Elliot Rodger (King of the INCELS) | Mental Health & Personality
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- Опубликовано: 12 май 2024
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze the mental health and personality factors that may be at work in the Elliot Rodger murder case? Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: / drgrande
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: Author.
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"He thought a BMW would help him find a girlfriend but all it does will help you find a mechanic."
Ok but I didn't see that coming 😂
Yeah, that one was a fun comment =)
🤣
It was the "help you find your tools in a parts store" that made me snort.
You ain’t lying
Dr. Grande isn't lying on that one. Luxury high end cars like BMWs, Mercedes, Volkswagens and so forth are expensive and you gotta pay more for certain parts to keep them up.
He wasn't even unattractive but you can sense the crazy from a mile away
He honestly wasn’t! I would go as far as to say he was pretty good looking. I think he was genuinely just a very shitty person and women could sense that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
yeah thats the thing. he thinks its because of how he looks like. he forgot he's a massive prick thats why nobody wants him
@Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana hm... fair point.
My thoughts exactly. He was quite handsome and had a BMW so you know there was definitely something wrong upstairs and people could feel it.
@Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana I think your right , it was his lack of social skills. It seems as if he felt women( more specifically ones he desired ) should pursue him . Wich is not the way things typically work in us humans , particularly younger attractive women .
It's also worth pointing out that by his own admission Elliot never actually *tried* asking girls out. He expected the girls to be the ones actively trying to date him, and he got mad when that didn't happen
That right there says everything.
I blame the narrative that men and women are equal at everything. Nope the man has to do the asking out, impressing, and attracting. Women can just be passive and selective.
@@patrickx9409 And youre fine with that? Women want equality.. apparently.. so they should start asking out for a change. But they only want equality when it suits them.
@@FloppityFlopFlop777 No it doesnt, people associate trying with getting, and its not the case ive been trying to get a gf for 38 years since i was 4 years old and they all said no all the time, dont be so presumptious, (sorry im dyslexic i cant spell)
@@mcpartridgeboy we should go out sometime for dinner 🌹
The fact that he failed to recognize how cringey he was describing himself as magnificent, superior, supreme, intelligent, good looking etc tells you enough about the reaons for the issues he was facing with girls.
And? Even if he didn't do that, he still wouldnt be enough. Ignorant feminist airhead.
@@anderson-gb8rp Ohhhh boy. We have an unironic Eliot Rodger defender in here guys. Jesus.
@@tylerchambers6246 Im not defending him, he killed 2x more men so no hero in my book. You know Im right with what I said, he wouldnt be enough no matter what.
@@anderson-gb8rp Wait a second, he killed more men than woman so THAT is the reason he's no hero in your book? So what, if he only killed a bunch of females, THEN he'd be a hero? You're sick dude. Anyway, I'm enough for my girlfriend. You know, there's plenty of happy couples in the world. I don't know what your point is, that no male ever in history has found success in the world of relationships? That women are genetically incapable of relationships? That love is impossible? What are you even on about. I hate feminists too but I don't see what feminism has to do with your apparent belief that it's impossible for men not to get fked over when it comes to females.
i mean he wasnt very good looking either...
I remember a moment in one of his videos where he approaches a woman walking her dog and he makes a remark, assuming she'll be rude, but when he passes her by she ended up being really polite and rather than admit he was wrong he just moves along and doesn't mention it. I just think it's telling, like he wanted her to be rude to him so he could stimulate his animosity, like "see, all people are pieces of shit."
did he do pua or something? cant imagine him approaching women.
I'm sad I missed his vids
@anderson based
I'm incel, that other guy is just a dick who hates women because he's frustrated.
Yea some ppl are addicted to negative thoughts ..they need certain things to happened to confirm their own world view and their own existence..
Elliot was the type of dude to go to a strip club and expect the girls to pay him
Lol he is also the type of guy that would stalk a girl if she ever went out with him. Total stage 5 clinger.
STONKS
Exactly we all men want that at some point of our life but women are rarely going to pay.
@@joeadler5379 the only catch that catch seemed to catch was a bullet , hmmmm , strange ! what a gentleman!
@@sabalsharma337 Women aren't as visual as men and we have lower testosterone levels which render us having lower libidos.
In order for us to match that of a man, we would become less feminine and therefore less of a woman.
One big thing is Rodger was never actually really rejected by a woman, he had this weird idea that they would all come to him and if they didn't it meant he was completely undesirable. He didn't seem to understand dating and like you said had negative views about women being super superficial and only into men for their wealth or power.
Women are very superficial, especially nowadays with tinder and other dating apps. If he were attractive to women, they would've approached.
@@STEELGMBL but did he even try to approach a woman?
@@STEELGMBL oh, so just like men since forever?
@@barbarazottis5915 Most men take what they can get and that's the truth. We can't afford to be picky from a biological standpoint. When you think of men however you seem to, you're most likely thinking of rich men/pretty boys who have tons of options
So women laughin at him isnt rejection?
7 mental health experts were seeing him at the age of 8????? And the parents saw no warning signs? Crazy!
Shows you how useless therapists are
@@starfox300not really
@@drugstore999cowgrl for men definitely
If he ever got a girlfirend,he would eventually become needy and insecure and the girl would leave. He would sink into depression and probably end up at the same spot as he did.
Either that or possessive and overly jealous.
So true!
...or he’d change as a result of realizing just how counterproductive his previously overt dependency issues were.
Nah, just kidding.
@@bucketstuck7137 lol
He was not even sane
One thing I've taken from these videos is that if you find out someone has their own manifesto you should probably keep an eye on them. Not good.
I’d run for the hills.
Well, it depends on the manifesto in question
@@MultiSenhor Maybe el manifesto de delusion. LOL
@@MultiSenhor Stable people don’t have manifestos
@@sourgreendolly7685 I'm stable, but have a manifesto......just in case. Muhahaha!
The dude wasn't even unattractive, the real problem was his personality
LOL
This is such a typical response, Elliot Rodgers was absolutely hideous , probably a -10000/10, I would've done the same.
@@jamesl5203 he wasn’t, change his hairstyle and put him on tiktok or Instagram nowadays and girls would be all over him.
Everything about him was repulsive except his looks. I consider that unattractive.
@@jamesl5203 he may have done something terrible but that doesn’t change the fact he checks the box when it comes to facial aesthetics he was handsome jawline etc still evil etc but ugly wasn’t his problem
From his videos it's clear, though he pined away for a girl, he never really tried. Indeed, he seemed to expect women to sense his problems, somehow, and make the first move. He was like a baby. Then, he mentions how the other college kids are 'hedonists', and how they would probably reject him, if he tried to join them. He talks himself into losing before he even starts.
Exactly. It's like he convinced himself that there was no point in trying, because all people were assholes. However, he wasn't actually putting in the effort to make a connection in the first place
Ngl I have that same exact mindset. Normies like you wouldn’t get it because you never lacked love in your life. I’m not saying that killing those people was good. But I get Elliots way of thinking. Some people are just not meant to enjoy life. It’s the harsh reality
@@donda8021 You should challenge yourself on this big time. See if you can find 100 random people to be assholes towards you starting from tomorrow. I am sure you are gonna find it difficult to hit that target. i lack parental love in my own life. My father wanted me aborted and my mom refused because of religious reasons, however, she made sure she spent every day of my growing up years, telling me that my dad wanted nothing to do with me and wants me aborted and all because of me, my dad started treating her badly and it was all my fault. So I spent my whole growing years being physically and emotionally abuse by my mom because she told me her life is misery because of me and she often told me that she wish I was dead. I grew up like this. But I still can hope and believe someone could love me. You must try too. And I found good friends and good lovers in my life. For me, it's because my parents treated me so badly like I was dirt beneath their feet that literally every other human being in this world treated me better than my parents. So if you had it as bad as me, it should be very difficult to find people to treat you as badly as whoever abused you initially. I went to a school where teachers practice corporal punishment and public humiliation. I got publicly caned on stage infront of the whole school for catching tadpoles in the school pond. It was methodist. And honestly, there is definitely some serious child abuse going on in there. However, because I was treated so badly at home, even those teachers seem like angels. And if I told my mom what my teachers did, she would sing their high praises and say they are doing a great job. I got my hair pulled and head slammed into walls by teachers for forgetting to bring my textbook etc.
@@donda8021 The sheer fact that you have designated yourself as something abnormal is already setting you up for failure. Obviously everyone has different life circumstances and different stressors but their are many ways to ensure an active enjoyment and appreciation of life. I spent some years in HS and college pining over women and wondering why no one liked me etc etc. I had friends but still felt like an outcast, felt depressed, and isolated myself. I then made a simple decision, I was going to choose happiness. I had already made a decision as a very young person that I wasn't going to pay much attention to what people thought of me. This was me deciding to not allow other people (or my perception of other people) to ruin my mood. I started to actively force myself to interpret the actions of others in the most forgiving possible light and suddenly I found that people weren't actually being unpleasant to me. I started to force myself to ask people questions about themselves and suddenly conversation came easier. I made a conscious decision to choose the type of person I wanted to be and within almost no time at all I met my future wife. My friends quickly solidified into lifelong friends. And I have carried this mentality into my career with great success.
@@donda8021 TLDR choose to be happy and see the world and the people in it in a positive light. Not for them but for yourself. Choose to find happiness in what you are and you will find that people will join you to share that happiness with you.
It's kinda ironic that he took karate class bc violence is power..the first thing they teach you when taking ANY martial arts classes is that fight is a last resort. Like they teach you how to avoid violence and danger.
It's like what Mr. Miyagi once said: "Rule #1, Karate for defense only. Rule #2, first, learn rule #1"
I can tell from the comment that you're a kid
When I studied Five-Level Method Shorin-Do Chinese Kenpo, I was taught to always seek a way out and that fighting was a last resort.
It's a major piece of the philosophy that is taught early on.
The best way to become a good fighter is to actually fight.
Martial arts is to conquer ourself not to show power to others..rodger probably skipped that class
I’m familiar with this case...amazing how he tries to throw the girls off the ledge, and yet when the other party-goers throw him off the ledge in retaliation, he manages to convince himself he’s some tragic victim...
yeah its honestly sad that someone can lack the most basic insight into the point of views of other.
in his mind they deserved to be thrown of the ledge, but he saw himself as perfect so it happening to him was a terrible unjust thing cause others deserved it but he didn't
He may not have been thinking clearly if he drank too much (typical young person party behavior), and may even have been in a blackout. Ledges and alcohol don't sound like a winning combo.
@@evelynwaugh4053 thats how he thoght all the time its just the drink lowered his inhibitions to actually act out on his thoughts
@@sponish0 This is certainly possible. It's also possible that his decision to end his life allowed him to express and act out his contempt, or that his newfound martial arts skills gave him the confidence to act out his hostility. Many of us (perhaps not you, though) have done fairly stupid stuff while under the influence, and yet manage to live a long life without any arrests or notable antisocial behavior.
I'm positive his problems weren't the result of not being able to get a girlfriend. Even if he suceeded in getting a girlfriend, it wouldnt last. He had so many serious mental & emotional issues, a long-term relationship would take a miracle. Who knows what he'd do in a breakup.
Autists are extremely insecure and relationships in general are about navigating the partner's ups and downs in addition to one's own--the most uncontrollable conjunction there is. Also the most valuable for its superlative difficulty.
He'd probably killed someone. Everything in his behaviour led to this path. Sooner or later.
Go ER
Exactly.
@@lrsb1678
What
This right here!!!
"He looked at the world and believed that everyone had the same thoughts and feelings that he had. He believed everyone was narcissistic. It didn't make sense to him that there wasn't some materialistic formula he could use to connect with women."
I mean there kind of is a formula to attract women. Women are extremely hard to attract.
@@eulalawrence4885 i don't think you should generalize all women (even if you possibly are one).
Maybe that's the formula he knew of people trying to connect with him
@@eulalawrence4885 lol. I am not a magnet.
@@helenacorreia7613 unfortunately, i agree with you. If it's all you know, then that's the lense that you view the world through
Imagine being his mother and finding out your child went on a murder spree because he "couldn't get laid."
Kinda blame society tho..buddy was crazy but he could have been nurtured..
She couldn`t give less of a fuck
@@venti7669
That's kinda psychotic and explains a lot.
@Chris Kyle are you actually insane? Asian has nothing to do with it??
If I remember right I think it was his mother who helped him buy the BMW in hopes it would help his chances of finding a girlfriend. His father was the director of The Hunger Games and had Hollywood connections, I think he actually tried getting his son a hooker once or recommended it. It has been a long time since I really looked into this incident.
Note to self: ask first dates if they’ve written a manifesto.
Karl Marx gets eliminated it seems😆
LOL but novels and screenplays can also be red flags. See recent deadly incel Scott Beierle
@@deltahomicide9300 screenplays gets a pass, everyone has the Hollywood bug every now and then . But playwrights on the other hand.... remember the Virginia tech shooter?
@@hellofaname Let's face it it's not the medium it's the violent content. A mass murderer can write a haiku and it'll be disturbing. Yes I remember. My Korean friend said him and that other guy in Oakland brought great shame to Koreans
Lol that's good. Probably a good idea
I feel guilty for it, but I feel really bad for him. I'm autistic, and when I tell people today they're shocked or even think I'm joking. But it was extremely obvious when I was younger. Pretty much all of Elliot's behaviour, minus the obsession with women and sex, was me until the age of ten or so. I hated everyone. I could not understand anyone else's feelings. I was always confused, upset, angry, and scared, hypersensitive to noise and other sensory stimulation, I got tired quickly but could never seem to fall asleep, I never made any friends. And I resented everybody around me for seeming to sail through these enormous barriers I struggled to overcome, I hated the fact that they couldn't even see them, or me.
My mother somehow convinced me to do summer clubs when I was around eight years old, before that I refused to do any extra-curricular activities because of how badly I was bullied at school. Every time I tried to be friendly and approach other kids, they just told me to go away. Wanted nothing to do with me. So I completely understand that feeling of crippling social rejection. All I ever wanted to be when I was younger was "normal", and because I felt that would never happen, I just wanted to be an adult.
I'm extremely glad that I learned to cope with my autism and accept it, and learn how to behave normally. I'm grateful that the way I've turned out as an adult has made my family proud of me as an individual. It took me until I was sixteen or seventeen years old before I fully learned to let go of that old mindset and enjoy life (not to say I'm finished growing as a person or anything). I feel so, so bad for every autistic person who can't adjust for whatever reason, because I've been there, I can see their perspective, and I can now see the "normal" perspective that was so perplexing to me when I was a child.
You were never the same as Elliot. Look at his manifesto, he thought he was God's gift to women and was upset when women didn't just approach him for a date right after looking at him. No doubt, he would still be an apathetic a-hole if he managed to ever get a girlfriend.
I was looking for this exact comment. Some Elliot’s autistic traits sound similar to mine and that haunted me. I’ve never been formally diagnosed so for me it has been a special kind of hell that even most aspies don’t know! Glad to hear some climb out of the rut…can’t say I’ll ever be one of those people tho…
@@lrsb1678 I too am in the “back and forth” stage, let’s hope we both don’t go backwards.
@@joedirago14 The fact that you're self aware enough to see yourself in others means you're absolutely on the right path. Stay strong and don't be too hard on yourself.
Did your therapists help in a way?
Elliot: "man why do I have no friends its so unfair"
Also Elliot: insults people who sit next too him at a party
Good eye
Learn to spell.
I can just imagine him getting pushed, falling off the ledge, breaking his ankle and getting laughed at while he cries 😂
He was probably thinking “Fucking Chads and Staceys always being mean to me, the great Elliot Rodger” 😂
I hate this "dr"
"Semi Automatic Pistol"
=
"Wet water"
Reeeeee
I am going back into therapy with a new doctor tomorrow(Dec. 10, 2020). I haven’t seen a psychiatrist in over 10 years but because of these videos I decided its long past time to get help. So, thanks.
I wish you the very best, I hope it helps!
You re doing the right thing . Best of luck
It may well change your life, good for you
Good luck mate, and don't forget to just enjoy and experience everything life has to offer. A day doing that is worth 5 therapy sessions.
Update: I went. The doctor was easy to talk to. I hope everything works out well this time. 👍🏻
Something important that you forgot to mention is that he had severe identity issues due to being bi-racial, was extremely racist (he hated seeing mixed race couples more than anything), and he hated his Asian heritage. I think this self-loathing at the core of his very being must have contributed to his ultimate fate.
His mother is a bigger racist :-)
Interesting
@@anomitas why
@@rompecabeza1509 I never saw an Asian woman emasculate an Asian man like that in public and I live near Toronto.
@Vidyasagar Rajesh Yea, I wasn't even a member of that PUAhate forum, that only reason I found out about it was because a member of their community invaded a bodybuilding forum I used to visit and consistently preached about how working out is useless and being born with amazing "facial aesthetics" is what matters. Eventually someone else discovered that this poster likely came from the PUAhate forum which was basically a forum filled with guys whose views are similar to Elliot himself, the forum eventually got shut down after Elliot's shooting however with many people blaming that forum for molding Elliot to the terrible person he became.
his narcissism is what drove him crazy, I'm autistic and yes I had a time I thought I was special, but I learned no one is special, humans are humans plain and simple.
I think everyone goes through that phase at 3-6.
that’s unfortunate
@Stormtrooper Have you ever read the poem Ozymandias?
Not narcissism only low levels of bpd
Autists are normally not narcissistic anyway. Elliot Rodger was also a Masochist because he was obsessed with his pain.
"Bought a BMW so he could get a girlfriend"
I bought a C400 and all I got was more bills and compliments from dudes.
Yeah like most things, you just get more attention from dudes, which is funny. Like if you work out or get good at a sport you will get complimented by dudes.
😂
So buying a car is the thing to do if one is gay and seeks to attract men, then?
hahaha yep, it's literally only dudes... ever.
That's the thing, men think women will date them if they have money. Yeah, women like money, but they're not gonna date you if you have a Lamborghini as well as lice. It's just a perk for them.
Nothing can ruin a person more than his own mind
Just be unattractive like me, it ruins everything more than anything else. My bone structure and body type have doomed me.
@@geneticfailure59 Your life isnt over my friend, someone out there is destined to meet you. Get the best out of your body as long as we are young. Be your own bestfriend because at the end of the day only you are the one that can changw anything. I believe in you and so should you
@@geneticfailure59 you just confirmed the post you answered.
@@geneticfailure59 That's pretty sad tbh
True true
I love that Dr. Grande doesn't hold back insults. We often treat mental illness as though it absolves us from responsibilities these days.
I strongly disagree. Sociology teaches about “the sick label” some take it and abuse it, some reject it. Spectrums people!
@@samf.s8786 their still mental disorders thought 😺
I'm diagnosed crazy BPD. I work really hard not to kill people. First step is admitting your problem. Homicidal thoughts. Second step is finding out coping strategies for not acting on homicidal thoughts. If you have poor impulse control this is going to be really hard. So at the moment I'm limiting the amount of time I spend around people. The professionals know we are homicidal/suicidal but they can't do anything unless we do something like slit our wrists or stab someone in the thigh. That's was the problem with Eliot a few doctors knew he was on a bad trajectory but they couldn't get him or his parents on the prevention program. I take daily meds twice, I see a personal trainer twice a week, I got to a support group twice a week. I see a therapist once a week. I go to my supermarket job and try not to kill customers twice a week. If I'm feeling like I might do something, I call the crisisline, they assess me and if needed send a crew out. A lot of this is self monitoring otherwise they'd have to lock me up. If Eliot didn't monitor himself and his parents didn't monitor him, you end up with homicides and suicides. It seems simple but the way how the mental health treatment world system is designed, it's easy to slip through the cracks intentionally or unintentionally.
@@marleyhill34 Wow very good for you. Mind if I ask you, how do you find the motivation to not succumb and deal with all of this?
@@ep3989 I've been in and out of therapy and off and on meds since 2001.
Elliot saw romance as a prize, not a partnership
My daughter was an Alpha Phi at UCSB. Her bedroom window looked into the lawn where two of the female students were killed by Elliot Rodger.. Tragically, there were deaths and injuries inflicted by this very disturbed young man. Seven years later my daughter still deals with the trauma when the media covers mass shootings. The front door can never be open when she visits and the sound of a car backfiring or loud fireworks trigger fear and anxiety. How sad that this young man had all of these thoughts and feelings inside and no one could seem to help him. Even worse, so many UCSB students have this tragic event that is a shadow over their college years.
I'm so sorry, I hope your daughter is doing better and getting the help she needs...
Your daughter sounds weak
@@gon3302trolling is the ultimate weakness.
"Usually, people who wanna kill all of humankind don't qualify as altruistic"
🤣
they usually have problems finding girls, too. funny, that.
“Usually” 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
I mean, humanity does kinda suck. Both men and women...
That’s called misanthropy btw. Inceldom is something else if you didn’t know. And misanthropes aren’t necessarily bad people. All of this is just made up on assumptions and stereotypes if I’m gonna be honest
People who went to school with him said he never attempted to talk to girls. He stayed in his own little shell away from everyone. So I don’t really understand how he was feeling rejected when he never even tried to get to know people or make friends. Dude was super delusional and definitely lived in a world of his own making.
He probably expected women to approach him. I can picture him sat alone clenching his teeth while angry at the fact girls aren't queuing up to compliment him on his $300 sunglasses.
I remember going to school with a bunch of dorky boys in high school. I was one of the dorky girls so I could relate. But these guys would literally just sit all by themselves in the cafeteria and play Magic Cards and never interact with anyone. They weren't total social outcasts hated by everyone or anything -- they got invited to things. But they never EVER came. I never saw them at school dances, never saw them at the mall, never saw them at parties. Then at the end of highschool, we found out they had made a LIST ranking all the girls in our grade based on, like, *virtuousness* or something. It wasn't just looks, it was them ranking how GOOD we all were. It was insane. Like, they didn't even know any of us at all, and it was especially hilarious because one of the girls they had ranked as #1 was my friend and I knew from attending all the parties they refused to go to that she was no saint after the school bell rang.
So, whenever I hear guys complain that "no girls would talk to me," I always give them the side eye.
@@zammmerjammer I can only speculate on what might be happening in a situation like this but dorky boys absolutely love lists, charts, stats and that kind of thing and often lack the social understanding to see how creepy stuff like this is especially if any of them are on the spectrum (which is quite likely).
School is tough for kids like this. When all of your interests are seen as uncool and you lack basic social skills it's hard to interact with other kids and there's a non-trivial chance it will lead to you being bullied or make a fool of yourself further damaging your reputation. From their perspective it doesn't seem worth the risk when they already have a couple of close friends who share their interests. It's clearly not true that no girls would ever speak to them but it sure can feel like that when you've been repeatedly rejected (potentially in rather nasty ways).
Yup ur comment is spot on
He was very mentally ill - he was once shown porn by a classmate at the age of 14; and he ran away crying and got his mother to take him out of that school. Normal 14 year old boys watch porn themselves, only a very strange one would run away crying. His manifesto shows a very strange autistic angry kid.
You must put an enormous amount of work into these videos-- your uploading schedule is impressive in this context. Fascinating. Thank you.
He's good example of highly unsocialized person, thanks to his parents.
I've met unsocialized women who come from seeming excellent homes, 'nice' parents, and good educations. They are passively rude, impolite, dismissive, uncommunicative, self-serving, and self-entitled.
@@RideAcrossTheRiver but not men?
Not defending or enabling the parents over here but maybe he was unsociable period end of story nothing to do
U blame his parents? Wtf is wrong with u
@amery smith going down the toliet syndrome. Damn smh.
If sex is one of your top or is your priority in life you’re very likely gonna be more frustrated or forum a sort of addiction
Yet good looking people have it so easily.
The problem is that sex is a top priority for almost 99,99% of males in the planet. And by the way this males also have testosterone. And if rejected they get super fustrated. Thats why in nature the segregate sexually. If that does not happen in nature i will apology and i will correct my mistake based in science. If chimps and gorillas are not equal to us in terms of dna in a 98% i will say sorry again. I just want to know the truth man.
@@KingDanny9 AHAH! It's a joke?
@@alessandrap4733 I wish it was a joke. Everyone knows looks matter more than personality.
@@KingDanny9 not really. If you look better you have more chances to get some hate than get it easy. Sorry, the human tragedy is not solved by a beautiful face. In some cases being unattractive can make your life easier.
I have trouble writing a 10 page paper let alone a 137 page Manifesto
Lmao
@@millsykooksy4863 yeah 10-20 OK but 137?! who is this pleb William Shakespeare? I wouldn't do what he did though my inner demons couldn't break loose if they wanted to
137 pages just to say "It's society's fault women won't sleep with me so I'm going to kill everyone?" He definitely needed an editor.
really? cuz writing a 10 page paper is easy asf..
I'm a literature major, and in my experience everything that has been labelled Manifesto is usually a boisterous pile of (debatable) grandiose ideas 😅
Your presentation is perfect: outlining the basic facts, very level-headed and humble interpretation, dry humor that doesn't interrupt the flow. Concise and dense.
‘It seemed like a depressing job assignment.’ I absolutely love you dry humor, Dr. Grande!
Goes to the wrong house and the people there assault him. Sounds like he makes a great first impression on people.
Ha ! 😂
It’s probably cause he was drunk
@@patricknazarian1267 and Autistic
@NoseKey agreed cause grande briefly mentioned while telling the story that he called the cops on them for it and pretended he wasnt the instigator
@@Aaron722076 Especially if guns are easily available.
There were times girls showed interest in him but he only wanted the unattainable ones, and didn't want to put in the work to get a date with them
@J. W. K. Whether it lasts or it doesn't it's always worth it. Everyone goes through heartbreak and it usually precedes finding love.
yeah a point many don't know but he was lusting after taller, blonde women, whom would be considered 'model quality'.
If you have to work hard to get money, it begs the question, "Is it worth it?!"
@@imzjustplayin I wasn't blonde and he was trying to talk to me.(he must have been over it by then)
@@sonyvalencia Are you asian? Were you taller than him?
I really didn't think I would think this, but I actually feel kind of bad for him. It's obvious to me that he had a very bad experience with his parents divorcing, that is REALLY bad for children. And because of his ASD, it wouldn't occur to him as to why people don't want to be near him.
I know how he felt. Real shame he had to go and do this horrible crime :(
Yes, it’s sad that he never got the help he needed. It seems to me that his parents didn’t know or otherwise didn’t get him the help he needed or sat down with him to properly discuss his thoughts.
i think you have made a very good analysis. I do believe he had a distorted perspective about humanity, others, women and how world works in general. what really impressed me the most is how he see things with double standarts and how he keeps falling into inconsistencies and self contradictions. He states he have the right to live a happy life and then he took lifes of others, he states his whole life was a story full of sadness, pain and anger and then that he was a happy blissful child (even if his chilldhood doesn't looks like that). he states he was trying to be a better person so women liked him but he was actually focusin on his expensive car, clothes, sunglasses etc. He said humanity hated him but he was the one who actualy said i hate you all women and men of this world. He said nobody wants him as a friend no matter how much he tried, but he was actually only trying to get along with cool and popular guys and beautiful women. I think he was very troubled and he lived under extreme pressure for a long period of time wich he couldn't handle. So i tend to believe he didn't actually have a severe disorter (compares to other cases) as i see it but he didn't have any moral values or ethics to prevent him from what he did eventually. Its a shame he looks like he have some skills but he didn't have any idea how to communicate them to the world. His background didn't help of cource. Sad story with many victims. Watching the father of one was devastating whille the story of another brings some hope that community members stands for each other and are unite, the only good from this case.
I am not a psychologist, but an observation I have had regarding this type of man is that "any" woman is no good, it must be an incredibly desirable "cheerleader" type, not an average-looking (or below average) woman or girl. They are fixated on looks that are predicted by media, for instance, models, female television stars, and so on.
Indeed, good observation.
Oh, absolutely. It's a sense of entitlement to date far out of their league that's typical of incels and MGTOW.
@Borfis Jort 1-most overweight people are much older than he was 2-he lived in California, not exactly overrun with overweight people 3-what country are you talking about?obesity is a worldwide epidemic
Do you really think that an average bloke will take "any" woman?
Duh he views himself as "perfect man", of course he will have high expectations for his woman
I always find it interesting that people believe that they "deserve" special treatment. I mean, sure, we all need special care at some instances in our lives, but to have an actual mindset that one is "above" anyone else.... That in itself must be the very first step to sociopathy. It is a blessing to feel "at one" with others rather than to be separated from them, even if in an "elevated" position. Thank you, Dr. Grande.
He wasn't really asking for 'special' treatment. He just wanted a relationship like everyone else, but he couldn't get one, most likely due to underlying psychological issues.
How's asking for the same love and affection everyone gets asking for something special?
His desire for affection was natural, but to see others as "beneath" him is what I refer to.
@@petermaclauren2788 He was very entitled and had so little empathy that he could not imagine what others want of think. Also, I once read that he was abused and neglected by his father and step mother.
@@gufestus4106 He was very very far from thinking he deserves the "same love and affection" everyone gets. You seem to forget that nobody gets "love and affection" everyone needs to earn it. He had the delusion that young pretty women somehow have it easy, because they can afford to be superficial, because he had so little empathy he could not imagine what others feel or think.
I appreciate Dr. Grandes evidence-based well-researched backdrop of stories compared to others who make these exaggerated comments and graphics to gain attention to themselves. On top, Dr.Grande always makes the effort provides a final synopsis and knowledge about mental health. It rare to get quality information on RUclips platform
This guy was completely sick in the head. I’m 47 never had a girlfriend. I’ve been rejected by literally every woman I’ve asked out. I’m social awkward and I’m not a good looking guy. I have no social skills or relationship skills so I can’t blame any woman for not choosing me. In fact I don’t even bother trying to date. I just focused my energy and finances elsewhere. Never have I ever blamed anyone for my lack of romantic success. I never had any desire to ”lash out” and go in a rampage. This is one messed up guy. I hope he’s suffering wherever he is. Sorry. No sympathy at all. I just feel terrible for his victims.
👍
Finally, someone offering an informed profile of Roger's psychology without politicizing the narrative somehow. Excellent work!
I've read through his manifesto myself. You immediately get the impression that he thinks of himself as a wildly talented writer. He often misuses large words, makes grammatical mistakes, and his prose is weirdly self-indulgent. As a small sampling of his particular brand of narcissism not directly mentioned in this video:
-His mother was at one time in a relationship with a major figure in the motion picture industry with a massive net worth. Elliot pressured his mother to marry this man so that he could live in luxury and leverage his wealth and status for his romantic endeavors. When she refused, Elliot reasoned with her that by doing it, she would be making his (Elliot's) life infinitely more comfortable, and that she should do it regardless of her own potential suffering in order to make him happy. He could not understand why this argument upset her, and branded her refusal as selfishness.
-Elliot enjoyed traveling on airplanes first class, so that he could smile at and gloat over the people that he passed in line at the terminal gate as he boarded before them.
-One of Elliot's schoolmates once visited him at his mother's home, which was located in a lower middle class neighborhood. This schoolmate began telling others that Elliot was poor. This rumor upset Elliot so much, he brought a photograph of his father's (more expensive) home to school, and frantically began showing the picture to his schoolmates to prove that he wasn't poor.
-Not long before he planned his attack, Elliot began spending large amounts of money on lottery tickets. After reading "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, he firmly believed that he was fated to win the lottery (thereby achieving the wealth and status that he felt entitled to without working for it), and that his own power of positive thinking could achieve this.
-His intention to become wealthy through a lottery win occurred to him after a stretch of years in which he had decided to become a successful and rich novelist. He abandoned this prospect because he did not wish to invest the time or effort in writing a novel if it meant potentially waiting years to be paid substantial money for motion picture rights. He never mentioned having any specific novel ideas, or any bodies of writing outside of his manifesto.
-Elliot frequently daydreamed about being a world-conquering totalitarian dictator, which included plans to systematically outlaw sexuality and imprison/murder the majority of the female population in concentration camps via starvation.
My favorite part of his manifesto is that he explained of how angry he was when he saw young couples for walking down a sidewalk thinking that they're better than him.
I USED to want to be 1 of those when I was younger!
@@somerandomguy4919 why favorite?
His attempt to essentially pimp out his own mother is one of the most repulsive elements of this case. Little dude was a raging narcissist, but for my money, he could've been demonically possessed, too.
> Elliot frequently daydreamed about being a world-conquering totalitarian dictator, which included plans to systematically outlaw sexuality and imprison/murder the majority
of the female population in concentration camps via starvation.
Well then, it's probably a good thing he didn't manage to get a girlfriend. I have a feeling that wouldn't have gone well.
And when she inevitably broke up with him after a few weeks, his hatred of the female population would have gotten even worse.
I guess this is what happens when a narcissist lacks the superficial charm and manipulation tactics to get *all* the attention they need. That has to be the worst thing for a narcissist. And dangerous to the rest of us.
Absolutely. You see a glimpse of it if you ever cut a typical narcissist off - they lose their mind for a bit before they go off to find new victims.
@@sourgreendolly7685 I agree. Try ending any relationship with a narcissist and they can't accept it. If you go back to the relationship, (because maybe you don't know they are a narcissist), they act like they did YOU a favor. They behave exactly the same way they did that made you leave in the first place
@gotsda Oh, definitely. He got zero attention, and it fueled his hatred and rage. So, the brother idolized him. Did he turn out ok, I wonder? It seemed like his parents did all they could. I hope the brother is nothing like him.
I disagree with the idea that his need for admiration was the sole driving factor in doing this. If that was the case, he wouldve went to a crowded place and try to break the record for most deaths in a shooting. So if it was a Stephen Paddock situation, 70. College school shooting, 33. High school shooting, 18. Elementary school, 21 and egc
@@sourgreendolly7685 id be interested to hear you elaborate on that, sounds like you've had some 'interesting' experiences
Self hatred, isolation and desperation are the key elements that I pick up when I read some of his manifesto. I also blame his parents. Mothers and Fathers are so supposed to support the self esteem of their children. Engage with your child. Find out why your child is sad or lonely. Compliment your son. Tell him he is a handsome boy. These things go very far in building up the self esteem of a child. Self esteem is learned indoors at home and then it is manifested and grows outdoors at schools, camps, and other social settings. There was never any true foundation to Elliott Rodgers self esteem. He was a child crying out for help and the help he needed was not provided or was not adequate. Self hatred, Isolation, and desperation can only result in one of two things. Suicide and or Mass murder .
Me personally, I cannot be upset with Elliott Rodgers's racism because it comes from a deeply hurt and tortured soul. Someone deeply hurt will look for anything to make themselves feel better. For Elliot it was his British ancestry. Elliott Rodgers should be a cautionary tale for all parents, teachers, adults an mentors. Children needed to be mentally nourished or else bad things will happen. So such a sad and wasted life, and such a horrible thing done to innocent people
Note to self: Ask first dates if they would ever refer themselves as a supreme gentleman.
Further proof women don't like gentlemen. They like a man who is set on some trajectory that allows them to have a better life than they have (but I could be mistaken about that).
@@climatebabes it’s a joke mate 🤣
@@climatebabes she was very visibly making what we call a joke brother
"Well... it depends on how humble I am feeling in that moment..."
His parents at least attempted to help him. I feel bad for his victims, especially his roommates. Imagine trying to live with a person like that.
His parents used him as a pawn in their divorce. They didnt really give a shit about Elliott. His dad also made a terrible film about god. It's truly awful.
Especially ones that stab you to death
We have to take into account rejection female high standards and the area he was living in the blackpill is real
Everyone gets rejcted the hateful blakcpill philosophy online needs to stop
@@gamewarrior666 Oh my god!
I kinda wished Rodgers just stayed learning karate and then eventually MMA instead of doing what he did. I like to think it wouldve been a good outlet for him instead of focusing on relationships
Hell, pretty much any life decision other than "kill my roommates, random people and then myself" would be an improvement lol
@@worsethanjoerogan8061 you got a good point
What frightens me is the number of people who fail to have any insight OR refuse to have any insight about their own behavior. I mean I think 1 out of 4 people that I know seems to live on a superficial thought level, and have no understanding or consideration as to how other human beings perceive them. These same people seem to have no remorse, seem entitled, and most of the other narcissist characteristics. Can so many people have this? When I was younger, I too used to think others thought like I did. But, of course, I was very introspective, and constantly worried about what others thought of me or how they perceived me. I assumed everyone felt this way. I found this a burden or curse, but it also served to give me huge empathy. Unfortunately that also makes one depressed as you constantly carry everyone's sorrow and misery within you. This almost makes me jealous of the sociopath. I used to always wonder what it would be like to just spend one day where I didn't feel guilty about something. Now, I just accept that is my lot in life. I think one trait most murderers seem to have is narcissism or a total lack of insight or self awareness.
I absolutely feel you. I feel quite ashamed for unfortunately having to agree with Elliot for once on this one, because the older I get the more it is starting to legitimately seem that, as he himself would say: "this is what human beings evolved into".
Never let that poison your love, empathy, and general compassion for people though. It's easy to let a few bad apples or bad experiences poison your perception of everybody (as a lot of people like Elliot Roger himself, seemed to let happen to them) because these are the experiences that we often remember because they are some of the ones that have affected us deeply. When you try to keep a clear head however, and become aware of what can happen to you and try not to get locked into looking for confirmation of your current (negative) beliefs (whether through your now-perverted analysis of day to day experiences or by getting sent down a rabbithole of belief-affirmation by only clicking on things that upset you and confirm these beliefs, which develops your social media algorithms [like your RUclips algorithm] to only keep showing you things which reaffirm your negative beliefs) - you oftentimes begin to see that there is more to love about people and humanity as a whole than there is to hate.
Appreciate the insightful videos! Also, your mild sense of humor really helps to keep an otherwise heavy subject relatively light. Great Job!
I can't tell you how much I love the fact that he put "king of the incels" in his title
That slapped a huge smile on my face hahaha
Incels in caps as well! genius! >_
"King of something" is just what a narcissist would say!
Is so pathetic I swing from pity to laughter.
Why would anyone want that title
I just found your channel & have been binge-watching all of your previous videos!! You are such a breath of fresh air in the mess that is RUclips. Thank you for making this content!
If you don't know how to use the search function intelligently, don't blame it on RUclips. Your brain might as well be the mess.
@@user-ut8gh7ww9y how happy are you??
@@aliciamontero7061 if you have to ask that question it's unequivocal that you aren't very happy yourself.
@@user-ut8gh7ww9y Really? How is the logical process to come to that conclusion about me?
@@aliciamontero7061 common sense that you apparently are in the desperate lack of.
Good video doc. I also see you're familiar with the unprecedented consistency of bmw repairs.
This is the negative result of being given everything you want growing up. You begin to think you are just supposed to have everything you desire given to you. He would actually have hated being in a relationship because he would get over the initial rush of the physical desire to see all the faults of the other person. All the while never seeing his own faults.
Given everything you want? Are you sure? You mean material. He didn't have love... Which is the first element that will build your character and empathy.
@@helenacorreia7613 that’s not true, he had an entire family who loved and cherished him as a child.
@@sarahmitchell7700 That was only Soumaya. Peter was an absent father and Li Chin was a toxic and manipulative mother.
I used to teach a few autistic children. It is sad that I found most people don't see them with understanding or compassion. Most of them don't have intention to kill other human beings, but I think that sometimes "normal" people don't treat them so well either.
Thank you! This is the comment I was looking for.
That's why I think empathy is just an illusion because once you are out of the "normal", it seems like you don't deserve any empathy, sympathy, or the treatment of a regular human being. So, if empathy only occurs between people with similar experiences, it's a broken bridge both ways, but it's easier to point at autistics.
People do have empathy, but it is hard to educate them to be more mindful. And especially neurotypical people enjoy having power over others.
EXACTLY. Most idiots here overlook the autistic characteristics of Elliot and just focus on the fact that he was a virgin. It's deeper than that. Elliot couldn't relate or express himself properly because of the constant negative treatment that normies gave him during his adolescence. Normies dont' treat autistic people especially boys/men with kindness let alone have patience with them.
@@Beckonor He also misinterprets what is clearly masking as narcissism. I mean, I've been there trying to accommodate other people, meet social expectations, make sure I check all the boxes, for nothing because they still see you as subhuman and you don't really understand what they want or expect from you, even if you behave exactly like them, you're still in the wrong.
And I am a woman, we have it easier most of the time and people seem to be more patient with us, but I've heard true horror stories from autistic boys.
Of course, he didn't have to murder anyone, but no one had to abuse him either. They laugh at the candles thing, but I wonder if it's just a single anecdote of the shit he has to put up with, I mean, hiding candles just for the pleasure of annoying someone that is not even your friend is not nice.
From the videos I watched, he seemed to be a narcissist, unhappy and with a God complex.
Yes, he was quite full of himself.
@Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana or girls lol
No, If Elliot was narcissistic he would if had women all over the place
@Rafael A. Trump spoke out for men, unlike other Presidents of the past (cough cough "Obama" cough), like when he said quote "It is a very scary time for young men in America today"
If Eliot wasnt a mass murderer, he would be another Ted Bundy, a serial killer.
I agree with basically everything you said, but just to add something. I noticed Elliot from his vids and manifesto is that he went out with the intention of how he wants to be perceived, like most V Narcs, so focused on the superficial vanity and ego regulation from the attention from others (thinking and or hoping other people secretly 'mired them) basically caused him to come off as a little fake, if not anime-villian-eske.
I also think he thought that he believed his good looks (he was almost model level with his looks actually) would be able to insta-score him a girlfriend, when this didn't happen he felt so slighted and it went downhill from there. I know a few guys irl who look just as good as Rodger, and who also go out with the intention of how they want to be perceived, and none of them found partners in that way. Unless, perhaps, you look just like a celebrity or you are some "giga-chad" this probably won't work, at least not beyond the teen years, some people labeled him as a "cute-cel".
I think if he or others went out with the intention of making friends, and befriended girls he probably would have eventually gotten a one, still I think what happened to him (being humiliated, rejected, attacked, actually still quite invisible etc.) was a real shit show of unfortunate events. I guess why they label him as the King of the Incels is because this situation exactly could and logically would happen to at least one human being out there out of everyone else, although honestly this is of course still happening right now.
“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams
interesting, there is a guy with a 7 second memory on yt i dont fully believe it because he can still play piano and talk so he ovbiosuly remembers something, but the interview is crazy, he can recognize his wife but thats about it, just watch it.
"Supreme gentleman" that hilarious title has been unfortunately tainted by him
I'd be surprised if Elliot had meant that ironically.
I always laugh when I see him say that then I remember what he did
@Win Wules Oh look , another gentleman.
At least it's made clear what one of the most obvious red flags are, as another mass killer referred to himself just as such...
"A 137-page manifesto ... " Yep, sounds sane to me.
he dedicated a whole chapter to Black kid named Chance. The kid had never spoken to him. i read the chapter . I am like damned can we catch a break from semi-caucasian and caucasians even when we don't know them personally ? this scared me for real.
@@PHlophe He himself was a mixed-race child. You are proliferating the same ideology that he used to justify his hatred of "normal" children. (Non-mixed children).
Treat everyone the same, regardless of how many deranged psychopaths you see on youtube. Thinking that "caucasian" or "semi-caucasian" are out to get you is the same trap this piece of shit fell into, and look where that line of thinking took him.
What no one else writes 100+ page manifestos heh I'm such a chad
Didn’t do Marx any harm
Size 6 font....single spaced hahah
Roger: Women deny me sexual interaction
Prostitutes: Are we a joke to you?
Even prostitutes will reject him
Don't send angry homicidal incels to prostitutes. They have enough to deal with. Lol
Your humor is so subtle and dry. I love it.
Finally, thanks for adressing issues that other professionals deem controversial
"Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful." -Nietzsche
I want to agree but the word order is so weird and unreadable that i want to say its bullshit.
Victim mentality.
@@blaisemacpherson7637 The sentence is grammatically correct.
@@amggaming3528 could be but i cant read it.
@@amggaming3528 all in whom?
I think your comment about his inability to empathize with others / believing that everyone thought like him was very insightful. The idea that other people are separate from you, want differently from you, do not think how you think, etc. seems to be a huge obstacle for people with narcissism. It's like the boundaries of their mind/feelings go beyond and out into the world, and when the world (expectedly) doesn't respond perfectly, then it's defective or evil. They literally cannot conceive of a world beyond their own desires. It's like a baby in an adult body.
I’ve known and studied quite a few incels. The one commonality with most of them is that, regardless of how they look or how much money they have, many of them had personalities that were repulsive not only to women, but to people in general. Most times they fail to recognize this and just blame women. A lot of them give off an awkward creepy vibe and have no social skills.
Yeah you have a major in
In/celstudies. Would you like a Soy and blue dye for your hair?
@Stephen Kizlik 🤡
@Stephen Kizlik Yeah some "rando" in/cel. You can't even spell the word "random", Stephen.
Dubs himself "The Supreme Gentleman." Throws full Venti Iced Mochaccinos in random women's faces.
He was the supreme gentleman. It was very not nice the way women treated him.
Gregory Wright Ok incel
Ok he wasn't good looking but i don't think you can take a go on him either. No "sexy" pose will help ya btw 🤣
@@gregorywright2379 Him calling himself the supreme gentleman is so weird. That is offputting behavior. Imagion a woman saying to men that she is the supreme lady and expecting a men to go for her and if they dont shoot them. .
@@gregorywright2379 troll alert!
He couldn't get a girlfriend because he was in love with himself.
@I feel Sick Loving yourself is not the same as being “*in* love with yourself”. Loving and knowing oneself enables us to love others freely without agenda or falsehood. For someone who tosses around the imbecile insult so readily, I suggest you take a deeper look in the psychological mirror. If you can bear to, that is. 😒
@I feel Sick spotted the incel ew
@I feel Sick here comes the incel
InCeL
Exactly 😂
Always an interesting listen. Well spoken and a really good vocabulary. 👍
for all that he was still a sad sack of garbage
The sense of entitlement he had was beyond belief. Women generally do not just offer themselves to men, yet he seemed to think they would just bow down to him. Even if he were to get a girlfriend, I am sure it would never occur to him to sexually please her as simply being with him would be an honor in and of itself with his mindset. The scary thing is there are many young men that worship this punk.
Of course they do.
They do approach all the time but not him or other incels they’re cheap whores he was also pretty modest
@@theragoooverlord5021 maybe. but not to you and your fellow in*els 😂
@@selrox879 we know that. You forget the word no for status security and height
The "supreme gentleman." I remember talking about this with my roommate. And we would laugh at the absurdity of his behavior, but also out of discomfort. It's chilling.
This is a great example of what I mean about people getting swept up in the idea of "alpha" and "beta" males. All these people who promote opinions that aren't based on any research. Then here's the result. Cognitive dissonance, which real research has shown can cause violent behavior.
Elliot watched and read all this information and believed it. That an "alpha" male was one who had money, was in good physical shape, was dominant over other males. He manifested these characteristics as best he could, but he still couldn't find a mate.
So I will say again to anyone who might be reading this. Be careful about buying into the idea of "alphas" and "betas." Human interaction isn't like that. That's a holdover from a book entitled Brave New World. And if you will read it, you'll find that even in the book the ultimate result of that philosophy is violence.
Human interaction is very nuanced. That's part of the beauty and difficulty of good communication. But I believe that it's almost always possible to improve.
Wrong all around. Human beings are centered around a hierarchy
@@STEELGMBL yeah.. There ARE hierarchies in society but they aren't centred.. It's just a bunch of social webs.. A poor couple living paycheck to paycheck might be living a happier life than some rich aristocrats..
Most incels like to believe in these grand theories without ever trying to disprove them.. Just wallowing in self pity
elliot never mentions either of the terms alpha or beta in his manifesto tho?
@@based_dragon_0110 He did mention the word alpha in his videos. He was obsessed with being an alpha.
@@based_dragon_0110 he does mention the terms numerous times in his manifesto
"King of the incels" 💀
💀💀💀king of the incels is a better fit than a commander of the night’s watch
@Oliver Jones Because 80 % of the female population are only willing to " settle" for 20% of the male? My guess, - the wrongful encouragement of social media, suggesting to young women that a male that will have sex with them, would have an actual relationship with them, - among other delusions.
Helps create distrustful , bitter, angry ,men and women.
@Oliver Jones Take all of this religion malarky out of the equation, add some safe sex education and take the stigma off of other options.
@Oliver Jones Seems as though we are being forced to have sex on a much deeper level than ever before. Sex merges us with history and the whole evolutionary process for that matter. It's becoming more intense, like a near-death experience.
@Oliver Jones we ain't animals and are not put on this earth just to have sex.
Alek Menassian’s favourite fan. Just watched JCS on this dude and had to look up Elliot. Thank you for your thoughts on this phenomenon that is more widely spread than we know. Would love your input on Alek Menassian and also Toby Reynolds. Cheers mate from an arm f”chair psychologist who is fascinated with all major personality disorders!
Sometimes when I don't like my current situation at the time, all I have to do is watch one of this channel's vids and I feel so much better that I'm not part the content.
God...Elliot Rodger sounds like such a reflection of me when I was in High School. Many of the same mental health problems (I had an official OCD diagnosis, but I was also VERY sensitive to criticism...sometimes crying and angrily brooding about it for the better part of a day), along with addiction to video games and fear/anger towards girls. Indeed, I also entertained the idea of self annihilation back then...but I obviously never went through with it.
I think one thing that would have benefited Rodger would have been some spiritual counseling. This is judging from the pseudo mytho-poetic manner in which he described all his problems and his love of fantasy media. I wrote in the same way in High School. It wasn't until I received some spiritual counseling that I snapped out of my spiral of cynicism and misanthropy. The narratives we tell ourselves about our lives are crucial.
If Rodger's viral online celebrity is any indication, then my situation growing up is far from unique. We as a society are really dropping the ball when it comes to raising young people, especially young men.
@@SammyxSweetheart.02 Thanks for your question. Currently in my mid-30's, so I'm older than Rodger.
So my cynical phase lasted from puberty (or prepuberty) to about my mid-20's.
It was about my early 20's when I began to crack a little. There were signs here and there...partly because I had encounters with kind, supportive and (most importantly) understanding and empathetic women in my college life (something which it doesn't sound like Rodger ever found). I remember I was dabbling in the manosphere at that time thinking I had found some like-minded kin-but found myself repulsed by the misogyny (which at the time I defined as "illogical") and left.
However one big sign was in 2009 when the motion picture adaptation of WATCHMEN came out. I went into the theater expecting that I would identify most with the character Rorshach-the proto-Alt Right vigilante character. I came out of the theater identifying most with Dr. Manhattan-the proto-Stoic superman character; especially his speech about how we-as human beings-see miracles every day in our lives; normal events that we take for granted. We forget that the existence of life itself is a miracle.
However my final transformational point was mid-20's--I took the advice of my therapist to see a local career counselor. He gave me many pieces of spiritual wisdom that I rarely heard in the modern world; most of it distilled in the book THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz. All that really changed my outlook on life; I realized that much of the narrative I had been telling myself about my life up to that point had been negative...and yet life has so much that is positive. In this modern world, we have so much to be grateful for.
The Incels inhabit a world of Nietzschean extremes. Something about it is baked into our culture from the fist pumping "go get em!" messages we get from our parents to the advertising blaring on TV (images of sexy bodies and money) to peer pressure to "Get Rich Quick" style self help books...For SOME people this works. Others though need to be, at the very least, highly skeptical of all this stuff. I think mentally struggling people like Rodger need to get outside the narrative of the mass culture and find a positive alternative or else they risk self destruction.
Anyways...need to disconnect. Hope that helps.
@@SammyxSweetheart.02 Oh...and one more thing came to mind. Another emotional asset I had was my father. Unlike Elliot's friends (who seem to just have abandoned him when he got too creepy) my father stayed with me and listened to me...even when I was at my worst moments pondering violence and going on with my terrible insane pseudo-mythopoetic misogynistic philosophies sometimes for hours on end. Throughout it all, my father STAYED and he LISTENED. He didn't agree with me (thank God) but he never abandoned me. I think us people with mental health issues need a shoulder like that (especially in our formative years) when we're at our worst.
One thing I've been trying to confront the Incels about is their use of anger. Any psychologist or spiritual counselor will tell you that anger reveals a deep sense of insecurity and is ultimately immature. As the dictum goes: "The opposite of Love is not Hate, but Indifference."
Incels have legitimate grievances insofar as they sense that contemporary society is becoming more individualistic, isolated, lonely; and these are catalysts for addictions, depression and suicide. However their responses are all wrong If they really wanted to make a stand against an unjust system, they'd ride closer to the attitude of indifference. Righteous indignation.
Threatening violence isn't going to change anybody's mind. Ultimately all that will do is fuel a backlash; the Chads and Stacies will double down; the bullying and discrimination against ugly, neurodivergent people will just increase. In these situations, it's always the innocents caught in the middle who suffer the most.
@@rottenaudiobooks2310 when it comes to spiritual healing, you should consider the philosophy of Buddhism. This is a true “religion of peace,” because they emphasize loving-kindness and compassion. You should be able to find true inner peace and finally live life to the fullest without any mental illness holding you back
@@SammyxSweetheart.02 Great suggestion! Are you a Buddhist?
What you're prescribing is exactly what I was trying to get at in my last response: "the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference." The Buddhists call this the "middle way" between the passions.
If you flip flop between hate and passionate love (I'm thinking romance addiction ala Elliot Rodger), you will be stuck in samsara. You need to break out of that framework in order to thrive healthily (at a spiritual level) again. Meditation and the other practices Buddhism promotes are extremely helpful.
Elliot: If I had the power, I would annihilate everyone on the planet.
Thanos: Bro...chill
LOLOL
You gotta annihilate HALF !!
@@astoldbynickgerr LMAO
@@astoldbynickgerr a random half, to be precise.
A random half, excluding myself from the population sample, to be even more precise.
@@hangukhiphop Thanos is not part of a population he halves.
As someone who has been isolated most of my life and has never had a girlfriend in his late 20s, I think a huge reason why so many people turn out this way is internet/media addiction. I'm not saying that video games and the internet can't be a cathartic means of escapism in moderation, but they can suck up so much time and energy that could've been placed into fitting in and reaching developmental milestones. Pair this with already impaired social, learning, and mental health issues and you have a recipe for disaster.
Hurting animals and setting fires (sometimes) are more indicative of serial killers, correct Dr? Elliot was not a serial killer, so it makes sense. I believe he would be labeled as a un-organized Spree Killer
Bravo!
Thanks for catching this and pointing it out.
Dr. Grande seems knowledgeable and yet he got this wrong. It goes to show something.
I'd say hear from experts and yet analyze for yourself.
Elliot Rodger read books about Serial Killers and was interested in that Type of Criminals.
"When all they really do is help you find your tools in a parts store or a mechanic" 🤣
Sounds like he owned a BMW once.
Lol
@@pugilist102 When he started making big boy doctor money he goes:
"Im finally gonna buy myself a nice car. a NEW car!
Im tired of worrying when my old camry will stop running."
And on that fateful day, he stopped by a BMW dealership instead of Honda. RIP (kidding)
Some work on a BMW takes special tools that not all mechanics have. I thought Dr Grande must have owned one to make that joke.
BMW helps a lot don't fool yourself.
Women like competent man
I like you’re point about how he just didn’t understand relationships, especially romantic ones. A nice car, clothes, and sunglasses aren’t going to to get you a relationship if you can’t relate to others. His manifesto had some racist beliefs as well about people of color being inferior. He generally adopted a superior attitude. How could he think he was a “supreme gentleman” when he was planning on murdering women/people in general. His lack of insight was astounding.
He came off as incredibly autistic and not able to understand social relations or empathise. This is what held him back.
@Jack Dorsen
No no
I don't think all women are that dumb
Although some might be who knows
The guy was afraid of women. As a man you must embrace rejection. It's just part of dating. He was afraid.
Partly i think. Partly, due to his spoiled upbringing, he believed he should have been given a girl the same way he was given everything by his parents throughout his childhood and adolescense. He literally thought he was entitled to a girl and deserved one and that a girl was supposed to notice this and come over to him and say: "Hi Elliot, I am here to suck your cock to enact justice".
So yes, he essentially thought that a girl was supposed to come up to him because he deserved it.
He couldn't self reflect and see: "hmm maybe I am the problem".
Dude had serious mental issues and his mind was completely one track and stuck on how he deserved girls. He was completely delusional. Maybe psychedelics and therapy would have broken through the thick fog, or real suffering (in contrast to his highly sheltered, spoilef upbringing).
Man am I super glad I had the parents I had, I had non verbal autism growing up and requiring a speech patholigist till seventh grade. I just hissed at people when they tried to take my Harry Potter books at school or my three thousand piece puzzles, like the ones from the board game store of the cobblestone bridges. I don't even remember if anyone said anything rude about it, or who even tried to take them lol but I was all good and had developed a way of socializing healthily thanks to my psychiatrist and therapist by the time I hit high school. It is just a shame that when someone snaps, there is no justice, no one in the slightest wrong is ever the ones who fall victim. RIP
It's beyond me how a person could take themselves THAT seriously. I mean, if only he knew how much easier it is with girls when you are prepared to make a fool of yourself
He didn't want a relationship for the sake of it, he only wanted it for perceived prestige. Which brings us to the start: low self esteem.
@@vivvpprof He also seemed to expect girls to simply fall into his lap. If you read his emails you can see he clearly didn't put that much effort into attracting women.
@@worsethanjoerogan8061 Which is to be expected. Building a genuine relationship based on love and trust was the last thing he wanted.
@@vivvpprof sure I mean that's the standard issue with the ego, once you acknowledge your own intelligence it's a terrible trap to not read further and further to see just how precisely that equates you to a grain of sand on the beach of history, hell even your suburb, if this perspective is not realized and taken as truth i think thats where we get these cases of an almost child like expectation of a red carpet being rolled out for them upon ticking a list of really inept criteria, like owning a BMW
apologies too much vodka for a grammar check
Whenever my roommate hides my candles under his mattress, I don't exactly shoot and kill him. I try to explain to him the sentimental and monetary value of high quality wax and perfumes, and don't get me started on the proper materials and technique to fashion a high quality wick. I'm just saying for every fracture of my candles, I will see in your bones.
DON'T EVER TRUST A MAN THATS SO OVER PROTECTIVE OF CANDLES
Your diction is elegant. You must be the Supreme Gentleman.
🤣
Why would anyone take something that doesn't belong to them without permission to begin with? I don't defend murder but I think he was sick and tired of people abusing him. It's not the candles, it's possibly years of shit.
@@marialeon6765 yes totally everyone took the girls that belonged to him thats why he went on a rampage
Although your video is excellent ,autism does not pre-dispose you to becoming a murderer and I think it is a real pity that you didn't explain that more clearly . I have a son on autism spectrum aged 23 and also without a girlfriend and with the same interests as Elliot (warhammer etc) who is also anxious and struggles with social connections and interactions, but a kinder person you could not meet and he was and remains utterly horrified by the Elliot Rodger murder case.People on the Autism Spectrum can also have mental health issues just like anyone else and it is a great pity that Elliots growing distress and frustration at feeling isolated was not addressed by successful therapy rather than medications (which can have drastic impacts on personality and functioning and may have contributed to his dissconect and even increased his depression). It is clear that Elliots narcissism and sense of entitlement (also nothing to do with autism) in combination with his autism and other serious mental health issues including depression created a highly dangerous personality. I am glad you referred to Elliots other issues and did not focus solely on his Austism Spectrum condition as so many others have done.
He didn't say that at all and it's obvious that your own emotional attachment is projecting onto the speaker.
@@vivec6675 I didn't say "he" said autism predisposes you to becoming a murderer (see ,your own emotions are getting in the way now)...What I said was "autism does not pre-dispose you to becoming a murderer and I think it is a real pity that you didn't explain that more clearly" because I honestly think it does need explaining more clearly because there is deep discrimination and prejudice towards people with autism and journalists often make a huge issue of it particularly in cases like this
I agree that autism doesn’t cause you be violent but attracting a women is next to impossible when you (in my case) give off an insecure vibe because of these characteristics: struggle with non verbal communication, struggle with eye contact, stutter a lot when nervous and blanking out what to talk about. 9/10 women won’t be romantically/sexually attracted to you even if you feel confident. I’m 35 and have alot of platonic friends both male and female but I’ve never been kissed yet. I’m not generalizing all women but a vast majority love confident men but autism even high functioning ruins that.
@@Jotinko I think you might be surprised how many people with autism /neurodiversity date and are married BUT you know , I think you are right about the "confidence" part because confidence does seem to play a role whether you are on the autism spectrum or not ...BUT there are people with autism who are confident ! For example me ; lots of dates and married ! However I have 2 sons with autism ,both high function (but I personally prefer the term low-support needs). One is really handsome (age 24) but has no confidence and has never been kissed or dated and the other son (age 23 )is not blessed with his brother good looks ,but he has more confidence that anyone should have and he dates a lot and is moving in with his latest girlfriend .... Neurotypical People with a lack of confidence also struggle with romantic involvement.....what women don't like (as a rule) is bad vibes ,arrogance , rudeness ,rage , hostility and a sense of entitlement and Eliot had all of those things....you on the other hand sound nice :) . If I were you I'd work hard on the "not blanking out" because everyone likes to feel heard BUT It may be that you just haven't met the right person (I genuinely hope you do and wish you all the best...I don't know you but I sincerely care from the depths of my heart. )
@@cassiekay8633 Thank you for the love and advice.
This makes me wonder if his mental illness was diagnosed and treated earlier it could have been prevented. Same goes for all situations like this. However, I would assume the problem with illnesses like Narcissistic Personality disorder, is it is hard to get someone to be self aware of their own behaviour when
illnesses such as his leed you to be unable to do so. For instance, I have PTSD one of the things that got me diagnosed is the fact that I am incredibly in tune to others emotions and how my behaviour may be affecting others, so very self-aware. I feel like if you can't feel empathy then this makes it harder to treat illnesses like his.
Little did anyone know, Dr. Grande is a secret co-founder of Starbucks Coffee and is related to the legendary Ariana Grande 😂
Legend has it he invented the Grande Americano
@@jamesgreenldn Omg 😱
Why you lie bish?
@@ZelenoJabko I no lie! 😡
If he is a co-founder why does he work?
Such an interesting case to me since day one. Not even an unattractive dude; his insanity and next level selfishness is what made him a virgin. He never even came close to understanding that it was his personality that was pushing the women he so desperately wanted away. It was all fixable. Just so far gone. His dad sucks too, pure Hollywood trash.
Yeah, he looked like he could have been in a K-Pop boy band. He was just a jackass.
How do you think he could've fix his problem
@@waterpenny6907 by therapy idk
He didn't want a woman, he wanted an object to match at his car and glasses.
uh no, it was his autism above all else. why is that just glossed over by so many? there is plenty of data demonstrating the negative impact autism has on one's sexual and romantic prospects, although i would've thought it were obvious.
I would never hurt others. I understand feeling rejected by everyone and everything. I had an excellent life from 13 to 53. When my spouse was alive and other family members that have passed away or decided to not be in touch. It’s been torture. In the old days people surrounded the bereaved person. Not anymore.
Elliott Rodgers was such a waste of a life. All the innocents that he killed as well. His father made he’s life chaotic and his mother gave him more attention. For a child with mental health issues his dad was more interested in anything than his son it seems.
I start watching videos about his story from time to time, It's really interesting to me because like him I've never had a girlfriend, with the difference that I'm 27 and I don't feel angry at women for not wanting to be with me, in my case I believe it's lack of opportunities, specially since COVID-19 quarantines hit, I still wonder if a good therapy and the right meds could've helped Elliot turn his life around.
Not likely. In his childhood definitely.
😂 over for you
Your point about Rodger’s mathematical reasoning in relationships was super-insightful. 🙂
"It's frightening that his thought pattern would connect with so many people". I agree with you Dr. Grande.
It makes sense, 80% of men are disenfranchised while women have unlimited options
@@MrBooYa-yd5er All women?
@@d8bn women whom are under 30 and at least marginally attractive yes. Particularly compared to men. Women don't care about equality. It's just a tactic for power.
@@MrBooYa-yd5er Found the incel.
@@maschaorsomething It's 2021 duude no shaming! lol Peace.
A bit late obviously, but I am so curious about this I hope I get some interaction from from commenting... I've read a couple of things about Elliot Rodger in the past, but nothing as extensive as Dr. Grande's post here. It was said Rodge had had psychological counseling in his earlier life and it makes me wonder what specifically other psychologists may have missed in their diagnosis of Rodger. Or, say it this way - now knowing what Rodger did, how could he be helped to perhaps NOT DO what he did. So, that's basically my two cents worth. Dr. Grande, can you give any further perspective to this?
social media has made women extremely narcissistic .. a random chick from kansas working at starbucks can get 50,000 followers just for existing. How is the average dude competing in todays dating world when every girl thinks she's special cause random strangers on the internet hype her up 24/7
Elliot bought into the idea that having a woman would solve problems for him. What he didn't know, is that having a woman doesn't solve problems (except sexual pleasure), they give you more problems. They are expensive, time consuming, demanding, etc. If a man has a woman, he has to do a lot of compromise, and there are no guarantees that she won't walk out the door (look at the divorce rate.) Elliot simply did not see the benefits of not having a woman (no one to henpeck you, or pick your pocket.) In reality, Elliot probably was probably superior to some of the guys that women chose. He was probably smarter, and in better shape than some of the goons that women chose. However, this fact should have told him about the limitations of the women who chose that kind of guy. Those women, most likely would not have been his intellectual match. If he had succeeded in having a relationship with that kind of woman, I don't think that he would have even liked it, quite possibly. He'd probably have found them to be boring. It's too bad that he didn't let himself live long enough to experience relationships, and what they involve. There is a lot of work and money that goes into them. It literally is the art of compromise. What I'm saying is not to justify his actions. What he did was incredibly selfish. He had no regard for the victims or their families. That was truly a tragic loss for those people.
He didn't think it through at all you are right.
He was not superior to other men though. He never worked a job, had no real skills (unless you count world of warcraft), had no real friends, was extremely selfish and self centred, was an emotionally volatile mess, was completely delusional, had a terrible entitled mindset. He was a decent writer and maybe had average intelligence, that's the only positive thing I can really say. He wasn't out of shape but he wasn't exactly a fitness fanatic.
Everything he did have (expensive college education, BWM, designer clothes, unconditonal love from his overly permissive parenrs, decent looks) was handed to him by his family and he treated them like shit, not helping out, and instead sending them angry, vindictive,
He wasn't evil or sociopathic, he was so delusional that he believed that what he was doing was right and justified because he could not see things outside of his own perspective and needs)
He needed his parents to cut him off, he needed to experience some degree of real struggle, and maybe psychedelics to shake his mind so intensely that it might have freed him from his one track mind that had been stuck for years.
He wanted to become a writer to become rich. He bought many lottery tickets, hoping to become rich without putting in any effort. He really believed he deserved it. That, like everything else was a means to and end which was his badly, superficially thought out goal of getting laid.
Dr. Grande: takes case very seriously
Dr. Grande's title: *KING OF THE INCELS*
He’s making fun of him
And how could he not, he was such a pathetic and disturbed person
Well....he is
He is the king though he started the incel movement
Long live the king! ...Oh wait.
The DSM VI is going to need to include a diagnosis for the sinking feeling one has when the recipient of one of Dr. Grande's low-key, surgical strike insults.
He's fur sure a master of throwing shade
I am from California and was in my first year college when this happened. I later transferred to UcSB where this occurred. I’d like to make a correction that it was actually the Tri Delta sorority house where he opened fire at and murdered a couple of women at. Not Alpha Phi. My sister’s friend was close family friends with the Rodgers and were shocked and saddened with this happened. They didn’t see it coming. I remember watching his cringey videos after the fact thinking that he was insane and super misogynistic, like no wonder a female wouldn’t give him the time of day. I was hoping this was rare but as I’ve gotten older I don’t think so. Also, GOT is VERY misogynistic, so i get why he loved it
As a man, I would never have a friend like him either. He is frightening. I can see many reds flags. Even don't knowing what he have done, just seeing is videos is enough for me.
@@aymenbouazizi1837 Dude go get therapy.. or just take a dirt nap...
@@karmaqueen3333 Ok whiteknight
@@aymenbouazizi1837 I'm not the one mad because I can't get laid and trolling a video about incels... We used to lock kids like you in the basement for a reason.
Cheap sluts be cheap sluts. He was also not misogynistic
They never seem to forsee establishing a relationship or getting to know someone. It is usually referred to as "getting girls" as though it is part of a video game. There are complicated issues that most seem unaware of. In calling women females he is identifying their biological sex but not their humanity. Seldom are men called males.