It seems less like love and more like enabling. At some point, if all you do is coddle, you're actually doing more damage. But I take your point. Fuck people who murder their reasonably decent families. Wtf.
It's really depressing that he went on to murder everyone in his family. He did a trip with his brother, so he must have had a somewhat good relationship with him to go all the way to Japan with him. To turn around and murder everyone who loved him and looked after him. That is really disheartening.
Esp as his brother Cody paid for Grant (around $10,000) to go with he & his friend in the hopes that a break away would get him to break free from his addiction.
@@katiestewart2487 Losers in his position tend to distort their perception of reality through denial to avoid the painful truth of their status, aka the lolcow mentality
My own brother got caught up with a scam in Tijuana’s zona rosa - he kidnapped me to use my Spanish to pin this woman down, he loved her so much. He let me go when he’d gotten his intel. I should have pressed charges.
question: is there a way I can do this without it being like only fans? no offense to sex workers but I do not wish to exploit my body as a ways of making money. I'm a pretty, young woman, but I'm unable to work a job where I have to stand on my feet for more than 30 min.
The true hero in this case is Jason Amato, the last living son. He was put in an impossible situation and responded with grace, compassion and intelligence. This is a ridiculously tragic case. Thanks Dr. Grande!!💜
He handled the entire situation with grace and composure considering his whole family was murdered by his brother. He testified and it was heart wrenching
A lot of psychopath, narcissistic type people go into care work. I guess they get a buzz off keeping people alive, knowing they could end them at any time.
@@kiwiconnection3580 my sister was an excellent nurse. A horrible sister but one of the best nurses you ever ask for. She worked in oncology and ICU for 40 years. I always thought it was her lack of empathy and insight that helped her to do so well in nursing. She was detached enough to get in and perform her job impeccably without suffering emotionally from some extreme situations. She did not like working with children though and avoided it when she could so maybe she was unable to detach as well when it was a kid dying of cancer.
@@Mountlougallops true. Most people with empathy problems still have exceptions. I had emotional repression issues up until my late teens, arguably it was narcissism (caused by C-PTSD), I had little to no genuine empathy for anyone except my mother and any child in distress. I enjoyed people's company and had many friends but I saw myself as superior to them, I viewed them more as possessions/investments than people. It wasn't until a series of traumatic losses, including deaths in the family, that my repression stopped and I was able to feel normal emotion and grieve. Now it's hard to imagine a life without empathy. I still have my moments where I relapse into narcissistic tendencies but it's crazy how much my life and psyche has changed. I'm always curious when I hear about other narcissists whether there was ever a chance of them reaching that realisation. I guess it comes down to nature vs nurture. My situation was very much nurture.
"He might as well be in love with a vending machine." I have been there. There used to be this vending machine at the local train station that had all of the best snacks. The prices were cheap; I could get Twinkies for 80 cents! I mean, I was truly devoted. Then, one day, despite my earnest love, the vending machine was suddenly gone. I was crestfallen. It took years of therapy to get over it. I still struggle with the machine's betrayal. How could it have just left like that?
This is one of those cases that are both tragic but also really hard to not joke about. Like this chick he's never met got 200k off him, that's insane. If you ever need proof that sex/porn addiction is very real, this case should show you
@@joys8634 bro are you fucking kidding me? you realize what you said had nothing to do with the conversation? he's saying these people being murdered by their child makes a case for not having children. "there's no purpose in marriage" has nothing to do with my response implying that if someone murdered their spouse it would mean nothing good or bad for the case of marriage. I didn't make a case for or against marriage, im saying that damning an extremely common practice by citing a rare negative like he did is lacking in critical thinking, like you are in your comment. god why do people who think they're free thinking mavericks end up being so fucking oblivious and hypocritical, you're not even following the conversation you entered, you just said "fuck the context" and regurgitated the first dumb thing that popped into your head
Even if you manage to raise a good kid the probability of them coming into contact with kids who’ve been poorly raised by useless parents is much higher. Therefore, you’ll just subject them to a lifetime of dealing with stupidity of others and the inherent suffering of life.
Send them to college or university away and don't bail them out when they get in trouble. Lol! I have BPD, no career, no romantic relationships or friendships but I've never been arrested, never stolen from my job, and I've never spent a dime on porn. Lol! So it kinda worked. Left home at 18 because I recognised that it was toxic and somebody was going to go to jail. My father would abuse and try to control me but then got mad when I left. Lol! Good thing it was 4000 miles away so he couldn't turn up and drag me back home.
i like this setting better too. &it's not even a "I don't like change!" kinda thing, it's easier to not get distracted by other things with this format.
He took their lives because he’d become such a loser they were a constant reminder of what a failure his life was. He wanted to disappear into his fake online persona but they wouldn’t let him.
I'm sure it's quite possible to be in love with a vending machine. There are cases of people loving their cars, bridges, the Eiffel Tower and even marrying them. These people would make for an interesting video, Dr. Grande.
That's just women who go nuts after wasting their youth sleeping around and overfocusing on their "careers" for years on end, and later in life (when it's too late) failing to find a "good man" to settle down, marry, and start a family Some women decide to marry inanimate objects, others start collecting dozens of cats and dressing them up like they were their little kids, etc Anyway, have a great day
I remember the guy kissing his car. I was in love with my car at a certain point. It's a '67 Falcon. Use to have nightmares about it being stolen or wrecked. Once i dreamt someone stole the paint off of it. Lol that one was pretty intense! I did pick out the exact colour of the paint i wanted ?!! It is a rich, dark purple. Fear of losing what i loved or maybe fear of something being taken from me is probably what it was.
How did he even have access to all those accounts though? You would think that after he stole from them once, they would change their PINs or something
@@Leanne_w Here's the thing, tho - he stole from his father's retirement account. I've been fascinated by this case for awhile and still haven't figured out how he got into the accounts. I retired last year and there was a lot of paperwork beforehand and regular communication since then as I get a monthly withdrawal. I have a voice activated identifier in order to access my account on the phone, which makes me think that even my beneficiary could not just call up one day and get into my account. There are also a number of hoops to jump through before gaining access online. This identifying information would not normally be shared, even with one's adult children - and Grant was a problem before all of this - so I don't see them doing that. Credit cards are another story. It's an unbelievable story in many ways.
He didn't, he racked up a ton of credit card debt and paying it off cost his family the equivalent of their life savings. He didn't directly give his dad's 401k to the Bulgarian. Debt is debt and assets are assets.
@@calendarpage True Crime Loser has some great commentary on this case if you haven't already seen it. He goes pretty in depth about Grants spending and if you haven't seen it I highly recommend!
Man I wish we would have some of those vending machines they have in Japan (not the used panties' one, although I doubt that exists). My ass would totally fall in love no doubt.
200k dollars... I had to rewind that to make sure I heard that correctly. Power to those parents. Really thought they could get him help. The family paid the ultimate price in the end. Interesting case! Good breakdown Dr. Grande. It’s easy to understand your content 🙏
@@warrik55 she's probably not a sociopath though, she probably feels terrible this happened to that family. but if it wasn't her, it would've been another cam model so she can't blame herself.
I'd love to see a breakdown of Terry Davis. He was a successful tech guy until his schizophrenia slowly detatched him from reality and he documented a lot of it online.
@@andrewvincent7299 yeah i totally get it! but in this case i dont feel much pity for him. The image of him killing his mom who was working behind her desk just makes me cry.
Sounds like a fairly typical addiction. Just like with drug, alcohol, other addictions, the only thing that matters is getting their 'fix'. The lies, cheating, stealing, criminal behavior is all par for the course. Helping him, the way his family did, made him worse, not better. I understand their feelings of not wanting their son to be jailed. Jail is horrible, especially in the US. A lot of parents feel this way. If you never let the person suffer the consequences of their own actions, even being jailed, it NEVER ends well. Thank you for this interesting analysis, Dr. Grande. Great explanation on addictive behaviors! 👍
Excellent analysis! The idea that the very nature of addiction is an overstepping of boundaries (with those closest to the addict) brings new clarity to the challenges faced by the family. It's a good rule of thumb to use for anyone faced with the role of the enabler.
It would be interesting to see the family history in detail and how Grant went down this path and how the family dynamics worked. When not only one but both parents and the brother all agreed that Grant shouldn’t face consequences for his actions when it looks like the rest of the family behaved in a way that seems to have been responsible people.
We have 4 children, we are not perfect parents and we don't have perfect children. We had a rule, if you got into trouble we would stand with you and support you the first time, if you do the same thing the second time, you were on your own. If the family would have had a similar rule, they might be alive today. One of the most loving thing a parent can do is allow their children suffer the consequences of their actions.
The Amato family were actually my parents’ neighbors. You can see their house from my old bedroom window. I still remember the day this happened, I was living in Michigan at the time but getting updates about police in the area from a local group, and I immediately called my mom to make sure my family was okay. At that point, the details hadn’t been released. It was a huge shock when this all happened as that subdivision is practically rural, and such a horrible tragedy that really does seem completely senseless.
You know I could understand if he saw this girl and he liked her and sent her picture and started talking to her outside her job. Eventually, they were to meet because there was an interest by both parties, but to become infatuated with a girl that you've never met, let alone never have been intimate with is crazy. Then, kill your family over this because they were fed up with your addiction. It is just incomprehensible and sick.
I watched this trial...so sad and it truly defies all reason. Grant is delusional. He STILL believes this connection to the web cam girl was a real relationship. What this man did to the only people who loved and cared for him is atrocious! And to try to pin it on his brother as a murder/suicide and tarnish his memory is just awful. He is exactly where he belongs. Thank you for another thought provoking analysis Dr. Always a pleasure. 🙂
Thank you for doing this case. I'm still incredulous on how completely insane it was! How does someone become this pathetic and totally cold blooded at the same time? It's very difficult to wrap your head around.
He runs out of money and immediately thinks, "Oh! I can murder my family and empty their bank accounts. Then I can see Sylvia 10 more times!" I don't get it, either.
I’m only speculating about what might be happening in a situation like this but I feel like Amato is the kind of guy who eats cold hot dogs right out of the pack.
He should’ve been jailed after squandering his dad’s life savings. His family really did love him. Between Grant Amato, Joel Guy Jr., and Jennifer Pan it seems we’re seeing more and more cases of parent killers. Heartbreaking.
@@1maosin3 he lied about being a WEALTHY gamer. He played video games all right, so that made him a gamer. But learn to pay attention to the details before posting idiotic comments(INB4 “uR an INCel”)
When you have an addicted family member hell bent on being destructive then step back and let the law do it’s work. Grant needed someone’s jail cell as soon as he did his first fraud/theft
Surely in order to be classed as a sex addict, one has to actually be having sex, which Amato wasn’t. His feelings for Sylvie seem to have been predominantly romantic. For what he spent online, he could have easily afforded to travel to Bulgaria and track her down, so why didn’t he? I think because he knew at some level that their “love” could only exist in fantasy. I also think he could not forgive his family for “blowing his cover” to Sylvie, and that is why he killed them.
Great analysis. I have always been of the opinion that Grant Amato's biggest problem had to do with narcissism, but he took it way farther than any other case I've studied.
Not even safe to adopt. I recall reading about it in the paper, so it was 10+ years ago but, a couple adopted this kid, gave her a better then average life. She repaid them by having two dirtbags she had been hanging around with, come into the house and stab the parents in their bed. It was of course, a messy cluster-f%^$. If memory serves, I think it was because the Parents didn't want her to hang around that crowd. Such treachery and disloyalty, most especially towards Kin or Kith, can never be forgiven and can only be answered in one fashion.
@@francescawilliams8177 lol! Yeah it's called boundaries, rewards, consequences and responsibilities. Being a controlling parent isn't good. My parents were/are controlling. My sister and I live 4000 miles away from them(and 4000 miles from each other) maybe see them once a year or every two years. My parents did well on feeding and clothing and the academics. Completely failed on the E. Q. So no grandchildren and both their kids are in therapy. We learned enough academically to know that we had to get away from them. I currently have a tomato and basil plant on a window sill thriving. Sorry about your cactus.
The vending machine part was savage, Dr G. 😂 That was a good laugh! Could you do the Candy Man? He poisoned his children’s Halloween candy for insurance money.
@@bunnyblackwell6107 they are lonely dudes with low self esteem and tend to have very little relationship experience. Though some of them are just jaded having gone through messy divorces.
I can't help but wonder what kind of dynamics did he have with his family, especially his parents, when he was growing up. His behavior screams of a huge loneliness, lack of love and acceptance, inability to identify true affection and tell it apart from fiction. Like he wasn't shown the real meaning of those things in his childhood.
I don’t think he lacked a loving family. I think his father was a high-achiever, a hard worker, and so was Cody, but Grant was his mother’s favorite son, and she coddled him way too much. His loving brothers and his parents were always there to help clean up his messes, and maybe they should have just let him suffer the consequences of his behavior.
I hate these kind of websites, it’s fucking absurd. It capitalizes on loneliness which most of these loners are depressed, lost, maybe violent and some have mental illnesses. It’s just messed up.
I agree. I can only imagine how many lives and relationships have been destroyed by these webcam sites, and other sites like this. Definitely exploiting the vulnerabilities of some people.
I wonder what platform this online group was on and how he became a part of it? I wonder if it was just other guys in the cam site chat or if it was an unrelated group that happened to also know about this cam model?
"Grant Amato told investigators that on January 24 he was in a heated argument with his father and was kicked out of his home because he was continuing to communicate with the Bulgarian webcam model over the internet. Amato told police he met the girl on Cam Girls, an adult web camera website, and had been communicating with her since June 2018, while sending her $200,000." Hope that helps!
I think out of every RUclips I watch dr grande has bumped up his adds the most. A 12 min video gets like 12 adds or so. I feel like this guy addicted to watching and having to watch or skip adds to feed my addiction. 😬
Really interesting. Possibly the need to be validated by Sylvia speaks to some borderline tendencies. As someone with a BPD diagnosis myself I recognise what you say about the two categories of the prize & the obstacles. Could this perhaps be a case of “favourite person” ?
There was no way this was temporary insanity because of the in-depth premeditated planning which went into the attempted coverup of the crime scene. May the courts never grant him what he wants.
Maybe the problem is where your choosing to stick your money. You have free will: keep your money to yourself and you might attract the right type of person.
First time I've substantial questions to you at points. Open to experience? He went to Japan, but they stayed entirely on tourist track, did not venture at all, Grant referring to it as 'not wanting to impose' on locals in police interview. He 'd been unable to change from nursing to nurse anaesthetist, although apparently believing himself 'better than Cody' at the training he dropped out of. Fired for stealing narcotics, then stole from his friend, aunt, father, mother and brother... Respectfully, he's showing significant signs of addiction to medications stolen at work. He was livid Sylvie had been told who he really was - his family blew his cover, he'd lost Sylvie's The apology letter was fascinating, very angry, he first described himself in victim language, and individually addresses them, indicating that he has occupied a superior position as her shoulder to cry on. The comment about knowing her dreams reinforces this, specifically indicating that he knows them, an intimacy beyond her cam room.! Angry (passive aggressive), shamelessly entitled, he reminds me of the rash of son to parent shootings when they're told to get a job in 20s and 30s. I'd be fascinated if you would cover motives and personality for this group, or is it parenting style of the Boomers?. They should have let him get arrested for theft. Prison has substance abuse programs, he could have got help but he chose tragedy, rage and evil.
I was shocked while listening to the story at the lengths his family went to to protect him, despite what he had done to them! This probably fueled his narcissism tho. Only a narc would think that they are paying was really in love with them and that they are “special” in that way. His family was not useful to him anymore...they were getting in his way, so he just disposed of them.
To any parents watching this who have teens or young adults with these problems: *Practice tough love!* Set boundaries, enforce them vigorously, and last but not least......SCHOOL YOUR KIDS ABOUT HOW RELATIONSHIPS REALLY WORK.
Yes! I realize this comment is a year old, but I'm just seeing it now and it's one of the best I've read regarding this case... Enforce strong and consistent boundaries with kids, and don't sleep on the social skills and relationship lessons too!!
@@jensgronning4436 I think they set them too late though, and that's a problem. You need to start boundaries with kids very young, and then stay consistent with them throughout childhood and young adulthood. Just like it's much easier to learn a second language or any new skill when you are young, and it's much more difficult when you are older and set in your ways. If his parents never let him learn to deal with the natural consequences of his actions as a kid, then it's not surprising that he didn't have the skill set to do that at 29 years old. Not that this is their fault at all though. Not at all. No one taught Grant to murder, he came up with that idea by himself. He could have chosen to live out of his car at a Florida beach and panhandle for cash. Or go to a homeless shelter and see if a social worker could set him up with some resources. He could have pawned all that anime merch in his room and gotten some cash out of that. He could have drove out west until he ran out of gas. He could have joined a commune or a cult. He could have started following Phish on tour. He could have become a rent boy for people with a Nosferatu vampire fetish. 🤷 Who knows. As a relatively young healthy person with no dependents, the world was his oyster... But of all the choices he could have made, he chose violence, and he did so of his own free will. I think he just wasn't wired right from the beginning, and likely would have come to a bad end regardless of what his family did. RIP to them.💜
Excellent analysis, thanks or sharing your knowledge. I wouldn't have guessed narcissist but think I get it. You never cease to amaze with your unbiased and thorough reviews 👍 P.S. Can one get addicted to videos by an online analyst? Asking for a friend.
Only consequences can break an addiction. A man that gambles, loses everything, gets a knee broken by thugs, and lives with crushing disappointment might want to change. A gambler shielded from consequences has no reason to change.
Same with drugs addiction. I know a guy who abandoned both his kids and stole thousands, multiple warrants for arrest and still won’t change. Cause he don’t care.
Dr. Grande, maybe you should do a short video asking for subject requests for future videos. You'd find them easier. Just an idea. Thanks for doing this one, learned a lot from it. Oh, and can you do one on.....just kidding. 😁
Just goes to show, No Amato money can buy love.
I’ll see myself out.
Pfft XD Lol
See yourself IN my friend! That was excellent 😂
No, keep yourself in. Puns are the best thing ever! 😁
Well played
🤣 Well done.
I would have loved to have a caring family like this. So sad.
I'm sorry but I've got no sympathy for this guy.
Really nice caring family who invested in him
More like a family that never disciplined him or forced him to face the consequences of his actions
@@elijahgavin6706 they did
@@melissam597 too late.
I have to question the dynamic between mom and dad if he believed what he was doing was normal
It seems less like love and more like enabling. At some point, if all you do is coddle, you're actually doing more damage.
But I take your point. Fuck people who murder their reasonably decent families. Wtf.
It's really depressing that he went on to murder everyone in his family. He did a trip with his brother, so he must have had a somewhat good relationship with him to go all the way to Japan with him. To turn around and murder everyone who loved him and looked after him. That is really disheartening.
One brother survived.
His other brother was spared
Esp as his brother Cody paid for Grant (around $10,000) to go with he & his friend in the hopes that a break away would get him to break free from his addiction.
Well, it's not right to play favorites
You guys are forgetting... He tried to BLAME the brother who paid for that trip (who was murdered in the attack) for killing their parents
"She only responded when he was paying her. Somehow, Amato thought that was consistent with a true romantic relationship." 😂
What an idiot. He probably never really had a girlfriend, that's a red flag for a narcissist killer like him.
So catty. Lol😂
I am with you!
@@katiestewart2487 Losers in his position tend to distort their perception of reality through denial to avoid the painful truth of their status, aka the lolcow mentality
My own brother got caught up with a scam in Tijuana’s zona rosa - he kidnapped me to use my Spanish to pin this woman down, he loved her so much. He let me go when he’d gotten his intel. I should have pressed charges.
If Dr. Grande was a court room consultant, he could wrap up a case faster than a TV lawyer, and leave the jury asking for another case to hear! 😂👍
obviously watching anime is a Huge sign of psychopath. Good analysis, RUclips doc.
A world with no Nancy Grace... imagine the paradise
@@redram5150 Ahhhhhhhh!😍
@@dark6c159 he did not say this. You’re imagining persecution where there is none. Paranoid
born in florida.... buckle up
💀
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃
🤣🤣 As someone who is from FL, I agree 100%
kayla morris it's turning into a cliché. A man in Florida… Murders his family.
Valdosta Ga here. I believe it’s the heat.
She was charging him $10, a *MINUTE* ?! Dang, I must be in the wrong line of work. 🤣
😂😂😂
I think I'm quitting my real job today.
question: is there a way I can do this without it being like only fans?
no offense to sex workers but I do not wish to exploit my body as a ways of making money.
I'm a pretty, young woman,
but I'm unable to work a job where I have to stand on my feet for more than 30 min.
@@crybaby3710 no, if you want to exploit thirsty idiot males you need to show it off.
@@crybaby3710 Become a financial dominatrix. There are sick people out there who will give you money just for the experience of giving you money.
The true hero in this case is Jason Amato, the last living son. He was put in an impossible situation and responded with grace, compassion and intelligence. This is a ridiculously tragic case. Thanks Dr. Grande!!💜
what did he do exactly?
He handled the entire situation with grace and composure considering his whole family was murdered by his brother. He testified and it was heart wrenching
@ Nancy Jones Exactly. He seems like such a great guy. Lost his entire family 💔 I feel awful for him as well.
Don't fooled by that. You don't know if there are accomplices.
@@yandex3565 👁👄👁
"he might as well be in love with a vending machine" 😂😂
That's a true statement 👍🏻♥️
Classic!
I don't think it was love, more like an addiction
@Weeblebrox no it's a remark that dr. Grande makes in the video ;)
That is hilarious
No emotion for murdering his family and he's a nurse, very SCARY!
A lot of psychopath, narcissistic type people go into care work. I guess they get a buzz off keeping people alive, knowing they could end them at any time.
@@kiwiconnection3580 my sister was an excellent nurse. A horrible sister but one of the best nurses you ever ask for. She worked in oncology and ICU for 40 years. I always thought it was her lack of empathy and insight that helped her to do so well in nursing. She was detached enough to get in and perform her job impeccably without suffering emotionally from some extreme situations. She did not like working with children though and avoided it when she could so maybe she was unable to detach as well when it was a kid dying of cancer.
@@Mountlougallops prime example!
@@Mountlougallops true. Most people with empathy problems still have exceptions. I had emotional repression issues up until my late teens, arguably it was narcissism (caused by C-PTSD), I had little to no genuine empathy for anyone except my mother and any child in distress. I enjoyed people's company and had many friends but I saw myself as superior to them, I viewed them more as possessions/investments than people. It wasn't until a series of traumatic losses, including deaths in the family, that my repression stopped and I was able to feel normal emotion and grieve. Now it's hard to imagine a life without empathy. I still have my moments where I relapse into narcissistic tendencies but it's crazy how much my life and psyche has changed. I'm always curious when I hear about other narcissists whether there was ever a chance of them reaching that realisation. I guess it comes down to nature vs nurture. My situation was very much nurture.
@@Mountlougallops a lot of police officers in the same way doesn't mean they're bad it just it has to be drilled into them that I can't show emotion
"He might as well be in love with a vending machine" savage.
Killed his family for a woman who probably never though of him and used the money he gave her on another man
What a waste of life
Lives HE CHOSE to take. Yet you sound angrier about this woman than you do about this adult who murdered his family. Priorities my dude.
"He might as well be in love with a vending machine." I have been there. There used to be this vending machine at the local train station that had all of the best snacks. The prices were cheap; I could get Twinkies for 80 cents! I mean, I was truly devoted. Then, one day, despite my earnest love, the vending machine was suddenly gone. I was crestfallen. It took years of therapy to get over it. I still struggle with the machine's betrayal. How could it have just left like that?
ouch. that’s true heartbreak.
I had a vending machine taken too soon, that had the little Debbie giant double decker oatmeal creme cookies. I'll never forget youuu😢
Wow, nobody even called you to let you know you better go catch it? :(
I'm sorry for your loss.
@@marisu9765 people were more considerate in the 90s
I got to third base with a soda machine in Newark.
He had such a loving family and unfortunately took it for granted. His parents (and brother) didn’t deserve this
That’s why his name was Grant
He was mentally ill.
This is one of those cases that are both tragic but also really hard to not joke about. Like this chick he's never met got 200k off him, that's insane. If you ever need proof that sex/porn addiction is very real, this case should show you
Right!!!
Exactly! Except most of that money went to the "company" she works for
Wasn’t it David Duchovny who was treated for sex addiction? I wonder whether he was as nuts as this fellow?
It's not proof, it's anecdotal.
don't throw the fckin sex industry under the bus for this
This is like an advert for never having children
wtf, do you go on his videos about spouses murdering spouses and say it's an advert for not getting married? lmao how is this a sensible takeaway
@@Zach-h2l no purpose in marriage. just cultural peer pressure really,but you wouldn' t agree because you believe in the delusion too
Have to kick them out at 18, or face the consequences.
@@joys8634 bro are you fucking kidding me? you realize what you said had nothing to do with the conversation? he's saying these people being murdered by their child makes a case for not having children. "there's no purpose in marriage" has nothing to do with my response implying that if someone murdered their spouse it would mean nothing good or bad for the case of marriage. I didn't make a case for or against marriage, im saying that damning an extremely common practice by citing a rare negative like he did is lacking in critical thinking, like you are in your comment.
god why do people who think they're free thinking mavericks end up being so fucking oblivious and hypocritical, you're not even following the conversation you entered, you just said "fuck the context" and regurgitated the first dumb thing that popped into your head
Even if you manage to raise a good kid the probability of them coming into contact with kids who’ve been poorly raised by useless parents is much higher. Therefore, you’ll just subject them to a lifetime of dealing with stupidity of others and the inherent suffering of life.
Once Sylvia heard he had lied about being a gamer, it was all down hill from there. That's one thing you never lie to a woman about.
You’ve got to draw the line somewhere
lol
Lol comment of the century
Lol never say you're a gamer, watch anime, like cartoons, etc
😂😂😂
Moral of the story for families in similar position: Tough love Maintaining boundaries is the best point in this vid.
Send them to college or university away and don't bail them out when they get in trouble. Lol! I have BPD, no career, no romantic relationships or friendships but I've never been arrested, never stolen from my job, and I've never spent a dime on porn. Lol! So it kinda worked. Left home at 18 because I recognised that it was toxic and somebody was going to go to jail. My father would abuse and try to control me but then got mad when I left. Lol! Good thing it was 4000 miles away so he couldn't turn up and drag me back home.
Dr. Grande is back (in the old setting) and he's cooler than ever.
I miss this setting :’( the bricks are too harsh
@@aeris2001 But he's still cooler than ever.
@@phoebelyons7507 I like this setting better too. :)
@@phoebelyons7507 I'm not a fan of the bricks either.
i like this setting better too.
&it's not even a "I don't like change!" kinda thing, it's easier to not get distracted by other things with this format.
So sad. He took their lives for money to pay a woman he didn't know. 😩
simp
He took their lives because he’d become such a loser they were a constant reminder of what a failure his life was. He wanted to disappear into his fake online persona but they wouldn’t let him.
What an incredibly sad story. The "dark side" of the Internet is very dark, indeed.
Yes sir I agree💯
most real and ethical comment per se xx
I'm sure it's quite possible to be in love with a vending machine. There are cases of people loving their cars, bridges, the Eiffel Tower and even marrying them. These people would make for an interesting video, Dr. Grande.
That's just women who go nuts after wasting their youth sleeping around and overfocusing on their "careers" for years on end, and later in life (when it's too late) failing to find a "good man" to settle down, marry, and start a family
Some women decide to marry inanimate objects, others start collecting dozens of cats and dressing them up like they were their little kids, etc
Anyway, have a great day
👍 I remember that "Eifel tower lady". Unbelievable.
It’s called Objectum Sexuality.
That would be interesting! I remember that documentary and it was fascinating
I remember the guy kissing his car. I was in love with my car at a certain point. It's a '67 Falcon. Use to have nightmares about it being stolen or wrecked. Once i dreamt someone stole the paint off of it. Lol that one was pretty intense! I did pick out the exact colour of the paint i wanted ?!! It is a rich, dark purple. Fear of losing what i loved or maybe fear of something being taken from me is probably what it was.
Lol "he lied about being a gamer."
“I’m a gamer” that’s as lame as it gets.......
@@EricPetersen2922 somehow you missed the part where being a gamer is incredibly mainstream and normal
Being mainstream doesn’t make something less lame
I cried
@@pfclex6737 its not that it's lame, it's that off all the interesting things he could have made up he selected something as mundane as being a gamer.
How did he even have access to all those accounts though? You would think that after he stole from them once, they would change their PINs or something
You don’t need pins when using a card online.
@@Leanne_w Here's the thing, tho - he stole from his father's retirement account. I've been fascinated by this case for awhile and still haven't figured out how he got into the accounts. I retired last year and there was a lot of paperwork beforehand and regular communication since then as I get a monthly withdrawal. I have a voice activated identifier in order to access my account on the phone, which makes me think that even my beneficiary could not just call up one day and get into my account. There are also a number of hoops to jump through before gaining access online. This identifying information would not normally be shared, even with one's adult children - and Grant was a problem before all of this - so I don't see them doing that. Credit cards are another story. It's an unbelievable story in many ways.
He didn't, he racked up a ton of credit card debt and paying it off cost his family the equivalent of their life savings. He didn't directly give his dad's 401k to the Bulgarian. Debt is debt and assets are assets.
Nope his family was very dumb and trusting.
@@calendarpage True Crime Loser has some great commentary on this case if you haven't already seen it. He goes pretty in depth about Grants spending and if you haven't seen it I highly recommend!
“He might as well be inlove witha vending machine” 😂😂
Again,a true statement 👍🏻♥️
True! I'm in love with the vending machine in work. It's the only one that has Peanut Chews. I love those, too. :)
When I heard that I knew some sex-positive feminist would hear that and lose her mind even more than she already had
Man I wish we would have some of those vending machines they have in Japan (not the used panties' one, although I doubt that exists). My ass would totally fall in love no doubt.
Or a blowup doll
200k dollars... I had to rewind that to make sure I heard that correctly.
Power to those parents. Really thought they could get him help. The family paid the ultimate price in the end.
Interesting case! Good breakdown Dr. Grande. It’s easy to understand your content 🙏
They loved him too much.
Clear and lucid explanation of the events.
I enjoy Dr. Grande's humor and unbiased analysis--as always.
Thank you, doctor.
I'm so curious about how Sylvia feels about this whole thing
Seriously?! Me too
She used him and got paid. She probably could care less considering she uses weak men like him to make a pretty penny. 😂
@@warrik55 she's probably not a sociopath though, she probably feels terrible this happened to that family.
but if it wasn't her, it would've been another cam model so she can't blame herself.
@@crybaby3710 She doesn't feel terrible at all. She kept all the money and never looked back.
Laughing all the way to the bank
I'd love to see a breakdown of Terry Davis. He was a successful tech guy until his schizophrenia slowly detatched him from reality and he documented a lot of it online.
A vending machine that never drops the candy bar. Hey, I wanted a Snickers. Machine, "Insert $40 please." Uhhh, OK.
this is the only case that made me cry. his parents and brother were angels💗
The whole thing is tragic. Even Grant himself. A dude who probably dealt with self esteem issues his whole life.
@@andrewvincent7299 yeah i totally get it! but in this case i dont feel much pity for him. The image of him killing his mom who was working behind her desk just makes me cry.
@@andrewvincent7299One would with a physique and head like Grant has.
And all this time, I've been giving away conversation for free. I've woefully underestimated my earning potential.
I don't think it was just conversation she was selling.
listen i'd be mad as hell too if my name was big tomato but killing people is still not cool
Sounds like a fairly typical addiction. Just like with drug, alcohol, other addictions, the only thing that matters is getting their 'fix'. The lies, cheating, stealing, criminal behavior is all par for the course. Helping him, the way his family did, made him worse, not better. I understand their feelings of not wanting their son to be jailed. Jail is horrible, especially in the US. A lot of parents feel this way. If you never let the person suffer the consequences of their own actions, even being jailed, it NEVER ends well. Thank you for this interesting analysis, Dr. Grande. Great explanation on addictive behaviors! 👍
Well said. Period
Yup.
Excellent analysis! The idea that the very nature of addiction is an overstepping of boundaries (with those closest to the addict) brings new clarity to the challenges faced by the family. It's a good rule of thumb to use for anyone faced with the role of the enabler.
No studio today, Dr. Grande? Love your videos & especially your humorous comparisons.
Thanks Dr. Grande, I really appreciate you taking the time to look into this.
When is Dr. Grande going to give us his analysis of Dr. Grande?
(Or did I miss that one?)
He does a lot of self disclosure on his Patreon.
Only if he films the video while speaking into a mirror...accept nothing less. 😏
@@h0rriphic Good idea. He can ask himself questions. OR we could analyze him ourselves! 🤣
A livestream can you imagine that would be so awesome
What makes you think we all want to know? I'm fine with the "man of mystery" aura Dr. Grande projects. And an occasional Christmas sweater.
This one is absolutely heart breaking. Addiction is powerful. Thank you 👍
It would be interesting to see the family history in detail and how Grant went down this path and how the family dynamics worked. When not only one but both parents and the brother all agreed that Grant shouldn’t face consequences for his actions when it looks like the rest of the family behaved in a way that seems to have been responsible people.
You could say... What's AMATO with this guy?
Thank you.
Like in what's dAMATO with him?
Pretty good, I'll Grant you that.
We have 4 children, we are not perfect parents and we don't have perfect children. We had a rule, if you got into trouble we would stand with you and support you the first time, if you do the same thing the second time, you were on your own. If the family would have had a similar rule, they might be alive today. One of the most loving thing a parent can do is allow their children suffer the consequences of their actions.
I expect him to be smarter with a five head like that
Ooooffff😂😂
Forehead 🙃
lol. 🤣
Let's not bring five heads into this.. 😔
The Amato family were actually my parents’ neighbors. You can see their house from my old bedroom window. I still remember the day this happened, I was living in Michigan at the time but getting updates about police in the area from a local group, and I immediately called my mom to make sure my family was okay. At that point, the details hadn’t been released. It was a huge shock when this all happened as that subdivision is practically rural, and such a horrible tragedy that really does seem completely senseless.
Sex is the root of all evil
@@avikazak655no, it's addiction.
You know I could understand if he saw this girl and he liked her and sent her picture and started talking to her outside her job. Eventually, they were to meet because there was an interest by both parties, but to become infatuated with a girl that you've never met, let alone never have been intimate with is crazy. Then, kill your family over this because they were fed up with your addiction. It is just incomprehensible and sick.
I watched this trial...so sad and it truly defies all reason. Grant is delusional. He STILL believes this connection to the web cam girl was a real relationship. What this man did to the only people who loved and cared for him is atrocious! And to try to pin it on his brother as a murder/suicide and tarnish his memory is just awful. He is exactly where he belongs.
Thank you for another thought provoking analysis Dr. Always a pleasure. 🙂
Thank you for doing this case. I'm still incredulous on how completely insane it was! How does someone become this pathetic and totally cold blooded at the same time? It's very difficult to wrap your head around.
He runs out of money and immediately thinks, "Oh! I can murder my family and empty their bank accounts. Then I can see Sylvia 10 more times!" I don't get it, either.
Ah yes i suggested him once in the comments. I'm so glad it's finally here. Thank you!
Day one of asking Dr. Grande to use the acronym OCEAN again when talking about personality traits.
You have such a soothing voice to fall asleep too.
Appreciate your work ☺
Dr Grande is my ASMR lol.
Hasn't put me to sleep, yet. Fascinating stuff, well presented.
lol. Are you SURE that's a compliment? 😆
@@LDiamondz oh I mean there’s been many times I’ve rewatched a video because I couldn’t remember the ending 🤣
@@Jess-db3gi lol. Me, too. Or I'll have to rewind half way through cuz I spaced out a little. 😆
I’m only speculating about what might be happening in a situation like this but I feel like Amato is the kind of guy who eats cold hot dogs right out of the pack.
Wtf! I do that (・o・). But still funny joke :D
"He might as well be in love with a vending machine."
Wellll, I mean...
GREAT comment
Once again a true statement 👍🏻♥️
Yeah, a great analogy - but at least a vending machine gives something back
@@writestuff8180 LOLOLOL
Truth!!
He should’ve been jailed after squandering his dad’s life savings. His family really did love him. Between Grant Amato, Joel Guy Jr., and Jennifer Pan it seems we’re seeing more and more cases of parent killers. Heartbreaking.
Jasmine Richardson is the worst of all, her case is truly sickening and heartbreaking
“He lied about being a gamer” WHAT
He was probably describing Esports.
Maybe she said she's a gamer, it could happen especially for ewhore that prays on online losers
@@johnpen269 whoa settle down there, incel
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@1maosin3 he lied about being a WEALTHY gamer. He played video games all right, so that made him a gamer. But learn to pay attention to the details before posting idiotic comments(INB4 “uR an INCel”)
The brick background was kinda neat.... BUT I LOVE THE OG DR. GRAND setting!
When you have an addicted family member hell bent on being destructive then step back and let the law do it’s work. Grant needed someone’s jail cell as soon as he did his first fraud/theft
Been looking forward to this analysis for a while.........Wasn't disappointed.
Surely in order to be classed as a sex addict, one has to actually be having sex, which Amato wasn’t. His feelings for Sylvie seem to have been predominantly romantic. For what he spent online, he could have easily afforded to travel to Bulgaria and track her down, so why didn’t he? I think because he knew at some level that their “love” could only exist in fantasy. I also think he could not forgive his family for “blowing his cover” to Sylvie, and that is why he killed them.
There's all kinds of sex. Obviously this wasn't one on one in person sex, but sex was likely involved.
I’m sure he flogged it every time he saw her
Great analysis. I have always been of the opinion that Grant Amato's biggest problem had to do with narcissism, but he took it way farther than any other case I've studied.
Dr. Grande, thank you for your hussle and teaching me so much. Take care and greetings from Puerto Rico.
I cannot be a parent because I’d not be able to be this forgiving and coo over a grown man obsessed with a virtual girlfriend.
Not even safe to adopt. I recall reading about it in the paper, so it was 10+ years ago but, a couple adopted this kid, gave her a better then average life. She repaid them by having two dirtbags she had been hanging around with, come into the house and stab the parents in their bed. It was of course, a messy cluster-f%^$. If memory serves, I think it was because the Parents didn't want her to hang around that crowd. Such treachery and disloyalty, most especially towards Kin or Kith, can never be forgiven and can only be answered in one fashion.
Raising them to not be this pathetic would be good parenting.
@@thedarknessunderneathpodca6366 a cactus withers when I have it so I don’t think I’d be any better at parenting
@@francescawilliams8177 lol! Yeah it's called boundaries, rewards, consequences and responsibilities. Being a controlling parent isn't good. My parents were/are controlling. My sister and I live 4000 miles away from them(and 4000 miles from each other) maybe see them once a year or every two years. My parents did well on feeding and clothing and the academics. Completely failed on the E. Q. So no grandchildren and both their kids are in therapy. We learned enough academically to know that we had to get away from them. I currently have a tomato and basil plant on a window sill thriving. Sorry about your cactus.
Thanks for the upload Dr!👍
Dr. Grande can you do a video about the Mental Health and Personality of Annie Wilkes from the classic movie, Misery?
She definitely was not open to new experiences seeing the penguin set her off
@@ren17x50 YOU MADE ME SCREEAAAAMMMMM DBEBWHHSSH
Dude looks exactly like Stephen Miller.
😂
He does, Laura I. Wilder.
First thing I noticed! (Also, I wouldn’t be very surprised if Miller turned homicidal. Not a big step for him. )
He sure does!
A perfect storm of a restless mind and an empty heart
Steven Miller's brother from another mother...
😆
Yeah boi. Back to original set
I was missing it tbh. I've grown attached this random little room
@@SuperNuclearUnicorn Gives more of a comfortable living room feeling than the cold brick wall.
Office sweet office
I was just getting used to the brick bunker back ground! 😐
Thumbs up for the expression "yeah boi" :)
The vending machine part was savage, Dr G. 😂 That was a good laugh! Could you do the Candy Man? He poisoned his children’s Halloween candy for insurance money.
I’ve definitely seen dudes fall in love with regular strippers
But...but...but... she lurrrrves me! Really!
aleister crowley ...and she's totally just doing this to pay for Law School, I swears! 🤣
@@bunnyblackwell6107 they are lonely dudes with low self esteem and tend to have very little relationship experience. Though some of them are just jaded having gone through messy divorces.
Would you do a video on Lauren Kavanaugh? I would like to see your point of view on the issue.
I can't help but wonder what kind of dynamics did he have with his family, especially his parents, when he was growing up. His behavior screams of a huge loneliness, lack of love and acceptance, inability to identify true affection and tell it apart from fiction. Like he wasn't shown the real meaning of those things in his childhood.
I don’t think he lacked a loving family. I think his father was a high-achiever, a hard worker, and so was Cody, but Grant was his mother’s favorite son, and she coddled him way too much.
His loving brothers and his parents were always there to help clean up his messes, and maybe they should have just let him suffer the consequences of his behavior.
The thing is, I'm pretty sure the model, if she was even aware that someone murdered his family over her, has shrugged Grant off and moved on.
Great video Dr. Grande, I would love your analysis of Sidney prescott or Billy Loomis or Stu from scream franchise.
Another great video Dr. Grande! ☺️
Thank you Dr. Grande I've been waiting for your video.
His brother was extraordinary in his court appearances.
Dr. Grande, I'm a big fan, I believe your work is amazing. Can you analise the Eriksson Twins case? Thank you very much.
$10/minute?? I immediately started calculating how soon I could retire if I switched “careers.” 😂
I hate these kind of websites, it’s fucking absurd. It capitalizes on loneliness which most of these loners are depressed, lost, maybe violent and some have mental illnesses.
It’s just messed up.
Really? Then why are you here, just curious?
I agree. I can only imagine how many lives and relationships have been destroyed by these webcam sites, and other sites like this. Definitely exploiting the vulnerabilities of some people.
DB choobie but this guy Amato was messed up to begin with. He's a narcissistic person. He couldn't think of any buddy else but his own feelings.
@@shelleyc.2576 he wasnt a narcissist.....
@@polarbearsrus6980 are you roasting dr grande? If so, that’s pretty clever I’ll give you that.
I wonder what platform this online group was on and how he became a part of it? I wonder if it was just other guys in the cam site chat or if it was an unrelated group that happened to also know about this cam model?
It was a group of guys who all watched Sylvie at the same time and chatted 😬
"Grant Amato told investigators that on January 24 he was in a heated argument with his father and was kicked out of his home because he was continuing to communicate with the Bulgarian webcam model over the internet. Amato told police he met the girl on Cam Girls, an adult web camera website, and had been communicating with her since June 2018, while sending her $200,000."
Hope that helps!
United Simps of America?
I think out of every RUclips I watch dr grande has bumped up his adds the most. A 12 min video gets like 12 adds or so. I feel like this guy addicted to watching and having to watch or skip adds to feed my addiction. 😬
Really interesting. Possibly the need to be validated by Sylvia speaks to some borderline tendencies. As someone with a BPD diagnosis myself I recognise what you say about the two categories of the prize & the obstacles. Could this perhaps be a case of “favourite person” ?
Thanks for podcasting ! Ars longa media site is a great initiative. Congratulations !!
This just goes to show that it's a *very* fine line between crazy and romantic.
I wouldn’t call killing your own family “a very fine line” to be honest…
thank you for all the uploads, Dr. Grande!
I remember the 5 factor model by watching Dr. Grande’s videos every day, even though he didn’t remind us how to remember it this time!
Hey Dr Grande, would you do a video on writing humour? I’d be interested to hear your methodology or tips if you have any.
There was no way this was temporary insanity because of the in-depth premeditated planning which went into the attempted coverup of the crime scene.
May the courts never grant him what he wants.
He was there for hours!! No remorse! I always wonder if remorse who’ll come while in prison- for him- for Cris Watts…
Hey Dr. Grande! Can you please do a video on Lucas Werner? I think you’ll have your hands full doing research on this one!
"He might as well be in love with a vending machine."
Story of my life
Maybe the problem is where your choosing to stick your money. You have free will: keep your money to yourself and you might attract the right type of person.
Thanks for going back to the normal format. I like this better
Thank you for your closeness. 🙂
Yes he's too far away in the new setup. I can watch his eyelashes!
@@debbiemilam2204 lol
First time I've substantial questions to you at points. Open to experience? He went to Japan, but they stayed entirely on tourist track, did not venture at all, Grant referring to it as 'not wanting to impose' on locals in police interview. He 'd been unable to change from nursing to nurse anaesthetist, although apparently believing himself 'better than Cody' at the training he dropped out of. Fired for stealing narcotics, then stole from his friend, aunt, father, mother and brother... Respectfully, he's showing significant signs of addiction to medications stolen at work. He was livid Sylvie had been told who he really was - his family blew his cover, he'd lost Sylvie's
The apology letter was fascinating, very angry, he first described himself in victim language, and individually addresses them, indicating that he has occupied a superior position as her shoulder to cry on. The comment about knowing her dreams reinforces this, specifically indicating that he knows them, an intimacy beyond her cam room.! Angry (passive aggressive), shamelessly entitled, he reminds me of the rash of son to parent shootings when they're told to get a job in 20s and 30s. I'd be fascinated if you would cover motives and personality for this group, or is it parenting style of the Boomers?.
They should have let him get arrested for theft. Prison has substance abuse programs, he could have got help but he chose tragedy, rage and evil.
I was shocked while listening to the story at the lengths his family went to to protect him, despite what he had done to them! This probably fueled his narcissism tho. Only a narc would think that they are paying was really in love with them and that they are “special” in that way. His family was not useful to him anymore...they were getting in his way, so he just disposed of them.
Honestly, South Florida is the worst place to send someone who is battling addiction.
To any parents watching this who have teens or young adults with these problems: *Practice tough love!* Set boundaries, enforce them vigorously, and last but not least......SCHOOL YOUR KIDS ABOUT HOW RELATIONSHIPS REALLY WORK.
Yes! I realize this comment is a year old, but I'm just seeing it now and it's one of the best I've read regarding this case... Enforce strong and consistent boundaries with kids, and don't sleep on the social skills and relationship lessons too!!
His parents did set boundaries, then he killed them
@@jensgronning4436 I think they set them too late though, and that's a problem. You need to start boundaries with kids very young, and then stay consistent with them throughout childhood and young adulthood. Just like it's much easier to learn a second language or any new skill when you are young, and it's much more difficult when you are older and set in your ways. If his parents never let him learn to deal with the natural consequences of his actions as a kid, then it's not surprising that he didn't have the skill set to do that at 29 years old.
Not that this is their fault at all though. Not at all. No one taught Grant to murder, he came up with that idea by himself. He could have chosen to live out of his car at a Florida beach and panhandle for cash. Or go to a homeless shelter and see if a social worker could set him up with some resources. He could have pawned all that anime merch in his room and gotten some cash out of that. He could have drove out west until he ran out of gas. He could have joined a commune or a cult. He could have started following Phish on tour. He could have become a rent boy for people with a Nosferatu vampire fetish. 🤷 Who knows. As a relatively young healthy person with no dependents, the world was his oyster... But of all the choices he could have made, he chose violence, and he did so of his own free will. I think he just wasn't wired right from the beginning, and likely would have come to a bad end regardless of what his family did. RIP to them.💜
Excellent analysis, thanks or sharing your knowledge. I wouldn't have guessed narcissist but think I get it. You never cease to amaze with your unbiased and thorough reviews 👍
P.S. Can one get addicted to videos by an online analyst? Asking for a friend.
He might as well be in love with a vending machine. Great analogy Doctor Grande.
Only consequences can break an addiction. A man that gambles, loses everything, gets a knee broken by thugs, and lives with crushing disappointment might want to change. A gambler shielded from consequences has no reason to change.
Same with drugs addiction. I know a guy who abandoned both his kids and stole thousands, multiple warrants for arrest and still won’t change. Cause he don’t care.
@@themoon-iy1kg Well, I said "might" change, but definitely won't change if enabled.
Never heard of this case, although I am from Bulgaria. Not surprised though !!!
Why does it not surprise you though?
Dr. Grande, maybe you should do a short video asking for subject requests for future videos. You'd find them easier. Just an idea. Thanks for doing this one, learned a lot from it. Oh, and can you do one on.....just kidding. 😁