Ladies, and Gentlemen NO DISRESPECT INTENDED WITH MY COMMENT but if a partner, boyfriend or girlfriend whatever comment to you HEY, I WANT TO BBQ YOUR RIBS or do the type of SHIT MANSON DOES OR ANYBODY it’s called a RED FLAG I CANNOT BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH MY COMMENT DAMMMMMM
The thing about SA is it doesn’t just negatively effect the survivor, it effects every single relationship that survivor has for the rest of his or her life. There are still moments 30 years and lots of therapy later, my husband has to deal with the consequences of one man’s actions towards an innocent child. My children don’t know it, but it effects them as well, they don’t go on sleep overs, their relationships with adults get constantly scrutinized and are kept at a distance. Some men I’ve come into contact with get immediately distrusted, through no fault of their own, because of that abuser. It is truly a crime that keeps on “giving”. It gets better, and it gets easier, but it never goes away.
Too much security is just as bad as not enough. Your children should never have to suffer because of what someone else did to their father. You are robbing them of their innocence and childhood.
I can relate to this 100%. I was brutally raped in 2011 when I was 18. He had 130lbs+ on me & I begged him to stop and tried pushing him off but he didn't stop attacking me. I confronted him after the assault and he even admitted raping me only to say, "I wasn't woman enough to handle him." The reason I never called the police is because my dad had been going through health issues his whole life and I didn't want to add more stress to my family. Also, my dad was a former cop who had also been traumatized so I knew if my dad found out, he'd kill the guy. Thus, I kept it mainly to myself telling only a few of my very close friends until I finally sought therapy. If I took him to court, I don't want his money - I would just want him in prison. I was also assaulted by a professor in 2015. It's a long story and I'd rather not get into it. Howevee when I went to the school counselor, they did little to help me. I also went to another adult on campus, a professor of mine who had served as my mentor and he essentially did nothing when I let him know looking for help. This attack is in association with a MAJOR university and the statue of limitations has not ended which is why I'm not giving many details as I have always wanted to seek justice for the trauma I have faced. I have lived with the long-term affects of these attacks. I have PTSD, chronic depression and anxiety. It's unfair that all of my relationships have suffered because of these attacks.
@@abeltesfaye_ Something like this may help some people but it will certainly be used to destroy an innocent man. But One injustice deserves another right so who cares..
@@jerryhampton5755 you do realize false assault allegations only occur 2% of the time which means 98% of assault allegations are true, right? Stop looking for ways to discredit survivors
@@JocelynFT I think she has been abused by Manson in certain ways. Yet is lying also about a lot of things. It's hard to believe her at all now. But yet I do believe there was something going on. Evan needs help. She's the one destroying her life now.
Wife (telling me about a argument with a coworker): so what do you think? Was I wrong? Me: I’m not diagnosing anybody here just speculating on what might be going on in a situation like this
I wish my mother could understand all this. Just because my abuser died doesn’t mean my emotional problems are over. He got away with it. It never goes away.🤠❤️
It's very disappointing and disheartening when women downplay sexual assault and sexual abuse. The memories remain fresh throughout the victim's life, and sometimes the victim just needs a friend or family member to talk to and they are often told, "You have got to stop talking about it and move on with your life! Just think about something positive!" If only it were so easy. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I will send prayers to ask Him to bring you peace as you continue to deal with the trauma. 🙏
As a survivor, I cried like a baby when you were saying how to support victims. Thank you for making this video and explaining the signs and how to help, people often have the best intentions but don’t realize how long the pain stays with you.
It’s nice to have that empathy, but we have to remember not everyone in our lives are therapists and not everyone in our lives have to deal and be the best person they can be for our sake. I’ve been a straight shitty person and jeopardized my life in terrible ways. It’s not another person’s responsibility to take that on when I confess things to them. It freaks people the fuck out. As it should. Their own life shouldn’t have to revolve around taking care of me. That’s selfish and unfair. There comes some point where you have to be able to deal with it, functionally, and not make it a central burden for everyone you love and/or want in your life.
@@yusefendure it’s so difficult for me. I think about my own experiences and people around me more less intimate, “Well, it wasn’t full on rape, why are you so upset?” My first time I was still a child, and it was my older brother’s friend. In a place I thought of as safe. When I was a grown ass adult and an employer grabbed me and bent me over a table because we were alone was the scariest thing I have lived through. That was a moment you shut down and go into survival mode. Don’t fight, don’t antagonize. Or you’ll get hit harder. Be limp, friendly and complainant and negotiate your own release.
@@shrryph I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's horrible. I'm glad that you're able to discuss it and I'm glad you survived it. I have a friend who almost always rejects any accuser's claims of abuse as 'gold-digging' or 'she's just trying to get rich and famous.' He just doesn't get it and probably never will. It's infuriating to listen to that type of ignorance. I was physically assaulted by my parents as a kid. I got whipped with a belt or switch daily and I did whatever I could to survive it. 'Don't fight...or you'll get hit harder' was exactly my mindstate. I was never sexually assaulted, but there were several attempts that I narrowly escaped. 'Well, it wasn't full on rape, why are you so upset?' That's almost verbatim what I've heard for many years on this subject. Sorry, but the denial of this disgusting type of act or the flat out rejection of it DOES do damage. Your words hit home. Again, thanks for sharing, and stay safe...and strong!
I was molested from the time I was four to 10. It was my dad’s sister’s husband. I don’t call her my aunt because she said I “seduced him” and I don’t call him my uncle. I call him “it.” They aren’t “my” anything. He didn’t directly tell me not to say anything, but my dad was an abusive, angry man so I think: I was a prime target and I wouldn’t say anything because of how my dad was. I don’t trust people right away and actually have a long list of characteristics that I need in order to trust someone. Right now the only person I trust is my husband. Before it died, I wrote him a four page letter, front and back, telling him how what he did affected my life. My dad and brother continued to see this man, and after it came out in the open my dad asked/said “He didn’t really do that to you, did he?” How he was caught: he used to like to take me to the beach (grew up in So Cal). He would use this opportunity to rub sunscreen on me (this is hard to write) and a man saw him doing it and said he was going to call the police, which he did. It was arrested, I was taken to the Orange County courthouse or some building and they made me reenact the abuse with dolls. It was humiliating. When my parents arrived they made me tell them, also humiliating. It told my dad “I didn’t hurt her!” Meaning physically, but the abuse was intertwined in every romantic relationship I’ve had, how I saw myself, how I thought everyone else saw me, the works. My parents never talked to me about it at all after that. It was swept under the rug and life went on
Omg that sounds horrific! It sounds like a monster! Not a man 😒 I honestly think sexually abusing a child is about to just as bad as murdering them…they may not be murdering them physically but they murder the child’s spirit, their sense of innocence. Hugs to you Mama! I hope you’re doing well today. I’m happy for you that you found a supportive ally in your husband, that’s so important! Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. The person who abused me justified the abuse by also saying he didn’t “hurt” me since he just “touched” me and nothing else. I struggle a lot with what happened and try to make sense of it all. I notice my romantic relationships often suffer due to this. I’m so happy you found your husband and you two were able to build a trust. ❤️
This hurts my heart for you. Please know that sharing so transparently is helping others, possibly giving courage to someone afraid to reach out for help. I sincerely hope writing about it was healing in a way. It's hard enough without judgement from those who don't understand. I appreciate everyone's openness bc the public needs to be educated. All the best to you ❤️
@@MissBmoney I’m sorry you went through that, too 😢. My husband has a sister that was molested so he is pretty understanding. He has three sisters and it was his older sister. His mom cut off contact with the creep (it was his mom’s brother and they were really close before that). No one else in the family cut off contact. I’ll never understand that dynamic in families, where they stay in contact with the pedo. Members of my family did that so I cut off contact with them. Unfortunately, my husband’s mom was murdered in 2004 and I never got a chance to meet her.
@Ja Ja DingDong troll troll trollll~ she is. Did you also think she was lying when she came out about her abuse years ago without mentioning names? Look at edwins video on this
For me, one sentence summarises our society's attitude towards abuse: "I saw it but thought it would not get any worse". As long as we think such behaviour is OK in small doses, nothing will change where abuse is concerned. When is abuse - any kind of abuse - ever OK? Even in small doses, it is not OK!
I came home one morning and my boyfriend started tossing me all over the apartment. As my stepfather quickly headed for the exit door, he said, "Don't hurt her", as the abuse continued and I lost the child I was carrying. Thanks, dad.
@@caroleemorais7920 I'm so sorry for your horrible experience and your loss. I truly hope you got rid of that boyfriend and the cowardly stepfather. What an idiot he was!
A child raised in abuse may recognize it as wrong but still follow patterns familiar to them and choose an abusive mate. After 3 relationships where it turned out once out of the honeymoon stage, all were abusive, I realized it was best for me to go it alone. 15 years single, happy, and not looking.
“The insecurities are more pronounced because of the abuse itself… so it’s this vicious cycle that rewards the abuser for gaslighting. Their ability to gaslight becomes enhanced due to their own abusive behavior- the more the perpetrator commits abuse, the more they can blame the survivor for what is happening to the survivor.” - This is profound, Dr. Grande.
I am already a fan of your videos, but I have to say - videos like this truly help make the world a better place because the global public is waking up to predator patterns, narcissistic behaviors, and sexual abuse. I think it’s great when you highlight those courageously coming forward. God bless!.
@@catT5236 Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@catT5236 Here is the biggest Blind Spot you have in your analysis: And it’s Very Simple: Why didn’t Evan choose a good-looking “nice guy” to share her life and time with? The answer is Extremely Obvious: She WANTED Marilyn Manson, and everything that comes along with that: THE EXCITEMENT, THE S&M, THE DANGER, THE LUST, THE PAIN, THE PLEASURE. She was with him for FIVE YEARS. Give me a break. Women are not children, yet this grown woman wants us to believe that she didn’t choose that situation. She absolutely chose that life, and now she regrets it. What a child.
I think it's quite dangerous and unprofessional to give your 'opinion' on open legal cases. 1) What do you think of Manson's recent lawsuit, backed up with documents, that ERW impersonated an FBI agent while contacting women to join her cause. One of the women who was contacted blew the whistle and said Evan was coaching her testimony 2) What do you think of the fact that ERW has provided no physical evidence of the abuse she endured, 3) What do you think of the fact that her testimony about being raped on camera while shooting a video was contested by all the production people who were there in the room and said they didn't see it happen. I have no idea whether her story is true or not, and neither do you, Dr. Todd. That's up for a court to decide.
I am surprised that Dr Grande gave a one sided podcast. And somewhat disappointed. I agree with all your comments and i thank you for having the courage to do so.
Agreed. And the biggest thank you to Evan Rachel Wood. The emotional strength it must've taken for her to come forward. I felt validated and sane after hearing Evan's gut-wrenching testimony.
Same for me, I had a long term relationship with a man 18 years older than me. I left him because I was ashamed of how I had allowed myself to be manipulated by him, by the end I felt nothing but pity for him. I left with nothing except a few clothes and the cat despite my being the only one who worked the whole time, I was just glad to get away.
I remember telling someone (a friend) I was abused sexually, and they responded with "and you couldn't just stop them? why didn't you leave immediately?" with a shrug. I realized that not many can understand what being mentally and sexually abused meant, and that I had to work out my issues on my own.
Wow what a horrible friend! Like what they couldn’t have said anything else first at least like I’m sorry that happened just straight to victim blaming, fuck them. Hope you’re doing good and getting help to heal from the abuse, and may your days be filled with love and laughter
Yep, people just don't understand.. and lots of times I don't understand my own reactions and actions.. I find it's usually a case of misinformation or a lack of education when people respond inappropriately.. so I try not to take it personally.. but yeah, I wasn't believed the first time I told someone.. so I never spoke about it again for 10 years.. not helpful
Some people may not understand what it’s like, but it does not mean they have to be assholes about it. They can educate themselves on the topic, instead of dismissing you like that. They are being immature. Hope, you found someone who understands and supports you. There are people out there who would )
@@te9591 I had a college professor who taught a relationship psychology course. She was Puerto Rican from the Bronx and just the toughest person imaginable. When we got to the topic of abuse she admitted to being in an abusive relationship for many years to the class. Frankly I was shocked. My image of a victim was a helpless maybe naive or vulnerable person. She told the class that anyone. Anyone can end up in an abusive relationship. it has little to do with strength.
“Recovering alone is quite difficult.” Truer words were never spoken. I went it solo for too long. I’m grateful to have a small support system now. Thank you for a sensitive take on this issue.
I am a survivor of years of prolonged sexual abuse so I am no stranger to it, however I think that before we jump the gun and start accusing this man before he has been charged we need to take a look at what happened to Johnny Depp. There is much more to the situation than what most people know and once you start looking into the facts the story falls apart. Miss woods is very sophisticated in her attempt to prosecute him and is very well read, she's much more slide than Amber heard. Obviously I stand behind and support anybody who's actually been abused, but we as the society cannot be jumping to conclusions all the time even if there seems to be a bunch of people on board. Just make sure you do some deep investigating before you jump to any conclusions on this fan. And I'm not a fan by any means of him but I am a fan of the truth
You are completely correct, the truth will come out just like it did with Johnny Depp. EWR was embarrassed by her performance in the video heart shaped glasses so created this allegation to avoid taking responsibility.
I agree with your comments. The allegations need to be taken seriously and properly investigated but you can’t just decided that Marilyn Manson did these horrible things based only on the words of Evan Rachel Wood
Agree, but that includes not assuming that ERW is lying because she is female. Let's see objective evidence. I love MM's music so I would be sad to hear his abuse is true. But, I want to know the truth. Not, conjecture. .and men are statistically are more likely to abuse their partners and get away with it.
As a childhood sexual abuse survivor, 58 years old and still struggling with depression, I can attest to the long term, life-time damage of sexual abuse. Yes, we can survive and choose not to be victims but it's a scar that forever changes us and never leaves us. Love and power to all other survivors.❤❤❤
I am 55 and am beginning to realize that early sexual abuse set me up to accept more of it in my life that I blocked out but came back to me later. I'm okay, but I think it all had an effect on me. I was also 19 when I was having issues with my mental health and was homeless and an older personality disordered man took over my life for a while and there was lots of abuse. I have PTSD now from many thing, not just sexual abuse. I try and deal with anxiety every day.
@@catherinewylie6959 I understand, and I'm here for you. Truly. Anytime anyone who needs a shoulder, i have more than one, and I'll always find the time if you need it. That goes for anyone!
When I first saw the title, I was worried that this would be an analysis of the veracity of her claims. Instead, This was an amazingly insightful look at sexual abuse and the mental health ramifications. You treated her claims with the seriousness and dignity that aIl people who make these allegations deserve. It seems clear that you have a lot of experience dealing with survivors. And even though your tone was very professional and calm, I could feel the compassion that you have for her and anyone else who has gone through this.
So, what your saying is your happy someone did not question if she was gas lighting MM and the public for fame and profit like all the other Hollywood nut jobs out there.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@wildmercuryfilms true you can't judge a book by its cover we don't know that she wasn't gaslighting him and for her to walk into a relationship not knowing I call b******* she was doing the same stuff. It's technically the same old story nice Catholic school girl meets extremely bad man. What was that old song "she met him at the candy store, he rode a motorcycle." I call b*******, she accepts no responsibility for her part in her relationship.
As a SA survivor, I almost didn’t watch this video just because of potential triggers. However, I truly appreciated Dr. Grande’s sincere compassion and understanding. I cried buckets.
As a disabled surviver, I try to talk about these types of things online. It’s never easy, it’s essentially reliving it over and over again- but abuse and assault cannot ever be forgotten no matter how much people try to. I don’t speak on others behalf, and honestly in a way not my own because there is no gratification in being called a liar or told that “it’s not that bad” or that “I should have known better” so many times over. I speak because no matter how painful it is to do so, we cannot pretend it doesn’t happen. Thank you for speaking about the subject, and I appreciate your respectfulness very much.
Oh, yeah, the good ole YoU aRe an aDuLt, yOu shOulD kNow to aVoiD thEse sItuAtions. Thanks, mate. Fucking hell. Thank you for being so brave in talking about it. You’re a strong person )
Electra Solstice ❤I'm sorry to hear of your abuse! Not only does my heart brake 😢hearing this I find myself having a visceral reaction. I want to beat them up! Although I would never act on such feelings. I'm not a violent person. Please know that I'm not the only person outraged by the story of your abuse. And bought to tears. 💕 Electra Solstice
Anyone can repeat an abuse story with seemingly heartfelt emotion. Her body language is another thing. I was an Evan Rachel Wood fan and because of this I watched " Pheonix Rising". I knew nothing about Marilyn Manson. Evan Rachel Wood's account just does not ring true to me for many reasons. Neither do any of her interviews about this. I am an abuse survivor. I will be doing further research. The truth will be revealed. Seems strange that she is friends with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp is very good friends with Manson. And look what is coming out about Amber Heard by her own admission (recordings made by her to defame Depp but is doing the opposite) and by the credible testimony of others. What really happened with Wood and Manson? We shall see.
Doing drugs together does not necessarily equate that two people are friends. At least, with the Manson situation, along with this detailed story, is a trail of other equally abused women experienced similar patterns and behaviors over years. TBH, Depp romances have usually been public over the decades. Until this train wreck of a divorce, he has never been accused of being abusive in relationships. Quite the opposite for Manson.
To any sexual abuse survivors, you've got this! Everyday is a chance to bring happiness and each time will make the next easier to enjoy. Know you are worthy of love and joy just as much as anyone on this planet so take it with both hands!!
Thanks. And I don’t believe her. She must need money or something. Be relevant. Attention. I’ve follow MM and his ex wife has come out to put things straight.
Thank you Belize! Ditto! ❤ I AM an abuse survivor and I absolutely believe her. Just because someone is talented and has a following doesn't make them unable to abuse a woman. I recognize that there are men wrongfully accused of abuse, but I don't think MM is one of them. I believe her for the very reasons Dr. Grande pointed out in this video. I know firsthand how I dealt with my past abusive relationship, and her actions are very similar to what mine were. No one will ever know what happened between the two of them privately but them. However I see alot of parallels between my story and hers, and that is not something that is easy to fake.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
As a school psychologist, this resonates so deeply with my professional experience. I got chills listening to the summary. My thoughts are with every survivor.
I think more school shrinks should stand up, & be vocal when a female teacher sexually assaults their male students. We see too many female teachers who get away with committing statatory r@pe, when the victim is a male student, & what's worse if she gets pregnant, she can have the courts further victimize her victim with child support payments.
When you stated sexual abuse starts mentally that really hit home. I remember in high school I was trying to articulate to my parents why I didn’t want to be around my ex boyfriend who would constantly show up at my house, job and events I went to... and my mother said to me it’s not like he raped you. I was 17 I’m almost 36 now and I have yet to seek real help for this. My experiences with him really have affected me through the rest of my life especially since not even my own parents acknowledged the manipulative behavior I was subjected to and the future stalking I would endure.
Hi tiff @ co. That's my daughters name.. I just wanted to share this with you as a fellow survivor. Let.THEM live with their sin, shame guilt.. whatever you want to call it. Shake it off YOUR shoulders. I'm sure you have done your own things that you dont like.. deal with them. They were your choice. Things done TO YOU, not the same. Dont entertain those thoughts because it will always give the oppressor power over you. You deal with what you had choice over..let them deal.with what they did. On the day they die, it will come to them. One day at a time is the best advice I have.. because you can only live one day at a time. Yesterday is gone.. tomorrow is based on how you feel today. Hope you have somebody to love you today. Keep your thoughts, in today. Bad people do bad things. You didnt do them.. be happy.
@@deansley174 no. Some of us are survivors, and we go on to met wonderful men. They are out there.. the bar is not so high once you get out of the bad stuff. Kindness is all you want, really. Abuse sucks, but it does put things into perspective.
This is a good statement. I had asked in a comment if he ever struggles with the problems of others infecting his psyche and if he needs to take steps to be on top of this. I think it’s too personal and he wasn’t inclined to respond
My heart breaks because there are so many comments here by people surviving abuse. I was never sexually abused. I can't even imagine the hurt and betrayal by someone that is supposed to love you. I'm 55 years old and it can still bring me to tears and I will literally quake with fear when I think of my first grade teacher. She terrorized me for the entire year I had her. She was cruel and sadistic. Worst of all she convinced me not to tell my mother because my mother would be so disappointed with me if she knew what a bad girl I was. My mother was a widow who of course work full-time supporting me and my five other sisters. This woman convinced me that I was just a bad and worthless child. I was paddled with the board on numerous occasions. This was the first time in my life I have ever been struck by anyone. I would sit in my chair and worry what I would do next that would make her paddle me. I can think of two occasions that were absolutely ridiculous reasons to paddle me. I took too long getting tissues out of the nurse's office. The most ridiculous one was that I pretended I had Amnesia while I was playing at recess. I had seen it the night before on Gilligan's Island. I can remember often being stood up before my fellow classmates and ridiculed as they were encouraged to join in. I started not wanting to go to school. My mother couldn't understand why so she took me to a psychiatrist to talk to me to see if there was an issue. Of course after I spoke to the psychiatrist I watched my teacher then come into the office and speak with the psychiatrist. I remember that I lied to the psychiatrist about everything. I was so certain I was going to be locked up in an institution and taken away from my mother. It was many years later that I told my mother about what I went through. In the year 2000 they had a special ceremony at the elementary school. She no longer taught first grade but she remained a teacher in the school district until her retirement. I went to that ceremony with the plan to confront her. She didn't recognize me at first but when I started to remind her of all the different reasons she paddled me she knew my name right away. Shortly after I started speaking I began to cry but I was able to ask her if she thought that the above-mentioned reasons she paddled me we're justified. I reminded her how we both went and saw that psychiatrist because my mother couldn't understand why I didn't want to go to school. She had a shocked look on her face and look very uncomfortable because there were people around listening to the conversation. Because I was crying as I spoke I am pretty sure she is the only person that knew what I was talking about. I again asked her if she felt that striking a six-year-old with a piece of wood was OK. She said no and said " well all I can say is I am sorry and aren't we lucky that times have changed and we've learned so much from all those years ago." She use the old well that's how things were back then. Her excuse for what she did to me were it was just how they taught in the 70s. I apologize for the long and rambling story that has nothing to do with sexual abuse. I shared it for two reason. The first reason I shared it was because I wanted people to understand that abuse of any kind has a long-term impact on people. The abuser just gets to move on to their next victim. The victim gets to live with the abuse and it's Impact for the rest of their lives. The second reason I shared my story is because I want to say that Susan Schneider my first grade teacher at Willow Street Elementary, in the Lampeter-Strasburg school district, in West Lampeter Township, Lancaster PA was my abuser.
My teacher did not paddle 7 year old me, but she did regularly call me names and encourage the class to laugh at me. I was a second grader in third grade English and the bitch just didn't like it. And because they had the permission of an adult with power over them to do so, they bullied me viciously and it followed me all of the way through my senior year of high school. The town I come from is run down and trashy, and at my school everyone knew everyone else's business. Worse, she used to refer to me as the principal's "girlfriend" and taught the other kids to do the same. This was particularly awful because he was doing things to me I won't repeat here. Four teachers in that crappy school system were arrested eventually for sexual relationships with students, one from middle school. There should be an intense psychological screening test for anyone trying to get a job working around children.
When hearing a woman describe sexual abuse, often what they say just "rings true". Having you explain specifically WHY you believe Evan Rachel Wood based on your experience makes the examples you gave very concrete in my mind. Thank you Dr. Grande
I didn’t really hear any concrete examples. This entire story and analysis was nothing but abstract. I’m sure Evan Rachel Wood is being honest, if a professional senses that, but “sexual abuse” is kind of a vague allegation. We can’t really know what Manson’s being accused of without seeing the 2011 police report. It might be more helpful if Dr. Grande actually provided concrete examples of boundary crossing, gaslighting, or things we might see in potential abusers.
@@Catlady-mw4en several women have accused him of biting hard enough to draw blood. watch "jenna jameson on the howard stern show", for examples of what his specific deal is. its tricky in cases where someone's behavior is far outside normal boundaries, but when the abuser is open and honest about things, it begs the question, "was it abuse if she was well aware of what she was getting into"?.
@@ice-iu3vv omg, what the hell? I’ll look for that interview. The key is consent, though, IMO. To me, abuse requires a lack of consent or intimidation.
I agree totally with the psychological part of sexual assaults. They start slowly and the perpetrators do make you feel safe for awhile. Unfortunately there are still people who believe the sexual abuse can just be forgotten but you never forget or put it somewhere in tucked away to comeany years later. This was one of your best presentations Thank-you so much💞🇨🇦
And gere we are 4 months later and we now know that Evan and her gf has lied about all of this for financial gain. They impersonated an fbi agent and commited fruad.
The principle of being considered innocent until proven guilty is how the courts work, but ONLY how the courts work. We in the public square have absolutely no obligation to believe a rapist is telling the truth about assaulting women. In fact, even when rapists are taken to court, the majority of them get away with their crimes, so it's actually the victims who are "guilty until proven guilty" - both in the court AND in the public square. So step off your high horse, please. manson is a rapist.
@@brandybobandy2194 "So step off your high horse, please. manson is a rapist.". Stepping off of our high horse would make talking with you up in your ivory tower rather difficult. You don't know that MM raped anyone. You have no reason to believe a thing ERW alledges. You have no basis of which to come to any well informed conclusion. If you were at all intellectually honest, you'd realize that this whole debacle is a giant He Said, She said. Wait for this to be taken to trial. Allow EWR and MM to present their cases and then form an opinion. Siding with someone in cases like this prior to knowing as many facts as possible is very ill advised. People have been executed due to bad standards in the judical system. I think I speak for most when I say mistakes like that, no matter how fatal or not, are things we'd all want to avoid.
@@jeffreymercado2082 youre giving your OPINION just like everyone else. there is NO evidence that Marilyn Manson did anything like that. as a matter of fact, MOST of the people in Evan and Manson's live are on Mansons side. Evan Rachel Wood is emotionally and mentally disturbed. Her own family has admitted this.
I greatly admire people who speak up after having suffered sexual abuse. I am a survivor who never felt safe enough to open up about it. This happened in my youth. I am 66 and I am still affected by it. Thankyou Dr. Grande for addressing this painful topic.
I read MM's autobiography a couple of years ago (not a fan, just have an interest in the evolving new music scenes in Britain and the U.S.). He was very forthright about his exploits, the humiliation and manipulation he heaped on young people drawn to his outrageous persona, and his belief that victims of his abuse and degradation should feel grateful he spent any time with them at all. I was hoping there would come a point in his tale where he had an epiphany about his behavior, but when he did (sort of -- not really) it was only a realization that he had to watch out more for his own business interests and not drain his resources so much. Rachel's story is believable for many reasons, not the least of which is that MM himself brags for a couple hundred pages about doing vile and disrespectful things to other humans. She's well quit of him, and I hope she can heal and surround herself with loving, caring people.
Yeah. I was mm fan and read the autobiography and it showed a really disturbing side of him, a really self-involved, arrogant, narcissistic, side. There wasnt a moment where he would have anything positive to say about other people. Instead he constantly put people down, belittled and humiliated them. Top that with the graphic descriptions of abuse which he not only commited alone but with his band members, tour crew and members of nin, including reznor himself who is depicted engaging in abusive behaviour by himself too. Theres no sugarcoating of it either except maybe some handwaving towards hedonistic rock n roll lifestyle.
@@hhdhpublic Reznor said that part of the story was fake and that it was just to "bring him down" He cut ties with him long ago over it. He left a quote about manson in 2009. About how malicious he is and that he'll do anything to get to the top
Manson got away with a lot because he is so well known as a shock artist. So people expected him to do and say schocking things, and didn't take it seriously. I think a lot of people also felt sorry for him for being blamed for Columbine. He's been somewhat quiet in recent years, too. He's like that spider in the dark corner that everyone just accepts or forgts about.
I think I might get some angry responses for this so I say it in advance: not trying to make excuses for MM or blaming anyone, rather a warning.Well, a pretty pointless warning for you, anyway... It's a serious topic. I get it and I don't know much about sexual abuse or manipulation and it's affection but all the rest of what broken relationships can put you through. But. If you read his book(I did as well) you should really think twice or more before you get any closer to him. It's really upfront what you can expect from him. Let's just say he's not a good father type. I'm really surprised how did he managed to get relationships lasting so long. Anyway..I really do hope Rachel and all the women can heal and leave behind all those horrible experiences.
Thank you. I have experienced everything you said here. I have had PTSD for close to 15 years. I experienced a traumatic event and then an abusive relationship directly after where what I had experienced was used against me in an attempt to demean and control me. It was very similar to Evan Rachel Woods experience with her perpetrator. I won’t even dignify him by using his fake name. So grateful she came forward. This makes it easier for other women to talk about their abuse and trauma. I am doing a lot better but it completely ruined my life for 10 years and I could not cope. I started trusting others and ultimately myself again which was the biggest blow to my psyche. I was always stuck between two thoughts and I never knew how I felt. I lost so much but I am slowly getting it back. I no longer have any contact with my abuser and unfortunately when I came forward the police wouldn’t help me. Times are slowly changing now and it is a beautiful thing. Sending love to any women that is going through this now. It will get better but it takes time so be patient with yourself. It’s not your fault and you can let go of any shame you feel. Find someone to talk to. I had to get on Psych meds. That is when my life got better. Therapy helps too. Thank you Dr. Grande.
I still think about my sexual assault everyday. I have a horrible fear of men and bad substance abuse problems even after 5 years. No one I know understands this, but thank you for talking about it! Love you dr grande
@@laurenm7898 my brothers dog is so well trained. I love her. She is overprotective of his new born. And she helps calm my brother down when he has ptsd episodes from deploying in the military. She will lay on top of him and cuddle when she notices him start to get really bad anxiety.
Dr. Grande, this is a video that every woman and man, young and old, needs to watch. I wonder how many people have chosen to remain silent after they have been sexually/emotionally/physically abused? Any experience of being abused is serious, and I think there are many people who feel like their experience is not worthy of receiving help, or they are not worthy of receiving help. I hope all victims will find the courage to tell their story.
Telling my story does me no help at all. Only being ostracized is what will happen, unless your rich then people will offer to help for a large fee. This is reality no one cares about you, they only care for themselves and how they feel about you. Sooner we realize this the sooner we can understand that we genuinely need to help others so we can feel better about ourselves. Then we have a chance of moving forward.
Do not me every person in that category, this is crap, I have worked with to many women, that have screamed,false rape, false pregnancy, I have also seen drunk women refer and call it rape,when they be the ones hanging on them, and doing the naked table dance. 2 sides to every storey. Hollywood is dying and she needs attention, is how it comes across at this point.
As a sexual abuse survivor myself, I really appreciate your thoughts on this topic. I feel seen and understood. Especially when you said it’s a lonely journey- because it really is.
The journey of victims of false accusations is even lonelier, in fact, far, far lonelier, yet you seem to have little empathy for them. If you want victims to be supported, you have to take a stand against false accusers and Evan Rachel Wood likely is one.
Dr. Todd needs to do an update to this story. Evidence is pointing to them clearly recruiting women to come out against Manson. Woods and her partner (a social activist who has had many outed lies) literally had a script given to these women, so indeed what she says is a little too on point.
Yes, but it probably won't happen. I sensed some disdain towards Manson coming from this guy and I'm not blindingly supporting Manson or anything but whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'? Guess people haven't learned much from that Depp-Heard fiasco.
@@StickJockeyFPV 'There sings...'? What do you even mean? 'Their sings...'? Whose sings? Both Manson and Wood's? What signs were always there? I might be gullible for not automatically throwing Manson to the dogs and leaving it to the law but you typed that comment like a person who can barely string a sentence together.
@@henrygrandpagobbleblobber6751 You better get those bifocals checked, gramps. Why are you saying "sings"? I never used that word. I did however use the word 'There" instead of "The". Give it a read again with that correction. I'm surprised you thought the whole sentence structure was off.
@@StickJockeyFPV Touché! I'm a victim of my arrogance and fully admitting it. But seriously, can I ask about what you meant by 'signs'? I'm humbled now.
I broke down crying listening to this compassionate talk and how it filled in details I had yet to come to terms with in my own series of abusive relationships. I was dismissed and devalued every time I came out with my own stories so I just stopped after time. Now i understand why, and why I cannot just get over what was done to me and other women in my family. Thank you for this.
We all as fans, tend to put our beloved musicians and/or actors on pedestals. But they need to be seen as humans capable of not only great things, but of demented and evil behaviors. And they need to be called out immediately for harm intended or completed, not hidden or whisked away just to save their careers. Nothing trumps being sexually abused.
In the early 1990s, Axl Rose told "Rolling Stone" that he was raped by his father when he was a young child, which his siblings denied happened to them at the very least. I wrote for a zine (remember those?) and most people's responses, even ones who had no use for their music, were things like "Too bad his father is dead; I'd like to kick the bastard in the balls with steel-toed boots" and "I believe it; nobody gets that crazy growing up in the Brady Bunch."
I've never had this issue. I don't put people with a skill I don't have "on a pedestal". My issue here is that there is a whole HEAP of accusations, and literally zero evidence to back it up. This has become the "norm" lately, where an accusation is just as good as an indictment and a conviction to the torch and pitchfork crowd. And god help you if you actually mention that there is no evidence....then, out ride the whiteknights on their fedora laden steeds to screech stupid shit like "YOU'RE THE REASON NO ONE COMES FORWARD!!!!"....yes, how dare I expect ACTUAL FUCKING EVIDENCE to ruin someone's life. What a monster I must be. Until someone provides some ACTUAL PROOF, not hearsay from idiot musicians who haven't been relevant in 10 years desperately trying to get in the woke, virtue signaling spotlight for another 15 minutes of fame (looking at you, Wes Borland), then I'm calling this bullshit.
@James Patrick and it was ineffective. The big issue with "brainwashing" is that if it is to be believed then anyone can retrospectively claim abuse by claiming their consent at the time was void because they were "brainwashed." I could claim my ex girlfriend abused me with whips and even though I enjoyed it and asked for it I was "brainwashed" at the time.
@@slavesteven3049 You're trying to debunk brainwashing by claiming people can lie about it? People can lie about literally anything. By your logic, cancer doesn't exist.
Learning about narcissistic abuse and grooming is blowing my mind. When I was 16, I thought dating a 23 year old was awesome and mature of me. For 3+ years I knew it was an unhealthy relationship, but I had no idea it would fuck up the rest of my relationships for the rest of my life.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
Dr.Grande as a survivor of sexual abuse your compassion was overwhelming. You validated the victim with not a single undertone of blame, doubt or reservation. I wish your response was typical. It would save many people from being victimized a second time. I found a way to turn my pain into action. I refuse to let it define me or hold me back. I have embraced who I am today. I know the abuse played a part of that person unfolding. I embrace what I have learned from it, how I grew from it and how I can use it to help other survivors. Thank you for keeping the focus on Evan Rachel Wood. For validating her thoughts and feels during her healing process.
'Gaslighting' isn't a technical term. To hear a Dr say this is a powerful tool is alarming. No offense. I was violently Abused for almost 6 years. Yes, I knew. Yes, everyone around me knew. You don't at all acknowledge that most of Evan's & Manson's relationship occurred when he was on tour. Her parents attended many concerts, attended many after parties. He took her & her family on vacations including Disneyland. They had family holidays together. To say she was isolated while on tour, while spending time with her family, while working as a professional actress & in the eyes of the paparazzi 24/7. You haven't looked into any history.. you didn't care to look at any of her past interviews where she clearly states they had a normal loving relationship, where she spoke so highly of him. You don't seem to care about any of the crimes she & her scam artist GF have committed to falsely accuse Manson. I would assume someone with such a huge following would learn about the cases they are covering.
A narcissist doesn't see things like non narcissists do. They don't acknowledge what they did was abuse because they don't see anything from anyone's viewpoint but their own. It is the most insidious and difficult type of abuse to escape and nearly impossible for people outside the relationship to grasp. The narcissist is charming, convincing, and lives to lie and deceive everyone who loves them. People are possessions, to be used and discarded at the narcissist's whim. Another example of how talent and basic human decency can often be wholly unrelated.
Only people who have experienced it can understand properly. You just described it perfectly. The last decade of my life until very recently were a nightmare due to these monsters. I think I finally am free and clear but they can pop up anywhere. Be vigilant people!! This is life or death.
You really contradicted yourself. Narcissist’s can definitely understand many people’s viewpoints other than their own. That’s why they’re so appealing, they know how to push your buttons. But that’s why they’re also so dangerous generally.
@Angela James I didn't know anything about it until I saw it described years and decades after being subjected to it. I knew *something* had been wrong. Others knew *something* had been wrong. But especially those other people's explanations fell vastly short or were just incorrect.
It's far worse when you're a child growing up in such an environment, where your family is your enemy, & by proxy, everyone else, because your family is so heavily favored by the community, & they manipulate it against you.
We need much more than that. We need the thinking equivalent of MMA (the best general moves for mentally fighting) taught to every teenager. Then we can have the first generation that isn't totally fucked up.
Agreed. One of the main tactics being a mask of charming goodness... Thus the do-gooder defamation phenomenon. People who act good to get trust then take advantage cause suspicion towards anyone falling over themselves in a desperate need to help. It is not so strange.
You're so right, it never gets easier to talk about past sexual abuse especially when you start a new romantic relationship. Trying to explain to a potential partner that there are certain things you can't or won't do during intercourse is always hard and can lead to further distrust if that partner isn't understanding. A lot of survivors don't know how to talk about sexual boundaries and we often have flashbacks during sexual encounters which can be traumatic on it's own. Thank you so much for talking about this subject it's really important to me and I know many others
Not to mention the shame you feel for setting those boundaries. For other people it's normal and no big deal to do those things but you don't want to put yourself in that same situation again. I know we shouldn't feel shame but when no one else seems to have a problem with those things you feel alone and ashamed.
As right as you are, there’s also the fact that gold diggers are as real as SA perpetrators, which should have been equally talked about in such a discussion. The Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial is merely the latest prominent example. Many of us have known this since way before their trial.
Yes People have very weird ideas about accusations with celebs , saying nobody would accuse for the clout they could gain, nobody would lie for the money they can get from interviews and books Ive heard of some great thought experiments e.g. when you have a group of accusers E.g. against Manson or Cosby, leave your wallet in the middle of a room with these people with your savings in that wallet in the form of cash for an hour. It's like people don't realise that hitmen exist, that people accept money to assault people and murder people Of COURSE people will make sexual or abuse accusations for the fame and money, the mere fact that weird hashtags like BelieveAllVictims exist is evidence of the benefits for a malicious person willing to fabricate a claim. That hashtag is key evidence of our rejection of due process, the word "Victim" Already judges a case and renders the accuser a truthful "victim" and the accused party to a dishonest "perpetrator" In the same way Jussie Smollett sought to steal sympathy and get his name in headlines to boost his wealth the same angle should be considered for other actors accusing bigger actors or musicians How much would their own career benefit from making a fake accusation and being somewhat believed the second they uttered it publically?
@@JD-Defenders at first it did me too, then I started to look into it more. On the surface, more seems more likely, then you realize that none claimed anything prior to ERW and IG contacting them and then they “ remembered” all these repressed memories. All are needing a career reboot and a few claims were already dismissed and none have any actual evidence. No police reports, pictures, nothing… Just memories they came up with after meeting with ERW and IG
In my experience, the physical part of sexual assault was far easier to get over than all the rest. The physical is not what keeps me waking up screaming after all these years. Always checking my back in the store or anywhere in public. Checking my doors are locked again and again. The emotional-mental part was much worse for me.
@@Lady.Luck. I always see the shadow of him the doorway, and every damn time I think it's real again. We have to be able to sleep again sometime right?
I also allowed it to define me. Then I changed my mind. They them deal with their sins.. I only have to deal with mine. And I stopped entertaining the though of it.. eventually. It took practice. You ladies in the comments should talk to each other. You all KNOW what the other is feeling. Together, you would all put it behind you. I am not saying you will forget, but you could certainly help each other live with it.. atb.
It's already proven. The FBI confirmed that they never wrote the letter she submitted to Court in her divorce. She FORGED a letter from a real FBI agent and forged their signature. FBI is currently investigating if charges will be brought.
I think it’s also important to note that he didn’t really deny the allegations, he just stated that is was consensual. But something along the line „I only love you when you do that“ is not asking/getting consent but emotional manipulation. Remember she was 18(!!) and he was 36, so he had a lot of power over her.
Also someone doing something fir their partner because they've been threatened isn't consent and neither is the person doing something because they are fearful of the negative and violent reaction if they don't.
oh yes because 19 year olds are known for their maturity. She states that it all started when she was 17, which has been proven with pictures as by now. What makes an 19 year old a full developed adult? She wasn’t even allowed to drink alcohol!? Also, every person can fall victim to an abuser not matter the age. Stop victim blaming
Just for fact, Evan produced the documentary for HBO. It wasn’t an independent, non biased look at the case. I don’t know who is telling the truth, but there are so many opinions before the trial, that it twists thinking. I’ll wait until after the trial to decide. I definitely won’t base my decision on a documentary produced by either of them. Dr, please remember you are evaluating expert performers. Both of them are very, very, intelligent and gifted at their crafts. It is the elephant in the room.
You hit the nail on the head Dr. Grande, so much abuse could be avoided if people knew how to identify and then deal with a narcissistic abuser. Most cases of adult abuse would be stopped...unfortunately child abuse is more complicated.
@@craigbenz4835 I agree. My friend said one of the priests that was arrested and went to jail for sexual child abuse was in his church for 5yrs or more. He said he was never abused. I told him predators pick their victims wisely. My friend would of told everyone of the abuse. That's why he wasn't targeted. The usually can tell who they can abuse and get away with it.
Well said! It is so terrible child or adult. I would work in a professional capacity helping victims but I have to say it is just too heartbreaking to see what it does to people. My gift is listening and watching for the signs.
Thank you for stating that victims/survivors should be heard no matter how long it takes them to speak up. So often, people use the passage of time against those who have to gather up the strength to make things like this public.
To be fair Doc just taking this girls word for it is dangerous, everything she is saying you yourself know so does that mean the same things have happened to you, she could be gaslighting you right now.
The forged falsified FBI letters make me question everything from her and the thing that helped her. The thing's sister actually came forth w evidence left on the iPad ie rough drafts of the letter and EW's convos regarding the letter and forged signature.
@@patriciaburns1033 exactly. At the v least, it negates any credibility. Then all the lies that she stated to kidnap her kid and take him out of state, the notepad which had "money " as the primary reason to make a documentary, the multiple choice survey sent to anybody who was involved w Warner, the scripted answers that she told the other recruited accusers to say... Even if the allegations had a single true claim, she and Gore are proven liars therefore shouldn't be believed at all.
It´s about time this guy had some kind of repercussion for all the messed up stuff he´s done to people. So many instances where there where victims who came forward but were ignored and harassed to the point of not wanting to speak anymore and everything kept getting swept under the rug. I enjoyed his music very much but I can´t stand musicians who brush off being a bad person as "an artistic persona" or for shock value.
I never followed his work much, but whenever I saw him in interviews he was always portrayed as a brooding intellectual. This is the first I'm hearing any allegations; honestly thought he was one of the few "normals" that made it through the entertainment industry.
@Melinda Bloomington8! Problem with a gut feeling is that sometimes it leads to stereotyping which in turn to distrust of certain groups of people. Depends on the individual I guess.
What? I haven’t heard anything about him abusing anyone until now! Fun fact: I used to work w a girl who is friends w him. Her and her sister got pulled out of the crowd to go hang out backstage at one of his shows several years ago. Being a fan, she would have hooked up with him in a heartbeat, but because he was dating or married every time he came through town for a show (and they hung out) he never touched her. They did a lot of drugs apparently but she said he was a perfect gentleman, and not at all what you would expect from a rockstar, especially Marilyn Manson of all rockstars. Anyway, that’s my 2 cents. Not saying he did or didn’t abuse ERW or anyone else, but let’s let the man have his legal process before jumping to conclusions. The sad fact for real victims (and falsely accused) is that people DO lie about abuse sometimes. We should lean more towards belief but always demand facts/proof.
Thank you Dr. Grande! I was abused like this as a child and you described my experience, the impact, and my process of healing perfectly... I am grateful for the people who come forward to talk about their experiences and for people like you who offer compassion and support!
I feel in some ways this video goes off target and starts discussing abuse in general rather than her specific allegations (which are increasingly looking potentially false due to her many issues with determining fantasy and reality) I like what you said about supporting survivors...but that aside I felt this video kind of implied you believe her and accept Manson as guilty, without any evidence. Seemed more biased than usual
When he discussed the steps in which survivors reveal the abuse, I was wondering if forging FBI letters and multiple choice questionnaires were a normal part of it. I never thought that victims would feel the need to fabricate federal documents and solicit potential victims via oddly specific and detailed question lists. I feel like it hurt her credibility and only helped to undermine her allegations.
He's biased in quite a few videos. Off the top of my head, he automatically called two Michael Jackson accusers liars when one of them seems credible and very traumatized. (The other one seems full of it like Evan.) He never even entertained the possibility that one or both could have been abused. I'm guessing he's an MJ fan. I was too until I learned that he had a legal (because it was "artistic"🤮) photo of a naked boy hidden in his closet. If he thought it was good art, why didn't he hang it up? Why hide "art?" I'll give one more example because I have limited time. If you pay attention to which political figures he does and doesn't criticize, it's easy to tell what his political views are. He only criticizes those he disagrees with. Most politicians are crooks and anyone who disagrees with that is dumb, naive, narrow minded, or all three. Just because you agree with most of someone's policies doesn't make them a saint. He's prone to black and white thinking, to use therapy jargon.
Dr. Grande, you have dealt with this difficult subject with such sensitivity and understanding, I truly applaud you and wish more were like you. I've seen Ms Wood being put down on social media for speaking up, and it's quite heart breaking to see people saying "why did she stay?", "couldn't she see what type of person he is?" and so on. Sadly, things aren't that simple.
Ummmm, just because M Manson doesn’t think he’s an abuser doesn’t make it so. So many of these types of offenders are so good at gaslighting and have so much money that they think they can offend with impunity.
I honestly think it can happen where someone is getting abused by reasonable standards, but since they complied the entire time, the abuser sees it as consenting to the "alternative lifestyle" and honestly doesn't see how they're abusing them.
@@Lady.Luck. .... you dont "get with" Marylin Manson and not expect weird shit.... i mean, cooome on, people act as if rape fantasies and BDSM werent a bestselling novel and box office hit movie a few years ago.... its all anyone would talk about, and almost every female i knew watched the movie.... its almost like the Hollywood couch cast, its wrong, but both parties agree, they both know if they do this they get that, .... and now, they did it, got it, and THEN point a finger.... i guess we could say yea, it serves Hollywood right for being a creep, but its not like they werent an active participant.... they knew, ...she knew, she knows.... you dont hang out with Manson if youre not into weird shit
"The time for support is always" ❤ thank you Dr. Grande for your compassion. I wish that all survivors of this type of trauma could have access to a counselor with your understanding of the nuances of abuse.
As a nurse and caregiver, I thank you for discussing this painful topic. You're analysis is validating for survivors of abuse. Our society is only beginning to understand the pain victims endure and we have a long way to go to correct the disbelief and judgement victims encounter when they come forward. Terrible suffering. Thanks for your objective analysis of this important topic.
when I acknowledged the abuse I suffered as a child, I lost my family over it, 10 years ago now. I can really relate the consequences she described. it's crushing when your deepest fear of being rejected over it comes true. I think I always knew it would happen because my mother ignored taking responsibility for the obvious signs of trauma I exhibited. her whole life is based in toxic amnesia and I couldn't live that way anymore. it's been undescribably devastating but at least I'm no longer trapped in an invalidating prison of cognitive dissonance.
I look forward to the video on Amber Heard, somewhere down the line. E.R.W had more credibility initially. But when she and her girlfriend co-opted all the other people who have made claims together with the same lawyer using very tenuous evidence like 'the room was dark', or 'the house was kept cold', as well as including false evidence such as traceable off the internet photos claiming to be their personal imagery. This is not a good sign. She also tried to co-opt other women who in turn have said they like Manson. So there seems to be something more to this. And in times when Amber Heard (a friend of ERW) has made such damming claims against Johnny Depp, only to have each thing be exposed as lies time and again. I think its time to really tread very carefully. Things like this need to be investigated, there needs to be police involved. ERW is no saint either, no meek lamb in the woods, as she now presents herself. So without some evidence we only get her curated presentation.
I believe her, all the things they say about MM are credible, I was his fan, and I felt like I know him, and I know him even better now after his ex girlfriends told us their story, he really is a very abusive person, not only with his girlfriends but other people too had some bad stories to tell about him...
@@luisaritosa9700 To each their own. Im interested in cold hard facts and evidence, which undermine ERW and Gore. Once people show as a matter of fact that they are untrustworthy or have lied in connection with making claims on another person. Then I don't believe such accusations as presented. ERW to me is now in the position of having to prove why she lied about a number of things, including being party to a federal crime. Everything else is merely a story that she has presented into the public hemisphere, and keenly wants people to take at face value.
@@Vivi-vg9lx Or.. was it proved ? The accusations ERW and her co-opted conspirators made about Manson. No. These women have put MM in the position generating a burden of proof. Meaning he has the burden in a defamation trial to obtain the proof against their claims. They can sit back and bat it all away. So you can stake a claim on some of MMs evidence in part once his lawsuit enters the California system with a greenlight, which it is has yet to do. Consider however that he is accusing them of a federal crime against the FBI. My guess is it would be a crime unto itself to make such an accusation on record against another party in law, and expect there not to be repercussions, and i doubt any lawyer would take his case if he were making false claims of this kind to build a case on ERW and co. Yet MM is making such a claim. It suggests that what evidence he has on them building a hoax is solid. Again, especially if his case is accepted by CA legal system. From ERWs perspective. This will be her opportunity now to put her case against MM into the court as well. So id assume if she has real bad stuff on MM, it will be good for her to put these things into the legal domain. Instead of twitter or such things
I saw MM in 93 when he was touring with NIN. He was relatively unknown and looking to make his mark. He asked if there were any fourteen year old girls who wanted to come up on stage and in very vulgar terms invited them to perform a specific act. I still remember the wave of angry, confused energy that rippled through the stadioum.A surge of angry youth trying to get at him, rip him to pieces. Then quickly losing themselves in the music and reveling in that rage, that madness. I was struck by his intelligence and ability to manipulate. He was a capable and deeply intelligent provocateur then. I imagine his skills only improved over time. Its believable to me that he could and would manipulate a young woman who adored him. And he may have believed that she wanted to be manipulated and controlled by him. It's a sick, twisted cycle that she thankfully got out of. I hope he at some point, takes a deeper look at himself. I hope she is getting help too.
@@JOHNNYSGIRL1960Trying to understand your comment. Pretty sure my comment never implied that it did. And I'm certain that I never stated outright that it did. I was simply speculating as to what may be going on based on my experience in life and my observations of two very publicly known people that I do not know personally.
As a survivor myself, thank you, Dr. Grande, for the message you just put out there. You’re always so eloquent, yet direct and today some of the small things you said filled me with more hope than any clinician prior. I’m sure there are many people who feel that way too. I’ve always felt ptsd to be a life sentence... on the best days though my trauma doesn’t define me, it’s merely woven into the fabric that is me. Thank you again.
As a person who was abused, I unequivocally disbelieve ERW and her fellow accusers. I feel it's a revenge and fame tactic. Before the hate-filled victim-blaming comments, I would suggest one look into the analysis of these accusations by the RUclipsr Colonel Kurtz, as she does some very in depth analysis, and is not affiliated with MM in any way. She helped me with my opinion...and the defamational counter lawsuit MM has brought forth is pretty damning, in its own right.
I completely agree with you. When I first heard about this whole things it just gave me a weird feeling. I couldn’t quite figure out what it was it was just a weird feeling. Then much later on I see one of her videos about MM so I started watching them and then I started watching videos from his other previous girlfriends, pretty much any video I could find that gave actual information and not just opinions. After seeing those I could see why I was having such a weird feeling the first time I heard about the accusations. The fact that all of his previous girlfriends all received emails pretty much trying to recruit them to do this is so horrible. I think everyone interested in this should definitely check out those videos because they really do give good insight into this case. I’m happy that MM is finally sticking up for himself through the courts and from what I heard he has a lot of evidence against these woman.
I would love to hear how a clinical professional is able to tell the difference between someone who is making up an allegation and someone who truly is a person who suffered abuse.
Maybe the incidents of victims making up this sort of thing is so infrequent, it doesn’t warrant being addressed. I have yet to meet anyone who has ever wanted to make something up like this. Why would someone do that? Do you think ERW is trying to get attention, money, fame? Most likely not, most likely she is genuinely tryin to warn people. That would be the most logical conclusion instead of defaulting to “I wonder if she’s telling the truth”.
Her documentary was absolutely horrific. I felt ill for days afterwards. I cant even begin to imagine how she must feel having lived it. Thank you for handeling it with such thoughtful care and compassion.
Just for fact, Evan wrote and produced that documentary. I don’t know who is telling the truth, but there are so many opinions before the trial, that it twists thinking. I’ll wait until after the trial to decide. I definitely won’t base my decision on a documentary produced by either of them. Dr, please remember you are evaluating expert performers. Both of them are very intelligent and gifted at their crafts. It is the elephant in the room.
He's definitely a gas lighter. I'm proud of her strength for finally realizing this, getting away and getting help.) Stay strong. I've been there and it's scary.
Gaslighting IS part and parcel to a narcissistic abuser. I've been in a abusive relationship with my sister whom I no longer permit in my life. Wishing you health and love I your future relationships.
@@TheGubernatis ....When someone is being GASLIT they may not realize that it is happening at the time. Every situation is different, and when someone outright tries to make a sane person appear mentally unstable by purposely screwing with them, ( moving objects around, denying abuse, internet hacking with emails, entering into an apartment illegally then denying, and other mind games) it is criminal and sinister. I cannot speak for her, but I know what was done and continues to be done to me in the State of Connecticut ..and elsewhere ....it is EVIL.. in order to cover up a much worse crime !!!!!
As a child sexual abuse survivor I often find myself in her shoes. It NEVER goes away. Functioning is not really getting over it. There's a feeling of impotence, shame, pain, and regreat that plays with our very sense identity. The feeling that we are forever damaged or tainted. Feeling like people can see our humillacion just by looking at us. I'm 39 years old this day, was 4 years old when i was first sexually assaulted. It was ongoing until I was 12 years old and i still get night terrors to this day. I blocked out so many memories and inside a train in new york city the smell of liquor and cigarettes I remembered an episode of such intense abuse and I fainted. Came to hysterical and humiliated, one of the worst days of my whole life.
I am so sorry that your innocent childhood was stolen from you so cruelly. I hope that you have support from good friends and that you are getting ongoing treatment.
@@kayzbluegenes thank you. I have had treatment but it doesn't go away like i said. My abuser used to tell me I told him I liked it so I wouldn't get beat up. That gaslight and manipulation does things to anybody ever more if it's a child. It becomes a shameful thing we carry as a heavy cross.
I completely forgot about him since "I want Candy" and had no Idea what was going on... But there's A LOT going on! Thanks for pointing this one out, I would love to hear what Dr. Todd Grande has to say about Aaron. His IG and interview clips are disturbing in many ways!
@@tinakaran9466 Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
You seem to have no doubt about the truth of her assertions, simply because what she describes can be found in the clinical literature. If that were true, it would seem... strange.
I was young when he was popular. For obvious reasons, his music was off limits. Looking back as a now very openminded adult and analyzing his garbage, I am shocked by what he has gotten away with. The man is evil. The lies people were deceived by it being a stage persona. That dismissed persona was his weapon. I get ill listening to/watching him. Justice is coming.
@@Lindseyisloony Marilyn Manson was based on Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson because they were both then the highlighted stories at the same time. Beauty and Madness. That’s why everyone in the band had names like that. Madonna Wayne Gacy- Madonna and John Wayne Gacy Twiggy Ramirez- Twiggy and Richard Ramirez Zsa Zsa Speck- Zsa Zsa Gabor and Richard Speck Olivia Newton Bundy- Olivia Newton John and Ted Bundy And even more. It was supposed to be the Ying and Yang of what the media was mass reporting at the time and how they both intertwined. The beauty of Marilyn but the tragic death and romanticizing her death somehow. Charles Manson and his murders and somehow using the death of Sharon Tate as a huge media story.
He has always said there is no difference between who he is in public and who he is in private. No difference between Brian Warner and Marilyn Manson. This is why, as a fan, I knew it was him before she actually named him. Anyone who has listened to Eat Me Drink Me, The High End of Low or Born Villain would realize these are about Evan and the girls that came between her and his current wife. It's also important to state that any long time Manson fan would tell you that Pre-06 Manson is a very different from 06 to present Manson, both the person and the band.
Trigger Warning: He released an autobiography in 1998 called "The Long Hard Road Out of Hell" in which he graphically details humiliating his groupies in all kinds of terrible ways. For example he talks about putting a 15 year old runaway in full bondage gear backstage after a concert. There's another charming anecdote about the band's bus driver urinating on a deaf girl while shouting degrading comments as the whole band watches. The story is funny, see, because the deaf girl couldn't hear all the demeaning stuff the bus driver was yelling. Having read the book all those years ago (and it kind of seems like I'm the only person who did read it, which is understandable) I was unsurprised by Wood's accusations. It seems to fit the same pattern of behavior he bragged about back when he felt invincible.
That book should be treated as a work of fiction meant to cause controversy and in return sell more music. That’s not at all saying Manson is innocent. Just saying that book is far from reliable. Just a rambling of a coke head rambling non sense.
@@1008md So, the idea is that, even though Manson has never recanted any of those highly detailed, extremely specific stories that correspond with his accused behavior, we're supposed to take it as a matter of faith that he fabricated his autobiography because he thought implicating himself in sexual abuse would sell records? What do I have to gain by making that assumption before Manson even makes the claim himself? The only conceivable reason to minimize the book is because it's so incriminating.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@wildmercuryfilms lol, are you posting this nonsense 10 times in this comment section? You clearly know nothing about narc abuse. Do your homework and then comment. Have a nice day.
@@Shalimar_trailsss All, but one of those comments should be deleted. One, ok. But so many? That's spam. Plus, it's wrong, too. Wild mercury must have missed the grooming and manipulation part of the case. smh.
@@wildmercuryfilms so .. she had it coming, then? She deserved it? She got what she was asking for? Im a career musician from Hollywood and Las Vegas, and I've met so many famous rock stars who do this shit that MM did, and im telling you right now he did this. And yes, tho she was a willing "partner" no one is a willing abuse victim. She didn't stay, she left him because of it. Its interesting how your mentality actually demonstrates the issue at hand, yet you say those things as if its logical and acceptable. .
@@Shalimar_trailsss i posed a comment telling you how nice it is that the comments section in Dr Grandes vids has such kind people, and that I would take your advice and have a nice day - and then I accidentally deleted it! Lol! Anyway, have a nice day, Lidia!
Inasmuch as my wife and I have been enjoying so many of your videos and have come to appreciate your clear, concise analysis of complicated topics and controversial subjects, which you present in a refreshingly understated, balanced and respectful manner. Plus, your subtle, perhaps unexpected humor, makes the whole enterprise all the more watchable and engaging. That being said, we were disappointed with your analysis and conclusions regarding ERW and the very serious allegations she is making against Marilyn Manson. I was expecting you to perhaps provide a timeline of events in order to compare and where possible, corroborate each of the litigants versions of events. Also, rather than laying out, examining and even testing specific allegations, testimony and other evidence, it seems like this video lacks the kind of rigorous due diligence and critical review we have come to expect from you. Also, it seems here that essentially you are merely positing that ERW self reports certain classic symptoms of SV or IPV. I was also hoping for some allowance for the possibility that the plaintiff may have researched typical symptoms and the most salient difficulties, after effects, behaviors, etc. In any case, i understand MM has made his bed to the degree that he intends his MM persona to be a transgressive, confrontational, provocative figure, so in making his defense, he begins at somewhat of a self inflicted disadvantage. Serves him right since much of that aspect of his act is a little corny, age inappropriate and even a little lazy or limited, i.e., shocking in all the most unoriginal and uninteresting ways. However, Mr Warner’s likability issue only means that those of us hoping to make an accurate, useful analysis of the case must be extra vigilant against bias or prejudice. Perhaps you would consider a more detailed explanation of why you find her claims to be credible or conversely, why you do not find his account as convincing as hers. Also, are there any indications that the plaintiff in this case may suffer from some mental illness or condition, eg., personality disorder, that might provide some insight into this he said she said situation. Anyone who claims to be the victim of abuse has the right to be heard and to confront their abuser; but their account also needs to stand up to scrutiny. Let’s not jeopardize the gains we have made via the #metoo movement by a failure to use our legal and societal institutions, our critical faculties, common sense and discernment in order to process these cases in an appropriate, judicious manner on the way to a fair, productive resolution. #AbuseHasNoGender
Does that drawer contain typical drawer stuff: a 15 year old cell phone, an old menu for a local takeaway restaurant, some semi used batteries, some keys that have long since seen a lock? Great video as per usual.
Thank you, Dr. Grande, for handling this issue with respect and for indicating that it is courageous for anyone who has been through sexual abuse to tell someone else about it no matter how many times they've disclosed the matter, and how it takes a very serious toll on the survivor. That is something so many survivors of abuse understand, many of whom told someone and received not support or understanding but disbelief, anger, denial and minimisation of just how impactful that type of abuse is. As a survival of CSA, I was one of those who reached out to tell someone I thought would be understanding of the symptoms I was experiencing as a result which were from PTSD. Instead, the person's reaction was to tell me I was "only damaged physically" and to basically get over it. This person's response had me feeling invalidated and it actually exacerbated the PTSD so I didn't feel I could talk to anyone about it and didn't receive the therapy that might have alleviated some of the PTSD. It took a long time for me to trust anyone else again to tell them about the abuse and thankfully this was someone who was supportive and empathetic and helped me start the healing journey which included seeking therapy. Decades later, I went on to become a therapist and focus on helping other survivors.
As a survivor from CSA, we need to understand that the abuser, will groom those around the target as well. Often pushing to see what they can get away with, and laying the ground work for denials. And say using it as cover if they slip. My biological father and his side of the family ( who were aware and actively covered it up) all engaged in these behaviours.
Thank you for this. I am married to a narcissist and it’s been 6 years of hell in earth. Rape in marriage is different but the psychological and emotionally consequences are still terrifying. Everyone around me blamed me and he seemed to keep a great mask on while I reacted to the abuse in ways that landed me in jail for the night. I even thought I was the one with a personality disorder turns out it was C-PTSD! My therapist is the one person who I know hears me. I am quietly building the strength to have boundaries and I know there will come an opportunity for me to escape…but for now I escape in my mind and get stronger and smarter.
Rape in marriage is no less devastating than any other. You do not hand over your bodily autonomy to someone in marriage, your boundaries need to be respected and you sure as hell do not owe "sex" to anyone ever. I hope you find the strength to leave. Remember you have so much support behind you even when it doesn't seem like you do. ❤️
It’s almost worse because the person you marry is meant to love, nurture you and protect you from harm, as you would them. A huge betrayal and horrific to come to terms with.
"It's not just courageous the first time, it's courageous every time"
That was very touching Dr Grande, thank you!
I agree. This was very nicely put.
This is a brand new perspective for me and makes so much sense. Wow. I really feel this.
I agreed. Thank you, Dr. grande.
Ladies, and Gentlemen NO DISRESPECT INTENDED WITH MY COMMENT but if a partner, boyfriend or girlfriend whatever comment to you HEY, I WANT TO BBQ YOUR RIBS or do the type of SHIT MANSON DOES OR ANYBODY it’s called a RED FLAG I CANNOT BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH MY COMMENT DAMMMMMM
@Some annoying person I think that is a reference to something Armie Hammer texted one of his victims.
"The time to give support is immediately, a month later, ten years later, all the time."
😢
Yes. Wise and kind words.
The thing about SA is it doesn’t just negatively effect the survivor, it effects every single relationship that survivor has for the rest of his or her life. There are still moments 30 years and lots of therapy later, my husband has to deal with the consequences of one man’s actions towards an innocent child. My children don’t know it, but it effects them as well, they don’t go on sleep overs, their relationships with adults get constantly scrutinized and are kept at a distance. Some men I’ve come into contact with get immediately distrusted, through no fault of their own, because of that abuser. It is truly a crime that keeps on “giving”. It gets better, and it gets easier, but it never goes away.
Too much security is just as bad as not enough.
Your children should never have to suffer because of what someone else did to their father. You are robbing them of their innocence and childhood.
I can relate to this 100%. I was brutally raped in 2011 when I was 18. He had 130lbs+ on me & I begged him to stop and tried pushing him off but he didn't stop attacking me. I confronted him after the assault and he even admitted raping me only to say, "I wasn't woman enough to handle him." The reason I never called the police is because my dad had been going through health issues his whole life and I didn't want to add more stress to my family. Also, my dad was a former cop who had also been traumatized so I knew if my dad found out, he'd kill the guy. Thus, I kept it mainly to myself telling only a few of my very close friends until I finally sought therapy. If I took him to court, I don't want his money - I would just want him in prison.
I was also assaulted by a professor in 2015. It's a long story and I'd rather not get into it. Howevee when I went to the school counselor, they did little to help me. I also went to another adult on campus, a professor of mine who had served as my mentor and he essentially did nothing when I let him know looking for help. This attack is in association with a MAJOR university and the statue of limitations has not ended which is why I'm not giving many details as I have always wanted to seek justice for the trauma I have faced.
I have lived with the long-term affects of these attacks. I have PTSD, chronic depression and anxiety. It's unfair that all of my relationships have suffered because of these attacks.
@@abeltesfaye_ Something like this may help some people but it will certainly be used to destroy an innocent man. But One injustice deserves another right so who cares..
Stay strong.
@@jerryhampton5755 you do realize false assault allegations only occur 2% of the time which means 98% of assault allegations are true, right? Stop looking for ways to discredit survivors
Since Manson's lawsuit has came about, I would love to see an update on this situation
There have been many updates now. None that make Evan look good.
ERW gaslight Dr. Grande 😵💫
She really fooled him and Dr. Ramani. Makes me question both their credibility
@@JocelynFT I think she has been abused by Manson in certain ways. Yet is lying also about a lot of things.
It's hard to believe her at all now. But yet I do believe there was something going on. Evan needs help.
She's the one destroying her life now.
Wife (telling me about a argument with a coworker): so what do you think? Was I wrong?
Me: I’m not diagnosing anybody here just speculating on what might be going on in a situation like this
LOL
LOL
But do you use the Five Factor Model, which you remember from the mnemonic OCEAN?
He needs that line on his merch
@@humanipulationnation He needs merch. I would buy Todd Grande merch.
I wish my mother could understand all this. Just because my abuser died doesn’t mean my emotional problems are over. He got away with it. It never goes away.🤠❤️
*Did* he get away with it, really?
It's very disappointing and disheartening when women downplay sexual assault and sexual abuse. The memories remain fresh throughout the victim's life, and sometimes the victim just needs a friend or family member to talk to and they are often told, "You have got to stop talking about it and move on with your life! Just think about something positive!"
If only it were so easy. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I will send prayers to ask Him to bring you peace as you continue to deal with the trauma. 🙏
I was in an abusive relationship. I pressed charges and the guy died before it could go to trial. I also know the feeling. For me, I never got closure
You outlived him. You won. Living well will be your justice. I hope you get what you need to heal and live well.
@@spencerfrankclayton4348 what is that comment supposed to mean?
As a survivor, I cried like a baby when you were saying how to support victims. Thank you for making this video and explaining the signs and how to help, people often have the best intentions but don’t realize how long the pain stays with you.
❤❤ do you Follow Dr. Ramani? she is awesome.
It’s nice to have that empathy, but we have to remember not everyone in our lives are therapists and not everyone in our lives have to deal and be the best person they can be for our sake. I’ve been a straight shitty person and jeopardized my life in terrible ways. It’s not another person’s responsibility to take that on when I confess things to them. It freaks people the fuck out. As it should. Their own life shouldn’t have to revolve around taking care of me. That’s selfish and unfair. There comes some point where you have to be able to deal with it, functionally, and not make it a central burden for everyone you love and/or want in your life.
That was very well said.
@@yusefendure it’s so difficult for me. I think about my own experiences and people around me more less intimate, “Well, it wasn’t full on rape, why are you so upset?”
My first time I was still a child, and it was my older brother’s friend. In a place I thought of as safe. When I was a grown ass adult and an employer grabbed me and bent me over a table because we were alone was the scariest thing I have lived through. That was a moment you shut down and go into survival mode. Don’t fight, don’t antagonize. Or you’ll get hit harder. Be limp, friendly and complainant and negotiate your own release.
@@shrryph I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's horrible. I'm glad that you're able to discuss it and I'm glad you survived it.
I have a friend who almost always rejects any accuser's claims of abuse as 'gold-digging' or 'she's just trying to get rich and famous.' He just doesn't get it and probably never will. It's infuriating to listen to that type of ignorance.
I was physically assaulted by my parents as a kid. I got whipped with a belt or switch daily and I did whatever I could to survive it. 'Don't fight...or you'll get hit harder' was exactly my mindstate.
I was never sexually assaulted, but there were several attempts that I narrowly escaped.
'Well, it wasn't full on rape, why are you so upset?' That's almost verbatim what I've heard for many years on this subject. Sorry, but the denial of this disgusting type of act or the flat out rejection of it DOES do damage.
Your words hit home. Again, thanks for sharing, and stay safe...and strong!
I was molested from the time I was four to 10. It was my dad’s sister’s husband. I don’t call her my aunt because she said I “seduced him” and I don’t call him my uncle. I call him “it.” They aren’t “my” anything. He didn’t directly tell me not to say anything, but my dad was an abusive, angry man so I think: I was a prime target and I wouldn’t say anything because of how my dad was. I don’t trust people right away and actually have a long list of characteristics that I need in order to trust someone. Right now the only person I trust is my husband. Before it died, I wrote him a four page letter, front and back, telling him how what he did affected my life. My dad and brother continued to see this man, and after it came out in the open my dad asked/said “He didn’t really do that to you, did he?”
How he was caught: he used to like to take me to the beach (grew up in So Cal). He would use this opportunity to rub sunscreen on me (this is hard to write) and a man saw him doing it and said he was going to call the police, which he did. It was arrested, I was taken to the Orange County courthouse or some building and they made me reenact the abuse with dolls. It was humiliating. When my parents arrived they made me tell them, also humiliating. It told my dad “I didn’t hurt her!” Meaning physically, but the abuse was intertwined in every romantic relationship I’ve had, how I saw myself, how I thought everyone else saw me, the works. My parents never talked to me about it at all after that. It was swept under the rug and life went on
Omg that sounds horrific! It sounds like a monster! Not a man 😒
I honestly think sexually abusing a child is about to just as bad as murdering them…they may not be murdering them physically but they murder the child’s spirit, their sense of innocence.
Hugs to you Mama! I hope you’re doing well today. I’m happy for you that you found a supportive ally in your husband, that’s so important! Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. The person who abused me justified the abuse by also saying he didn’t “hurt” me since he just “touched” me and nothing else. I struggle a lot with what happened and try to make sense of it all. I notice my romantic relationships often suffer due to this. I’m so happy you found your husband and you two were able to build a trust. ❤️
This hurts my heart for you. Please know that sharing so transparently is helping others, possibly giving courage to someone afraid to reach out for help. I sincerely hope writing about it was healing in a way. It's hard enough without judgement from those who don't understand. I appreciate everyone's openness bc the public needs to be educated. All the best to you ❤️
@@MissBmoney I’m sorry you went through that, too 😢. My husband has a sister that was molested so he is pretty understanding. He has three sisters and it was his older sister. His mom cut off contact with the creep (it was his mom’s brother and they were really close before that). No one else in the family cut off contact. I’ll never understand that dynamic in families, where they stay in contact with the pedo. Members of my family did that so I cut off contact with them. Unfortunately, my husband’s mom was murdered in 2004 and I never got a chance to meet her.
My heart breaks for you. Just know you are in my prayers. God bless you dear.
Your respect for abuse survivors is part of the reason I follow you. You are a person of dignity and grace, and I appreciate you so much.
@Ja Ja DingDong yes, she is.
@Ja Ja DingDong no, she's not.
@Ja Ja DingDong no
@Ja Ja DingDong stfu
@Ja Ja DingDong troll troll trollll~ she is. Did you also think she was lying when she came out about her abuse years ago without mentioning names? Look at edwins video on this
For me, one sentence summarises our society's attitude towards abuse: "I saw it but thought it would not get any worse". As long as we think such behaviour is OK in small doses, nothing will change where abuse is concerned. When is abuse - any kind of abuse - ever OK? Even in small doses, it is not OK!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I agree. The mere fact that the abuser accepts it at all shows the success of the abuser.
I came home one morning and my boyfriend started tossing me all over the apartment. As my stepfather quickly headed for the exit door, he said, "Don't hurt her", as the abuse continued and I lost the child I was carrying. Thanks, dad.
@@caroleemorais7920 I'm so sorry for your horrible experience and your loss. I truly hope you got rid of that boyfriend and the cowardly stepfather. What an idiot he was!
A child raised in abuse may recognize it as wrong but still follow patterns familiar to them and choose an abusive mate. After 3 relationships where it turned out once out of the honeymoon stage, all were abusive, I realized it was best for me to go it alone. 15 years single, happy, and not looking.
This story is heartbreaking, and I'm just grateful that you handled this so carefully, and so respectfully. Thank you, dear sir. 💝
I 2nd that!
I think he really made hos only bias video here.
“The insecurities are more pronounced because of the abuse itself… so it’s this vicious cycle that rewards the abuser for gaslighting. Their ability to gaslight becomes enhanced due to their own abusive behavior- the more the perpetrator commits abuse, the more they can blame the survivor for what is happening to the survivor.” -
This is profound, Dr. Grande.
Thank you very much for this kindness. The reality of sexual abuse needs to be understood. Thank You Thank You Thank You 🙏🏽
Pro opinion: 👍❤️🔥
Yes exactly!
Can we actually get a definition of 'sexual abuse' please?
I noticed there aren’t as many jokes or humorous quips in this one, thank you for discussing this serious topic in a serious way.
I appreciated that, too.
Agreed. Some topics need more serious treatment.
Ya, he did the same when he did one on, Edgar Allan Poe.
Yeah. There's a time and a place.
I noticed that too. Perhaps 🤔 Dr. Grande is showing us his real roots and abilities in psychology?
I am already a fan of your videos, but I have to say - videos like this truly help make the world a better place because the global public is waking up to predator patterns, narcissistic behaviors, and sexual abuse. I think it’s great when you highlight those courageously coming forward. God bless!.
Agreed!
💯 Agree with you. I also think it's important that professionals show how devastating & long term the effects of abuse can be on the survivors.
Very good for community awareness !
@@catT5236 Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@catT5236 Here is the biggest Blind Spot you have in your analysis: And it’s Very Simple: Why didn’t Evan choose a good-looking “nice guy” to share her life and time with? The answer is Extremely Obvious: She WANTED Marilyn Manson, and everything that comes along with that: THE EXCITEMENT, THE S&M, THE DANGER, THE LUST, THE PAIN, THE PLEASURE. She was with him for FIVE YEARS. Give me a break. Women are not children, yet this grown woman wants us to believe that she didn’t choose that situation. She absolutely chose that life, and now she regrets it. What a child.
I think it's quite dangerous and unprofessional to give your 'opinion' on open legal cases. 1) What do you think of Manson's recent lawsuit, backed up with documents, that ERW impersonated an FBI agent while contacting women to join her cause. One of the women who was contacted blew the whistle and said Evan was coaching her testimony 2) What do you think of the fact that ERW has provided no physical evidence of the abuse she endured, 3) What do you think of the fact that her testimony about being raped on camera while shooting a video was contested by all the production people who were there in the room and said they didn't see it happen.
I have no idea whether her story is true or not, and neither do you, Dr. Todd. That's up for a court to decide.
I am surprised that Dr Grande gave a one sided podcast. And somewhat disappointed. I agree with all your comments and i thank you for having the courage to do so.
I agree-Especially given what has transpired since Evan’s campaign began in the last two years.
Wow this is like “Dr Grande talks about my ex husband”
Really though this actually made me feel extremely validated and sane. Thanks for this.
Agreed. And the biggest thank you to Evan Rachel Wood. The emotional strength it must've taken for her to come forward. I felt validated and sane after hearing Evan's gut-wrenching testimony.
💗
@Mo Elm Going by your attitude, any woman that manages to avoid you Mo should think herself lucky.
Same for me, I had a long term relationship with a man 18 years older than me. I left him because I was ashamed of how I had allowed myself to be manipulated by him, by the end I felt nothing but pity for him. I left with nothing except a few clothes and the cat despite my being the only one who worked the whole time, I was just glad to get away.
@@kategould4857 Glad you got out. Monetary possessions are replaceable. You (and the kitty) are not. 💕❤
I remember telling someone (a friend) I was abused sexually, and they responded with "and you couldn't just stop them? why didn't you leave immediately?" with a shrug. I realized that not many can understand what being mentally and sexually abused meant, and that I had to work out my issues on my own.
I could see a predator use the paralysis of abuse to confuse a person.
Wow what a horrible friend! Like what they couldn’t have said anything else first at least like I’m sorry that happened just straight to victim blaming, fuck them. Hope you’re doing good and getting help to heal from the abuse, and may your days be filled with love and laughter
Yep, people just don't understand.. and lots of times I don't understand my own reactions and actions.. I find it's usually a case of misinformation or a lack of education when people respond inappropriately.. so I try not to take it personally.. but yeah, I wasn't believed the first time I told someone.. so I never spoke about it again for 10 years.. not helpful
Some people may not understand what it’s like, but it does not mean they have to be assholes about it. They can educate themselves on the topic, instead of dismissing you like that. They are being immature. Hope, you found someone who understands and supports you. There are people out there who would )
@@te9591 I had a college professor who taught a relationship psychology course. She was Puerto Rican from the Bronx and just the toughest person imaginable. When we got to the topic of abuse she admitted to being in an abusive relationship for many years to the class. Frankly I was shocked. My image of a victim was a helpless maybe naive or vulnerable person. She told the class that anyone. Anyone can end up in an abusive relationship. it has little to do with strength.
“Recovering alone is quite difficult.” Truer words were never spoken. I went it solo for too long. I’m grateful to have a small support system now. Thank you for a sensitive take on this issue.
I am a survivor of years of prolonged sexual abuse so I am no stranger to it, however I think that before we jump the gun and start accusing this man before he has been charged we need to take a look at what happened to Johnny Depp. There is much more to the situation than what most people know and once you start looking into the facts the story falls apart. Miss woods is very sophisticated in her attempt to prosecute him and is very well read, she's much more slide than Amber heard. Obviously I stand behind and support anybody who's actually been abused, but we as the society cannot be jumping to conclusions all the time even if there seems to be a bunch of people on board. Just make sure you do some deep investigating before you jump to any conclusions on this fan. And I'm not a fan by any means of him but I am a fan of the truth
You are completely correct, the truth will come out just like it did with Johnny Depp. EWR was embarrassed by her performance in the video heart shaped glasses so created this allegation to avoid taking responsibility.
I agree with your comments. The allegations need to be taken seriously and properly investigated but you can’t just decided that Marilyn Manson did these horrible things based only on the words of Evan Rachel Wood
@@inshazaheer6384 funny the fbi dropped their investigation as' there were problems with the credibility of the witnesses '. I think that says it all.
A trusted friend of mine organized a party for MM many years ago and told me many unsavory things went on and he can well believe the allegations.
Agree, but that includes not assuming that ERW is lying because she is female. Let's see objective evidence. I love MM's music so I would be sad to hear his abuse is true. But, I want to know the truth. Not, conjecture. .and men are statistically are more likely to abuse their partners and get away with it.
As a childhood sexual abuse survivor, 58 years old and still struggling with depression, I can attest to the long term, life-time damage of sexual abuse. Yes, we can survive and choose not to be victims but it's a scar that forever changes us and never leaves us. Love and power to all other survivors.❤❤❤
I hear you. Love and light to you. I'm 56 years old and just now starting to actually hold my head up.
Me too . I'm fixing to be 54 the first time it happened I was 15 , I remember now , but I used to think I was 14 but I just turned 15.
@@steveedward7572 Who are you asking?
I am 55 and am beginning to realize that early sexual abuse set me up to accept more of it in my life that I blocked out but came back to me later. I'm okay, but I think it all had an effect on me. I was also 19 when I was having issues with my mental health and was homeless and an older personality disordered man took over my life for a while and there was lots of abuse. I have PTSD now from many thing, not just sexual abuse. I try and deal with anxiety every day.
@@catherinewylie6959 I understand, and I'm here for you. Truly. Anytime anyone who needs a shoulder, i have more than one, and I'll always find the time if you need it. That goes for anyone!
When I first saw the title, I was worried that this would be an analysis of the veracity of her claims. Instead, This was an amazingly insightful look at sexual abuse and the mental health ramifications. You treated her claims with the seriousness and dignity that aIl people who make these allegations deserve. It seems clear that you have a lot of experience dealing with survivors. And even though your tone was very professional and calm, I could feel the compassion that you have for her and anyone else who has gone through this.
So, what your saying is your happy someone did not question if she was gas lighting MM and the public for fame and profit like all the other Hollywood nut jobs out there.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@wildmercuryfilms true you can't judge a book by its cover we don't know that she wasn't gaslighting him and for her to walk into a relationship not knowing I call b******* she was doing the same stuff. It's technically the same old story nice Catholic school girl meets extremely bad man. What was that old song "she met him at the candy store, he rode a motorcycle." I call b*******, she accepts no responsibility for her part in her relationship.
@@wildmercuryfilms lol
As a SA survivor, I almost didn’t watch this video just because of potential triggers. However, I truly appreciated Dr. Grande’s sincere compassion and understanding. I cried buckets.
As a disabled surviver, I try to talk about these types of things online. It’s never easy, it’s essentially reliving it over and over again- but abuse and assault cannot ever be forgotten no matter how much people try to. I don’t speak on others behalf, and honestly in a way not my own because there is no gratification in being called a liar or told that “it’s not that bad” or that “I should have known better” so many times over. I speak because no matter how painful it is to do so, we cannot pretend it doesn’t happen. Thank you for speaking about the subject, and I appreciate your respectfulness very much.
Thank you for sharing
May all that is good bless you in your journey and everlasting light fill your heart for all to see.
Oh, yeah, the good ole YoU aRe an aDuLt, yOu shOulD kNow to aVoiD thEse sItuAtions. Thanks, mate. Fucking hell. Thank you for being so brave in talking about it. You’re a strong person )
My male cousin told me I deserved it 🤔
Electra Solstice ❤I'm sorry to hear of your abuse! Not only does my heart brake 😢hearing this I find myself having a visceral reaction. I want to beat them up! Although I would never act on such feelings. I'm not a violent person. Please know that I'm not the only person outraged by the story of your abuse. And bought to tears. 💕 Electra Solstice
Anyone can repeat an abuse story with seemingly heartfelt emotion. Her body language is another thing.
I was an Evan Rachel Wood fan and because of this I watched " Pheonix Rising". I knew nothing about Marilyn Manson. Evan Rachel Wood's account just does not ring true to me for many reasons. Neither do any of her interviews about this. I am an abuse survivor. I will be doing further research. The truth will be revealed. Seems strange that she is friends with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp is very good friends with Manson. And look what is coming out about Amber Heard by her own admission (recordings made by her to defame Depp but is doing the opposite) and by the credible testimony of others.
What really happened with Wood and Manson? We shall see.
Doing drugs together does not necessarily equate that two people are friends. At least, with the Manson situation, along with this detailed story, is a trail of other equally abused women experienced similar patterns and behaviors over years. TBH, Depp romances have usually been public over the decades. Until this train wreck of a divorce, he has never been accused of being abusive in relationships. Quite the opposite for Manson.
@@lizetteolsen3218 i hope you know i am a DEPP supporter! As well as manson!😊
What reason didn't ring true to you and why?
@@mamaboocee check out colonel kurta. She has many videos about the issues with erw's claims.
@@Asshat237 thanks! We think alike! i am already a fan of Colonel Kurtz!
Thank you for discussing this topic. It’s so important to remind the world that domestic abuse in any form should no ever be brushed off.
To any sexual abuse survivors, you've got this! Everyday is a chance to bring happiness and each time will make the next easier to enjoy. Know you are worthy of love and joy just as much as anyone on this planet so take it with both hands!!
Thanks. And I don’t believe her. She must need money or something. Be relevant. Attention.
I’ve follow MM and his ex wife has come out to put things straight.
@@ivonned32 Just because he didn't abuse his ex doesn't mean he wouldn't abuse others.
Thank you Belize! Ditto! ❤ I AM an abuse survivor and I absolutely believe her. Just because someone is talented and has a following doesn't make them unable to abuse a woman. I recognize that there are men wrongfully accused of abuse, but I don't think MM is one of them. I believe her for the very reasons Dr. Grande pointed out in this video. I know firsthand how I dealt with my past abusive relationship, and her actions are very similar to what mine were. No one will ever know what happened between the two of them privately but them. However I see alot of parallels between my story and hers, and that is not something that is easy to fake.
@@ivonned32 just stop. I was a fan too. But automatically not believing her and accusing her of all that is gross. Very few ppl lie about this.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
As a school psychologist, this resonates so deeply with my professional experience. I got chills listening to the summary. My thoughts are with every survivor.
What if she’s lying?
I think more school shrinks should stand up, & be vocal when a female teacher sexually assaults their male students. We see too many female teachers who get away with committing statatory r@pe, when the victim is a male student, & what's worse if she gets pregnant, she can have the courts further victimize her victim with child support payments.
You are only telling HER side. There is evidence against her.
When you stated sexual abuse starts mentally that really hit home. I remember in high school I was trying to articulate to my parents why I didn’t want to be around my ex boyfriend who would constantly show up at my house, job and events I went to... and my mother said to me it’s not like he raped you. I was 17 I’m almost 36 now and I have yet to seek real help for this. My experiences with him really have affected me through the rest of my life especially since not even my own parents acknowledged the manipulative behavior I was subjected to and the future stalking I would endure.
I’m sorry you had to suffer through that.
That sucks
Every woman is a "victim" these days.🙄
Hi tiff @ co. That's my daughters name.. I just wanted to share this with you as a fellow survivor. Let.THEM live with their sin, shame guilt.. whatever you want to call it. Shake it off YOUR shoulders. I'm sure you have done your own things that you dont like.. deal with them. They were your choice. Things done TO YOU, not the same. Dont entertain those thoughts because it will always give the oppressor power over you. You deal with what you had choice over..let them deal.with what they did. On the day they die, it will come to them. One day at a time is the best advice I have.. because you can only live one day at a time. Yesterday is gone.. tomorrow is based on how you feel today. Hope you have somebody to love you today. Keep your thoughts, in today. Bad people do bad things. You didnt do them.. be happy.
@@deansley174 no. Some of us are survivors, and we go on to met wonderful men. They are out there.. the bar is not so high once you get out of the bad stuff. Kindness is all you want, really. Abuse sucks, but it does put things into perspective.
Dr Grande asks how other people are, but we never ask how Dr Grande is. 🫂
This is a good statement. I had asked in a comment if he ever struggles with the problems of others infecting his psyche and if he needs to take steps to be on top of this. I think it’s too personal and he wasn’t inclined to respond
@Latisha Jackson 🤣 the cacti killer
@Mo Elm Good grief, how many times did you post this victim blaming bull*hit? You seem "slightly" obsessed Mo.
We love you dr. Grandeeeee
I only just recently told my mom about the thing that happened in 8th grade. I’m 50. I was in therapy for decades.
I don’t know you and you don’t know me. But I am so fucking proud of you ❤️
I'm really sorry for what you've gone through. I hope you have finally found some peace.
❤ sending you love
Well done X
Found another HERO---PRAISE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST 👐FOR YOU ❣️🕊️ XXXXX
MAY YAHWEH BLESS YOU, HEAL U& RESTORE/RENEW YOU @namastenurse
My heart breaks because there are so many comments here by people surviving abuse.
I was never sexually abused. I can't even imagine the hurt and betrayal by someone that is supposed to love you. I'm 55 years old and it can still bring me to tears and I will literally quake with fear when I think of my first grade teacher. She terrorized me for the entire year I had her. She was cruel and sadistic. Worst of all she convinced me not to tell my mother because my mother would be so disappointed with me if she knew what a bad girl I was. My mother was a widow who of course work full-time supporting me and my five other sisters. This woman convinced me that I was just a bad and worthless child. I was paddled with the board on numerous occasions. This was the first time in my life I have ever been struck by anyone. I would sit in my chair and worry what I would do next that would make her paddle me. I can think of two occasions that were absolutely ridiculous reasons to paddle me. I took too long getting tissues out of the nurse's office. The most ridiculous one was that I pretended I had Amnesia while I was playing at recess. I had seen it the night before on Gilligan's Island.
I can remember often being stood up before my fellow classmates and ridiculed as they were encouraged to join in.
I started not wanting to go to school. My mother couldn't understand why so she took me to a psychiatrist to talk to me to see if there was an issue. Of course after I spoke to the psychiatrist I watched my teacher then come into the office and speak with the psychiatrist. I remember that I lied to the psychiatrist about everything.
I was so certain I was going to be locked up in an institution and taken away from my mother.
It was many years later that I told my mother about what I went through. In the year 2000 they had a special ceremony at the elementary school. She no longer taught first grade but she remained a teacher in the school district until her retirement.
I went to that ceremony with the plan to confront her. She didn't recognize me at first but when I started to remind her of all the different reasons she paddled me she knew my name right away. Shortly after I started speaking I began to cry but I was able to ask her if she thought that the above-mentioned reasons she paddled me we're justified. I reminded her how we both went and saw that psychiatrist because my mother couldn't understand why I didn't want to go to school. She had a shocked look on her face and look very uncomfortable because there were people around listening to the conversation. Because I was crying as I spoke I am pretty sure she is the only person that knew what I was talking about.
I again asked her if she felt that striking a six-year-old with a piece of wood was OK. She said no and said " well all I can say is I am sorry and aren't we lucky that times have changed and we've learned so much from all those years ago." She use the old well that's how things were back then. Her excuse for what she did to me were it was just how they taught in the 70s.
I apologize for the long and rambling story that has nothing to do with sexual abuse.
I shared it for two reason. The first reason I shared it was because I wanted people to understand that abuse of any kind has a long-term impact on people. The abuser just gets to move on to their next victim. The victim gets to live with the abuse and it's Impact for the rest of their lives.
The second reason I shared my story is because I want to say that Susan Schneider my first grade teacher at Willow Street Elementary, in the Lampeter-Strasburg school district, in West Lampeter Township, Lancaster PA was my abuser.
Sorry to hear that you didn't get the recognition or validation from the abuser. I hope you managed to get the necessary catharsis to move on 🎉
So sorry for you . 😢
My teacher did not paddle 7 year old me, but she did regularly call me names and encourage the class to laugh at me. I was a second grader in third grade English and the bitch just didn't like it. And because they had the permission of an adult with power over them to do so, they bullied me viciously and it followed me all of the way through my senior year of high school. The town I come from is run down and trashy, and at my school everyone knew everyone else's business. Worse, she used to refer to me as the principal's "girlfriend" and taught the other kids to do the same. This was particularly awful because he was doing things to me I won't repeat here. Four teachers in that crappy school system were arrested eventually for sexual relationships with students, one from middle school. There should be an intense psychological screening test for anyone trying to get a job working around children.
Dr. Grande is playing with my mind, he moved the plants again.
Yes, Ray! Is he messing with us??
I looked right away for the plant. Lol.
In a previous video, Dr Grande said he'd be moving the plants around.
Its a puzzle
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When hearing a woman describe sexual abuse, often what they say just "rings true". Having you explain specifically WHY you believe Evan Rachel Wood based on your experience makes the examples you gave very concrete in my mind. Thank you Dr. Grande
He meant the pattern of psychological abuse, it’s standard.
I didn’t really hear any concrete examples. This entire story and analysis was nothing but abstract. I’m sure Evan Rachel Wood is being honest, if a professional senses that, but “sexual abuse” is kind of a vague allegation. We can’t really know what Manson’s being accused of without seeing the 2011 police report. It might be more helpful if Dr. Grande actually provided concrete examples of boundary crossing, gaslighting, or things we might see in potential abusers.
@@Catlady-mw4en several women have accused him of biting hard enough to draw blood. watch "jenna jameson on the howard stern show", for examples of what his specific deal is. its tricky in cases where someone's behavior is far outside normal boundaries, but when the abuser is open and honest about things, it begs the question, "was it abuse if she was well aware of what she was getting into"?.
Weak to mess with Mr. Manson
@@ice-iu3vv omg, what the hell? I’ll look for that interview. The key is consent, though, IMO. To me, abuse requires a lack of consent or intimidation.
I agree totally with the psychological part of sexual assaults. They start slowly and the perpetrators do make you feel safe for awhile. Unfortunately there are still people who believe the sexual abuse can just be forgotten but you never forget or put it somewhere in tucked away to comeany years later. This was one of your best presentations Thank-you so much💞🇨🇦
I did. I was fortunate enough to have parents that did continually act like something bad happened, thus make me feel guilty over anything.
Never forget that "Innocent until proven guilty" is how the courts work. " Guilty until proven innocent" is how social media works.
And gere we are 4 months later and we now know that Evan and her gf has lied about all of this for financial gain. They impersonated an fbi agent and commited fruad.
@@thatoneguy378 Yup. Hope this one sends the right message across... for a change.
The principle of being considered innocent until proven guilty is how the courts work, but ONLY how the courts work. We in the public square have absolutely no obligation to believe a rapist is telling the truth about assaulting women. In fact, even when rapists are taken to court, the majority of them get away with their crimes, so it's actually the victims who are "guilty until proven guilty" - both in the court AND in the public square. So step off your high horse, please. manson is a rapist.
@@brandybobandy2194 "So step off your high horse, please. manson is a rapist.". Stepping off of our high horse would make talking with you up in your ivory tower rather difficult.
You don't know that MM raped anyone. You have no reason to believe a thing ERW alledges. You have no basis of which to come to any well informed conclusion. If you were at all intellectually honest, you'd realize that this whole debacle is a giant He Said, She said. Wait for this to be taken to trial. Allow EWR and MM to present their cases and then form an opinion. Siding with someone in cases like this prior to knowing as many facts as possible is very ill advised. People have been executed due to bad standards in the judical system. I think I speak for most when I say mistakes like that, no matter how fatal or not, are things we'd all want to avoid.
@@jeffreymercado2082 youre giving your OPINION just like everyone else. there is NO evidence that Marilyn Manson did anything like that. as a matter of fact, MOST of the people in Evan and Manson's live are on Mansons side. Evan Rachel Wood is emotionally and mentally disturbed. Her own family has admitted this.
"The time to support a survivor coming forth is ... ALWAYS."
Simple, and powerful.
Yessss
I greatly admire people who speak up after having suffered sexual abuse. I am a survivor who never felt safe enough to open up about it. This happened in my youth. I am 66 and I am still affected by it. Thankyou Dr. Grande for addressing this painful topic.
sending love to you. you’re so strong & I’m happy you’re alive. :-)
The problem is that she is likely a false accuser and the architect of a massive MeToo hoax.
I read MM's autobiography a couple of years ago (not a fan, just have an interest in the evolving new music scenes in Britain and the U.S.). He was very forthright about his exploits, the humiliation and manipulation he heaped on young people drawn to his outrageous persona, and his belief that victims of his abuse and degradation should feel grateful he spent any time with them at all. I was hoping there would come a point in his tale where he had an epiphany about his behavior, but when he did (sort of -- not really) it was only a realization that he had to watch out more for his own business interests and not drain his resources so much. Rachel's story is believable for many reasons, not the least of which is that MM himself brags for a couple hundred pages about doing vile and disrespectful things to other humans. She's well quit of him, and I hope she can heal and surround herself with loving, caring people.
Yeah. I was mm fan and read the autobiography and it showed a really disturbing side of him, a really self-involved, arrogant, narcissistic, side. There wasnt a moment where he would have anything positive to say about other people. Instead he constantly put people down, belittled and humiliated them. Top that with the graphic descriptions of abuse which he not only commited alone but with his band members, tour crew and members of nin, including reznor himself who is depicted engaging in abusive behaviour by himself too. Theres no sugarcoating of it either except maybe some handwaving towards hedonistic rock n roll lifestyle.
@@hhdhpublic Reznor said that part of the story was fake and that it was just to "bring him down"
He cut ties with him long ago over it.
He left a quote about manson in 2009. About how malicious he is and that he'll do anything to get to the top
Manson got away with a lot because he is so well known as a shock artist. So people expected him to do and say schocking things, and didn't take it seriously. I think a lot of people also felt sorry for him for being blamed for Columbine. He's been somewhat quiet in recent years, too. He's like that spider in the dark corner that everyone just accepts or forgts about.
shocking* forgets* sorry about the errors
I think I might get some angry responses for this so I say it in advance: not trying to make excuses for MM or blaming anyone, rather a warning.Well, a pretty pointless warning for you, anyway... It's a serious topic. I get it and I don't know much about sexual abuse or manipulation and it's affection but all the rest of what broken relationships can put you through.
But. If you read his book(I did as well) you should really think twice or more before you get any closer to him. It's really upfront what you can expect from him. Let's just say he's not a good father type.
I'm really surprised how did he managed to get relationships lasting so long.
Anyway..I really do hope Rachel and all the women can heal and leave behind all those horrible experiences.
Thank you. I have experienced everything you said here. I have had PTSD for close to 15 years. I experienced a traumatic event and then an abusive relationship directly after where what I had experienced was used against me in an attempt to demean and control me. It was very similar to Evan Rachel Woods experience with her perpetrator. I won’t even dignify him by using his fake name. So grateful she came forward. This makes it easier for other women to talk about their abuse and trauma. I am doing a lot better but it completely ruined my life for 10 years and I could not cope. I started trusting others and ultimately myself again which was the biggest blow to my psyche. I was always stuck between two thoughts and I never knew how I felt. I lost so much but I am slowly getting it back. I no longer have any contact with my abuser and unfortunately when I came forward the police wouldn’t help me. Times are slowly changing now and it is a beautiful thing. Sending love to any women that is going through this now. It will get better but it takes time so be patient with yourself. It’s not your fault and you can let go of any shame you feel. Find someone to talk to. I had to get on Psych meds. That is when my life got better. Therapy helps too. Thank you Dr. Grande.
I still think about my sexual assault everyday. I have a horrible fear of men and bad substance abuse problems even after 5 years. No one I know understands this, but thank you for talking about it! Love you dr grande
Have you ever thought about mushrooms for ptsd and addiction treatment?
My roommate and I also have a fear of men. It's hard to get over. Doing mma and getting a gun has helped me feel a little safer. I want a dog too.
@@Ray.5446. yesss that is what i’m planning for when i live on my own
@@laurenm7898 my brothers dog is so well trained. I love her. She is overprotective of his new born. And she helps calm my brother down when he has ptsd episodes from deploying in the military. She will lay on top of him and cuddle when she notices him start to get really bad anxiety.
@@Ray.5446. dogs are god
Dr. Grande, this is a video that every woman and man, young and old, needs to watch. I wonder how many people have chosen to remain silent after they have been sexually/emotionally/physically abused? Any experience of being abused is serious, and I think there are many people who feel like their experience is not worthy of receiving help, or they are not worthy of receiving help. I hope all victims will find the courage to tell their story.
💐Those are very kind words, glad you posted them.
Telling my story does me no help at all. Only being ostracized is what will happen, unless your rich then people will offer to help for a large fee. This is reality no one cares about you, they only care for themselves and how they feel about you. Sooner we realize this the sooner we can understand that we genuinely need to help others so we can feel better about ourselves. Then we have a chance of moving forward.
Do not me every person in that category, this is crap, I have worked with to many women, that have screamed,false rape, false pregnancy, I have also seen drunk women refer and call it rape,when they be the ones hanging on them, and doing the naked table dance. 2 sides to every storey. Hollywood is dying and she needs attention, is how it comes across at this point.
@biokittie thank you I was not talking about rape.
@@cathieb123 let me guess you are a huge fan? So are you just wishing you can be the next victim?
As a sexual abuse survivor myself, I really appreciate your thoughts on this topic. I feel seen and understood. Especially when you said it’s a lonely journey- because it really is.
Good point I dont belive Evan yet I was physically abused not sexually.
It doesn’t have to be. Check SIA and ACA
I hope you are doing better wishing you all the best
The journey of victims of false accusations is even lonelier, in fact, far, far lonelier, yet you seem to have little empathy for them.
If you want victims to be supported, you have to take a stand against false accusers and Evan Rachel Wood likely is one.
Dr. Todd needs to do an update to this story. Evidence is pointing to them clearly recruiting women to come out against Manson. Woods and her partner (a social activist who has had many outed lies) literally had a script given to these women, so indeed what she says is a little too on point.
Yes, but it probably won't happen. I sensed some disdain towards Manson coming from this guy and I'm not blindingly supporting Manson or anything but whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'? Guess people haven't learned much from that Depp-Heard fiasco.
There signs have always been there. Don't be so gullible.
@@StickJockeyFPV 'There sings...'? What do you even mean? 'Their sings...'? Whose sings? Both Manson and Wood's? What signs were always there? I might be gullible for not automatically throwing Manson to the dogs and leaving it to the law but you typed that comment like a person who can barely string a sentence together.
@@henrygrandpagobbleblobber6751 You better get those bifocals checked, gramps. Why are you saying "sings"? I never used that word. I did however use the word 'There" instead of "The". Give it a read again with that correction. I'm surprised you thought the whole sentence structure was off.
@@StickJockeyFPV Touché! I'm a victim of my arrogance and fully admitting it. But seriously, can I ask about what you meant by 'signs'? I'm humbled now.
I broke down crying listening to this compassionate talk and how it filled in details I had yet to come to terms with in my own series of abusive relationships. I was dismissed and devalued every time I came out with my own stories so I just stopped after time. Now i understand why, and why I cannot just get over what was done to me and other women in my family. Thank you for this.
We all as fans, tend to put our beloved musicians and/or actors on pedestals. But they need to be seen as humans capable of not only great things, but of demented and evil behaviors. And they need to be called out immediately for harm intended or completed, not hidden or whisked away just to save their careers. Nothing trumps being sexually abused.
As a true fan. Think again!
In the early 1990s, Axl Rose told "Rolling Stone" that he was raped by his father when he was a young child, which his siblings denied happened to them at the very least. I wrote for a zine (remember those?) and most people's responses, even ones who had no use for their music, were things like "Too bad his father is dead; I'd like to kick the bastard in the balls with steel-toed boots" and "I believe it; nobody gets that crazy growing up in the Brady Bunch."
It's true. I can tell you Ryan Adams, the musician, is a real piece of work. Very abusive, narcissistic. I personally know this.
@@dirtysanchez941 spill the beans please.
I've never had this issue. I don't put people with a skill I don't have "on a pedestal". My issue here is that there is a whole HEAP of accusations, and literally zero evidence to back it up. This has become the "norm" lately, where an accusation is just as good as an indictment and a conviction to the torch and pitchfork crowd. And god help you if you actually mention that there is no evidence....then, out ride the whiteknights on their fedora laden steeds to screech stupid shit like "YOU'RE THE REASON NO ONE COMES FORWARD!!!!"....yes, how dare I expect ACTUAL FUCKING EVIDENCE to ruin someone's life. What a monster I must be.
Until someone provides some ACTUAL PROOF, not hearsay from idiot musicians who haven't been relevant in 10 years desperately trying to get in the woke, virtue signaling spotlight for another 15 minutes of fame (looking at you, Wes Borland), then I'm calling this bullshit.
Scars last a lifetime...
Damage and recovery is long term...
You nailed it DR Grande...
Whenever I hear somebody say they are brainwashed I can’t take it serious
Maybe if your hollowed headed and have no brain.ya know small minded people
@James Patrick and it was ineffective.
The big issue with "brainwashing" is that if it is to be believed then anyone can retrospectively claim abuse by claiming their consent at the time was void because they were "brainwashed." I could claim my ex girlfriend abused me with whips and even though I enjoyed it and asked for it I was "brainwashed" at the time.
@@slavesteven3049 You're trying to debunk brainwashing by claiming people can lie about it? People can lie about literally anything. By your logic, cancer doesn't exist.
Whenever I hear somebody said they don't take brainwashing seriously I can't take them seriously.
Yes it's too telling.
Learning about narcissistic abuse and grooming is blowing my mind. When I was 16, I thought dating a 23 year old was awesome and mature of me. For 3+ years I knew it was an unhealthy relationship, but I had no idea it would fuck up the rest of my relationships for the rest of my life.
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@wildmercuryfilms really he’s the last person u would think? U obviously have not been aware of his entire life.
i still think it's sick that he literally wrote an entire book discussing how he abused groupies
Imagine what he has done that he won't admit to if he admits to all of that shit.
@@Thewriter317 ikr
I read his autobiography and have never been able to bob my head to his music, since
@@8thhousemoonrabbit205 same here
They believe what they do is subversive and cool. "Retro."
They're F'd up...
Dr.Grande as a survivor of sexual abuse your compassion was overwhelming. You validated the victim with not a single undertone of blame, doubt or reservation. I wish your response was typical. It would save many people from being victimized a second time.
I found a way to turn my pain into action. I refuse to let it define me or hold me back. I have embraced who I am today. I know the abuse played a part of that person unfolding. I embrace what I have learned from it, how I grew from it and how I can use it to help other survivors.
Thank you for keeping the focus on Evan Rachel Wood. For validating her thoughts and feels during her healing process.
'Gaslighting' isn't a technical term. To hear a Dr say this is a powerful tool is alarming. No offense. I was violently Abused for almost 6 years. Yes, I knew. Yes, everyone around me knew. You don't at all acknowledge that most of Evan's & Manson's relationship occurred when he was on tour. Her parents attended many concerts, attended many after parties. He took her & her family on vacations including Disneyland. They had family holidays together. To say she was isolated while on tour, while spending time with her family, while working as a professional actress & in the eyes of the paparazzi 24/7. You haven't looked into any history.. you didn't care to look at any of her past interviews where she clearly states they had a normal loving relationship, where she spoke so highly of him. You don't seem to care about any of the crimes she & her scam artist GF have committed to falsely accuse Manson. I would assume someone with such a huge following would learn about the cases they are covering.
Tbh a lot of his content is biased and unprofessional
I definitely got that too, i usually like his videos but he really missed the mark with this one …
A narcissist doesn't see things like non narcissists do. They don't acknowledge what they did was abuse because they don't see anything from anyone's viewpoint but their own. It is the most insidious and difficult type of abuse to escape and nearly impossible for people outside the relationship to grasp. The narcissist is charming, convincing, and lives to lie and deceive everyone who loves them. People are possessions, to be used and discarded at the narcissist's whim. Another example of how talent and basic human decency can often be wholly unrelated.
Only people who have experienced it can understand properly. You just described it perfectly. The last decade of my life until very recently were a nightmare due to these monsters. I think I finally am free and clear but they can pop up anywhere. Be vigilant people!! This is life or death.
No one cares
You described my mother to a T
You really contradicted yourself. Narcissist’s can definitely understand many people’s viewpoints other than their own. That’s why they’re so appealing, they know how to push your buttons. But that’s why they’re also so dangerous generally.
It's really confusing when you love one, because you give them the benefit of the doubt.
I agree that the tactics of narcissists needs to become common knowledge. It just is allowed to continue because so few people even know what it is.
@Angela James I didn't know anything about it until I saw it described years and decades after being subjected to it. I knew *something* had been wrong. Others knew *something* had been wrong. But especially those other people's explanations fell vastly short or were just incorrect.
It's far worse when you're a child growing up in such an environment, where your family is your enemy, & by proxy, everyone else, because your family is so heavily favored by the community, & they manipulate it against you.
Correct
We need much more than that. We need the thinking equivalent of MMA (the best general moves for mentally fighting) taught to every teenager. Then we can have the first generation that isn't totally fucked up.
Agreed. One of the main tactics being a mask of charming goodness... Thus the do-gooder defamation phenomenon. People who act good to get trust then take advantage cause suspicion towards anyone falling over themselves in a desperate need to help. It is not so strange.
You're so right, it never gets easier to talk about past sexual abuse especially when you start a new romantic relationship. Trying to explain to a potential partner that there are certain things you can't or won't do during intercourse is always hard and can lead to further distrust if that partner isn't understanding. A lot of survivors don't know how to talk about sexual boundaries and we often have flashbacks during sexual encounters which can be traumatic on it's own. Thank you so much for talking about this subject it's really important to me and I know many others
Not to mention the shame you feel for setting those boundaries. For other people it's normal and no big deal to do those things but you don't want to put yourself in that same situation again. I know we shouldn't feel shame but when no one else seems to have a problem with those things you feel alone and ashamed.
As right as you are, there’s also the fact that gold diggers are as real as SA perpetrators, which should have been equally talked about in such a discussion. The Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial is merely the latest prominent example. Many of us have known this since way before their trial.
Add to it that there are a lot of very suspicious things going on around ERW and her allegations
Yes
People have very weird ideas about accusations with celebs , saying nobody would accuse for the clout they could gain, nobody would lie for the money they can get from interviews and books
Ive heard of some great thought experiments e.g. when you have a group of accusers E.g. against Manson or Cosby, leave your wallet in the middle of a room with these people with your savings in that wallet in the form of cash for an hour.
It's like people don't realise that hitmen exist, that people accept money to assault people and murder people
Of COURSE people will make sexual or abuse accusations for the fame and money, the mere fact that weird hashtags like BelieveAllVictims exist is evidence of the benefits for a malicious person willing to fabricate a claim.
That hashtag is key evidence of our rejection of due process, the word "Victim" Already judges a case and renders the accuser a truthful "victim" and the accused party to a dishonest "perpetrator"
In the same way Jussie Smollett sought to steal sympathy and get his name in headlines to boost his wealth the same angle should be considered for other actors accusing bigger actors or musicians
How much would their own career benefit from making a fake accusation and being somewhat believed the second they uttered it publically?
Okay incel.
True, but Johnny did not have one other woman claiming abuse...NOT ONE. MM has three others...THAT speaks volumes to me.
@@JD-Defenders at first it did me too, then I started to look into it more. On the surface, more seems more likely, then you realize that none claimed anything prior to ERW and IG contacting them and then they “ remembered” all these repressed memories. All are needing a career reboot and a few claims were already dismissed and none have any actual evidence. No police reports, pictures, nothing… Just memories they came up with after meeting with ERW and IG
This analysis stands out as particularly compassionate.
“The time for supporting someone who comes forward with an abuse allegation is always” Thank you Dr. Grande
In my experience, the physical part of sexual assault was far easier to get over than all the rest. The physical is not what keeps me waking up screaming after all these years. Always checking my back in the store or anywhere in public. Checking my doors are locked again and again. The emotional-mental part was much worse for me.
I've been through this too. I actually scream bloody murder in my sleep and it's always dreaming of my ex's holding me hostage
@@Lady.Luck. I always see the shadow of him the doorway, and every damn time I think it's real again. We have to be able to sleep again sometime right?
I also allowed it to define me. Then I changed my mind. They them deal with their sins.. I only have to deal with mine. And I stopped entertaining the though of it.. eventually. It took practice. You ladies in the comments should talk to each other. You all KNOW what the other is feeling. Together, you would all put it behind you. I am not saying you will forget, but you could certainly help each other live with it.. atb.
Will you create a video about pathological liars and attention seekers if it is determined she was deceptive?
It's already proven. The FBI confirmed that they never wrote the letter she submitted to Court in her divorce. She FORGED a letter from a real FBI agent and forged their signature. FBI is currently investigating if charges will be brought.
I thought the cactus was a bottle of soy sauce.
Stfu
lol nice one xD
@@ishtarbabylon4869 jealous b i t c h
Ha, I was just looking at it and thought the same! Was totally thinking 'but it is'.
Yes, so did I.
I’m trying not to cry. Thank you for such a compassionate breakdown of what it’s like for survivors.
I think it’s also important to note that he didn’t really deny the allegations, he just stated that is was consensual.
But something along the line „I only love you when you do that“ is not asking/getting consent but emotional manipulation. Remember she was 18(!!) and he was 36, so he had a lot of power over her.
Also someone doing something fir their partner because they've been threatened isn't consent and neither is the person doing something because they are fearful of the negative and violent reaction if they don't.
SHE WAS 19 AND KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
@@xcv1io2v do you think it's that easy to recognize an abuser from the start? If it was no-one would get into abusive relationships.
oh yes because 19 year olds are known for their maturity. She states that it all started when she was 17, which has been proven with pictures as by now. What makes an 19 year old a full developed adult? She wasn’t even allowed to drink alcohol!? Also, every person can fall victim to an abuser not matter the age. Stop victim blaming
Claiming that it’s consensual IS denying any abuse!
Just for fact, Evan produced the documentary for HBO. It wasn’t an independent, non biased look at the case. I don’t know who is telling the truth, but there are so many opinions before the trial, that it twists thinking. I’ll wait until after the trial to decide. I definitely won’t base my decision on a documentary produced by either of them. Dr, please remember you are evaluating expert performers. Both of them are very, very, intelligent and gifted at their crafts. It is the elephant in the room.
You hit the nail on the head Dr. Grande, so much abuse could be avoided if people knew how to identify and then deal with a narcissistic abuser. Most cases of adult abuse would be stopped...unfortunately child abuse is more complicated.
Abusers seek those whose capacity will not initially recognize abuse for what it is. They are talented in this.
People make bad choices in relationships, and we must let them.
@@craigbenz4835 I agree. My friend said one of the priests that was arrested and went to jail for sexual child abuse was in his church for 5yrs or more. He said he was never abused. I told him predators pick their victims wisely. My friend would of told everyone of the abuse. That's why he wasn't targeted. The usually can tell who they can abuse and get away with it.
what are the causes of child abuse?
Well said! It is so terrible child or adult. I would work in a professional capacity helping victims but I have to say it is just too heartbreaking to see what it does to people. My gift is listening and watching for the signs.
Thank you for stating that victims/survivors should be heard no matter how long it takes them to speak up.
So often, people use the passage of time against those who have to gather up the strength to make things like this public.
No one deserves abuse.
That's a fact.
If I didn't want to be abused, I'd follow basic instincts and avoid characters like Marilyn Manson.
@@anonymousanomaly9538 his pr team begged to differ
@@anonymousanomaly9538 that sounds a bit like victim blaming.....
@@anonymousanomaly9538 Let's not victim blame.
@@rosierose5996 personal responsibility> excuses
To be fair Doc just taking this girls word for it is dangerous, everything she is saying you yourself know so does that mean the same things have happened to you, she could be gaslighting you right now.
The forged falsified FBI letters make me question everything from her and the thing that helped her. The thing's sister actually came forth w evidence left on the iPad ie rough drafts of the letter and EW's convos regarding the letter and forged signature.
@@miaknig3130 Surely that's enough to put her in jail, I'm pretty sure forging FBI letters is against the law
@@patriciaburns1033 exactly. At the v least, it negates any credibility. Then all the lies that she stated to kidnap her kid and take him out of state, the notepad which had "money " as the primary reason to make a documentary, the multiple choice survey sent to anybody who was involved w Warner, the scripted answers that she told the other recruited accusers to say... Even if the allegations had a single true claim, she and Gore are proven liars therefore shouldn't be believed at all.
It´s about time this guy had some kind of repercussion for all the messed up stuff he´s done to people. So many instances where there where victims who came forward but were ignored and harassed to the point of not wanting to speak anymore and everything kept getting swept under the rug. I enjoyed his music very much but I can´t stand musicians who brush off being a bad person as "an artistic persona" or for shock value.
Do you know what he's been accused of?
I never followed his work much, but whenever I saw him in interviews he was always portrayed as a brooding intellectual. This is the first I'm hearing any allegations; honestly thought he was one of the few "normals" that made it through the entertainment industry.
@@karin1741 Rose McGowan spoke up about it
@Melinda Bloomington8! Problem with a gut feeling is that sometimes it leads to stereotyping which in turn to distrust of certain groups of people. Depends on the individual I guess.
What? I haven’t heard anything about him abusing anyone until now!
Fun fact: I used to work w a girl who is friends w him. Her and her sister got pulled out of the crowd to go hang out backstage at one of his shows several years ago. Being a fan, she would have hooked up with him in a heartbeat, but because he was dating or married every time he came through town for a show (and they hung out) he never touched her. They did a lot of drugs apparently but she said he was a perfect gentleman, and not at all what you would expect from a rockstar, especially Marilyn Manson of all rockstars.
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents. Not saying he did or didn’t abuse ERW or anyone else, but let’s let the man have his legal process before jumping to conclusions.
The sad fact for real victims (and falsely accused) is that people DO lie about abuse sometimes. We should lean more towards belief but always demand facts/proof.
That's my favorite type of Dr. G. video. With references to his clinical work and compassion. 💖
👍💖
Thank you Dr. Grande! I was abused like this as a child and you described my experience, the impact, and my process of healing perfectly... I am grateful for the people who come forward to talk about their experiences and for people like you who offer compassion and support!
I feel in some ways this video goes off target and starts discussing abuse in general rather than her specific allegations (which are increasingly looking potentially false due to her many issues with determining fantasy and reality) I like what you said about supporting survivors...but that aside I felt this video kind of implied you believe her and accept Manson as guilty, without any evidence. Seemed more biased than usual
Manson fanboys are delusional
When he discussed the steps in which survivors reveal the abuse, I was wondering if forging FBI letters and multiple choice questionnaires were a normal part of it. I never thought that victims would feel the need to fabricate federal documents and solicit potential victims via oddly specific and detailed question lists. I feel like it hurt her credibility and only helped to undermine her allegations.
He's biased in quite a few videos. Off the top of my head, he automatically called two Michael Jackson accusers liars when one of them seems credible and very traumatized. (The other one seems full of it like Evan.) He never even entertained the possibility that one or both could have been abused. I'm guessing he's an MJ fan. I was too until I learned that he had a legal (because it was "artistic"🤮) photo of a naked boy hidden in his closet. If he thought it was good art, why didn't he hang it up? Why hide "art?"
I'll give one more example because I have limited time. If you pay attention to which political figures he does and doesn't criticize, it's easy to tell what his political views are. He only criticizes those he disagrees with. Most politicians are crooks and anyone who disagrees with that is dumb, naive, narrow minded, or all three. Just because you agree with most of someone's policies doesn't make them a saint. He's prone to black and white thinking, to use therapy jargon.
Dr. Grande, you have dealt with this difficult subject with such sensitivity and understanding, I truly applaud you and wish more were like you. I've seen Ms Wood being put down on social media for speaking up, and it's quite heart breaking to see people saying "why did she stay?", "couldn't she see what type of person he is?" and so on. Sadly, things aren't that simple.
Ummmm, just because M Manson doesn’t think he’s an abuser doesn’t make it so. So many of these types of offenders are so good at gaslighting and have so much money that they think they can offend with impunity.
And just because someone says she’s a victim doesn’t make it so.
@@waltzingpeter i dunno, todays atmosphere says otherwise... im probably willing to get a camera implanted in my forehead recording my every move
I honestly think it can happen where someone is getting abused by reasonable standards, but since they complied the entire time, the abuser sees it as consenting to the "alternative lifestyle" and honestly doesn't see how they're abusing them.
@@Lady.Luck. .... you dont "get with" Marylin Manson and not expect weird shit.... i mean, cooome on, people act as if rape fantasies and BDSM werent a bestselling novel and box office hit movie a few years ago.... its all anyone would talk about, and almost every female i knew watched the movie.... its almost like the Hollywood couch cast, its wrong, but both parties agree, they both know if they do this they get that, .... and now, they did it, got it, and THEN point a finger.... i guess we could say yea, it serves Hollywood right for being a creep, but its not like they werent an active participant.... they knew, ...she knew, she knows.... you dont hang out with Manson if youre not into weird shit
@@fattyjaybird7505 i know man, victimhood is a livelyhood, just be careful with crazies. Give your balls a tug
"The time for support is always" ❤ thank you Dr. Grande for your compassion. I wish that all survivors of this type of trauma could have access to a counselor with your understanding of the nuances of abuse.
The newest, and most insidious form of gaslighting is actually accusing someone of gaslighting.
As a nurse and caregiver, I thank you for discussing this painful topic. You're analysis is validating for survivors of abuse. Our society is only beginning to understand the pain victims endure and we have a long way to go to correct the disbelief and judgement victims encounter when they come forward. Terrible suffering. Thanks for your objective analysis of this important topic.
when I acknowledged the abuse I suffered as a child, I lost my family over it, 10 years ago now. I can really relate the consequences she described. it's crushing when your deepest fear of being rejected over it comes true. I think I always knew it would happen because my mother ignored taking responsibility for the obvious signs of trauma I exhibited. her whole life is based in toxic amnesia and I couldn't live that way anymore. it's been undescribably devastating but at least I'm no longer trapped in an invalidating prison of cognitive dissonance.
I’m glad you acknowledged it ♥️ it sounds like such a painful journey.
Wow, I learned more in this 12 minute video about abuse and supporting a survivor than I ever knew before. Thank you!
I look forward to the video on Amber Heard, somewhere down the line. E.R.W had more credibility initially. But when she and her girlfriend co-opted all the other people who have made claims together with the same lawyer using very tenuous evidence like 'the room was dark', or 'the house was kept cold', as well as including false evidence such as traceable off the internet photos claiming to be their personal imagery. This is not a good sign. She also tried to co-opt other women who in turn have said they like Manson. So there seems to be something more to this. And in times when Amber Heard (a friend of ERW) has made such damming claims against Johnny Depp, only to have each thing be exposed as lies time and again. I think its time to really tread very carefully. Things like this need to be investigated, there needs to be police involved. ERW is no saint either, no meek lamb in the woods, as she now presents herself. So without some evidence we only get her curated presentation.
I agree, not very credible. ERW also posed as an FBI agent to "gather evidence" from other women. A federal crime.
I believe her, all the things they say about MM are credible, I was his fan, and I felt like I know him, and I know him even better now after his ex girlfriends told us their story, he really is a very abusive person, not only with his girlfriends but other people too had some bad stories to tell about him...
@@luisaritosa9700 To each their own. Im interested in cold hard facts and evidence, which undermine ERW and Gore. Once people show as a matter of fact that they are untrustworthy or have lied in connection with making claims on another person. Then I don't believe such accusations as presented. ERW to me is now in the position of having to prove why she lied about a number of things, including being party to a federal crime. Everything else is merely a story that she has presented into the public hemisphere, and keenly wants people to take at face value.
@@aboutface7961 was it proved ? The accusations Manson made about ERW and her partner? No it wasn't ..So where are your proven facts?
@@Vivi-vg9lx Or.. was it proved ? The accusations ERW and her co-opted conspirators made about Manson. No. These women have put MM in the position generating a burden of proof. Meaning he has the burden in a defamation trial to obtain the proof against their claims. They can sit back and bat it all away. So you can stake a claim on some of MMs evidence in part once his lawsuit enters the California system with a greenlight, which it is has yet to do. Consider however that he is accusing them of a federal crime against the FBI. My guess is it would be a crime unto itself to make such an accusation on record against another party in law, and expect there not to be repercussions, and i doubt any lawyer would take his case if he were making false claims of this kind to build a case on ERW and co. Yet MM is making such a claim. It suggests that what evidence he has on them building a hoax is solid. Again, especially if his case is accepted by CA legal system. From ERWs perspective. This will be her opportunity now to put her case against MM into the court as well. So id assume if she has real bad stuff on MM, it will be good for her to put these things into the legal domain. Instead of twitter or such things
I saw MM in 93 when he was touring with NIN. He was relatively unknown and looking to make his mark. He asked if there were any fourteen year old girls who wanted to come up on stage and in very vulgar terms invited them to perform a specific act. I still remember the wave of angry, confused energy that rippled through the stadioum.A surge of angry youth trying to get at him, rip him to pieces. Then quickly losing themselves in the music and reveling in that rage, that madness. I was struck by his intelligence and ability to manipulate. He was a capable and deeply intelligent provocateur then. I imagine his skills only improved over time. Its believable to me that he could and would manipulate a young woman who adored him. And he may have believed that she wanted to be manipulated and controlled by him. It's a sick, twisted cycle that she thankfully got out of. I hope he at some point, takes a deeper look at himself. I hope she is getting help too.
Maybe is not proof. Maybe something is true doesn't make it true.
@@JOHNNYSGIRL1960Trying to understand your comment. Pretty sure my comment never implied that it did. And I'm certain that I never stated outright that it did. I was simply speculating as to what may be going on based on my experience in life and my observations of two very publicly known people that I do not know personally.
As a survivor myself, thank you, Dr. Grande, for the message you just put out there. You’re always so eloquent, yet direct and today some of the small things you said filled me with more hope than any clinician prior. I’m sure there are many people who feel that way too. I’ve always felt ptsd to be a life sentence... on the best days though my trauma doesn’t define me, it’s merely woven into the fabric that is me. Thank you again.
is that cacti blooming? Dr Grande must be putting in as much effort into his plants as he does into his videos! Lovely
I bet he talks to them.
It's thriving in his desert dry humor!
@@mariee.5912 I bet he talks with them too, walks with them and cultivates plant 🪴 love? Lol
As a person who was abused, I unequivocally disbelieve ERW and her fellow accusers. I feel it's a revenge and fame tactic. Before the hate-filled victim-blaming comments, I would suggest one look into the analysis of these accusations by the RUclipsr Colonel Kurtz, as she does some very in depth analysis, and is not affiliated with MM in any way. She helped me with my opinion...and the defamational counter lawsuit MM has brought forth is pretty damning, in its own right.
I completely agree with you. When I first heard about this whole things it just gave me a weird feeling. I couldn’t quite figure out what it was it was just a weird feeling. Then much later on I see one of her videos about MM so I started watching them and then I started watching videos from his other previous girlfriends, pretty much any video I could find that gave actual information and not just opinions. After seeing those I could see why I was having such a weird feeling the first time I heard about the accusations. The fact that all of his previous girlfriends all received emails pretty much trying to recruit them to do this is so horrible. I think everyone interested in this should definitely check out those videos because they really do give good insight into this case. I’m happy that MM is finally sticking up for himself through the courts and from what I heard he has a lot of evidence against these woman.
Diggin the mobile plants.
I love the old brick wall and the little consul table with the 2 plants on.
I would love to hear how a clinical professional is able to tell the difference between someone who is making up an allegation and someone who truly is a person who suffered abuse.
He has videos on malingering that’s pretty insightful.
Maybe the incidents of victims making up this sort of thing is so infrequent, it doesn’t warrant being addressed. I have yet to meet anyone who has ever wanted to make something up like this. Why would someone do that? Do you think ERW is trying to get attention, money, fame? Most likely not, most likely she is genuinely tryin to warn people. That would be the most logical conclusion instead of defaulting to “I wonder if she’s telling the truth”.
I think victims are quick to tears when recalling it.
Leah Bogan this video shows, that obviously they are not!
Well the first trait is that the person is a woman. After that, I don't know what the signs are.
I’m glad she finally named her abuser after years of living in fear.
Yeah after he makes millions of dollars doing the same thing he did prior to them ever meeting.
@@jackrainwater7966 don't rain on her parade.
@@tornadofreaks5744 hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha!!!!
Her documentary was absolutely horrific. I felt ill for days afterwards. I cant even begin to imagine how she must feel having lived it. Thank you for handeling it with such thoughtful care and compassion.
You realise she lied and is being sued for it?
Just for fact, Evan wrote and produced that documentary. I don’t know who is telling the truth, but there are so many opinions before the trial, that it twists thinking. I’ll wait until after the trial to decide. I definitely won’t base my decision on a documentary produced by either of them. Dr, please remember you are evaluating expert performers. Both of them are very intelligent and gifted at their crafts. It is the elephant in the room.
HBO should be ashamed, this is a hoax and that channel is perpetuating the hoax
She's lying and all the documents are showing that.
Ummm…it was. She was sued before it even came out. Remember an actress.
He's definitely a gas lighter. I'm proud of her strength for finally realizing this, getting away and getting help.) Stay strong. I've been there and it's scary.
Gaslighters are sinister, deviant and so manipulative !
Gaslighting IS part and parcel to a narcissistic abuser. I've been in a abusive relationship with my sister whom I no longer permit in my life. Wishing you health and love I your future relationships.
@@AimeeAimee444 ..I would agree ! I have been a victim as well to gaslighting, lies, manipulation and other forms of psychological abuse !
He made a living advertising sexual abuse for at least a decade prior to them. And his behavior is suddenly a shock...????
@@TheGubernatis ....When someone is being GASLIT they may not realize that it is happening at the time. Every situation is different, and when someone outright tries to make a sane person appear mentally unstable by purposely screwing with them, ( moving objects around, denying abuse, internet hacking with emails, entering into an apartment illegally then denying, and other mind games) it is criminal and sinister. I cannot speak for her, but I know what was done and continues to be done to me in the State of Connecticut ..and elsewhere ....it is EVIL.. in order to cover up a much worse crime !!!!!
As a child sexual abuse survivor I often find myself in her shoes. It NEVER goes away. Functioning is not really getting over it. There's a feeling of impotence, shame, pain, and regreat that plays with our very sense identity. The feeling that we are forever damaged or tainted. Feeling like people can see our humillacion just by looking at us. I'm 39 years old this day, was 4 years old when i was first sexually assaulted. It was ongoing until I was 12 years old and i still get night terrors to this day. I blocked out so many memories and inside a train in new york city the smell of liquor and cigarettes I remembered an episode of such intense abuse and I fainted. Came to hysterical and humiliated, one of the worst days of my whole life.
I am so sorry that your innocent childhood was stolen from you so cruelly. I hope that you have support from good friends and that you are getting ongoing treatment.
@@kayzbluegenes thank you. I have had treatment but it doesn't go away like i said. My abuser used to tell me I told him I liked it so I wouldn't get beat up. That gaslight and manipulation does things to anybody ever more if it's a child. It becomes a shameful thing we carry as a heavy cross.
So sorry about what happened to you. You are not to blame. I hope you find healing.
I am so so sorry you ever had to endure that. It must have been so terrible 😣 if I could hug you, I would! ❤️
You should look at Aaron Carter, holy guacamole!
I completely forgot about him since "I want Candy" and had no Idea what was going on... But there's A LOT going on! Thanks for pointing this one out, I would love to hear what Dr. Todd Grande has to say about Aaron. His IG and interview clips are disturbing in many ways!
omg, yes!
@@tinakaran9466 Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
Evan racist wood is a liar
@@wildmercuryfilms 🤣🤣🤣
You seem to have no doubt about the truth of her assertions, simply because what she describes can be found in the clinical literature. If that were true, it would seem... strange.
it’s starting to look a lot like the real Manson is his stage persona.
I was young when he was popular. For obvious reasons, his music was off limits. Looking back as a now very openminded adult and analyzing his garbage, I am shocked by what he has gotten away with. The man is evil. The lies people were deceived by it being a stage persona. That dismissed persona was his weapon. I get ill listening to/watching him. Justice is coming.
@@Lindseyisloony Marilyn Manson was based on Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson because they were both then the highlighted stories at the same time. Beauty and Madness.
That’s why everyone in the band had names like that.
Madonna Wayne Gacy- Madonna and John Wayne Gacy
Twiggy Ramirez- Twiggy and Richard Ramirez
Zsa Zsa Speck- Zsa Zsa Gabor and Richard Speck
Olivia Newton Bundy- Olivia Newton John and Ted Bundy
And even more. It was supposed to be the Ying and Yang of what the media was mass reporting at the time and how they both intertwined.
The beauty of Marilyn but the tragic death and romanticizing her death somehow.
Charles Manson and his murders and somehow using the death of Sharon Tate as a huge media story.
@@TheNraveles That’s interesting 🤔
He has always said there is no difference between who he is in public and who he is in private. No difference between Brian Warner and Marilyn Manson.
This is why, as a fan, I knew it was him before she actually named him. Anyone who has listened to Eat Me Drink Me, The High End of Low or Born Villain would realize these are about Evan and the girls that came between her and his current wife.
It's also important to state that any long time Manson fan would tell you that Pre-06 Manson is a very different from 06 to present Manson, both the person and the band.
It's like the old saying. If you dance with the devil, the devil doesn't change, he changes you.
Trigger Warning: He released an autobiography in 1998 called "The Long Hard Road Out of Hell" in which he graphically details humiliating his groupies in all kinds of terrible ways. For example he talks about putting a 15 year old runaway in full bondage gear backstage after a concert. There's another charming anecdote about the band's bus driver urinating on a deaf girl while shouting degrading comments as the whole band watches. The story is funny, see, because the deaf girl couldn't hear all the demeaning stuff the bus driver was yelling. Having read the book all those years ago (and it kind of seems like I'm the only person who did read it, which is understandable) I was unsurprised by Wood's accusations. It seems to fit the same pattern of behavior he bragged about back when he felt invincible.
I have read the book several times. it's one of my favorites.
I have read the book, when I was younger.. I remember all the disgusting shit he wrote.
That book is full of fake stories. Manson and people in it have admitted that.
That book should be treated as a work of fiction meant to cause controversy and in return sell more music.
That’s not at all saying Manson is innocent. Just saying that book is far from reliable. Just a rambling of a coke head rambling non sense.
@@1008md So, the idea is that, even though Manson has never recanted any of those highly detailed, extremely specific stories that correspond with his accused behavior, we're supposed to take it as a matter of faith that he fabricated his autobiography because he thought implicating himself in sexual abuse would sell records? What do I have to gain by making that assumption before Manson even makes the claim himself? The only conceivable reason to minimize the book is because it's so incriminating.
This stuff hurts my heart - Sexual abuse and mental manipulation is so profoundly damaging
Here are my thoughts: This story just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. Marilyn Manson is literally the last person I would think of who would be involved in S&M and tying up sex partners and biting sex partners. When Evan started dating him, I’m sure she thought she was getting a clean-cut dude who enjoyed gardening and yoga and playing tennis. And to think this guy was secretly a freak. Evan was really tricked.
@@wildmercuryfilms lol, are you posting this nonsense 10 times in this comment section? You clearly know nothing about narc abuse. Do your homework and then comment. Have a nice day.
@@Shalimar_trailsss All, but one of those comments should be deleted. One, ok. But so many? That's spam. Plus, it's wrong, too. Wild mercury must have missed the grooming and manipulation part of the case. smh.
@@wildmercuryfilms so .. she had it coming, then? She deserved it? She got what she was asking for?
Im a career musician from Hollywood and Las Vegas, and I've met so many famous rock stars who do this shit that MM did, and im telling you right now he did this. And yes, tho she was a willing "partner" no one is a willing abuse victim. She didn't stay, she left him because of it. Its interesting how your mentality actually demonstrates the issue at hand, yet you say those things as if its logical and acceptable. .
@@Shalimar_trailsss i posed a comment telling you how nice it is that the comments section in Dr Grandes vids has such kind people, and that I would take your advice and have a nice day - and then I accidentally deleted it! Lol!
Anyway, have a nice day, Lidia!
Inasmuch as my wife and I have been enjoying so many of your videos and have come to appreciate your clear, concise analysis of complicated topics and controversial subjects, which you present in a refreshingly understated, balanced and respectful manner. Plus, your subtle, perhaps unexpected humor, makes the whole enterprise all the more watchable and engaging.
That being said, we were disappointed with your analysis and conclusions regarding ERW and the very serious allegations she is making against Marilyn Manson. I was expecting you to perhaps provide a timeline of events in order to compare and where possible, corroborate each of the litigants versions of events. Also, rather than laying out, examining and even testing specific allegations, testimony and other evidence, it seems like this video lacks the kind of rigorous due diligence and critical review we have come to expect from you. Also, it seems here that essentially you are merely positing that ERW self reports certain classic symptoms of SV or IPV. I was also hoping for some allowance for the possibility that the plaintiff may have researched typical symptoms and the most salient difficulties, after effects, behaviors, etc.
In any case, i understand MM has made his bed to the degree that he intends his MM persona to be a transgressive, confrontational, provocative figure, so in making his defense, he begins at somewhat of a self inflicted disadvantage. Serves him right since much of that aspect of his act is a little corny, age inappropriate and even a little lazy or limited, i.e., shocking in all the most unoriginal and uninteresting ways. However, Mr Warner’s likability issue only means that those of us hoping to make an accurate, useful analysis of the case must be extra vigilant against bias or prejudice.
Perhaps you would consider a more detailed explanation of why you find her claims to be credible or conversely, why you do not find his account as convincing as hers. Also, are there any indications that the plaintiff in this case may suffer from some mental illness or condition, eg., personality disorder, that might provide some insight into this he said she said situation. Anyone who claims to be the victim of abuse has the right to be heard and to confront their abuser; but their account also needs to stand up to scrutiny. Let’s not jeopardize the gains we have made via the #metoo movement by a failure to use our legal and societal institutions, our critical faculties, common sense and discernment in order to process these cases in an appropriate, judicious manner on the way to a fair, productive resolution. #AbuseHasNoGender
Unfortunately I wouldn't expect that, his covering of Amber Heard did the same thing even after she had testified.
It seems Dr. G has a weak spot for attractive young celebs. Almost like his discernment goes out the window when they open their mouths to speak.
Does that drawer contain typical drawer stuff: a 15 year old cell phone, an old menu for a local takeaway restaurant, some semi used batteries, some keys that have long since seen a lock? Great video as per usual.
and a pen with no cap
How have you seen my drawer? This is way too accurate 😂
This comment made my whole day. He didn’t diagnose our drawers, but he accurately speculated about what might be going on in a drawer like this one.
Thank you, Dr. Grande, for handling this issue with respect and for indicating that it is courageous for anyone who has been through sexual abuse to tell someone else about it no matter how many times they've disclosed the matter, and how it takes a very serious toll on the survivor. That is something so many survivors of abuse understand, many of whom told someone and received not support or understanding but disbelief, anger, denial and minimisation of just how impactful that type of abuse is. As a survival of CSA, I was one of those who reached out to tell someone I thought would be understanding of the symptoms I was experiencing as a result which were from PTSD. Instead, the person's reaction was to tell me I was "only damaged physically" and to basically get over it. This person's response had me feeling invalidated and it actually exacerbated the PTSD so I didn't feel I could talk to anyone about it and didn't receive the therapy that might have alleviated some of the PTSD. It took a long time for me to trust anyone else again to tell them about the abuse and thankfully this was someone who was supportive and empathetic and helped me start the healing journey which included seeking therapy. Decades later, I went on to become a therapist and focus on helping other survivors.
❤️
As a survivor from CSA, we need to understand that the abuser, will groom those around the target as well. Often pushing to see what they can get away with, and laying the ground work for denials. And say using it as cover if they slip. My biological father and his side of the family ( who were aware and actively covered it up) all engaged in these behaviours.
Thank you for this. I am married to a narcissist and it’s been 6 years of hell in earth. Rape in marriage is different but the psychological and emotionally consequences are still terrifying. Everyone around me blamed me and he seemed to keep a great mask on while I reacted to the abuse in ways that landed me in jail for the night. I even thought I was the one with a personality disorder turns out it was C-PTSD! My therapist is the one person who I know hears me. I am quietly building the strength to have boundaries and I know there will come an opportunity for me to escape…but for now I escape in my mind and get stronger and smarter.
Rape in marriage is no less devastating than any other. You do not hand over your bodily autonomy to someone in marriage, your boundaries need to be respected and you sure as hell do not owe "sex" to anyone ever. I hope you find the strength to leave. Remember you have so much support behind you even when it doesn't seem like you do. ❤️
Jesus loves you I'm so sorry your going through that.
Get the f out of this situation. NOW
Wonderful! Never look back.
Run away from the narcissist. Never look back❤
It’s almost worse because the person you marry is meant to love, nurture you and protect you from harm, as you would them. A huge betrayal and horrific to come to terms with.