So, he love-bombed her, she thought he was her soulmate, he suddenly dropped the mask and was controlling and abusive. No official diagnosis needed. He’s a narcissistic beast.
@@angel_existential I think alcohol is not an excuse because research shows that people often act out of character when intoxicated largely due to inhibition of violent tendencies that are usually inhibited by the logical and consequence-analyzing part of the brain.
@@angel_existential With that being said, it does not mean that he should not be held responsible for the things he has done, but I think he can argue diminished responsibility due to intoxication.
@@KINGSOP2000 I'm pretty sure my dad fried parts of his frontal lobe with alcohol because he was abusive to both my mother and I even when he was sober. Probably doesn't help that he sometimes downed his anti-depressants with beer.
It hurts me that when twigs came forward about this, so many people started calling her a liar. I hope twigs get better and her words are taken seriously.
Jessica F I’d bet that if you weighed the number of racist comments against the number of people in America, the percentage would be extremely low. Asinine? Absolutely, but I think we’ve gotten into the habit of taking the behavior of a relatively small number of people and thinking that it says something about society more broadly. The truth is, you’ll always have a few.
He’s unwilling to apologize without also addressing himself as a victim. Abuse is a choice. Abusers choose to abuse in situations where they feel they can get away with it. I feel FKA Twigs pain. This is a great video, Dr. Grande.
I disagree. If someone is honest about their behavior and takes responsibility for it, forgiveness is the right thing to do. Give them a space to heal and improve. The only people you need protection of are the ones who deny and stick to their behavior. Your judging, hateful attitude is toxic. I'm an abuse survivor.
@@Sebastian-42-69 While we can hope abusive partners will change, it’s not always realistic to expect that they can and will. Abusers cannot change unless they deal deeply with their entitled and superior attitudes. No superficial changes that they may make offer any real hope for the future. As with everything else, abusers use therapy and batterer programs to game the system: they seldom change their behavior even after completing the programs, and the abuser often tries to use the program to continue control over the victim, asserting that the program is all about how she needs to support him, and trying to use the program to con her into returning home. I am a survivor of domestic violence.
I would also like to add as well that some people believe that drugs and alcohol are causing the abuse, and that getting him clean and sober will solve the problem. But this doesn’t work: intoxication doesn’t cause the abuse - although it can make the violence worse - so getting him clean won’t fix the abuse. The abuser may claim that child abuse causes him to abuse as an adult, but that is also not a valid excuse, any more than the "Sorry, I was drunk" excuse. Although some kids who were abused grow up to be abusers, 75 percent of them do not. Being abusive is a choice. When someone continues to engage in a chronic pattern of behavior despite being called out many times and having the capacity to change (and even promising to change), it is confirmation that the behavior is deliberate. Unless they are in a form of psychosis, they know exactly what they are doing. Abusers have plenty of options and opportunities to behave differently but they choose to be abusive instead.
I’m so glad she’s speaking out. He’ll probably just pay to keep this situation out of court. I still don’t really understand how he’s been arrested so many times and just let go. People who steal from Walmart get more jail time than him.
I help you understand... MONEY... you welcome. There was this raper XXXTentacion look it up. He was cryminal making music he got away with everything because his Music maked money for music industry. If you want justice watch movies, won't find it here.
Przemo l well said!!! Couldn't have said it better, or more honestly!!! FVCK the rich!!! There needs to be a revolution ala the french, and the proceeds of the culling of the rich should go to social programs!!!
He's dangerous. Strangling women is personal. Looking into someone's face while cutting off their oxygen takes time, strength, and more. I no longer care about him or his " need for help". I care about the people he could kill.
it's not a "he lost control and he just needs help" kind of thing,doing that you must not have any compassion towards another human being and that is truly evil.
The fact is, when a man escalates to choking and/or raping his partner, they are more likely to kill them before the partner is able to escape the relationship.
Seems like it would be hard to get away with. An A-list celebrity driving around Los Angeles, discharging a firearm, and leaving dead dogs in his wake?
@@TianazBryant24 this is true but this is his response to a victim of his, why does he need to bring up himself? i didn't say narcissist but it's just interesting to note.
@@willnill7946 Idk why you would comment this. It sounds like you're projecting something that happened to you onto her. Every situation is different and you have no way of knowing what happened in their relationship
What happened to her is horrible, but hopefully those who never knew of FKA Twigs can try out Magdalene and specifically Cellophane. Means a lot more now
He has a long history of being abusive to Mia Goth and Carey Mulligan. He's done many reckless, bizarre things that have been life-endangering, like driving while drunk with others in the car. He's dangerous.
@WTD I don't think he's going to sweep this under the rug. His attorney will try to cut a deal to avoid court at the last minute. I hope she doesn't take the deal. There are still too many people who don't know his long abusive history.
A person can have a traumatic upbringing and other serious problems and not continue the cycle of violence later in life. They become determined not to make the same mistakes
Yes. However he works in an industry that doesn’t care about him except to make money off of him, I imagine he developed an intense defensive coping mechanism. He’s hurting people before they can hurt him, and oscillates between offensive and defensive modes.
Wish more had that attitude. My father came from an upbringing of chaos, violence, and alcoholism. But he rose above it early in life when he met my mom and took over helping raise my older sister. Got a steady job that he still works now, had me, and raised both of us in a happy, stable home. When he tells me about how things were for him growing up, I almost don't believe it, he's so not like that. I remember him having a strong, supportive presence in my childhood. We're VERY different people but I know that I have his respect, and he has mine. I know I can go to him for anything, truly. The man is simply a rock of kindness and reliability. I try to emulate that. And then, there's the girl I almost married. Every kind of abuse as a child, but swore that using that as an excuse to hurt people was weak and wrong. I tried very hard to be understanding and just be there for her. God knows I meant it, too. But she probably already knew, even as she said that very thing, that she had become an amalgamation of the very people who had previously hurt her. Just wish I had before I found myself subject to it. It was bizarre to see how the stories she told me before became about her in new ways... shock and awe for me, I couldn't begin to process it until much, much later on. I found myself living out her own experiences, in a way. Funny thing, that. The moment when she told me that was burned into my mind, and kept haunting me when I was dealing with the fallout from my time with her. Nothing could make me more miserable than making the same mistake. And I seem to have avoided that. I try to use her as an example of what not to be, let the resentment remind and empower me to not go down that road and not repeat that relationship in reverse. As long as I succeed, I always feel better. So I don't feel the urge. If anything, I have every reason not to let myself hurt someone like that, because I want to be able to continue to stand tall and truly know that I am not like her. Nothing less will do. So it's always pushing me to at least try to be a better person and not think of myself as a victim, not dwell on the pain, and not bring more of that darkness into my life through others. Victimhood, desperation, and uninhibition go hand in hand and it's really not pretty. Easy to cast blame, hard to take responsibility. I have a mantra for that: "It may not be your fault, but it is your problem." Be good to people and know how quickly that can be gone. It comes back around. It really does. It is sad when someone self-alienates - 'tragic' doesn't suffice, but I do believe that in many cases that is a product of many, many bad choices. Truly though... people like that ARE their worst victims. Make no mistakes, a couple of years later, I still hear whispers through the grapevine of the chaos that has happened since that time. People tell me I got lucky. In spite of everything I had to go through, I tend to agree. I can at least say I have people who care about me, and that it's truly reciprocal. If anything, I overcompensate and stretch myself thin trying to be good to people. But I'll take that. I get what I need to be okay with myself without hurting people, and I myself don't truly suffer for it. Most tend to appreciate me for who I am and I pay that forward whenever I can. I can at least say that I have my heart and my head in the right place, and that the outcomes of my choices matter to me. The damage from abuse manifests differently in different people. They're not wrong, it does start with a problem with self-love. Hard to love yourself when you're in so much pain, haunted by terrible memories. I know that vicariously well. And if you can't manage that, you will hurt others, sometimes without even noticing. However, if you have the insight to realize that, enough to say it aloud, then you are equipped to chip away at that. But you have to patient and honest with yourself. I think all too often, people like Shia, or my ex tend to speak of it out of a need for validation. And when they get that validation, it goes dormant for a while, but they don't really change. It's like they know of their pain and the source, and even the effect it is having on others, but the doubt keeps them from acting constructively and it becomes a viscous cycle of posturing and dismantling. I can't pretend to understand why... how they can look in the mirror. Perhaps they just don't anymore, treating others like a mirror instead...
@@differentbutsimilar7893 the end of your comment has the button to press for more maybe it's just not lit up or something but it's very irritating in the Android app that you have to press that thing to verify there is no more and if I'm not observant and maybe because I have blue blocking Etc on including dark mode for RUclips itself. I think that it is good you gave us so much of what you had to say because I wanted to chime in and nothing you have said prevents me from finding it appropriate enough in response. It isn't about the decided people being recovered it's about the process of getting there right? The being accountable to mistakes like perhaps having contempt for tradition including the support of your family before you take on a project like the partner you describe. There is Jack Nicholson in carnal knowledge which I saw as a teenager essentially while in school but it was already a classic of course. I didn't really have any clue about what that was about and a few people do currently. You say you're not the same as your father an earlier I thought about the words walking together being characteristic of birds of a feather to State the Corollary of what is no longer perhaps even a cliche but may in fact have become tawdry. I think I understand well enough what you mean by dissemble unless you mean something other than being honest in that definition I have not given your words any thought. As you may have heard much of the world put the responsibility we take for granted among each of us on to the state. When we founded our country we understood that there were different kinds of people and that letting people have the state kill a person does not make them whole when we did that in the wild west it was out of necessity in terms of not being able to afford prisons with some towns probably killing every decade as many criminals as called who plays their home. So my naive theory about the business about voting being for those who have land is that perhaps it has to do with accountability that they have something to lose which if you recall was our president's arguments that the people who could not vote in the past should therefore vote for him as they have nothing to lose when people find out what they have done but boy has that proven to be false and it's not him that we hurt exclusively rather we help him by demolishing the high-rise on the Atlantic instead of New Jersey passing a law charging vacant structures twice the occupied tax rate. in the past we have coarse drafted people and so some of the population left the country which either built character or protected us. Building back better when it comes to the draft would have meant Donald Trump working a day in his life. if you haven't heard of the concept of being your own psychiatrist know that there is a book by David V. of that title who also has a lot of very very different RUclips videos but I don't know of an app that takes advantage of modern technology better even then the coveted 90-minute audio tape. I consider plenty of AA meetings to be bar culture on steroids but often much worse people killing time looking for a hookup not sitting in front of a camera answering a scripted question and watching their performance to their horror. if the well-intended often members of AA had a present-day leader they would have such a smartphone app instead of being impressed by others believing their nonsense they would fail to con themselves. you sound very much like you empathize with our presidents p l i g h t regarding his silk ties never looking the same once a drop of water hits. go rescue your ex don't be such a quitter! If you have a different partner maybe that can make all the difference this time around. If your partner loves you they will understand your father raised you not to abandon just to keep your current partner or whatever. you need a team of course but you don't have to suffer this type of guilt the answer is not do nothing but look away it never is.
It's not a coincidence that almost every person Shia has dated was someone he was actively working with on a project. Like he saw the person and decided, "I want her, I'm going to make her date me." And since they worked together he had easier access to them.
The day he found a new girlfriend and sent the text message to end up things with Twigs must have been the happiest day of her life! Poor new girlfriend though...
@ This is true. I was a victim of my own abusive mother and for some time I inflicted pain on others because of that, but therapy helped me tremendously. This is why I really hope Shia seeks help.
3 года назад+13
@@rdpcl i hear what you're saying. My dad was extremely manipulative and abusive. Small thing i did was spending this year reclaiming food, I enjoy breakfast now among other things.
"Norman Bates Guide to Dating," Bates, N. 1962. Simon and Shuster. I have a copy of that, it's not too bad except when he talks about his mother in such detail.
He is a better actor than I thought. He comes off as charming, thoughtful, sensitive, caring and misunderstood he sets the narrative as almost an introduction regarding his childhood trauma, addictions, mental health struggles and bad behaviours as almost a ploy to really manipulate those around him. Hope Talia can find peace and support during this time x
There’s only so many times a person can “apologize “ before everyone learns to just ignore the crying 🐺. A true apology requires sincere CHANGE. Proof is in the pudding.
Yes indeed. And these days you could have almost endless access to channels of all kind. I think it isnt that good in long term, but useful in the covid world... 😁
If anyone said "She's really into high profile relationship, she's trying to grab some money," just because she dated Robert Pattinson and Shia LaBeouf Newsflash, FKA is quite well-off herself. Her story with Pattinson was heartbreaking because people constantly told her that she wasn't pretty enough for Robert etc, and then she went with Shia, not on the peak of his career as Transfomers era already ended way before that, just to be treated like that. Why everytime a victim came out in a high-profile case, people thought about the finance first?
Those "people" who made abusive comments to Twigs were primarily fans of Pattinson's ex, Kristen Stewart. They are really horrible women who are stuck in a Twilight bubble who hate any woman who's seen with Pattinson because they say those women are preventing Pattinson from taking Kristen back. It's totally crazy, she's chosen to date women exclusively for the past 8 years, but these freak fans of hers can only accept her if she's Bella to his Edward. It's so sick and it's well known on Twitter, but few other places. They're doing the same hateful commenting to Suki Waterhouse, his girlfriend for the past 3 years, saying she's never "be as pretty as Kristen Stewart," and that's she's stupid and just dating Pattinson for clout. None of that is true but they just don't stop.
@@una877 Kristen Stewart's Twilight fans you mean. The memes have Kristen as Bella in Breaking Dawn, cutting Twig's head off. They're not Pattinson fans, they're Kristen fans who only want to see her with him and when he dates anyone else, they do that to the poor woman he's chosen. It's so sick. His fans were very supportive of Twigs, same as they are of his current GF.
Never trusted him after his incident with Mia Goth a few years ago. That's when he said "this is the kind of thing that makes people abusive" which is very victim-blaming. Someone doing something you don't like and then you abuse them is not why you're abusive.
I'm For Real I disagree. I think they’re drawn to him because he’s dangerous and they find that exciting, if a bit threatening. The initial kindness just helps put them at ease. If it was kindness most young women were after, they’d choose someone else.
Having watched the aplomb with which he portrays the Adolescent winning the love of the young girl in the first Transformers I disagree. It was offencive car worshipping propaganda and his apparently clear conscience about producing it has little to do with any substances. I find it hard to believe then Alcoholics Anonymous allows young children to be in these groups unless they are special groups for mothers with kids because at the time I can't imagine they had special groups for fathers to bring their children to. What they should have had was a Al-Anon group meeting at the same location for such children?
@@alexhatfield4448 look Hatfield it doesn't take much to lead an AA group and your perspective may be accurate but it is clearly shocking for this Channel and myself. My understanding is the people who are going to AA meetings or supposed to be able to speak freely about strictly adult matters at times. Your claim that decades ago there were lots of men who brought their children as a regular thing to their AAA meeting again men not women doing that is in my opinion unlikely to be systemically true. I think you need to learn about the line of questioning you could watch especially if you watch the whole 3 hours from 2 days ago where a member of Congress duly elected believes that the hospital accrediting group is largely responsible for the societal devastation the sackler's continue to impose and will continue to impose if not detained humanely especially the old lady whose face I have not seen seen yet but it's called a doctor and would not survive long on $50,000 or less a year I'm sure she spending that on security every 10 days presently to understate her needs.
His arrest in Georgia was pretty great to watch. He starts yelling about his millionaire lawyers, even though he was arrested because he got belligerent with people who refused to give him cigarettes. He has all these lawyers on retainer but can't buy his own smokes?
Shia is the kind of cool and engaging guy you meet at a party. You start making small talk and for a few minutes you're all like, "Hey this guy is pretty cool!" And then there's that one freaky moment. It happens quickly and subtly. But it is nevertheless that moment when you say to yourself, "Holy shit. Get me outta here. This. Guy. Is. Crazy".
I'm so glad she is bringing attention to the psychological aspects of abuse, and the insidious ways abusers break down their victims to make them feel helpless and trapped. A lot of people don't understand how others can find themselves caught up in a situation like this, but it really can happen to anyone, and people should be more aware of the warning signs. Abuse isn't just getting hit one day out of nowhere. There's a whole manipulation process that goes on before (and after) that, to condition the victim to put up with increasingly unhealthy behaviors/treatment. Abuse is about so much more than physical violence (sometimes that's not even part of it)...the psychological element is what haunts victims years later, or even forever.
I am older. I don't know him from that role. I actually know him best from the Transformers movie. And, that one movie, I think was called Domestic Disturbance. Then, of course, all of his legal issues.
I’ve always loved Shia but this has been too much. I believe her account of his behaviour which means he needs to get help to be a better person before he kills someone or himself
The problem with narcissistics is the condition is ego syntonic i.e. self-reinforcing so they don’t tend to seek help and if by chance they do will play the victim as he did until the cows come home.
From discourse online, it’s been really frightening to see some people (in my opinion, recklessly) defend Shia. For example, there have been many comments that ftx was making all of her accusations up for attention, even though shia had already admitted to having been abusive. It’s hard to decipher whether this is because of Shias perceived sincerity during interviews, or perhaps internalized misogyny/anger of the commenters. Anyways, thank you for the analysis dr grande, this definitely cleared up some questions I had about the whole situation and was very interesting!
He needs help. He's a "Disney Actor" don't they all go "crazy" such a shame almost all of them. He should get help for absolute NARCISSISM & ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE. Then jail/ prison if he keeps up his ways especially on medication!! God bless 👑🙏🌈💙🌼
Shia Labeuof is ten billion times anything twigs could ever wish she would be... funny cause no one would ever even know who twigs is if she wasn’t Shias ex Hahahaha
"The Norman Bates Guide to Dating" is pretty good, but I prefer "Ted Bundy's Guide to Old Fashioned Romance and Courtship". It has a nice section on recipes, too.
one of the saddest parts is how the jury just "throws their hands up" as you said. Abuse victims are often misjudged as being solely responsible for their partner's behavior. Even if it's two celebrities, it doesn't mean suddenly the abused person has an easier way out. If the abuser has more fame or money that's a way to keep a stronger grasp on the victim. It's unfortunate for both because LaBeouf hasn't been held accountable. And fka twigs is suffering at the hands of abuse (if the allegations turn out to be true but considering his track record it is likely) and the abuse of the courts.
Well it is very odd for her to say that she would have stayed quiet if he not only got help but donated money. Then she sues first instead of going for criminal court and says she would take the money and donate it to the very centers she tried to get Lebouf to donate too. That's very weird. All that abuse she knows he has done to others and yet she'd be willing to stay quiet. All that gory abuse she says he has done to her yet she'd stay quiet. Smh. Remember she said she didn't say anything because she was concerned about his career. Smh. So rightfully so the jury, judge and/or his attorney's will want to know then why did you REALLY want to speak out now? Doesn't make sense to care about doing this now, and suing, for money, at that.
@@angellisa2614 thank you. Doesn't make sense. She is nowhere NEAR the typical way of a DV victim. Too many options. She used none of them because she cared about his career? Why? Were you getting money from it or something? I mean...what kind of excuse???
Courts and law enforcement typically retraumatize the victims and put them more at risk. This is a SERIOUS problem in the family court system for mothers and children. And no one is talking about it.
It interests me that in his response to the allegations, he included HIMSELF as one of his victims. It shows self-centeredness, and a lack of empathy for others who have been hurt by him. Btw, you should do one on Tony Kiritsis. Or am I wasting my time?
Dirty Magic11 Truly remorseful people do NOT respond to allegations of victimizing others by first asserting their own victimhood. It’s a self-defense mechanism.
catwilde__ Idk if he’s a narcissist, but I DO know that he’s not taking responsibility for his actions. That would involve caring about the other person enough to selflessly acknowledge her pain.
Did you not hear the extensive arrests he had due to alcohal abuse? He's a victim of his addiction. He has not denied or said that he's the bigger victim. He said he has abused himself and others and he is in recovery. What is he supposed to roll over and die? Don't you know anyone that has had any kind of substance problems or mental health issues?
He is a great actor, but his acting chops are clearly just him playing himself. He almost always plays an abusive shitbag, so probably not too difficult for him.
Dr grande is such a hidden gem 💎 looking so serious, talking about seriously topics with a highly knowledge of his professional skills. But the gems are really his sarcasm and his humor. Love love love it 🥰 My favorite one is “ the satanic tebbybear” thank you so much dr grande!! You are the best❤️
My dad use to take me to AA meetings because he was a single parent and couldn’t afford to pay for a babysitter so I disagree that that’s considered bad parenting
Totally. They offered Alanon for kids at the same time in some places so we could talk about how it felt to be a kid in an alcoholic household. Probably the HEALTHIEST thing to happen in my house. Glad you commented...thank you.
@@pinkyredux4965 you want to put the groups that created an Al-Anon group for the children in the same category as those that didn't and you don't see a problem there?
@@markknotten1210 only problem I see with the fact that only some places were able to offer resources for kids at the same time is they happened to be in the more affluent areas. The meetings that didn’t were in the poorer communities we lived in. I think that says a lot more than a single parent doing what they have to “one day at a time”.
My childhood is officially ruined...I believe FKA Twigs and because I grew up watching Shia on Disney and admiring his talent, I hope he gets the help he needs and atones for his actions.
He's had SO many chances and only getting older. 😕 Not to mention he has access to every resource available to get help. I am in recovery and part of the thing that keeps me in it is thinking about all the addicts I knew who would have LOVED to be able to get the help and support my family gave me. It really is such a slap in the face to other people struggling when you have all the resources and just don't use them.
I have experienced very similar abuse from a male partner, and I know how hard it is to speak out. For this I am so proud and inspired by Twigs for her bravery. FKA Twigs I appreciate you! 🌺
He could have had any woman he wanted, but he opted to become an abuser just like his father. The irony is , the abused mostly becomes an abuser. He is a grown man , let him take responsibility because I doubt she went to Law Enforcement without any evidence after two years.
He literally made Honey Boy as an ode to his upbringing. Fell in love with her on set and basically displayed himself to her through the making of the film... And transferred that into the relationship.
"Enabling is their worst enemy disguised as their best friend." This is such a true statement, but it's not easy to recognize when you're in that type of situation. It would really help all parties if they could realize this early in a relationship. Thank you Dr. Grande for making that point.
The emotional harm caused by being with someone with NPD can be far more painful than the physical abuse. The scars are all on the inside, they don't heal before the next one comes, sometimes they never heal at all. It's hard to get any support from anyone outside the situation because it's not like there's a bruise or a cut you can point to and say, "he did this to me!" You're not in a relationship with a narcissist - it's just a series of interactions - and in every single interaction they'll be trying to put you at a disadvantage and take more than they give. Emotionally, I was in the red, like a bank account that was severely overdrawn. I'm still damaged from my abuser, the scars are still there 15 years later and sometimes they still feel very raw.
I feel you, I was in an abusive relationship with a BPD sufferer. Almost 10 years on I still have nightmares *and* she moved to my hometown so now I have to look over my shoulder constantly 😣
And saying they love you so soon. You can't even know if you love someone within a few weeks; you don't know them. The abuser MAY be projecting an image and relationship onto that person that makes them THINK they are in love that quickly or it's some type of manipulation. Either way, it's a huge red flag and abusers often want to go really fast in relationships, so they can tie you down and make it less likely you will leave.
When I studied family therapy and watched the videos that the public is still denied of families in therapy I understood that meant the children would be protected. However now most mental health professionals are not exposed to that curriculum despite being adults and Clueless absent such exposure. So I'm not sure about you LOL!
@@markknotten1210 I'm a 46 year old woman. This was something my ex husband was involved in before our separation/divorce in 2010. Our daughters were with me until summer 2018. He and i share joint custody.
This makes me so sad. He is so smart and talented but he’s such a God damn mess. However, I am NOT condoning him being abusive. I hope everyone involved gets the help that they need. Thank you for this video. 💕
Dr. Grande, you should really do a longer video about the type of woman who is attracted to abusive relationships and why. It seems so many women fall into this trap and dont leave when they should. Would be fascinating to hear your perspectives.
@@willnill7946 Not true, those women just stay quiet cuz they work hard at choosing a mate, staying with a good mate, and know not to talk publicly about their husbands unless it is to say good things. All the people on the internet that just left their "abusive narcissist ex of 400 years" but can't get away cuz "he's the father of my 5 kids" are losers that got burned, paying it forward. Same goes for men and their "nasty ice queen cheating ex." They just don't know when to shut up and want sympathy and hand outs.
Guys get into narcissist relationships too, Johnny Depp, Prince Harry maybe. Seems anyone could fall pray because of the good show abusers put on at the beginning of the relationship. 🤔
It seems odd. How do you go around gunning down dogs in a major city and not get caught? Flying bullets, gunshot sounds, dead dogs with bullet holes in them...🤷♂️
You touched on so many important topics in this video - domestic violence, narcissism, law X victims of narcissism, and consequences of alcohol abuse. Great job with the summary and analysis of this unfortunate situation. This was extremely insightful, thank you as always! ❤️
holy fuck i didn’t kno about the STD thing!!!! just that in itself is an automatic lawsuit. if you knowingly have an std & don’t tell someone you’re sleeping with about it, that’s an automatic lawsuit. and on top of everything else... i rly hope she takes him for every dime he has.. even tho he may not have much anymore. i don’t know his financial status atm.
In regards to children attending AA meetings, I also find it highly inappropriate. Children do not possess cognitive and emotional maturity to deal with topics discussed at those meetings, especially when attendees give their testimonies. Second, when adult family members attend those meetings, they are there partly to support their loved ones. This supportive role cannot be placed on a child. Children should be emotionally supported by parents and not the other way around. Furthermore, nobody needs to attend an AA meeting to “learn” the consequences of alcohol abuse. If they have a family member who abuse/abused alcohol, they have plenty of examples of what alcohol addiction can cause. Lastly, although there is a genetic component to alcohol abuse. That is not the only factor that will determine if someone will became an alcoholic. Personality and environment will play a tremendous role on this as well. I understand the culture and the important message provided during AA meetings. However, in my opinion, those meetings are not designed for children.
You have obviously never been to an AA meeting. You actually took the time to type all of that out and yet you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. People with addictions have to do whatever it takes for their recovery, and that goes double if they have children. Sometimes, that may mean that they go to a 12-step meeting with a parent but a child is never put into the role of a counselor at a meeting lol. Children aren't even involved in conversations at all and many meetings have childcare. You're just being an obnoxious wannabe psychologist, sitting on the sidelines judging people who are trying to be better.
@@JustJesstheMess Yes, exactly. A lot of th time when people take their kids to meetings they have them wear headphones mostly to keep them from being bored and making noise, but if not it is people talking about getting better. Most AA meetings are mostly people who are sober with many who have been sober for a very long time. Of course there are hopefully newcomers too, but it's not all just a bunch of drunk people off the street. I have been sober for 4 years and go to meetings. There are some people with 20 30 40 years or more. And yeah, there are lots of people who are new and trying to get/stay sober who have to take their kids because they can't get a sitter. It's crazy that there is still stigma surrounding meetings. I know lots of people who grew up going to meetings who loved it because the people there are like their aunts and uncles. By the way I miss my meetings..Where I live in Baltimore city our mayor had made it tough for a lot of the ones in churches to open back up. There are a few in person ones in the city, but mostly in clubhouses(spaces that are owned by the meeting and not rented) My homegroup hasn't met in person since March. Zoom meetings just aren't the same. There are more meetings in the county but it's hard for me to make it out there.
Are there any specific personality traits associated with the desire to become an actor or other public celebrity? I would imagine that narcissism (from the dark triad/tetrad) is one, as is extraversion from the Big Five. I'd also imagine that most celebrities who enjoy their work are low in trait neuroticism.
Addiction, past abuse or trauma may be the reason someone chooses to abuse another human being BUT it should never be used or accepted as an excuse for abuse.
The moment you spoke about the dogs, that did it for me. That might sound cold that the dog part is what sent me over the edge, but the dogs are 100% innocent, & never had a chance when he used a g un on them. I wish only the the worst for him.
People who are bothered by this don't understand that compassion, love, empathy are infinite. Caring about animals, innocent and vulnerable, does not detract from caring for others. I felt the same as you when I heard that! Dispicable!
Doesn’t it seem like that would be a tough thing for him to get away with? An A-list celebrity driving around Los Angeles, shooting a gun and leaving dead dogs in his wake? I wonder if she actually saw it or if he just told her.
@@adamhonestyanddecency5054 to be honest, I think he only told that to Twigs to scare her into staying with him. Like he said that’s what he did to trap her into staying. Like “if I did that to them, I’ll do the same to you.” Could’ve been a manipulation tactic. But who knows at this point.
My father got sober when I was three and I remember him taking me to one AA meeting because he couldn’t get a babysitter for me but he really needed that help. You don’t have to judge people who bring their children to an AA meeting so harshly.
If you bring your kids to AA meetings because you couldn't get a sitter, that judgment isn't against you or your parent. It's that Shia's dad seems to have dragged him there specifically to show him a slice of his future as it if it was already carved out for him. That's the gross part.
So I'm often approached recently when visiting a childhood Park by alcoholics who asked in various levels of transparency if I am there for the reason they are appearing. Some of them are drunk. The doctor has expressed a very very apparently controversial indictment of his father for taking the future actor to the meetings. Because alcoholism is considered a medical condition and health Insurance can be procured at the same price a teetotaler of the same age and gender Etc all but smoker would pay I would hope that the doctor would say if you can compliment it with a more costly but largely insurance retained element then go for it but definitely not without that more standardized hopefully higher-quality elements. I think that John cheever's daughter must say a lot about a a but let me give you an example of a substance that makes alcohol seem a joke. All of the over-the-counter energy meth like powders pills liquids not just the sweet cream Galore and cane sugar concoctions at a outrageous prices Blue Collar wage families pick up daily on their way to work. I think the Port Royal of Alcoholics Anonymous on the ABC television broadcast network dramatic multi-year series NYPD whatever that shows name was was very compassionate. Detective sipowicz had to deal with the sponsor who was not a good match for him. He tried to team up with that man and be active as his own sponsor in concert. I have been in the line at pharmacies when the old ladies buying the high-proof bottles wordlessly get rung up. We need a 911 system that is so different and incorporating video and insurance that you can reach out to peers without risking being tracked down. we have the technology now to address isolation beyond the imagination of just a few years ago. We need to step up our game. We need artificial intelligence augmentation of video groups that are volunteer and not. Isn't a common damage of children of Alcoholics being overly adult from too young an age? If it is true that the organization has condones children being in these adult groups it should be liquidated if there is any thing to liquidate? we will need it if obamacare's goes away but until that happens the risk of single alcoholics walking into a lion's den alone is a reason to shut the groups down immediately for new members at least before they have it prescribed with adequate supervision Etc
i am soooo sick of people using their terrible childhood as an excuse for being abusive. my childhood was dark af, but i made the decision as an adult to use that sh!t to make myself stronger and more compassionate. no one had a perfect childhood, but most of us don’t allow that to define us and/or determine the person we become. i have zero sympathy for the ones that do.
But it wasn’t just a choice that you made right? It was some sort of willpower within you to BE different. Where does that come from and why can some ppl pull from that willpower intuitively and others have to constantly seek it out? I’d count myself in your court, but damn, I know that DAILY I still fight the bs from my childhood, and there are certainly days it wins. It’s not a large leap to see how having more losing days than wins could turn me into someone getting zero sympathy. Which is sad because who else could possibly understand but others who went thru similar shit?
An interesting and thought provoking analysis with so many important points! As I was listening, it brought to mind the importance of standards and personal boundaries and how these could have empowered her to say no to him and end the relationship after it became abusive. His abrupt change in behaviour after their whirlwind romance and marriage brought to mind a quick analogy. If "Joe" decides to buy a new vehicle and after several test drives becomes enamored by the driving experience, performance and lines of one vehicle he decides to sign the contract to purchase. However, when "Joe" returns to the lot to pick up his new vehicle the dealer brings out a trade-in from the last "push, pull, drag" sale instead of the vehicle of his dreams he had originally purchased. Undoubtedly, Joe would say "the deal's off" and ask that the contract be rescinded because this was not the vehicle he had originally purchased. It's an example of a bait and switch not unlike Shia's drastic change in demeanor soon after their marriage. Sadly, although this was not what she signed up for she decided not to end the marriage and endured violence and abuse until he decided to terminate it. It's unfortunate she wasn't able to access the resources needed for victims of domestic violence to help her navigate this difficult situation. Anyway, many thanks for another fantastic video!😊
Hi Doc! I'm not sure if you covered this topic yet but can you do an analysis on people who get drastic and extreme plastic surgeries to the point where they're unrecognizable from their former selves? (notable examples: Pete Burns, Lil Kim, Jocelyn Wildenstein)
Thanks for the video, Dr Grande! I have another request for a video: what can I do when I suspect a coworker is victim of domestic abuse? I don't see her anymore because of the lockdown over here - but she was a cleaner at the place I worked, and I saw her multiple times with a face full of bruises. I wanted to ask her about it, but wouldn't know how to do it, if it would be a good idea to just ask about it or who to refer her to. Then suddenly there was this second lockdown, and now I feel bad I didn't try to help her.
She said he had covered a known out break with make up.. This could be herpes or genital warts... I think it's sad that he is sick and needs help.. He needs mental help.. As for FKA she is very brave for outting his abuse.. I feel for her that she went thru that.. I'm very glad she made it out alive..
And that's incredibly manipulative to do. Like, that is pre-meditated. You know you have the STD, you make sure to keep it covered anytime you're intimate. Like, that's next level. Not to mention, he took away HER choice on if she wanted to sleep with him or not, by not disclosing it. Then, had the nerve to tell her it's not that bad... only she is allowed to decide that, not you.
Getting my pop culture news from Dr. Grande now
Facts
😂😂😂💯✌🏼
Same
Lmao same
Hahahaha me too😅
So, he love-bombed her, she thought he was her soulmate, he suddenly dropped the mask and was controlling and abusive. No official diagnosis needed. He’s a narcissistic beast.
And he's using alcohol as an excuse.
@@angel_existential I think alcohol is not an excuse because research shows that people often act out of character when intoxicated largely due to inhibition of violent tendencies that are usually inhibited by the logical and consequence-analyzing part of the brain.
@@angel_existential With that being said, it does not mean that he should not be held responsible for the things he has done, but I think he can argue diminished responsibility due to intoxication.
@@KINGSOP2000 I'm pretty sure my dad fried parts of his frontal lobe with alcohol because he was abusive to both my mother and I even when he was sober. Probably doesn't help that he sometimes downed his anti-depressants with beer.
exactly what I was thinking
It hurts me that when twigs came forward about this, so many people started calling her a liar. I hope twigs get better and her words are taken seriously.
and some people were still defending him despite his confession
I haven’t seen much of that. Most of what I’ve seen has been positive towards her. I mean, you’ll always have a few.
“So many” people
Adam Honesty and decency it was right after tons of guys were claiming she lied even though he confessed 😂
Jessica F I’d bet that if you weighed the number of racist comments against the number of people in America, the percentage would be extremely low.
Asinine? Absolutely, but I think we’ve gotten into the habit of taking the behavior of a relatively small number of people and thinking that it says something about society more broadly. The truth is, you’ll always have a few.
He’s unwilling to apologize without also addressing himself as a victim. Abuse is a choice. Abusers choose to abuse in situations where they feel they can get away with it. I feel FKA Twigs pain. This is a great video, Dr. Grande.
I disagree. If someone is honest about their behavior and takes responsibility for it, forgiveness is the right thing to do. Give them a space to heal and improve.
The only people you need protection of are the ones who deny and stick to their behavior.
Your judging, hateful attitude is toxic.
I'm an abuse survivor.
@@Sebastian-42-69 wrong. Abusers are known liars and say anything to get back on your good side.
@@Sebastian-42-69 While we can hope abusive partners will change, it’s not always realistic to expect that they can and will. Abusers cannot change unless they deal deeply with their entitled and superior attitudes. No superficial changes that they may make offer any real hope for the future. As with everything else, abusers use therapy and batterer programs to game the system: they seldom change their behavior even after completing the programs, and the abuser often tries to use the program to continue control over the victim, asserting that the program is all about how she needs to support him, and trying to use the program to con her into returning home.
I am a survivor of domestic violence.
@@PhoenicianPrincess88 I'm talking about the slow incremental change that happens over years
I would also like to add as well that some people believe that drugs and alcohol are causing the abuse, and that getting him clean and sober will solve the problem. But this doesn’t work: intoxication doesn’t cause the abuse - although it can make the violence worse - so getting him clean won’t fix the abuse. The abuser may claim that child abuse causes him to abuse as an adult, but that is also not a valid excuse, any more than the "Sorry, I was drunk" excuse. Although some kids who were abused grow up to be abusers, 75 percent of them do not. Being abusive is a choice.
When someone continues to engage in a chronic pattern of behavior despite being called out many times and having the capacity to change (and even promising to change), it is confirmation that the behavior is deliberate. Unless they are in a form of psychosis, they know exactly what they are doing. Abusers have plenty of options and opportunities to behave differently but they choose to be abusive instead.
I’m so glad she’s speaking out. He’ll probably just pay to keep this situation out of court. I still don’t really understand how he’s been arrested so many times and just let go. People who steal from Walmart get more jail time than him.
I can qwhite put my finger on it either..
And with multiple DUIs.
Probably because he's rich and has an expensive team of lawyers that can get him out of anything
I help you understand... MONEY... you welcome. There was this raper XXXTentacion look it up. He was cryminal making music he got away with everything because his Music maked money for music industry. If you want justice watch movies, won't find it here.
Przemo l well said!!! Couldn't have said it better, or more honestly!!! FVCK the rich!!! There needs to be a revolution ala the french, and the proceeds of the culling of the rich should go to social programs!!!
He's dangerous. Strangling women is personal. Looking into someone's face while cutting off their oxygen takes time, strength, and more. I no longer care about him or his " need for help". I care about the people he could kill.
it's not a "he lost control and he just needs help" kind of thing,doing that you must not have any compassion towards another human being and that is truly evil.
@@courthogan3140 hot lol
@@courthogan3140 It's become mainstream in sex.
The fact is, when a man escalates to choking and/or raping his partner, they are more likely to kill them before the partner is able to escape the relationship.
@@LuxMeow What Shia did to Tahliah is about as far from consensual BDSM as a boxing match is from getting beaten by a mugger.
Wait. He was driving around shooting dogs? Aren't these traits closer to psychopathy?
That’s what I was thinking, that is over the line!
Holy shit!
That's a serious felony in the city where I live
YES! Too bad had didn't get a behind full of buckshot!
@@lesliecas2695 Leslie please reconsider your comment.
Seems like it would be hard to get away with. An A-list celebrity driving around Los Angeles, discharging a firearm, and leaving dead dogs in his wake?
"I've abused myself and others"
Funny how he puts himself first in that sentence.
Yep a person that harassed me for years said "I let myself down", and that was the apology.
@catwilde__ Omg😂
@catwilde__ . What a jerk. we are so lucky to not know them anymore, but they leave us with trauma and I hate it
People can abuse themselves also. Doesnt mean they are a narcissist
@@TianazBryant24 this is true but this is his response to a victim of his, why does he need to bring up himself? i didn't say narcissist but it's just interesting to note.
I think the fact he's more well known for his behaviour than his career speaks a lot about both. Thank you for your insight on this video!
though dirty laundry gets more clicks than movie reviews
@@toolthoughts ...this is way more damaging than mere "dirty laundry", and will likely affect these women for the rest of their lives..
@@toolthoughts Not the level of movies he makes.
His career is great to be fair, he is a great actor and his last film that he wrote directed and acted in got great reviews.
He's one of the most talented actors of this generation and you're a nobody like that square Dr. Grande
It sounds almost exactly like my ex-husband when confronted with abuse he's caused.."I've abused MYSELF for years" In other words, focus on MY pain.
Maybe you should listen to your ex husband. He sounds like a good guy who did the best he could. Don’t be bitter
@@willnill7946 Idk why you would comment this. It sounds like you're projecting something that happened to you onto her. Every situation is different and you have no way of knowing what happened in their relationship
@@willnill7946 yes, I was the problem. It was long long ago.
@@willnill7946 he was probably a lot like you
@@willnill7946 I'm sure you're being sarcastic. If not then....Shia, is that you? 🤣😂
LaBeouf is the bigger name here, but i'd love to encourage everyone to check out FKA Twigs, she is an amazing artist, that dude could never compare
What happened to her is horrible, but hopefully those who never knew of FKA Twigs can try out Magdalene and specifically Cellophane. Means a lot more now
@Anna C right? I didnt even knew
+
How can he even have the gall to insinuate, let alone berate her for her lack of taste in art, when he's been in the transformers movies lmao.
@@KN-hg2nv his performance art is paper bags and fka is out there doing amazing art. The only thing he has is the audacity
Damn, those allegations are incredibly detailed and it's hard to imagine that they just come out of thin air, and there are so many of them.
Another one of his ex girlfriend, Karen Pho, came out with the same complaint. Similar pattern from Him.
He has a long history of being abusive to Mia Goth and Carey Mulligan. He's done many reckless, bizarre things that have been life-endangering, like driving while drunk with others in the car. He's dangerous.
@WTD Very true.
@WTD I don't think he's going to sweep this under the rug. His attorney will try to cut a deal to avoid court at the last minute. I hope she doesn't take the deal. There are still too many people who don't know his long abusive history.
“Humanitarian to the world of attorneys...”
Another Dr. Grande classic. 😂💖😂💖
I really liked this one too. Lol
I know, Dr Grande’s wit is sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel....
I chuckled hard with that Grande zinger! 😅❤️
he don’t miss
The driest and best humor.
A person can have a traumatic upbringing and other serious problems and not continue the cycle of violence later in life. They become determined not to make the same mistakes
Yes. However he works in an industry that doesn’t care about him except to make money off of him, I imagine he developed an intense defensive coping mechanism. He’s hurting people before they can hurt him, and oscillates between offensive and defensive modes.
Wish more had that attitude. My father came from an upbringing of chaos, violence, and alcoholism. But he rose above it early in life when he met my mom and took over helping raise my older sister. Got a steady job that he still works now, had me, and raised both of us in a happy, stable home. When he tells me about how things were for him growing up, I almost don't believe it, he's so not like that. I remember him having a strong, supportive presence in my childhood. We're VERY different people but I know that I have his respect, and he has mine. I know I can go to him for anything, truly. The man is simply a rock of kindness and reliability. I try to emulate that.
And then, there's the girl I almost married. Every kind of abuse as a child, but swore that using that as an excuse to hurt people was weak and wrong. I tried very hard to be understanding and just be there for her. God knows I meant it, too. But she probably already knew, even as she said that very thing, that she had become an amalgamation of the very people who had previously hurt her. Just wish I had before I found myself subject to it. It was bizarre to see how the stories she told me before became about her in new ways... shock and awe for me, I couldn't begin to process it until much, much later on. I found myself living out her own experiences, in a way.
Funny thing, that. The moment when she told me that was burned into my mind, and kept haunting me when I was dealing with the fallout from my time with her. Nothing could make me more miserable than making the same mistake. And I seem to have avoided that. I try to use her as an example of what not to be, let the resentment remind and empower me to not go down that road and not repeat that relationship in reverse. As long as I succeed, I always feel better. So I don't feel the urge. If anything, I have every reason not to let myself hurt someone like that, because I want to be able to continue to stand tall and truly know that I am not like her. Nothing less will do.
So it's always pushing me to at least try to be a better person and not think of myself as a victim, not dwell on the pain, and not bring more of that darkness into my life through others. Victimhood, desperation, and uninhibition go hand in hand and it's really not pretty. Easy to cast blame, hard to take responsibility. I have a mantra for that: "It may not be your fault, but it is your problem." Be good to people and know how quickly that can be gone. It comes back around. It really does. It is sad when someone self-alienates - 'tragic' doesn't suffice, but I do believe that in many cases that is a product of many, many bad choices.
Truly though... people like that ARE their worst victims. Make no mistakes, a couple of years later, I still hear whispers through the grapevine of the chaos that has happened since that time. People tell me I got lucky. In spite of everything I had to go through, I tend to agree. I can at least say I have people who care about me, and that it's truly reciprocal. If anything, I overcompensate and stretch myself thin trying to be good to people. But I'll take that. I get what I need to be okay with myself without hurting people, and I myself don't truly suffer for it. Most tend to appreciate me for who I am and I pay that forward whenever I can. I can at least say that I have my heart and my head in the right place, and that the outcomes of my choices matter to me.
The damage from abuse manifests differently in different people. They're not wrong, it does start with a problem with self-love. Hard to love yourself when you're in so much pain, haunted by terrible memories. I know that vicariously well. And if you can't manage that, you will hurt others, sometimes without even noticing.
However, if you have the insight to realize that, enough to say it aloud, then you are equipped to chip away at that. But you have to patient and honest with yourself. I think all too often, people like Shia, or my ex tend to speak of it out of a need for validation. And when they get that validation, it goes dormant for a while, but they don't really change. It's like they know of their pain and the source, and even the effect it is having on others, but the doubt keeps them from acting constructively and it becomes a viscous cycle of posturing and dismantling. I can't pretend to understand why... how they can look in the mirror. Perhaps they just don't anymore, treating others like a mirror instead...
@@differentbutsimilar7893 wonderfully written, perfect sum up of the vicious cycle of abuse.
@@differentbutsimilar7893 the end of your comment has the button to press for more maybe it's just not lit up or something but it's very irritating in the Android app that you have to press that thing to verify there is no more and if I'm not observant and maybe because I have blue blocking Etc on including dark mode for RUclips itself. I think that it is good you gave us so much of what you had to say because I wanted to chime in and nothing you have said prevents me from finding it appropriate enough in response. It isn't about the decided people being recovered it's about the process of getting there right? The being accountable to mistakes like perhaps having contempt for tradition including the support of your family before you take on a project like the partner you describe.
There is Jack Nicholson in carnal knowledge which I saw as a teenager essentially while in school but it was already a classic of course. I didn't really have any clue about what that was about and a few people do currently. You say you're not the same as your father an earlier I thought about the words walking together being characteristic of birds of a feather to State the Corollary of what is no longer perhaps even a cliche but may in fact have become tawdry.
I think I understand well enough what you mean by dissemble unless you mean something other than being honest in that definition I have not given your words any thought.
As you may have heard much of the world put the responsibility we take for granted among each of us on to the state. When we founded our country we understood that there were different kinds of people and that letting people have the state kill a person does not make them whole when we did that in the wild west it was out of necessity in terms of not being able to afford prisons with some towns probably killing every decade as many criminals as called who plays their home.
So my naive theory about the business about voting being for those who have land is that perhaps it has to do with accountability that they have something to lose which if you recall was our president's arguments that the people who could not vote in the past should therefore vote for him as they have nothing to lose when people find out what they have done but boy has that proven to be false and it's not him that we hurt exclusively rather we help him by demolishing the high-rise on the Atlantic instead of New Jersey passing a law charging vacant structures twice the occupied tax rate.
in the past we have coarse drafted people and so some of the population left the country which either built character or protected us. Building back better when it comes to the draft would have meant Donald Trump working a day in his life. if you haven't heard of the concept of being your own psychiatrist know that there is a book by David V. of that title who also has a lot of very very different RUclips videos but I don't know of an app that takes advantage of modern technology better even then the coveted 90-minute audio tape. I consider plenty of AA meetings to be bar culture on steroids but often much worse people killing time looking for a hookup not sitting in front of a camera answering a scripted question and watching their performance to their horror. if the well-intended often members of AA had a present-day leader they would have such a smartphone app instead of being impressed by others believing their nonsense they would fail to con themselves. you sound very much like you empathize with our presidents p l i g h t regarding his silk ties never looking the same once a drop of water hits.
go rescue your ex don't be such a quitter! If you have a different partner maybe that can make all the difference this time around. If your partner loves you they will understand your father raised you not to abandon just to keep your current partner or whatever. you need a team of course but you don't have to suffer this type of guilt the answer is not do nothing but look away it never is.
@watercubes 99 "I'm not trying to excuse Shia's action, but here's an excuse." Honey, NO. Trauma does not excuse abusive behavior.
It's not a coincidence that almost every person Shia has dated was someone he was actively working with on a project. Like he saw the person and decided, "I want her, I'm going to make her date me." And since they worked together he had easier access to them.
The day he found a new girlfriend and sent the text message to end up things with Twigs must have been the happiest day of her life! Poor new girlfriend though...
I think hes dating his ex wife again
@@annabellehe4307 Nope -- he's dating Andie McDowell's daughter.
@@LolaJay_ Supposedly she's dumped him as well.
Yes he discarded her and moved on to his new source of supply.
@@lenebrantley221 What is that supposed to mean? The women have dumped him.
Being a victim doesn't give you the right to victimize others. I sincerely hope that Shia gets the help he needs to stop.
Bingo. If anything, I would think it makes hurting other people even *more* despicable.
It is a net negative to the world.
I hope so, too. I'll be praying for him night & day!
@ This is true. I was a victim of my own abusive mother and for some time I inflicted pain on others because of that, but therapy helped me tremendously. This is why I really hope Shia seeks help.
@@rdpcl i hear what you're saying. My dad was extremely manipulative and abusive. Small thing i did was spending this year reclaiming food, I enjoy breakfast now among other things.
"Norman Bates Guide to Dating," Bates, N. 1962. Simon and Shuster. I have a copy of that, it's not too bad except when he talks about his mother in such detail.
😂😂😂😂
😲is it a first edition?
LOL! XD
Yeah, that chapter entitled, "Mummy Dearest" is really over the top.
@@jguenther3049 😂😂😂 brilliant, this could run and run...
He is a better actor than I thought. He comes off as charming, thoughtful, sensitive, caring and misunderstood he sets the narrative as almost an introduction regarding his childhood trauma, addictions, mental health struggles and bad behaviours as almost a ploy to really manipulate those around him. Hope Talia can find peace and support during this time x
Kinda like Johnny Depp...
@@wmdkitty Amber is so much fucking worse shut up lol
There is always 2 sides of every coin
How do you know any of these allegations are true?
playing the victim card
There’s only so many times a person can “apologize “ before everyone learns to just ignore the crying 🐺. A true apology requires sincere CHANGE. Proof is in the pudding.
Good point...but just to note: pudding doesn't prove anything, rather, "The proof of the pudding is in the eating." 😊
When you want to watch the new Dr Grande video, but also want to finish the Dr. grande video you’re already watching 🙋🏻♀️
Kind regards to all from DC. Thx for making me Smile!
gotta go fast
Good dilemma to have!
I can relate LOL
Yes indeed. And these days you could have almost endless access to channels of all kind. I think it isnt that good in long term, but useful in the covid world... 😁
Genuinely hope FKA Twigs survives this situation. He seems crazier than a bag of marbles.
She knows he’s crazy. She’s just playing the game
@@willnill7946 you know her personally?
@@remieva9447 Lol have you seen ONE of her videos?
@@ThingsILikke her music videos are pretty good!
She's not had an easy upbringing either. I suspect there is blame on both sides, but I've a tendency to side with the girl in this one.
If anyone said "She's really into high profile relationship, she's trying to grab some money," just because she dated Robert Pattinson and Shia LaBeouf
Newsflash, FKA is quite well-off herself.
Her story with Pattinson was heartbreaking because people constantly told her that she wasn't pretty enough for Robert etc, and then she went with Shia, not on the peak of his career as Transfomers era already ended way before that, just to be treated like that. Why everytime a victim came out in a high-profile case, people thought about the finance first?
fka is stunning so i dont know what theyre going on about. she isnt attractive in a conventional way but shes still very attractive
but yeah, youre absolutely right
It was all racist abuse from some of RP's Twilight fans at the time, she said they would constantly meme photos of monkeys in reference to her 😳.
Those "people" who made abusive comments to Twigs were primarily fans of Pattinson's ex, Kristen Stewart. They are really horrible women who are stuck in a Twilight bubble who hate any woman who's seen with Pattinson because they say those women are preventing Pattinson from taking Kristen back. It's totally crazy, she's chosen to date women exclusively for the past 8 years, but these freak fans of hers can only accept her if she's Bella to his Edward. It's so sick and it's well known on Twitter, but few other places.
They're doing the same hateful commenting to Suki Waterhouse, his girlfriend for the past 3 years, saying she's never "be as pretty as Kristen Stewart," and that's she's stupid and just dating Pattinson for clout. None of that is true but they just don't stop.
@@una877 Kristen Stewart's Twilight fans you mean. The memes have Kristen as Bella in Breaking Dawn, cutting Twig's head off. They're not Pattinson fans, they're Kristen fans who only want to see her with him and when he dates anyone else, they do that to the poor woman he's chosen. It's so sick. His fans were very supportive of Twigs, same as they are of his current GF.
Never trusted him after his incident with Mia Goth a few years ago. That's when he said "this is the kind of thing that makes people abusive" which is very victim-blaming. Someone doing something you don't like and then you abuse them is not why you're abusive.
100% agreed my first boyfriend used to say that to me. He had a violent father
ALWAYS thought he was an abusive person. I believe these women.
@@ijuyem agreed.
Yet women have always been drawn to him.
@@adamhonestyanddecency5054 such is the case with narcissists unfortunately.
Playing the victim, too.
I'm For Real I disagree. I think they’re drawn to him because he’s dangerous and they find that exciting, if a bit threatening. The initial kindness just helps put them at ease.
If it was kindness most young women were after, they’d choose someone else.
Shia just looks like that guy that was completely normal up until he discovered drugs in high school and then lost his marbles.
The drugs probably put “Holes” in his brain!
@@basedacidfox6759 😂
Having watched the aplomb with which he portrays the Adolescent winning the love of the young girl in the first Transformers I disagree.
It was offencive car worshipping propaganda and his apparently clear conscience about producing it has little to do with any substances. I find it hard to believe then Alcoholics Anonymous allows young children to be in these groups unless they are special groups for mothers with kids because at the time I can't imagine they had special groups for fathers to bring their children to. What they should have had was a Al-Anon group meeting at the same location for such children?
@@markknotten1210 people bring their children to AA with regularity and they definitely did it more 20 30 years ago.
@@alexhatfield4448 look Hatfield it doesn't take much to lead an AA group and your perspective may be accurate but it is clearly shocking for this Channel and myself. My understanding is the people who are going to AA meetings or supposed to be able to speak freely about strictly adult matters at times. Your claim that decades ago there were lots of men who brought their children as a regular thing to their AAA meeting again men not women doing that is in my opinion unlikely to be systemically true. I think you need to learn about the line of questioning you could watch especially if you watch the whole 3 hours from 2 days ago where a member of Congress duly elected believes that the hospital accrediting group is largely responsible for the societal devastation the sackler's continue to impose and will continue to impose if not detained humanely especially the old lady whose face I have not seen seen yet but it's called a doctor and would not survive long on $50,000 or less a year I'm sure she spending that on security every 10 days presently to understate her needs.
His arrest in Georgia was pretty great to watch. He starts yelling about his millionaire lawyers, even though he was arrested because he got belligerent with people who refused to give him cigarettes. He has all these lawyers on retainer but can't buy his own smokes?
Lmao 😂... right?!
He's an alcoholic, dude. If anything, it was painful to watch.
"The Norman Bates Guide To Better Dating" 😂 😂 you're killing me Sir.
Haha 😂
Dr. Grande isn't diagnosing anybody! Just reading them for filth😌
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaa! You Called That Sis!
Shady shade
😂😂😂😂
Amy Malski it’s like a psychiatric tabloid 😂
ahahahaha
I am going to save this vid and replay it on Valentine's day to deter any pity party that may cross my mind. Geez.
Ha ha!
👍🤗
😂
😆😆😆
I don't get this comment
Shia is the kind of cool and engaging guy you meet at a party. You start making small talk and for a few minutes you're all like, "Hey this guy is pretty cool!" And then there's that one freaky moment. It happens quickly and subtly. But it is nevertheless that moment when you say to yourself, "Holy shit. Get me outta here. This. Guy. Is. Crazy".
Literally!!!
tell us your story
Talia Barnett sounds like an amazing human being. I hope she gets every penny.
she is amazing!
and she has good music!
I'm so glad she is bringing attention to the psychological aspects of abuse, and the insidious ways abusers break down their victims to make them feel helpless and trapped.
A lot of people don't understand how others can find themselves caught up in a situation like this, but it really can happen to anyone, and people should be more aware of the warning signs. Abuse isn't just getting hit one day out of nowhere. There's a whole manipulation process that goes on before (and after) that, to condition the victim to put up with increasingly unhealthy behaviors/treatment.
Abuse is about so much more than physical violence (sometimes that's not even part of it)...the psychological element is what haunts victims years later, or even forever.
How can you tell?
@@hamida185 ikr ? i think its mostly in cases like this people tend to believe girls look up false rape allegations
Correction Dr. Grande: he is best known for playing Louis Stevens on Even Stevens xD
This. I can’t see him without seeing Louis. 😂
Yessssss. If a chicken had lips, could it whistle?
Yes! I loved him! It is so sad what became of him.
I am older. I don't know him from that role. I actually know him best from the Transformers movie. And, that one movie, I think was called Domestic Disturbance. Then, of course, all of his legal issues.
Beans!
I’ve always loved Shia but this has been too much. I believe her account of his behaviour which means he needs to get help to be a better person before he kills someone or himself
I've always liked Shia, too, ever since he was a child star. I really, REALLY want him to get help, & I hope he does! Fingers crossed...
She also knew that he was a deranged human being ( shown by the media) but she dated him nonetheless!
He has killed.
He's already killed stray dogs. He needs help before he turns to a human. He shows clear behavioral signs of a serial killer.
The problem with narcissistics is the condition is ego syntonic i.e. self-reinforcing so they don’t tend to seek help and if by chance they do will play the victim as he did until the cows come home.
From discourse online, it’s been really frightening to see some people (in my opinion, recklessly) defend Shia. For example, there have been many comments that ftx was making all of her accusations up for attention, even though shia had already admitted to having been abusive. It’s hard to decipher whether this is because of Shias perceived sincerity during interviews, or perhaps internalized misogyny/anger of the commenters. Anyways, thank you for the analysis dr grande, this definitely cleared up some questions I had about the whole situation and was very interesting!
*fka not ftx
@@JohnDoe-xf8ew Or they didn't pay any attention to the evidence and him admitting it.
I believe twigs. Also.... I’m amazed she’s 32. I’ve been a fan for a while and I thought she was like 24. She’s so beautiful
Please support Shea.... It's just only to defame him..
@Siddarth Pandey I’m sorry what ? He defamed his damn self
He literally admitted to it and also you can’t even spell his name right ...
For real tho she looks so young,i thought she was 18
Guys... this is what happens when ya date a stripper
@@osmanisildak2448 no this is what happens when you beat someone up Osman
This young man needs to be in jail, not movies.
Or a stint in both. 🤔
@@HadenBlake Definitely! 🤗
@Angela Lee, I think your wish will come true. ;)
Amen!
He needs help. He's a "Disney Actor" don't they all go "crazy" such a shame almost all of them. He should get help for absolute NARCISSISM & ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE. Then jail/ prison if he keeps up his ways especially on medication!! God bless 👑🙏🌈💙🌼
She's a multidisciplinary, ground-breaking artist and he puts paper bags over his head.
💥! Mic drop .
He is just the train wreck du jour, soon to be forgotten
Shia Labeuof is ten billion times anything twigs could ever wish she would be... funny cause no one would ever even know who twigs is if she wasn’t Shias ex Hahahaha
Thats why he is such a good multidisciplinary artist.
@@siouxmaelstrom4042 he’s definitely not untalented in acting.
But he’s too much of a dik cheese to look past.
"The Norman Bates Guide to Dating" is pretty good, but I prefer "Ted Bundy's Guide to Old Fashioned Romance and Courtship". It has a nice section on recipes, too.
And Ted Bundy's Guide to Splitting Up.
Jack the rippers Original Treasury of Meat Cuts
one of the saddest parts is how the jury just "throws their hands up" as you said. Abuse victims are often misjudged as being solely responsible for their partner's behavior. Even if it's two celebrities, it doesn't mean suddenly the abused person has an easier way out. If the abuser has more fame or money that's a way to keep a stronger grasp on the victim. It's unfortunate for both because LaBeouf hasn't been held accountable. And fka twigs is suffering at the hands of abuse (if the allegations turn out to be true but considering his track record it is likely) and the abuse of the courts.
No excuses not to get up and leave
@@angellisa2614 I think you missed the part about her trying to leave but him holding her against her will. 5:58
Well it is very odd for her to say that she would have stayed quiet if he not only got help but donated money. Then she sues first instead of going for criminal court and says she would take the money and donate it to the very centers she tried to get Lebouf to donate too. That's very weird.
All that abuse she knows he has done to others and yet she'd be willing to stay quiet. All that gory abuse she says he has done to her yet she'd stay quiet.
Smh.
Remember she said she didn't say anything because she was concerned about his career.
Smh.
So rightfully so the jury, judge and/or his attorney's will want to know then why did you REALLY want to speak out now? Doesn't make sense to care about doing this now, and suing, for money, at that.
@@angellisa2614 thank you. Doesn't make sense. She is nowhere NEAR the typical way of a DV victim. Too many options. She used none of them because she cared about his career? Why? Were you getting money from it or something?
I mean...what kind of excuse???
Courts and law enforcement typically retraumatize the victims and put them more at risk. This is a SERIOUS problem in the family court system for mothers and children. And no one is talking about it.
It interests me that in his response to the allegations, he included HIMSELF as one of his victims.
It shows self-centeredness, and a lack of empathy for others who have been hurt by him.
Btw, you should do one on Tony Kiritsis. Or am I wasting my time?
@catwilde__ ok Dr. Catwilde___
Dirty Magic11 Truly remorseful people do NOT respond to allegations of victimizing others by first asserting their own victimhood. It’s a self-defense mechanism.
catwilde__ Idk if he’s a narcissist, but I DO know that he’s not taking responsibility for his actions.
That would involve caring about the other person enough to selflessly acknowledge her pain.
She essentially said, “Shia really hurt me.” And he was like, “Yeah, I know what she means...he really hurt me too. 😐”
Did you not hear the extensive arrests he had due to alcohal abuse? He's a victim of his addiction. He has not denied or said that he's the bigger victim. He said he has abused himself and others and he is in recovery. What is he supposed to roll over and die? Don't you know anyone that has had any kind of substance problems or mental health issues?
His opinion of himself far exceeds his talent as an actor.
He's actually a great actor.
He is a great actor, but his acting chops are clearly just him playing himself. He almost always plays an abusive shitbag, so probably not too difficult for him.
@@AYKAY88 He has no range.
Dr grande is such a hidden gem 💎 looking so serious, talking about seriously topics with a highly knowledge of his professional skills. But the gems are really his sarcasm and his humor.
Love love love it 🥰
My favorite one is “ the satanic tebbybear”
thank you so much dr grande!! You are the best❤️
My dad use to take me to AA meetings because he was a single parent and couldn’t afford to pay for a babysitter so I disagree that that’s considered bad parenting
Ha ha. Exactly. I Just wrote something similar. If you think about it..better than bringing the kid to a bar...ya know?
Totally. They offered Alanon for kids at the same time in some places so we could talk about how it felt to be a kid in an alcoholic household. Probably the HEALTHIEST thing to happen in my house. Glad you commented...thank you.
I agree
@@pinkyredux4965 you want to put the groups that created an Al-Anon group for the children in the same category as those that didn't and you don't see a problem there?
@@markknotten1210 only problem I see with the fact that only some places were able to offer resources for kids at the same time is they happened to be in the more affluent areas. The meetings that didn’t were in the poorer communities we lived in. I think that says a lot more than a single parent doing what they have to “one day at a time”.
8:09 "He has difficulty controlling his alcohol use." I think this is the understatement of the year.
Not this year!
My childhood is officially ruined...I believe FKA Twigs and because I grew up watching Shia on Disney and admiring his talent, I hope he gets the help he needs and atones for his actions.
He's had SO many chances and only getting older. 😕 Not to mention he has access to every resource available to get help. I am in recovery and part of the thing that keeps me in it is thinking about all the addicts I knew who would have LOVED to be able to get the help and support my family gave me. It really is such a slap in the face to other people struggling when you have all the resources and just don't use them.
@@caseyw.6550 solid point. And congratulations on your recovery journey. Keep up the good work! ,)
@@laVIEchef thank you! Just hit 5 years!
@@caseyw.6550 NICE! ;) enjoy your holiday chickee!
@@laVIEchef You too! 🤗
"LaBeouf managed to accumulate an extensive criminal history, in addition to his acting experience"
Caught that subtle burn there
I hadn’t heard about this; thanks for the hot scoop, doc!
It took me way, way too long to graduate from the University of Narcissism. I hope she is a quicker study than I was.
👍
I have experienced very similar abuse from a male partner, and I know how hard it is to speak out. For this I am so proud and inspired by Twigs for her bravery. FKA Twigs I appreciate you! 🌺
Sounds like every ex I have had smfh without the herpes 😳 These types of men are an epidemic.
He could have had any woman he wanted, but he opted to become an abuser just like his father. The irony is , the abused mostly becomes an abuser. He is a grown man , let him take responsibility because I doubt she went to Law Enforcement without any evidence after two years.
He literally made Honey Boy as an ode to his upbringing. Fell in love with her on set and basically displayed himself to her through the making of the film... And transferred that into the relationship.
I read that as Honey Boo Boo 😂
"Enabling is their worst enemy disguised as their best friend." This is such a true statement, but it's not easy to recognize when you're in that type of situation. It would really help all parties if they could realize this early in a relationship. Thank you Dr. Grande for making that point.
The emotional harm caused by being with someone with NPD can be far more painful than the physical abuse. The scars are all on the inside, they don't heal before the next one comes, sometimes they never heal at all. It's hard to get any support from anyone outside the situation because it's not like there's a bruise or a cut you can point to and say, "he did this to me!" You're not in a relationship with a narcissist - it's just a series of interactions - and in every single interaction they'll be trying to put you at a disadvantage and take more than they give. Emotionally, I was in the red, like a bank account that was severely overdrawn. I'm still damaged from my abuser, the scars are still there 15 years later and sometimes they still feel very raw.
I feel you, I was in an abusive relationship with a BPD sufferer. Almost 10 years on I still have nightmares *and* she moved to my hometown so now I have to look over my shoulder constantly 😣
I hear that. U just described it perfectly! Couldn't have said it better.
Sending you love & prayers. I’m a survivor of a sociopath so I understand exactly what you’re talking about. 💖🌷
I obviously don't know the details of your situation, but I'm sorry for whatever you went through.
These over the top supposed romantic gesture guys are a huge red flag for me. Claustrophobia...ugh!!
And saying they love you so soon. You can't even know if you love someone within a few weeks; you don't know them. The abuser MAY be projecting an image and relationship onto that person that makes them THINK they are in love that quickly or it's some type of manipulation. Either way, it's a huge red flag and abusers often want to go really fast in relationships, so they can tie you down and make it less likely you will leave.
Too much too soon is a HUGE red flag. Crazy gestures are for anniversaries-- and not fake ones like 1 week/month 😆
Covert narcissistic abuse is confusing and manipulative. I have been through it myself.
There is a time and place for performance art
When I studied family therapy and watched the videos that the public is still denied of families in therapy I understood that meant the children would be protected. However now most mental health professionals are not exposed to that curriculum despite being adults and Clueless absent such exposure. So I'm not sure about you LOL!
@@markknotten1210 I'm a 46 year old woman. This was something my ex husband was involved in before our separation/divorce in 2010. Our daughters were with me until summer 2018. He and i share joint custody.
Is it narcissistic abuse to make your partner smell your facts?
Shooting stray dogs is horrible 😰 Shia needs help
"He's a humanitarian to the world of attorneys." 😎
This makes me so sad. He is so smart and talented but he’s such a God damn mess. However, I am NOT condoning him being abusive. I hope everyone involved gets the help that they need. Thank you for this video. 💕
I feel bad for the young Shia LaBeouf I saw 20 years ago on Even Stevens. It really is tragic to see what he’s become.
he shot stray dogs he is dangerous
@@gw2315 WTF when
I blame the dad of Shia since everything his dad affected him mentally.
🙄
Dr. Grande, you should really do a longer video about the type of woman who is attracted to abusive relationships and why. It seems so many women fall into this trap and dont leave when they should. Would be fascinating to hear your perspectives.
Women only leave good relationships
@@willnill7946 ?
@@willnill7946 abusive relationships isolate people to think they are only good enough for that abuse.
@@willnill7946 Not true, those women just stay quiet cuz they work hard at choosing a mate, staying with a good mate, and know not to talk publicly about their husbands unless it is to say good things. All the people on the internet that just left their "abusive narcissist ex of 400 years" but can't get away cuz "he's the father of my 5 kids" are losers that got burned, paying it forward. Same goes for men and their "nasty ice queen cheating ex." They just don't know when to shut up and want sympathy and hand outs.
Guys get into narcissist relationships too, Johnny Depp, Prince Harry maybe. Seems anyone could fall pray because of the good show abusers put on at the beginning of the relationship. 🤔
I would like for you to report on Tom Cruise's outburst and what you think about that situation.
Tom was right, though.
I didn’t listen because I don’t need to. Put a mask on.
I actually just watched him analyze Tom Cruz yesterday.
Yes I saw it and he said everything i was thinking.
"Norman Bates Guide to Better Dating", one of your best Dr. Grande.
It’s Grande time somewhere ....
Those book 'titles' had me rolling in laughter. Also, the shooting stray dogs part is the most disgusting of all 😤
It seems odd. How do you go around gunning down dogs in a major city and not get caught?
Flying bullets, gunshot sounds, dead dogs with bullet holes in them...🤷♂️
Adam 1 animal abuse isn’t always taken very seriously though
You touched on so many important topics in this video - domestic violence, narcissism, law X victims of narcissism, and consequences of alcohol abuse. Great job with the summary and analysis of this unfortunate situation.
This was extremely insightful, thank you as always! ❤️
Narcissist RARELY EVER get better. I doubt him getting any help will help him get better. He’s aware of his behavior and still does nothing to change.
0:33 that picture made me spit my drink out lool Dr. Grande why did you choose that picture loool.
Dr Grande is a low-key savage and I’m here for it 😅
"A criminal history in addition to his acting experience" 🤣🤣🤣
As soon as you mentioned the allegation that he admitted to shooting stray dogs, immediately I thought "That POS!"
holy fuck i didn’t kno about the STD thing!!!! just that in itself is an automatic lawsuit. if you knowingly have an std & don’t tell someone you’re sleeping with about it, that’s an automatic lawsuit. and on top of everything else... i rly hope she takes him for every dime he has.. even tho he may not have much anymore. i don’t know his financial status atm.
Shia is basically the millennial version of Mel Gibson
this is funny because he actually wanted mel gibson to play his father in honey boy at first
Mel rules.
next shia will say he will put her in the rose garden
With less talent.
Considering Shia is Jewish and Mel Gibson went on an anti-semitic rant , your comment makes no sense.
Ah, just what I needed to complete my Saturday- Happy Holiday's Dr. Grande ☃️
Oh, yasss! I was waiting for this video- knew it would be awesome, just like all of Dr Grande’s videos.
In regards to children attending AA meetings, I also find it highly inappropriate.
Children do not possess cognitive and emotional maturity to deal with topics discussed at those meetings, especially when attendees give their testimonies.
Second, when adult family members attend those meetings, they are there partly to support their loved ones. This supportive role cannot be placed on a child. Children should be emotionally supported by parents and not the other way around.
Furthermore, nobody needs to attend an AA meeting to “learn” the consequences of alcohol abuse. If they have a family member who abuse/abused alcohol, they have plenty of examples of what alcohol addiction can cause.
Lastly, although there is a genetic component to alcohol abuse. That is not the only factor that will determine if someone will became an alcoholic. Personality and environment will play a tremendous role on this as well.
I understand the culture and the important message provided during AA meetings. However, in my opinion, those meetings are not designed for children.
You have obviously never been to an AA meeting. You actually took the time to type all of that out and yet you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. People with addictions have to do whatever it takes for their recovery, and that goes double if they have children. Sometimes, that may mean that they go to a 12-step meeting with a parent but a child is never put into the role of a counselor at a meeting lol. Children aren't even involved in conversations at all and many meetings have childcare. You're just being an obnoxious wannabe psychologist, sitting on the sidelines judging people who are trying to be better.
@@JustJesstheMess Yes, exactly. A lot of th time when people take their kids to meetings they have them wear headphones mostly to keep them from being bored and making noise, but if not it is people talking about getting better. Most AA meetings are mostly people who are sober with many who have been sober for a very long time. Of course there are hopefully newcomers too, but it's not all just a bunch of drunk people off the street. I have been sober for 4 years and go to meetings. There are some people with 20 30 40 years or more. And yeah, there are lots of people who are new and trying to get/stay sober who have to take their kids because they can't get a sitter. It's crazy that there is still stigma surrounding meetings. I know lots of people who grew up going to meetings who loved it because the people there are like their aunts and uncles.
By the way I miss my meetings..Where I live in Baltimore city our mayor had made it tough for a lot of the ones in churches to open back up. There are a few in person ones in the city, but mostly in clubhouses(spaces that are owned by the meeting and not rented) My homegroup hasn't met in person since March. Zoom meetings just aren't the same. There are more meetings in the county but it's hard for me to make it out there.
Dr grande you should do an episode on steve jobs and jeff bezos
or....how bout a psycho-analysis of capitalism completely lol
Are there any specific personality traits associated with the desire to become an actor or other public celebrity? I would imagine that narcissism (from the dark triad/tetrad) is one, as is extraversion from the Big Five. I'd also imagine that most celebrities who enjoy their work are low in trait neuroticism.
For Christmas Eve, could you do a profile of Ebenezer Scrooge?
Yes!
Addiction, past abuse or trauma may be the reason someone chooses to abuse another human being BUT it should never be used or accepted as an excuse for abuse.
It can be a reason but not an excuse, kinda confusing.
The moment you spoke about the dogs, that did it for me. That might sound cold that the dog part is what sent me over the edge, but the dogs are 100% innocent, & never had a chance when he used a g un on them. I wish only the the worst for him.
People who are bothered by this don't understand that compassion, love, empathy are infinite. Caring about animals, innocent and vulnerable, does not detract from caring for others. I felt the same as you when I heard that! Dispicable!
Doesn’t it seem like that would be a tough thing for him to get away with? An A-list celebrity driving around Los Angeles, shooting a gun and leaving dead dogs in his wake?
I wonder if she actually saw it or if he just told her.
Same here! Only a psychopath would do that imo....
@@adamhonestyanddecency5054 to be honest, I think he only told that to Twigs to scare her into staying with him. Like he said that’s what he did to trap her into staying. Like “if I did that to them, I’ll do the same to you.” Could’ve been a manipulation tactic. But who knows at this point.
@@giasaleen2its a possibility but hes 100% insane enough to actually do it and manipulative enough not to get caught
My father got sober when I was three and I remember him taking me to one AA meeting because he couldn’t get a babysitter for me but he really needed that help. You don’t have to judge people who bring their children to an AA meeting so harshly.
If you bring your kids to AA meetings because you couldn't get a sitter, that judgment isn't against you or your parent. It's that Shia's dad seems to have dragged him there specifically to show him a slice of his future as it if it was already carved out for him. That's the gross part.
Look, you forget one thing. 2nd hand smoke. We talking 80’s and early 90’s. C’mon you remember?
"He's (Labeouf) really a humanitarian, to the world of attorneys" Dr. Grande 😂
Could you please do a video based on the Gabriel Fernandez Netflix series 🙂 how and why can a mother treat a child so abhorrently ?
I don't know. That case might just be too painful to explore in-depth. I don't know about you but I couldn't stop the tears when watching that series.
Would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on Alcoholics Anonymous.
So I'm often approached recently when visiting a childhood Park by alcoholics who asked in various levels of transparency if I am there for the reason they are appearing. Some of them are drunk.
The doctor has expressed a very very apparently controversial indictment of his father for taking the future actor to the meetings. Because alcoholism is considered a medical condition and health Insurance can be procured at the same price a teetotaler of the same age and gender Etc all but smoker would pay I would hope that the doctor would say if you can compliment it with a more costly but largely insurance retained element then go for it but definitely not without that more standardized hopefully higher-quality elements. I think that John cheever's daughter must say a lot about a a but let me give you an example of a substance that makes alcohol seem a joke. All of the over-the-counter energy meth like powders pills liquids not just the sweet cream Galore and cane sugar concoctions at a outrageous prices Blue Collar wage families pick up daily on their way to work.
I think the Port Royal of Alcoholics Anonymous on the ABC television broadcast network dramatic multi-year series NYPD whatever that shows name was was very compassionate. Detective sipowicz had to deal with the sponsor who was not a good match for him. He tried to team up with that man and be active as his own sponsor in concert. I have been in the line at pharmacies when the old ladies buying the high-proof bottles wordlessly get rung up. We need a 911 system that is so different and incorporating video and insurance that you can reach out to peers without risking being tracked down. we have the technology now to address isolation beyond the imagination of just a few years ago. We need to step up our game. We need artificial intelligence augmentation of video groups that are volunteer and not. Isn't a common damage of children of Alcoholics being overly adult from too young an age? If it is true that the organization has condones children being in these adult groups it should be liquidated if there is any thing to liquidate? we will need it if obamacare's goes away but until that happens the risk of single alcoholics walking into a lion's den alone is a reason to shut the groups down immediately for new members at least before they have it prescribed with adequate supervision Etc
Yes! That would be very interesting! Agreed! 👍🏻
Damn Dr Grande! Your verbal barbs are razor sharp 👏👏👏
i am soooo sick of people using their terrible childhood as an excuse for being abusive. my childhood was dark af, but i made the decision as an adult to use that sh!t to make myself stronger and more compassionate. no one had a perfect childhood, but most of us don’t allow that to define us and/or determine the person we become. i have zero sympathy for the ones that do.
But it wasn’t just a choice that you made right? It was some sort of willpower within you to BE different. Where does that come from and why can some ppl pull from that willpower intuitively and others have to constantly seek it out? I’d count myself in your court, but damn, I know that DAILY I still fight the bs from my childhood, and there are certainly days it wins.
It’s not a large leap to see how having more losing days than wins could turn me into someone getting zero sympathy. Which is sad because who else could possibly understand but others who went thru similar shit?
This dr is extremely intelligent and efficient. You can see no nonsense, just plain information. Well done my good doctor.
I like Twigs but I didn't even know about this. Thanks for the information Dr Grande.
I would love to hear an analysis of the similarities between Andy Kaufman and GG Allen. I think they both assaulted their audiences in different ways.
4:07 wtf, shia criticized fka twigs for the lack of taste of Art??? Her discography is universally acclaimed and she IS THE ART herself.
Beautifully said this was like poetry she really is glorious 🙏🎆✨✨✨
Thank you for touching more on this topic. I knew he was weird but... weird would be an understatement. My heart feels for Twigs.
I had a shit upbringing but that doesn't mean I have to treat others like shit too.
I've always perceived him as unstable...
Sure you did
@roy edwards Yeah, and ? Problem?
An interesting and thought provoking analysis with so many important points! As I was listening, it brought to mind the importance of standards and personal boundaries and how these could have empowered her to say no to him and end the relationship after it became abusive. His abrupt change in behaviour after their whirlwind romance and marriage brought to mind a quick analogy.
If "Joe" decides to buy a new vehicle and after several test drives becomes enamored by the driving experience, performance and lines of one vehicle he decides to sign the contract to purchase. However, when "Joe" returns to the lot to pick up his new vehicle the dealer brings out a trade-in from the last "push, pull, drag" sale instead of the vehicle of his dreams he had originally purchased. Undoubtedly, Joe would say "the deal's off" and ask that the contract be rescinded because this was not the vehicle he had originally purchased. It's an example of a bait and switch not unlike Shia's drastic change in demeanor soon after their marriage. Sadly, although this was not what she signed up for she decided not to end the marriage and endured violence and abuse until he decided to terminate it. It's unfortunate she wasn't able to access the resources needed for victims of domestic violence to help her navigate this difficult situation. Anyway, many thanks for another fantastic video!😊
Fascinating....sometimes I think you let people off too lightly, but then I so value your fairness - not absolving nor convicting.
Just got out of a relationship with someone who did many the same things Shia did to Talia. I WISH I could sue!!
I hope your okay 🙏✨✨✨✨✨
Being a victim of emotional abuse I agree. The court just ignores it.
I swear, unless your abuser has beaten you up or stolen a bunch of money from you, any other type of abuse is largely ignored.
Hi Doc! I'm not sure if you covered this topic yet but can you do an analysis on people who get drastic and extreme plastic surgeries to the point where they're unrecognizable from their former selves? (notable examples: Pete Burns, Lil Kim, Jocelyn Wildenstein)
Great idea.
Thanks for the video, Dr Grande!
I have another request for a video: what can I do when I suspect a coworker is victim of domestic abuse?
I don't see her anymore because of the lockdown over here - but she was a cleaner at the place I worked, and I saw her multiple times with a face full of bruises.
I wanted to ask her about it, but wouldn't know how to do it, if it would be a good idea to just ask about it or who to refer her to. Then suddenly there was this second lockdown, and now I feel bad I didn't try to help her.
She said he had covered a known out break with make up.. This could be herpes or genital warts... I think it's sad that he is sick and needs help.. He needs mental help.. As for FKA she is very brave for outting his abuse.. I feel for her that she went thru that.. I'm very glad she made it out alive..
And that's incredibly manipulative to do. Like, that is pre-meditated. You know you have the STD, you make sure to keep it covered anytime you're intimate. Like, that's next level. Not to mention, he took away HER choice on if she wanted to sleep with him or not, by not disclosing it. Then, had the nerve to tell her it's not that bad... only she is allowed to decide that, not you.