The “90% Rule” That Puts You 100% In Control Of Everything
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- Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2015
- Things happen to us each and every day that we have no control over. Planes get delayed. We get sick. Devastating events occur. But what happens to you is only a tiny sliver of how your life goes. Use this powerful mental trick to (always) be in control of your happiness.
#MarieTV #PersonalGrowth #PositiveAttitude
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I'm trying to shift my attitude about money. I'm so overwhelmed and intimidated by finances, but I'm working really hard to change that. I want to feel empowered by money not scared of it.
+denised316 Make the shift. It will make all the difference. It is a process though. I started my shift some time ago and it is still evolving.
+New Future Builder definitely a process!
+denised316 two words > Time Banking.
Me too. I totally shut down when it comes to financial issues.
I have a little lack of friends who fill me with positivity....u fill the void. Thank u.
This statement is so powerful and should be tattooed in my brain.
Praying to my heavenly father about everything always helps to center me and propel me in forward motion.
My husband died several years ago. Although, I've tried and tried to find work with a livable wage, I was unsuccessful. I'd find a job that was 37.5 hours, and would only last for 87 days.. (aka no unemployment). I'd finally built up some credibility working in the content marketing realm, however, my landlord sold the condo I was living in, and without a buffer, I ended up moving into a corner of a friend's art studio in exchange for doing her laundry, house cleaning and food preparation. A small space with enough room for a couple of milk crates of clothes and a stack of sleeping bags as my sleeping space. I've been feeling like a bad Disney princess mashup- Cinderella, meets Rapunzel, meets Sleeping Beauty. By reframing this from "at least I'm not technically homeless" to using these phrases I'm starting to see some light and be a bit happier inside. Thank you
Hey don't give up. I was once living with other people too. What made me feel better is thinking that GOD was the one providing for everyone and I was depending on him, not another person. Because if that person has anything is because of God. Another thing that helped me out was being opened to any type hustle money. I did not have a car so I had a bike and was trying to knock on others peoples door with pamphlets of my services. Baby sitting, helping elders change a lamp..., cleaning. Join a church that is close to you and start networking. Networking will help alot! I hope prosperity comes to you. Think about it as you are a teenager again ... and this will be a new start : )
Hardships in life-- annoying questions, situations-- i could become more forgiving of myself and have an attitude that just accepts the situation
Its weird. Pipes burst in my house a few weeks ago and I was on the verge of freaking out. I calmed down after a little while thankfully but was stressed for a couple days. Last week my car breaks down on me on the way to work. Seemed like a transmission issue (which could be expensive) yet somehow....I stayed calm. It was strange. As if I reached a weird point where either I was numb to the stress or I just had a feeling that everything would be fine. In the end, the issue was simple and covered by warranty so no cost for me! lol
I believe it's called surrender when we stop fighting against fate/destiny/life and accept whatever outcome arrives.
Jul ofDenial I guess you could call it surrender. In a good way of course. I liked seeing it more as having faith that things do typically work out and faith my ability to make sure they do.
+New Future Builder You know you can learn to fix a lot of that yourself by Googling:What to do if pipes burst in my house.or How to fix a burst pipe.Also you might try Googling:How to fix a transmition.DIY can save you a LOT of money.I even learned how to repair MY SHOES online!
+New Future Builder Exactly, one can't surrender without faith.
adrienne gellman Nice!!! And thank you. I've thought of doing that. There are certain things that I don't want to mess with. Plus, all of our pipes need to be replaced which would take me ages to do. Our system is old. And thankfully the car issue was covered under factory warranty. One of these days I'll own a project car to repair on my own.
For me it was writing in my gratitude journal each night before I sleep. Before was getting depressed about the things I didn't have in my life and so the journal helps shift that focus into something positive.
I have recently shifted my attitude from not accepting the chaos around me and choosing today and in this moment to be happy. My recently had a self inflicted trauma which sent the family in a deep sadness, but through prayer and a shifted perception I can still see all the blessings in life
My work. When I am stressed out about people around me being stressed out about how to cook food quickly I just need to breath and say, I'm here because I want a job that flexibly gives me what I want in order to do my schooling and live the life I want.
I have a friend who says our attitude is a lot like a rudder on a ship: it determines our direction in life.
Taking even two seconds to breathe before you "react" often gives you just enough space to thoughtfully consider what's going on.
BUT, when I'm triggered, I learned a cool technique called "track shifting" - where I stop, check in with what I'm feeling, then explore what thoughts are triggering that emotional reaction. Once I validate the emotions, they often lose their power. But if i'm still feeling triggered, I can ask myself 3 questions to move me forward:
1. Is this thought true?
2. Does it apply to this situation (or am I dredging up the past)?
3. Does this thought empower me?
From there, I can CHOOSE my thoughts, which then trigger new emotions.
I just screenshot your comment and am going to try it the next time I'm confronted with unavoidable stress. Specifically, caring for an elder relative who has bouts of sundowning with accompanying confusion, agitation, anxiety, and generally urinating anywhere she gets the urge. I tend to lash out sometimes, angry that as soon as I turn my back she's done something else very messy and inconvenient. I especially react because she was emotionally abusive and distant the majority of my life and she remains in denial because she had it much worse with her mother, she always said. So my compassion and frustration fluctuate and I need a stabilizing voice, so to speak.
Glad you found it helpful. Negative and disempowering emotions can really get a hold of us sometimes!
+Jul ofDenial Have you ever read the author Louise Hay? I know that practicing her techniques will help you!
+F Vohra Thank you for the suggestion! I've not heard of her before but I'm very curious to know more about her technique.
I'm 17 I'm glad I understand and realize this stuff now compared to most people. My life will probably be pretty great ;).
Today onwards there will be no maybes with me.
“This is my decision and I will attack until the outcome is mine”!
NO ONE WILL PUSH ME AROUND!
NO ONE WILL TELL ME WHERE TO GO OR WHAT TO DO!
If I want something I will go after it with EVERYTHING I HAVE INSIDE ME!
This is huge shift in my attitude. Thanks Marie.
You always inspire me to live life better. Marie, because of you I've got clarity in my life. You empower me all the time. You're just amazing...
Marie - joy to look at, joy to listen to, joy to assimilate her precious and timely counsel. So this is who and what our Marie is and we love her.
This is the cold hard truth that will lighten our spirit!
Long ago and far away, I learned that the only tow things I could control are my time and my attitude. Tried to post on your website but the page was taken down,
6 weeks ago, I was leaving my mechanic when a car came out of nowhere and tboned my car on the driver side. It's been a stressful mess and a test of my attitude and perspective on life. The greatest shift in my attitude that could make the biggest difference is my attitude towards this situation and what I can do to make my life better. Thanks Marie for this message!
My mantra...that and "how you do one thing is how you do everything"...working on holding the tongue
Reminds me when I was in a Cambodian Jail Cell and I told my cell mates I liked it. Free food, free shelter cool friends around me. The more people talk and complain to the guards, the longer they stayed. lol.
When things don't go my way, i usually react with a negative attitude. i'm slowly teaching myself to keep calm and let things BE, even if you're in a bad situation. just be present and be mentally ready for whatever challenges that await.
I have the same symptoms, also working on it. Keep going!
April 15th (aka Tax Day) of a few years ago comes to mind. I awoke to my cats freaking out and I discovered it was b/c their litter pans were floating like tub toys in a flooded basement . "Ok, I said, stay cool girl, water's not higher than your Wellies. You got this" and I called Home Depot to have a submersible pump ready for pick up. Then I called the plumber to get on his schedule.
Before bedtime, I'd already realized I needed 1 more tax form for a city where I worked an extra part time job for a few weeks. So, I needed to drive to that municipality to pick up tax form to complete and mail before midnight. "No prob, I tell myself, you got this too." With pump & 100' of extra hose riding shot gun in the SUV, I head 20 minutes west for the tax form.
On the exit ramp, I realized I'd be stuck at home w/o groceries (shopping was superseded by flooding this day) while I waited for plumber. "Should I eat carbs, or not?" I ask myself. "Screw it, it's a sucky day so far, a Panera cinnamon crunch bagel & coffee is in order & en route to destination." A red-faced elderly man was eyeing me as I smeared a pat of butter on my bagel at the condiment stand. Seconds later he launched into a tirade about my weight, that I should be on The Biggest Loser - and asking everyone in ear shot to validate his opinion, that I have NO business eating a bagel...yada yada yada. Panera was packed at this hour of the morning and all heads turned to witness this surreal verbal assault. Housewives and business women rushed to my rescue, called for a manager and escorted the old man to a corner. (Now mind you, I had lost 65# @ this point, but in a ski jacket, Wellies and 'I'm dealing with a flooded basement and surprise taxes today t-shirt, jeans & ponytail, I was admittedly not at my best). But, nothing warranted the bullying I was subjected to. Clearly the man had issues. I didn't have the time to let this play out. I had to get taxes finished and anchor the Tidy Cat cruise ships sailing across the laundry room.
With tax forms in hand and Panera just as easily accessible east bound as it way the other way, I did stop back. The place had emptied after the ruckus. The manager, a tall blonde guy with the stature of a football lineman, couldn't have been more profusely apologetic when he saw me enter and offered anything to make up for the inconvenience. I asked for a coffee & bagel to replace what I'd left behind in hast. Explained the context of my day and headed home to wade into the depths of the flood waters and watch in wonderment as the little pump sucked gallons of H2O up the steps, down the driveway and into the storm drain. "I said proudly to myself, you got this girl!"
Now that was a day where I exercised 90% of attitude about what happened to me. Because, of course, I had wicked cramps that day too!
This is a great video because you are absolutely right. It's all about attitude because that is the only thing we can control...how we react to things & how we approach things. Sometimes, we get worked up for no reason when we don't have to & cause ourselves stress & anxiety because we create this fear in our minds. I think when you realize that you have 100% control over your life & no one is doing anything to you, then no one can hurt you. We create our own victim mentality because we allow others to make us feel unworthy or inadequate....or we just don't know how to control our temper & respond with calm assertiveness. Always keep your emotions in check instead of your emotions controlling you!
Marie has the BEST style ever
Watching this episode this morning, and my 3 year old (as she is eating cereal): "THIS IS WHAT I WANT! THIS IS WHAT I WANT!" What? She was listening :)
Yesterday in my recovery group the leader questioned what I was thinking after he was relating to my life and invited me to go to another meeting with him. Instead of being vague, leaving a general response, I shifted my attitude and was able to respond in a solid way with all honesty, admitting that I'm not very out going. From there it was easy communication as we addressed that weakness and afirmed my course in action to go to that meeting.
Thanks for all the subtitles, they help who isnt native English speakers a lot .😊
Rachel Olsen Hi! That’s good to know. :)
The area of my life where I could use a different attitude is towards meditating and working out when I think it's difficult
YES YES!!! So much YESSS!! This is a message that really needs to be spread!
Right now I have a list of important tasks that I need to do. I feel overwhelmed because some of them feel just as important as the others, and the most important tasks are the most complicated (as usual). I'm sitting here almost shaking with anxiety as I try to write a list of what I need to do. I don't have all day to get something done but I'm procrastinating on starting one thing because I'm so scared that it's the wrong choice and I'm also scared to do the tasks themselves for fear of failure. The change in attitude for me probably revolves around committing to starting one thing even if I'm not 100% sure it's the perfect choice, because then at least I can end the day saying "I got started on one of those important tasks today"
I am 27 and currently taking care of my 99 year old grandfather. I feel stuck as though I'll be here forever while all of my friends and family progress in their life. I feel as though I am a failure and will never accomplish my goals in life. I need to realize it's my attitude and fear that is holding me back, and not my circumstances
Just when I thought I am going to open my very first Jewellery shop I was told that the shop I wanted was not gazetted as commercial and to make things worse I am not able to get my work permit. Everything seems to have gone so wrong. I have let the ten percent overpowered me the last few days, your lesson helps me to find the ninety percent I need to be composed and level headed again. Thanks, the journey has only began.
10 years ago when I used to go to college at 1 station there was this quote.. life is 10% how u make it and 90% how u take it.. but awesome video.. need to keep reminding our selves about this over and over again.. nice dress.. looking really sweet.. in a nice way! .. I am an entrepreneur in a start up like u already know
there are times I think of quitting and then I step out .. look at the broader picture.. and step in again.. really helps.. thanks again.. keep up the great work
People must speak the truth all the time. All the people. this is the first thing a parent must tell to her (his) child, a teacher must teach a student. "Do not lie" If they ask why? the answer is when you lie you and other people suffer. So if you wan to be really happy in your own life "Do NOT LIE" So when those children become politicians , or judges or teachers they know that they must speak the truth that they must be objective they must be fair.
When someone (could be a stranger) acts mean, hurtful or crazy I remember people aren't born bad.....
Something happened to them, it couldn't have been good. I can be tolerant of them and not participate in the behavior.
I am still processing the loss of a loved one - and some days I'm good, and some days grief overtakes me. Depression isn't something that I'm used to - I'm usually a driven, motivated person who is on top of her game and making things happen - but this is really knocking me down. I want to control it better, but I can't sometimes. Thank you for tip #2 - checking in - I think that will be most helpful. As long as the earth is beneath my feet, I'm okay.
If you have any additional advice on how to control/move past things that would be so appreciated. I'm trying to process while still keeping my business moving forward (even though there are days where I have no desire to). Thanks M!
A shift in attitude at work would make the greatest impact in my life. I'm very reactive and my boss has talked to me about it. I say I don't care but it could be ruining my reputation inside and outside the company without me knowing. If I want opportunities down the road, I need to start where I am today.
Working my third job to finance my dream job! I need to look at it as though I'm getting paid to market my own business!
Wow, I wasn't expecting that. AMAZING video. I LOVED it so much. Thank you.
Maria, hi! I"ve just run into your channel, so I'm kinda a newcomer here. But I looooved your content so much. Pieces of advice you're giving are super functional for me. But I still have a zone in my life that I can't cope by myself. It's somewhat a leaking hole that annoys me but I can never handle it. You see, I am a super ambitious person, striving for success, with lifetime goals and blah-blah-blah. But all these puts too much pressure on me so that I literally buckle under it. I can't make it through emotional burnouts and turn into a total mess every now and then. For instance, I'm at the uni now. I am a solid student with almost straight As. But still, each time I am facing an exam, I can't stop freaking out. It feels like I know nothing and won't be able to succeed. I have sleep problems because of this, eating habits get ruined, I can become antisocial and aggressive (tho I am an extrovert for the most part), and I always cry and moan for solitude.
I do understand that it is because of my attitude, and I want to change it. Cuz living like this is a torture. This has been for several years already 9I mean I've always been fussy but not on this level). It all started after I graduated from the school and moved to another city all alone. Hopefully, you'll read my comment, but if not, still wanna admire your job.
Thanks in advance. And again, I adore your content. It is refreshing for so many people. Thank you for all
I want to change my attitude in my relationships. Often I say and do things that are irreversible out of stress. Even though I might've hurt some friendships, its important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. I can't change how those people feel, but I can change how I feel about myself. I'm done punishing myself because deep down I know that what I did isn't bad. I was naive at the time and I have to forgive myself. The world isn't small. New people and experiences await. If old people can't grow with me, then it's time to say goodbye.
As a form of meditation I practice on Dhikr .Meditation with rewarding benefits
How i feel towards my studies. I need to start taking them more seriously and I need to do it for me, not anyone else just for me. This shift in attitude I believe will bring me the most of what i desire out of life.
Something that can change in my life is the attitude I take when I can't reach my goals because of my long hours of work.
Instead of being frustrated and allow panic to be part of me I close my eyes take deep breaths and visualize what the outcome should be.
Yes , there have being moments when I am frustrated and my tolerance level is very short. In those moments of frustration I have taken deep breaths to keep my focus.
Visualizing on how can the universe helps me to be creative are key as well to overcome moments like this.
Thank you for refreshing my mind to the possibilities of the now,
In my opinion, your best video ever...courageous , intelligent, and full of heart! Yes ma'am!!
I totally agree....*)! I love this quote too. I tend to spit out the/my truth with no limitations, what I like about myself on one hand, but on the other hand I had to learn that my words are often too powerful for a lot of people, esp in my private life.
A lot of people think it's great to have such a powerful tool, but there comes a huge responsibility with it. Responsibility also includes to control what comes out of our mouth.
What still is a bit hard for me from time to time, is to find the balance between my private life and my work life, because I am paid to 'spit out the truth'. So I am really used to it, that people appreciate it. But in my private life, I still have to work on it.
ps: Yoga saved me too....*)))
Thank you for your video and have a great week
Lia
"and I love that"
I say instead of wanting
I want to be OK to feel left out. Sometimes I dissapear because of self-pity a lot of the times and I want to get rid of that attitude. I want to acceptive of such situations, smile, calm down, and let people notice, let people come to me, let them have the opportunity to. Thats what I want. This is v helpful Marie. Thank you.
So funny. I've been doing this for many years. But I would use the quote from the movie "Point of No Return". Main charter was taught to say this when things were bad, "I never did mind about the little things". To this I applied to many things that have happened in my life. (like my band new car getting hit!) Saying it gives me enough pause to address whatever has happened the right way.
hiee there beautiful soul!!
I love your videos they helped me alot.
Faith in god is the only thing which kept me going. Faith in whatsoever happens to me is for my betterment kept my attitude positive even in the worst circumstances of my life.
The specific area of life where I need to shift my attitude to produce the greatest impact: I need to stop allowing the opinions of others to negatively affect the way I feel about myself. If this attitude shift were to take place, I would be more confident, less anxious and better equipped to lead.
WOW... did I need to hear THIS!
Crap happens - and, yes, I move on... but I dwell on "this isn't where I SHOULD have been" "this wasn't what was SUPPOSE to have happened" "I was GOING to be THERE with THAT...and someone ELSE is in MY spot".
Honestly... I'm doing great. I've made the best of what I was given (see - even THERE I was relating to the past.... ok let's try it again....). I am going a way I have chosen to proceed, and I am knocking it out of the park. I CAN and WILL be successful in anything I put my mind to - and I am putting my mind to THIS!!
(I need to watch this video over and over and over and over!)
"Is my heart beating" is a big one 😆
everything happens for a reason and we are more than equipped to handle every situation. moment by moment.
Thanks for the reminder :)
I feel so blessed that I discovered MarieTV channel, Marie is a fantastic life coach. I totally agree that meditation is critical to a successful life.
I am working on shifting my attitude towards my personal development and career.
This was very helpful, Marie, thank you. I especially liked the third point, which with more life experience, I've come to appreciate. The first time it hit me, I was sitting in a large, empty university lab around 2 a.m., looking forward to another 4+ hours to finish writing my paper. As a returning student in my early 30ies, I was there because I didn't yet have a good computer but needed one for the graduate courses I was now taking. At one point, feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, I cried a bit - but suddenly stopped as it hit me that I'd gone to quite some trouble to be right there, doing just what I was doing. I'd left a decently paying job after finding out I'd won a fellowship, moved to an apartment close by, and was lucky enough to work with a group that had literally given me a key to that building so I could access equipment needed to pursue my studies. I think it was a bit later the same night a more advanced student brought by a big ol' Wendy's burger, knowing I was worried about that paper. Can't beat that :'). And years later, working in a pretty stressful environment, I realized at one point - sadly, not overnight - that the office politics would just roll on, after all, but I could choose to be happy. And I did.
After a very bad day, this is what I wanted to hear today!! I will surely follow your advice. Two thumbs up!!
Marie, you teach us so many fabulous and deep concepts, you are such an inspiration. But girl, I just gotta say that HAIIRRRR is just soooo pretty! Keep doin this amazing work! Thank you
I love this, I totally needed this at work because I reacted to things a little more than I should have. Thank you!
Marie is the Queen B!
This is absolutely right on. I love this.
2020 includes a shift in attitude about myself and what I do. I'm starting with changing habits and beliefs 1) I do something each day to get emotionally and physically strong (the former is how I came across this lovely video of yours Marie!). 2) I can shift my business in the direction I desire! Thank you for the message.
This post was sooooo timely!! Thank you! Thank you!
Loved the way you explain the most important things in very simple words and love your personality... I want your channel to become one of the best !!!
Thank you so much Marie. I follow your video, subscribed to Copy Cure and admire your teachings for my business S&H Youth, a youth mentoring career organisation I have started, but this video spoke to me on a personal level in regards to another part of my life. From this day onwards, I am going to change may attitude towards that particular circumstance; for my own well being and to hopefully bring positive change. So thank you again! Love your work! xxx
Great stuff. I love everything in this video, and the "Hold the tongue" component is something that I just started on yesterday after watching a life coach video. I think it can be particularly helpful for codependents who are working on healing their codependency. When someone else does something or says something hurtful and wounds us, if we react immediately, chances are it's the wounds from our childhood that are getting reopened, and we don't react from our higher selves, we react from our hurt child. If we stop and think about what happened from an objective standpoint, instead of reacting immediately from our wounded self, we can react in an emotionally healthier way. Thank you Marie.
Love the quote Marie! Attitude is everything!
When my kids are driving me nuts. .. and this is what I want. lol :)
Hi Marie. I just started watching you and wow! I did petsitting and dog walking for another public figure that said I needed to watch you as well. A big shift in my attitude was saying no to less than ideal clients. At first I would take anyone but as time goes on not anymore. Also the intestinal fortitude to act like a business owner and less like an employee.
she taking this real estate class again after missing the test by a few points AND I WANT THIS😯
I’m going to change my attitude when things don’t go my way. Thanks for the great video!
I so need to work on holding my tongue. That is probably one of my biggest issues.
I love this video (and Marie’s dress!) and this is what I want! For real. Thank you!
I loved this video:-) I used to read this quote to my high school students at the beginning of the year when I was a teacher:-) Great wisdom! Take care---- Brandis
I love the video. Thank you Marie. Happy subscriber here.
Marie, thank you for explaining ATTITUDE SO WELL! I wish somebody could have explained it to me this way as A child, for I've always been accused of having a bad attitude since my early childhood - but, I never understood what that meant because I am what I am! Being in myself, I didn't know the definition of a bad attitude because I simply reacted the way I felt based on thoughts that perhaps were negative. I have learned to control myself by simply thinking positives for every negative I hear and by asking myself "how do I want to react to this?" Other times I have no control.
Heartbreak, loneliness and depression
Thank you, i will start working on my emotions and attitude.
Thanks Marie! I love this and was needed! I want this!!!
Thanks for being so inspiring Marie!
I don't know how to stop that knee - jerk ego hurting moments , when you respond on your own, or you dont even get to know and someone is hurt and then they become rude to you. Like family or loved ones. ?
This is one of the best episodes, i love the most. Thanks Marie
Great video Marie! Love the flower theme in your home. Very refreshing... just gave me some decorating ideas for my new loft!
Yes, I like this video very much. Always in the "on spirit" of writing my PHD Thesis, I will achieve my PHD Degree next year in September. :) Thanks once again for lifting my Spirit:)
awesome video, thank you being consistent.
Oh dang I'm writing that quote down and putting it on my desk! :D
I really needed to hear this - thanks so much! X
You give me a lot of motivation. Thank you (comment from a girl in Vietnam)
i love you Marie, thanks for your insights.
truly love this!!! 💗💗💗💗
I had to listen to this over and over just for the first few seconds about the hair in the English accent 👍😂 excellent post 💯 attitude!
Thank you marie for sharing
This is key to everything!
Loved this. Thank you!
Great topic and tips... thanks!!
LOVED THIS!
Love it!! Thank you. So good to see quotes from Chuck Swindoll :D
Such a great video!!!! Thank you so much!
Aaaaah Forleo!! Powerful Woman! ❤❤❤ (Portuguese okay? Eu acho que você não existe! Loved❤)