My parents and my ex. He didn’t want me to work out because I’d leave. He didn’t want me nice going out without him. He didn’t want me to go to school. My mother was happy when I lost my home and told me to go to a homeless shelter. Would make fun of me for taking my daughter to school because she thought she was too good to ride the bus. Toxic people everywhere. It’s lonely and it hurts when people you love want you to suffer. I only hope what they gave me they get back ten fold.
Mine too.and why then do we love them is the question. Or who do we love coz they are not who we thought they are .we need to walk our own path not follow them coz we feel we are a team
I'm so sorry! I don't wish anything bad on my ex. I am comfortable with the knowledge that Karma WILL come for him. I don't have to see it to know it. He's in the past and will stay there. Take care of you!
I was with my husband for 37 years before leaving in 2018. He would always sabotage me when ever I was getting ahead. When I stopped drinking he would leave a glass of wine sitting out in plane view. He was very uncomfortable with me finally getting sober. He was there when the doctor told us both that if I didn't stop drinking I would die. It got to the point in my marriage where I had to do everything in secret .
@@Rodderz1 I feel for you. I was in that situation for 19 years, though I probably only realized it for 15. It was just a neighbor -- just a neighbor that ended up rigging my car to explode five years after I want no contact. Only another former target of hers who moved across the country believes me because she's everybody's "friend." I've had to cut ties I didn't want to cut and probably won't feel entirely safe until I leave the state and I'm able to hide my whereabouts for good. Whatever you decide, be careful and know that this stranger will hold you in her prayers. PS EMDR therapy is amazing stuff, as is learning about ancient civilizations and ancient wisdom. You hold more power than you know, and certainly more power than they want you to know. Matt LaCtoix and Billy Carson got me started and my new favorite is Gregg Braden. They're all on RUclips. BTW, I did and still do believe in God. If you hear something you find offensive, you probably need to do as I did and listen more to understand that they still believe in a God, too. (The ancient tablets refer to more than one "god," but that's probably how those beings were seen.) If I can start over, alone and broke at 63, you've got this! You and God, who truly lives within all of us. BTW, you may never have an attempt on your life. I think the only reason she wanted me gone was because I warned her other victim. She needed a new victim and was afraid I was in the way.
3:37 Not to mention, it's a type of projection too. A narcissist will think that you'll leave them when you level up when really that is something that they'd do. Plain and simple as that.
I certainly felt like being married to my ex held me back in many ways. I felt like I would’ve been further in life if it wasn’t for being with him. Especially since I was helping him out. He was a bum, couldn’t keep a job, didn’t always have money. Leaving was the best decision. I feel like nothing is in the way now!
Before I started college I purposely blocked all narcissists and I even quit a high paying job because I knew all those narcissists, my narc boss, my narc family especially all my cousins, etc., would try to stop me. I literally took all of 2020 to get rid of these narcissists. Then I secretly started college in 2021. I am so grateful for your channel because you have guided me through the process in dealing with narcissists for years. So thank you very much. I got my Associates Degree in peace.
Mine would sabotage anything positive I did…to the point he’d even steal household cleaning & personal hygiene products I purchased…just so I couldn’t do normal, everyday tasks. But then he’d turn around & abuse the s#*% outta’ me for ‘not cleaning’, etc… Unbelievable.
@@roberts.valkyrieNPD is not curable... He doesn't care if we succeed, he cares that his channel succeeds and by proxy we can get something out of that.
Same here. I get asked 'how did you do that? You have never succeeded with anything' I am actually higher educated than them in my field and have worked very hard for 20+ years. Just didn't share my accomplishments with them because I knew very well how they would react
I just finished my training classes. And he filed for custody. Like why didn’t he do this before so I could go ahead with my new job?!?! Now I can’t accept any jobs for months because I have to stay here for court.
If he didn’t want me to leave him, he screwed up big time. I left because he kept sabotaging me. He made his fear come true. After 32 years he told me, “I love you but I am not in love with you.” That was a wrap for me.
This is EXACTLY how I felt... she encouraged me in one hand and then held me back in the other... always felt like i was trying to succeed with both hands tied behind my back because she wanted me to make a success of myself but in the way SHE wanted... wasn't allowed to work with females, didnt' like me travelling for work, didn't want me doing too much exercise, said I spent too much time with my kids (I'm a single parent!!).. it was like I was being moulded unnaturally but even then nothing felt good enough and I felt like I made zero progress... since going no contact, everything is lighter in my life and progress is now tangible! They are truly wolf in sheep's clothing
Some of them dont want you to succeed because they didn't or dont think they would like toxic parents who thinks its too late for them they cant stand you shinning
I was having serious allergic reactions to something. Couldn’t figure out what it was. After seeing several specialist and having to go on a strict elimination diet I discovered the culprit - a favorite food of mine. Of course after I figured it out, I shared with my friend what was found. Though it was difficult I was successful in keeping away from the food and was obviously recovering. Then one day this “friend” texts me that she is dropping off a gift at my home after going to a restaurant with some other friends. Guess what was in the bag? You guessed it. That food. Although it shouldn’t have been the first noticeable red flag, it was the first one that caught my full attention and the beginning of my awareness. Anyone else have a similar experience?
I just experienced this‼️ I started a new job with the federal govt a close friend hooked up for me. I was so excited when my background check was returned as favorable. There was a rush to get me onboarded right away. There was a power struggle when it was time for me to leave his house to get ready for work. He’d whine and beg me to stay. (He’s supposedly and “entrepreneur”). I pay close attention to situations, word choices, and intentions. I’m not convinced he wants me to succeed on HIS terms; I can’t allow that to happen.
Saddest part is your absolutely right thank you for your videos they make me feel not as alone in dealing with all this I've been gone for 8 months a week no contact now trying to stay strong
Hi Lee. I resonated with this video even though I've been divorced for several years. During my marriage, my ex-spouse would try to sabotage me in many ways. He would try to block me from going to the gym. He tried to block me by talking me out of looking for a new job. He would try to block me from having friends within our neighborhood or at the workplace. Basically, anything that I wanted to do for myself that was going to better me was a flat, NO!
LOL.. nailed it.. I got a very good paying job for one week abroad... she pushed me to go for it... when I got it, she was unsettled and unsure about me going... said she couldn't be with me if I go on the trip and I was too desperate for the money... I reminded her SHE pushed me to go for it... then she said she didn't think I would actually get it and it was just fun to try and go for it... wow.. huge eye opener.. incredibly insecure..and controlling
Because of their low self-esteem. They always compete with people and sadly speak not very well about people behind their backs. Narcissists want to win - always. They can´t lose. If you get superior above them they will do anything to keep you down. BUT: They don´t know you and that is your biggest trump-card. Just show them who you really are - don´t let them destroy you. Get out of such a relationship!
I found myself crying before going in to see patients and after I came out because mine would argue with me saying I was cheating all the time. I’m a hospice social worker. My job was hard enough. When I showed my website I built from the ground up my wife wasn’t happy either. Holidays started becoming the worst 🤦🏾♀️
You are so animated and hilarious in your videos, you really crack me up! Your content is pure gold. I appreciate your videos, they have changed my life for the better. Thank you for your effort at trying to make us better. I wish you many blessings
My narcissist mom would hide or throw away important things of mine like mail from the i.r.s , a computer for business school or anything and much more tells me negative things sometimes good things to cover up the negativity thats not even half of the things like sometimes i still question is this really my reality because its just too sad like a mom out of all people 😢
I ran/walked in our local Turkey Trot one Thanksgiving morning when my kids were little. I think it was around 3-4 miles. It was a big deal for me because I was doing things to try and be fit. It was harder than I thought it would be and came in pretty close to last. (Even though it wasn't a race. It was just for family fun.) When I got back to the car my n husband at the time was vocal and frustrated about me coming in close to last. The haterness and palpable disgust that day was thick. He wanted me to come in first so that he would look good. Took me forever to realize that part of his problem was his insecurity about me one day coming in first.
The way they think is just so messed up. What an accomplishment you made! Just finishing is something most won’t do. I’ll never forget how my ex told me I was ‘such an embarrassment’ for being in pain while I was in labor… the worst.
Fast forward to today. I have my own company while she is a bartender. I am fit and in shape and she is up 4 sizes. She is now with obese, ugly old man who is broke! I'm happily single and dating younger beautiful women. I have full custody of the kids at their request because I show them them consistent love, care and support. I think she was projecting because her self esteem was so low that seeing me do well makes her jealous.
Well if a narcissist has done so much reprehensible abuse, and now the spouse has money. Shoot I’d leave too. If I was all set and independent now…..I’d be gone
He would destroy everything I was working on. He told me while in a fit of rage that he knows if I made enough money I would divorce him. I divorced him with $800 in my bank account and it was the best decision of my life. I wish I left sooner .. he held me back for years.
He filed a case with DCFS(open then closed for no evidence). He filed it while I was going through my final exams. And btw, he actually told me later that he opened the case because I didn’t answer his call for two days.
That's the delusional part , over thinking , what ifs . It's like they have this little play in their heads . If they keep thinking of it over and over its liable to come true ❤ "menafestaion" .
With my friend she almost came right out and said she was jealous. She kept saying 3verything I bought myself, “I couldn’t afford that,”. Why would someone blatantly say that, is this person a narcissist?
Jealous find a new friend these people are dangerous probably a narcissist at very least their toxic in had a best friend who was similar would make up lies behind my back
People throw around the word 'narcissist' way too much. One behaviour doesn't equate to narcissism. Maybe she's just jealous or maybe she's just poor and feeling sorry for herself... simple as that.
@@kezzokav5905sine people ndi I def don't dint that why I was careful but bible tells you peike who loves them selves are in the last days yet Heber are just Gid exposing many of them are jts in a spectrum scale and their are various types there's ahuger chance then even 59-59 she is but again I was careful to say I didnt know if she is one or not at very least toxic jealousy are envy are too characteristics of narcissism js but from what the original commenter said I'd bet the farm her parents and friend both are ....nobody asked you your thoughts on that so your probably an enabler aka toxic flying monkey....ni need to reply keep it moving ..l give zero F'cjs on what you think
@@kezzokav5905 there is way more than that but I don’t have enough space here. I didn’t even know what narcissism was until I searched friend feels entitled to my money and assets, ahhh, pay dirt. I am not sure if she hits all 9 points, I am strongly positive about 6 of them. She is married and they are two income. I am single on one. Leave me alone. I let a lot of things slide over the way she treated me over the past 30 years, because I was busy working. (Sometimes 2 jobs).
narcissists don't want you to leave because they are parasites that need to feed on your negative emotions (anxiety, anger, depression, uncertainty)
“They think you’re gonna leave.” AND DID!! ✌🏽
My parents and my ex. He didn’t want me to work out because I’d leave. He didn’t want me nice going out without him. He didn’t want me to go to school. My mother was happy when I lost my home and told me to go to a homeless shelter. Would make fun of me for taking my daughter to school because she thought she was too good to ride the bus.
Toxic people everywhere. It’s lonely and it hurts when people you love want you to suffer. I only hope what they gave me they get back ten fold.
My parents are very similar. I empathize greatly.
Mine too.and why then do we love them is the question. Or who do we love coz they are not who we thought they are .we need to walk our own path not follow them coz we feel we are a team
I'm so sorry! I don't wish anything bad on my ex. I am comfortable with the knowledge that Karma WILL come for him. I don't have to see it to know it. He's in the past and will stay there. Take care of you!
Same, didn’t want me to work out or anything for that matter cause I’d leave. Plus they are always in competition with you. 🤦🏽♀️
🥺🤗🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤❤🥺🥺
I was with my husband for 37 years before leaving in 2018. He would always sabotage me when ever I was getting ahead. When I stopped drinking he would leave a glass of wine sitting out in plane view. He was very uncomfortable with me finally getting sober. He was there when the doctor told us both that if I didn't stop drinking I would die. It got to the point in my marriage where I had to do everything in secret .
Same here
Congratulations on getting out and all of your successes! Shine bright!
Thank you so much that was very valuable for me
@@Rodderz1 I feel for you. I was in that situation for 19 years, though I probably only realized it for 15. It was just a neighbor -- just a neighbor that ended up rigging my car to explode five years after I want no contact. Only another former target of hers who moved across the country believes me because she's everybody's "friend." I've had to cut ties I didn't want to cut and probably won't feel entirely safe until I leave the state and I'm able to hide my whereabouts for good. Whatever you decide, be careful and know that this stranger will hold you in her prayers.
PS EMDR therapy is amazing stuff, as is learning about ancient civilizations and ancient wisdom. You hold more power than you know, and certainly more power than they want you to know. Matt LaCtoix and Billy Carson got me started and my new favorite is Gregg Braden. They're all on RUclips. BTW, I did and still do believe in God. If you hear something you find offensive, you probably need to do as I did and listen more to understand that they still believe in a God, too. (The ancient tablets refer to more than one "god," but that's probably how those beings were seen.) If I can start over, alone and broke at 63, you've got this! You and God, who truly lives within all of us.
BTW, you may never have an attempt on your life. I think the only reason she wanted me gone was because I warned her other victim. She needed a new victim and was afraid I was in the way.
The tactics they resort to in order to sabotage are just beyond belief. These creatures are more than horrific to deal with.
3:37 Not to mention, it's a type of projection too. A narcissist will think that you'll leave them when you level up when really that is something that they'd do. Plain and simple as that.
That is because they don´t trust you. (Because they don´t even want to get to know you...). In fact the sabotage themselves.
💯🎯🔥
I certainly felt like being married to my ex held me back in many ways. I felt like I would’ve been further in life if it wasn’t for being with him. Especially since I was helping him out. He was a bum, couldn’t keep a job, didn’t always have money. Leaving was the best decision. I feel like nothing is in the way now!
you got it! stay empowered
Before I started college I purposely blocked all narcissists and I even quit a high paying job because I knew all those narcissists, my narc boss, my narc family especially all my cousins, etc., would try to stop me.
I literally took all of 2020 to get rid of these narcissists. Then I secretly started college in 2021. I am so grateful for your channel because you have guided me through the process in dealing with narcissists for years. So thank you very much. I got my Associates Degree in peace.
Congratulations! Good work!
@@BeingLifted Thanks!
Mine would sabotage anything positive I did…to the point he’d even steal household cleaning & personal hygiene products I purchased…just so I couldn’t do normal, everyday tasks. But then he’d turn around & abuse the s#*% outta’ me for ‘not cleaning’, etc… Unbelievable.
That's a personal problem
@@latashahumphrey769 I appreciate that you spent moments of your life scrutinizing mine. Next time, bring popcorn! 💥🍿🥤🍿🥤🍿🥤💥
All narcissists don’t want us to succeed
😮💨
@@MentalHealness All but one... At least you, Lee, are a work in progress.
@@roberts.valkyrieNPD is not curable... He doesn't care if we succeed, he cares that his channel succeeds and by proxy we can get something out of that.
Nobody can change your destiny only Allah.
My old sister and my ex husband are demons and I pray everyday Allah to give reward for them.
This is so true! They will say and do many things to try to hold you back. THANK GOD YOU GOT OUT AND EDUCATED YOURSELF ON THIS DISORDER!
I've had relatives acting funny when they heard I work out 😂. They thought they are the only ones who can do something with their life.
Same here. I get asked 'how did you do that? You have never succeeded with anything'
I am actually higher educated than them in my field and have worked very hard for 20+ years.
Just didn't share my accomplishments with them because I knew very well how they would react
I just finished my training classes. And he filed for custody. Like why didn’t he do this before so I could go ahead with my new job?!?! Now I can’t accept any jobs for months because I have to stay here for court.
I wanted to get promoted for work & was working towards it. He told me I wasn’t smart enough for the qualifications.
If he didn’t want me to leave him, he screwed up big time. I left because he kept sabotaging me. He made his fear come true. After 32 years he told me, “I love you but I am not in love with you.” That was a wrap for me.
Nope you can't tell them the good things in your life
My own mother does this to me
This is EXACTLY how I felt... she encouraged me in one hand and then held me back in the other... always felt like i was trying to succeed with both hands tied behind my back because she wanted me to make a success of myself but in the way SHE wanted... wasn't allowed to work with females, didnt' like me travelling for work, didn't want me doing too much exercise, said I spent too much time with my kids (I'm a single parent!!).. it was like I was being moulded unnaturally but even then nothing felt good enough and I felt like I made zero progress... since going no contact, everything is lighter in my life and progress is now tangible! They are truly wolf in sheep's clothing
Some of them dont want you to succeed because they didn't or dont think they would like toxic parents who thinks its too late for them they cant stand you shinning
I was having serious allergic reactions to something. Couldn’t figure out what it was. After seeing several specialist and having to go on a strict elimination diet I discovered the culprit - a favorite food of mine. Of course after I figured it out, I shared with my friend what was found. Though it was difficult I was successful in keeping away from the food and was obviously recovering. Then one day this “friend” texts me that she is dropping off a gift at my home after going to a restaurant with some other friends.
Guess what was in the bag? You guessed it. That food. Although it shouldn’t have been the first noticeable red flag, it was the first one that caught my full attention and the beginning of my awareness. Anyone else have a similar experience?
I just experienced this‼️ I started a new job with the federal govt a close friend hooked up for me. I was so excited when my background check was returned as favorable. There was a rush to get me onboarded right away.
There was a power struggle when it was time for me to leave his house to get ready for work. He’d whine and beg me to stay. (He’s supposedly and “entrepreneur”). I pay close attention to situations, word choices, and intentions. I’m not convinced he wants me to succeed on HIS terms; I can’t allow that to happen.
Saddest part is your absolutely right thank you for your videos they make me feel not as alone in dealing with all this I've been gone for 8 months a week no contact now trying to stay strong
you’re welcome. stay strong
Definitely my fav Self Aware Narc 💯takes a lot of strength to do what you doing bro Big Respect to you Lee!
Hi Lee. I resonated with this video even though I've been divorced for several years. During my marriage, my ex-spouse would try to sabotage me in many ways. He would try to block me from going to the gym. He tried to block me by talking me out of looking for a new job. He would try to block me from having friends within our neighborhood or at the workplace. Basically, anything that I wanted to do for myself that was going to better me was a flat, NO!
Sorry to hear that. Glad that's an ex now
LOL.. nailed it.. I got a very good paying job for one week abroad... she pushed me to go for it... when I got it, she was unsettled and unsure about me going... said she couldn't be with me if I go on the trip and I was too desperate for the money... I reminded her SHE pushed me to go for it... then she said she didn't think I would actually get it and it was just fun to try and go for it... wow.. huge eye opener.. incredibly insecure..and controlling
Because of their low self-esteem. They always compete with people and sadly speak not very well about people behind their backs. Narcissists want to win - always. They can´t lose. If you get superior above them they will do anything to keep you down. BUT: They don´t know you and that is your biggest trump-card. Just show them who you really are - don´t let them destroy you. Get out of such a relationship!
I found myself crying before going in to see patients and after I came out because mine would argue with me saying I was cheating all the time. I’m a hospice social worker. My job was hard enough. When I showed my website I built from the ground up my wife wasn’t happy either. Holidays started becoming the worst 🤦🏾♀️
You are so animated and hilarious in your videos, you really crack me up! Your content is pure gold. I appreciate your videos, they have changed my life for the better. Thank you for your effort at trying to make us better. I wish you many blessings
i appreciate you being here
My narcissist mom would hide or throw away important things of mine like mail from the i.r.s , a computer for business school or anything and much more tells me negative things sometimes good things to cover up the negativity thats not even half of the things like sometimes i still question is this really my reality because its just too sad like a mom out of all people 😢
😥😥
This is so on point!!
I ran/walked in our local Turkey Trot one Thanksgiving morning when my kids were little. I think it was around 3-4 miles. It was a big deal for me because I was doing things to try and be fit. It was harder than I thought it would be and came in pretty close to last. (Even though it wasn't a race. It was just for family fun.) When I got back to the car my n husband at the time was vocal and frustrated about me coming in close to last. The haterness and palpable disgust that day was thick. He wanted me to come in first so that he would look good. Took me forever to realize that part of his problem was his insecurity about me one day coming in first.
What an absolute a-hole.
The way they think is just so messed up. What an accomplishment you made! Just finishing is something most won’t do.
I’ll never forget how my ex told me I was ‘such an embarrassment’ for being in pain while I was in labor… the worst.
Lee...You're a rockstar for making this video man! Thank you for this!
When i got my promotion at work my narcissist ex husband said, "good for u, now u can pay all the bills"
You’re so right
My ex to a T! While I was always in her corner, she always pushed me down.
Fast forward to today. I have my own company while she is a bartender. I am fit and in shape and she is up 4 sizes. She is now with obese, ugly old man who is broke! I'm happily single and dating younger beautiful women. I have full custody of the kids at their request because I show them them consistent love, care and support. I think she was projecting because her self esteem was so low that seeing me do well makes her jealous.
They help you when you're behind but don't you dare to actually succeed. The thing about the job.. when you're depressed and home it's all good.. 😑
This is happening to me. There is this narcissist family who tries to sabotage me and get me fired from jobs 😭 I need a way to get them behind bars 💯
Well if a narcissist has done so much reprehensible abuse, and now the spouse has money. Shoot I’d leave too. If I was all set and independent now…..I’d be gone
Lee, thnx a million 4 having enough wisdom and courage 2 educate us with best intentions! I love the path U have chosen.
He would destroy everything I was working on. He told me while in a fit of rage that he knows if I made enough money I would divorce him. I divorced him with $800 in my bank account and it was the best decision of my life. I wish I left sooner .. he held me back for years.
So true!!
I believe this yes
He filed a case with DCFS(open then closed for no evidence). He filed it while I was going through my final exams. And btw, he actually told me later that he opened the case because I didn’t answer his call for two days.
That's the delusional part , over thinking , what ifs . It's like they have this little play in their heads . If they keep thinking of it over and over its liable to come true ❤ "menafestaion" .
Im growing in my life y would I give up everything for someone who doesn't give a damn about you
Mr Lee why do a lot of narcissists clear their throats so much? I noticed that you do it also
Lee why do they stalk? They discarded us. I dont get it
What Up Lee , thanks for your help
Any time!
FYI archaeologists don’t unearth fossils, paleontologists do. It’s a common misconception :)
Thank you for pointing this out and explaining this ❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon
🧡
I don't see why they do cus they want to make it off your back and ride your your coat tail...
No way
Wth!
Can a man be a narcissist only towards women?
im uncertain. i would say everyone gets a different version of the narcissist
@@MentalHealness because I was told by the person that they only narcissist towards women so I was just asking
With my friend she almost came right out and said she was jealous. She kept saying 3verything I bought myself, “I couldn’t afford that,”. Why would someone blatantly say that, is this person a narcissist?
Jealous find a new friend these people are dangerous probably a narcissist at very least their toxic in had a best friend who was similar would make up lies behind my back
Covert maybe, trying to arouse pity
People throw around the word 'narcissist' way too much. One behaviour doesn't equate to narcissism. Maybe she's just jealous or maybe she's just poor and feeling sorry for herself... simple as that.
@@kezzokav5905sine people ndi I def don't dint that why I was careful but bible tells you peike who loves them selves are in the last days yet Heber are just Gid exposing many of them are jts in a spectrum scale and their are various types there's ahuger chance then even 59-59 she is but again I was careful to say I didnt know if she is one or not at very least toxic jealousy are envy are too characteristics of narcissism js but from what the original commenter said I'd bet the farm her parents and friend both are ....nobody asked you your thoughts on that so your probably an enabler aka toxic flying monkey....ni need to reply keep it moving ..l give zero F'cjs on what you think
@@kezzokav5905 there is way more than that but I don’t have enough space here. I didn’t even know what narcissism was until I searched friend feels entitled to my money and assets, ahhh, pay dirt. I am not sure if she hits all 9 points, I am strongly positive about 6 of them. She is married and they are two income. I am single on one. Leave me alone. I let a lot of things slide over the way she treated me over the past 30 years, because I was busy working. (Sometimes 2 jobs).
"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less---than---excellent work." ---Thomas J. Watson
"The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same." ---Colin R. Davis