How the hell is any school supposed to handle a person like Lanza? Sending children with such severe social problems to a regular school is a recipe for disaster.
My wife adopted a pair of siblings with her previous mate. Long story long, the oldest sib is a psychopath. The ex ran away because of his behaviors. I moved in a year later. Had no idea what I was in for. Our school kept suspending him for violence. We couldn’t keep him at home, no one was safe anywhere around him. Law mandates he gets a FAPE. Parents here are visited by CPS and cops showing up over truancy. We couldn’t homeschool, school couldn’t handle him. It was a nightmare. At 9 years old I thought he was going to rape some smaller kid at his school. Finally he qualified for residential care. Everyone blamed us and treated us like criminals for causing his behaviors and for sending him away. It’s been unreal. People, especially school personnel, ignore these kids and deny the problems or blame the caregivers and turn a blind eye. There’s no help, it’s horrible. My stepson is superficially very charming, smiles warmly at all strangers. It’s all phony. He’s assessing what he can get out of them, and if he can dominate them. He overplayed his hand at the school eventually. He got very ugly and abusive with an aide that was a very submissive type person who had no boundaries. I was glad he finally showed what we live with even if they blame us for it. I was even more glad they finally figured out they needed to care about the other kids safety around him. They would not listen to me even though I had been documenting everything from within a month of moving in.
She was extremely passive and reluctant to enforce any limits with him. As school year progressed and he got more aggressive she tried to stop him from cutting a girls hair in class. He called her an effing b and continued to try to cut other kids hair. After that incident he started pooping his pants in class to create chaos. We found out the aid was doing ALL of his work for him and any push to get him to do any work was met with this kind of retaliation from him. He’d also smear it all over the bathrooms. Finally when he was caught with a metal piece of a folding chair he’d taken apart to make a weapon, he got his ticket to residential. At home he was trying to start fires and being sexually aggressive to his sister who was also very submissive to him.
No way is this reprobate worth going to jail for again. I’ve already been to jail over false abuse allegations once and it’s not happening again. In order to drive us out of district the school admins orchestrated a stunt to get me arrested. Lied to CPS and local Sherrifs. Too bad for them I kept perfect records of everything on this kid beginning from first month I moved in. I made everyone involved including my stepson regret that bull💩. I spent a year cleaning it up. I got a determination of factual innocence and sued the school. They settled for 145K. He got 2 1/2 years of therapeutic boarding school. He’s been home a year and what works for us is intense strict structure. He falls out of line he gets to be grounded until he fills out my accountability form with zero blame shifting. He hates those forms. Would probably rather be tazed. 🤣🤣🤣 When he’s gotten it done correctly to my satisfaction, he signs it taking ownership of the incident and the corrective action needed and then I file it in a binder in chronological order in my locked cabinet inside my locked bedroom. I’ve told him if he gets arrested for anything that hurts anyone, I will be taking all my binders to the prosecutor to help them get the max sentence possible because I’ve made sure he knows better now. He’s hasn’t tried anything violent since he’s been home. Zoom schooling is working out great for him. No opportunities to be invasive and irritating to peers. 👍 We’re pretty confident we’re going to get him graduated from high-school without a criminal record. Currently he’s requested to wean off the vyvance and then the Risperdal in order to join the Marines. 2 years 328 more days to go. I would advise people to never adopt from our system. Foster only. Getting stuck with a psychopath and blamed for all the kids they hurt is horrible. There are almost no mental health services that are useful. We’ve had to figure it out on our own, piecing together a system for our home that works and nail down the safety with locks and WiFi cameras. No unsuspecting parents should be tricked into adopting a kid like this and be forced to house a violent mental patient who has no ability to self regulate who cannot feel empathy who spreads ptsd to everyone else in the home until they’re 18.
@@sirbader1 I'm looking at a Google list of Dr. Grande's vids in the Google right sidebar. He hardly changes at all. That same affect-free blank stare. Only the shirt changes significantly, and it's virtually the same shirt-style. Maybe he bleaches the same shirt out now and then and painstakingly dyes it in different colors and patterns. I wonder if the man went into psychiatry to wrest its control over himself, from the inside.
@@sirbader1 oh please ,do you have you psychology degree? You just stated your opinion without any examples or contradicts of the mother behavior then just ad hominem the channel
you mentioned Adam Lanza had a mom who would indulge him by doing things like doing 3-4 loads of laundry per day. That's a big sign that his mother was co-dependent. Having an anxiety disorder and a parent who is co-dependent is literally worst thing that happen to a kid psychologically. Just speaking out of personal experience.
@@andymullarx6365 Mothers are supposed to do what’s best for their children. Not indulge their delusions and unreasonable requests, even if they have mental disorders She appeased Adam and allowed Adam to run her life like a dictator, and it didn’t fix anything in the end. It cost her her own life, her son’s life, and the lives of a bunch of innocent children as well
As a special education teacher myself, I blame the Department of Education for eliminating most of the Special Day programs for special-needs children, i.e , the "full-inclusion" garbage foisted on every school in the US. Many of the students "pushed in" to the general ed. programs are not receiving services they desperately need.
Very important point. Nowadays only the wealthiest, those who can afford to live in a major city, can afford to send their kids to schools specifically designed for special needs kids.
Full inclusion works for students with physical disabilities and obvious mental disabilities, so think Down’s syndrome and physical disablement , also people with motor neurone disease , people with disabilities on the autistic spectrum should not be in full inclusion , it’s very difficult for neurodivergent people to adapt to an inclusive environment, hear me out people , I’m autistic and I have ADHD. People like myself can misunderstand social interactions and we have trouble understanding the social interaction of joking around and making fun of people as a friendly thing. We think different, we are not dangerous but we do need to be treated differently, I am not in any way giving this nasty murderer a pass , what he did was disgusting and was a terrible tragedy for all the families involved and he deserves to rot in hell ,my point is that he should have never have been to be in an inclusive school at such an early age, it was only going to lead to him becoming what he became, his hyper focus made him a killer, he could have been pushed into something else , nobody was watching his focus
Feds are to blame for this uninformed legislation...LRE. Secondly, why wd a mother have guns in the house with an unpredictable & troubled child? What was up with mom? Mom had 1/4 of a million in resources to meet his mental health needs & instead bought an arsenal. How did he learn how to operate these weapons? Let's get real...We know that these brain & emotional behavioral disorders are linked to heroin meth crack & coc use by one or more parent....
I too am a special education student and to see that the Schools or department of education isn’t helping makes me very sad it’s like they don’t care they only want money.
I totally agree. I feel that school districts should do more to help kids with disabilities and provide with support to their families because the money they receive come from government wich is paid with our taxes. But the reality is that they don't care about the kids struggling and let them sink in their own. Very sad but true.
Lots of kids don’t like having their picture taken and will scowl or stare blankly when forced. His face looks to me more like someone who was surprised by the camera, uncomfortable, or too embarrassed to put on a performative smile. Also, this notion that “empathy” and “emotion” are what keeps people from killing each other has really got to go. If you’ve been centering your morality around how you *feel* about affected parties, I can promise that you are a monster. Empathy is always selective. If you actually felt empathy for every person to whom you owed consideration, you would be unable to function. Too many highly social people try to just use their empathy like a crutch, and they can be stunningly disgusting and selfish if they can’t get their emotional fix. At the end of the day, it was always only about how they felt.
@Michael Cueva Might be, though it comes off as slightly vague. My sense for Lanza and Rodgers (I don’t have a bead on Panzram or Bundy) is that they were largely suicidal. However, suicide can feel like validating the negative judgments of others (“good thing that waste of air took himself off our hands”). With the level of disrespect some people get or feel like they get, he might’ve found it desirable to reframe it as aggression just to ensure he wasn’t doing anyone a “favor”. (The “disrespect” is not necessarily “bullying,” but a hostility and contempt that is more ubiquitous and impossible to appease or even get acknowledgment concerning.)
@Michael Cueva “Hatred of humanity” reads like a literary flourish that doesn’t mean much of anything. Excuse me if I think too concretely for this stuff, but that sounds like a non-explanation. Rodger’s manifesto had a more notable theme of him obsessing over anything and everything that he perceived as affecting social status. Race, wealth, where he lived, the car he drove, and, of course, sexual partners. It is normal for some young people with social problems to think acquiring status symbols might cure their problems. When his tools were exhausted, however, just killing himself would validate those people he felt looked down on him. By manufacturing a grievance, however, he could feel momentarily significant. Can’t swear it was that way with him, but “hatred of humanity” barely feels like it means anything at all.
@Michael Cueva He actually did work for those things. Some he already had, given his father’s career. Socially, however, he’d lose by default. Ostensibly, he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which is sort of an autism spectrum condition without the repetitive behaviors and inflexibility. If real, this sort of thing can be crippling if you think about status at all and don’t have any special skill you can compensate with. There was probably no effective concrete “work” he could plan, let alone do. He could only blindly guess. Your last comment makes more sense to me than the one that came before. “Hatred of humanity” just gets used a whole lot and has a plethora of potential meanings. It sounds only like a literary device, and flourishes like this sound like mysticism to me. Presenting the associated concrete needs and wants makes it a lot easier, and what you say there is not far from my own guess.
@Pat Shaw and that's why the America is great. Tragedies happen, but eliminating guns is far worse. It looks like Chicago is doing just well and Australia's crime rates too 🙄😉
@@milicadjordjevic4498 there hasn't been a mass shooting in Australia or the U.K in 25 years after banning guns. We also have the advantage of not having tons of innocent or minor criminals shot to death by cops either. But you will never get rid of your guns so you can look forward to Hundreds of more Adam Lanzas in the coming decades because you refuse to address your problem.
@Mercury murders in 2018 UK/US London 132 Chicago 539 New York 289 Detroit 304 L.A 259 Baltimore 318 ST Louis 188 I looked up Gary Indiana but it was surprisingly low at 46 I think but I guess that's due to only 3 people left alive there 🤣🤣
The mom absolutely played a huge role in this. She bought him the guns and she hardly even talk to him like everybody in his entire life. They didn't even talk to each other unless it was through emails or little notes. If she would have went in his room or at least involved herself in his life she probably would have found all these signs that her son's about to do something pretty crazy.
@@redjuice02 shit no way that kid could even walk into a Bass Pro let alone actually buy a gun if he’s never been around them before. He’d get to nervous to talk to the sales person.
So you knew Adam and his mother? Or are you just making assumptions based on your limited knowledge? Nancy was a good mother and tried her best but unfortunately some people can’t be saved.
@@phunkyphresh3799 Adam wasn’t as socially awkward as he appeared. And even if he was the most socially awkward person on Earth, he still had the right to purchase a firearm regardless of his appearance and demeanour... Do you think gun dealers should refuse to sell a firearm just because the customer is nerdy and socially awkward? He didn’t even have a criminal record so you’re essentially saying any socially awkward people shouldn’t have any rights.
Too many parents want to be their child's friend instead their parent. They want their children to like them. I'm sure even if Adam didn't have any mental problems, he still would have been given too much freedom at a young age. He didn't pay rent yet no one was allowed in his room? He had mental problems yet allowed to have access to guns? Maybe mom and dad had mental problems too they were just irresponsible.
The parents are not ignoring the warning signs. They don't see any warning signs.These people think this kind behavior is normal. it's the way they grew up.
Or just at least some “vision” at all 😂😂. It blows my mind that she allowed her son to live in her house and eat her food, without actually seeing him.
@@channelthree9424 even if you don't pay rent, should have privacy. This isn't uncommon and just because someone is private, doesn't mean they are bad.
Adam's father deserves just as much scorn as his mother, whom the media focuses on. Adam's father was JUST as capable of helping his son, and of keeping guns away from his son. And he didn't.
i agree completely. societal pressures of a mother role are are so high standard while fathers are praised for the bare minimum. women are required to meet every criteria as men aren’t.
@@jaffacalling53 Money isn't the only factor in child raising. Before their divorce Adam's father never tried to help Adam with his disorder or tried to treat it. All the diagnosis and the only treatments Adam received in middle school are initiated by his mother. Adam very stubbornly believed that his disorder was something forced upon him by the society, so Nancy wasn't able to make him go to any doctors after 8th grade. It's extremely hard to raise a kid with both ASD and OCD. There was once Adam had a fever and couldn't come out of his room, Nancy had to stay outside his room (because he wouldn't let her in) for the whole night and respond whenever Adam called her or else he'd panick. Adam's father was completely absent in all these difficulties.
As a father I can't imagine abandoning a son to this internal prison. How long did this situation go on? When did the beautiful little boy turn inward toward darkness and fear and why didn't the father try to help him? There are many questions that Dr. Grande addresses here but he accepts too much of the official narrative of what happened. I would like to hear Dr. Grande's opinion about Adam's psychiatrist who later fled the United States to avoid prosecution for malpractice (not for Adam's case but for other irregularities). There is still something fishy about what happened at Sandy Hook. Maybe one day we'll hear the whole truth.
Finally, a parent that was held accountable! You can't just leave your child go untethered and then decide it's a good idea for them to have weapons of any kind. I think more parents need to be held accountable for instances like this.
The young man never got the help he needed. To allow him any kind of access to firearms is beyond irresponsible. He needed meds and therapy from early on.
Yeah he also needed to not shoot up a school. Be careful of absolving monsters like Adam Lanza of guilt just because they had issues. As Dr Grande points out, there is no evidence of psychosis in this case. Adam Lanza knew precisely what he was doing. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He didn't care.
What meds? It’s true Lanza had issues, but nothing that could be easily medicated. There’s no reason to think he had any form of psychosis or mood disorder that meds could address. Edit: I did another watch and noticed what I'd either forgotten or missed. He did have depression and that is associated with increased homicide risk. So, there's something. Still hope you don't mean giving Celexa to a 6 yo when you say "from early on", though.
@@PutonyourSundayBests What on earth does it mean to “absolve” a dead person. None of us can hurt him or punish him. Perhaps you’re looking for justification to sadistically defame other (living) people with similarly flat affects. If they don’t smile for the camera, that’s your cue to give them whatever sh!t is entertaining to you. Then you get to congratulate yourself for “preventing” a shooting when you were, in fact, merely amusing yourself at another’s expense.
@@somexp12 If you don't understand what the word means then google it. Absolve is to free someone of blame or responsibility. Dead people are responsible for the things they did whilst alive. The rest of your comment reads like deranged ranting. I made no reference to his affect or 'smiling to the camera'.
I read that he weighed 114 pounds at death and was 6 feet tall. That’s anorexia. His mom had to have seen that he was wasting away. He should have been hospitalized and certainly not given access to firearms. She should have at the least have been worried about him hurting himself. His father didn’t really bother with him either. Horrible crime that could have been prevented. I think his mom was so far in over her head that she just drank to avoid his problems.
Eating disorders can be comorbid with autism, some autistic people aren't able to perceive internal sensations like pain and hunger, and sometimes sensory issues limit what kinds of food a an autistic person is able to eat. Whatever the reason for the weight loss, you're right that his mother should have been concerned that he was becoming so underweight and got him professional help. If she was aware of the spreadsheet of mass murderers, that would be a point to consider inpatient care. Most of the time it's good to let people have their special interests, but a special interest in violence like that should be very concerning. The motivation to engage in special interests can be very strong, so it would probably have taken inpatient care to keep him away from material related to a special interest in violence. The writing about violence when he was at school should have been a cause for concern. There are so many points where he showed problems not typical to autistic people where people should have been concerned about him hurting himself or others. It's really tragic that he was left to become so obsessed with violence and had access to weapons.
Six feet tall and 114 pounds...that totally sounds like the physical description of one bad ass commando who could easily carry an entire load of guns and ammunition into a school and then skillfully shoot 26 people dead in less than even ten minutes. Yep.
The power of denial blinds mother's to their children. It is hard to accept that there is something abnormal with the child, it stems from ego and guilt.
The fact she collected guns makes this debateable. She sounds like she bent over backwards to accomodate his delusions and shouldnt have been filling a house with firearms when she had kids anyway. She has a lot to answer for but I would put a big question mark over her education and emotional stability.
nom nom nom was a very strange situation even the aftermath stilll waaaaaay to many unanswered questions things were done diffrently that day ill leave it at that
You forgot to say why he targeted the little kids. He thought he was saving and freeing them from a lifetime of suffering, rejection and disappointment, just like his life. He had a channel where he discussed a lot of this. Also some of his notes discussed this, in one he wrote "I wake up early just to be disappointed"
@@takethelanzapill2643 He probably did, based on his RUclips channel where he talked about exactly his antinatalist views and how society treats children (specifically, the "You want to rape them, but I want to save them" part). Also, he expressed something quite similar based on the call to the radio, how society corrupts children. Also, in the interview with his DDR friend, he then again expressed something along those lines.
@@takethelanzapill2643 I don't care, just read and hear for yourself to the evidence and think whatever you want 🤷🏻♀️ those are all things that he said and was seemingly obsessed with, not me.
As a retired cop, I find your analysis very helpful. My retired job is (as you guessed) an armed guard. I recently took a job in a school district. My main concern is to protect the students and staff. The best way is prevention. It is comforting to know I can learn from your analysis and hopefully identify the signs before a tragic act.
Hey Man, if prevention doesn't work and you are facing a crowd with a possible dangerous suspect embedded, I have read that the Secret Service look for what they call "The Assasin Face". Just before they strike their face will often become stark white* and they are expressionless etc. Easy to say, not so easy in real life! God bless Mate. *(Obviously not darker shades of people, but we all do it.)
Why don't you get on with a big company security department. My company a power utility hires mostly retired police to manage stuff the guards are contracted these guys just sit in offices investigate incidents, and write policies, order guards much better job pay probably over 100k a year too. Armed guard is a lousy job your the first guy bad guy will shoot you won't have backup on a radio like you did before. Friend of mine he was security guard he refused to go armed said a few dollars an hour bump in pay to be a target for criminals wasn't worth it. They put armed security guards at the worst places in town like Circle K open 24 hours a day in worst part of town.
School security guards should be deployed with few guards wearing and rotation between schools.most should wear uniform,but a few uniform security guards should drive unmarked vehicles to possibly confuse any violent persons,because if any stealthy,violent person(s),from within or without the school decided to target school,then any uniform security guards will be evaded,killed,or disabled by armed persons.plain clothes security guards should be discreetly hidden in rescricted areas closed to staff and students(any staff allowed in rescricted guard area should be checked for any weapons or items not allowed-before entry,then area should checked for any items not allowed after staff leaves guard area.these procedures of security are effective for all guard levels and principal levels-which means monthly or bi-monthly--off site school guard supervisor should be deployed for discreet observations of school guard activities in discreet,plain clothes operations,then supervisor reports should be confidential shared with school superintendent,district head of security guards-first,then shared with principl--secondly.any problems,discipline should executed with discreet,confidential,official documented attempted corrections and required therapy(if found therapy required for troubled security guard?) .if security guard is fired from work(or decertified from career in state or nationwide)then former guard required a no trespassing documented warning from all schools in district,with all schools' security staff and principals' staff-warned about former security guard.note:warning applies for former school security guards with children in district schools.note:district may probably warn private schools and warn surrounding states school districts and state department of educations about former security guard.but,foolish school systems and universities-criminal negligence never deployed proper security measures for school properties.
I am lucky. My son has Aspbergers, he is. 40 years old, friendly, personable, sweet and well liked. He has rigid thought patterns and is stubborn as hell. He loves airsoft, had close friendships, and is firmly engaged in reality.
@@nplus1syndrome928 There is, but nothing that will land him in the slammer doing life. Inability to understand why people like deoderant and cooking eggs on the highest setting is a bad idea is shit i can live with.
@@1985JM interesting question because now that you mention it I’ve only ever met boys with that diagnosis. Technically the answer would now be no, because Asperger’s is no longer an existing diagnosis, it’s just part of autism spectrum disorder, which any sex can have.
I live about 15 minutes from sandy hook and spoke to the officer that was first on the scene of the shooting about 9 months after it happened he was on leave saying he had nightmares and was having trouble functioning on a daily basis due to the shock of what he saw at the school, I remember when the news came on the tv it was a Friday I was just getting ready to eat lunch, my heart goes out to all effected by this tragedy.
@@HAL-dm1eh Its not fake. I personally know a family who lost their daughter in this massacre. Her name was Emily Parker. My sister’s daughter is even named after her. Ana-Marquez Greene’s father was the music instructor at my university. He is no crisis actor. I’ve seen his grief. I know for fact Sandy Hook happened because I’ve seen the impact the shooting had on real life people and their community.
My sister had two brain tumors removed and then started to have hallucinations. There is no way I would allow a gun in the house with or without her taking medication. Too bad Adam’s mom couldn’t be evaluated. My mother was in denial about my sister, too, but we had no guns in the house.
Totally agree. There is nothing scarier than a person who is mentally unstable and entirely socially apathetic having an automatic firearm. Awful consequences.
I had to work in Newtown two days after the shooting and then again when the first funerals were happening. There's only one main road to get anywhere and you have to drive by the church where the services were being held and the school. I'll never forget sitting in a line of cars for nearly an hour knowing most of the people in front of me and behind me were on their way to a child's funeral. Having buried my own child years earlier made me want to abandon my car and hug everyone even though I knew that wouldn't change a thing. It was such an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and just gut wrenching devastation. I don't know what purpose this post serves, i just needed to get it out.
I'm glad you took the time to write your post. It does serve a purpose, so thank you. I'm sorry for the loss of your child. May your sweet angel rest in peace.
I’ve always seen ppl say killers have “nothing behind their eyes” but this is the first time I feel I’ve actually seen it. His eyes are literally void of any emotion. It’s absolutely horrifying :(
@S. Labouisse Get real dude. Not everything is fake. Alex Jones doesn’t even believe SH was fake. Kids died, not everything is fake, not everything is real. Use critical thinking
@S. Labouisse you make me want to throw up. I literally know Mr and Mrs Wheeler. Are you actually that stupid that you are claiming that my close friend photoshopped dozens of photos of himself and his nephew Ben over a course of 6 years in preparation for a “fake”? 6 years before the murders, they premeditated faking the birth of their child so they could fake his murder? I guarantee my friend doesn’t even know how to do basic photo edits. Are you going to claim I am being paid to say this?
Excellent analysis! I have a son who has ASD. It takes two very dedicated, patient, sane, caring, responsible parents to care for these children. The mother of Adam Lanza was irresponsible and lacked discipline. I’m not letting the father off the hook either. He knew his son had access to guns. The home was broken to a degree that rules were non existing. This case was a “perfect storm” for what occurred. My son is now 33 years old, has a good job and is married with a son. However, he calls his father or me every day for much needed counseling. I believe our extraordinary efforts has helped to keep him sane. Although we are never out of the woods, had we not kept a close watch over him growing up, our lives today would be very different. My husband and I find your podcasts very interesting and spot on. Thank you for educating so many people about conditions and mental illness.
seems to me the mom was co-dependent “Codependent parents have a hard time enforcing boundaries and limits when their child becomes angry, sad or even distant”
You know some things that others don't. Co-dependency is buried. I am an addict on the other side. You have every right to be here. Rights however come with responsibility.
Agreed. And I also think she just really had a huge dissonance about mental health. She might not have been educated enough to understand him, or how to help him. That's why I love the internet, and youtube channels like this. Knowledge is power, and can change the world if we know how to use it.
Adam certainly had a miserable life. And why weren't his issues addressed when he wrote the essay in 6th grade. He refused taking meds and psych care, but his mother could have enforced this.
Both of his parents were wealthy enough to employ a tutor who could meet Adam's needs. Neither of them wanted to play that part. He didn't need an enforcer but he needed someone to educate him, so that he trusted the meds would help. Not all do. If they had bad side effects? Other methods can be used. Too bad for them. They mentally tossed him away. They paid the ultimate price for it too.
She tried for years but He refused rejected the plan and the only solution was to keep him at home. He chose to have a miserable life and his perception of the world was mental...I just wish He would had continued to seek help it would prevented a tragedy....
At the age of 14, a child has the right to refuse medication and treatment. Seriously think about how you would "enforce" medication and therapy on someone adamantly refusing it. Physically drag him into the therapist's office? Force the pills down his throat? Disordered children are often oppositional and defiant, and the mental health laws are not in the parent's favor.
I think he saw that a lot of shooters took psychiatric medication and wished to avoid taking it himself. He studied the issue quite a bit, and there is a bit of a correlation with mass shootings and drugs like Prozac and Xanax. Whether they're a major contributing factor or not is tough to say, but there's a bit of evidence Adam was on Prozac and in the Anarchy radio call where he talks about Travis the chimp - he mentions Travis was taking Xanax as a main point to convey how much of "a complete mess" Travis would be if he were human. I imagine Adam was troubled and gave up on his humanity, becoming the type of monster he spent all that time studying in a "if the shoe fits" sort of mentality.
It only takes confidence if you are seeking people's approval. If you have autism though, he might not even be thinking about anybody else in the room.
You can have high levels of anxiety and social awkwardness while being extremely confident in narrow fields. I think video games offer something something safe and structured to excel in. In the arcade people would judge him for his skill at the game rather than his social awkwardness and communication (or he'd at least that's how he'd see it). I might have been one of the only things in his life which didn't make him feel like a useless piece of shit.
@@chunkyMunky329 I never thought of that. I would be way too self-conscious to do that too. Maybe if I had been practicing for ages at home so I already knew I had every chance of not looking the fool doing it out in public.
"We Need to Talk About Kevin" that was a stunning movie. People who have kids on ASD need help. Not every parent is equipped with raising a child on ASD. We need to have a better social net to catch the ones that fall through the cracks. Dr. Grande, I appreciate how you are careful not to label people on ASD, thank you.
No parents are equipped to deal with ASD, as a parent of a child with ASD myself every day is a new learning day. It's exhausting both mentally and physically and there isn't much help either especially when they leave primary school. I wouldn't change her for the world though, she is the most thoughtful and loving person and she knows the difference between right and wrong.
@@sharonw2008 I know I have a child on ASD 15yo boy. When I said not all parents are equipped with this disorder I meant not every parent knows developmental milestones, have enough education to rapidly learn and apply methods to help their kids, have enough patience, have enough discipline to be consistent and follow through therapy suggestions, so on and so forth. I also worked as an instructional therapist for kids ages between 3 and 6. I came across various families. It is quite taxing on mothers especially. Love and hugs to you!
@@sedaisildar8120 There are a few performances by Meryl Streep that can give me chills; namely her roles in "Kramer vs. Kramer" and "Sophie's Choice." If you ever watch either of those movies you can expect a chill down your spine from Meryl either portraying a Holocaust survivor in "Sophie's Choice" or as a mother fighting for custody of her young son in "Kramer vs. Kramer."
It's a dirty job but Dr Grande is the most applicable to do it. I take 'informative approach' directly as a warning. There is RRR and XXX, but after this episode that guy looks pealed and me flaked, i.e. ZZZ 😑👍
I wonder if Lanza's mom herself had some form of mental illness or autism? That could explain why she made some of the strange choices she did in regards to her son's behavior. Perhaps 3 loads of socks a day didn't seem all that strange to her if she herself had similar compulsions but to a lesser degree. If she had an obsessive academic interest in guns because of autism or OCD, she may have assumed her son had those same interests in the same non-violent way SHE did. She may have had some of Lanza's same mental issues without whatever it was in him that made him violent, thus her threshold for "this is too odd we need to do something" was way higher than most people's, and she couldn't perceive things had gotten as dangerous as they had.
Some women with narcissistic traits become obsessed with their male children and view them as perfect. My dad’s mom was like that and it did not suit him well. He ended up abusing me.
I concur. We rush to blame parents, it's not a stretch to believe she had severe mental issues as well. We have an untreated mental health pandemic disguised as a gun problem.
What else are parents supposed to do? How are they supposed to communicate with their child? My parents for example left me alone to make friends my age. Our lives were separate. They didn't take an interest in me or engage with me at home, I find this to be normal. Maybe it is not a beautiful life, but it is pretty common. Again, speaking from experience I have siblings and parents but we are all separate from one another. Ive doubted it before, but we all leave the nest and form our own family/friends anyways for accompaniment, which is what he could have chosen to do.
@@okyesn6139 I find this to be sonewhat common but I dont find it to be normal at all, sure people go off and do their own thing but a completely fractured family to the point where you communicate primarily in sticky notes with your live-in child feels completely wrong to me
$240k annually in alimony? The family obviously had the means to circumvent the system and secure the care he needed. The mother was in denial and probably had mental health issues of her own.
Thank you for trying to view autism from a more neutral, clinical perspective rather than the stereotypes that are usually applied to us [autistic people]. I appreciate it a lot when I view your videos.
@Pill Smith terrible take, being autistic doesn't mean you're completely detached from reality. you can get diagnosed and you can figure it out on your own terms
@@SA-wu4lv almost all spree killers and serial killers have been autistic males. If that demographic were to cease to exist a good chuck of the craziness in the world would too. We didn't have weekly shootings when these blockheads were institutionalized.
Dr. Grande's presentation here and in other installments, is articulated clearly and logically. He draws his listeners in with his soft voice and his excellent analyses.
This one made me uncomfortable because the vast majority of people on the spectrum are more empathetic than they are given credit for with no desire to cause anyone harm.
EXACTLY, his lack of empathy, his zoned out affect, pedophilia etc and yet his mother gives access to assault weapons.., he had far more wrong than simple spectrum..this is highly unfair to those with autism who would never harm
Some observations... The lethal elephant in the living room is Lanza’s access to exponentially lethal weapons. Why attempt to bond to a disturbed child through trips to the shooting range. Why leave an arsenal unsecured? Were there as many trips to a therapist as to the shooting range? Writing about the Sandy Hook massacre in the past, what has stood out in my mind is how Lanza’s extended family seemed to have abandoned him.
No therapy for how other people treat you because of your looks. If you want the answer of why things like this happen, just read the comments. Combine people treating him like shit his whole life with his psychopathy and at some point you end up with someone gaining power over others in the most violent way.
This is the unfortunate reality of autism of both kinds. Many people don't want to believe it exists except in people that are very low functioning. The idea of someone with autism able to somewhat function in life is foreign to them and they believe that the person is just "weird" They don't treat them with the care and help that anyone with autism needs, they treat them with contempt and denial for being strange and different.
@JT Raven As a person who comes from a country with heavily restrictive laws on guns and self-defense I have to say: it's all bullshit and it solves nothing. Al it does is prevent the good people from defending themselves from criminals and a corrupt government (which all governments are to an extent, ours especially). Again - actual citizen of an actually heavily restricted county.
Don't bully people, point, laugh and ignore them like they are a plant. Try to be nice. it's not always easy. Try. There are a lot of Adam Lanza people around. He was angry at a system that is unfair. We are NOT all created equal. And there ARE people above the law.
Yup. So many of this kinds of situations could be prevented if people actually took the time to care about people's mental health and listen to the warning signs.
I know it's 'out of style' these days, but I can't help thinking that he would have been better off if he'd gone into a 'special school' or some other facility. His mother didn't seem to have a clue how to raise/manage a son with so many issues, even when he was a younger child.
I read he had some crazy food habits that lead to him being very malnourished throughout his life. This also probably affected his brain and decision making ability
His lowest weight was 98 pounds, Lanza also wrote his documents that he had a hatred for “fat” people, and a appreciation for “thin” people, he also deemed “thin” people as “graceful and beautiful”, and encouraged people to stop eating. That’s blatant anorexia right there, not to mention, he also played Dance Dance Revolution for up to 12 hours a day, which could probably be some form of over-exercise, a behavior that many anorexics display. Also, just look at the photos of himself!! He looks so emaciated, he was literally wasting away due to malnutrition and anorexia.
I’m on the autism spectrum and I’m a bit annoyed by the comments. People are treating it like if you are on the spectrum you must be mentally challenged or something. While some on the spectrum are, there are also people on the high functioning end who having perfectly normal intellect, and some who even have higher intellect than most.
A mother acting like everything is OK can be one of the worst things ever... EDIT: Of course the father is at fault too for not even being there in the first place and it shouldnt all be the mothers responsibility to look after a kids mental well being (its an awful society standard that boys cant really talk to their dads about feelings even if they have a dad in their life). I just wasnt thinking of that when I wrote the comment.
Yeah. Blame the mom. Convenient. Until it's you trying to figure out how to deal with something nobody can tell you how to deal with. And nothing you try works.
@@Thundersnowy I get the point but was she trying at all? there was clear neglect here, she was getting 200,000 in child support. could not have searched some help?
@finalgeneration First responders and others going in 1 door and coming out another....milling around then going in again.... = bullshit Look around my friend... the video is on youtube..
It's a common misconception that you can't judge someone by the way they look but if you see someone who looks totally out of it they probably are. The trick is to use your best judgement when interacting with new people. If they look fucking insane then run the fuck away.
His facial features, the protruding ears and elongated face, are common in Fragile X Syndrome. ASD and Fragile X share common features in the way they communicate and interact socially.
Adam Lanza's parents esp. mother really enabled his psychopathy. What parent does multiple loads of laundry daily because the child compulsively puts on new socks all day? To encourage the kid's access to weapons really is unbelievable. It takes denial to a whole new level.
Exactly! I would have said...sorry you're out of clean socks...I guess you can learn how to use the washing machine, wear a pair inside out, or knock it off. If the kid can use a gun, he can operate a washing machine. Case closed.
Yes, making him do his own laundry is EXACTLY what should have happened. He has a compulsion - okay, but that has the consequence of running out of socks. "Therefore, here is what you do to mitigate the issues caused by your compulsion." YOU. The one dealing with the compulsion. Making an issue of it makes the whole problem worse. Instead, the person with the compulsion should have the choice of finding a way around it, or doing the extra laundry.
If the kid can load a gun, he can work the knobs of a washer and dryer!! I also believe his own father is at least 50% to blame; ignoring his son and just sending a check to the ex wife gets a ZERO rating from me in the "dad of the year" survey.
You can almost understand (without agreeing with, of course) the motivation behind a high schooler killing the classmates he believed bullied him. But this Lanza guy gunned down a classroom full of first graders. He is absolutely the worst of the worst when it comes to mass killers. What he did was so horrible that here in America we have a whole demographic of halfwits who say the crime never happened.
@@Slow_Biden It's been a dark month.... This month was supposed to one of celebration, but I can't help but think about the kids and the families affected They're going through so much that I'm not capable of even understanding.... I wish we could do more than just give out our prayers and condolences, it feels empty now saying that.... it lost its meaning
These completely unbiased, non-judging, neutral and objective observations, no matter how horrific events covered, are such a relief these days. Thanks for your videos. Merry Xmas.
"These completely unbiased, non-judging, neutral and objective observations, no matter how horrific events covered, are such a relief these days. Thanks for your videos. Merry Xmas." - This has to be from one of this channel's shills
@SgtMajorSkull No. Its because its a neutral analysis without hyperbole, hysterics, or conspiracy theories. Thats so rare nowadays. Most people dont understand the diff between fact and opinion or theory. And you cant talk about an event that has been politicized im some way without a whole bunch of hysterical nutters spouting off in all directions. So yeah, its refreshing.
he is reading a script, that was prepared by others, he can not have gleaned this information from the dead, or government, unbiased for sure, but then the best doctors are right? because he has a phd attached, is he a god?
As a parent with an autistic child with anxiety, it's tricky to keep a balance between supporting them and keeping them involved in the world, and not pushing too hard and pushing them into mental breakdown, serious OCD, panic attacks etc. Life is a struggle for these kids. I've seen parents manage it different ways, some over-compensating, others under-compensating. That's normal. From your discussion, and my experience of parents, Nancy's parenting seems to be in normal range, but it became explosive because of the interest in violence and the access to guns (maybe in the whole family). I wouldn't tolerate much of that in my home, and know pandering to obsessions didn't help, but I know many - many, many - other parents (and adults in relationship) who don't come down strong with obsessions and disrespectful behaviour. Perhaps because they find it hard to find clarity on what is a loving line to draw. That's normal, so I don't think people should be judgemental about Nancy. She's not even that far out of normal range, if at all, especially in a society that is accepting of guns. It's tough being a mum without support, and autism radically reduces the amount of support available : - often school makes life _more_ not less difficult, so it's not supportive (so Nancy needed to withdraw her son from school); - family backs away, relationships break down under stress (Nancy's relationship breakdown); - friendships aren't available for the child; - parenting books, methods, cultural norms don't work. So it puts a lot of pressure on the support and energy of that one person, the mother, unless the father is genuinely supportive. And then everyone is judging the mother, heightening her stress and lack of support and understanding, adding to the pressure. Put any woman in that position and she'll struggle. I'm praying for all women in this position right now.
hRrG4LYA can you recommend who and where to go to get help with a situation like hers. In any state or city and he could take meds for the Anxiety and the OBC. So that could eliminate some of it. What is available in other words? Or what would be a good plan for these kids? A beginning of something
Lori Sutherland - medication helps, but the problem is so deep and difficult, as I described. A caring person who doesn't judge or misinterpret is helpful - eg, in school or a medical setting. But how can this be guaranteed? I think there's a quality of person, like "high conscientiousness" - Dr Grande's term - that is helpful. But many professionals are extremely unhelpful in their understanding and attitude. Many have limited theoretical understanding, which doesn't go deep enough. For the parent, I would say keep seeking help as you never know when you'll meet a good person. Meantime, keep being warm and loving to your child : they need it. Love doesn't equal doing whatever the child feels they want, because actually what any child wants is to feel safe and contained. That's true. Pandering to personality disorders is not helpful, even though it comes from a loving place. Loving boundaries are important, and these need to be from the heart, in relationship between you and your child. How do you want your home to look, your relationship with your child to look? Work towards that, with little steps, not to traumatise your child, but to guide them to coping with what currently freaks them out. What skills are necessary for them to cope with life? The skill to accept a cuddle is, I think, necessary - but it might not be easy to work towards. (And it's a controversial thing to say, as many will disagree and say they manage without physical contact and it shouldn't be inflicted on children. I disagree.) Love can freak a child out, or a cuddle, so go gently, but don't lose sight of the outcome you're aiming towards. Imho and experience, children need relationships, love and physical contact, and that includes autistic children. I also think physical boundaries from violent behaviour are essential - containing the child, before they get too big, to hold them back from hurting themselves, other people, animals, or belongings. Hold them in your arms and say "I'm not going to let you hurt yourself, me, our pets, or any of our things" or "I'm not going to leave you alone with these difficult feelings, I'm here for you." As they struggle, you hold them. They start to grow more secure in your capacity to take care of them, know a good direction, and be in charge. Medication helps when the world they're facing is to difficult to face, it can ease fearfulness. So many approaches to autism aren't loving, though. The child may reject love, but they're not actually rejecting love, it's just hard for them. And/or hard for the parent to express love in a healthy way. There's my thoughts. I very much hope it can help someone.
On motivation: Anger at his mother, who wanted to sell the house (and I read but can't find now, to put him in an institution) and start a new life somewhere else. Whether she planned to institutionalize him or take him with her, the change would have been extremely upsetting to him. Why first-graders? Possibly related to his interest in pedophilia. (He wrote a play about a relationship between a 30yo man and a child, and the FBI found info about pedophilia and rights for pedophiles on his computer and in his room.) Warning signs: According to the FBI report, someone reported to the Newtown Police Department in 2008 (4 yr. before the massacre) that Lanza had said that he planned to kill his mother and children at Sandy Hook with an assault rifle. The report said that Newtown Police Department told this person that there was nothing they could do because the mother owned the guns legally. (Huh? Why not talk to the mother and ask her to remove the guns from their home?) On mothering: Probably the worst mother ever. Instead of helping him learn to socialize, she took him out of school and isolated him further. Knowing his predilection for violent computer games and his anti-social personality, it was absolutely irresponsible for her to give him access to guns. This tragedy is all the worse because it could have been prevented.
Good info! I thought that detail about a 5th-grader writing a story about a gun in a cane was strange. Very strange. Unless, he’d seen The Avengers. The detail about the planned move was discussed on Frontline, during the aftermath. An unforgettably tragic result of years of denial-don’t agree with Dr. T. it was “a phase.” Ironically, CT is one of the few states which takes mental health seriously; & so viable avenues of help were all around them.
@Ozymandias Nullifidian nice hypocritical brain you have there. Calling me out gor having a collection of breakout videos because I like watching documentaries when you playlisted a video about Skylar Neese
@Ozymandias Nullifidian also, that's not my only playlist. I'm just not a dumbass like you and I made some of my playlists private. Unlike you who has 40 different playlists all public for me to see.
One thing ive noticed in every school shooting case is that the shooter lacked a connection with their parents. This could be the parent(s) were abusive, ignored the kid or rarley talked to them, a lack of understanding of the child like the parent didn't understand the kid due to autism or other mental illness, or the parents didn't care at all like in lanzas case. A parents connection with a child is very important and if that doesn't exist conbined with other factors like bullying, loneliness, or isolation can create a human timebomb which leads to violence either in murder or suicide
it's biology, you probably would not understand it btw, i got ya troll over HERE! right here, you want it? go back to the video games and don't tamper in things you don't understand @@Relayzy1
My son had ASD, and he had counseling and School support classes for kids with Autism. He became an excellent student and more outgoing in middle school. He had many friendships in High School and is a perfect student in college with many friends. Although there is still some rigidity and some anxiety, he has come a long, long way.
@@musictraining5071 I care. It’s great to know that there are parents who help their children receive adequate treatment in order to become successful because of it. Kudos to you, Ann! Excellent job, Mom!!
@@lorel9371 treatment for what? for stuff like ADHD and autism. half of the time it's hardly a "disease" that needs treatment. society needs to shove it. either they get off their "rigid thinking" or they let it be. i for my parts i'm glad i'm not socialized in this insane society.
@@musictraining5071 Successful in this case, means that Ann raised a son who didn’t kill a bunch of kids or educators. That’s success to me. Your warped sense of what you perceive people believe success is, doesn’t apply to me. You make negative, distorted assumptions. Seriously though, who cares?!?
If there are simple things to take away from this, they may be: Be invested in your child's day to day life; Early intervention with mental health makes a big difference. I am autistic myself, and earlier in life around 20-21 I got in trouble with the law for threatening to harm someone. Going back over that period and my childhood now, as a mature adult with good hindsight and insight, there were many signs that I was not developing to normal milestones and that I was having problems with mental health. A theme I had and have seen in some other Autistic males is hiding away from the world and escaping into fantasy and video games, and I was doing this myself as a teenager. It likely led to some of the arrested social development as I was not engaging socially and developing the learned behaviours I would need to survive and thrive socially. I also had Anxiety and Depression, and what I now understand to have been a moderate to severe form of Derealization disorder. The Anxiety (GAD), Depression, Derealization, and escapism was almost certainly a means to cope with a dysfunctional home life (my parents marriage broke down, they were fighting regularly, and my brother had some kind of behavioural problema and likely had/has paranoid personality disorder and was unpredictably unsafe to be around). Also I was severely and violently bullied to the point I survived what I suspect was an attempted murder. I had a sense something was different about me, that the peers around me were moving on in a way I failed to grasp and I needed to grow in the same way, that I needed help, but the world was far too scary to engage in and it was easier to hide away like I was, and when I had tried speaking up about myself or things happening at home it was brushed off or I was treated as a "weak man" by Adults outsode the family. I think my Father did sense something was amiss and tried to get help but was brushed off too. The criminal incident itself was in a welfare office and I had threatened my welfare case manager, there was a combination of immediate things (requiring me to take an "employment course", which from experience did nothing but reinforce negative views about the unemployed, and this was the fifth course they had demanded I take, also I was involved with a "fake friend" I had not identified as toxic at the time who was messing with my head, also I was in a casual weekend job where I was belittled and treated like crap), and long term issues unaddressed (continuing conflict in the home, parents, though now split, resentful of me and antagonistic over still living with them instead of acknowledging something was wrong), and lack of getting help for me even with major warning signs by this point (I had suggested once that things would be better if I just topped myself). I was angry at my family, my situation, what the world have given me (or not given me) so far, and I seemed to hae thought "fuck it, you're all treating me like shit so I have permission to treat you all like shit" which is how I did what I did. The good news was, once I was interrogated and shown the victim's impact statement, a conscientious part of me kicked in and I broke down in remorse having realized what I had put another human being through, and the policeman realised I was genuine and something was wrong here. I got psychiatric evaluation which led to treatment for anxiety and depression and a suspended sentence with probation, and the treatment helped immensely. I later moved away from family, it was a struggle being on my own but things became much more stable. I wasn't diagnosed with ASD until later though, after several misdiagnoses by professionals using outdated tests or not understanding the condition properly. Today I am reasonably well adjusted, and have caught up developmentally. I underwent an intensive 6-month psychotherapy treatment addressing my childhood, which led to me having serious conversations with my parents about how they raised me, and from there we have developed constructive relationships. I tried to reconcile with my brother but he still has his own mental health issues and refuses treatment so I have to keep my distance. I'm having to live off disability support in my country, I've attempted to move towards a more normal life like moving to cities with more opportunities and starting new careers, but these efforts have not worked out long term, also I have worked on my friendships and attempted relationships, but being comfortable very much my own company I don't have many friends and haven't found a compatible partner. However I have the values, insight, conscientiousness and adjustment to not go down this path again. If I did have one wish, it was if I could do something to help others in these circumstances, so that they have support and do not go through the pain I lived in my childhood.
Thank you for covering the psychology of Lanza, most work done on this case is tearjerking pertinent to the victims, which is important but I think we need to look at the minds of these criminals as well and their background to hopefully avoid tragedies in the future.
It's simple, he entered adulthood and was aware enough to know he'd never have anything approaching a fulfilling adult life. This kind of knowledge tends to lead to bad outcomes. I should know, i've also been deemed to have Asperger's and i've made it to 45 somehow. The difference with me is i cannot imagine harming others. Myself is another matter.
I hope that these types of stories can demonstrate how important it is for children to be assessed and given the best treatment options for any mental or developmental differences or delays they have.
I am too but I have to say I’m confused by what you’re saying. Extra words and the double negative have me confused. So you can’t believe it isn’t over stimulating and exhausting? Care to reiterate
@@endorfiene7457 sometimes I understand what people are saying, and sometimes I can’t. You can’t even believe how killing isn’t extremely over stimulating and exhausting? So you believe how killing IS extremely over stimulating and exhausting? Or was there a typo? What was your point if you could rephrase it?
Adam's father, Peter, believed his son, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s, was also likely an undiagnosed schizophrenic. See the New Yorker interview of 3/17/2014.
I am convinced he was misdiagnosed. It is very common for Asperger's and schizophrenia. Schizophrenia changes about the age of 20. When do these school shootings occur? There is no evidence that any of them had Asperger's
J Guenther do they have mental Health facilities to put people in when they don’t take their meds and become unsafe to themselves and others? Why not the psych ward for a month.? Maybe retrain mom on how to deal cause she let him get by and she had no training on how to deal with it.
@@lorisutherland7728 It is extremely difficult to commit someone who doesn't want to be hospitalized. I do not believe Nancy Lanza could have gotten her son committed, if that was her intent.
I love dr Grande, his monotone salutation is so gentle it never bothers me the way most Yt videos clown about PRESSUNG THE LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, PATREON....on and on, nope wont watch them a second time vs dr, G., so gentle, u obtrusive i want to support him on patreon. His videos also PACK-IN the facts! So many that are missed by other channwls! Ivw seen many storiea dr G has done on other channels am nearlt always blown away by how much MEAT he packs into each show! No puffy word salad for thw Dr. Just the MEAT! Respect his wirk a lot. THANK YOU G
The media has completely missed the mark on how they described this gunman. He attended Sandy Hook Elementary as a child. I think there was a strong association between his mental health disorders and where his identity developed in relation to not only his attachment style with his own caregivers but the contrast and reinforcement he experienced probably starting in Elementary school. I cannot believe the negligence in what happened though. Makes me so angry that this could have been prevented with a little common sense.
What role does his father play in all of this? I think understanding the relationship of his parents is important. His dad leaves and sends money and...??? That’s it? His father must have been aware that something wasn’t right with Adam. And was Nancy enabling Adam before the father left? Why did his father (Peter) leave? I am troubled by so much blame being laid on Nancy, although it certainly a degree of blame is warranted. What about Peter’s role? Surely a boy’s relationship with his father has an impact on the kid. Just saying.
yes, right on. Nancy was left alone to deal with the severely sick child. The Executive Father just took off so he did not have to deal with Adam. I can imagine how exhausted Nancy was.
Thank you for this comment! It seems as if in cases like this everyone's always debating the mother's responsibility (and rightfully so), but it's so unfair how noone seems to feel the desire to confront the fathers who just stole away before desaster struck. When a child is born into a relationship, the responsibility doesn't automatically shift to the mother alone!
I read the supposedly official report, which said Mom tried therapy several times, but stopped because it was like "pure torture" for Adam, and was frustrating. Also, Dad tried many times to visit Adam as a minor and adult, but Adam refused. Also, when Adam was in High School, he didn't have to follow the same rules as his peers. Once, a gym teacher told him to do something. He said he didn't have to. He took it to the Principal, who asked the gym teacher to apologize!
Well they were accommodating him but also freaked out by him as was referenced by one teachers email when she found out that he would be in one of her classes. A lot of people were aware that he was an exceptional weirdo and was even studied at Yale University.
Honestly what this kid needed is a good job to keep him occupied and over time he would have most likely warmed up and his dark thoughts would turn into bright ones.rhats what I think anyway
@@wingedhussar1453 mental health is not that easy. It’s different when the brain is “hurt” because is invisible, unlike a physical accident. I find that some people tend to think is a matter of therapy or medication or to occupy the mind in other stuff. Truth is defective brains do not work like that and some people belong permanently in a mental health institution, because its true that you never know what someone is actually thinking, severe mental health issues make these people absolutely dangerous. More unpredictable than the average person.
@@lob1248 sure but him being stuck in his room in his own head did not help at all.him getting out getting a job and maybe meeting new ppl would surely help from whatever thing he was stuck in
He looks scary and creepy no offense but the most bone chilling part is how parallel this is to Salvdor ramos since they both shot a family member first, followed by driving a vehicle alone to/near the school and similar number of casualities
Salvdor Ramos was a psychotic transsexual, that suffered from a vast assortment of sexual dysphorias, sexual identity conflicts, and anger because she was what he was the furthest thing from an young Autistic boy, that probably did not think of sex at all i find it amusing how so many people can find the threads if the scenario is played near the same. it is amazing what people will buy as truth these days, hey if it worked once!
Kip Kinkel killed his parents beforehand and is a Virgo. Zodiac signs are not significant to mental illness. I’m a Taurus, I own several firearms. Not once have I ever considered using them for malicious intent.
True. It's just a giant shit sandwich, it's awful. Domino effect of bad decisions and poor judgement by his mom which lead to that day. Even if she didn't have any firearms, he obviously wasn't getting the help he needed.
Crazy eyes are highly correlated with high psychopathy. Stay away from people with eyeballs like that. Adam Shiff, EOC, and Charlie Manson just to name a few.
Stfu, why do women go so far with the empathy? I noticed this on the soft white underbelly channel too. He wasn't abandoned, he was enabled. As far as we could tell, his family did love him, his mom especially so, he just wasn't capable of feeling emotions and didn't want any help
I rather dislike and disagree with bringing up violent movies and video games in any case. If there were any significant correlation between those and violent behavior, these incidents would be far more common among the general population in addition to those with mental health disorders.
It's never easy seeing that picture. I took karate with his older brother, talked with his mom a lot when she would come to pick him up. She was a nice lady, (at least on the surface with her public face). Met Adam a few times... just stood there silently... never looked you in the eye... and he always had that "blank" look in his eyes (if he allowed you to even get much of a glimpse). Had you asked me anything about him, only thing I'd really have been able to say is that he looked almost exactly like his brother to the point that the genetic probability of such a similarity (at such a drastic age difference) was just crazy to contemplate, and (due to his silence) was his most stand-out feature. We're never gonna know _everything_ about why he did it (Dr. Grande doesn't even talk about how Adam showed up at the school days before he shot it up, there was CLEARLY a "fixation" thing going on). Those kids, their parents, families of the teachers/adults, that whole town, and everyone who experienced it will never get full closure. I'll tell you this, the bullying culture in Sandy Hook School IS actually strong. I've always suspected that being part of the equation since he was fixated on the school WAY BEYOND his time in it. The teachers in that school at that time (when he attended) did an absolutely horrendous job at identifying when an individual was being bullied, let alone ever acted on it to stop it... so it doesn't surprise me to hear them say "nothing was seen/reported". Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that they even resorted to publicly shaming him in front of his peers as a way to try and "motivate" him to change his behaviors. (keep in mind, that is speculation based on first hand experience with THAT SPECIFFIC school system and school itself). There's never been any other reason that came to mind to explain why he was there and why he did it. If he's writing that story about the gun cane in 5th grade for an assignment... and Sandy Hook School was k-4... then you're gonna tell me he was feeling THAT much rage at THAT age and wasn't getting bullied? Bullshit. I'd be willing to bet that he was relentlessly bullied AND was incessantly invalidated/ignored/abandoned by authority when it came to addressing it (IF he brought it up considering how silent and shut off he was)... it was a common experience for many. The "weird kids" were picked on the worst BECAUSE they were easy targets for all the other kids to use as "community punching bags". The other fucked up thing about that day was CNN jumping the gun before ALL of the details were gathered. Adam took his brother's ID with him, and Ryan was originally named as the one who did it. One of our mutual friends even ended up having to talk to the media because of a stupid comment on an image posted to Ryan's Facebook account... not only did that fucker end the lives of innocent children, people who jumped in the way to try and save their lives, and his own mother, but he dragged his own brother into it as well in a way that constituted a "fuck you, deal with this". It's fucked up seeing that picture
Wow. Your insight is fascinating. Hope your area has taken a strong stance on bullying. Hope people could at least learn a lesson and get something from this awful thing. So sorry you experienced this. Hope you and your family and community are well now. Hope you all found or will find peace.
@@stevenpaplan7154 I wouldn't want to move back to that town, that's for sure. You have former school bullies on the police force... and very strange inner-circles of a few families that have been there for absolutely ever... and more than it's fair share of fucked up occurrences (and i probably have no clue as to how many things happened in the 80s/90s). - The woodchipper stuff in Fargo was based off a real murder in Newtown from the 80s. - Way too many teachers in student sex scandals (3 just within my time living there). - As with most "wealthy white suburban towns", heroine and cocaine are somehow a crazy big issue that is able to persist amongst a heavy police presence, and MANY kids OD'd. - As far as I've heard there's no explanation for this next thing (and i don't know if it is still happening), but there is clearly SOME organization in the High School that is engaging in a hazing ritual of making a person run mostly naked, with their hands bound, on the side of the road, only to make them squat in the bushes is cars drive by. I was told about it from someone who described what they saw, and then I actually witnessed it for myself one night. Not to intentionally rob you of hope, but i doubt that that town has learned it's lesson. The narcissistic helicopter parents that want to be all up in your business if you aren't giving them the results that they desire, despite attempts to use logic with hem, are neglecting the actual needs and healthy development of their children in hopes to creating ideological/behavioral clones of themselves... and there is clearly a culture of "abandon the child until it falls in line" going on amongst the "adults", who all seem to use the same blame-shifting method of pointing to mistakes or the effects of abuse as justifications for being overly harsh. Frankly, Dr. Grande should do a whole episode (maybe series) on Boomer narcissism and how it has affected the culture/country on multiple levels... starting with how they abused their kids due to their conditioned fear responses from Cold War era propaganda.
@@GreenH0cker @Hocker interesting. I couldn't agree with you any more about the boomers. All over the world they're holding back progress basically. I dont know, your town sounds like a normal place honestly. Cops are that way everywhere, drugs are bad all over, teachers sleep with students, towns go through murders, hazings of sorts happen. Granted, your example is a bit extra, especially for, high school aged kids I'm assuming. But Adam's story is super extreme..... maybe he wasnt bullied? Autism effects everyone differently. Maybe he was just going through something, and yeah, got fixated on the school for some reason. I dont understand why he was allowed to have guns in the first place. It's just really sad at the end of the day. If one child family was grieving that would be devastating. I cant imagine the scene for all those families. It's like you grew up in a stephen king novel. Except a little more dark and twisted. Fascinating talking to you.
Not to say he wasn't bullied. I would trust your judgement above most.... but does anyone really know? Maybe they do. And you would probably know the ones that di
@@stevenpaplan7154 no, i'm a bit older than him, around his brother's age... no idea who, and did admit that it's just been a suspicion based first hand knowledge of the school and culture within it. And yea, Newtown sounds a bit like "IT". It's definitely not like its the only place that's like that, but there's an interesting concentration of it. The woman who wrote Hunger Games is from there too, if that's any indication of how dark a person's mind can get while living there.
Has anybody ever watched Bates Motel on Netflix? Norma basically ignored her sons mental health issues, made excuses for his actions, and gave into whatever Norman wanted. Even though his brother was telling him HEY!! Norman needs help. I feel like that’s exactly how Adams mother was...just completely pushed her sons needs aside.
Unfortunately people do these things to show how bad they are feeling. They literally take you to "the place they are in." I just wish they'd ask first if one wanted to go. R.I.P those poor souls.
His mother drove him to heinous crimes against humane behaviors. Unempathetic parents. The family were super rich have no excuses for ignorant abuse of power. They deep down knew what was brewing.
I know a lot of people who have lots of guns..... every gun is stored in a large metal gun SAFE.... unloaded and many taken apart for safety... the children do not have the ability to get into the safe..... This mother failed her child by having guns around a mentally unstable child
Yes and it was early reported there was a safe, as she was some type of shooting sports enthusiast. But why Adam had complete access isn't known. I totally agree. And unfortunately, tragically, it wasn't just her own child at stake.
@@sherunswithscissors hunting for food is now a sport... some places have to hunt down the wild pigs because they are destroying property but more importantly they will attack children. Gun enthusiasts like to test their skills, ... different guns different skills...
You should do a video on the mental health and personality factors of those who actually believed this was a hoax. Their were people harassing families and demanding to see their children's corpses as that would be the only evidence they would believe. The parents refusals were PROOF it was a hoax. How sick does a person have to be to do that?
Levi, yes, I believe I read that those harassers were inspired by an entertainer called Alex Jones. I had never heard of him until the Newtown incident.
@@bluecollarlit Wrong. Alex and Halbig were late in the game. See a fraction of the dirt on my tiny, no production channel. Download and study the report.
“A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” - African proverb and also, why are schools so sh*t at noticing when pupils have problems? My eldest almost without a doubt has ADHD. All I get from the school is that "we know how it presents in girls". Maybe they do, but they are not going to provide any help unless she starts smashing up the classroom.
Why would you not advocate for your child if you know or suspect something is wrong with them or they are having problems in school? Schools don’t DIAGNOSE ADHD, your child’s doctor does.
I’m a teen with ASD and autism. I don’t condone anything he did. But unfortunately I understand him more than I’d like. I wish I didn’t but we aren’t all that lucky
I am on the Spectrum and went through life not knowing it. When I was growing up autism wasn't really A thing and parents would be too humiliated to admit such a thing or get you help. Teachers would try and tell my mom that something was wrong with me and she would get offended. I would struggle in school because I couldn't stand the sound of A chalk board. I plugged my ears the entire time the teacher gave the lecture. When the work came I had no idea what to do. I also couldnt stand the sound of Pencil on paper. You might as well break my bones. My whole life has been A lonely and unusual struggle. I thought I was retarded up until I was around 20. Got married and my wife hated me A few months in. I tried explaining to her that whatever connects people socially I don't seem to have it. I would watch groups of people socializing and enjoying it and couldn't understand the thread that was tying it all together. I have endured constant ridicule for being different and basically just work and walk this life alone. Don't hate humanity, just dislike people. It has never occurred to me to kill people. I personally dont like that his Murder is subtley tied to his autism. People struggle enough with ridicule and bullying for being different. I have A daughter who is Autistic and when I heard that she sits alone at A table by herself at lunch time it shattered me.
Yes it's extremely rough being autistic :/ I suffer from Aspergers as well, I can understand the pain you went through. Being socially ridiculed for being different or awkward is hard, I haven't been married and don't have a daughter but I have dated. The social distance between me and my girlfriend is obvious, we lack chemistry in everyday activities that other couples enjoy. I can feel that our lack of chemistry is driving her away in the bedroom and in our relationship it has created a lot of distance. Dating can be hard without proper empathy so you can tease and play around affectivley, diffuse tention, and sense moods so you can live harmoniously with your partner. I think you're a great father for your autistic daughter because you know what it's like to be awkward and different.
Youre the one we're worried about. Your critical thinking skills are sub Par and you shouldn't be allowed to vote. Let me guess...your voting for Biden?
@@themodsify I watched it and it's a lot of nothing. I suggest you do actual research and read 'The sheltered storm'. Nothing wrong with critical thinking, but it's plain obvious there is nothing mysterious about the attack itself.
Because this is 100% a psyop. How do you get citizens to beg you to take their guns? Simple, tell them someone shot some kids. Nobody find it odd the number of killed v wounded is so lopsided? Usually its x3 wounded, but this dudes KD was like 20/1? And he was that weird? I don't think so.
What? Shot his mom with a bolt action 22 when he had AR15s and semi auto Saiga shotguns? Wtf? A Glock 20 10mm? Thats like the most powerful Glock they make. Gtf outta here.
Adam Lanza was a very intelligent coherent boy. I was shocked when I heard him on a radio call. He had no trouble communicating and forming intelligent thought. He was calling in about a monkey that attacked and ripped face off that lady.
yeah I forget the specifics of the conversation, but it was an analysis about how the chimp who ripped that lady's face off was reacting to being isolated and he was sympathetic to the chimp. He must have felt the same way, because he spoke extemperaniously about other aspects of our society and it was really a shock. I recall he used vocabulary that I woiuld never expect from even a college graduate. He has portrayed as some kind of silent autistic gun loving retard and he was very insightful. Not sure what his issue was with that school or if it was randome against society. It's worth looking back on people who were so desperate to do things like this. Kazynski was determined NOT to have the insanity defense. He wanted to change society. Looking back at the Unabombers manifesto, after the facebook big tech data mining and J6, his trancendental life philosophy seems more cogent now, as Adam Lanza's analysis of the chimp. I find them both more intelligent than idiots blocking the highway for global warming. @@jaybobdoodles
watching this really disturbed me, because a lot of the description of Lanza's life and traits are shockingly similar to me. Save for the murdering part,
It’s matching a description of this guy who I’ve been in a school with since middle school....except this guy was extremely shy but extremely aggressive, and obsessed with hitler. We do not have good history together.
Don't let it cause you to become upset or self-deprecating. There's always one thing separating good people who happen to be autistic or socially awkward like you and I from evil bastards like Lanza: we wouldn't even CONTEMPLATE a terrible crime of this nature.
Ask questions of what actually happened. A security expert on schools named something like Mr. Wolfgang Halbig asked many questions, but did not receive clear answers. He made a list of questions and he said that he did not get a clear answer to most of them if not all of them. There are very unusual issues not resolved.
@@Eric-ys8do I wouldn't go so far as to say he was evil, he was enabled from a very young age. He was molded into that. It was nature and nurture, an evil person is something entirely different. What he did was evil though.
I appreciate you analyzing this case. I'm on the spectrum and have OCD. Without medication and therapy my OCD really does take over. However, I am very aware when my thoughts/actions are not "normal" and can be hyper-empathetic (though I don't always know how to properly show that I care or can relate)
He had a thousand yard stare his entire life, he moved and spoke like a robot, had to practice human facial expressions like smiling in the bathroom mirror. Something went wrong in utero. He never had a chance of being normal.
He DID have a chance to be normal. His mother was that chance. She could have taken his access to her guns away, pure common sense! But she became his enabler instead. She could have got him therapy. She could have stopped facilitating even greater isolation. She could have taken a stand!
He DID have a chance to be functional if not normal. However he never recieved 1. Mental health analysis and treatment 2. Medications 3. Structured environment and appropriate guidance/limitations.
@Lola Montez yeah a think he Made everything difficult for those around him... I don't blame his parents, it's very difficult to obligate somebody to do something they don't want to do
Sometimes the way we nurture our children shapes who they are. His father didn’t necessarily hide the factor that he wanted a different kind of son. I’m not excusing his behavior but most parents are their child’s first bully .
My story of the day (sorry, it’s a bit long and wordy): The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone and somehow our light, casual convo ended up taking a huge detour into the “get ready for a possible fight” zone! Uh oh! 😬 🤦🏻♀️ I usually don’t fight with my mom anymore (y’all, I’m 41 y/o, ffs! lol), but still!! It’s my mom!! 🤷♀️ Anyways...Mom somehow ended up misunderstanding something I said, and she took it EXTREMELY personally to the point that she was becoming increasingly upset. I tried explaining to her what I had REALLY meant, but she wasn’t having any of it, so I guess my lovely subconscious decided to step in by making me spew out these exact words: “Mom, I wasn’t SAYING you actually said and did that, yada, yada, yada...all I was doing was merely SPECULATING on what could happen in a situation like this...” 😲 What followed next was a very brief, but definitely noticeable, intense silence on my mom’s end of the phone, and just as I started to cringe a bit, she said something along the lines of: “Thanks for clarifying that, honey. I’m so sorry... I really overreacted.” (sans sarcasm, too)! Sooooo, still in major shock (of course) at her reply, (and myself also a bit taken aback/slightly perplexed at what had just taken place here) I was like: “Wai-...what?!” 🥴 WTH just happened?! I think I blinked and missed most of it! My mom has NEVER, EVER just politely dropped something like that disagreement with me or anybody else! Those will now be my “magic words” !! We chatted a few more minutes, totally changing the previous subject, and then said our usual loving goodbyes before hanging up. Major disaster prevented! A HUGE Thank You to you, Dr. G! 🙏
Dr. Grande improved your life!! I feel the same way about him, and I'm sure many of us do! Thank You, Dr. Grande for your thoughtful and educated insight.
Our country is very oriented on preserving individual rights and freedoms. A better system has to be put together to try harder to prevent these horrible happenings that make zero sense to anyone but the person who has snapped
there are good reasons they don't resonate the same with all of us. critical thinking and logic needs to be engaged before the emotional triggers are pulled there is a lot more to this, that simply does not do simply.
How the hell is any school supposed to handle a person like Lanza? Sending children with such severe social problems to a regular school is a recipe for disaster.
My wife adopted a pair of siblings with her previous mate. Long story long, the oldest sib is a psychopath. The ex ran away because of his behaviors. I moved in a year later. Had no idea what I was in for. Our school kept suspending him for violence. We couldn’t keep him at home, no one was safe anywhere around him. Law mandates he gets a FAPE. Parents here are visited by CPS and cops showing up over truancy. We couldn’t homeschool, school couldn’t handle him. It was a nightmare. At 9 years old I thought he was going to rape some smaller kid at his school. Finally he qualified for residential care. Everyone blamed us and treated us like criminals for causing his behaviors and for sending him away. It’s been unreal. People, especially school personnel, ignore these kids and deny the problems or blame the caregivers and turn a blind eye. There’s no help, it’s horrible. My stepson is superficially very charming, smiles warmly at all strangers. It’s all phony. He’s assessing what he can get out of them, and if he can dominate them. He overplayed his hand at the school eventually. He got very ugly and abusive with an aide that was a very submissive type person who had no boundaries. I was glad he finally showed what we live with even if they blame us for it. I was even more glad they finally figured out they needed to care about the other kids safety around him. They would not listen to me even though I had been documenting everything from within a month of moving in.
Agreed, it was a disaster,
She was extremely passive and reluctant to enforce any limits with him. As school year progressed and he got more aggressive she tried to stop him from cutting a girls hair in class. He called her an effing b and continued to try to cut other kids hair. After that incident he started pooping his pants in class to create chaos. We found out the aid was doing ALL of his work for him and any push to get him to do any work was met with this kind of retaliation from him. He’d also smear it all over the bathrooms. Finally when he was caught with a metal piece of a folding chair he’d taken apart to make a weapon, he got his ticket to residential. At home he was trying to start fires and being sexually aggressive to his sister who was also very submissive to him.
Electric shock therapy
No way is this reprobate worth going to jail for again. I’ve already been to jail over false abuse allegations once and it’s not happening again. In order to drive us out of district the school admins orchestrated a stunt to get me arrested. Lied to CPS and local Sherrifs. Too bad for them I kept perfect records of everything on this kid beginning from first month I moved in. I made everyone involved including my stepson regret that bull💩. I spent a year cleaning it up. I got a determination of factual innocence and sued the school. They settled for 145K.
He got 2 1/2 years of therapeutic boarding school. He’s been home a year and what works for us is intense strict structure. He falls out of line he gets to be grounded until he fills out my accountability form with zero blame shifting. He hates those forms. Would probably rather be tazed. 🤣🤣🤣 When he’s gotten it done correctly to my satisfaction, he signs it taking ownership of the incident and the corrective action needed and then I file it in a binder in chronological order in my locked cabinet inside my locked bedroom. I’ve told him if he gets arrested for anything that hurts anyone, I will be taking all my binders to the prosecutor to help them get the max sentence possible because I’ve made sure he knows better now. He’s hasn’t tried anything violent since he’s been home. Zoom schooling is working out great for him. No opportunities to be invasive and irritating to peers. 👍
We’re pretty confident we’re going to get him graduated from high-school without a criminal record. Currently he’s requested to wean off the vyvance and then the Risperdal in order to join the Marines. 2 years 328 more days to go. I would advise people to never adopt from our system. Foster only. Getting stuck with a psychopath and blamed for all the kids they hurt is horrible. There are almost no mental health services that are useful. We’ve had to figure it out on our own, piecing together a system for our home that works and nail down the safety with locks and WiFi cameras. No unsuspecting parents should be tricked into adopting a kid like this and be forced to house a violent mental patient who has no ability to self regulate who cannot feel empathy who spreads ptsd to everyone else in the home until they’re 18.
How could anyone look at him and think he's okay?
He seems cool 😂
He never existed.
Dr. Grande?
He does have an awkward way of speaking, but, I can't quite put my finger on it .
@@sirbader1
I'm looking at a Google list of Dr. Grande's vids in the Google right sidebar. He hardly changes at all. That same affect-free blank stare. Only the shirt changes significantly, and it's virtually the same shirt-style. Maybe he bleaches the same shirt out now and then and painstakingly dyes it in different colors and patterns.
I wonder if the man went into psychiatry to wrest its control over himself, from the inside.
@@sirbader1 oh please ,do you have you psychology degree? You just stated your opinion without any examples or contradicts of the mother behavior then just ad hominem the channel
If she was getting over 200,000 a year in child support, why didn’t she spend some of that on getting him a lot of treatment?
He was a meal ticket- not even on the level of a beloved pet. She would lie to him about his future. Disgusting.
I wasn’t a meal ticket worth THAT much, but we pick up on it early. I can’t imagine what a kid with his problems went through.
When the one person in the world you know should be there for you, can’t be-? No one is worth the time. This poor guy saw no point in living.
It was Alimony, not child support. And she was in denial. Had she gotten 200Million a year, she wouldn’t have done a thing..
@Clark Hull I thought there was a way for family to request mandatory mental health services though, like through a court?
you mentioned Adam Lanza had a mom who would indulge him by doing things like doing 3-4 loads of laundry per day. That's a big sign that his mother was co-dependent. Having an anxiety disorder and a parent who is co-dependent is literally worst thing that happen to a kid psychologically. Just speaking out of personal experience.
It's what mothers do.
@@andymullarx6365 damn yo mama did it??…don’t remember mines doing it🧐
@@andymullarx6365
Mothers are supposed to do what’s best for their children. Not indulge their delusions and unreasonable requests, even if they have mental disorders
She appeased Adam and allowed Adam to run her life like a dictator, and it didn’t fix anything in the end. It cost her her own life, her son’s life, and the lives of a bunch of innocent children as well
the kids need to do laundry....
She seemed worn down & exhausted.
As a special education teacher myself, I blame the Department of Education for eliminating most of the Special Day programs for special-needs children, i.e , the "full-inclusion" garbage foisted on every school in the US. Many of the students "pushed in" to the general ed. programs are not receiving services they desperately need.
Very important point. Nowadays only the wealthiest, those who can afford to live in a major city, can afford to send their kids to schools specifically designed for special needs kids.
Full inclusion works for students with physical disabilities and obvious mental disabilities, so think Down’s syndrome and physical disablement , also people with motor neurone disease , people with disabilities on the autistic spectrum should not be in full inclusion , it’s very difficult for neurodivergent people to adapt to an inclusive environment, hear me out people , I’m autistic and I have ADHD. People like myself can misunderstand social interactions and we have trouble understanding the social interaction of joking around and making fun of people as a friendly thing. We think different, we are not dangerous but we do need to be treated differently, I am not in any way giving this nasty murderer a pass , what he did was disgusting and was a terrible tragedy for all the families involved and he deserves to rot in hell ,my point is that he should have never have been to be in an inclusive school at such an early age, it was only going to lead to him becoming what he became, his hyper focus made him a killer, he could have been pushed into something else , nobody was watching his focus
Feds are to blame for this uninformed legislation...LRE.
Secondly, why wd a mother have guns in the house with an unpredictable & troubled child? What was up with mom?
Mom had 1/4 of a million in resources to meet his mental health needs & instead bought an arsenal.
How did he learn how to operate these weapons?
Let's get real...We know that these brain & emotional behavioral disorders are linked to heroin meth crack & coc use by one or more parent....
I too am a special education student and to see that the Schools or department of education isn’t helping makes me very sad it’s like they don’t care they only want money.
I totally agree. I feel that school districts should do more to help kids with disabilities and provide with support to their families because the money they receive come from government wich is paid with our taxes. But the reality is that they don't care about the kids struggling and let them sink in their own. Very sad but true.
His wide-eye expression screams of an endless void. It is like fear is his permanent fixture. No empathy or emotion is visible at all.
Lots of kids don’t like having their picture taken and will scowl or stare blankly when forced. His face looks to me more like someone who was surprised by the camera, uncomfortable, or too embarrassed to put on a performative smile.
Also, this notion that “empathy” and “emotion” are what keeps people from killing each other has really got to go. If you’ve been centering your morality around how you *feel* about affected parties, I can promise that you are a monster. Empathy is always selective. If you actually felt empathy for every person to whom you owed consideration, you would be unable to function. Too many highly social people try to just use their empathy like a crutch, and they can be stunningly disgusting and selfish if they can’t get their emotional fix. At the end of the day, it was always only about how they felt.
@Michael Cueva Might be, though it comes off as slightly vague. My sense for Lanza and Rodgers (I don’t have a bead on Panzram or Bundy) is that they were largely suicidal. However, suicide can feel like validating the negative judgments of others (“good thing that waste of air took himself off our hands”). With the level of disrespect some people get or feel like they get, he might’ve found it desirable to reframe it as aggression just to ensure he wasn’t doing anyone a “favor”. (The “disrespect” is not necessarily “bullying,” but a hostility and contempt that is more ubiquitous and impossible to appease or even get acknowledgment concerning.)
@Michael Cueva “Hatred of humanity” reads like a literary flourish that doesn’t mean much of anything. Excuse me if I think too concretely for this stuff, but that sounds like a non-explanation.
Rodger’s manifesto had a more notable theme of him obsessing over anything and everything that he perceived as affecting social status. Race, wealth, where he lived, the car he drove, and, of course, sexual partners. It is normal for some young people with social problems to think acquiring status symbols might cure their problems. When his tools were exhausted, however, just killing himself would validate those people he felt looked down on him. By manufacturing a grievance, however, he could feel momentarily significant.
Can’t swear it was that way with him, but “hatred of humanity” barely feels like it means anything at all.
@Michael Cueva He actually did work for those things. Some he already had, given his father’s career. Socially, however, he’d lose by default. Ostensibly, he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which is sort of an autism spectrum condition without the repetitive behaviors and inflexibility. If real, this sort of thing can be crippling if you think about status at all and don’t have any special skill you can compensate with. There was probably no effective concrete “work” he could plan, let alone do. He could only blindly guess.
Your last comment makes more sense to me than the one that came before. “Hatred of humanity” just gets used a whole lot and has a plethora of potential meanings. It sounds only like a literary device, and flourishes like this sound like mysticism to me. Presenting the associated concrete needs and wants makes it a lot easier, and what you say there is not far from my own guess.
@@somexp12 Wow 😯
Of all the many hobbies in the world, why would Lanza's mother introduce her son to guns? Just does not make sense.
@Pat Shaw and that's why the America is great.
Tragedies happen, but eliminating guns is far worse. It looks like Chicago is doing just well and Australia's crime rates too 🙄😉
@@milicadjordjevic4498 there hasn't been a mass shooting in Australia or the U.K in 25 years after banning guns. We also have the advantage of not having tons of innocent or minor criminals shot to death by cops either.
But you will never get rid of your guns so you can look forward to Hundreds of more Adam Lanzas in the coming decades because you refuse to address your problem.
America
@Mercury hmmm let's just check the numbers shall we...bk in a min
@Mercury murders in 2018 UK/US
London 132
Chicago 539
New York 289
Detroit 304
L.A 259
Baltimore 318
ST Louis 188
I looked up Gary Indiana but it was surprisingly low at 46 I think but I guess that's due to only 3 people left alive there 🤣🤣
The mom absolutely played a huge role in this. She bought him the guns and she hardly even talk to him like everybody in his entire life. They didn't even talk to each other unless it was through emails or little notes. If she would have went in his room or at least involved herself in his life she probably would have found all these signs that her son's about to do something pretty crazy.
I was wondering how he got the guns, she got them for him?! Wtf?!
@@redjuice02 yeah she did. She was big into guns.
@@redjuice02 shit no way that kid could even walk into a Bass Pro let alone actually buy a gun if he’s never been around them before. He’d get to nervous to talk to the sales person.
So you knew Adam and his mother? Or are you just making assumptions based on your limited knowledge?
Nancy was a good mother and tried her best but unfortunately some people can’t be saved.
@@phunkyphresh3799 Adam wasn’t as socially awkward as he appeared.
And even if he was the most socially awkward person on Earth, he still had the right to purchase a firearm regardless of his appearance and demeanour...
Do you think gun dealers should refuse to sell a firearm just because the customer is nerdy and socially awkward?
He didn’t even have a criminal record so you’re essentially saying any socially awkward people shouldn’t have any rights.
All parents want their children to be normal. They ignore the warning signs. Supervision is a great first step of intervention.
Too many parents want to be their child's friend instead their parent. They want their children to like them. I'm sure even if Adam didn't have any mental problems, he still would have been given too much freedom at a young age. He didn't pay rent yet no one was allowed in his room? He had mental problems yet allowed to have access to guns? Maybe mom and dad had mental problems too they were just irresponsible.
Agreed Linda
The parents are not ignoring the warning signs. They don't see any warning signs.These people think this kind behavior is normal. it's the way they grew up.
Or just at least some “vision” at all 😂😂. It blows my mind that she allowed her son to live in her house and eat her food, without actually seeing him.
@@channelthree9424 even if you don't pay rent, should have privacy. This isn't uncommon and just because someone is private, doesn't mean they are bad.
Adam's father deserves just as much scorn as his mother, whom the media focuses on. Adam's father was JUST as capable of helping his son, and of keeping guns away from his son. And he didn't.
Excellent point, thank you.
i agree completely. societal pressures of a mother role are are so high standard while fathers are praised for the bare minimum. women are required to meet every criteria as men aren’t.
@@zowchii I didn't realize paying 200 k a year in fucking alimony is considered meeting the bare minimum.
@@jaffacalling53 Money isn't the only factor in child raising. Before their divorce Adam's father never tried to help Adam with his disorder or tried to treat it. All the diagnosis and the only treatments Adam received in middle school are initiated by his mother. Adam very stubbornly believed that his disorder was something forced upon him by the society, so Nancy wasn't able to make him go to any doctors after 8th grade. It's extremely hard to raise a kid with both ASD and OCD. There was once Adam had a fever and couldn't come out of his room, Nancy had to stay outside his room (because he wouldn't let her in) for the whole night and respond whenever Adam called her or else he'd panick. Adam's father was completely absent in all these difficulties.
As a father I can't imagine abandoning a son to this internal prison. How long did this situation go on? When did the beautiful little boy turn inward toward darkness and fear and why didn't the father try to help him? There are many questions that Dr. Grande addresses here but he accepts too much of the official narrative of what happened. I would like to hear Dr. Grande's opinion about Adam's psychiatrist who later fled the United States to avoid prosecution for malpractice (not for Adam's case but for other irregularities). There is still something fishy about what happened at Sandy Hook. Maybe one day we'll hear the whole truth.
His face is so scary, I feel so sorry to the scarred kids that had to go through that and to the ones that died rest in peace
Rest in peace
edit: misspelt peace
@@shenaniganboycarterson le edgy comment
@Nataly Higareda calm down
@Nataly Higareda lol
@Nataly Higareda wtf are you talking about 🤨
Finally, a parent that was held accountable!
You can't just leave your child go untethered and then decide it's a good idea for them to have weapons of any kind. I think more parents need to be held accountable for instances like this.
oh she was held accountable. four times, i believe
A very excellent idea!!
pretty strange of you to consider being shot to death “held accountable”
@@realnuisancei think they were being sarcastic, not literal.
At least he took her down with him. She had no intelligence.
The young man never got the help he needed. To allow him any kind of access to firearms is beyond irresponsible. He needed meds and therapy from early on.
Yeah he also needed to not shoot up a school. Be careful of absolving monsters like Adam Lanza of guilt just because they had issues.
As Dr Grande points out, there is no evidence of psychosis in this case.
Adam Lanza knew precisely what he was doing.
He knew what he was doing was wrong.
He didn't care.
@Yucan Amen.
What meds?
It’s true Lanza had issues, but nothing that could be easily medicated. There’s no reason to think he had any form of psychosis or mood disorder that meds could address.
Edit: I did another watch and noticed what I'd either forgotten or missed. He did have depression and that is associated with increased homicide risk. So, there's something. Still hope you don't mean giving Celexa to a 6 yo when you say "from early on", though.
@@PutonyourSundayBests What on earth does it mean to “absolve” a dead person. None of us can hurt him or punish him. Perhaps you’re looking for justification to sadistically defame other (living) people with similarly flat affects. If they don’t smile for the camera, that’s your cue to give them whatever sh!t is entertaining to you. Then you get to congratulate yourself for “preventing” a shooting when you were, in fact, merely amusing yourself at another’s expense.
@@somexp12 If you don't understand what the word means then google it. Absolve is to free someone of blame or responsibility. Dead people are responsible for the things they did whilst alive.
The rest of your comment reads like deranged ranting. I made no reference to his affect or 'smiling to the camera'.
I read that he weighed 114 pounds at death and was 6 feet tall. That’s anorexia. His mom had to have seen that he was wasting away. He should have been hospitalized and certainly not given access to firearms. She should have at the least have been worried about him hurting himself. His father didn’t really bother with him either. Horrible crime that could have been prevented. I think his mom was so far in over her head that she just drank to avoid his problems.
Eating disorders can be comorbid with autism, some autistic people aren't able to perceive internal sensations like pain and hunger, and sometimes sensory issues limit what kinds of food a an autistic person is able to eat. Whatever the reason for the weight loss, you're right that his mother should have been concerned that he was becoming so underweight and got him professional help.
If she was aware of the spreadsheet of mass murderers, that would be a point to consider inpatient care. Most of the time it's good to let people have their special interests, but a special interest in violence like that should be very concerning. The motivation to engage in special interests can be very strong, so it would probably have taken inpatient care to keep him away from material related to a special interest in violence.
The writing about violence when he was at school should have been a cause for concern.
There are so many points where he showed problems not typical to autistic people where people should have been concerned about him hurting himself or others. It's really tragic that he was left to become so obsessed with violence and had access to weapons.
Six feet tall and 114 pounds...that totally sounds like the physical description of one bad ass commando who could easily carry an entire load of guns and ammunition into a school and then skillfully shoot 26 people dead in less than even ten minutes. Yep.
If he only weighed 114 pounds how could he carry 40lbs worth of machine guns?
@@pepekekistani4472 Wikipedia says he was 6 feet tall and weighed 112 lbs...damn, how did no one notice and ask what was wrong with him??
@@midnightdeirdre Maybe no one noticed him because he never actually existed to begin with?
The mother was an educated woman with considerable means. She had no excuse not to get her son intervention once he started isolating.
The power of denial blinds mother's to their children. It is hard to accept that there is something abnormal with the child, it stems from ego and guilt.
The fact she collected guns makes this debateable. She sounds like she bent over backwards to accomodate his delusions and shouldnt have been filling a house with firearms when she had kids anyway. She has a lot to answer for but I would put a big question mark over her education and emotional stability.
Adam is sexy
nom nom nom was a very strange situation even the aftermath stilll waaaaaay to many unanswered questions things were done diffrently that day ill leave it at that
@Butt Head probably.
You forgot to say why he targeted the little kids. He thought he was saving and freeing them from a lifetime of suffering, rejection and disappointment, just like his life. He had a channel where he discussed a lot of this. Also some of his notes discussed this, in one he wrote "I wake up early just to be disappointed"
He didn’t think that
bullshit
@@takethelanzapill2643 He probably did, based on his RUclips channel where he talked about exactly his antinatalist views and how society treats children (specifically, the "You want to rape them, but I want to save them" part). Also, he expressed something quite similar based on the call to the radio, how society corrupts children. Also, in the interview with his DDR friend, he then again expressed something along those lines.
@@quetevalgavergaaa That makes no sense
@@takethelanzapill2643 I don't care, just read and hear for yourself to the evidence and think whatever you want 🤷🏻♀️ those are all things that he said and was seemingly obsessed with, not me.
As a retired cop, I find your analysis very helpful. My retired job is (as you guessed) an armed guard. I recently took a job in a school district. My main concern is to protect the students and staff. The best way is prevention. It is comforting to know I can learn from your analysis and hopefully identify the signs before a tragic act.
This doctor is full of shit, do better research.
thank you for protecting the innocent, black, white, brown, yellow, it doesn't matter much
Hey Man, if prevention doesn't work and you are facing a crowd with a possible dangerous suspect embedded, I have read that the Secret Service look for what they call "The Assasin Face". Just before they strike their face will often become stark white* and they are expressionless etc. Easy to say, not so easy in real life! God bless Mate.
*(Obviously not darker shades of people, but we all do it.)
Why don't you get on with a big company security department. My company a power utility hires mostly retired police to manage stuff the guards are contracted these guys just sit in offices investigate incidents, and write policies, order guards much better job pay probably over 100k a year too. Armed guard is a lousy job your the first guy bad guy will shoot you won't have backup on a radio like you did before. Friend of mine he was security guard he refused to go armed said a few dollars an hour bump in pay to be a target for criminals wasn't worth it. They put armed security guards at the worst places in town like Circle K open 24 hours a day in worst part of town.
School security guards should be deployed with few guards wearing and rotation between schools.most should wear uniform,but a few uniform security guards should drive unmarked vehicles to possibly confuse any violent persons,because if any stealthy,violent person(s),from within or without the school decided to target school,then any uniform security guards will be evaded,killed,or disabled by armed persons.plain clothes security guards should be discreetly hidden in rescricted areas closed to staff and students(any staff allowed in rescricted guard area should be checked for any weapons or items not allowed-before entry,then area should checked for any items not allowed after staff leaves guard area.these procedures of security are effective for all guard levels and principal levels-which means monthly or bi-monthly--off site school guard supervisor should be deployed for discreet observations of school guard activities in discreet,plain clothes operations,then supervisor reports should be confidential shared with school superintendent,district head of security guards-first,then shared with principl--secondly.any problems,discipline should executed with discreet,confidential,official documented attempted corrections and required therapy(if found therapy required for troubled security guard?) .if security guard is fired from work(or decertified from career in state or nationwide)then former guard required a no trespassing documented warning from all schools in district,with all schools' security staff and principals' staff-warned about former security guard.note:warning applies for former school security guards with children in district schools.note:district may probably warn private schools and warn surrounding states school districts and state department of educations about former security guard.but,foolish school systems and universities-criminal negligence never deployed proper security measures for school properties.
I am lucky. My son has Aspbergers, he is. 40 years old, friendly, personable, sweet and well liked. He has rigid thought patterns and is stubborn as hell. He loves airsoft, had close friendships, and is firmly engaged in reality.
@@nplus1syndrome928 There is, but nothing that will land him in the slammer doing life. Inability to understand why people like deoderant and cooking eggs on the highest setting is a bad idea is shit i can live with.
I have Asperger's also. I'm an asshole, but still very high functioning
@@hairyasstruman2257 my brother and me have aspergers too, but both are high functioning
Is it only boys who have Aspergers ??
@@1985JM interesting question because now that you mention it I’ve only ever met boys with that diagnosis. Technically the answer would now be no, because Asperger’s is no longer an existing diagnosis, it’s just part of autism spectrum disorder, which any sex can have.
I live about 15 minutes from sandy hook and spoke to the officer that was first on the scene of the shooting about 9 months after it happened he was on leave saying he had nightmares and was having trouble functioning on a daily basis due to the shock of what he saw at the school, I remember when the news came on the tv it was a Friday I was just getting ready to eat lunch, my heart goes out to all effected by this tragedy.
I couldn't imagine what a 556 does to a 5yr old point blank
And it sucks that conspiracy nuts out here think this whole event was fake
What was that officers name?
Exactly.
@@HAL-dm1eh Its not fake. I personally know a family who lost their daughter in this massacre. Her name was Emily Parker. My sister’s daughter is even named after her. Ana-Marquez Greene’s father was the music instructor at my university. He is no crisis actor. I’ve seen his grief. I know for fact Sandy Hook happened because I’ve seen the impact the shooting had on real life people and their community.
My sister had two brain tumors removed and then started to have hallucinations. There is no way I would allow a gun in the house with or without her taking medication. Too bad Adam’s mom couldn’t be evaluated. My mother was in denial about my sister, too, but we had no guns in the house.
Knives?
@@truffles2721 hope everything is okay over there 😐
Not just that they had guns in the house... SHE freaking bought them for him!!!! DUH!!!!
Totally agree. There is nothing scarier than a person who is mentally unstable and entirely socially apathetic having an automatic firearm. Awful consequences.
Am so sorry you had to go through these family troubles. It's hard when parents are in denial about a sibling. Hope you are doing okay, yourself.
That photo is scary as hell. Reminds me of that momo character.
I know...scary but also heartbreaking. He obviously needed to be hospitalized and given some serious help.
reminds me of Ian Brown
Honestly the photo of Lanza seems stretched to make his face look bizarre like some sort of photoshopped job.
@@amandac2574 Its Ian Brown
@@ketchupcommander definitely along the same looks but I'm thinking David Hogg is his twin or Lanza himself. Check out a side by side. 🤯
I had to work in Newtown two days after the shooting and then again when the first funerals were happening. There's only one main road to get anywhere and you have to drive by the church where the services were being held and the school. I'll never forget sitting in a line of cars for nearly an hour knowing most of the people in front of me and behind me were on their way to a child's funeral. Having buried my own child years earlier made me want to abandon my car and hug everyone even though I knew that wouldn't change a thing. It was such an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and just gut wrenching devastation. I don't know what purpose this post serves, i just needed to get it out.
God bless you for working there I wish you all the best in life.
The church bells the following year. I was driving. Traffic stopped still.
I cried seeing the funerals of all those kids and the teachers.
As a Newtown resident, I appreciate the kind remarks. We will never forget.
I'm glad you took the time to write your post. It does serve a purpose, so thank you. I'm sorry for the loss of your child. May your sweet angel rest in peace.
I’ve always seen ppl say killers have “nothing behind their eyes” but this is the first time I feel I’ve actually seen it. His eyes are literally void of any emotion. It’s absolutely horrifying :(
@S. Labouisse Get real dude. Not everything is fake. Alex Jones doesn’t even believe SH was fake. Kids died, not everything is fake, not everything is real. Use critical thinking
You saw people say that or heard
@S. Labouisse why do you think it's fake? Lol
@S. Labouisse my friend’s 6 year old nephew was murdered at SH. You should be ashamed of yourself.
@S. Labouisse you make me want to throw up. I literally know Mr and Mrs Wheeler. Are you actually that stupid that you are claiming that my close friend photoshopped dozens of photos of himself and his nephew Ben over a course of 6 years in preparation for a “fake”? 6 years before the murders, they premeditated faking the birth of their child so they could fake his murder? I guarantee my friend doesn’t even know how to do basic photo edits. Are you going to claim I am being paid to say this?
Excellent analysis! I have a son who has ASD. It takes two very dedicated, patient, sane, caring, responsible parents to care for these children. The mother of Adam Lanza was irresponsible and lacked discipline. I’m not letting the father off the hook either. He knew his son had access to guns. The home was broken to a degree that rules were non existing. This case was a “perfect storm” for what occurred. My son is now 33 years old, has a good job and is married with a son. However, he calls his father or me every day for much needed counseling. I believe our extraordinary efforts has helped to keep him sane. Although we are never out of the woods, had we not kept a close watch over him growing up, our lives today would be very different. My husband and I find your podcasts very interesting and spot on. Thank you for educating so many people about conditions and mental illness.
Everyone has "20/20 hindsight"; "shoulda, coulda, woulda" done things differently.
seems to me the mom was co-dependent “Codependent parents have a hard time enforcing boundaries and limits when their child becomes angry, sad or even distant”
Dr Phil is in the Hizzouse
@@TheHeavensFellen 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@JP-cr5uq what do squares mean?
You know some things that others don't. Co-dependency is buried. I am an addict on the other side. You have every right to be here. Rights however come with responsibility.
Agreed. And I also think she just really had a huge dissonance about mental health. She might not have been educated enough to understand him, or how to help him. That's why I love the internet, and youtube channels like this. Knowledge is power, and can change the world if we know how to use it.
Adam certainly had a miserable life. And why weren't his issues addressed when he wrote the essay in 6th grade. He refused taking meds and psych care, but his mother could have enforced this.
Both of his parents were wealthy enough to employ a tutor who could meet Adam's needs. Neither of them wanted to play that part. He didn't need an enforcer but he needed someone to educate him, so that he trusted the meds would help. Not all do. If they had bad side effects? Other methods can be used. Too bad for them. They mentally tossed him away. They paid the ultimate price for it too.
Why do we succumb to meds just to get on with our day? My hope would be that one day I wouldn’t have to rely on them.
She tried for years but He refused rejected the plan and the only solution was to keep him at home. He chose to have a miserable life and his perception of the world was mental...I just wish He would had continued to seek help it would prevented a tragedy....
At the age of 14, a child has the right to refuse medication and treatment. Seriously think about how you would "enforce" medication and therapy on someone adamantly refusing it. Physically drag him into the therapist's office? Force the pills down his throat? Disordered children are often oppositional and defiant, and the mental health laws are not in the parent's favor.
I think he saw that a lot of shooters took psychiatric medication and wished to avoid taking it himself. He studied the issue quite a bit, and there is a bit of a correlation with mass shootings and drugs like Prozac and Xanax. Whether they're a major contributing factor or not is tough to say, but there's a bit of evidence Adam was on Prozac and in the Anarchy radio call where he talks about Travis the chimp - he mentions Travis was taking Xanax as a main point to convey how much of "a complete mess" Travis would be if he were human. I imagine Adam was troubled and gave up on his humanity, becoming the type of monster he spent all that time studying in a "if the shoe fits" sort of mentality.
I find it so odd he would play Dance Dance Revolution in a busy public theatre, that takes a lot of confidence, I would be way too nervous to do that.
It only takes confidence if you are seeking people's approval. If you have autism though, he might not even be thinking about anybody else in the room.
Great question and response.
You can have high levels of anxiety and social awkwardness while being extremely confident in narrow fields. I think video games offer something something safe and structured to excel in. In the arcade people would judge him for his skill at the game rather than his social awkwardness and communication (or he'd at least that's how he'd see it). I might have been one of the only things in his life which didn't make him feel like a useless piece of shit.
@Jenny Farnsworth He was autistic not deaf, dumb and blind. He went to a mainstream school, he can't have been that unaware.
@@chunkyMunky329 I never thought of that. I would be way too self-conscious to do that too. Maybe if I had been practicing for ages at home so I already knew I had every chance of not looking the fool doing it out in public.
Being a parent is the most powerful role you will ever play!
But women keep popping them out as tho its like getting a new pair of shoes. Smh
@@heatherberry640Just give him an iPad, that'll shut him up.
That's why most shouldn't even start.
@heatherberry640
Well, they can’t pop them out without help from the sickos who want to put them in!
And one just as destructive.
"We Need to Talk About Kevin" that was a stunning movie. People who have kids on ASD need help. Not every parent is equipped with raising a child on ASD. We need to have a better social net to catch the ones that fall through the cracks. Dr. Grande, I appreciate how you are careful not to label people on ASD, thank you.
No parents are equipped to deal with ASD, as a parent of a child with ASD myself every day is a new learning day. It's exhausting both mentally and physically and there isn't much help either especially when they leave primary school. I wouldn't change her for the world though, she is the most thoughtful and loving person and she knows the difference between right and wrong.
Tilda Swinton gave a fantastic performance in "We Need to Talk About Kevin."
@@sharonw2008 I know I have a child on ASD 15yo boy. When I said not all parents are equipped with this disorder I meant not every parent knows developmental milestones, have enough education to rapidly learn and apply methods to help their kids, have enough patience, have enough discipline to be consistent and follow through therapy suggestions, so on and so forth. I also worked as an instructional therapist for kids ages between 3 and 6. I came across various families. It is quite taxing on mothers especially. Love and hugs to you!
@@michaellovely6601 oh, she was exceptional with her chilling performance!
@@sedaisildar8120 There are a few performances by Meryl Streep that can give me chills; namely her roles in "Kramer vs. Kramer" and "Sophie's Choice." If you ever watch either of those movies you can expect a chill down your spine from Meryl either portraying a Holocaust survivor in "Sophie's Choice" or as a mother fighting for custody of her young son in "Kramer vs. Kramer."
i am never disappointed when dr. grande posts a video. always makes my day.
Same
It's a dirty job but Dr Grande is the most applicable to do it.
I take 'informative approach' directly as a warning.
There is RRR and XXX, but after this episode that guy looks pealed and me flaked, i.e. ZZZ 😑👍
Agreed.
PREACH 🙌🙏🙌🙏
Ditto
I wonder if Lanza's mom herself had some form of mental illness or autism?
That could explain why she made some of the strange choices she did in regards to her son's behavior. Perhaps 3 loads of socks a day didn't seem all that strange to her if she herself had similar compulsions but to a lesser degree. If she had an obsessive academic interest in guns because of autism or OCD, she may have assumed her son had those same interests in the same non-violent way SHE did.
She may have had some of Lanza's same mental issues without whatever it was in him that made him violent, thus her threshold for "this is too odd we need to do something" was way higher than most people's, and she couldn't perceive things had gotten as dangerous as they had.
her being in denial and wanting a normal kid might also explain some of her choices
Some women with narcissistic traits become obsessed with their male children and view them as perfect. My dad’s mom was like that and it did not suit him well. He ended up abusing me.
I believe it
I concur. We rush to blame parents, it's not a stretch to believe she had severe mental issues as well.
We have an untreated mental health pandemic disguised as a gun problem.
I will guess on my own and just my opinion that she had some mental health issues. I bet I'm right too.
Its honestly disgusting how people think just providing financially means youre a good parent
What else are parents supposed to do? How are they supposed to communicate with their child? My parents for example left me alone to make friends my age. Our lives were separate. They didn't take an interest in me or engage with me at home, I find this to be normal. Maybe it is not a beautiful life, but it is pretty common. Again, speaking from experience I have siblings and parents but we are all separate from one another. Ive doubted it before, but we all leave the nest and form our own family/friends anyways for accompaniment, which is what he could have chosen to do.
@@okyesn6139 I find this to be sonewhat common but I dont find it to be normal at all, sure people go off and do their own thing but a completely fractured family to the point where you communicate primarily in sticky notes with your live-in child feels completely wrong to me
He should have been institutionalized. Period. His mother was not equipped to care for him.
Neither is our system, unfortunately.
$240k annually in alimony? The family obviously had the means to circumvent the system and secure the care he needed. The mother was in denial and probably had mental health issues of her own.
@@Lisa_MS64 you can’t FORCE treatment on another person, unless they meet strict criteria...
@@lindsaycallahan8075 on a minor? she absolutely should have taken his problems more seriously & sought in patient treatment for her son.
@@lindsaycallahan8075 Correct and even then it’s for a brief amount of time. The laws have to change.
3 loads of laundry a day because he changes his socks often? How many socks are in 3 loads of laundry?!?
At least 4
I wonder if putting and taking off socks were repetitive behavior of ASD or ritual of OCD.
You Never get ALL your socks back after washing & drying.
@@mr.hansholmes2367 black hole in the washing machine - mine anyway 🙂
Frederick Wertella if you’ve got too many of them, you start losing some.
Thank you for trying to view autism from a more neutral, clinical perspective rather than the stereotypes that are usually applied to us [autistic people]. I appreciate it a lot when I view your videos.
@Pill Smith terrible take, being autistic doesn't mean you're completely detached from reality. you can get diagnosed and you can figure it out on your own terms
@Pill Smith who told you that bullshit?
You guys keep killing people for absolutely no reason so I don't know how you can feel entitled to respect. Doc is being way to kind.
FilmBucket autistics are absolutely in their own little worlds. Have you ever tried to hold a conversation with them?
@@SA-wu4lv almost all spree killers and serial killers have been autistic males. If that demographic were to cease to exist a good chuck of the craziness in the world would too. We didn't have weekly shootings when these blockheads were institutionalized.
Dr. Grande's presentation here and in other installments, is articulated clearly and logically. He draws his listeners in with his soft voice and his excellent analyses.
This is legitimately one of my top 5 channels to watch, be entertained by and not feel like the content I'm watching is making me dumber.
Same
same here....i am learning alot and unfortunately, also seeing signs and symptoms in people that i know, which makes me sad.
Absolutely. It is informative and interesting
This one made me uncomfortable because the vast majority of people on the spectrum are more empathetic than they are given credit for with no desire to cause anyone harm.
Yeah honestly he sounds more like a psychopath than any autistic person I've interacted with online including myself.
Nuanced Productions I am thinking there is done unrecognized comorbidity going on. I think he is autistic, but not just autistic.
yes. Absolutely-
EXACTLY, his lack of empathy, his zoned out affect, pedophilia etc and yet his mother gives access to assault weapons.., he had far more wrong than simple spectrum..this is highly unfair to those with autism who would never harm
Yes, absolutely. His autism is being focused on and seems to miss a lot of other issues.
Some observations... The lethal elephant in the living room is Lanza’s access to exponentially lethal weapons. Why attempt to bond to a disturbed child through trips to the shooting range. Why leave an arsenal unsecured? Were there as many trips to a therapist as to the shooting range? Writing about the Sandy Hook massacre in the past, what has stood out in my mind is how Lanza’s extended family seemed to have abandoned him.
👆🏻 this
Lanza was estranged from his father by his mother legally so yeah I'm kind of surprised nobody on his mother's side gave a shit about him
No therapy for how other people treat you because of your looks. If you want the answer of why things like this happen, just read the comments. Combine people treating him like shit his whole life with his psychopathy and at some point you end up with someone gaining power over others in the most violent way.
This is the unfortunate reality of autism of both kinds. Many people don't want to believe it exists except in people that are very low functioning. The idea of someone with autism able to somewhat function in life is foreign to them and they believe that the person is just "weird"
They don't treat them with the care and help that anyone with autism needs, they treat them with contempt and denial for being strange and different.
@JT Raven
As a person who comes from a country with heavily restrictive laws on guns and self-defense I have to say: it's all bullshit and it solves nothing.
Al it does is prevent the good people from defending themselves from criminals and a corrupt government (which all governments are to an extent, ours especially).
Again - actual citizen of an actually heavily restricted county.
Don't bully people, point, laugh and ignore them like they are a plant. Try to be nice. it's not always easy. Try. There are a lot of Adam Lanza people around. He was angry at a system that is unfair. We are NOT all created equal. And there ARE people above the law.
we are all created equal but we are all very different.
Yup. So many of this kinds of situations could be prevented if people actually took the time to care about people's mental health and listen to the warning signs.
Hola from Queretaro.
acajudi100 RUclips
I do not like greedy beggars.
You reap what you sow.
Stay alert.
un
That photo reminds of "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.
same
I'm sorry for laughing 😂
Yes, I couldn't place why his face made me feel uncomfortable 😕. Absolutely a likeness.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Except he's not screaming, it's before the scream.
I know it's 'out of style' these days, but I can't help thinking that he would have been better off if he'd gone into a 'special school' or some other facility. His mother didn't seem to have a clue how to raise/manage a son with so many issues, even when he was a younger child.
And she gave him guns ! WTF.
That’s what I said! It would be better for him to be places in a setting where there’s kids who are alike him.
Mike M and? If my child asked for guns that’s concerning.
@@MikeJones-rk1un Even as a conservative, that should've raised some red flags imo.
i guess nothing about his appearance in photos made her realize there was a situation with her child
I read he had some crazy food habits that lead to him being very malnourished throughout his life. This also probably affected his brain and decision making ability
he was 112 pounds and 6'0' feet tall when he died, he was severely malnourished
@@halcaali and 3 months before death weighed 85 pounds, have you seen the stuff he had in a document? he was anorexic
His lowest weight was 98 pounds, Lanza also wrote his documents that he had a hatred for “fat” people, and a appreciation for “thin” people, he also deemed “thin” people as “graceful and beautiful”, and encouraged people to stop eating. That’s blatant anorexia right there, not to mention, he also played Dance Dance Revolution for up to 12 hours a day, which could probably be some form of over-exercise, a behavior that many anorexics display.
Also, just look at the photos of himself!! He looks so emaciated, he was literally wasting away due to malnutrition and anorexia.
The biopsy of his brain showed it was normal. Also drugs or alcohol in the blood.
So autistic individuals do Mass schuttings?? That's the biggest load of BS
I’m on the autism spectrum and I’m a bit annoyed by the comments. People are treating it like if you are on the spectrum you must be mentally challenged or something. While some on the spectrum are, there are also people on the high functioning end who having perfectly normal intellect, and some who even have higher intellect than most.
Adam is not autistic
@@emiliobello2538Yes he is
A mother acting like everything is OK can be one of the worst things ever...
EDIT: Of course the father is at fault too for not even being there in the first place and it shouldnt all be the mothers responsibility to look after a kids mental well being (its an awful society standard that boys cant really talk to their dads about feelings even if they have a dad in their life). I just wasnt thinking of that when I wrote the comment.
I think she was partially responsible for the murders. She bought those weapons for him ! WTF
Yeah. Blame the mom. Convenient. Until it's you trying to figure out how to deal with something nobody can tell you how to deal with. And nothing you try works.
@@Thundersnowy I get the point but was she trying at all? there was clear neglect here,
she was getting 200,000 in child support. could not have searched some help?
Geez, blame the dead mother when the dad just bailed! No one talks about his responsibility!
@finalgeneration First responders and others going in 1 door and coming out another....milling around then going in again....
= bullshit
Look around my friend... the video is on youtube..
I try not to make judgements based on a person’s appearance but it’s hard not to in this case. Such a tragedy
It's a common misconception that you can't judge someone by the way they look but if you see someone who looks totally out of it they probably are. The trick is to use your best judgement when interacting with new people. If they look fucking insane then run the fuck away.
I look at someone's behavior and how they treat people. It's OK to judge people at times
The other photo doesn't look as horrific, just a typical boy. But yes that one photo is one of the most horrible faces I've ever seen.
His facial features, the protruding ears and elongated face, are common in Fragile X Syndrome. ASD and Fragile X share common features in the way they communicate and interact socially.
You call it a pine tree based on its appearance. Same as calling a car a car. He looked crazy and he was. It is not judgmental it is observational.
Adam Lanza's parents esp. mother really enabled his psychopathy. What parent does multiple loads of laundry daily because the child compulsively puts on new socks all day? To encourage the kid's access to weapons really is unbelievable. It takes denial to a whole new level.
Exactly! I would have said...sorry you're out of clean socks...I guess you can learn how to use the washing machine, wear a pair inside out, or knock it off. If the kid can use a gun, he can operate a washing machine. Case closed.
Yes, making him do his own laundry is EXACTLY what should have happened. He has a compulsion - okay, but that has the consequence of running out of socks. "Therefore, here is what you do to mitigate the issues caused by your compulsion." YOU. The one dealing with the compulsion. Making an issue of it makes the whole problem worse. Instead, the person with the compulsion should have the choice of finding a way around it, or doing the extra laundry.
If the kid can load a gun, he can work the knobs of a washer and dryer!! I also believe his own father is at least 50% to blame; ignoring his son and just sending a check to the ex wife gets a ZERO rating from me in the "dad of the year" survey.
@@Cec9e13 I would also show him the water bill and make him responsible to pay for the excess utility fees.
The guilt she feels must be immense, and that goes without saying.
I cannot stop binge watching your video. So glad I found this channel
You can almost understand (without agreeing with, of course) the motivation behind a high schooler killing the classmates he believed bullied him. But this Lanza guy gunned down a classroom full of first graders. He is absolutely the worst of the worst when it comes to mass killers. What he did was so horrible that here in America we have a whole demographic of halfwits who say the crime never happened.
Oh boy... Welcome to May of 2022
@@Slow_Biden its like a repeat of this
💯💯
@@Slow_Biden It's been a dark month....
This month was supposed to one of celebration, but I can't help but think about the kids and the families affected
They're going through so much that I'm not capable of even understanding....
I wish we could do more than just give out our prayers and condolences, it feels empty now saying that.... it lost its meaning
I’m Howie Mandell. Welcome to Bullshit!
That picture of him in the thumbnail truly gives me chills, it’s so creepy
These completely unbiased, non-judging, neutral and objective observations, no matter how horrific events covered, are such a relief these days. Thanks for your videos. Merry Xmas.
Christmas.
you fr wrote merry fucking christmas under a school shooting video, give yourself a pat on the back
"These completely unbiased, non-judging, neutral and objective observations, no matter how horrific events covered, are such a relief these days. Thanks for your videos. Merry Xmas." - This has to be from one of this channel's shills
@SgtMajorSkull
No. Its because its a neutral analysis without hyperbole, hysterics, or conspiracy theories.
Thats so rare nowadays.
Most people dont understand the diff between fact and opinion or theory.
And you cant talk about an event that has been politicized im some way without a whole bunch of hysterical nutters spouting off in all directions. So yeah, its refreshing.
he is reading a script, that was prepared by others, he can not have gleaned this information from the dead, or government, unbiased for sure, but then the best doctors are right?
because he has a phd attached, is he a god?
The tragedy of this shooting massacre is still so raw, even after 10 years. May the shooting victims rest in peace.😔
As a parent with an autistic child with anxiety, it's tricky to keep a balance between supporting them and keeping them involved in the world, and not pushing too hard and pushing them into mental breakdown, serious OCD, panic attacks etc. Life is a struggle for these kids. I've seen parents manage it different ways, some over-compensating, others under-compensating. That's normal. From your discussion, and my experience of parents, Nancy's parenting seems to be in normal range, but it became explosive because of the interest in violence and the access to guns (maybe in the whole family). I wouldn't tolerate much of that in my home, and know pandering to obsessions didn't help, but I know many - many, many - other parents (and adults in relationship) who don't come down strong with obsessions and disrespectful behaviour. Perhaps because they find it hard to find clarity on what is a loving line to draw. That's normal, so I don't think people should be judgemental about Nancy. She's not even that far out of normal range, if at all, especially in a society that is accepting of guns.
It's tough being a mum without support, and autism radically reduces the amount of support available :
- often school makes life _more_ not less difficult, so it's not supportive (so Nancy needed to withdraw her son from school);
- family backs away, relationships break down under stress (Nancy's relationship breakdown);
- friendships aren't available for the child;
- parenting books, methods, cultural norms don't work.
So it puts a lot of pressure on the support and energy of that one person, the mother, unless the father is genuinely supportive. And then everyone is judging the mother, heightening her stress and lack of support and understanding, adding to the pressure.
Put any woman in that position and she'll struggle.
I'm praying for all women in this position right now.
There is plenty of evidence that he was misdiagnosed. As an adult with Asperger's, don't use Lanza as a guide for your kid.
hRrG4LYA can you recommend who and where to go to get help with a situation like hers. In any state or city and he could take meds for the
Anxiety and the OBC. So that could eliminate some of it. What is available in other words?
Or what would be a good plan for these kids? A beginning of something
Respet care and or what else
Bruce S - I don't know, his issues and the family issues feel familiar
Lori Sutherland - medication helps, but the problem is so deep and difficult, as I described. A caring person who doesn't judge or misinterpret is helpful - eg, in school or a medical setting. But how can this be guaranteed? I think there's a quality of person, like "high conscientiousness" - Dr Grande's term - that is helpful. But many professionals are extremely unhelpful in their understanding and attitude. Many have limited theoretical understanding, which doesn't go deep enough.
For the parent, I would say keep seeking help as you never know when you'll meet a good person. Meantime, keep being warm and loving to your child : they need it. Love doesn't equal doing whatever the child feels they want, because actually what any child wants is to feel safe and contained. That's true. Pandering to personality disorders is not helpful, even though it comes from a loving place. Loving boundaries are important, and these need to be from the heart, in relationship between you and your child. How do you want your home to look, your relationship with your child to look? Work towards that, with little steps, not to traumatise your child, but to guide them to coping with what currently freaks them out. What skills are necessary for them to cope with life? The skill to accept a cuddle is, I think, necessary - but it might not be easy to work towards. (And it's a controversial thing to say, as many will disagree and say they manage without physical contact and it shouldn't be inflicted on children. I disagree.) Love can freak a child out, or a cuddle, so go gently, but don't lose sight of the outcome you're aiming towards. Imho and experience, children need relationships, love and physical contact, and that includes autistic children. I also think physical boundaries from violent behaviour are essential - containing the child, before they get too big, to hold them back from hurting themselves, other people, animals, or belongings. Hold them in your arms and say "I'm not going to let you hurt yourself, me, our pets, or any of our things" or "I'm not going to leave you alone with these difficult feelings, I'm here for you." As they struggle, you hold them. They start to grow more secure in your capacity to take care of them, know a good direction, and be in charge.
Medication helps when the world they're facing is to difficult to face, it can ease fearfulness. So many approaches to autism aren't loving, though. The child may reject love, but they're not actually rejecting love, it's just hard for them. And/or hard for the parent to express love in a healthy way.
There's my thoughts. I very much hope it can help someone.
On motivation: Anger at his mother, who wanted to sell the house (and I read but can't find now, to put him in an institution) and start a new life somewhere else. Whether she planned to institutionalize him or take him with her, the change would have been extremely upsetting to him. Why first-graders? Possibly related to his interest in pedophilia. (He wrote a play about a relationship between a 30yo man and a child, and the FBI found info about pedophilia and rights for pedophiles on his computer and in his room.) Warning signs: According to the FBI report, someone reported to the Newtown Police Department in 2008 (4 yr. before the massacre) that Lanza had said that he planned to kill his mother and children at Sandy Hook with an assault rifle. The report said that Newtown Police Department told this person that there was nothing they could do because the mother owned the guns legally. (Huh? Why not talk to the mother and ask her to remove the guns from their home?) On mothering: Probably the worst mother ever. Instead of helping him learn to socialize, she took him out of school and isolated him further. Knowing his predilection for violent computer games and his anti-social personality, it was absolutely irresponsible for her to give him access to guns. This tragedy is all the worse because it could have been prevented.
Good info! I thought that detail about a 5th-grader writing a story about a gun in a cane was strange. Very strange. Unless, he’d seen The Avengers. The detail about the planned move was discussed on Frontline, during the aftermath.
An unforgettably tragic result of years of denial-don’t agree with Dr. T. it was “a phase.” Ironically, CT is one of the few states which takes mental health seriously; & so viable avenues of help were all around them.
@@ahnraemenkhera7451 google it, it was his project called, "The Big Book of Granny." It was eponymous as Granny was the main, gun-cane carrier.
@@ahnraemenkhera7451 I agree. Even if CT didn't provide resources, she was affluent enough to afford private resources.
Mom kept him home schooled was embarrased by him he withdrew..mom needed to put her firearms in safe place.
Yes but if he still wanted to go ahead with it , he probably would of bought his own firearms when he was of age.
Worst tragedy ...so painfully sad..all those children
Mike M he was no child are you kidding me? Don’t pity a murder.
Weston - by leaving guns around?
@Ozymandias Nullifidian caused by people like you
@Ozymandias Nullifidian nice hypocritical brain you have there. Calling me out gor having a collection of breakout videos because I like watching documentaries when you playlisted a video about Skylar Neese
@Ozymandias Nullifidian also, that's not my only playlist. I'm just not a dumbass like you and I made some of my playlists private. Unlike you who has 40 different playlists all public for me to see.
One thing ive noticed in every school shooting case is that the shooter lacked a connection with their parents. This could be the parent(s) were abusive, ignored the kid or rarley talked to them, a lack of understanding of the child like the parent didn't understand the kid due to autism or other mental illness, or the parents didn't care at all like in lanzas case. A parents connection with a child is very important and if that doesn't exist conbined with other factors like bullying, loneliness, or isolation can create a human timebomb which leads to violence either in murder or suicide
do you have children at the moment?
@@TheFlwildmandid you have parents at any moment?
it's biology, you probably would not understand it
btw, i got ya troll over HERE! right here, you want it?
go back to the video games and don't tamper in things you don't understand
@@Relayzy1
My son had ASD, and he had counseling and School support classes for kids with Autism. He became an excellent student and more outgoing in middle school. He had many friendships in High School and is a perfect student in college with many friends. Although there is still some rigidity and some anxiety, he has come a long, long way.
who cares
@@musictraining5071 I care. It’s great to know that there are parents who help their children receive adequate treatment in order to become successful because of it.
Kudos to you, Ann! Excellent job, Mom!!
@@lorel9371 What does successful even mean, it just means fitting people into boxes they're not made for. modern society is total BS
@@lorel9371 treatment for what? for stuff like ADHD and autism. half of the time it's hardly a "disease" that needs treatment. society needs to shove it. either they get off their "rigid thinking" or they let it be. i for my parts i'm glad i'm not socialized in this insane society.
@@musictraining5071 Successful in this case, means that Ann raised a son who didn’t kill a bunch of kids or educators. That’s success to me.
Your warped sense of what you perceive people believe success is, doesn’t apply to me. You make negative, distorted assumptions. Seriously though, who cares?!?
If there are simple things to take away from this, they may be: Be invested in your child's day to day life; Early intervention with mental health makes a big difference.
I am autistic myself, and earlier in life around 20-21 I got in trouble with the law for threatening to harm someone. Going back over that period and my childhood now, as a mature adult with good hindsight and insight, there were many signs that I was not developing to normal milestones and that I was having problems with mental health. A theme I had and have seen in some other Autistic males is hiding away from the world and escaping into fantasy and video games, and I was doing this myself as a teenager. It likely led to some of the arrested social development as I was not engaging socially and developing the learned behaviours I would need to survive and thrive socially. I also had Anxiety and Depression, and what I now understand to have been a moderate to severe form of Derealization disorder. The Anxiety (GAD), Depression, Derealization, and escapism was almost certainly a means to cope with a dysfunctional home life (my parents marriage broke down, they were fighting regularly, and my brother had some kind of behavioural problema and likely had/has paranoid personality disorder and was unpredictably unsafe to be around). Also I was severely and violently bullied to the point I survived what I suspect was an attempted murder. I had a sense something was different about me, that the peers around me were moving on in a way I failed to grasp and I needed to grow in the same way, that I needed help, but the world was far too scary to engage in and it was easier to hide away like I was, and when I had tried speaking up about myself or things happening at home it was brushed off or I was treated as a "weak man" by Adults outsode the family. I think my Father did sense something was amiss and tried to get help but was brushed off too. The criminal incident itself was in a welfare office and I had threatened my welfare case manager, there was a combination of immediate things (requiring me to take an "employment course", which from experience did nothing but reinforce negative views about the unemployed, and this was the fifth course they had demanded I take, also I was involved with a "fake friend" I had not identified as toxic at the time who was messing with my head, also I was in a casual weekend job where I was belittled and treated like crap), and long term issues unaddressed (continuing conflict in the home, parents, though now split, resentful of me and antagonistic over still living with them instead of acknowledging something was wrong), and lack of getting help for me even with major warning signs by this point (I had suggested once that things would be better if I just topped myself). I was angry at my family, my situation, what the world have given me (or not given me) so far, and I seemed to hae thought "fuck it, you're all treating me like shit so I have permission to treat you all like shit" which is how I did what I did.
The good news was, once I was interrogated and shown the victim's impact statement, a conscientious part of me kicked in and I broke down in remorse having realized what I had put another human being through, and the policeman realised I was genuine and something was wrong here. I got psychiatric evaluation which led to treatment for anxiety and depression and a suspended sentence with probation, and the treatment helped immensely. I later moved away from family, it was a struggle being on my own but things became much more stable. I wasn't diagnosed with ASD until later though, after several misdiagnoses by professionals using outdated tests or not understanding the condition properly.
Today I am reasonably well adjusted, and have caught up developmentally. I underwent an intensive 6-month psychotherapy treatment addressing my childhood, which led to me having serious conversations with my parents about how they raised me, and from there we have developed constructive relationships. I tried to reconcile with my brother but he still has his own mental health issues and refuses treatment so I have to keep my distance. I'm having to live off disability support in my country, I've attempted to move towards a more normal life like moving to cities with more opportunities and starting new careers, but these efforts have not worked out long term, also I have worked on my friendships and attempted relationships, but being comfortable very much my own company I don't have many friends and haven't found a compatible partner. However I have the values, insight, conscientiousness and adjustment to not go down this path again. If I did have one wish, it was if I could do something to help others in these circumstances, so that they have support and do not go through the pain I lived in my childhood.
Thank you for sharing your story. So proud of the progress you've made. I wish you all the best in the future.
Oh man, cheers to you good sir! May you find blessings and happiness in your life!
You are doing great! Happy to hear you working through stuff! Good luck in your future endeavours!
God bless you.
Thank you, Dr. Grande, for your insightful comments. The society needs mechanisms to prevent or minimize such crimes.
Thank you for covering the psychology of Lanza, most work done on this case is tearjerking pertinent to the victims, which is important but I think we need to look at the minds of these criminals as well and their background to hopefully avoid tragedies in the future.
I couldn’t stop crying when I read about the 4 year boy old who died in his teacher’s arms when she was trying to shield him from the bullets.
Omg how sad! 😭 thank god the teacher was there. 🙏🏻❤
...just what the media wanted... got em!!
@Derek K what exactly did "the media " want? Rather silly comment.
@@ClickClack_Bam definitely the Alex Jones motivation
@@diannt9583 Yeah, he wanted to get sued, you clown.
It's simple, he entered adulthood and was aware enough to know he'd never have anything approaching a fulfilling adult life. This kind of knowledge tends to lead to bad outcomes. I should know, i've also been deemed to have Asperger's and i've made it to 45 somehow. The difference with me is i cannot imagine harming others. Myself is another matter.
@Xi Jinping stfu
@Xi Jinping - how high are you right now?
Beautifully written. Being self aware of how different and how you’ll never be “normal” is tragic.
Same thing happened to the Virginia tech shooter. He looked at the future and it wasn't bright
That really sucks
I hope that these types of stories can demonstrate how important it is for children to be assessed and given the best treatment options for any mental or developmental differences or delays they have.
His mother definitely enabled his illness. My step mother does the exact same thing with my brother and I will forever resent it.
I wish Dr. Grande would do an analysis of Dr. Grande...
I literally just had that thought then saw your comment
A total psychopath.
Inception.
He won't diagnose him, just speculate on what could be happening in a situation like this. Lol😂
@@msgrl4254 And his Columbine one is filled with inaccuracies. An evaluation based on bad facts,, flawed from the start.
im in the spectrum and i can't even believe how killing isn't extremely overstimulating and exhausting
I am too but I have to say I’m confused by what you’re saying. Extra words and the double negative have me confused. So you can’t believe it isn’t over stimulating and exhausting? Care to reiterate
@@screwmuckduck8905 i dont see how i use double negatives? think i couldn't have put it more plainly and straightforward
@@endorfiene7457 sometimes I understand what people are saying, and sometimes I can’t. You can’t even believe how killing isn’t extremely over stimulating and exhausting? So you believe how killing IS extremely over stimulating and exhausting? Or was there a typo? What was your point if you could rephrase it?
@@screwmuckduck8905 yes i believe it would be extremely over stimulating and exhausting
@@screwmuckduck8905 keep in mind english is not my native language
Adam's father, Peter, believed his son, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s, was also likely an undiagnosed schizophrenic. See the New Yorker interview of 3/17/2014.
That was a fascinating article!
People who are disabled and in pain need to be loved not neglected. 😿
Most disabled people are quite gentle and kind. This was unusual.
I am convinced he was misdiagnosed. It is very common for Asperger's and schizophrenia. Schizophrenia changes about the age of 20. When do these school shootings occur? There is no evidence that any of them had Asperger's
J Guenther do they have mental Health facilities to put people in when they don’t take their meds and become unsafe to themselves and others? Why not the psych ward for a month.? Maybe retrain mom on how to deal cause she let him get by and she had no training on how to deal with it.
@@lorisutherland7728 It is extremely difficult to commit someone who doesn't want to be hospitalized. I do not believe Nancy Lanza could have gotten her son committed, if that was her intent.
I love dr Grande, his monotone salutation is so gentle it never bothers me the way most Yt videos clown about PRESSUNG THE LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, PATREON....on and on, nope wont watch them a second time vs dr, G., so gentle, u obtrusive i want to support him on patreon. His videos also PACK-IN the facts! So many that are missed by other channwls! Ivw seen many storiea dr G has done on other channels am nearlt always blown away by how much MEAT he packs into each show! No puffy word salad for thw Dr. Just the MEAT! Respect his wirk a lot. THANK YOU G
The media has completely missed the mark on how they described this gunman. He attended Sandy Hook Elementary as a child. I think there was a strong association between his mental health disorders and where his identity developed in relation to not only his attachment style with his own caregivers but the contrast and reinforcement he experienced probably starting in Elementary school. I cannot believe the negligence in what happened though. Makes me so angry that this could have been prevented with a little common sense.
@@antivalue where did u here that???
What role does his father play in all of this? I think understanding the relationship of his parents is important. His dad leaves and sends money and...??? That’s it? His father must have been aware that something wasn’t right with Adam. And was Nancy enabling Adam before the father left? Why did his father (Peter) leave? I am troubled by so much blame being laid on Nancy, although it certainly a degree of blame is warranted. What about Peter’s role? Surely a boy’s relationship with his father has an impact on the kid. Just saying.
yes, right on. Nancy was left alone to deal with the severely sick child. The Executive Father just took off so he did not have to deal with Adam. I can imagine how exhausted Nancy was.
Thank you for this comment! It seems as if in cases like this everyone's always debating the mother's responsibility (and rightfully so), but it's so unfair how noone seems to feel the desire to confront the fathers who just stole away before desaster struck. When a child is born into a relationship, the responsibility doesn't automatically shift to the mother alone!
Cyd Kriletich what about places just for spectrum long term places?
Sorry Dr. G. but this presentation sounds like mother blaming.
@@ladybug1246 With $250,000 a year in alimony plus child support, the mother could not afford to hire some help ? She was a WEALTHY woman.
I read the supposedly official report, which said Mom tried therapy several times, but stopped because it was like "pure torture" for Adam, and was frustrating. Also, Dad tried many times to visit Adam as a minor and adult, but Adam refused. Also, when Adam was in High School, he didn't have to follow the same rules as his peers. Once, a gym teacher told him to do something. He said he didn't have to. He took it to the Principal, who asked the gym teacher to apologize!
In other words spoiled
Well they were accommodating him but also freaked out by him as was referenced by one teachers email when she found out that he would be in one of her classes. A lot of people were aware that he was an exceptional weirdo and was even studied at Yale University.
Honestly what this kid needed is a good job to keep him occupied and over time he would have most likely warmed up and his dark thoughts would turn into bright ones.rhats what I think anyway
@@wingedhussar1453 mental health is not that easy. It’s different when the brain is “hurt” because is invisible, unlike a physical accident. I find that some people tend to think is a matter of therapy or medication or to occupy the mind in other stuff. Truth is defective brains do not work like that and some people belong permanently in a mental health institution, because its true that you never know what someone is actually thinking, severe mental health issues make these people absolutely dangerous. More unpredictable than the average person.
@@lob1248 sure but him being stuck in his room in his own head did not help at all.him getting out getting a job and maybe meeting new ppl would surely help from whatever thing he was stuck in
He looks scary and creepy no offense but the most bone chilling part is how parallel this is to Salvdor ramos since they both shot a family member first, followed by driving a vehicle alone to/near the school and similar number of casualities
And both were Taurus
Salvdor Ramos was a psychotic transsexual, that suffered from a vast assortment of sexual dysphorias, sexual identity conflicts, and anger because she was what he was
the furthest thing from an young Autistic boy, that probably did not think of sex at all
i find it amusing how so many people can find the threads if the scenario is played near the same. it is amazing what people will buy as truth these days, hey if it worked once!
Kip Kinkel killed his parents beforehand and is a Virgo. Zodiac signs are not significant to mental illness. I’m a Taurus, I own several firearms. Not once have I ever considered using them for malicious intent.
@@a.t.hustle1583 fBi is warming to you
@@jonesmorales-tu6kq Probably
It is downright horrifying that he had access to firearms.
He didn't. He never existed. You are operating out of fear, bad idea.
@@hanselmansell7555 No, but nice try. Going to have to do better than that.
@@sirbader1 Qtard lol
@@sirbader1 do you think Bill gates is turning the frogs gay using chem trails as well lmao
And also that he was let loose on the public.
Even as a kid in the middle/high school photos, the dude had the “crazy eyes.”
True. It's just a giant shit sandwich, it's awful. Domino effect of bad decisions and poor judgement by his mom which lead to that day. Even if she didn't have any firearms, he obviously wasn't getting the help he needed.
Crazy eyes are highly correlated with high psychopathy. Stay away from people with eyeballs like that. Adam Shiff, EOC, and Charlie Manson just to name a few.
His eyes are empty. He is a machine.
@@markhardy455 my ex husband.... I called him shark eyes... They were dead inside.
He had bad luck with the timing of the shots
He needed an intact and healthy, close family loving him and guiding him. For all intents and purposes, he was abandoned.
@S. Labouisse I bought a brand new turban, I bought a brand new shank.
Stfu, why do women go so far with the empathy? I noticed this on the soft white underbelly channel too. He wasn't abandoned, he was enabled. As far as we could tell, his family did love him, his mom especially so, he just wasn't capable of feeling emotions and didn't want any help
I rather dislike and disagree with bringing up violent movies and video games in any case. If there were any significant correlation between those and violent behavior, these incidents would be far more common among the general population in addition to those with mental health disorders.
It's never easy seeing that picture. I took karate with his older brother, talked with his mom a lot when she would come to pick him up. She was a nice lady, (at least on the surface with her public face). Met Adam a few times... just stood there silently... never looked you in the eye... and he always had that "blank" look in his eyes (if he allowed you to even get much of a glimpse). Had you asked me anything about him, only thing I'd really have been able to say is that he looked almost exactly like his brother to the point that the genetic probability of such a similarity (at such a drastic age difference) was just crazy to contemplate, and (due to his silence) was his most stand-out feature.
We're never gonna know _everything_ about why he did it (Dr. Grande doesn't even talk about how Adam showed up at the school days before he shot it up, there was CLEARLY a "fixation" thing going on). Those kids, their parents, families of the teachers/adults, that whole town, and everyone who experienced it will never get full closure. I'll tell you this, the bullying culture in Sandy Hook School IS actually strong. I've always suspected that being part of the equation since he was fixated on the school WAY BEYOND his time in it. The teachers in that school at that time (when he attended) did an absolutely horrendous job at identifying when an individual was being bullied, let alone ever acted on it to stop it... so it doesn't surprise me to hear them say "nothing was seen/reported". Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that they even resorted to publicly shaming him in front of his peers as a way to try and "motivate" him to change his behaviors. (keep in mind, that is speculation based on first hand experience with THAT SPECIFFIC school system and school itself). There's never been any other reason that came to mind to explain why he was there and why he did it. If he's writing that story about the gun cane in 5th grade for an assignment... and Sandy Hook School was k-4... then you're gonna tell me he was feeling THAT much rage at THAT age and wasn't getting bullied? Bullshit. I'd be willing to bet that he was relentlessly bullied AND was incessantly invalidated/ignored/abandoned by authority when it came to addressing it (IF he brought it up considering how silent and shut off he was)... it was a common experience for many. The "weird kids" were picked on the worst BECAUSE they were easy targets for all the other kids to use as "community punching bags".
The other fucked up thing about that day was CNN jumping the gun before ALL of the details were gathered. Adam took his brother's ID with him, and Ryan was originally named as the one who did it. One of our mutual friends even ended up having to talk to the media because of a stupid comment on an image posted to Ryan's Facebook account... not only did that fucker end the lives of innocent children, people who jumped in the way to try and save their lives, and his own mother, but he dragged his own brother into it as well in a way that constituted a "fuck you, deal with this".
It's fucked up seeing that picture
Wow. Your insight is fascinating. Hope your area has taken a strong stance on bullying. Hope people could at least learn a lesson and get something from this awful thing.
So sorry you experienced this. Hope you and your family and community are well now. Hope you all found or will find peace.
@@stevenpaplan7154 I wouldn't want to move back to that town, that's for sure. You have former school bullies on the police force... and very strange inner-circles of a few families that have been there for absolutely ever... and more than it's fair share of fucked up occurrences (and i probably have no clue as to how many things happened in the 80s/90s).
- The woodchipper stuff in Fargo was based off a real murder in Newtown from the 80s.
- Way too many teachers in student sex scandals (3 just within my time living there).
- As with most "wealthy white suburban towns", heroine and cocaine are somehow a crazy big issue that is able to persist amongst a heavy police presence, and MANY kids OD'd.
- As far as I've heard there's no explanation for this next thing (and i don't know if it is still happening), but there is clearly SOME organization in the High School that is engaging in a hazing ritual of making a person run mostly naked, with their hands bound, on the side of the road, only to make them squat in the bushes is cars drive by. I was told about it from someone who described what they saw, and then I actually witnessed it for myself one night.
Not to intentionally rob you of hope, but i doubt that that town has learned it's lesson. The narcissistic helicopter parents that want to be all up in your business if you aren't giving them the results that they desire, despite attempts to use logic with hem, are neglecting the actual needs and healthy development of their children in hopes to creating ideological/behavioral clones of themselves... and there is clearly a culture of "abandon the child until it falls in line" going on amongst the "adults", who all seem to use the same blame-shifting method of pointing to mistakes or the effects of abuse as justifications for being overly harsh.
Frankly, Dr. Grande should do a whole episode (maybe series) on Boomer narcissism and how it has affected the culture/country on multiple levels... starting with how they abused their kids due to their conditioned fear responses from Cold War era propaganda.
@@GreenH0cker @Hocker interesting. I couldn't agree with you any more about the boomers. All over the world they're holding back progress basically.
I dont know, your town sounds like a normal place honestly. Cops are that way everywhere, drugs are bad all over, teachers sleep with students, towns go through murders, hazings of sorts happen. Granted, your example is a bit extra, especially for, high school aged kids I'm assuming.
But Adam's story is super extreme..... maybe he wasnt bullied? Autism effects everyone differently. Maybe he was just going through something, and yeah, got fixated on the school for some reason.
I dont understand why he was allowed to have guns in the first place.
It's just really sad at the end of the day. If one child family was grieving that would be devastating. I cant imagine the scene for all those families.
It's like you grew up in a stephen king novel. Except a little more dark and twisted.
Fascinating talking to you.
Not to say he wasn't bullied. I would trust your judgement above most.... but does anyone really know? Maybe they do. And you would probably know the ones that di
@@stevenpaplan7154 no, i'm a bit older than him, around his brother's age... no idea who, and did admit that it's just been a suspicion based first hand knowledge of the school and culture within it.
And yea, Newtown sounds a bit like "IT". It's definitely not like its the only place that's like that, but there's an interesting concentration of it. The woman who wrote Hunger Games is from there too, if that's any indication of how dark a person's mind can get while living there.
Has anybody ever watched Bates Motel on Netflix? Norma basically ignored her sons mental health issues, made excuses for his actions, and gave into whatever Norman wanted. Even though his brother was telling him HEY!! Norman needs help. I feel like that’s exactly how Adams mother was...just completely pushed her sons needs aside.
Mother of the year.
I think Dr. G doesn’t want to admit that he’s played hours of Dance Dance Revolution, the way he pretends he’s never heard of it. 😀
LMBO!
@@debrajones7344 laughing my butt off?
@@topnug7626 Yep.
You guys!...
Great observation! I believe you are 100% correct.
Unfortunately people do these things to show how bad they are feeling. They literally take you to "the place they are in." I just wish they'd ask first if one wanted to go. R.I.P those poor souls.
Dumbest thing I've ever read on a medical practitioner's forum.
@@Sal-uh5pc Well coming from a well groomed scholar, could you please elaborate on why?
One question. Why did his mom give him access to any weapons? I will never understand.
F... ing disgusting, isn't it ?
Because she is a diehard republican
His mother drove him to heinous crimes against humane behaviors. Unempathetic parents. The family were super rich have no excuses for ignorant abuse of power. They deep down knew what was brewing.
I know a lot of people who have lots of guns..... every gun is stored in a large metal gun SAFE.... unloaded and many taken apart for safety... the children do not have the ability to get into the safe.....
This mother failed her child by having guns around a mentally unstable child
Yes and it was early reported there was a safe, as she was some type of shooting sports enthusiast. But why Adam had complete access isn't known. I totally agree. And unfortunately, tragically, it wasn't just her own child at stake.
Lisbeth Bird - a sports enthusiast - what sport do you need semi-automatic weapons for?!
@@sherunswithscissors What do you need access to the internet for? What criminal plans do you have?
@@sherunswithscissors hunting for food is now a sport... some places have to hunt down the wild pigs because they are destroying property but more importantly they will attack children. Gun enthusiasts like to test their skills, ... different guns different skills...
@@sherunswithscissors right.
You should do a video on the mental health and personality factors of those who actually believed this was a hoax. Their were people harassing families and demanding to see their children's corpses as that would be the only evidence they would believe. The parents refusals were PROOF it was a hoax. How sick does a person have to be to do that?
He should do a video on people that believe everything they see on tv and never question anything.
@@kellyramsey5486 Are you actually Alex Jones? Dr. Grande's already done a video about you, so....
Levi, yes, I believe I read that those harassers were inspired by an entertainer called Alex Jones. I had never heard of him until the Newtown incident.
@@bluecollarlit
Wrong.
Alex and Halbig were late in the game.
See a fraction of the dirt on my tiny, no production channel.
Download and study the report.
Carson Lee Alex Jones believed the sandy hook story. Jeez. Simple facts. Can’t imagine you dealing with the harder stuff.
“A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” - African proverb
and also, why are schools so sh*t at noticing when pupils have problems? My eldest almost without a doubt has ADHD. All I get from the school is that "we know how it presents in girls". Maybe they do, but they are not going to provide any help unless she starts smashing up the classroom.
Why I left education 😃🙂
Why would you not advocate for your child if you know or suspect something is wrong with them or they are having problems in school? Schools don’t DIAGNOSE ADHD, your child’s doctor does.
I’m a teen with ASD and autism. I don’t condone anything he did. But unfortunately I understand him more than I’d like. I wish I didn’t but we aren’t all that lucky
I am on the Spectrum and went through life not knowing it. When I was growing up autism wasn't really A thing and parents would be too humiliated to admit such a thing or get you help. Teachers would try and tell my mom that something was wrong with me and she would get offended. I would struggle in school because I couldn't stand the sound of A chalk board. I plugged my ears the entire time the teacher gave the lecture. When the work came I had no idea what to do. I also couldnt stand the sound of Pencil on paper. You might as well break my bones. My whole life has been A lonely and unusual struggle. I thought I was retarded up until I was around 20. Got married and my wife hated me A few months in. I tried explaining to her that whatever connects people socially I don't seem to have it. I would watch groups of people socializing and enjoying it and couldn't understand the thread that was tying it all together. I have endured constant ridicule for being different and basically just work and walk this life alone. Don't hate humanity, just dislike people. It has never occurred to me to kill people. I personally dont like that his Murder is subtley tied to his autism. People struggle enough with ridicule and bullying for being different. I have A daughter who is Autistic and when I heard that she sits alone at A table by herself at lunch time it shattered me.
Yes it's extremely rough being autistic :/ I suffer from Aspergers as well, I can understand the pain you went through. Being socially ridiculed for being different or awkward is hard, I haven't been married and don't have a daughter but I have dated. The social distance between me and my girlfriend is obvious, we lack chemistry in everyday activities that other couples enjoy. I can feel that our lack of chemistry is driving her away in the bedroom and in our relationship it has created a lot of distance. Dating can be hard without proper empathy so you can tease and play around affectivley, diffuse tention, and sense moods so you can live harmoniously with your partner. I think you're a great father for your autistic daughter because you know what it's like to be awkward and different.
Your wife didn’t know these things about you when she married you?
Wow. you don't feel anger at others having what you want? envy and anger are natural parts of being human
That's what happens to kids who are different. It is hell and they can never recover.
@@AD-cc7bj thats what im wondering lol.
The fact that people deny this really happened is terrifying. Denial of such events won't make them stop.
Youre the one we're worried about. Your critical thinking skills are sub Par and you shouldn't be allowed to vote. Let me guess...your voting for Biden?
"We need to talk about sandy hook" is something you should probably watch.
@@themodsify I watched it and it's a lot of nothing. I suggest you do actual research and read 'The sheltered storm'. Nothing wrong with critical thinking, but it's plain obvious there is nothing mysterious about the attack itself.
@@arutzuki2491 BS. I did do the research. It was all acting.
How could he not tolerate so many senses but he was able to drive, shoot, shoot while tolerating chaos, etc etc
He did wear earplugs during the day of the shooting.
and play DDR in a mall for hours, i thought he was socially awkward and shy??? Yet he goes to a mall. I don't even like to do that and I am "normal''.
@@subrosian1234 Ha. Hahaha. Hahahaha.
Because this is 100% a psyop. How do you get citizens to beg you to take their guns? Simple, tell them someone shot some kids. Nobody find it odd the number of killed v wounded is so lopsided? Usually its x3 wounded, but this dudes KD was like 20/1? And he was that weird? I don't think so.
What? Shot his mom with a bolt action 22 when he had AR15s and semi auto Saiga shotguns? Wtf? A Glock 20 10mm? Thats like the most powerful Glock they make. Gtf outta here.
Adam Lanza was a very intelligent coherent boy. I was shocked when I heard him on a radio call. He had no trouble communicating and forming intelligent thought. He was calling in about a monkey that attacked and ripped face off that lady.
Nuh uh
yeah I forget the specifics of the conversation, but it was an analysis about how the chimp who ripped that lady's face off was reacting to being isolated and he was sympathetic to the chimp. He must have felt the same way, because he spoke extemperaniously about other aspects of our society and it was really a shock. I recall he used vocabulary that I woiuld never expect from even a college graduate. He has portrayed as some kind of silent autistic gun loving retard and he was very insightful. Not sure what his issue was with that school or if it was randome against society. It's worth looking back on people who were so desperate to do things like this. Kazynski was determined NOT to have the insanity defense. He wanted to change society. Looking back at the Unabombers manifesto, after the facebook big tech data mining and J6, his trancendental life philosophy seems more cogent now, as Adam Lanza's analysis of the chimp. I find them both more intelligent than idiots blocking the highway for global warming. @@jaybobdoodles
ape not monkey
@@PlateletRichGel travis the xanax chimp
Thank you for covering this sensitive subject in a professional and informative fashion.
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🤦♂️
"He avoided eye contact"
I'm gonna have to punch X and doubt my brotha
LMAOO FR
Your username makes me absolutely giddy with fangirly glee! 😁
👁👁
👀
his face literally looks like this O-O
watching this really disturbed me, because a lot of the description of Lanza's life and traits are shockingly similar to me. Save for the murdering part,
It’s matching a description of this guy who I’ve been in a school with since middle school....except this guy was extremely shy but extremely aggressive, and obsessed with hitler. We do not have good history together.
Don't let it cause you to become upset or self-deprecating.
There's always one thing separating good people who happen to be autistic or socially awkward like you and I from evil bastards like Lanza: we wouldn't even CONTEMPLATE a terrible crime of this nature.
Ask questions of what actually happened. A security expert on schools named something like Mr. Wolfgang Halbig asked many questions, but did not receive clear answers. He made a list of questions and he said that he did not get a clear answer to most of them if not all of them. There are very unusual issues not resolved.
@@Eric-ys8do I wouldn't go so far as to say he was evil, he was enabled from a very young age. He was molded into that. It was nature and nurture, an evil person is something entirely different. What he did was evil though.
@@ROCKDEES1 ofc everybody is able to do both good and evil. but he became evil when he chose to do the unspeakable, repulsive crime that he did
I appreciate you analyzing this case. I'm on the spectrum and have OCD. Without medication and therapy my OCD really does take over. However, I am very aware when my thoughts/actions are not "normal" and can be hyper-empathetic (though I don't always know how to properly show that I care or can relate)
check out jack kruse
He had a thousand yard stare his entire life, he moved and spoke like a robot, had to practice human facial expressions like smiling in the bathroom mirror. Something went wrong in utero. He never had a chance of being normal.
He DID have a chance to be normal. His mother was that chance. She could have taken his access to her guns away, pure common sense! But she became his enabler instead. She could have got him therapy. She could have stopped facilitating even greater isolation. She could have taken a stand!
@@Indusxstan She did take a stand. For the NRA.
He DID have a chance to be functional if not normal. However he never recieved 1. Mental health analysis and treatment 2. Medications 3. Structured environment and appropriate guidance/limitations.
@Lola Montez yeah a think he Made everything difficult for those around him... I don't blame his parents, it's very difficult to obligate somebody to do something they don't want to do
Sounds like just did a line of ket LOL
Sometimes the way we nurture our children shapes who they are. His father didn’t necessarily hide the factor that he wanted a different kind of son. I’m not excusing his behavior but most parents are their child’s first bully .
Valerie Rodger then they should parent and not move away from their child as his father did.
That last line is a powerful way of putting it.
Wel said
My story of the day (sorry, it’s a bit long and wordy):
The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone and somehow our light, casual convo ended up taking a huge detour into the “get ready for a possible fight” zone! Uh oh! 😬 🤦🏻♀️ I usually don’t fight with my mom anymore (y’all, I’m 41 y/o, ffs! lol), but still!! It’s my mom!! 🤷♀️
Anyways...Mom somehow ended up misunderstanding something I said, and she took it EXTREMELY personally to the point that she was becoming increasingly upset. I tried explaining to her what I had REALLY meant, but she wasn’t having any of it, so I guess my lovely subconscious decided to step in by making me spew out these exact words:
“Mom, I wasn’t SAYING you actually said and did that, yada, yada, yada...all I was doing was merely SPECULATING on what could happen in a situation like this...” 😲
What followed next was a very brief, but definitely noticeable, intense silence on my mom’s end of the phone, and just as I started to cringe a bit, she said something along the lines of: “Thanks for clarifying that, honey. I’m so sorry... I really overreacted.” (sans sarcasm, too)!
Sooooo, still in major shock (of course) at her reply, (and myself also a bit taken aback/slightly perplexed at what had just taken place here) I was like:
“Wai-...what?!” 🥴 WTH just happened?! I think I blinked and missed most of it! My mom has NEVER, EVER just politely dropped something like that disagreement with me or anybody else! Those will now be my “magic words” !! We chatted a few more minutes, totally changing the previous subject, and then said our usual loving goodbyes before hanging up.
Major disaster prevented!
A HUGE Thank You to you, Dr. G! 🙏
Dr. Grande improved your life!! I feel the same way about him, and I'm sure many of us do! Thank You, Dr. Grande for your thoughtful and educated insight.
@Gigi Yes, he most certainly did!! I’m so thankful for his channel too! I bet he’s a really difficult therapist to get an appointment with! 😊
Our country is very oriented on preserving individual rights and freedoms. A better system has to be put together to try harder to prevent these horrible happenings that make zero sense to anyone but the person who has snapped
there are good reasons they don't resonate the same with all of us.
critical thinking and logic needs to be engaged before the emotional triggers are pulled
there is a lot more to this, that simply does not do simply.
I think he might had been extremely difficult to live with, so people took the easy low resistence path with him ...
“People”=his mom