Why do narcissists use other people to help them get over you? | The Narcissists' Code Ep 691

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  • Опубликовано: 12 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 481

  • @emanuelarangos4247
    @emanuelarangos4247 Год назад +524

    It's extremely sad when you love a narcissist and he crushes you in return.

    • @LG-ly7pw
      @LG-ly7pw Год назад +12

      What do you love about him?

    • @reginabernard7590
      @reginabernard7590 Год назад +110

      @@LG-ly7pw we love the person we wish they’d be. The idea of them. Because realistically, there’s nothing to love. Learned it a bit too late

    • @daniellemorse6929
      @daniellemorse6929 Год назад +60

      Sometimes we see things in them that they show on occasion that we love. One thing is guaranteed with them is that they will crush us. 💔

    • @LG-ly7pw
      @LG-ly7pw Год назад +52

      @@reginabernard7590 yeah they’re potential. Yes very easy to get caught in that. And especially when reminiscing on the love bombing phase.
      But it’s all crap. They are very little of who they claim to be.
      One line of thought I used to help me stay empowered is knowing that THEY themselves have zero tolerance for their type of behaviour like lying, cheating, neglect, etc.. so I mirrored him and walked.
      Hes blocked on everything!

    • @LG-ly7pw
      @LG-ly7pw Год назад

      @@daniellemorse6929 absolutely

  • @spiritwellness252
    @spiritwellness252 Год назад +174

    The narc is a controlling maniac. The new person is not going to be happy later on when they figure the narc out…... I’m happy and free now.

  • @margov5916
    @margov5916 Год назад +128

    They always think some one else will fit them better. But it won't. Then they think you were better, and want to come back.

  • @Kat_Apiata
    @Kat_Apiata Год назад +194

    My ex narc moved on within 2 weeks of our separation, and I felt nothing but relief. It was all I needed to find the courage to finally move forward.

    • @Delaine2005
      @Delaine2005 Год назад +16

      I can relate..It was a weight lifted.

    • @loyaltyzaccai
      @loyaltyzaccai Год назад +4

      Exactly. 💕

    • @mrvocal21
      @mrvocal21 Год назад +6

      Most of them come back though especially if you were together for a long time i.e. a stable source of supply you may be hearing from them for the rest of your life.

    • @starttakinnotez
      @starttakinnotez Год назад +10

      It wasn't a 2 week process. There was lots of love bombing via text & most likely in person while you were with him. They leave when the new supply that can give the same or more benefits is hooked.
      They're users. The same thing will happen to the person they're with.

    • @natashasmith4570
      @natashasmith4570 Год назад +2

      Happy for you.😊

  • @recoveringsoul755
    @recoveringsoul755 Год назад +52

    They were ALREADY in other relationships before you/they ended it

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Год назад +22

      that's true a lot of time

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 7 месяцев назад +3

      ​@MentalHealness so they dam well know all the bullshit they put us though 🙄

  • @Eddonis84
    @Eddonis84 Год назад +176

    Stop worrying about what narcissist are saying about you they are hating on you in the same manner they hate on everybody else keep up the great work

    • @shundricatorrance4281
      @shundricatorrance4281 Год назад +2

      So that's why he calls me crazy and says I have issues.🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @carmenroselles1607
      @carmenroselles1607 Год назад +3

      My ex narc called me crazy every chance he got. Made me feel so ashamed.

    • @lilycherkaoui5423
      @lilycherkaoui5423 Год назад +4

      @@carmenroselles1607 I was actually ashamed I was with him to begin with. I felt like I lowered my standards and then he called me every name. A no win situation. Glad he is gone. My eyes wide open now. Better late than never.

    • @sheneerussell2418
      @sheneerussell2418 Месяц назад

      I knew that they were coming for him. LEE STAY STRONG..YOU ARE DOING THE LORDS WORK . ❤

  • @DoesItReallyMatter25
    @DoesItReallyMatter25 Год назад +65

    When I left the Narc Ex, I prayed he found a new supply so I could move on in peace, even though I was very hurt. I needed peace, deserved it and I thrive in it now! Blocked all contact and babbbbbyyyyy, best decision ever!

    • @pammj7201
      @pammj7201 Год назад +5

      I had to do the same thing!!!! Nothing like peace of mind...

  • @ShaisTime
    @ShaisTime Год назад +46

    Say it again for the people in the BACK 🗣️‼️ Just because they move on fast in a new relationship does NOT MEAN THEY WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE ‼️ They almost 9/10 WILL CIRCLE BACK ⭕️🔁 Trust me ! Even though they put you through pure hell ‼️‼️ 🔥🔥 They will think they did NOTHING WRONG & come back 😭🙄

    • @jenn-24
      @jenn-24 Год назад +1

      Would it be the same if they leave & go back to their ex? That’s what my ex did to me.

    • @traceybiles2061
      @traceybiles2061 Год назад +8

      Them moving on immediately is them being with someone or others already in your relationship..those people will get the same thing...good riddance to them..

    • @ShaisTime
      @ShaisTime Год назад +7

      @@traceybiles2061 You’re absolutely right. 💯💯 Narcissists ALWAYS talk to people behind your back. You just don’t know it, until you go through that phone & find out the hard way 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @ShaisTime
      @ShaisTime Год назад +1

      @@jenn-24 My ex did that to me. He’s doing that now. Saying he’s on my side & cares about me & has my back lol still flirts. Not sure if you consider that hoovering but that’s being done to me. & In the past when it hasn’t worked out, he did try to come back also. I have children with him too so.. that could be it also. Even though he’s inconsistent & acts like a deadbeat

    • @QueenBee-fg1iz
      @QueenBee-fg1iz Год назад +3

      True! My ex was already talking with another woman so I left. He showed up 6 months later and denied being with her. I didn’t jump to get him back so he left and started the smear campaign immediately. His daughter told me she had picked him and the woman up at a motel the day before he showed up here. He introduced her as his girlfriend! Crazy.

  • @chloelageaux769
    @chloelageaux769 Год назад +67

    This question is simple. The Narc uses other ppl to move on from another person because they HATE being alone! Once you are alone, you only have yourself to deal with. So, you can do a lot of inflection, self care, accountability, and self improvement. However, some Narcs don't want to do this type of work because it requires taking responsibility and change. It's so much easier to just go from person to person and let other ppl think that you aren't the real problem! This is why it's so IMPORTANT to ask serious questions in the beginning! Are you really single? How long was your last relationship? How long have you been single? What did you do during your single season? Pay attention to their responses and actions! Don't let them rush you either! If they really like you then they can wait and you will see their true self!

    • @SuprEmpth
      @SuprEmpth Год назад +2

      You have been the missing piece to the puzzle on how to “pre-screen” these demons(sorry Lee) before getting emotionally involved. Thank you 🙏🏾

    • @daeclipse03
      @daeclipse03 Год назад +2

      My ex told me she was single for 3 years but that was after she asked me how long I was single and I told her 5 years. She was simply mirroring me when in reality she jumps from one guy right to the next.

    • @divinereveals3842
      @divinereveals3842 11 месяцев назад +1

      Lol they will still lie

  • @TheSpiritRoom23
    @TheSpiritRoom23 Год назад +73

    Mine used me to get over an ex and I didn’t even know it but had a feeling. In the beginning of the relationship he used to call me so much even my family was telling me “he must really like you” even though I felt weird about it at first but my silly ass started to think maybe he do like me a lot and really want to speak to me. During the relationship he started to call less but because I’m so used to talking to him a lot, I didn’t know what was going on. Almost a year and a half later I guess he was healed and started telling me he need some space and was calling me codependent mind you, he was the one who set up the tempo for the relationship. I was barely calling him in the beginning I remember he used to say “I see you like to text” I only started talking more because of him! Anyway, he started to fall back a lot and something told me he met someone new. He started speaking different and acting different till he finally discarded me. I guess I wasn’t shiny anymore. And he kept lying to me about when him and his ex broke up coming to find out they was a month out of the relationship before he got into a relationship with me. I remember when we first started to talk he was drinking a lot especially at night which showed me he was grieving but he kept fronting like it wasn’t about his ex. Some nights with him I felt alone because he would drink himself to sleep. He even said he needed closure one time then told me that’s not what he said🤨 he was a hard core liar!!!!!!!!! He had me lined up already before his ex discarded him then had someone new lined up before he discarded me😮‍💨

    • @airenmoonwolf2520
      @airenmoonwolf2520 Год назад +15

      That has to be a horrible feeling to know you were targeted by someone who's sole purpose was to use you. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

    • @reginabernard7590
      @reginabernard7590 Год назад +17

      Same!!!! Mine kept me around and when the girls he wanted didn’t want him back, he’d use me. I also thought “wow he does like” and I started to like him back and then got my heart broken multiple times. All good, we’re healing. Extremely slowly… but we’re healing 😂

    • @danielbotello4753
      @danielbotello4753 Год назад +16

      theres a special place in hell for these type of people

    • @emmajackson5139
      @emmajackson5139 Год назад +11

      The more I think about me and my ex the more I know he got with me to make his ex supply jealous and to look good to his family.
      Funny thing is tho when him and me ended and her and her new supply ended they still ain't even together now she's off with her new supply.
      Seriously it's so childish. But it's OK they can keep playing games and waste each others time. I'm in my 30s I ain't dealing with this childish stuff

    • @theosaka69
      @theosaka69 Год назад +6

      @@emmajackson5139 Try dealing with it in your 40’s and 50’s? Looking back on our 18-month relationship with my ex-narc fiancé, he was definitely using me to emotionally torture and further wound his “ex-wife” of 25 years. Not only did he cheat on me with her, but I found out that he was still married to her the whole time we were together. He lied to me telling me that they were divorced for 3 years before we met (they were supposedly living separate lives, separate homes, finances, etc), but they were legally separated. He knew that was a deal breaker for me, but didn’t give a damn. Meanwhile, he was going back and forth between us both and triangulated us. What a fckd up person he is.

  • @2810sha
    @2810sha Год назад +8

    It hurt! I'm trying to move on . My
    Narc wife left me for another man. Mean while I have been getting my self together
    But the pain is still there.

  • @completely_me75
    @completely_me75 Год назад +19

    How do they use others to get over someone they never cared about? They use others to fill and endless pit of a void.

  • @ShaisTime
    @ShaisTime Год назад +81

    Applaud to you Lee for breaking the patterns ! 👏🏽👏🏽🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 If only more narcissists wanted to be honest & self aware that it will always end the same. ‼️💯

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Год назад +12

      🙏

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 2 месяца назад

      ​@@MentalHealnesshey lee it's been a year since the discard do you think I'm OK dating because I met a really kind man... I'm going VERY slowly

  • @jessicawebber7925
    @jessicawebber7925 10 месяцев назад +7

    I was also crushed by a narcissist. I am still shocked over it. But it was a lesson and it pushed me to better myself and go to therapy, advance my career and pursue my degree. But these type of people I do have sympathy for and why a person would do this and manipulate someone this way.

    • @RachelStark-vs3dp
      @RachelStark-vs3dp 5 месяцев назад

      😢 it saddens me to see they’ll never be able to feel real love or trust. Hopefully some will get help and have a healthy relationship 🎉🎉🎉 one day

  • @erismana2105
    @erismana2105 Год назад +46

    Got Lee cussing and burping again..( 🙃)
    Lee you say what you want, the info you give us is priceless. I share your information often knowing it will help someone.

  • @airenmoonwolf2520
    @airenmoonwolf2520 Год назад +52

    The shame that other narcissists try to drop onto your head should fall away like rain off a duck's ass...after all, Lee, narcissists gonna project, right? They are just showing you who they are not who you are. :) Those of us actually learning and growing with you know the truth but you gotta not internalize the poison people who are running from their own issues are gonna throw. You got this!

    • @jenniferyates8100
      @jenniferyates8100 Год назад +3

      Well done Lee. You are a 🌟⭐. Thank you for this video.😊

  • @mistyblue2917
    @mistyblue2917 Год назад +20

    Yup.. had a narc say immediately that he wants to marry me/have kids immediately, n kept saying "i love you" over n over n over again, yet could not explain why except "your face" (ofc he could not explain why, he didnt know me/that's not "love")..
    Didnt fall for the lovebombing n tried to slow things down. When i reasonably explained gently that i dont want things to crash n burn, n want to talk n get to know each other first, he got irrationally incensed, imformed me that i just lost the "best" possible person i could ever get (lol.. sure Jan), n felt justified to punish me relentlessly since, including finding some random stranger to date immediately after we talked.
    The whole time, i had this distinct feeling that all of his "passion" n impatience to get married/w kids wasnt even abt me.. even tho oddly, he seemed to believe that he was wildly in love w me.
    I had the empathic feeling as if his entire being was a gaping raw wound, and the distinct feeling the entire thing was actually abt him being in urgent competition w an ex or exes, who had severely hurt and/or rejected him, to be married/have kids/"happier", just to spite some unknown ghosts of his past. Maybe right b4 he met me, he had found out his ex was getting married/having a baby, etc.
    I felt so sure of this vibe i was getting off him n always wanted to compassionately ask him abt it n help him sort out his pain (before i realized the extent of his disorder), and kept encouraging him to take time alone to deal w his emotions n heal, which i thought was a normal/commonly-known advice nowadays, but to my surprise, he reacted like he had never heard of something so strange b4, n like i was weird to tell him that once u learn to tolerate spending time alone, you'll even come to enjoy it.
    He tried 1 day of staying home after work (instead of always needing the constant social distractions he relied on, per his usual MO), n told me abt that, bc i think that time he was still trying to impress me or get recognition from me, but ultimately i think he just decided, "stay home by myself like a loser?? This is boring/lame." He literally could not tolerate having the time alone to think abt his feelings, esp negative ones.
    I felt like he was just a robot or a creature, or like a SIMS character, going thru the 3D motions of "living in life" n "being in relationships" n "hitting milestones"/keeping up w other ppl, but none of it was real or substantial.
    I used to assume he had been treated really badly by past gfs to become the human embodiment of a raw wound, but now i realize how irrationally sensitive he can be n that they might have not even done anything wrong, (like when i simply told him i'd prefer to get to know each other first n he flipped out as if i were a horrible person, (i.e., i wasnt fulfilling what he was trying to use me for)),
    and i realized that those other girls might have well been blindsided at being suddenly angrily discarded.. and he literally immediately goes into his multiple dating apps n finds a new person to "be in love with", within a couple hours, then dates them for a few weeks-months. Lather, rinse, n repeat, ad nauseam.
    He has literally never been single for even a day in his entire adult life.. i also can hardly wrap my mind around how narcissists can immediately lovebomb new supply while they are hurting like a raw oozing wound.. like doesnt it take a LOT more effort n self-control to put on a fake happy face n act all lovey-dovey, than to just surrender to the pain n stay home for a few days n heal?? But i guess it's easier for them to fake things, since they dont truly actually love, neither the old supply or the new one.

    • @collectivemindsunique7945
      @collectivemindsunique7945 6 месяцев назад +1

      This was amazingly written. Your speculations are accurate and very emotionally intelligent.

    • @sheneerussell2418
      @sheneerussell2418 Месяц назад

      Becareful.. he will try to impregnate you for a lifetime place holder..😢

  • @unapologeticallyme8941
    @unapologeticallyme8941 Год назад +17

    Lee don’t worry about the minions the “real” ones understand you ❤️

  • @ladyvirgo013
    @ladyvirgo013 Год назад +6

    Yup,my husband of 12 years devalued me, went completely quiet with me,then left me for the secretary at his work.
    I'm 2 weeks into this journey and very devastated. Such a mind fuck.
    Thanks for your videos

    • @kiremithanemblog
      @kiremithanemblog Год назад +1

      You can make it!
      Nothing wrong with you girl I hope you heal and shine brighter ❤

  • @KimberlyMeade-hm7yd
    @KimberlyMeade-hm7yd Год назад +34

    I have learned so much from you…I just ended a 5 year relationship and within 2 weeks I was replaced..it’s sad bc your right about bringing the baggage to the relationship…taking time to myself to heal is the best for me it’s not easy bc I do miss our relationship but I can’t have him to drain my energy…I’m in therapy and I’m an empath so my energy gets drained very quickly from ppls emotions and was in fight or flight all the time…we also did couple’s therapy and that didn’t go well ..but I’m glad to hear your POV it’s very helpful

    • @Edward_Strong1982
      @Edward_Strong1982 Год назад +1

      I’m an empath also and was with a narc for almost 4 years. Drained everything out of me. I was literally empty. I ended the relationship and took disability at work for anxiety and depression for almost two months . I was spiritually and emotionally drained and broken. Marc’s love empaths! A constant source of validation

    • @nibulle5757
      @nibulle5757 8 месяцев назад

      Same here. 5 years together, moving in and getting engaged. Thrown away without any explanation and seeing it coming, replaced in 3 weeks. He tried to come back and when i rejected him the things he said to me sent me to therapy and i did not get a relationship for years.

  • @Susie428
    @Susie428 Год назад +15

    My narcissistic abuser has been hurting me for 22 years. I fell out of love with him, and it’s taking me a long time to get the courage to leave him then he sends me not one by two nasty emails saying how I could leave what we had saying I was a liar that I would never leave him, but all he did was make broken promises. He had been with multiple women break me down for years. I couldn’t take it anymore if I stayed any longer, I don’t think there would be anything left. There were times I question if my life was worth living, it even hard to this day and it’s only been a couple months he will never change because all he does is go from women to women he can’t just be with one woman 🥺

    • @emmajackson5139
      @emmajackson5139 Год назад +3

      Maybe see it as one women won't be enough for him but one person will be enough for you. To me that's their karma they will never be satisfied. We will find our happiness with one person one day.
      Keep your chin up and I wish you luck on your healing journey. You got this ❤

    • @NunYa-db7jy
      @NunYa-db7jy Год назад +3

      Your gone, and he calls you a liar and says that you could never leave him. That boy is a charmer. How could you possibly not go running back with those words of love and respect?

    • @Susie428
      @Susie428 Год назад +1

      @@NunYa-db7jy after years of abuse I was scared to death to leave after him putting me in the hospital I thought the next time what if I ended up dead but then I thought maybe I would end up dead if I didn’t leave for all those women or men that are in that same situation I pray that you have the strength to get out because you’re better than this no person deserves to be abused, no matter if that’s mentally or physically you deserve to find your happiness, and I refuse to spend the rest of my years being abused, and one thing I can say he used my mental disability against me, and that’s one thing that has held me back all these years whatever it is I hope it doesn’t hold anyone else back no matter how hard it is we are fighters and someone else will love you like you deserve

    • @NunYa-db7jy
      @NunYa-db7jy Год назад +1

      @@Susie428 Yep, I did over 20 also. The dichotomy and not knowing about narcissism and it's abuse... I only knew of the cultural narcissist, not the the one of psychology. Being full on hated for 10 of those years had me googling "husband hates me", because he really wasn't reacting to me. I now know about bad object, object constancy and whole object relation and transference which were the reasons why he was competing and hating on me, just because I was his wife, scapegoat and target ..and not because of of my behavior. So google took me to BPD and N. To make it even harder to find truth, mine was Covert Vulnerable type which doesn't tick the DSM boxes. Mine started physical as I found out about the C/V N, which set off my oh hell no response to make him leave. Ridiculous waste of love and life for everyone involved. I respond here with smart arse responses to remind us all of our ridiculous responses to their ridiculous behavior. And, I by nature am a smart arse. Continue to Glow up Susie❤️

  • @iofb.hulder
    @iofb.hulder Год назад +13

    Simplest answer: because they're weak and need a crutch at every difficult juncture of life

  • @margov5916
    @margov5916 Год назад +12

    When I did not want to go on vacation with my narcissistic mother and went to my grandmother instead, as usual, my mother threw away my bed from the bedroom, rearranged it to fit my sister and told me not to come back home again. I just turned 16. Never saw her again until many years later. So was she a narcissist? I think she was. Not just because of that.

    • @charlotteclark6061
      @charlotteclark6061 Год назад +1

      .. Sounds like it, because they can discard you very easily and quickly. So sorry you had that pain,I wish that people didn't exist, it's craziness!

  • @toshiekatucker4770
    @toshiekatucker4770 Год назад +18

    You definitely spoke for the narcissist that I use to deal with.

  • @kellithomas9080
    @kellithomas9080 Год назад +18

    Lee, I swear I love you and your family!!! You helped me understand the dysfunction I dealt with for 12 years off and on. I’m so glad I am on my healing journey! I was able to reject a Hoover for the first time ever! I would always go back, but no more!! The desire to better myself and heal means more than going back to what’s been familiar. I feel so free!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!

  • @SisterInChrist-Chrissy
    @SisterInChrist-Chrissy Год назад +41

    Leeeeee.. OMG this was so SPOT ON!!! Thank you so much for this! It really helps the non-narc keep our sanity hearing the truth said out loud!
    And with that said, the amount of self awareness, growth and healing you've done to get to where you are is Amazing! God Bless you Brother ❣️

    • @yathome5596
      @yathome5596 Год назад +1

      Yes he’s self aware but is still a Narc.

    • @yathome5596
      @yathome5596 Год назад

      My ex Narc met someone right before I dumped him because he could feel my detaching from him. He was prepared, even though we wouldn’t stop calling. I went no contact and 14 years later he calls again. I feel sorry for him knowing now what he is.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 7 месяцев назад +1

    My husband was the WORST thing that has EVER happened to me! That ended so dam demonic

  • @maryamshaaban74
    @maryamshaaban74 Год назад +4

    But God forbid we move on or even not keep the same "rules" they had for us after they throw is aside. The amount of manipulative shaming and how you're the one who clearly never loved them and they meant nothing to you, etc.

  • @stormi9951
    @stormi9951 Год назад +8

    The Lee formally known as the Narcissist 😂😂😂. Lee you the dopest self aware Narcissist I know. Thank you for trying to help us. You are a true God send. Keep up the good work on you!! We need you dawg!💪🏾💪🏾❤️

  • @Haitian-Vodou
    @Haitian-Vodou Год назад +1

    Quicky as *ell! You said it right. Quicky Quicky

  • @Z-gg3fc
    @Z-gg3fc 2 месяца назад +1

    So true after a break up I was thinking about what I can do differently so this doesn’t happen again. Control my emotions better. Self development. Self love. Taking time to heal. My ex right away was on the dating app. Not the first time he did this, every time we had an issue. He had horrible communication and expressing how he feels. He would go silent for bs. I couldn’t understand why he constantly needed to be searching for a woman. First time we broke up did this: he would say we broke up so he went on the app.. umm we just broke up like 30 min ago. He was on there the whole time we were together. Same time he was txting me asking why I don’t give a f we broke up, all he wants is to spend time with me. SMH.

  • @Jessica-eq4fm
    @Jessica-eq4fm Год назад +1

    These people are so hurtful...so not fair that they blame the non-narcissist for giving their life to them for nothing but pain

  • @reneealex4146
    @reneealex4146 Год назад +10

    You are telling the truth my ex did this to me we were married for 41 years and I’m now 5 years away from this illness !!!!!!!! Thank you FATHER GOD THE MOST HIGH ❤

    • @charlotteclark6061
      @charlotteclark6061 Год назад +1

      Why did you stay for so long? That's way too long to get abused! I'm glad you left!

    • @never4saken165
      @never4saken165 Год назад +1

      I wasted 32 yrs and feel crushed to have wasted so many years of my life, 41 yrs, I can only imagine how you feel. To God be the glory, glad you got out and now in peace

    • @reneealex4146
      @reneealex4146 Год назад +1

      @@charlotteclark6061 i had loved him more than i had love for myself ♥️

    • @reneealex4146
      @reneealex4146 Год назад

      @@never4saken165 never look at it as waste , you're latter days will be greater than your 31years trust FATHER GOD you will see 🙏♥️

  • @asmyworlddivides581
    @asmyworlddivides581 Год назад +9

    Lee, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you, but I'm proud of you. I was raised by two narcassistic parents (I am the scapegoat child) , and almost all the men I dated were also narcassistic. My reputation is destroyed, I have one person I trust, and I'm trying to heal from the abuse, but am not making very much progress. I'm proud of you for putting your truth, story, shames, and fears out there and telling it real. It's helping me so again, I'm proud of you and what you're doing.

    • @charlotteclark6061
      @charlotteclark6061 Год назад +1

      ... I'm proud of you! You're going to be great! Do well on your own time!

    • @asmyworlddivides581
      @asmyworlddivides581 Год назад

      @@charlotteclark6061 wow, thank you from my whole heart!

  • @caramelized23
    @caramelized23 Год назад +1

    I was with a Narcissist for 13yrs. Had 1 child. I left him when my child was 8. He was cheating on me with a young lady that he is currently married to.. He would come to my house with her in the car and verbally and physically assault me.. We hadn't been together for 10yrs at this point.. Mind you he never helped provide nor see his child.. He even went so far as to have his soon to be wife come to my job and ask me to drop child support.. He's body slammed me on my daughter's job.. It took me leaving the state to get away from him.. The first time I saw him again after 4yrs was my daughter's college graduation and he tried to attack me there and my future husband intervened... Moral of story is I am a happily married content peaceful woman... Being with him taught me what I didn't want and I dodged a serious bullet...

  • @anitaj1512
    @anitaj1512 Год назад +14

    Boy...I'm proud of you! you're amazing, as not many people can face their own issues, same as us, whose facing the abuse of narc. I can't say for everyone, I ran and lied to myself to avoid the reality. Finally, I decided to face the fact, it's hurtful, but....worth!

  • @WillowForest-q3v
    @WillowForest-q3v 9 дней назад

    ignore those people. I don't understand why they come on here and try to be insultive and steal the healing vibes. I can't stand trolls. YOU ARE AWESOME LEE. You have always said you are a narcissist but you are a narcissist in therapy. So dont let them steal your light or trigger you. I can tell you this I think I can probably say for majority of us. We dont read their negative comments. And when we do we let them know that this is a place for healing and growth. Thank you Lee

  • @KATKattalestv
    @KATKattalestv Год назад +1

    LOL You got some Toxic People Following You. Welcome to Social Media. Seriously I learned so much from your testimony. Thank You😻

  • @katiecat5500
    @katiecat5500 Год назад +3

    There is nothing personal about what a narc does and says. I have learned to not take it that way. It’s a blessing to get to that place.

  • @alexawilsonartvideos
    @alexawilsonartvideos Год назад +4

    For a self-confessed narcissistic psychopath you are doing God's work, thank you for your awesome work having evolved so much. It educates both narcs and empaths :)❤

  • @priscillaowens1497
    @priscillaowens1497 Год назад +1

    I love you, I'm a 60y old lady, and just wanted to say, Don't worry about what people say about I love this new to you. I love you honestly don't change.

  • @emanuelarangos4247
    @emanuelarangos4247 Год назад +6

    My narc had 2 extra backup suply for safety when I didn't want to deal with him.

    • @ainahaga
      @ainahaga Год назад

      Yeah I also feel mine has! I dont want him anymore. Ive blocked him again now. Not chasing anyone anymore!

  • @daniellemorse6929
    @daniellemorse6929 Год назад +12

    Thank you for keeping it real, Lee.
    Exnarc moved on really fast. I don't feel like there's any more hoovering in the future. I think they get to a point when they are actually done with some past supplies. Trying to pick up the pieces. 💔

    • @kellithomas4737
      @kellithomas4737 Год назад +2

      Especially when you find out who they really are! They will only come back if they think they will have a chance again. Mine did that to me. Once I started calling him out and seeing the behaviors and patterns, he didn't come back at all. The first 5 years he came back all the time, once he got me pregnant and I called him out on his bs, he broke up with me and blamed all our back and forth over the years and said he is just exhausted...but yet he's the one who caused all the drama and I just reacted to his lies and it really made me crazy!! But then I didn't know what a Narc was and he appeared to level up over the years and I thought he really changed and thought maybe it was me...we got back together, and it was the same issues for 2 years until the last discard in Dec 2022. IDC if he's done or not, I AM!!!

  • @lisadgraf
    @lisadgraf Год назад +6

    Thank you for mentioning CPTSD. I’m in a workshop now and it is shocking that more attention hasn’t been brought to this diagnosis.

  • @dawnshell4605
    @dawnshell4605 Год назад +6

    I love your analogies….They help explain things so clearly…..Thanks Lee for everything you do to spread awareness of NPD….You are changing lives and probably saving many ❤

  • @Pumpkinseeds1753
    @Pumpkinseeds1753 Год назад +11

    People are always going to find something wrong when you’re trying to do right! Keep working on you and spreading awareness! Love your insight.. You definitely hit the target 🎯!!! My ex is a Narc and did just that! I realize he was sick mentally and isn’t truly capable of loving anyone in a healthy manner! Seek help ladies and gentlemen for your healing from the Narc because they do damage! 💪🏽🙏🏽

  • @rosalindclemons4529
    @rosalindclemons4529 Год назад +5

    There will always be one person who critiques everything toy day. I appreciate the information you give to your readers. It makes it a lot easier to understand the mind of a narcissistic person. Thank you

  • @LetsTalkAboutIt23
    @LetsTalkAboutIt23 Год назад +1

    Yup! All the narcissist in my family, parents, sibling, husband. I’m well aware and fully equipped to understand the behavior now. No contact saved my life.

  • @Mllascelles1
    @Mllascelles1 Год назад +2

    I don’t want to offend anyone but it’s a good chuckle when a self aware narc vents about hurting the feelings of the narc collective. I guess they feel the same when survivors jump in comment section and see everyone sharing experiences. Not funny but I did chuckle a little bit when Lee gave the caveat.

  • @heidicyr8676
    @heidicyr8676 Год назад +3

    You're not kidding... he left and by that afternoon he was back with his ex

  • @Savagittarius
    @Savagittarius Год назад +6

    I'm down to be interviewed. I have a unique but textbook narcissist survivor situation. Thank you for taking accountability and enlightening others.

  • @theimagedesign
    @theimagedesign Год назад +11

    Awesome insight and accountability. This one had connection with transparency. I was emotionally infused, touche.

  • @sarafriede7484
    @sarafriede7484 Год назад

    I LAUGHED out loud to myself in my house when Lee said "I'm not moving on to another podcast" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Lee can be funny. But sometimes he really funny.

  • @rockdown3602
    @rockdown3602 Год назад +1

    Have to go NC with both parents. Dad narcissist, mom enabler, both elderly. He would use guilt to say I need to visit my mom for decades. Then use the opportunity when I would visit my mom to tear me down. Was away for last year. He called when she fell and was in hospital. Took two weeks of me wanting to help my mom get into assisted living. He derailed any effort and does not want her to have any input in her own health decisions. As their child, I just can’t witness this and be a part of it any longer. The guilt is real but I have to save my own mental health.

  • @lorraineolivera24
    @lorraineolivera24 Год назад +3

    Lee forget about those negative sensitive people they tripping lol! Stay positive your doing great! 👏👌

  • @calvarado1520
    @calvarado1520 Год назад +7

    Thank you so much Lee….your story and your content does help many of us out here…..👍👏🙏✊

  • @RachelStark-vs3dp
    @RachelStark-vs3dp 5 месяцев назад

    I’m PROUD OF YOU FOR getting help and still getting help. Some don’t know how to even think bout getting help. So A BIG WAY TO GO 🎉🎉🎉🎉They say that’s how you know your doing something right.

  • @lynettedillard8663
    @lynettedillard8663 Год назад +3

    Thank you for sharing this, because people try to say narcissist don't feel, and they do. I'm not a narcissist yet I know someone would have to be some super human not to have any feelings at all.

  • @bombinspawn
    @bombinspawn Год назад

    I'm glad you realized how unproductive and downright lame the behavior of an untreated narcissist is and got help with it. I've always struggled with the sustainability of it over the long term.

  • @ddajani45
    @ddajani45 Год назад

    Eventually it's gonna get unpacked whether they like it or not

  • @gregmanvel
    @gregmanvel Год назад +2

    Regular good people think they could be narcissists, Lee. Narcissists do not have the self-awareness you do. In fact, they would even deny that they were.

  • @WillowForest-q3v
    @WillowForest-q3v 9 дней назад

    I am proud of you. It takes a strong soul to do what you do. You flipped the bad and turned it to help others , victims as well as other narcs. You throw a lifeline and now its up to them to grab it. I am holding onto the lifeline you throw and you are the biggest part of my day. I can get out of bed happy now. I am just now starting to work out and genuinly care about myself again. thank you so much.

  • @fantashiasimmons1733
    @fantashiasimmons1733 Год назад +1

    My child’s fathers mask fell off and has done the exact same thing to me when I got pregnant leaving me to step up and take responsibility for everything even legal matters. On the positive side, I joined the army, my divorce is in process, I’m no longer homeless, I have a car and the necessities that we needed for the baby when he wouldnt step up and do it. All he ever does is put a piece of ass before his family. That man did me grimey as hell and it took me to go on this deployment to realize he was a blessing in disguise. I’m still a little angry with him but eventually I’ll let go of these harbored feelings

  • @maryam5032
    @maryam5032 Год назад +1

    Spot on! He had already his supply ready before I left.. which I didn’t know. My ex is posting pictures of him and his new supply and commenting on how happy he is now etc. but never posted us on social media he always had an excuse 😂

  • @SteelLok
    @SteelLok Год назад +2

    I respect you so much for striving to become a better man. You are one of the lights in this world brother. I broke up with a narcissistic girlfriend and she went back to an ex didn't workout and then a new guy 😂

  • @theneatlist407
    @theneatlist407 Год назад

    Circle back, better keep circling around something, but not me. And you’re right, they don’t want to sit in the shame. They reject it at all costs

  • @Proposal12
    @Proposal12 Год назад +5

    Damn good clarification to know why they move on faster and seem happier, knowing how you explained it brings some relief....Typical "im not good enough for you" is contradiction in itself, making you at first think you are "better"...bs excuse
    Can you also move on fast without being a narc?!
    How do you chose a target on fb?!

  • @Reaper_thecreaper
    @Reaper_thecreaper Год назад +1

    I'm a survivor. I thank you so much. For these videos god bless you.

  • @angelahart1479
    @angelahart1479 Год назад +4

    Thanks Lee. Explains alot. Mind you I'm still sad after my ex narc left. She actually blamed herself never me so that's OK too.

  • @lydiawilliams2167
    @lydiawilliams2167 Год назад

    I don't know what to say, now I know his diagnosis,... You are so on point with everything I have been going through... People have been down his throat for how he has been acting... I'm just glad that if I decide to move on I will feel good about the Good karma I have coming my way... When you are self-aware I'm sure there's accountability that one must face... I remember he told me he knew what he was doing so he's definitely getting karma I don't want to be around when he gets it. All of these symptoms are stemming from pride... It seems like pride is the root to everything you are explaining... You have no idea the level of narcissism I had to face...I'm shocked

  • @rebeccaalen79
    @rebeccaalen79 Год назад +6

    Thank you Lee you're doing amazing healing and helping others heal❤

  • @AnyahEMB
    @AnyahEMB Год назад +3

    Sounds like my ex-husband- on his 3rd marriage. Married and had a child with #2 before we were legally divorced.

  • @donaramis
    @donaramis Год назад +2

    Firstly, there’s always someone else who has beeeen on deck being groomed. Believe that.

  • @luckytango3023
    @luckytango3023 Год назад +2

    You are learning and growing in your personal truth. Facing your truth is a courageous journey. Responsibility and accountability is a discipline and requires self awareness. Thank you for choosing to be transparent. The truth will set you free and keep you free when you stay in it.

  • @risiosanusio9650
    @risiosanusio9650 Год назад

    You're a real man. Everyone needs to sit in the shame and deal with it. Listening to you explain it all. Bless you. I love me l💖M

  • @stevensnailsnbeauty5517
    @stevensnailsnbeauty5517 7 дней назад

    It’s sad that they don’t want help

  • @ulovemex33
    @ulovemex33 Год назад +1

    Wow. This entire video is on point

  • @TigerOnVaseline
    @TigerOnVaseline Год назад +6

    I REALLY could listen to you all day long Lee 👍
    I'm intrigued by this subject and amazed that you have cleared up so many misconceptions in such a short time. I've only recently found you on RUclips and I'm hooked😊
    You're doing sterling work 👌
    You are also rather cute 😉
    PS I'm an old lady residing in the UK so you're safe 😘

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 2 месяца назад +1

    Omg i want them to leave me alone forever and ever

  • @majorsolutionsllc
    @majorsolutionsllc Год назад +3

    Lee, we have to have a virtual party when you get to episode 1000! Getting there.😄

  • @kimberlyharris9712
    @kimberlyharris9712 Год назад +2

    I love the backpack 🎒 analogy Lee. I pray 🙏🏿 several blessings to you and your lovely family ❤️. Thanks to God and you, I'm healing from unhealthy relationships. I acknowledge my role in past toxicity. I pay attention to red flags, and avoid second-guessing. I now trust and act upon my instincts, which has saved me a lot of grief. I'm very proud of the work you do. You are courageous for sharing your story and helping others ☺️.

  • @stacyinvidi113
    @stacyinvidi113 Год назад +3

    I love your videos! 😂you always let us know your a narcissist in therapy. I’m proud of how you thought about getting healed for yourself and wife and kids! You own your behavior and that’s amazing !

  • @ainahaga
    @ainahaga Год назад

    He mirrored me ALOT! It was insane and the chemistry… out of the world….. I feel also I became stronger beeing in this insane relationship. Ive gone back to him several times always beeing treated badly. He never made me feel like he wanted to be with me in the end of the relationship so I guess it was getting to the end of the relationship. Like he did not show that much love anymore, and I need love in a relationship or else I dont need the relationship!

  • @MrsLisa-os5em
    @MrsLisa-os5em Год назад +6

    I appreciate your honesty ❤

  • @JB-cw7oo
    @JB-cw7oo 11 месяцев назад

    Lee I appreciate your view...Thank you a thousand times over, you give me an in mind view not a view from a person that studies the disorder but doesn't live it...ignore the haters

  • @ADebsLife
    @ADebsLife Год назад +1

    This is perhaps my favorite of your videos I've seen so far. Thank you for all the disambiguation!

  • @rhondamathis1323
    @rhondamathis1323 Год назад +1

    You have a good presence

  • @Silverqueen68
    @Silverqueen68 Год назад

    I’m proud of you to be a best version of yourself n work on yourself much respect for that

  • @theresaarriaga1353
    @theresaarriaga1353 Год назад +2

    My ex narc just got married to the new supply. 9 months after our break up. He
    Told me he would never marry. We were together 2 yrs. It was a shock but she is in for a rude awakening.

  • @KKP20111
    @KKP20111 Год назад +2

    Wooow, that's so honest and make a lot of sense! Thank you, Lee!

  • @jadecolbert4286
    @jadecolbert4286 Год назад +1

    I looooooove this video. One of my favorite episodes thank you 👏🏽 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🎉

  • @gennacalvaresi422
    @gennacalvaresi422 Год назад +1

    I love your t-shirt
    I got your back with the skeletons 👍
    They move on fast just like they moved fast with you. Over and over and over, it never ends.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 2 месяца назад

    Let them cry lee they are sensitive as hell

  • @juanaibarra3657
    @juanaibarra3657 Год назад +4

    Omg! You're the best! I love your honesty! Keep it up!🧡

  • @alisaortiz6196
    @alisaortiz6196 Год назад

    Lee I'm grateful for your honesty

  • @isabella-dw8eg
    @isabella-dw8eg Год назад

    Been working on my healing for 3 years now & its nice having reassurance of what I already knew. Thank you lee for helping on my journey to heal and keeping me moving forward. Every now & then Ill miss the narcissist but your videos keep me on the right path

  • @chivonfortney1656
    @chivonfortney1656 Год назад +1

    You are my favorite truth speaking healing up narcissist! 😊

  • @Dayandthelifeofjohaunnaalize
    @Dayandthelifeofjohaunnaalize 10 месяцев назад +1

    🎉 hi mr Hammock
    Its Ebony happy 2024 to u and urs ty for admitting ur faults a s a self aware narcissist a lot of them wont do that.
    I give u and ur wife sooo much respect
    Even though now my ex narcissist died in September of this year I still find myself watching your shows so that I can stay educated about narcissistic abuse so ty for all u do❤

  • @nanaadugyamfi2941
    @nanaadugyamfi2941 Год назад

    Brother I love your education .as someone who is pursuing to be a counsellor and a therapist as career to help impact other I could use your knowledge to enlighten myself and the ones I love as well.
    Peace

  • @StrongLadyZoe
    @StrongLadyZoe Год назад +1

    Very REAL in your talking about the way of which you explain your journey to self awarenes and how other narcisstic persons can be.
    Nice listen to you.
    I want you to know that.
    Thank you Lee. 🙏🏼
    //