EXACTLY!!! They're just playing games in every moment of their existence. He even has his buddies convinced he's a genius instead of them just understanding he's mirroring and manipulating them too.
If you treat a narcissist the same way they treat you they cry like the little cry babies they are. The bottom line is, they can dish it out but can't take it.
My mom borrowed money from me. She started acting rude towards me because she knew she wouldn’t pay me back. I asked for my money.. she called me selfish and sent me a picture of her crying
Narcissists are always contradicting themselves. They expect perfection from you, but when they mess up, they got all the excuses in the world. Accountability is not in their vocabulary.
Yes I agree it's so sad too. No matter what I do it's never enough. I have health problems stage 3 curoseis and he holds that over my head I'm at the point where I just don't know what to do or how to respond
@@pennydezsi6073I got screamed at and abused for being sick, OF COURSE I HATED YOU STEPH!! WE COULDN'T F#U$X! I'm like...s.m.h. and I have given three years to clean it up too. Been well for years now, and because he could when I was sick😢 It will never be for me, nevwr was anyways, even when I could have intimacy 😢saddens me
From experience, with narcissists, everything .... EVERYTHING is a waste of time except walking away. All you need to do is to RUN AWAY. Be brave, choose yourself. ❤
@@terricreamer5315 me to. It takes every ounce of strength not to wipe it off their faces. If they wind you up and you get angry that smirk ever so briefly crosses their faces. If you’re looking at them you’ll catch it. It’s brief but it’s there. Then they start telling you how YOU’RE acting like a mad person. All you can do to preserve your sanity, is if absolutely necessary respond. Do you’d utmost NEVER to react. They want the reaction.
@@maggie6 exactly! My mother in law would call it his “shit eating grin”. And yes, it takes a lot not to beat his ass and end up in jail. He loves to call me “angry”.
@@terricreamer5315 oh I know I know! Almost 40 years into this. More of it without the internet than with. We didn’t have access to knowledge and learning like people do now. I’ve only known for a few short years what was going on with him. And I only started to learn after he’d emotionally and mentally abused me so much my immune system collapsed. I was so sick for 5 years all I could do was worry about my health (and do what I could to shut him up along the way of course). My doctor referred me to a psychologist and for the last few years I’ve slowly learnt how to manage this. The best way is to get the hell out and never look back of course. But for many of us and for many different reasons, that’s not always possible. So, we have to find a way to make ourselves important to us! Important enough to realise these people have an incurable mental illness and nothing we do will cure them. So even while living under the same roof. We have to cut them loose to deal with themselves while we look after ourselves and get better. We have to realise we are important too. And after years of being brainwashed to serve these people and do everything to please them. It’s not easy to train ourselves into believing we are decent, human beings who deserve better. Taking their abuse and desperately trying to please them has been so deeply ingrained into us, it is hard to see ourselves as worthy of anything. But we are. They are sick, miserable individuals and it’s true. Misery loves company. We deserve better and we need to achieve that for ourselves. Whether we are able to get our. Or if for whatever reason we can’t. But we can LOOK AFTER OURSELVES AND PUT OUR NEEDS FIRST.
@@MentalHealness Just like you said before, it is trauma being passed down to the next generation. "That will never end until someone puts a stop to it."
“Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.” Proverbs 22:24-25
Wow, this is the scripture that God gave me when I was in a relationship with a Narcissist. I just reflected on this scripture the other day. God speaks to us, we just have to be aware.
You are correct my husband would leave out living room and come into our bedroom and turn on the TV just to disturb my peace. Then he git Mas bc I started sleeping in the other room. Then he started to act up in front of my children and tell them that all your moma do is fuss. At the end of our relationship my husband started recording me and got mad bc I wouldn't listen to the recording. He discarded me bc I started treating him like he was treating me.
Ive tried mirroring the narcs behaviors and was left feeling completely drained- totally not my character to mistreat others. I now give the narc the silent treatment, treat them as the irrelevant bastard they are and find that to be quite effective. Narcs can't stand being ignored.
@@marcuslong9761 Being nice is an understatement. When someone's mission is to upset you for the heck of it, the average persons reaction definitely will not be kindness in any form for the victim's likely to be mistreated even more.
The Bible warns against rendering evil for evil. It also says “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” says the Lord. I’ve come to the place of learning to trust I could never make an evil person pay the way God can. When I don’t put them In God’s hands for his justice, judgement and vengeance to play out, I actually sin and do short change myself. Give it over. Free yourself. God knows best.
I left my husband for this very reason. I mirrored everything back to him except the isolation and cheating. Now I’m on his podcast as the narcissist and HE suffered narcissistic abuse. All I could do was laugh because I was warned by my therapist.
He was the first guy I was ALL in and didn't play games with. Didn't show him the crazy side teaching him lessons for talking shitty to me so I walked away when he least expected and its been a week and 6 days! 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾😍💛
They never want people to know how badly they abused and hurt you! They just want to blame you for why they abused you. It’s messed up. Move on. ❤yourself!
@@Trini2dbone868 I agree. However when they scheme to take all the money, destroy all your support, what option does one have? If it were up to me My abusers would be held accountable! Money 💰 = power! Sometimes you just move on and be grateful you made it out ALIVE
I remember trying to "get him to understand" that if he treated me better it would be to HIS benefit. Under his breath he mumbles, "Then I'd have to work at it." In that moment I realized, he knew EXACTLY what he was doing 👹
Oh yah, I’ve tried so hard to get them to communicate with their family and even having a TIA in the process-this actually worked. But all the explaining I’d done about their behaviors toward me have just fallen on deaf ears and been experienced by them as criticism which it was
Well… in my situation.. I took the kids, got the heck outta dodge, moved states, blocked his ass. To hell with child support, child support meant visitation.. NO! You don’t get to mentally fucq with these angels! We’re good! I’ll call that a fucqing win!! 💪🏾
This actually is not true. God can and will help you win over such a person/organization run by such persons. In my case they thought they could fire me and that would be the end of being held accountable but, now that they have, I get to take them to court. I get money. THAT is a butt hurt they will NEVER forget …and so I won. Simple. Funny thing is I wanted to leave, was just holding on till I got something else. So in essence, they did me a favour. If I had resigned, I would have just left with a final one month salary and would have been left out in the cold afterwards. They fire me, I get way more than a months salary to support myself 😂😂😂
I said to my narcissist boyfriend years ago that I was going to treat him just the way he treated me...he said after one day "I don't like it at all". Then we broke up.
I said to the Covert narcissist husband "how would you like it if I treated you just like you treat me?" He gave me a disgusted look. That sure told me he wasn't a fair man.
@@ND-or5so of course they don't want you to treat them the same way because they have a sense of entitlement and superiority they see you with disgust and themselves as Superior king and queen
This is part of the double standard with the narcissist. What is ok for them to do is absolutely NOT ok for you. And the justification they come up with is completely off base.
Mine always said "You're so angry ALL the time!" when he treats me with disrespect. If he gets mad at me its logical, when I get mad at him, I'm emotional and a c*nt. The projection and hypocrisy is real with these morons.
Absolutely true. What really bothers me the most is the fact, that these double standards are often so damn obvious, but nobody actually percieves them. Even if you try to argue, they won't get it. It's so frustrating.
I am a passive person and I HATE confrontation. Every now and then, I can't be silent anymore! I blow up and yell, curse and belittle him at the top of my voice. The next thing you know, he's nice and polite and begin to be kind for three days, it's exhausting and humiliating. I want out! Going to a Therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck...
Be positive sista and PLEASE get the therapy. I'm divorcing my narcissists wife and started to give her a taste of her own medicine (which is truly against my nature) and she can't handle it. The therapist will definitely help with reclaiming your confidence and self respect. Stay safe my sista you got this
Narcissists NEED doormats. Once they realize you won't stand for it, you're disposable to them. In their minds, they MUST have they're way with peoole, or else!!!
I will do that exactly I will not allow anyone to make me a doormat thank u.I must instil same behaviour to my kids, I use to allow these people to walk over I don't want to pass that to my kids
Unfortunately, most men nowadays are extremely narcissistic. They prey on weak women because they are weak themselves. I've been single for 7 years. It gets lonely at times, but I'm at peace. Men don't like it when I speak up for myself and don't back down. Oh well. I guess I'll be single for another 7 years. Because I refuse to become weak just to satisfy a man!!
Very true! As soon as you stop giving them their narcissistic supply, or they even get a HINT that you mayyy take it away, they’ll be looking for their next fix! Don’t worry, that one won’t last long either!
True story! The best way to find out if a someone is a narcissist if you’re having suspicions when you first meet them, mirror them. Do whatever it is they’re doing that is making you suspicious of them, back to them. See what they do. You’ll know right away. No narcissist starts out right away doing anything overly exposing themselves as a narcissist. At least not when they’re trying to make their move on you. So the red flags are typically pretty subtle. Like for an example, you text them and then they don’t text you back, for an extended period of time. See what happens when they text you and you don’t text them right back. Do they freak out? Or do they just completely ghost you and never contact you again? If they do either of these things, you were right. It’s a great trick To save you from a lot of heartache. I use it all the time.
They can never take what they dish out. A narcissist will ALWAYS play victim when put on the spot and even pretend to forget what they've done. Selective amnesia.
Right I was seeing if he was gone talk to me on Valentine's day I didn't call him days before I waited till that day came and he came to my house knock on my door and was like why u ain't call me and I said cause u don't answer then he smack his lips but I'm taking a break from him right now
When I suspect someone is a narc, I immediately pull out the "treat them like they treat us." I get crazy looks, speechlessness, confusion, a little whining....then they slink away on their own because they know they can't "play" with you.
When I found out that my ex friend is covert narcissist, I decided to take back my power. I mirrored back the devaluing stage. She discarded me. I went no contact. I blocked her and all her people. My life is getting better every day. Yes narcissists are fully aware of what they do.
The evidence is in the fact that they have different behavioral repertoires. Notice how they act one way around people they can get supply from and another way around their targets. They have lots of internal shame, insecurities, and anger. Instead of dealing with it in healthy ways they turn around and put it back on you. That's why you have to get away from them.
Doing exactly how you said it! Finding my way back to my train station and getting in a different train!!! I love being able to have myself back again!!! Never had anxiety, depression, or straight physical violence! I am now chill in my own home and literally still getting breadcrumbs, hovering, love bombing! But NOPE … not today!😁😁😁Feeling myself again and never going back!!
Tanya Copeland I usually treat people with kindness and respect, yet still get picked on and bullied by some cleaners (I used to be one so have empathy for them), security guards and staff at what used to be my favourite coffee shop, which means that it clearly doesn't always work. 😥
My husband knows that he is toxic. He thinks it’s my job to love him through it because it’s not his fault. He has childhood trauma so I should just give up the rest of my life to wait for him to be kind and honest. I’m on my way out. I made public what was in secret. I’m not hiding in the dark anymore. He’s gone silent, and it’s probably for the best.
@@annaakatsa8182I’m so glad you escaped 😊 I hope you have some supportive friends around to keep you strong. Lee’s channel us good to listen to. Also Dr Ramani is a good channel on narcissism as well. God bless 🙏🏽💖
I treated him the same way for a month. He left and he filled for divorce. I felt like things might go smoother if he got to tell people, “I filed”. I just needed him gone. Nearly 15 years of freedom!!!
When I discovered my narc husband was cheating on me (trying to make me jealous for extra control) - I drove to work the next day my heart singing with joy I’m FREE! - infidelity was my deal breaker
When I treat the narcissist the same way he treats me (he makes sudden startling noises everytime he walks by my door), He jumps into a fit of rage. Then I backed off and said if you don’t like the way I treat you then why did you treat me that way? He goes silent and walks out. Basically if you treat them the same way they treat you, they run away like cowards.
you aint lying, i started lying, talking to other men, being deceitful, and going places secretly then acting nonchalant when he asked where i had been. dey dont like that
I found it funniest when I told him about a year ago I was going to cheat on him if he didn’t step his game up, he couldn’t handle it lol. It was payback for when I was pregnant and on full bed rest, when he told me if I couldn’t satisfy his sexual needs he was going to be forced to go somewhere else lol
This is my thing. There’s no way a person doesn’t know that they’re lying and manipulating. They will actually say things that they do to other people or to you in the past to confirm it. They just don’t care or see anything wrong with it because that behavior benefits them.
My Narc does this. They have told me that they like pushing my buttons, they like to get a reaction, and they will repetitively say hurtful things that we have discussed. They have been told that this behavior is abusing, and they continue.
I believe, a month and a half into the "relationship" I asked myself:"Does he even have a conscience?" Literally, I would tell him to his face what he's doing and he stood there like a brick wall...no emotion...
I did this to my husband and conveniently had amnesia about all the horrible things he said to me. Now I am abusive!🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh he has no idea how much anger I have stored up just for him.
@@chelseabrinkley2040 Try doing it for 30yrs. Been preparing since last year to get my set up and me and my daughter out of here and it's almost that time!
100%. I stopped defending myself against his gas lighting. I started ignoring him and being inconsiderate of him like he had done me. I started a smear campaign with my family even though I had not previously told about how bad he was. And a few weeks ago he asked me for a divorce because he did not like being treated the way he's been treating me for the last 18 freaking years
Hopefully my husband will ask for a divorce then. I’ve asked 3 times now and he’s threatened, well, promised to keep me in court for years as he’d rather see the lawyers get everything than see me get anything. That he absolutely will do no matter how much he loses out of it. His goal is to make sure I lose everything and in my seventies I don’t have years to waste on his narcissistic battles in court.
@@fallenlotus9572 I've noticed that people always swallow the narc's smear campaign like frkkn CANDY. But when the true victim (scapegoat) tells them the TRUTH, they REFUSE to believe it!!! Even if you somehow get to them before the narc does!!! Someone please explain this BIZARRE anomaly to me!!! They automatically believe the narc's lies as truth but REJECT THE TRUTH EVERY TIME.
When I matched his energy he asked me if I was trying to get revenge but couldn't answer why I would want revenge lol he didn't realize it but he gave me closure in that moment. He had acknowledged how badly he treated me by asking if I as trying to get revenge. It also meant it was working. Makes moving on easier. I didn't even cry.
This is 200% true! My ex husband called me a Narcissist when I started standing up to him and holding him accountable. That was the beginning of the end of our marriage.
They know exactly what they’re doing…..they will tell everyone around them that you are the toxic one…..when you get a chance to tell their inner circle what they are doing…..just do it, no mercy. 👍✊
So I ended up on a first date with a narcissist who was so incredibly similar to my narcissist ex - it was uncanny. I could sense his narcissism within the first five minutes (definitely the bitter and covert type - no charm whatsoever) as he invalidated and criticized things I said, while also wanting me to praise him for his career as a high-level engineer. It was toxic from the word go. Once you go through intense narcissistic abuse, you can spot it so quickly. Although the most obvious example was when we were walking to the place and he refused to slow down and walk next to me. He kept insisting that he's just a fast walker and that he doesn't like how slow people are. Just incredibly rude behavior, but to him it was probably a form of dominance/control. I should have ended the date right there. Anyways, in the moment I did what I never did with my ex - I refused to give him the benefit of the doubt. I matched his energy and was assertive back. I didn't accept his criticisms. I could tell he was incredibly frustrated that he couldn't maintain the power in the situation and that I wasn't impressed by him.
I’d immediately leave but I’m glad u knew and got a kick out of it I’d leave because once he’s on to you knowing what he is which is a narcissist he was going to hide it better and it sucks for the next person but hey at least you got a kick out of it and gave him the same energy back I’d leave to shock them and get a reaction out of him without engaging these ppl are demons 🫣
My Ex once told me "When I do it I don't mean it, It's not on purpose. But when you do it, it's vindictive. So that makes you worse." Lol the ridiculous arguments we had when I look back now. Man...
YUP!!!!! He’s like but I’m not aware and doing it on purpose so it’s not evil but you doing it on purpose is evil etc. you being “ unaware” of what your doing is irrelevant at this point, I been telling you 10 years what your doing is hurting me, your aware of it your ego just won’t allow you to admit it to me or yourself
He is so on POINT damn I never understood what a narcissist was like until I dated 1 it is a horrible experience it’s so frustrating & they are so full of 💩
I spent an hour or so once responding to my ex's texts with only his own old texts copy/pasted back to him. He didn't realize what I was doing and accused me of being abusive and mentally unhinged. The funny thing is I knew he wouldn't realize what I was doing , so I didn't send certain texts of his back, because they were TOO mean. He had no problem saying it to me, I couldn't send his own super mean texts back to him
@Rosenpoe I'm not a spiteful person, but I am petty as hell lol. To be honest that was the most I enjoyed talking to him in a year . 10/10, would recommend 👌
I always been someone that said “two wrongs dont make a right” but after telling him calmly with words and it didnt work, with tears and it didnt work, with arguments and it didnt work, They still continued to lie and betray, I decided to finally give him a taste of his own medicine for the 1st time ever and what I did wasnt even the exact same thing he was doing but I knew it would hurt him and give him a idea of wtf he was making me feel so I proceeded with the plan and he went crazyy. It hurt his ego soo muchhh. It became topic of my life lol. He always mentioned it during every argument and he didnt want to be with me. When they know you a rider they take advantage of it and take u for granted but if u ever attempt on giving them a small taste of their own medicine its a deal breaker for them. Silly mindset they have.
If you begin acting like them, that’s another level of control they’ve gained over you. They further accomplish their mission. Be true to yourself and be you!
All of this happened to me. I lost myself trying to match them... And then I had to fight my way back to me and fight to forgive myself. This one is so deep and on point as always
That's exactly what happened to me. I turned into an angry, violent, raging lunatic..then depressed then isolated now I'm happy again 😊 and I'm no contact after 6 years in and 6 years out
@@Kianarevision thank you so much! I'm glued to Watchung Blueface and Chrisean Rock because they are the epitome of narcissistic abuse. From top to bottom, through and through!!! And I hope she has the same breakthrough!
Honestly you don't have to treat them the same they treat you, they want you to snap so they can tell you are crazy. They want to put you on their level and beat you up with their experience. You don't have to fight with anything, live them in their crazy and go on with your life
@MissyChannel-hf2le congratulations my wife is a deep narcissist I started matching her but on steroids hers came on so subtle till it crept on my with destruction. But I broke her ass with her real deep crying made her really acknowledge all her ungodliness and evil doings bad behavior how it affected our kids . The victim mentality didn't work trying to blow it off didn't work I smeared it in her face and keep my foot up her ass because every time I ease up she starts to revert . But I'm so worn out because it's not who I am and I'm not the same person all this anger and violence inside me I need a real flea bath. All the constant lying she would say I put that on my momma (R.I.P) be lying on her dead momma sabotage was her thing for revenge if she didn't get her way . I really see myself getting a divorce and file for custody of my kids because my whole family has been affected so traumaticly by her the oldest has a darkness in them 😢😢
This is true! My ex-narc would get so mad if I started talking crazy to him just like he would do me. Then, he'd tell me that I had mental issues and needed to go talk to someone!😐🤦🏾♀️🤣 If he'd called me names like, "Bs, ho3es, etc., I would come back and call him the exact same names, and then he'd go sit down somewhere. When I started giving him a taste of his own medicine, he didn't like it. If he would ignore me when I tried to talk to him, I would flip the script and do him the same way. He'd blow up and get mad because I was ignoring him, but it was okay for him to ignore me. As the saying goes, "It's no fun when the rabbit has the gun!" 🤣🤣🤣
Yes going through that now and his mother and father don’t even hold his behind accountable and I always take the blame he was sweet and nice at first but these two years of my life wasted my baby died him not his family didn’t care they threaten to call cops and record me and all and also they are white and they are racist I was to stupid and blinded cuz I was too worried of having a place to stay and now Im making home help me get my drivers license a car ID and a job so I can leave all of them behind 😂😂😂 and they all call me crazy for being tooo emotional when I literally just went through hell and almost died having her sons baby 😂😂😂
Mines would gas light me and I reply to him just like he do to me and he would say I'm trying to be the man in the relationship and that I have a bad attitude.
@Dem10 I had a bad attitude as well according to my ex-narc. 🤣 However, I ran into him last weekend at the wake/funeral of his aunt and he "acted" like he was sooo happy to see me. 🙄🤦🏾♀️ I saw right through him and didn't say much to him because the questions he asked were the same ones he gaslighted me with when we first started talking. He then low-key tried to whisper, "I need to talk to you," when he saw me. I just looked at him. I didn't acknowledge and say, "Yeah, okay." I was actually on my way out the door when someone else I hadn't seen in a long time stopped me and I started talking to them. Once I finished talking to them and saw that my ex-narc was distracted with someone else, I ducked out and went home. I've told him several times via email that he doesn't have anything to talk to me about. So, I guess I needed to show him because seeing it in black and white in an email apparently fell on blind eyes!🤨😫🤣 The couple of family members of his that I saw at the wake, I told them that I was trying to get out of there before he started talking to me and they laughed because they already know I don't want anything else to do with him and know I deserved better than him.
I have a slightly different take on this. In my case, my covert narcissist wife seemed to only settle down when she got the anger reaction out of me she wanted. She would push buttons, make accusations, start drama, say horrible things, anything to make me react. And then when I did she would be like, "why are you overreacting"? Then she'd be nice. She would seem truly happy that she was able to prove in her mind that I was the unstable one trying to cause problems over nothing. What they want is to put their toxic personality traits on to you and try to convince everybody else around that your positive traits are actually theirs.
BINGO!! This is exactly what they do. It is a spiritual form of identity theft. The psychopaths ruling over us today are doing the same thing and are of the same corrupted seedline....(Cain/Esau). See Revelation 2:9 and 3:9 for a description of these imposters and who they are pretending to be......
It took me until adulthood to connect the dots on my covert narc mom's behavior. Thought she was just moody, stubborn, gossipy, controlling, superficial (e.g., obsession with money and people's finances), and missing something upstairs by making sweeping assumptions and being a know-it-all. It wasn't until she manipulatively lied to my face and made ludicrous accusations that I realized that there's something very wrong with her. Now I completely Grey Rock so she can't weaponize any personal information.
This is true. I literally act like him now in some ways. He discarded me about 2 weeks ago & I've noticed that I have picked up some of his toxic traits. I feel like him and I switched places. It's very strange.
Its true. I started acting like that not good. But i found the courage to tell him what he was really like. He listened then started abuse. I discarded and deleted. Weeks now and nothing. I dont think he will come back now. I know too much not a good supply any more.
@@barbaraseccombe2421it’s true we all end up at some point lowering ourselves down to their level and give them back some of what they been doing to us and others for years. We just have to be careful and maintain self awareness and once we get rid of the Narc once and for all that’s when we need to work on ourselves and work on being better people.
My NARC was blindsided and now calls me evil. He has no idea I was just giving him a taste of his own medicine. I wish I hadn’t now because he says “you do the same thing.” You can’t win.
I hope you're able to someday get yourself away from the situation you're in. The best thing we can give our children is a happy home; the second best thing we can give them is the freedom from an unhappy home.
This is my husbands favorite phrase lately.... He loves saying " I just give what I get " or ”what About how you talk to me? " or after he's called me derogatory names like 50 times I start calling him names back or even once and he says "see? It's ok for you to call me names but I'm not supposed to call you names! ” It's the most frustrating and horrible treatment I've ever even witnessed much less had to live through! And I'm so over it! I used to get hurt and still in the back of my heart hoped he would change... Now I literally can't stand hearing his voice or his lies. I can't wait til I'm gone! The hate is real but I will heal! He will always be miserable and everyone will see his true colors! Especially since he won't have me or my kid as the supply he's used to around to take the heat anymore! Good luck to the next poor soul that falls for his bs!
I've mirrored back the ex-narcissist's behaviors such as silent treatment and triangulation towards him... And after a little while I left him after I knew what I'm dealing with... Best decision I've ever made in my whole life... Narc free since two years... Thank you for your videos...
I asked my ex boyfriend if he was a narcissist, and this is what he did. First, he stopped talking and looked down for a brief moment . Then he looked up at me with a slight smile and said, “ Maybe I am and maybe I’m not.” The way he looked at me with that smile answered my questioned.
I told an ex narc once that I was putting in the same effort that he gave me. He said, "and you don't think that's manipulation?" I was like, "Uh. No. I'm matching your energy." 🤷🏼♀️ but you know, only manipulation if I do it. 😒
When I told my ex Narc the same way I tolerate his BS that he has no right to say nothing when he gets the same treatment from me. He got upset and said he’s not “down” with my games. That life’s too short for the issues😆🙄
@@mweusimrembo890 Right!! The level of their hypocrisy is beyond measure. He got livid when I also told him that his mask comes off behind closed doors.
As soon as I talked down to him he hated it. I continued and we broke up. He started going out posting him with different girls. I finally posted me with a guy,he had the nerve to say I proved him right. This was AFTER we have broken up. They just want to play mind games
When I have matched my partners narcissistic behaviors as a survival mechanism they always get crazier and crazier to where I can't even keep up with how wicked they get. Also I feel incredibly drained and full of guilt. I can't even comprehend how they can behave like this day in and day out and never feel bad. Never ever apologize or take accountability. I feel like I use to constantly apologize just to bring some kind of peace back in the home cause I feel like I can't breathe like I'm dying inside.
My ex would talk to me knowing my eyes are closed and I'm falling asleep. And I'd have to open my eyes and respond. So he wouldn't go in a rage. Keeping me up at night on purpose.
Ctfu... this was me this morning. I start sleeping in the living room n he comes in with his loud ass phone tryna show me some reels knowing I'm sleepy as fuck. Then I just started laughing hysterically out loud and then he was lost n said oh u was dreaming bout that other ninja... I politely said YES God told me the man sitting next to u is NOT the 1... he finally got up and I was able to rest... bofl
My First narcissistic ex of 8yrs would keep me awake during arguments that he started over nothing, then blame me for the fight and claim I was the one keeping him awake 🤯 It's diabolical the mind games they play, now that I think back on it, it's genius their tactics. If only these people would use their genius for good instead of evil.
My ex would watch RUclips on his phone loud af right next to my ear while I was sleeping on purpose. I started to take sleeping pills so I don't hear it anymore.
Narcissists know what they're doing, and that they're behavior is terrible. That's why they only show their true colors to you (I get the silent treatment, glares, passive aggressive remarks, etc.), but they suddenly light up and start chatting once someone walks into the room. And when I do the same thing back, they storm off, hurt. Jesus, these people definitely cannot eat their same medicine, and it's so annoying!
It’s like you’re their enemy, they are miserable around you complaining but once someone else is around they are the happiest person and loving to them, but still an attitude with you. I kid you not
I’m treating my adult narcissist daughter just like she treats me now she looks lost all the time smh ‼️‼️‼️ I let her know this is the new dynamic of our relationship good luck to her because I’m good ‼️
I made this mistake even down to the smirk when she reacted and that is when I saw the black eyes for the first time,it was terrifying so be careful everyone x
I wouldn't be surprised if people with NPD were created in a factory because they share the same traits when exposed. Although some are better at hiding it (overt and covert behavior).
I mirrored his behaviour by giving him silent treatment and ignoring him It made me realise just how insecure he is with his constant need for approval and validation 😂 It was strangely comforting even if I don't plan on doing this long-term
Thank you for letting us know about these creeps! I just got out of a relationship with one,but now he still try's to contact me,and trick me. It's sad. He cheated,and did everything unimaginable. I'm done. He shows no accountability of anything. Now I am ignoring him.....
If you match anyone's energy, they'll love you or hate you depending on how they're treating you. Even though they don't adhere to it, the Golden Rule applies to everyone, including narcissists. If you wouldn't want it done to you, then don't do it to someone else. If you do, the consequences of your treatment of someone else will come back on you - the originator of the hypocrisy. The pit they dig for someone else is the one they fall into.
I dated a compensatory narcissist for two years. Fight fire with fire. Use the same tactics. It drives them crazy and sometimes, even submit and surrender.
They know that the way they treat you is wrong, but the error in their thinking comes from believing that you will put up with bad treatment in perpetuity.
Hell no, they don't!!! When I got tired of the bullshit and joined in on the shenanigans. She put her phone on silent. Mine went on silent. She future faked me. I would promise her something I was going to do that she wanted and never follow through on it. She lied about where she was all night. I would do it the next night. Eventually, she got tired of it and discarded me. Actually, I asked her to leave first, but she took the lead as she was leaving me. Either way, the desired results were achieved. I felt bad having to act that way towards her, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and burn the whole the thing down.
Yup! He can’t handle the treatment I’m giving him, and acts like a. Baby about it. But I refuse to leave at this point, I’ve been a SAHM for 8 years I home school my kids and I just don’t have the resources to leave right now. So I treat him like he did me for almost 15 years.. and he calls me evil lol I just laugh now in my his face and tell him I’m burning this entire MF down around his ego lol he really don’t get it. I’m like dude it’s obvious you never liked me from the start, so you leave.
When I asked him how he'd feel if I did the same thing to him - long pause - he got furious and accused me of attacking his feelings. They KNOW what they do is wrong, but their self-hatred drives them: it's compulsive. They do not know how to survive without harming other people.
I mirrored him and he called me a covert narcissist. He said I was avoiding and ignoring him. I couldn't say anything to him but he didnt like when I talked to anyone else. Quite maddening the child like behavior you have to deal with. All I asked for was kind consistent and loving communication and quality time. He treated me so awful and I hate that he still is on my mind. Watching these videos help alot.
I mirrored the same quality in mine. I only dated him a few months. Found out he had an ankle tag for DV charges but he managed to spin a narrative that made it look like he was set up. He’s a little nerdy computer scientist with StarWars tattoos and cute as a button so I gave him the benefit of the doubt (whilst also applying for Clare’s Law on the sly) His behaviour got very emotionally manipulative very quickly. He learned fast that I hated being made to feel like I’d done something wrong, so he frequently dipped the mood and acted weird towards me. I would attempt to talk but I was met with silence until I gave up. Then he would act normal again like nothing had happened. The last time I refused to “go back to normal” with him and instead mirrored his weird mood and radio silence back at him and he came to my door uninvited at 1am on a week night and banged on the door and called my phone off the hook for almost an hour. I dread to think what would’ve happened if I’d answered. The next day I messaged saying I needed space and I was met with messages of how horrible I am blah blah blah. The rest of what was left of his mask fell completely off but thankfully he seems to have discarded me. I’ve learned he has a criminal damage charge for breaking his ex’s door in and I’ve also learned she wasn’t the first to experience his behaviour. Be careful! Moving on from these people is HARD but playing their games isn’t worth your life x
@SininenKT yes its a blessing to be discarded as much as it hurts. I My ex waited til I sold my house and then it was easier for him to treat me bad because he knew I didn't have another place to go so he'd just say if I didn't like anything or wasn't happy I knew where the door was or I could get the F out. Took 2 years but finally I'm free from that one. Still have to deal with my baby daddy ex who is a narcissist that sounds like what you were dealing with. He's easily triggered and when that happens thats when he is more unpredictable and unstable which is frightening. That one would pull my hair and kick me when I was "sleeping". Do stuff to my car, neighbors said he shot there dog with a BB gun. They really are wolves in sheep's clothing. Trust no one...even after 20 years you never truly know anyone. Best to be single and live on your own forever. I pray God watches out for us that need it. You hear in the news today all too often of what people with no empathy are capable of. Glad you are out and I pray for us to all be happy optimistic and focused on a better future. 🙏
The idea of "narcissitic fleas" makes a lot of sense. When you start to take on some of their bad behaviors then they will accuse and gaslight you into thinking that you're the narcissist. You're not, you just caught some of their flease and you can cleanse yourself of them when you cut them out of your life.
Yes it is definitely a game to them. They laugh right in your face!!!! This is my second narcissist marriage so I know the game. He doesn't know that I know the game. I just let him talk and give the silent treatment. That works pretty well with Narcs.
This is the first time hear the term, “Narcissistic Fleas.” For the last few weeks I was convinced I was a narcissist too, and beginning to hate myself even more. Now, I see that I can change and “wash” this out of my system. Thank you.
They know how they want to be treated themselves. If somebody doesn't reciprocate kindness, but hates getting their own treatment back, they are toxic.
I did the most horrible things, that the ex-narc did to me, lying, cheating, malipulating.Thing is I do do the stuff he does, I have my backup plans, little does he knows. But that's done and over. Be careful out here, stay safe.
They know exactly what they are doing ! I call them out immediately on it or be the narcissist- narcissist ! They really hate that because they don’t like being the one that is beneath YOU ! It works - I’ve done it . They don’t play with me. I’m always steps ahead of them anyways. The baby example is great !!!
Left my narcissist ex 14 months ago. Why settle for nothing when you can have it all? Move on and look to a brighter future. Stay out of the dark and move into the light.
If you have energy to play that game with a narcissist then you have energy to find yourself someone who isn’t mentally fkd up… don’t play any games… that get back at a narcissist is a suicidal never ending game.
They know how they treat us. They just don't have empathy or introspection to determine it's abusive until they feel it. I just learned from this video about the narcissist fleas.
Yes they have a rules for thee and not for me mentality. If you treat them they same way they get bent out of shape. Then they play the victim if you call them out on their behavior. Just leave them. You will be happier. I am now that I’m not with mine anymore.
Oh my goodness!!!! 💯 facts!! And then say they don't understand why you are doing this to them and that are/haven't done anything wrong to you!! It's so frustrating and draining 😫
I caught FLEAs from my narcissistic ex who also had BPD. I ended up hurting a girl I was talking to extremely badly and in the same ways my ex did to me. I couldn't and still don't recognize that person I became. It was a rough realization and it scared the crap out of me tbh. Clearly I wasn't ready to date yet. Sorry for hurting you, K.
Respect 🙌 That happened w/my first love, they were supposedly hurt by a narcissist ex, tried to use me to get over them, then broke up when i wouldn't have sex after 6 months :/ it's a total bs fest.
Can you guys expand more on what you did to hurt the other person? Did you play mind games and manipulate to try to get attention? Did you stonewall or ghost them? Please share more.
I started treating and talking to him shortly after I figured out what he was. Within a few months he REALLY started devaluing and disguarding me. It helped me to start breaking the trauma bond and disassociating. He also started the smear campaign and intensified the triangulation. I kicked him out 3 weeks ago. Bye, Felicia!
Yes. This is between you and I. Don’t tell anyone. Then she’d remind me how bad I am. Me: ok, let’s find a neutral third party or even trusted friends or family. We’ll both explain our situations and what we’ve both done and I bet you all of my savings that everyone would be disgusted with how you treat me. SILENCE
This part .... I'd say "let's ask a mediator and if the issues stem from me, I am prepared to work on them" and he would say "I do not need a mediator" that's when I knowww he knows he is being a rhymes with runt... I finally let him go & blocked him. 🙏🏾
Boy, you explain it so well. They, for whatever reason, are convinced that they are entitled and justified for doing what they do, and you are not. They're special, and you are too only if you comply with everything they want and serve as a punching ball if needed.
OMG that's one thing answered - why do they sleep-deprive us and keep us awake fighting etc.? I wondered if that was a thing or just a coincidence with my narc-hole ex's. Lee you're great putting yourself out there and being transparent but then as a narc you'd enjoy the attention😉🙏
He's right. When I started mirroring the behaviors, I was told it was abusive. This confirmed for me that he knew exactly what he was doing.
Yep
EXACTLY!!! They're just playing games in every moment of their existence. He even has his buddies convinced he's a genius instead of them just understanding he's mirroring and manipulating them too.
If he knows you abused him that time mirroring him perhaps he doesnt recognise it in himself otherwise why being abusive in the first place ??
@@orianam9835 did you even watch the video?
@@waynepolo6193 😂 great question
If you treat a narcissist the same way they treat you they cry like the little cry babies they are. The bottom line is, they can dish it out but can't take it.
Exactly 💯
True. A big crybaby it’s hilarious. Whoaaa is me.
😆
My mom borrowed money from me. She started acting rude towards me because she knew she wouldn’t pay me back. I asked for my money.. she called me selfish and sent me a picture of her crying
Precisely so.
However, they are damaged children.
Not that it’s an excuse, just helps you to heal if you know that.
Narcissists are always contradicting themselves. They expect perfection from you, but when they mess up, they got all the excuses in the world. Accountability is not in their vocabulary.
🎯🎯🎯
Yes I agree it's so sad too.
No matter what I do it's never enough.
I have health problems stage 3 curoseis and he holds that over my head
I'm at the point where I just don't know what to do or how to respond
The best example are the American's government's leadership officials and those Congressional members in DC..Period..
@@pennydezsi6073I got screamed at and abused for being sick, OF COURSE I HATED YOU STEPH!! WE COULDN'T F#U$X! I'm like...s.m.h. and I have given three years to clean it up too. Been well for years now, and because he could when I was sick😢 It will never be for me, nevwr was anyways, even when I could have intimacy 😢saddens me
Exactly 👍
From experience, with narcissists, everything .... EVERYTHING is a waste of time except walking away. All you need to do is to RUN AWAY. Be brave, choose yourself. ❤
♥️
Im just starting to realize this😫
TRUTH
Yes because they dont get fed up but you will especially if being mean and deceitful is not in your dna.
Love that ❤❤❤
THAT'S WHY THEY ARE ALWAYS SMIRKING, BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
Oh! That smirk. 🤬
That smirk is the worst!!! Married to one right now and I realize that tell tale smirk 😏!!!!! Grr 😠!
@@terricreamer5315 me to. It takes every ounce of strength not to wipe it off their faces. If they wind you up
and you get angry that smirk ever so briefly crosses their faces. If you’re looking at them you’ll catch it. It’s brief but it’s there. Then they start telling you how YOU’RE acting like a mad person. All you can do to preserve your sanity, is if absolutely necessary respond. Do you’d utmost NEVER to react. They want the reaction.
@@maggie6 exactly! My mother in law would call it his “shit eating grin”. And yes, it takes a lot not to beat his ass and end up in jail. He loves to call me “angry”.
@@terricreamer5315 oh I know I know!
Almost 40 years into this. More of it without the internet than with.
We didn’t have access to knowledge and learning like people do now. I’ve only known for a few short years what was going on with him. And I only started to learn after he’d emotionally and mentally abused me so much my immune system collapsed. I was so sick for 5 years all I could do was worry about my health (and do what I could to shut him up along the way of course). My doctor referred me to a psychologist and for the last few years I’ve slowly learnt how to manage this.
The best way is to get the hell out and never look back of course. But for many of us and for many different reasons, that’s not always possible. So, we have to find a way to make ourselves important to us! Important enough to realise these people have an incurable mental illness and nothing we do will cure them. So even while living under the same roof. We have to cut them loose to deal with themselves while we look after ourselves and get better. We have to realise we are important too. And after years of being brainwashed to serve these people and do everything to please them. It’s not easy to train ourselves into believing we are decent, human beings who deserve better. Taking their abuse and desperately trying to please them has been so deeply ingrained into us, it is hard to see ourselves as worthy of anything. But we are. They are sick, miserable individuals and it’s true. Misery loves company.
We deserve better and we need to achieve that for ourselves. Whether we are able to get our. Or if for whatever reason we can’t. But we can LOOK AFTER OURSELVES AND PUT OUR NEEDS FIRST.
Confirmed, they HATE being treated with the same insulting and utter disrespect that they treat you with 😂
Nothing matters until it negatively affects THEM.
Or when it damages their false reputation. They hate exposure.
Yes! They all self centered.
Absolutely True 👍
Well put.
💯
What's odd to me, is they'll talk about how their parent abused them. But then, they become the abuser. 🤨
Yep
Right!?!? They know abuse but still abuse, smh....
Intentionally hurting others should never be tolerated. We should be better that our crazy exes
@@MentalHealness Just like you said before, it is trauma being passed down to the next generation. "That will never end until someone puts a stop to it."
BINGO
“Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.”
Proverbs 22:24-25
Wow, this is the scripture that God gave me when I was in a relationship with a Narcissist. I just reflected on this scripture the other day. God speaks to us, we just have to be aware.
You are correct my husband would leave out living room and come into our bedroom and turn on the TV just to disturb my peace. Then he git Mas bc I started sleeping in the other room. Then he started to act up in front of my children and tell them that all your moma do is fuss. At the end of our relationship my husband started recording me and got mad bc I wouldn't listen to the recording. He discarded me bc I started treating him like he was treating me.
Wow. Thanks for this reminder!
❤
Not gonna lie
This is happening to me
When a narcissist is treated the same way they treat others, it’s probably the fastest way to rid of one. Unmasking one is their worst nightmare.
Absolutely the way I got out of that relationship
Agreed, because deep down they know how fucked up they are.
THIS IS SO TRUE. I GOT RID OF HIM QUICKLY WHEN I STARTED ACTING LIKE HIM.
@@eml5807 they tend to buckle when given a dose of their own toxic medicine.
Absoluetlly...it's the only way I got mine to stop always trying wiggle back in even after 4 yrs I left after 9.
Ive tried mirroring the narcs behaviors and was left feeling completely drained- totally not my character to mistreat others. I now give the narc the silent treatment, treat them as the irrelevant bastard they are and find that to be quite effective. Narcs can't stand being ignored.
True
So true am dealing with it right now smh
Be nice, but evasive. Makes them even madder than ignoring them does.
@@marcuslong9761 Being nice is an understatement. When someone's mission is to upset you for the heck of it, the average persons reaction definitely will not be kindness in any form for the victim's likely to be mistreated even more.
@@haitiqueen0119 Sure it would, if they dont care.
I always treat people how they treat me. People call me petty for it but I call it personal justice
I agree.
Me too.
Agreed but this man I didn't do that. Not til the night I walked away. He didn't see it coming. Never felt so good. 💪🏾💪🏾😍
The Bible warns against rendering evil for evil. It also says “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” says the Lord. I’ve come to the place of learning to trust I could never make an evil person pay the way God can. When I don’t put them
In God’s hands for his justice, judgement and vengeance to play out, I actually sin and do short change myself. Give it over. Free yourself. God knows best.
I left my husband for this very reason. I mirrored everything back to him except the isolation and cheating. Now I’m on his podcast as the narcissist and HE suffered narcissistic abuse. All I could do was laugh because I was warned by my therapist.
Disgusting behavior from your ex husband!🧿
Haha this is why I am always skeptical of men who claim abuse. Im sorry no
I have to wonder how many people on youtube and podcasts are actual narcissists playing the victim and getting supply from all the people they fool
The fact that he put you on his podcast is proof he was the narc in yalls relationship
@@DawnnAyeshaVance She was nice & didn't tell us his podcast name. She's definitely the better person.
They twist it and turn it all back on you....no matter what it's always you that's screwed up.
😩
They're downright crazy. It's scary how good they hide it.
So true
He was the first guy I was ALL in and didn't play games with. Didn't show him the crazy side teaching him lessons for talking shitty to me so I walked away when he least expected and its been a week and 6 days! 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾😍💛
@@NatzTalk keep strong
They never want people to know how badly they abused and hurt you! They just want to blame you for why they abused you. It’s messed up. Move on. ❤yourself!
Where applicable, you take them to court. Just “moving on” does not work. Natural Justice sometimes can be had before the courts of law.
@@Trini2dbone868 I agree. However when they scheme to take all the money, destroy all your support, what option does one have? If it were up to me My abusers would be held accountable! Money 💰 = power! Sometimes you just move on and be grateful you made it out ALIVE
The weakness of a narc is their insecurity and need for supply. They need constant attention, so make them find it elsewhere.
😞
They also fear a tarnished reputation yet won't hesitate to slander others who can see through their transparent actions.
Bam!
That’s why they have animals like dogs to manipulate them
The one I’m currently involved with gets his attention by spending hours on social media. He claims it’s for our business. 🤪
I remember trying to "get him to understand" that if he treated me better it would be to HIS benefit. Under his breath he mumbles, "Then I'd have to work at it." In that moment I realized, he knew EXACTLY what he was doing 👹
Oh wow
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
But aren’t they having to work when it comes to being so manipulative? My God, it’s all just so exhausting.
Oh yah, I’ve tried so hard to get them to communicate with their family and even having a TIA in the process-this actually worked. But all the explaining I’d done about their behaviors toward me have just fallen on deaf ears and been experienced by them as criticism which it was
What an amazing realization!
You can never win with a narcissist....it just gets worse !!!
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Same with blacks they just want more and more free shit
Same with blks they just want more and more free handouts from the white man
Well… in my situation.. I took the kids, got the heck outta dodge, moved states, blocked his ass.
To hell with child support, child support meant visitation.. NO! You don’t get to mentally fucq with these angels! We’re good! I’ll call that a fucqing win!! 💪🏾
This actually is not true. God can and will help you win over such a person/organization run by such persons. In my case they thought they could fire me and that would be the end of being held accountable but, now that they have, I get to take them to court. I get money. THAT is a butt hurt they will NEVER forget …and so I won. Simple. Funny thing is I wanted to leave, was just holding on till I got something else. So in essence, they did me a favour. If I had resigned, I would have just left with a final one month salary and would have been left out in the cold afterwards. They fire me, I get way more than a months salary to support myself 😂😂😂
I said to my narcissist boyfriend years ago that I was going to treat him just the way he treated me...he said after one day "I don't like it at all". Then we broke up.
😆
😂
Wowwwww!
I said to the Covert narcissist husband "how would you like it if I treated you just like you treat me?" He gave me a disgusted look. That sure told me he wasn't a fair man.
@@ND-or5so of course they don't want you to treat them the same way because they have a sense of entitlement and superiority they see you with disgust and themselves as Superior king and queen
This is part of the double standard with the narcissist. What is ok for them to do is absolutely NOT ok for you. And the justification they come up with is completely off base.
Mine always said "You're so angry ALL the time!" when he treats me with disrespect. If he gets mad at me its logical, when I get mad at him, I'm emotional and a c*nt. The projection and hypocrisy is real with these morons.
Absolutely!
That's exactly the same way my girlfriend is.
This is fact! Double standards all day long. Rules don't apply to them; only you.
Absolutely true. What really bothers me the most is the fact, that these double standards are often so damn obvious, but nobody actually percieves them. Even if you try to argue, they won't get it. It's so frustrating.
I am a passive person and I HATE confrontation. Every now and then, I can't be silent anymore! I blow up and yell, curse and belittle him at the top of my voice. The next thing you know, he's nice and polite and begin to be kind for three days, it's exhausting and humiliating. I want out! Going to a Therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck...
Oh like having a weeks of busy work and a reinforced fence don't visit for a moment, doesn't sound passive
Be positive sista and PLEASE get the therapy. I'm divorcing my narcissists wife and started to give her a taste of her own medicine (which is truly against my nature) and she can't handle it. The therapist will definitely help with reclaiming your confidence and self respect. Stay safe my sista you got this
If possible ghost him
They don't stop until they destroy all that is worthy to u
Your reacting to his abuse.we all have a breaking point. It's not you ,it's his shit he's putting you through
Narcissists NEED doormats. Once they realize you won't stand for it, you're disposable to them. In their minds, they MUST have they're way with peoole, or else!!!
I will do that exactly I will not allow anyone to make me a doormat thank u.I must instil same behaviour to my kids, I use to allow these people to walk over I don't want to pass that to my kids
So much truth here!!!
Unfortunately, most men nowadays are extremely narcissistic. They prey on weak women because they are weak themselves. I've been single for 7 years. It gets lonely at times, but I'm at peace. Men don't like it when I speak up for myself and don't back down. Oh well. I guess I'll be single for another 7 years. Because I refuse to become weak just to satisfy a man!!
Very true! As soon as you stop giving them their narcissistic supply, or they even get a HINT that you mayyy take it away, they’ll be looking for their next fix! Don’t worry, that one won’t last long either!
@@aspiemom6044 how do u knw?seems theyl treat ze new supply better 2prove tht they r gud n zer ex was ze problem..
True story! The best way to find out if a someone is a narcissist if you’re having suspicions when you first meet them, mirror them. Do whatever it is they’re doing that is making you suspicious of them, back to them. See what they do. You’ll know right away. No narcissist starts out right away doing anything overly exposing themselves as a narcissist. At least not when they’re trying to make their move on you. So the red flags are typically pretty subtle. Like for an example, you text them and then they don’t text you back, for an extended period of time. See what happens when they text you and you don’t text them right back. Do they freak out? Or do they just completely ghost you and never contact you again? If they do either of these things, you were right. It’s a great trick To save you from a lot of heartache. I use it all the time.
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you are a very handsome articulate man...will you ever give love another shot again or no??? Do you think your therapy can save your love life
They can never take what they dish out. A narcissist will ALWAYS play victim when put on the spot and even pretend to forget what they've done. Selective amnesia.
Right I was seeing if he was gone talk to me on Valentine's day I didn't call him days before I waited till that day came and he came to my house knock on my door and was like why u ain't call me and I said cause u don't answer then he smack his lips but I'm taking a break from him right now
@MentalHealness...
When I suspect someone is a narc, I immediately pull out the "treat them like they treat us." I get crazy looks, speechlessness, confusion, a little whining....then they slink away on their own because they know they can't "play" with you.
When I found out that my ex friend is covert narcissist, I decided to take back my power. I mirrored back the devaluing stage. She discarded me. I went no contact. I blocked her and all her people. My life is getting better every day.
Yes narcissists are fully aware of what they do.
The evidence is in the fact that they have different behavioral repertoires. Notice how they act one way around people they can get supply from and another way around their targets. They have lots of internal shame, insecurities, and anger. Instead of dealing with it in healthy ways they turn around and put it back on you. That's why you have to get away from them.
Doing exactly how you said it! Finding my way back to my train station and getting in a different train!!! I love being able to have myself back again!!! Never had anxiety, depression, or straight physical violence! I am now chill in my own home and literally still getting breadcrumbs, hovering, love bombing! But NOPE … not today!😁😁😁Feeling myself again and never going back!!
What goes around comes around. Treat people the way that you wanna be treated.
Tanya Copeland I usually treat people with kindness and respect, yet still get picked on and bullied by some cleaners (I used to be one so have empathy for them), security guards and staff at what used to be my favourite coffee shop, which means that it clearly doesn't always work. 😥
@@cyndigooch1162 And those are the ones God told us to "turn away from"....2 Timothy 3:5
Except for a narcissist...they are only capable of exploiting and using you.
I hope Karma comes quick for him!!!!
What about narcissists Christian’s ?
"Abuse is about power and control," so true.
My husband knows that he is toxic. He thinks it’s my job to love him through it because it’s not his fault. He has childhood trauma so I should just give up the rest of my life to wait for him to be kind and honest. I’m on my way out. I made public what was in secret. I’m not hiding in the dark anymore. He’s gone silent, and it’s probably for the best.
Yep
Going thru this exact thing!
@@annaakatsa8182I’m so glad you escaped 😊 I hope you have some supportive friends around to keep you strong. Lee’s channel us good to listen to. Also Dr Ramani is a good channel on narcissism as well. God bless 🙏🏽💖
Great job in standing up for yourself.
@Anna Akatsa I'm happy for you. Stay strong. I'm almost there
I treated him the same way for a month. He left and he filled for divorce. I felt like things might go smoother if he got to tell people, “I filed”. I just needed him gone. Nearly 15 years of freedom!!!
Wish you was my friend shoot I need that divorce like 12 years ago congratulations to you
My ex did the same, said we are done, when i did the same thing he did to me, he left....
When I discovered my narc husband was cheating on me (trying to make me jealous for extra control) - I drove to work the next day my heart singing with joy I’m FREE! - infidelity was my deal breaker
When I treat the narcissist the same way he treats me (he makes sudden startling noises everytime he walks by my door), He jumps into a fit of rage. Then I backed off and said if you don’t like the way I treat you then why did you treat me that way? He goes silent and walks out. Basically if you treat them the same way they treat you, they run away like cowards.
Your Right! The abuse happens when no one is around.
💯
Always.
Yep and when people are around they instantly transform into a wonderful person......😉
Yes, always
you aint lying, i started lying, talking to other men, being deceitful, and going places secretly then acting nonchalant when he asked where i had been. dey dont like that
🎯
I found it funniest when I told him about a year ago I was going to cheat on him if he didn’t step his game up, he couldn’t handle it lol. It was payback for when I was pregnant and on full bed rest, when he told me if I couldn’t satisfy his sexual needs he was going to be forced to go somewhere else lol
Oh I'm sure he got unhinged and played victim like you cheated from the start and they did nothing wrong
This is my thing. There’s no way a person doesn’t know that they’re lying and manipulating. They will actually say things that they do to other people or to you in the past to confirm it. They just don’t care or see anything wrong with it because that behavior benefits them.
My Narc does this. They have told me that they like pushing my buttons, they like to get a reaction, and they will repetitively say hurtful things that we have discussed. They have been told that this behavior is abusing, and they continue.
The best thing to do is to go no contact and forget they exist - null and void. Basic and extremely easy to do!
How effective is going NO Contact???
Been a year but he won't let go. He just doesn't stop.
I believe, a month and a half into the "relationship" I asked myself:"Does he even have a conscience?" Literally, I would tell him to his face what he's doing and he stood there like a brick wall...no emotion...
This is the best way to get them to leave you alone
I did this to my husband and conveniently had amnesia about all the horrible things he said to me. Now I am abusive!🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh he has no idea how much anger I have stored up just for him.
Big hug 🤗 keep your peace ✌🏻 Goodluck .
😂
Get out, don't hurt him and end up in jail
I feel you on that after holding all the sad and frustration inside it feels like you can explode.
@@chelseabrinkley2040 Try doing it for 30yrs. Been preparing since last year to get my set up and me and my daughter out of here and it's almost that time!
100%. I stopped defending myself against his gas lighting. I started ignoring him and being inconsiderate of him like he had done me. I started a smear campaign with my family even though I had not previously told about how bad he was. And a few weeks ago he asked me for a divorce because he did not like being treated the way he's been treating me for the last 18 freaking years
Hopefully my husband will ask for a divorce then. I’ve asked 3 times now and he’s threatened, well, promised to keep me in court for years as he’d rather see the lawyers get everything than see me get anything.
That he absolutely will do no matter how much he loses out of it. His goal is to make sure I lose everything and in my seventies I don’t have years to waste on his narcissistic battles in court.
Please help, how do you deal with a narcissists' smear campaign? Currently going through this now at my job.
@@fallenlotus9572 Me too, also their menagerie of flying monkeys they've incorporated into their self seeking slanderous justifications.
@@fallenlotus9572 I've noticed that people always swallow the narc's smear campaign like frkkn CANDY. But when the true victim (scapegoat) tells them the TRUTH, they REFUSE to believe it!!! Even if you somehow get to them before the narc does!!! Someone please explain this BIZARRE anomaly to me!!! They automatically believe the narc's lies as truth but REJECT THE TRUTH EVERY TIME.
I started ignoring him like he ignored me. He wanted me to leave & was relieved when I did. 😢
Just run 🏃🏾♀️ and don’t turn back!
🏃🏼♂️🏃🏼♂️
The ONLY way to win with a narcissist 🏃🏻♀️
When I matched his energy he asked me if I was trying to get revenge but couldn't answer why I would want revenge lol he didn't realize it but he gave me closure in that moment. He had acknowledged how badly he treated me by asking if I as trying to get revenge. It also meant it was working. Makes moving on easier. I didn't even cry.
Am on that process now it’s just time to go men to cock of a new job I help them get
Those serpents do trip over their own tongues occasionally....😅
This is 200% true! My ex husband called me a Narcissist when I started standing up to him and holding him accountable. That was the beginning of the end of our marriage.
😐👏🏽
This is so sick!
Same!!!
They know exactly what they’re doing…..they will tell everyone around them that you are the toxic one…..when you get a chance to tell their inner circle what they are doing…..just do it, no mercy. 👍✊
🙏🏽
The flying monkeys will just take his side no matter what. So it's kind of a waste of time.
Sadly I tried telling them & I wasn’t believed because his public persona is stellar.
So I ended up on a first date with a narcissist who was so incredibly similar to my narcissist ex - it was uncanny. I could sense his narcissism within the first five minutes (definitely the bitter and covert type - no charm whatsoever) as he invalidated and criticized things I said, while also wanting me to praise him for his career as a high-level engineer. It was toxic from the word go. Once you go through intense narcissistic abuse, you can spot it so quickly. Although the most obvious example was when we were walking to the place and he refused to slow down and walk next to me. He kept insisting that he's just a fast walker and that he doesn't like how slow people are. Just incredibly rude behavior, but to him it was probably a form of dominance/control. I should have ended the date right there. Anyways, in the moment I did what I never did with my ex - I refused to give him the benefit of the doubt. I matched his energy and was assertive back. I didn't accept his criticisms. I could tell he was incredibly frustrated that he couldn't maintain the power in the situation and that I wasn't impressed by him.
Omg yes! I didn’t make it to date 1. Knew he wasn’t it after a few phone conversations.
🙏🏽
Well done.
The guy I was dealing with is a covert narc but very charming and funny.
I’d immediately leave but I’m glad u knew and got a kick out of it I’d leave because once he’s on to you knowing what he is which is a narcissist he was going to hide it better and it sucks for the next person but hey at least you got a kick out of it and gave him the same energy back I’d leave to shock them and get a reaction out of him without engaging these ppl are demons 🫣
My Ex once told me "When I do it I don't mean it, It's not on purpose. But when you do it, it's vindictive. So that makes you worse." Lol the ridiculous arguments we had when I look back now. Man...
What?! 😡😡😡
He said the same thing to me too🤦♀️
I’ve heard the same exact nonsense.
Translated: I’m not self aware and make no effort to be…so when I’m an a**hole, it’s ok.
YUP!!!!! He’s like but I’m not aware and doing it on purpose so it’s not evil but you doing it on purpose is evil etc. you being “ unaware” of what your doing is irrelevant at this point, I been telling you 10 years what your doing is hurting me, your aware of it your ego just won’t allow you to admit it to me or yourself
He is so on POINT damn I never understood what a narcissist was like until I dated 1 it is a horrible experience it’s so frustrating & they are so full of 💩
I spent an hour or so once responding to my ex's texts with only his own old texts copy/pasted back to him. He didn't realize what I was doing and accused me of being abusive and mentally unhinged. The funny thing is I knew he wouldn't realize what I was doing , so I didn't send certain texts of his back, because they were TOO mean. He had no problem saying it to me, I couldn't send his own super mean texts back to him
this is absolute gold - you must've been cracking up when he whined about abuse xD
That is diabolical genius level petty. ❤ it.
Just proves the point, that narcs can dish it out, but definitely can't take it...not even when it's their own 'ish'.
@E C I was lol. I was extra amused when he started mocking what I was saying.. because it was just "so ridiculous and over the top"
@Rosenpoe I'm not a spiteful person, but I am petty as hell lol. To be honest that was the most I enjoyed talking to him in a year . 10/10, would recommend 👌
They Absolutely know what they are doing!!! 100% and if you treat them the way they treat you they will flip out and most likely become violent!
They're always violent eventually
I always been someone that said “two wrongs dont make a right” but after telling him calmly with words and it didnt work, with tears and it didnt work, with arguments and it didnt work, They still continued to lie and betray, I decided to finally give him a taste of his own medicine for the 1st time ever and what I did wasnt even the exact same thing he was doing but I knew it would hurt him and give him a idea of wtf he was making me feel so I proceeded with the plan and he went crazyy. It hurt his ego soo muchhh. It became topic of my life lol. He always mentioned it during every argument and he didnt want to be with me.
When they know you a rider they take advantage of it and take u for granted but if u ever attempt on giving them a small taste of their own medicine its a deal breaker for them.
Silly mindset they have.
If you begin acting like them, that’s another level of control they’ve gained over you. They further accomplish their mission. Be true to yourself and be you!
Yes 🙌
Facts!!! The best thing to do is block them and proceed to do you. Be happy and safe!!!
Or you can give them a taste of their own medicine then leave🤷♀️😂😂 I prefer this method.
@@cccpdraka102 that's what I did. 😉
@@honeybunn_deluxxe Lmaoo nice!!!😂😂❤
All of this happened to me. I lost myself trying to match them... And then I had to fight my way back to me and fight to forgive myself. This one is so deep and on point as always
That's exactly what happened to me. I turned into an angry, violent, raging lunatic..then depressed then isolated now I'm happy again 😊 and I'm no contact after 6 years in and 6 years out
Congrats of getting back to you🎉🎉🎉 That is truly the best revenge.
@@Kianarevision thank you so much! I'm glued to Watchung Blueface and Chrisean Rock because they are the epitome of narcissistic abuse. From top to bottom, through and through!!! And I hope she has the same breakthrough!
Honestly you don't have to treat them the same they treat you, they want you to snap so they can tell you are crazy. They want to put you on their level and beat you up with their experience. You don't have to fight with anything, live them in their crazy and go on with your life
@MissyChannel-hf2le congratulations my wife is a deep narcissist I started matching her but on steroids hers came on so subtle till it crept on my with destruction. But I broke her ass with her real deep crying made her really acknowledge all her ungodliness and evil doings bad behavior how it affected our kids . The victim mentality didn't work trying to blow it off didn't work I smeared it in her face and keep my foot up her ass because every time I ease up she starts to revert . But I'm so worn out because it's not who I am and I'm not the same person all this anger and violence inside me I need a real flea bath. All the constant lying she would say I put that on my momma (R.I.P) be lying on her dead momma sabotage was her thing for revenge if she didn't get her way . I really see myself getting a divorce and file for custody of my kids because my whole family has been affected so traumaticly by her the oldest has a darkness in them 😢😢
Right… they get real sensitive and it doesn’t sit well with them. The ego and pride can’t tolerate it
This is true! My ex-narc would get so mad if I started talking crazy to him just like he would do me. Then, he'd tell me that I had mental issues and needed to go talk to someone!😐🤦🏾♀️🤣 If he'd called me names like, "Bs, ho3es, etc., I would come back and call him the exact same names, and then he'd go sit down somewhere. When I started giving him a taste of his own medicine, he didn't like it. If he would ignore me when I tried to talk to him, I would flip the script and do him the same way. He'd blow up and get mad because I was ignoring him, but it was okay for him to ignore me. As the saying goes, "It's no fun when the rabbit has the gun!" 🤣🤣🤣
Yes going through that now and his mother and father don’t even hold his behind accountable and I always take the blame he was sweet and nice at first but these two years of my life wasted my baby died him not his family didn’t care they threaten to call cops and record me and all and also they are white and they are racist I was to stupid and blinded cuz I was too worried of having a place to stay and now Im making home help me get my drivers license a car ID and a job so I can leave all of them behind 😂😂😂 and they all call me crazy for being tooo emotional when I literally just went through hell and almost died having her sons baby 😂😂😂
Bingo!!!!
Mines would gas light me and I reply to him just like he do to me and he would say I'm trying to be the man in the relationship and that I have a bad attitude.
@Dem10 I had a bad attitude as well according to my ex-narc. 🤣 However, I ran into him last weekend at the wake/funeral of his aunt and he "acted" like he was sooo happy to see me. 🙄🤦🏾♀️ I saw right through him and didn't say much to him because the questions he asked were the same ones he gaslighted me with when we first started talking. He then low-key tried to whisper, "I need to talk to you," when he saw me. I just looked at him. I didn't acknowledge and say, "Yeah, okay." I was actually on my way out the door when someone else I hadn't seen in a long time stopped me and I started talking to them. Once I finished talking to them and saw that my ex-narc was distracted with someone else, I ducked out and went home. I've told him several times via email that he doesn't have anything to talk to me about. So, I guess I needed to show him because seeing it in black and white in an email apparently fell on blind eyes!🤨😫🤣 The couple of family members of his that I saw at the wake, I told them that I was trying to get out of there before he started talking to me and they laughed because they already know I don't want anything else to do with him and know I deserved better than him.
My ex did the same...are all the same?
After being mistreated horrible by them I now don't give a f***K how they take it, when you had enough you don't care anymore.
🫠
Yep
They are great at masking their abuse and then becoming the victim! Just don't even bother!
I have a slightly different take on this. In my case, my covert narcissist wife seemed to only settle down when she got the anger reaction out of me she wanted. She would push buttons, make accusations, start drama, say horrible things, anything to make me react. And then when I did she would be like, "why are you overreacting"? Then she'd be nice. She would seem truly happy that she was able to prove in her mind that I was the unstable one trying to cause problems over nothing. What they want is to put their toxic personality traits on to you and try to convince everybody else around that your positive traits are actually theirs.
BINGO!! This is exactly what they do. It is a spiritual form of identity theft. The psychopaths ruling over us today are doing the same thing and are of the same corrupted seedline....(Cain/Esau). See Revelation 2:9 and 3:9 for a description of these imposters and who they are pretending to be......
That shit is crazy and I went thru the exact same shit,…
Spot on
It took me until adulthood to connect the dots on my covert narc mom's behavior. Thought she was just moody, stubborn, gossipy, controlling, superficial (e.g., obsession with money and people's finances), and missing something upstairs by making sweeping assumptions and being a know-it-all. It wasn't until she manipulatively lied to my face and made ludicrous accusations that I realized that there's something very wrong with her. Now I completely Grey Rock so she can't weaponize any personal information.
Omfg you described my girlfriend
They hate it alot. I did it and that thing threw a fit. It felt good
😆
He's still persuing me. I blocked him on all social media platforms. Now he's going fru ppl to find me.smh
"That thing"😂
Not,"that thing"🤣😂🤭
This is true. I literally act like him now in some ways. He discarded me about 2 weeks ago & I've noticed that I have picked up some of his toxic traits. I feel like him and I switched places. It's very strange.
the longer you are away the more you can heal
Same I been away from him for 2 months and I have been toxic ... But also my eyes are open now and I feel free.
Its true. I started acting like that not good. But i found the courage to tell him what he was really like. He listened then started abuse. I discarded and deleted. Weeks now and nothing.
I dont think he will come back now. I know too much not a good supply any more.
@@barbaraseccombe2421 mine can leave for years. HE COMES BACK SOON AS SOMEONE SAY MY NAME 😂😂
@@barbaraseccombe2421it’s true we all end up at some point lowering ourselves down to their level and give them back some of what they been doing to us and others for years. We just have to be careful and maintain self awareness and once we get rid of the Narc once and for all that’s when we need to work on ourselves and work on being better people.
My NARC was blindsided and now calls me evil. He has no idea I was just giving him a taste of his own medicine. I wish I hadn’t now because he says “you do the same thing.” You can’t win.
😆
"Says"? Hope that doesn't mean you're still with him
Same I treated him like he did me, he said you are evil bhahahaha and I smirked he
I hope you're able to someday get yourself away from the situation you're in. The best thing we can give our children is a happy home; the second best thing we can give them is the freedom from an unhappy home.
This is my husbands favorite phrase lately.... He loves saying " I just give what I get " or ”what About how you talk to me? " or after he's called me derogatory names like 50 times I start calling him names back or even once and he says "see? It's ok for you to call me names but I'm not supposed to call you names! ” It's the most frustrating and horrible treatment I've ever even witnessed much less had to live through! And I'm so over it! I used to get hurt and still in the back of my heart hoped he would change... Now I literally can't stand hearing his voice or his lies. I can't wait til I'm gone! The hate is real but I will heal! He will always be miserable and everyone will see his true colors! Especially since he won't have me or my kid as the supply he's used to around to take the heat anymore! Good luck to the next poor soul that falls for his bs!
I've mirrored back the ex-narcissist's behaviors such as silent treatment and triangulation towards him... And after a little while I left him after I knew what I'm dealing with... Best decision I've ever made in my whole life... Narc free since two years... Thank you for your videos...
Exactly. Going away was The best thing I did in my life so far (except of giving birth to my children)! 🏆💪
I asked my ex boyfriend if he was a narcissist, and this is what he did. First, he stopped talking and looked down for a brief moment . Then he looked up at me with a slight smile and said, “ Maybe I am and maybe I’m not.” The way he looked at me with that smile answered my questioned.
I told an ex narc once that I was putting in the same effort that he gave me. He said, "and you don't think that's manipulation?" I was like, "Uh. No. I'm matching your energy." 🤷🏼♀️ but you know, only manipulation if I do it. 😒
😆
😂
When I told my ex Narc the same way I tolerate his BS that he has no right to say nothing when he gets the same treatment from me.
He got upset and said he’s not “down” with my games. That life’s too short for the issues😆🙄
@@Missybella92227 yeah one said to me “i don’t play games”
@@mweusimrembo890
Right!!
The level of their hypocrisy is beyond measure. He got livid when I also told him that his mask comes off behind closed doors.
As soon as I talked down to him he hated it. I continued and we broke up. He started going out posting him with different girls. I finally posted me with a guy,he had the nerve to say I proved him right. This was AFTER we have broken up. They just want to play mind games
When I have matched my partners narcissistic behaviors as a survival mechanism they always get crazier and crazier to where I can't even keep up with how wicked they get. Also I feel incredibly drained and full of guilt. I can't even comprehend how they can behave like this day in and day out and never feel bad. Never ever apologize or take accountability. I feel like I use to constantly apologize just to bring some kind of peace back in the home cause I feel like I can't breathe like I'm dying inside.
My ex would talk to me knowing my eyes are closed and I'm falling asleep. And I'd have to open my eyes and respond. So he wouldn't go in a rage. Keeping me up at night on purpose.
Ctfu... this was me this morning. I start sleeping in the living room n he comes in with his loud ass phone tryna show me some reels knowing I'm sleepy as fuck. Then I just started laughing hysterically out loud and then he was lost n said oh u was dreaming bout that other ninja... I politely said YES God told me the man sitting next to u is NOT the 1... he finally got up and I was able to rest... bofl
@@shakarahshakarah6902 🤣🤣🤣 Nice
My First narcissistic ex of 8yrs would keep me awake during arguments that he started over nothing, then blame me for the fight and claim I was the one keeping him awake 🤯 It's diabolical the mind games they play, now that I think back on it, it's genius their tactics. If only these people would use their genius for good instead of evil.
My ex would watch RUclips on his phone loud af right next to my ear while I was sleeping on purpose. I started to take sleeping pills so I don't hear it anymore.
Yup! Same n then turn that bright ass light on 😏
Narcissists know what they're doing, and that they're behavior is terrible. That's why they only show their true colors to you (I get the silent treatment, glares, passive aggressive remarks, etc.), but they suddenly light up and start chatting once someone walks into the room. And when I do the same thing back, they storm off, hurt. Jesus, these people definitely cannot eat their same medicine, and it's so annoying!
It’s like you’re their enemy, they are miserable around you complaining but once someone else is around they are the happiest person and loving to them, but still an attitude with you. I kid you not
I’m treating my adult narcissist daughter just like she treats me now she looks lost all the time smh ‼️‼️‼️ I let her know this is the new dynamic of our relationship good luck to her because I’m good ‼️
🙏🏽
I made this mistake even down to the smirk when she reacted and that is when I saw the black eyes for the first time,it was terrifying so be careful everyone x
I have seen those black eyes it’s like they have been taken over by a demon, yes very scary.
Man its the black eyes so shocking
I wouldn't be surprised if people with NPD were created in a factory because they share the same traits when exposed. Although some are better at hiding it (overt and covert behavior).
SEEN THIS ON MY EX TOO! VERY SCARY
I've seen those pitch black eyes too!
I mirrored his behaviour by giving him silent treatment and ignoring him It made me realise just how insecure he is with his constant need for approval and validation 😂 It was strangely comforting even if I don't plan on doing this long-term
Thank you for letting us know about these creeps! I just got out of a relationship with one,but now he still try's to contact me,and trick me. It's sad. He cheated,and did everything unimaginable. I'm done. He shows no accountability of anything. Now I am ignoring him.....
If you match anyone's energy, they'll love you or hate you depending on how they're treating you. Even though they don't adhere to it, the Golden Rule applies to everyone, including narcissists. If you wouldn't want it done to you, then don't do it to someone else. If you do, the consequences of your treatment of someone else will come back on you - the originator of the hypocrisy. The pit they dig for someone else is the one they fall into.
Yes yes yes I’m a living with all narcs and they make me seem crazy but it’s my fault for even trying 😂😂😂😂😂 even my own family are narcissists
I dated a compensatory narcissist for two years. Fight fire with fire. Use the same tactics. It drives them crazy and sometimes, even submit and surrender.
For real for real.
They know because they don't treat everyone like that. In fact they treat most people opposite. That's the trick with gaslighting.
💯💯
They know that the way they treat you is wrong, but the error in their thinking comes from believing that you will put up with bad treatment in perpetuity.
💯
Definitely right, best thing in the situation is to leave instead of becoming a version of yourself you don’t like.
I’m a Gemini so my level of pettiness is unmatched. I take pride in joy in treating narcissists the same way they treat me 😬😬😬
You and I both! I’m dealing with this now by giving her the silent treatment and screw facing her when I catch her staring… it irks her lol
I am Gemini Rising Aquarius Sun Sagittarius Moon....I get Petty AF!!!😂😂
Hell no, they don't!!!
When I got tired of the bullshit and joined in on the shenanigans. She put her phone on silent. Mine went on silent. She future faked me. I would promise her something I was going to do that she wanted and never follow through on it.
She lied about where she was all night. I would do it the next night. Eventually, she got tired of it and discarded me. Actually, I asked her to leave first, but she took the lead as she was leaving me. Either way, the desired results were achieved.
I felt bad having to act that way towards her, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and burn the whole the thing down.
Yup! He can’t handle the treatment I’m giving him, and acts like a. Baby about it. But I refuse to leave at this point, I’ve been a SAHM for 8 years I home school my kids and I just don’t have the resources to leave right now. So I treat him like he did me for almost 15 years.. and he calls me evil lol I just laugh now in my his face and tell him I’m burning this entire MF down around his ego lol he really don’t get it. I’m like dude it’s obvious you never liked me from the start, so you leave.
Hell yeah screw their feelings, they are truly draining and soulless
When I asked him how he'd feel if I did the same thing to him - long pause - he got furious and accused me of attacking his feelings.
They KNOW what they do is wrong, but their self-hatred drives them: it's compulsive. They do not know how to survive without harming other people.
I mirrored him and he called me a covert narcissist. He said I was avoiding and ignoring him. I couldn't say anything to him but he didnt like when I talked to anyone else. Quite maddening the child like behavior you have to deal with. All I asked for was kind consistent and loving communication and quality time. He treated me so awful and I hate that he still is on my mind. Watching these videos help alot.
I mirrored the same quality in mine. I only dated him a few months. Found out he had an ankle tag for DV charges but he managed to spin a narrative that made it look like he was set up. He’s a little nerdy computer scientist with StarWars tattoos and cute as a button so I gave him the benefit of the doubt (whilst also applying for Clare’s Law on the sly) His behaviour got very emotionally manipulative very quickly. He learned fast that I hated being made to feel like I’d done something wrong, so he frequently dipped the mood and acted weird towards me. I would attempt to talk but I was met with silence until I gave up. Then he would act normal again like nothing had happened. The last time I refused to “go back to normal” with him and instead mirrored his weird mood and radio silence back at him and he came to my door uninvited at 1am on a week night and banged on the door and called my phone off the hook for almost an hour. I dread to think what would’ve happened if I’d answered. The next day I messaged saying I needed space and I was met with messages of how horrible I am blah blah blah. The rest of what was left of his mask fell completely off but thankfully he seems to have discarded me. I’ve learned he has a criminal damage charge for breaking his ex’s door in and I’ve also learned she wasn’t the first to experience his behaviour. Be careful! Moving on from these people is HARD but playing their games isn’t worth your life x
@SininenKT yes its a blessing to be discarded as much as it hurts. I My ex waited til I sold my house and then it was easier for him to treat me bad because he knew I didn't have another place to go so he'd just say if I didn't like anything or wasn't happy I knew where the door was or I could get the F out. Took 2 years but finally I'm free from that one. Still have to deal with my baby daddy ex who is a narcissist that sounds like what you were dealing with. He's easily triggered and when that happens thats when he is more unpredictable and unstable which is frightening. That one would pull my hair and kick me when I was "sleeping". Do stuff to my car, neighbors said he shot there dog with a BB gun. They really are wolves in sheep's clothing. Trust no one...even after 20 years you never truly know anyone. Best to be single and live on your own forever. I pray God watches out for us that need it. You hear in the news today all too often of what people with no empathy are capable of. Glad you are out and I pray for us to all be happy optimistic and focused on a better future. 🙏
Best thing is ignore them. Remember try not to return evil for evil.
Stay safe
The idea of "narcissitic fleas" makes a lot of sense. When you start to take on some of their bad behaviors then they will accuse and gaslight you into thinking that you're the narcissist. You're not, you just caught some of their flease and you can cleanse yourself of them when you cut them out of your life.
Narcissistic people know very well what they are doing , it’s a game to them 😢
Yes it is definitely a game to them. They laugh right in your face!!!! This is my second narcissist marriage so I know the game. He doesn't know that I know the game. I just let him talk and give the silent treatment. That works pretty well with Narcs.
This is the first time hear the term, “Narcissistic Fleas.” For the last few weeks I was convinced I was a narcissist too, and beginning to hate myself even more. Now, I see that I can change and “wash” this out of my system. Thank you.
you’re welcome
They know how they want to be treated themselves. If somebody doesn't reciprocate kindness, but hates getting their own treatment back, they are toxic.
I did the most horrible things, that the ex-narc did to me, lying, cheating, malipulating.Thing is I do do the stuff he does, I have my backup plans, little does he knows. But that's done and over. Be careful out here, stay safe.
They know exactly what they are doing ! I call them out immediately on it or be the narcissist- narcissist ! They really hate that because they don’t like being the one that is beneath YOU ! It works - I’ve done it . They don’t play with me. I’m always steps ahead of them anyways. The baby example is great !!!
Left my narcissist ex 14 months ago. Why settle for nothing when you can have it all?
Move on and look to a brighter future. Stay out of the dark and move into the light.
If you have energy to play that game with a narcissist then you have energy to find yourself someone who isn’t mentally fkd up… don’t play any games… that get back at a narcissist is a suicidal never ending game.
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They know exactly what they are doing. Keep mirroring their behaviors.
They know how they treat us. They just don't have empathy or introspection to determine it's abusive until they feel it. I just learned from this video about the narcissist fleas.
I am super empathic and your videos made me realize why I made him get crazy 😂😂 I love myself so much after getting rid of him 🥰
When I responded in GREATER and similar manner she said ' You treat me like I am invisible ' she didn't like it...I LOVED IT!
Yes they have a rules for thee and not for me mentality. If you treat them they same way they get bent out of shape. Then they play the victim if you call them out on their behavior. Just leave them. You will be happier. I am now that I’m not with mine anymore.
Oh my goodness!!!! 💯 facts!! And then say they don't understand why you are doing this to them and that are/haven't done anything wrong to you!! It's so frustrating and draining 😫
I caught FLEAs from my narcissistic ex who also had BPD. I ended up hurting a girl I was talking to extremely badly and in the same ways my ex did to me. I couldn't and still don't recognize that person I became. It was a rough realization and it scared the crap out of me tbh. Clearly I wasn't ready to date yet. Sorry for hurting you, K.
This isnmy fear rn. I'll stay single for a while.
Yea same boat….shit can fuck you up for real
Respect 🙌 That happened w/my first love, they were supposedly hurt by a narcissist ex, tried to use me to get over them, then broke up when i wouldn't have sex after 6 months :/ it's a total bs fest.
Can you guys expand more on what you did to hurt the other person? Did you play mind games and manipulate to try to get attention? Did you stonewall or ghost them? Please share more.
I started treating and talking to him shortly after I figured out what he was. Within a few months he REALLY started devaluing and disguarding me. It helped me to start breaking the trauma bond and disassociating. He also started the smear campaign and intensified the triangulation. I kicked him out 3 weeks ago. Bye, Felicia!
They absolutely know what they are doing!!!!
Yes. This is between you and I. Don’t tell anyone. Then she’d remind me how bad I am.
Me: ok, let’s find a neutral third party or even trusted friends or family. We’ll both explain our situations and what we’ve both done and I bet you all of my savings that everyone would be disgusted with how you treat me. SILENCE
This part .... I'd say "let's ask a mediator and if the issues stem from me, I am prepared to work on them" and he would say "I do not need a mediator" that's when I knowww he knows he is being a rhymes with runt...
I finally let him go & blocked him. 🙏🏾
Same
Truth!!! My current situation!!!! “ say all the things that you say to our child about me, to the 3rd party”
SILENCE!!!!!!
What happened?
Boy, you explain it so well. They, for whatever reason, are convinced that they are entitled and justified for doing what they do, and you are not. They're special, and you are too only if you comply with everything they want and serve as a punching ball if needed.
Yep. Just as Cain was entitled to murdering his righteous brother Abel out of a childish, butt hurt, envious narcissistic tantrum!!!
OMG that's one thing answered - why do they sleep-deprive us and keep us awake fighting etc.? I wondered if that was a thing or just a coincidence with my narc-hole ex's. Lee you're great putting yourself out there and being transparent but then as a narc you'd enjoy the attention😉🙏
They don't like it. They can dish it out, but they can't take it. Never stop dishing it.
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