Amen! My cousin is a Grade A Narcist and no matter what you try to tell them, or when you help them, they still don't get it. It's never their fault, they live beyond their means, they need you go help them out financially but when it's time to pay back, they hem and haw and sigh that they have their own problems. You are so right they are never there for you when you need it, they don't feel that it's important.
It took me years to understand that saying smh ! It’s been a week no contact and it’s been so hard especially because my kids are constantly calling for their father .. but today I choose ME!!!
Yes they do. My ex Narcissist for twenty four long years Cheated, Lied, created confusion you name it. He was disgusting lied for absolutely no reason.
Yes, yes...and the negative patterns; thinking patterns are pretty much the same, even if the narcissist is from the US, UK, Italy, Asia, Africa, etc. There is definitely a spiritual connection.
I entered into a relationship with a narc. Didn't know there were such personalities as narcs. The universe introduced me to one ,I even married him. ( love bombed) Now with former military training with studying enemies patterns(along with general experience) , I could predict his patterns. Over and over again....ground hog day😂😂. He could not surprise me with pop up visits, love bombings and discards. I just acted like I was not noticing it. 5 months in the marriage, I healed and moved in silence. He was shocked when I disappeared and while occupying the same space. Oh, the notice of the divorce. SURPRISE!! He didn't recognize MY patterns. After that, I knew he start recording conversations and actually tried to make me angry. I start talking about Jesus and how we should be behaving like adults during this endgame.😂 I even had the nerve to ask him if he knew who I really was, (empath the attraction, now turned Super Nova Empath💪🏽‼️ couldn't be around me near the end ) and he would always say " I will pay for it" !?. I also started a journal about a year ago (saw this coming) Documented patterns and events leading up to the patterns. I know I just wrote a novel but I hope someone reading this will take the Narcissistic person in your life seriously. Believe them. Listen closely when they talk about an ex. It will happen to you. One other odd thing that happened was I turned into the opposite of him (empath to the highest degree). I told him on our first date he had 2 years with me. Two years passed and the Universe, Spirit, God , you get it😂, told me to leave now or I would suffer the consequences?! I got to stepping/ running/ skipping out of that wilderness. Now he can't occupy the same space with me! Sometimes the color of the eyes turn black. Real talk...a damned demon. Anyway ,I hope this helps!!
The one i was with thinks she is spiritual leader directly from god and knows all truths. Part of her excuse leaving me was i wouldnt wake up to the calling and join the rest of us. Her words exactly
She blammed her past on others not herself at all, even said something spiritual took over her before in the past relationship when it was failing. But once she left me this time she told me she is so much better, less angry, dont lash out at her kids as much etc etc
I noticed his patterns. Every month he would ask me to marry him after an argument. Most of the time he would tell on himself. He would argue about random things. He couldn't do a month without arguing. Finally I sai" you dont have to plan an argument so you can go cheat".I absolutely hate lairs. So l simply stop communicating with him.
Mine did a "Big problem" one time per month too. 1st step: We argue due to his "error", he didn't recognized It and blocked me. 2nd step: he use thay weekend to go to parties to the disco. 3rd step: Sunday or monday he contacted always telling me the same phrases (sorry for everything, i can't live without you, etc) 4rd step: we continued the relationship in worst conditions than before 5th step: All the cycle again
I recognized the patterns pretty quick, but had no idea what I was dealing with. Add gaslighting to the mix and he had me thoroughly confused. Which was a huge advantage to him. Every 7-10 days something big would happen with him, every holiday; leading up to and after was ruined, every time I was sick, preparing for and recovering from surgery, any time I needed him for ANYTHING he'd cause a fight one way or another. He literally beat me up the night before surgery once and had to carry me into the hospital and I have no idea what the fight was even about. All I was trying to do was get some rest and prepare for being down for a few days. I say this all the time in my posts and to myself, I still can't believe I stayed as long as I did. People please don't stay with abusers, toxic manipulative people, or anyone that doesn't take accountability and keeps repeating the pattern. YOU have to stop it by LEAVING and believing their actions not their words. That's what I've learned from this nightmare.
Oh I understand you predicament Better than most. I'm babyboomer my father beat my mom for 36 yrs til I married a man older than me that threatened my dad. If my mom ever had a bruise on her again. He was going to make him feel as helpless as your wife n children have felt all these years. Then smiled at my dad. He was a psychopath n loved to hurt people. He had a dark side n you didn't want to see it. He used all that in me n turned me into a unfit mother w metal illness before the courts n I lost custody of my daughter for 12 yrs but she turned 18 I'm still in her life n she know the ass he really was towards me
@@Blessme13 I totally relate. My recent ex portrayed himself as someone that loathes abusers of women and children and helps women and children in need, but then abuses me and his own kids (from a previous relationship) behind closed doors. A narc ex from back in my 20s that I had a child with kidnapped our 8 year old son and manipulated the system so that I had to pay child support, yet never see my son. I tried, and tried, and tried repeatedly to get the system to see how he was manipulating everyone and nothing worked. When my son turned 18 he was no longer of use to his Dad because his Dad lost the financial support and he stopped supporting our son and kicked him out, yet never taught him life skills. My son is 30 now, knows now that his Dad is a narcissist, struggles with covert narcissism himself as a result of being raised and abused by his Dad, he's suicidal and still doesn't know how to function in the real world. Even though my son sometimes scares me and his narcissism comes out on me, I can't blame him because he's the result of long term exposure to a narcissist. I am not kidding when say do not stay with toxic people. The damage is long term and affects generations. Please people do not continue to subject yourselves and your children to these people that refuse to take accountability to get help and change their ways. The only reason I even give my own son the time of day is because he's been taking steps towards getting professional help. If that stops then I stop being as active in his life. That's all there is to it.
Jesus Jesus. Lord how mercy indeed Been there. It's the most debilitating horror ever to happen to anyone that tried to love these people man or woman. Just like Lee says remembering the patterns and stay focused. So you don't fall in the trap!! Because that's who they are. Evil as hell with their fake content on loving people and trick them and abuse them hurt them and sometimes killed them. Words to wise . Be extra careful with these demonized folks I tried my best in my marriage married to the same person twice. A total mistake.I've ever made. I'm divorced now 8yrs That man tried to killed me. Because I chose Jesus over him. He was jealous of me my kids and friends If looks could killed . I would of been dead long time ago. I'm free. And never ever going back to that awful crap. I'm at peace and loving me again every bit of life that has for me. Especially my lord and savior Jesus . Be aware!! And let no one dim your light ever. You walk and never return. I did. Took me 13yrs to do it. Didn't know what I was dealing with at the time. Until now. I thought it was womanizing. Thank God for knowing better through RUclips and social media. The Word is out!! Thank you so much Mr. Lee Hammond. Your a God sent . Bless you and your family.
They will often lie about their past to make it look a rosy...trust your intuition and when something goes off inside, pay attention!!! As Lee has said, it will only get worse if you forgive and "forget" they will NEVER forget.
Ya the hardest things that Empaths struggle with is the "But he loves me and I can change him" syndrome. Listen fellow Empath's that doesn't work with these people. You will just be abused verbally at first then it will turn to physical violence. Trust me!!!!!!
Lee is 100% ON POINT! OMG! My ex Narc husband (no worries ya'll...I left him and I am SUPER happy now🤣) I remember when we first started dating, I booked us a get-a-way to a cabin because I just thought he was "stressed" with work (NOT, just his normal way of being that I didn't realize). He even said, "I took her to a cabin too (his ex)." I complimented him on the Salmon he grilled on the seasoned plank while we were there. He said, "I cooked for her too." My dumb ass😂These were the only and very, few moments where he was being truthful. I didn't realize that he was repeating the exact same behaviors with me that he did with his ex. When I asked what happened to them, he said she had a nervous breakdown... left him and he could never get in touch with her again. Again, my naive ass didn't know what NO CONTACT was. Anyway....Lee will help you...truly....if you are in one of these relationships. His transparency helped me and still helps me although I am free...happy....and living my life. I never will make this mistake again. I owe that to myself today and my future self.🙂
You realise after a while what you had to deal with. You don't know in the moment and you want to forgive, because you love the other person and expect him/her to be reasonable, because you are.... nope :)))))
Once I noticed that my husband phucks up EVERY birthday of mine, and EVERY holiday - I treated myself to dinner alone on my last birthday. I'd rather eat and celebrate alone than attempt happiness with him.
I recognized the patterns. My narcissistic ex husband is controlling and abusive. Abused his previous ex wives, violated protective orders. Called his exes crazy. And YES he did the same to me. He had a type, he pursued single mothers, typically with a daughter. I escaped the sunken place.
@RayneyKayLa I was not aware of his history of domestic abuse. He lied. I was not even aware he had been married twice before. He lied. I finally did a background check after we were married and things felt off. At which point I sought counseling for myself. Not co-dependent, but people pleasing, blindly loyal, etc from childhood trauma. I am now healed. Out of that toxic marriage. And moving forward. Lesson learned.
@aieshyadixon7051 I am so sorry to hear you had a similar experience. No one should go through this type of situation. Narcissists are apex predators. Thank God we are free.
Oh Yes they have a pattern!! Both my 2 adult kids are narcissist, I knew this for Years….! But I’m Mom! I Did my BEST to dance around them. ( they’re Dad ( my Ex) went no contact with 1 of them 5 years ago…. I had taken All the responsibility for them since they were born. I Hung in there, But the 1st one I HAD to left Go… #2… in an alcoholic & drug abuser. I TRIED SO HARD ( he’s married) to help him but he got more and more angry- teamed up with his sissy and Did something I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD DO‼️‼️ He’s Gone now too! If these types of people can treat their parents that way…. That’s a HUGE RED FLAG PEOPLE 🚩🚩🚩Stay away or Get Away!!!
lol... mine had a mantra of patterns and recycled his "excuses" over and over.. I heard them soooo many times. ..he didn't even try to get creative w new ones ..one night I goy angry at him for not lying well ...told him his game was weak and he was loosing his charm and manipulation skills ..,,lazy liar ..lol. I was discarded in a most hideous fashion ...he no doubt wanted me to feel every pain imaginable ... its been a year now w no contact ,, he is in jail now for 3 drug felonies in 3 months ///
Right?!!!! I think there's a difference tho. We are supposed to forgive but it doesn't necessarily mean their actions. We can forgive them as a person cuz no ones perfect and most importantly, doesnt mean we HAVE to take them back after forgiving. Fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me.
He knows me better than anyone. I know him better than anyone. After more than 30 years he left me. Financially, emotionally and in all ways. I had to fend for myself and take care of my self. I didn't hear anything from him in 4 years. Then he love bombed me and I fell for it and took him back. Just when I thought we were back and we would make it. Then the ghosting began ALL over again. But this time I AM GONE.
Thank u for confirming. I knew nothing abt narcissism until after I got away from him, but b4 I did I noticed his "patterns." I even told him I was done playing his cat & mouse games. Especially ruining holidays & the disappearing cycle, etc.
I think most people have patterns, that's not always about NPD, but knowing a toxic person's patterns does help in the long run, it helps you dodge some bullets so to speak.
I have a hunch , I will be hoovered by December, if not sometime by March of next year, He hoovered and failed in August. I feel it coming again. He's got a ammunition of supply, but there was not any closure. I was territiary supply. And really amazing supply at that, he was slowly trying to tap into my finances. But I put a stop to it , so he had to work overtime and did not enjoy it. So he discarded . I lied my ass off , I told him I was half way broke, just to test him. Lol. I may not be rich, but was never broke. I just did not want to be used.
@@Girlwithapurse03 jot down their patterns ( if you can ) etc every painful word to you. Love is GOD. Love doesn’t purposefully/ intentionally hurt you! Start researching on what all forms of abuse is ( mental verbal emotional etc because physical is the easiest to understand & see. ) The rest aren’t so easy to see at first. They subtle but very important to understand what abuse tactics are being used. A true lover that wants the best for you would never make you feel less than. Love builds you up especially in your darkest moments! Love is positive ! Abuse is not!!
Calendars prove to bring profound enlightenment in this situation. Also if they communicate mainly by texts, save all of them. In fact, I never heard of a narcissist until I met him.
I am so glad to have found your content, my now ex partner of 7.5 years would become physical if I ever pointed out his negative patterns like not celebrating my achievemnts or birthdays or special occasions (always gave notice ) as it was an inconvenience to his nonexistent plans. Whereas I would always want to celebrate his achievements like promotions at work and birthdays ... otherwise he was a bit of a black hole around the festive holiday season... the patterns are so obvious outside of the relationship! Thanks again for taking the time to explain this great content... It's helping heaps all the way over the globe in Australia 😊😊😊
Of course now I realize all the patterns. Noticed a lot towards the end and planned my exit. Fighting every 2 weeks got very explosive bills were due and it was his way of trying to avoid me and paying bills and causing fights to cheat. Very sad. It's easy to see it all now but in the middle of it just kept wondering what the heck is going on...so sweet in the beginning but soon was living with a monster
Omg they do have patterns My X fiancé has them and he never grow or learn do the same thing over and over even when it isn't working. I am speaking specially about how he relates to women and relationships. But also in eating patterns, etc. He is relentless. Has had many relationships (and four marriages) and NEVER changes how he does them. He lied to me about what happened to them and of coarse now I see but he blamed them and made it look like he was innocent, and now he is doing the same with me. But it astounds me that he doesn't ever learn and do things differently bc it hurts Him! I dont really get it I think it is indicative of his mental illness- he is out of touch with reality. Trippy.
He has almost 6-7 same patterns that he’a been using for 1.5 years, now he has become so predictable, I feel no fear of the narc! I have my boundaries and he is out if he repeats the patterns, every time, he is being shown the way out!
Yes, his patterns and my intuition led his narcissist a** out tha door for good and me to a better place. Big single, celibate, livin and lovin me. #stillhealing #stillbreathing #strong #healthy #focused #highvibrations #HappyAF
Intuition, amen. I felt my intuition had never been more tuned in than with the narcissist. But of course everything was a denial. Why can’t they just say they’re not ready for a full relationship?? Instead of lying , it’s not as fun and provocative for them if they were to be honest.
Yup!!!! ACCURATE! Every time he is able to get a new job and get back on his feet again, he’s out! Until he gets fired (again), or “they lied to me or misled me “, realizes the grass is not greener on the other side🙄… He Hoovers his back around like a boomerang, and has a sob story, how life is unfair to him, and he feels this is the end… 🤦🏾♀️
Oh yes! I caught onto my ex narcs patterns big time. He couldn't stand it that I knew what he was gonna do, or what he was doing by his patterns. And he follows the same patterns with all of his new supplies.
The worst thing you can do with a toxic narc person is having the mindset that you will be different and can help them that savior mind set will set you up for a narcissist abuse sad but true they love and seek out people with that mindset!
My ex quoted hes a creature of habit. Its absolutely true. Hes had all the addictions you can think of and starts getting bored with people 6-8 months. I feel for him but this is his journey and i no longer want to be part of it.
I saw patterns in the way he treated new work mates and dealers, down to speaking the same phrases to them ( boy did my eyes roll ), but did I notice it in the way he treated me. Of course not!! Felt real stoopid when I did figure it out. Left a year ago, what an emotional disaster area I've been ... finally started to string good days together a couple months back, it's become good weeks now. Even with devastating medical diagnosis in that same time period I can still pull out of the sadness and remember it as a good day ... Please leave when you have the chance, yes it will be hard, yes it will suck, yes you'll be sad, yes you'll cry and yes I thought I'd never be anything but an emotional wreck, but surprise to me there are times that I'm actually happy and it's happening more and more often...
The smack that they talk about their ex is the same smack that they will talk on you. Their bad behavior gets about the same reaction with each new person and so they like to frame everyone the same way without taking accountability. On a smaller time line, they will always need more and more freedoms, while imprisoning you more and more. Sometimes you are going to have to go way out of your way, not to give these folks a narccisistic injury when they have these patterns and need to think a certain way about you.
I recognized the pattern of my exwife when I realized she was a narc. The same way she left her exhusband and moved with me, I figured she would do the same and filed for custody prior to her doing it to move out of state. She remarried the same dude she left to move states and be with me then tried the exact same move. I saw it coming and got custody of our son. No surprises for me but she was shocked. 😅
This is what I'm struggling with right now. He is saying he will change and promising that he will do whatever it takes but it's been over 3 months since he made promises. What scares me is his pattern of anger and impatience , especially with our kids.
sadly the best thing about your getting into therapy and changing your behaviour etc is that the wisdom is absolutely a slap in the face wake up when we fall back into toxic shaming and self esteem sabotaging i hope the women or anyone who you affected are happy now and by you helping stop others being harmed is you making amends
I am not in a romantic relationship with mine (havent been for years). I have him sussed and he knows it. I am no longer confused by him, I actually feel sympathy for him. However he has a pattern and he comes to find me on average of every 16 weeks for moral support and then disappears again (I am ok with this). I noticed this particular pattern and started noting his appearance every 16 weeks on a calendar? Why he does this I'm not sure but he 100% has a pattern with this and everthing else...
I was in a relationship with a married woman, realised she is a narcissist, 100%, what are the odds I am not the first person she cheated her husband with? I am grateful I got out because I really trully loved her and now I realise I was going to be the next one she will cheat :))))
She would tell me she was home sleeping all day because of her new meds, or sick,but was really out cheat. She used that trick a few times. I caught her in it and she just laughed at me. It's just a big game to them so they can feel smarter than you. So childish.
My ex tried to hurt me with her new dude....let him talk to our 3 daughters any way he wanted....threatened to get me outta there....got my mom outta here 😢....but I stayed strong with no contact, and he eventually told my daughter that I was right about her mom 🤦🏽♂️ I read her mind like a book that I wrote 😎
My wife runs obstruction, sabotages events, purposely tries to create animosity between my family and others. I've watched her pattern. After a couple of years of marriage, she claims that she's now seeing the "real me," I told her that now I'm seeing the real her. Triggered!! I've noticed her pattern, over and over and over...............infinity. Wow.
He hasn't reached out to see his 5 year old in 5 years. My dad, no contact for 2 years. No contact my ex husband 2 months. I am learning now to heal whatever it is attracting these people. 😊
I figured this out, it’s like a circle with him and his moods. Starts good and looks promising (I know there’s no hope) then all the moods follow until the Big Bang and it starts all over again and again. He also has patterns in his daily life, does certain things at certain times and if he can’t he will have a horrible rage and trash things around him.
I'm so switched on to these behaviours,regardless of whether someone is diagnosed or not. If it becomes regular I'm gone,not waiting to see if things change or not,if I'm in any kind of " relationship ",social,work,friend or family not tolerating it. I don't care if I end up with only a few people round me,they'll be the people I can grow with,love and support and be safe with.
My Narc worked for her dad, not that she acknowledges they are even related (I only found out she had lied that he wasn't long after the fact) and he is hands off on the business. But for her it is like a perpetual engine of Narc supply, as soon as one of us has had enough with her or she has had enough of someone... Up goes wanted ads rinse repeat every few months. In the meantime the business stagnates because any progress is reset every 6-8 months. Daddy doesn't notice so long as his takings are there. Even though logic should dictate it's pretty weird no one leaves on good terms... EVER.
I definitely never been gaslighted to that extent where he used my memory issues against me i really didn’t know what was real as far as my emotions then i blames myself cuz i felt like i was always doing something wrong but we never talked about what he did wrong
Yes constantly cheating forgot my birthday every year though was reminded. Now he's in jail because a woman he was cheating with pressed charges on him...happy to be free of it. We have a child so ill have to deal with him eventually but atleast not in a relationship anymore
Omg everything you are saying is so true, I’ve been married to a narcissist for 9 years, the Lord told me to get Ordained. So my Pastor ordained me, instead of my husband giving me congratulations he made my Ordination all about him😮 the congregation was looking at him upside his head. So one day he said to me, you think you better then me because you Preaching now😮Omg. I gave him the blues I told him if you keep your temple cleaned maybe God will call you too but you stay so cloudy only thing I see around you are showers and storms😂😂😂😂 He said you think you funny😂😂😂
Hi Lee. Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject from an inside perspective. Your content is always spot on and humorous in delivery. You help us help and understand people who have not come to inner realization of what is going on inside of them and label their behavior as normal and view everyone else as abnormal. Keep up the good work. Your content helps to dismantle the narcissistic pandemic that has been playing the entire world regardless of skin color or status.
They have very definately patterns.. It was the patterns of his contact with his ex on what'sapp.. .. That told me he was cheating. What's funny is he thinks he is so unique and unpredictable... In reality his patterns were as predictable as a dog.
This was a good one! This does allow you to maneuver better on your terms and not their false narrative and to stay convicted of your own value and worth. You cant allow someone to determine your value because only God determines your value and your worth at the end of your life.
Yep Lee I figured out his patterns of behavior and then I became a delusional, idiot with mental disorder let him tell it because I was able to see him. Also another red flag was when he started repeating stuff to me to devalue me that he repeated some words to me that he said about his two ex wives. I remembered that he said those things about them then I started to break him all the way down to his core. Yes the domestic violence charges too didn't make since. I figured out that everything was the reverse or everything and that he was faking being phony and that he really didn't know himself I became arch enemy of the state. Then I filed for a divorce he didn't like that I filed first because he was used too using up the person first then discarded them and they had no clue. I kept it all the way 1000% then he became the victim all of sudden I told that he is a piece of Sh!t and that he wasn't crap and that he was a 3 headed wolf the pulls the wool over people's eyes just to use them up and take from them. I told him that he doesn't have his own identity and that he is fake. I told him that he will never be able to be by himself nor with only one woman because he used to taking the most valuable thing from a person that make them who their core self is I told him that he was a soul sucker and a spiritual parasite and a leech and that he was a space shifter and that he was like a cancer that kill a person from the inside out I told him that he's the boy who cried wolf the wolf in sheep's clothing and the boy that sells wolf tickets and that he's a pathological liar and that he puts a facade in front of people and that he mimics other because he doesn't know who his core self is because his mommy and daddy didn't pour in to him as a child and that he was Nothing but a broken little boy looking for attention and that his momma and daddy dropped the ball because they poured into everyone else in the church but you and your siblings I called him out on so manything Lee that he tries to make my life harder and when I did talk to the ex wife she confirmed a lot of things I'm still going through divorce he as switched lawyers several times this is lawyer number 4 and going on 11 months because I'm not going he's used to playing all the games and divorcing within 5 or 6 months and the person not know what happened I guess I would be considered an empath but a spiritual one.
You are right on point. Watching them do their thing can make you physically ill. Helps to say no when they try to come back. We were good togther but... nahhhh. I'm good.
My abusive ex husband remarried immediately, yet after I divorced him, he kept harassing me for 8 years while he was re-married…she believed all of his lies at first, then he eventually abused her too. They were married 9 years, but were getting a divorce, she filed a restraining order against him during her divorce proceedings. ……Exactly the same pattern with wife #2
My narcissistic ex-husband pulled the same tactic on me as he did his late wife. He threatened to divorce her if she didn’t stop attending her church. So she unfortunately stopped attending her church. However, when he pulled that on me, we got divorced. He ended a little fe that was good , not perfect, but good. He lost more than I did.
Mine likes it when I call him my little boy. Spoiled child. So I broke up with him. Told him why . Anyway, since he’s East Indian, always allow them to save face. He calls as if nothing happened. Told him I have two friends. He knows who they are and realized he wasn’t included. I told him he has hurt me deeply. So the rant began . Wouldn’t let me speak, so I hung up on him. Two days later he calls as if nothing happened. Such an empty child. Can’t ever not care about him. But the dynamic has changed. So he’s called twice in the past week as if nothing has happened.
I'm going to make an appointment with you at some point but what I thought was interesting was my narcissist would always talk s*** about his friends and family but yet he would post on his Instagram about them and how much fun he was having with them or how amazing things were between them when it was the complete opposite when he would text me about them 🤔 I started to wonder if his friends knew what he was saying about them or what he was even saying about me... The other thing that was weird was I would say you should go see the Chicago Bean for instance and he would tell me I want nothing to do with the Chicago Bean but then all the sudden when he was in chicago, he posted pictures of himself with the Chicago Bean.... It was just so confusing Lee I can't even describe it but I guess it was patterns. The other thing too was he jumped from college to college to job to job so, you're right about that!! ❤ Appreciate you Lee
My husband just woke up to the fact that he's a Narc. No diagnosis but my daughter was the 1st to figure it out it's bad.He started therapy, but my therapist is helping me keep it real. I am trying to give up hope but i can't. These videos are so validating. Thanks for all ypu do.hoping my narc can learn from you too one day. He ain't there yet
Wow thank you again Lee ❤ for this great info. Who knew patterns were so important to Identify a very Toxic person. That Love truly Blinds Us and we are over and over again forgiving the unforgivable. Again and again PATTERNS. God help us open those eyes cus We trully dont deserve that type of treatment. No body dose. We need to show ourselfs how to love ourselfs. The way our Savior Jesus Christ. Loves Us.
Had this reminder for the billionth time last night bc it’s soo true you will be in a repeat cycle of everything !! But I’m pretty sure Lee following the trail of “bull” “craps” would of been more appropriate than hoofs 😂🙌 but all in all you are soooooo right !!!! ❤
0:08 Definitely noticed that, I can tell them what they are gonna do before they do it, then they deny it, and do exactly what I said they were gonna do...
Thanx Lee!!🙏🏾 Wasn't until I accepted God in my life 2+yrs ago that I started learning about myself and how I got here in life... Raised, dated & mated, friended Narc after Narc without knowing it! Thinking 'everyone is crazy weird'... I was Finally able to recognize THE PATTERNS and this video is 💯% FACTZ. Thank You for your Healing that's helping Sooo many others heal too 🤲🏾
He would always tell me that I was pushing him away but he ws the one forcing me to leave him because of his verbal abuse, but when we would speak again he would say that I was pushing him away and he was going to move on..🤔🙄i'm like....."you already been moved on! even while we were together🤦♀🤷! His patterns were getiing so damn predictable.
😢 man... it has been the hardest 70 days after my break up, your videos have helped me sort of understand the why's? It breaks my heart that i can't talk to her, the break up happened through texts, never thought we were going to break up, last time we seen eachother we had dinner with her family, and her kid.... to just blocked.... it makes no sense...
@@derekmarks8969 im sorry brother, that shit really does some interal damage down the road, when u meet someone else new, its like you go back to that same scenario, and dont wanna make the same mistake, when in fact they were the ones doing the wrongful doing.
"When someone shows you who they are...believe them." - Maya Angelou
Amen! My cousin is a Grade A Narcist and no matter what you try to tell them, or when you help them, they still don't get it. It's never their fault, they live beyond their means, they need you go help them out financially but when it's time to pay back, they hem and haw and sigh that they have their own problems. You are so right they are never there for you when you need it, they don't feel that it's important.
@@laminageThey are transactional so if they do something”nice” it’s only because they want or see something they are getting in return.
It took me years to understand that saying smh ! It’s been a week no contact and it’s been so hard especially because my kids are constantly calling for their father .. but today I choose ME!!!
As true as true can be.
The first time!!
Yes they do. My ex Narcissist for twenty four long years Cheated, Lied, created confusion you name it. He was disgusting lied for absolutely no reason.
They would never admit to blame in previous relationships
Yes, yes...and the negative patterns; thinking patterns are pretty much the same, even if the narcissist is from the US, UK, Italy, Asia, Africa, etc. There is definitely a spiritual connection.
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Same cult
I entered into a relationship with a narc. Didn't know there were such personalities as narcs. The universe introduced me to one ,I even married him. ( love bombed) Now with former military training with studying enemies patterns(along with general experience) , I could predict his patterns. Over and over again....ground hog day😂😂. He could not surprise me with pop up visits, love bombings and discards. I just acted like I was not noticing it. 5 months in the marriage, I healed and moved in silence. He was shocked when I disappeared and while occupying the same space. Oh, the notice of the divorce. SURPRISE!! He didn't recognize MY patterns. After that, I knew he start recording conversations and actually tried to make me angry. I start talking about Jesus and how we should be behaving like adults during this endgame.😂 I even had the nerve to ask him if he knew who I really was, (empath the attraction, now turned Super Nova Empath💪🏽‼️ couldn't be around me near the end ) and he would always say " I will pay for it" !?. I also started a journal about a year ago (saw this coming) Documented patterns and events leading up to the patterns.
I know I just wrote a novel but I hope someone reading this will take the Narcissistic person in your life seriously. Believe them. Listen closely when they talk about an ex. It will happen to you. One other odd thing that happened was I turned into the opposite of him (empath to the highest degree). I told him on our first date he had 2 years with me. Two years passed and the Universe, Spirit, God , you get it😂, told me to leave now or I would suffer the consequences?! I got to stepping/ running/ skipping out of that wilderness. Now he can't occupy the same space with me! Sometimes the color of the eyes turn black. Real talk...a damned demon. Anyway ,I hope this helps!!
The one i was with thinks she is spiritual leader directly from god and knows all truths. Part of her excuse leaving me was i wouldnt wake up to the calling and join the rest of us. Her words exactly
She blammed her past on others not herself at all, even said something spiritual took over her before in the past relationship when it was failing. But once she left me this time she told me she is so much better, less angry, dont lash out at her kids as much etc etc
I noticed his patterns. Every month he would ask me to marry him after an argument. Most of the time he would tell on himself. He would argue about random things. He couldn't do a month without arguing. Finally I sai" you dont have to plan an argument so you can go cheat".I absolutely hate lairs. So l simply stop communicating with him.
Mine did a "Big problem" one time per month too.
1st step: We argue due to his "error", he didn't recognized It and blocked me.
2nd step: he use thay weekend to go to parties to the disco. 3rd step: Sunday or monday he contacted always telling me the same phrases (sorry for everything, i can't live without you, etc)
4rd step: we continued the relationship in worst conditions than before
5th step: All the cycle again
dam i told him that to smh
Damn they should be tired of being on repeat that shit depressing to think about 😂😂😂😂😢
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Once you learn them (narcissist) there is nothing new about them. They are just on “ repeat “. The same vicious cycle.
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I recognized the patterns pretty quick, but had no idea what I was dealing with. Add gaslighting to the mix and he had me thoroughly confused. Which was a huge advantage to him. Every 7-10 days something big would happen with him, every holiday; leading up to and after was ruined, every time I was sick, preparing for and recovering from surgery, any time I needed him for ANYTHING he'd cause a fight one way or another. He literally beat me up the night before surgery once and had to carry me into the hospital and I have no idea what the fight was even about. All I was trying to do was get some rest and prepare for being down for a few days. I say this all the time in my posts and to myself, I still can't believe I stayed as long as I did.
People please don't stay with abusers, toxic manipulative people, or anyone that doesn't take accountability and keeps repeating the pattern. YOU have to stop it by LEAVING and believing their actions not their words. That's what I've learned from this nightmare.
ACTIONS not words…. Yes Yes & Yes, thank you survivor 🙏🏽
Oh I understand you predicament Better than most. I'm babyboomer my father beat my mom for 36 yrs til I married a man older than me that threatened my dad. If my mom ever had a bruise on her again. He was going to make him feel as helpless as your wife n children have felt all these years. Then smiled at my dad.
He was a psychopath n loved to hurt people. He had a dark side n you didn't want to see it.
He used all that in me n turned me into a unfit mother w metal illness before the courts n I lost custody of my daughter for 12 yrs but she turned 18 I'm still in her life n she know the ass he really was towards me
@@Blessme13 I totally relate. My recent ex portrayed himself as someone that loathes abusers of women and children and helps women and children in need, but then abuses me and his own kids (from a previous relationship) behind closed doors.
A narc ex from back in my 20s that I had a child with kidnapped our 8 year old son and manipulated the system so that I had to pay child support, yet never see my son. I tried, and tried, and tried repeatedly to get the system to see how he was manipulating everyone and nothing worked. When my son turned 18 he was no longer of use to his Dad because his Dad lost the financial support and he stopped supporting our son and kicked him out, yet never taught him life skills.
My son is 30 now, knows now that his Dad is a narcissist, struggles with covert narcissism himself as a result of being raised and abused by his Dad, he's suicidal and still doesn't know how to function in the real world.
Even though my son sometimes scares me and his narcissism comes out on me, I can't blame him because he's the result of long term exposure to a narcissist.
I am not kidding when say do not stay with toxic people. The damage is long term and affects generations. Please people do not continue to subject yourselves and your children to these people that refuse to take accountability to get help and change their ways. The only reason I even give my own son the time of day is because he's been taking steps towards getting professional help. If that stops then I stop being as active in his life. That's all there is to it.
Jesus Jesus. Lord how mercy indeed Been there. It's the most debilitating horror ever to happen to anyone that tried to love these people man or woman. Just like Lee says remembering the patterns and stay focused. So you don't fall in the trap!! Because that's who they are. Evil as hell with their fake content on loving people and trick them and abuse them hurt them and sometimes killed them. Words to wise . Be extra careful with these demonized folks
I tried my best in my marriage married to the same person twice. A total mistake.I've ever made. I'm divorced now 8yrs That man tried to killed me. Because I chose Jesus over him. He was jealous of me my kids and friends If looks could killed . I would of been dead long time ago. I'm free. And never ever going back to that awful crap. I'm at peace and loving me again every bit of life that has for me. Especially my lord and savior Jesus . Be aware!! And let no one dim your light ever. You walk and never return. I did. Took me 13yrs to do it. Didn't know what I was dealing with at the time. Until now. I thought it was womanizing. Thank God for knowing better through RUclips and social media. The Word is out!! Thank you so much Mr. Lee Hammond. Your a God sent . Bless you and your family.
Yes indeed
all true but for most people you don’t know this until you’re already trauma bonded and a few years in
They will often lie about their past to make it look a rosy...trust your intuition and when something goes off inside, pay attention!!! As Lee has said, it will only get worse if you forgive and "forget" they will NEVER forget.
Yep same old patterns… Never change… Never take accountability… Do not care about anyone but themselves. Most Selfish humans you will ever encounter.
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Over an over an over (Groundhog) day it truly was ridiculous I got PTSD from letting the Ex live in my home for years Never Ever Again
Ya the hardest things that Empaths struggle with is the "But he loves me and I can change him" syndrome. Listen fellow Empath's that doesn't work with these people. You will just be abused verbally at first then it will turn to physical violence. Trust me!!!!!!
Lee is 100% ON POINT! OMG! My ex Narc husband (no worries ya'll...I left him and I am SUPER happy now🤣) I remember when we first started dating, I booked us a get-a-way to a cabin because I just thought he was "stressed" with work (NOT, just his normal way of being that I didn't realize). He even said, "I took her to a cabin too (his ex)." I complimented him on the Salmon he grilled on the seasoned plank while we were there. He said, "I cooked for her too." My dumb ass😂These were the only and very, few moments where he was being truthful. I didn't realize that he was repeating the exact same behaviors with me that he did with his ex. When I asked what happened to them, he said she had a nervous breakdown... left him and he could never get in touch with her again. Again, my naive ass didn't know what NO CONTACT was. Anyway....Lee will help you...truly....if you are in one of these relationships. His transparency helped me and still helps me although I am free...happy....and living my life. I never will make this mistake again. I owe that to myself today and my future self.🙂
You realise after a while what you had to deal with. You don't know in the moment and you want to forgive, because you love the other person and expect him/her to be reasonable, because you are.... nope :)))))
Once I noticed that my husband phucks up EVERY birthday of mine, and EVERY holiday - I treated myself to dinner alone on my last birthday. I'd rather eat and celebrate alone than attempt happiness with him.
I recognized the patterns. My narcissistic ex husband is controlling and abusive. Abused his previous ex wives, violated protective orders. Called his exes crazy. And YES he did the same to me. He had a type, he pursued single mothers, typically with a daughter. I escaped the sunken place.
Did u ask yourself why you ignored all the red flags ? Codependency!!!!
@RayneyKayLa I was not aware of his history of domestic abuse. He lied. I was not even aware he had been married twice before. He lied. I finally did a background check after we were married and things felt off. At which point I sought counseling for myself. Not co-dependent, but people pleasing, blindly loyal, etc from childhood trauma. I am now healed. Out of that toxic marriage. And moving forward. Lesson learned.
So f’ing gross.
Wow...your story sounds exactly like mine. I was the 3rd wife to an abuser who lied about his ENTIRE past.
@aieshyadixon7051 I am so sorry to hear you had a similar experience. No one should go through this type of situation. Narcissists are apex predators. Thank God we are free.
Yes, narcissists have patterns, cycles.
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Everybody has patterns
Oh Yes they have a pattern!! Both my 2 adult kids are narcissist, I knew this for Years….! But I’m Mom! I Did my BEST to dance around them. ( they’re Dad ( my Ex) went no contact with 1 of them 5 years ago…. I had taken All the responsibility for them since they were born. I Hung in there, But the 1st one I HAD to left Go… #2… in an alcoholic & drug abuser. I TRIED SO HARD ( he’s married) to help him but he got more and more angry- teamed up with his sissy and Did something I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD DO‼️‼️ He’s Gone now too! If these types of people can treat their parents that way…. That’s a HUGE RED FLAG PEOPLE 🚩🚩🚩Stay away or Get Away!!!
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lol... mine had a mantra of patterns and recycled his "excuses" over and over.. I heard them soooo many times. ..he didn't even try to get creative w new ones ..one night I goy angry at him for not lying well ...told him his game was weak and he was loosing his charm and manipulation skills ..,,lazy liar ..lol. I was discarded in a most hideous fashion ...he no doubt wanted me to feel every pain imaginable ... its been a year now w no contact ,, he is in jail now for 3 drug felonies in 3 months ///
Funny how spirituality is always saying forgive, when forgiving is what got you stuck in the first place.
Right?!!!! I think there's a difference tho. We are supposed to forgive but it doesn't necessarily mean their actions. We can forgive them as a person cuz no ones perfect and most importantly, doesnt mean we HAVE to take them back after forgiving. Fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me.
@natztalk mainly forgiving ourselves is most important.
We misunderstood the true meaning of forgiveness
Forgiving a person doesn't mean you have to fw them. You can forgive and still move on.
He knows me better than anyone.
I know him better than anyone.
After more than 30 years he left me. Financially, emotionally and in all ways. I had to fend for myself and take care of my self. I didn't hear anything from him in 4 years. Then he love bombed me and I fell for it and took him back. Just when I thought we were back and we would make it. Then the ghosting began ALL over again. But this time I AM GONE.
Constructive criticism = Anger/rage. Then again. EVERYTHING said elicited anger/rage
Narcissist are the real Halloween. Thats how scary they are. Madness. Run!!!
Yes
My narcissist will tire me out with excessive talking for hours only to not talk for a few days😅
Thank u for confirming. I knew nothing abt narcissism until after I got away from him, but b4 I did I noticed his "patterns." I even told him I was done playing his cat & mouse games. Especially ruining holidays & the disappearing cycle, etc.
Yessss me too
I think most people have patterns, that's not always about NPD, but knowing a toxic person's patterns does help in the long run, it helps you dodge some bullets so to speak.
I have a hunch , I will be hoovered by December, if not sometime by March of next year, He hoovered and failed in August. I feel it coming again. He's got a ammunition of supply, but there was not any closure. I was territiary supply. And really amazing supply at that, he was slowly trying to tap into my finances. But I put a stop to it , so he had to work overtime and did not enjoy it. So he discarded . I lied my ass off , I told him I was half way broke, just to test him. Lol. I may not be rich, but was never broke. I just did not want to be used.
I started the same patterns, just like my narcissistic boyfriend, and it's killing him and I'm laughing my ass off!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Teach me the ways 😩 I dont know how not to love when I’m in love
I started doing the same thing. They started crying and made me feel like poo for "making them feel bad"
@@Girlwithapurse03 take the blinders off and stop seeing them hoe you want to see them and see exactly what they are showing you.
@@Girlwithapurse03 jot down their patterns ( if you can ) etc every painful word to you. Love is GOD. Love doesn’t purposefully/ intentionally hurt you! Start researching on what all forms of abuse is ( mental verbal emotional etc because physical is the easiest to understand & see. ) The rest aren’t so easy to see at first. They subtle but very important to understand what abuse tactics are being used. A true lover that wants the best for you would never make you feel less than. Love builds you up especially in your darkest moments! Love is positive ! Abuse is not!!
Calendars prove to bring profound enlightenment in this situation. Also if they communicate mainly by texts, save all of them. In fact, I never heard of a narcissist until I met him.
That's what I do😂 everything he's done to me is in text.
@@NatzTalk same here! Film at 11🤣🤣🤣
I am so glad to have found your content, my now ex partner of 7.5 years would become physical if I ever pointed out his negative patterns like not celebrating my achievemnts or birthdays or special occasions (always gave notice ) as it was an inconvenience to his nonexistent plans. Whereas I would always want to celebrate his achievements like promotions at work and birthdays ... otherwise he was a bit of a black hole around the festive holiday season... the patterns are so obvious outside of the relationship!
Thanks again for taking the time to explain this great content... It's helping heaps all the way over the globe in Australia 😊😊😊
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Yes, they do. They never evolve as humans. You Lee are a rare narc. You took a look at yourself. Most do not.
Of course now I realize all the patterns. Noticed a lot towards the end and planned my exit. Fighting every 2 weeks got very explosive bills were due and it was his way of trying to avoid me and paying bills and causing fights to cheat. Very sad. It's easy to see it all now but in the middle of it just kept wondering what the heck is going on...so sweet in the beginning but soon was living with a monster
Narcissistic Robot rebooting 🤖🤖🤖🤖😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭
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FLASHBACKS 😅😅... EXTREMELY TRUE!!!!
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Patterns are one of the first things I recognize 😉
Preach! They seriously have the same patterns and do the same thing over and over 🤍🤍🙌🏿
Omg they do have patterns My X fiancé has them and he never grow or learn do the same thing over and over even when it isn't working. I am speaking specially about how he relates to women and relationships. But also in eating patterns, etc. He is relentless. Has had many relationships (and four marriages) and NEVER changes how he does them. He lied to me about what happened to them and of coarse now I see but he blamed them and made it look like he was innocent, and now he is doing the same with me. But it astounds me that he doesn't ever learn and do things differently bc it hurts Him! I dont really get it I think it is indicative of his mental illness- he is out of touch with reality. Trippy.
You're a life saver and a blessing!
Your Narcissist Robot comment is everything 😂. It made me laugh so hard 🤣
Thank you for all you do!
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He has almost 6-7 same patterns that he’a been using for 1.5 years, now he has become so predictable, I feel no fear of the narc! I have my boundaries and he is out if he repeats the patterns, every time, he is being shown the way out!
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Yes, his patterns and my intuition led his narcissist a** out tha door for good and me to a better place. Big single, celibate, livin and lovin me. #stillhealing #stillbreathing #strong #healthy #focused #highvibrations #HappyAF
Intuition, amen. I felt my intuition had never been more tuned in than with the narcissist. But of course everything was a denial. Why can’t they just say they’re not ready for a full relationship?? Instead of lying , it’s not as fun and provocative for them if they were to be honest.
Yup!!!! ACCURATE!
Every time he is able to get a new job and get back on his feet again, he’s out! Until he gets fired (again), or “they lied to me or misled me “, realizes the grass is not greener on the other side🙄… He Hoovers his back around like a boomerang, and has a sob story, how life is unfair to him, and he feels this is the end… 🤦🏾♀️
Oh yes! I caught onto my ex narcs patterns big time. He couldn't stand it that I knew what he was gonna do, or what he was doing by his patterns. And he follows the same patterns with all of his new supplies.
The worst thing you can do with a toxic narc person is having the mindset that you will be different and can help them that savior mind set will set you up for a narcissist abuse sad but true they love and seek out people with that mindset!
My ex quoted hes a creature of habit. Its absolutely true. Hes had all the addictions you can think of and starts getting bored with people 6-8 months.
I feel for him but this is his journey and i no longer want to be part of it.
I saw patterns in the way he treated new work mates and dealers, down to speaking the same phrases to them ( boy did my eyes roll ), but did I notice it in the way he treated me. Of course not!! Felt real stoopid when I did figure it out. Left a year ago, what an emotional disaster area I've been ... finally started to string good days together a couple months back, it's become good weeks now. Even with devastating medical diagnosis in that same time period I can still pull out of the sadness and remember it as a good day ...
Please leave when you have the chance, yes it will be hard, yes it will suck, yes you'll be sad, yes you'll cry and yes I thought I'd never be anything but an emotional wreck, but surprise to me there are times that I'm actually happy and it's happening more and more often...
Yes they do. They always play the victim
The smack that they talk about their ex is the same smack that they will talk on you. Their bad behavior gets about the same reaction with each new person and so they like to frame everyone the same way without taking accountability. On a smaller time line, they will always need more and more freedoms, while imprisoning you more and more. Sometimes you are going to have to go way out of your way, not to give these folks a narccisistic injury when they have these patterns and need to think a certain way about you.
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I recognized the pattern of my exwife when I realized she was a narc. The same way she left her exhusband and moved with me, I figured she would do the same and filed for custody prior to her doing it to move out of state. She remarried the same dude she left to move states and be with me then tried the exact same move. I saw it coming and got custody of our son. No surprises for me but she was shocked. 😅
😂😂😂😂 she was shooketh
This is what I'm struggling with right now. He is saying he will change and promising that he will do whatever it takes but it's been over 3 months since he made promises. What scares me is his pattern of anger and impatience , especially with our kids.
I have learned that words are nothing until you are shown actual actions to back them up.
sadly the best thing about your getting into therapy and changing your behaviour etc is that the wisdom is absolutely a slap in the face wake up when we fall back into toxic shaming and self esteem sabotaging
i hope the women or anyone who you affected are happy now and by you helping stop others being harmed is you making amends
I am not in a romantic relationship with mine (havent been for years). I have him sussed and he knows it. I am no longer confused by him, I actually feel sympathy for him. However he has a pattern and he comes to find me on average of every 16 weeks for moral support and then disappears again (I am ok with this). I noticed this particular pattern and started noting his appearance every 16 weeks on a calendar? Why he does this I'm not sure but he 100% has a pattern with this and everthing else...
I was in a relationship with a married woman, realised she is a narcissist, 100%, what are the odds I am not the first person she cheated her husband with? I am grateful I got out because I really trully loved her and now I realise I was going to be the next one she will cheat :))))
She would tell me she was home sleeping all day because of her new meds, or sick,but was really out cheat. She used that trick a few times. I caught her in it and she just laughed at me. It's just a big game to them so they can feel smarter than you. So childish.
It is a pattern - wotever he did to me, he followed the same pattern with the other ex girlfriends
They love to say, you cant let go of the past. Umm no because Im pointing out your pattern.
Exactly 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯!!!
My ex tried to hurt me with her new dude....let him talk to our 3 daughters any way he wanted....threatened to get me outta there....got my mom outta here 😢....but I stayed strong with no contact, and he eventually told my daughter that I was right about her mom 🤦🏽♂️ I read her mind like a book that I wrote 😎
My wife runs obstruction, sabotages events, purposely tries to create animosity between my family and others. I've watched her pattern. After a couple of years of marriage, she claims that she's now seeing the "real me," I told her that now I'm seeing the real her. Triggered!! I've noticed her pattern, over and over and over...............infinity. Wow.
Omg. "When you forgive them for stuff they have done to somebody else, you're opening yourself up to abuse" ooof
He hasn't reached out to see his 5 year old in 5 years. My dad, no contact for 2 years. No contact my ex husband 2 months. I am learning now to heal whatever it is attracting these people. 😊
I figured this out, it’s like a circle with him and his moods. Starts good and looks promising (I know there’s no hope) then all the moods follow until the Big Bang and it starts all over again and again.
He also has patterns in his daily life, does certain things at certain times and if he can’t he will have a horrible rage and trash things around him.
the cycle continues
Maybe we dated same person😂😂😂 seriously tho, mine was the EXACT same.
I literally just had this conversation with my mom about her toxic sisters… you’re the BEST Lee thank you!!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
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Dang, I kept saying to the narcissist you have patterns that is not healthy.. it throws me at 58 years old that life stays in a circle for him.
I'm so switched on to these behaviours,regardless of whether someone is diagnosed or not. If it becomes regular I'm gone,not waiting to see if things change or not,if I'm in any kind of " relationship ",social,work,friend or family not tolerating it. I don't care if I end up with only a few people round me,they'll be the people I can grow with,love and support and be safe with.
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My Narc worked for her dad, not that she acknowledges they are even related (I only found out she had lied that he wasn't long after the fact) and he is hands off on the business.
But for her it is like a perpetual engine of Narc supply, as soon as one of us has had enough with her or she has had enough of someone... Up goes wanted ads rinse repeat every few months.
In the meantime the business stagnates because any progress is reset every 6-8 months. Daddy doesn't notice so long as his takings are there. Even though logic should dictate it's pretty weird no one leaves on good terms... EVER.
Yep! Showing up late or disappearing in the middle of a family event, Patterns!
I definitely never been gaslighted to that extent where he used my memory issues against me i really didn’t know what was real as far as my emotions then i blames myself cuz i felt like i was always doing something wrong but we never talked about what he did wrong
Any time we have a day long fight, he calms back down after we start talking about spending money and yes he's also on a two week cycle..... 😂
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Yes constantly cheating forgot my birthday every year though was reminded. Now he's in jail because a woman he was cheating with pressed charges on him...happy to be free of it. We have a child so ill have to deal with him eventually but atleast not in a relationship anymore
You are absolutely right. Crazy is crazy all day every day no matter who or what they are with and whatever it is.
Omg everything you are saying is so true, I’ve been married to a narcissist for 9 years, the Lord told me to get Ordained. So my Pastor ordained me, instead of my husband
giving me
congratulations he made my Ordination all about him😮 the congregation was looking at him upside his head. So one day he said to me, you think you better then me because you Preaching now😮Omg. I gave him the blues I told him if you keep your temple cleaned maybe God will call you too but you stay so cloudy only thing I see around you are showers and storms😂😂😂😂 He said you think you funny😂😂😂
You are wise Lee. Thank you for the validation!
you’re welcome
Lee we truly appreciate you and your truths! You are helping so many. Your VOICE Speaks Volume regarding Narcissistic abuse.
Hi Lee. Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject from an inside perspective. Your content is always spot on and humorous in delivery. You help us help and understand people who have not come to inner realization of what is going on inside of them and label their behavior as normal and view everyone else as abnormal. Keep up the good work. Your content helps to dismantle the narcissistic pandemic that has been playing the entire world regardless of skin color or status.
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Every time I try to give him constructive advice he would say you're not my mother just so he doesn't have to take responsibility
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They have very definately patterns.. It was the patterns of his contact with his ex on what'sapp.. .. That told me he was cheating. What's funny is he thinks he is so unique and unpredictable... In reality his patterns were as predictable as a dog.
This was a good one! This does allow you to maneuver better on your terms and not their false narrative and to stay convicted of your own value and worth. You cant allow someone to determine your value because only God determines your value and your worth at the end of your life.
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He said I was attacking him and that it’s always something. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. I legit said that lol.
Yep Lee I figured out his patterns of behavior and then I became a delusional, idiot with mental disorder let him tell it because I was able to see him. Also another red flag was when he started repeating stuff to me to devalue me that he repeated some words to me that he said about his two ex wives. I remembered that he said those things about them then I started to break him all the way down to his core. Yes the domestic violence charges too didn't make since. I figured out that everything was the reverse or everything and that he was faking being phony and that he really didn't know himself I became arch enemy of the state. Then I filed for a divorce he didn't like that I filed first because he was used too using up the person first then discarded them and they had no clue. I kept it all the way 1000% then he became the victim all of sudden I told that he is a piece of Sh!t and that he wasn't crap and that he was a 3 headed wolf the pulls the wool over people's eyes just to use them up and take from them. I told him that he doesn't have his own identity and that he is fake. I told him that he will never be able to be by himself nor with only one woman because he used to taking the most valuable thing from a person that make them who their core self is I told him that he was a soul sucker and a spiritual parasite and a leech and that he was a space shifter and that he was like a cancer that kill a person from the inside out I told him that he's the boy who cried wolf the wolf in sheep's clothing and the boy that sells wolf tickets and that he's a pathological liar and that he puts a facade in front of people and that he mimics other because he doesn't know who his core self is because his mommy and daddy didn't pour in to him as a child and that he was Nothing but a broken little boy looking for attention and that his momma and daddy dropped the ball because they poured into everyone else in the church but you and your siblings I called him out on so manything Lee that he tries to make my life harder and when I did talk to the ex wife she confirmed a lot of things I'm still going through divorce he as switched lawyers several times this is lawyer number 4 and going on 11 months because I'm not going he's used to playing all the games and divorcing within 5 or 6 months and the person not know what happened I guess I would be considered an empath but a spiritual one.
You are right on point. Watching them do their thing can make you physically ill. Helps to say no when they try to come back. We were good togther but... nahhhh. I'm good.
My abusive ex husband remarried immediately, yet after I divorced him, he kept harassing me for 8 years while he was re-married…she believed all of his lies at first, then he eventually abused her too.
They were married 9 years, but were getting a divorce, she filed a restraining order against him during her divorce proceedings. ……Exactly the same pattern with wife #2
My narcissistic ex-husband pulled the same tactic on me as he did his late wife. He threatened to divorce her if she didn’t stop attending her church. So she unfortunately stopped attending her church. However, when he pulled that on me, we got divorced. He ended a little fe that was good , not perfect, but good. He lost more than I did.
I believe the person that I was dealing with is a narcissist he killed his wife i left him
Mine likes it when I call him my little boy. Spoiled child. So I broke up with him. Told him why . Anyway, since he’s East Indian, always allow them to save face. He calls as if nothing happened. Told him I have two friends. He knows who they are and realized he wasn’t included. I told him he has hurt me deeply. So the rant began . Wouldn’t let me speak, so I hung up on him. Two days later he calls as if nothing happened. Such an empty child. Can’t ever not care about him. But the dynamic has changed. So he’s called twice in the past week as if nothing has happened.
I'm going to make an appointment with you at some point but what I thought was interesting was my narcissist would always talk s*** about his friends and family but yet he would post on his Instagram about them and how much fun he was having with them or how amazing things were between them when it was the complete opposite when he would text me about them 🤔 I started to wonder if his friends knew what he was saying about them or what he was even saying about me... The other thing that was weird was I would say you should go see the Chicago Bean for instance and he would tell me I want nothing to do with the Chicago Bean but then all the sudden when he was in chicago, he posted pictures of himself with the Chicago Bean.... It was just so confusing Lee I can't even describe it but I guess it was patterns. The other thing too was he jumped from college to college to job to job so, you're right about that!! ❤ Appreciate you Lee
My husband just woke up to the fact that he's a Narc. No diagnosis but my daughter was the 1st to figure it out it's bad.He started therapy, but my therapist is helping me keep it real. I am trying to give up hope but i can't. These videos are so validating. Thanks for all ypu do.hoping my narc can learn from you too one day. He ain't there yet
Wow thank you again Lee ❤ for this great info. Who knew patterns were so important to Identify a very Toxic person. That Love truly Blinds Us and we are over and over again forgiving the unforgivable. Again and again PATTERNS. God help us open those eyes cus We trully dont deserve that type of treatment. No body dose. We need to show ourselfs how to love ourselfs. The way our Savior Jesus Christ. Loves Us.
Amen
Amen
I love your videos because you got all the answers I needed to know about a narcissist
Lee you are preaching right now!❤❤❤❤
I love the feeling /honesty you gave on this video.
Thank you
Had this reminder for the billionth time last night bc it’s soo true you will be in a repeat cycle of everything !! But I’m pretty sure Lee following the trail of “bull” “craps” would of been more appropriate than hoofs 😂🙌 but all in all you are soooooo right !!!! ❤
Thank You ? I don't think I can keep typing this many times, though. Take Car.
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@@MentalHealness ❤🔥
0:08 Definitely noticed that, I can tell them what they are gonna do before they do it, then they deny it, and do exactly what I said they were gonna do...
Thanx Lee!!🙏🏾 Wasn't until I accepted God in my life 2+yrs ago that I started learning about myself and how I got here in life... Raised, dated & mated, friended Narc after Narc without knowing it! Thinking 'everyone is crazy weird'... I was Finally able to recognize THE PATTERNS and this video is 💯% FACTZ. Thank You for your Healing that's helping Sooo many others heal too 🤲🏾
Respectfully, god acts very similarly to a narcissist. As a former Christian, religion keeps a lot of people trapped in relationships with narcs.
Was one of your parents a narcissist? I would expects so if you've continuously befriended and mated other narcs.
I wish i know sbout you 10 years ago Lee
Regardless your vIDEOS are So powerful.
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This is such a good information video,thankyou! Should be taught in schools!
you’re welcome
He would always tell me that I was pushing him away but he ws the one forcing me to leave him because of his verbal abuse, but when we would speak again he would say that I was pushing him away and he was going to move on..🤔🙄i'm like....."you already been moved on! even while we were together🤦♀🤷! His patterns were getiing so damn predictable.
💯💯💯💥💣 he said the same thing did the same thing over and over ......exhausting.
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😢 man... it has been the hardest 70 days after my break up, your videos have helped me sort of understand the why's? It breaks my heart that i can't talk to her, the break up happened through texts, never thought we were going to break up, last time we seen eachother we had dinner with her family, and her kid.... to just blocked.... it makes no sense...
I had a similar situation, breakup via text after 6 years, and no face to face. Covert narcissist but it still hurts, it’s sub human
@@derekmarks8969 im sorry brother, that shit really does some interal damage down the road, when u meet someone else new, its like you go back to that same scenario, and dont wanna make the same mistake, when in fact they were the ones doing the wrongful doing.
I really appreciate your videos. Thank you.
you’re welcome
..the rotation...goes on and on....