My favourite was " You will never find anybody who loves you like I do " I slowly turned around looked at him and said " You are 💯% right , but I will find someone who will love me better " He lost the plot .😂😂😂
I tried to leave x narc and he would be so charming and bringing tons of expensive gifts. So i decided to make a secret exit plan. Asked a trusted friend to help. Wrote x narc a letter letting him know i want NO CONTACT, no texts, no calls, no emails, no 3rd party messages. He respected the No CONTACT, but when i ran into him in a local gas station a year later, he sarcastically yelled out my name & asked me if i remembered him. He turned away when his gas pump clicked, and i jumped in my friends car and took off. So when he turned back to where I was standing, i was gone. I saw him in the rear view mirror he was looking for me. I never went back to that gas station. I haven't run into him anymore because i moved to another town. Thank you Lord!!!
Yes. You are correct. Well meaning people thinking the X narc is wonderful. But I quickly said to several mutual friends "you don't have to like my decision to go NO CONTACT with X narc, but please do respect it, and do not bring me any news whatsoever about his life, not bring me any messages." And so fat 99% have respected my wishes and the other 1% got blocked and I went NO CONTACT with them as well. God has been good to me thru that process. It's so freeing and peaceful. I'm grateful.
As an empath with a narcissistic partner, once I figured him out I'd either play his own games on him until it literally left him speechless or I'd remain completely neutral when he was in a mood and he couldn't, for the life of him figure out why he wasn't able to get to me. (Weed helps too lol)
no offense, but i would advise against that. i did the grey rock method. and i wore headphones with music to drown out his abuse. so he physically attacked me. they are all the same. and they are extremely dangerous
@@ericagardens1234 I've experienced that as well and I'm sorry you had to. For me, he stopped the physical abuse after I fought back, hard. It's been 4 years since then now. It has gotten better for us but not entirely.
Why are you still with him? As an emoath don’t you understand that he will literally suck the life & everything good outta you until there’s nothing left?!
You are right. Every time I tried to discuss my concerns or my day with a narc, this person just had no interest. But as long as the conversation was on this person then that was okae.
Your needs become primary discussion when they think you're making plans to leave. Long enough to pull you back in. I've been waiting for my new car since the New Year! Now it's $500 to spend on myself. 🙄
My narcissistic boyfriend and i both have alcohol addiction. He told me that if i went to treatment, he would break up with me and i would regret my decision in a week. If i stayed, he would quit drinking forever and go to church. I went to treatment anyway, and he ghosted me as promised, but now a week later he is texting me like nothing happened. That is how he gaslights. No apology, no talking about it, just acting like it didn't happen. I can't go home to him though. I was using alcohol to numb the pain of his horrific insults when he was angry.
Had a restraining order and found it wasn't bullet proof (for real) had to plan to moved out of state and took 5 years to get him served divorce from a 23 year nightmare of a marrage with four children, and I didn't care to get alimony just to have no contact. Been free for years, and fully independent
@@marjawhite1842 The police told me after I got the restraining order they only would help once he showed up, but he came with a gun anyway, and when seconds count, the cops are always minutes away.
Mine left me alone, because he already had a new supply. He remarried very quickly, but that marriage dissolved in the blink of an eye. He's now in his third marriage, and I doubt that he's changed.
I've decided my ex narc is like a pair of sandals - "flip, flop, flip, flop". One minute, I'm being smeared, the next I'm being "heat checked". TRUELY a very sick, and disturbed individual! 😔
Unaliving is an extreme example. Some ways they will attempt to control you from a distance is tarnish your reputation. Take custody. Destroy credit. Refuse child support or spousal support.
I left my narc after 8 years. He would threaten me and love bomb me to keep me majority of those years. He is facing charges for hitting me. I finally got him away from me. I am relieved but kind of grieving at the same time.
I've tried telling him it's over at least 4 times. He says he will never let me go. Joked about "making guys disappear" if I ever dated another guy. He called it,"guarding me." I said that's not guarding that's stalking..... It's all about how I don't love him and don't care that I'm tearing out family apart ....I said," you tore this family apart by cheating and lying and being physically violent. You did this. It's on you not me "
I have narcissistic in-laws. They still see me and my side of the family as part of their family. I believe it's so that they can still 'keep us' for themselves, and under their thumb. They can't handle that we're making a clean break. My father and my father-in-law shared birthdays. My father passed away last year, and so my father-in-law is doing a little something in honor of my father for his birthday. My side of the family is invited. I believe this is not truly a tribute to my dad, but a way to try to lure us back. No one from my side is going.
I know what happened in my case … he tried to gaslight and blameshift … and when that didn’t work on me … I stood my ground … he discarded me. Game Over! That’s fine with me 😁
I had to move, change my number 4 times, get a PO box and just dissappear. That's how I had too get him to leave me alone. He is pissed he has to go thru my divorce attorney. Oh well!
They will try to poison your drinks too, they are capable of anything. Most of the time the police act like you’re crazy and out of touch. I don’t see where there is much help when they are mentally ill.
I told my narcissistic ex to stop! my daughter caught him putting medicine in my drinks and for a long time I wasn't feeling well, till my daughter informed me and I stopped drinking anything he brought. The last time he slept near me I woke up feeling beat up everything was hurting the next thing you know I have dead leg or maybe sciatica (how that happened while sleeping? I literally went to bed happy and woke up destroyed I have a feeling it was him.
I think they get more devious and snicky and they do such crazy things they blow up their own family. Mine would hardy talk to me I'd ask questions and I got no answer. He wouldn't even acknowledge me in the room.
My ex husband- when I filed-- he beat me. I then had protective order for years. It took around 10 years for him to stop stalking and bothering me. He withheld child support.
What kind of argument is that "we've been together x amount of years" "you don't wanna throw away x years" that's like keeping cancer cause you've had it for a long time
I am sorry to read that. Narcissistic rage is horrible. I don´t know what is wrong with their heads - but they just lose it completley (there is no boundary - very dangerous!). Take care!
I think my narc was gaslighting me yesterday (Memorial Day). He’s an awesome cook; we (mostly) enjoy cooking together. He grilled a lot of food yesterday: hot dogs, hamburgers, steak, chicken, kebabs and corn. He did most of the work and I backed him as needed. After everything was ready and I’d cleaned up, he looked me right in my eyes and said: “You know I did this for you, right?” I looked at him real crazy. I couldn’t help myself. 1). It’s his home; we don’t live together; 2). I don’t eat beef; 3). I’m a gastric bypass patient of 15 years. I could only nibble on portions of what was prepared! So…how exactly was he doing this for me when he’s been saying he wanted to grill all the food in his fridge??? Am I trippin??
Amazingly enough many narcs are excellent cooks.* One of my narc exes did the best soup I ever have eaten. I mean it was like WORLD class good. But he was a real narc Really really CHARMING to other ppl but changed behaviour totally at home. Mean as h*ll. .... (*Dont know if all are. But I have noticed this with some narcs. Had quite many in my life. Haha)
That's the type of bs I get here too.. I can't touch anything then he's like...I do everything for you... this holiday I'm over it saying we're doing xyz and at last minute not doing anything...his OCD doesn't help matters either. I didn't realize what I was embroiled in until now and the layers of this shit including unconsciously supporting his masks..all came to light...unbeleivable hoe canniving!
My soon to be ex lost his control june of 2023, i made a plan and left him in July 2023. He called a lot of my family members, but no-one would talk to him! I have had no contact since. Just before I left he tried to be so nice and sweet. I still left and so glad that I did! He doesn’t know where I’m at and I changed my address and phone! I haven’t had any problems
My mother is an extreme narcissist with several other undiagnosed mental/personality disorders. Been getting away w decades of very serious crimes w me as the primary target. She has pulled every move u mentioned
Lee, thanks for the work you do! Both of my parents had NPD and I am the youngest of two, and I was the scapegoat. I'm 57 now and my NOD brother, AKA, tge golden child still tries his narcissistic B.S. on me. But, I cut him off on occassion for 6 months at a time. Unreal how NPD people act and behave. They live on fantasy island and they're the star of their own show. Very childish and vindictive. Like spoiled teenagers. Yup, took me 57 years to figure out why life fir me had challenges in it. Thanks to awarness vids, you helped me gain understanding. Even at work I understand now. I've worked for an NPD boss. Nothing me, or my coworkers did was rewarded. In fact, the better our performance, the more hostile he became towards us. Those he left aline and rewarded were those who showed him codependency. If one kissed up to him, he treated them well. Us confident ones, he openly denegrated us. Unreal.
5 years ago my ex tried to kill me after we had been separated for 7 months. He beat me around my house for 40 mins, threatened me with an axe. After all that a few weeks later I said over messege " when will you get it into your head? I don't belong to you" his reply "I know that now"... that means that the whole 10 years we were together he viewed me as an object
My ex tells people I'm in one of my moods for the 5 years , he's back off for the last 6 months and keeps telling me his looking for a new girlfriend. Which I stonewall him with answers like" That's good moving forward ." Then I get" I cant be bothered I don't want a new girlfriend " we have grandchildren so we do the family thing , and ever single time it's " So how's your love life ? " first thing out of his month every single time . 🙄 "Its Good, you want a cuppa " I just shut him down and stonewall him , which he get piss off with 😊 I just smile and don't react to his bluster. 😂😂😂
My poor little narcissist has found that I am uncontrollable. Boy does it make him mad. I know what's up and he doesn't bother me. I know it's all him.
Dude, the last thing he said to me, in a last-ditch attempt to stay with his best supply ever, he asked me If I apologize can we just go back to the way it was? Really?
@@empressb444 Technically it is a domestic violence order for protection, but from the way it was explained to me, they're basically the same thing. I have been reporting things, but because he can't live in our home anymore, I don't know where he lives. And he works across state lines (we live right on the border of two states) and apparently his warrant doesn't transfer over or something so they can't get him at work. So basically, he has to get picked up driving or some kind of fluke, or I have to wait for him to do something significant enough that they authorize a cross state warrant, I guess. I just want to move.
@juless7807 The protection order basically means he is a physical threat to you or/and has made threats as a means of harming or intimidating you. A restraining order means he needs to stay away from you completely, like the protection order but basicallysaying he's harassing and/or stalking but haven't shown to be a physical threat. the protection order is more severe because it means he's volatile.
@@empressb444 Thanks for the info. I've had both. You'd think they could go across a bridge for that- we are in the Fargo, ND/Moorhead, MN area, and it's basically the same city. So frustrating.
Yup!!! They flip out!!! And get verbally abusive and also stalk , and there was one nite she video called my camera didn't open I didn't answer but my phone's camera let me see her she was flipping out tugging on her making noises!!! When they can't control you they lose it,or sometimes she would leave me alone for a few days and then start all over again!!! Unbelievable!!! I'm done
My ex toxic person left me alone after he chose to "take the highway". I regained my peace of mind. I think he found someone else if he didn't already have someone he was working on. I'm not dumb enough to go anywhere without protection though. He knows I carry stuff with me.
My man! Your videos are so helpful! Thank you for sharing these insights. They helped me understand the insanity and enabled me to gain closure after shutting down some abusive relationships. These videos are exceptionally helpful!
Thank you for these videos. You taught me to shut down around narc and flying monkeys . I held my head up and stood strong threw all of this. I was told I wasn't a jealous person . I said jealous of what. Fight for what.
What if the person never had control over you? I was newly dating someone. They kept telling me "i can't figure you out" and that they're studying me. Since I'm a loner they kept saying "this girl doesn't need anybody" referring to me? In the few months I've experienced emotional immaturity, delusional perception, entitlement to my time and attention, gaslighting my reality and perception of how things played out, mind games and telling me we're friends but having strong reactions to when i decline something, words and actions just not aligning, deflecting. After disagreements reaching out acting as if nothing happened and avoiding having a conversation about what transpired. Then would gaslight me that I'm dragging shit and i thrive in arguing. I told her that she was the narcissist all along and after laughing in my face i haven't heard from them.
Thank you for your channel! Divorcing a narcissist we were married for 13 years total 2 years of separation. He’s a serial cheater was naive and codependent gave him way too many chances. I knew he had a lot of childhood trauma. He’s been having an online affair with my now fake ex friend. They both are trying to do damage control due to she’s a social media influencer with 2 daughters and is trying to maintain her image. 😂 I’m not going to stoop to their level. The universe will handle it. He’s too broke for divorce $650 k in the hole and also owes a family $14k in reparations for death in a motor vehicle accident. He continues his patterns alcohol, drugs, women, act put together on social media to attract people with money and spend money he doesn’t have. He’s treading lightly now because he caught a felony for the motor vehicle accident and I have recordings of his narcissistic abuse. He found my secret drive with the recordings and thinks I will use it against him in court. I had it in case I was unalived due to his unpredictable behaviors. Ready to be out of this all he wanted me for was validation and money. He made my mom’s funeral about himself.
And some will leave you alone, but will try to control how others see you. That's fine, I lost everyone and everything I knew because of him. But is it really a loss if they choose his words? They never were my real friends/family.. I just never knew it 😮
There is something that I noticed that’s really similar in your speaking mannerisms to my wife’s. It’s really weird and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think all narcissists do it in one way or another because I’ve experienced it with my dad as well but his style was more aggressive and domineering whereas you and my wife’s is more slick and manipulative. It’s hard to describe. It’s like a blank attack of words if that makes any sense. It’s not Word salad. I’ve experienced that as well, It’s more of a panicky cadence hidden by smooth or in my father‘s case aggressive language..
Lee, have you seen Doctor Ramani's video about narcs being on a 1-10 scale. I wonder if you would share where you feel you fall, and have fallen in the past, on that scale? I think it would be interesting to see the effect of therapy and you seem to have really turned your marriage around
My husband doesn't beat me but he's mentally unstable and every few months has an episode. He is how you described and at this point, it's hard to back away because I'm nearly 20 years and 10 kids invested. Right now, he's in the love bombing stage. It's hard because his mom was a victim of DV and that should have been enough of a red flag for me but my low self worth, Savior complex and codependency due to parental neglect played a major role in me choosing him above the other more eligible, mentally, emotionally and financially stable options I had.
If someone was absolutely obsessed and all of a sudden went silent, Is It possible that he’s just over It? Or more likely giving me the silent treatment as a new tactic to try and pull me back in since aggression and love bombing didn’t work?
I was discarded because he could never quite get control me 😂 (My own Narc tendencies I inherited from my father were my protection and sword 😂😂 ) Realizing you survived a narc because you are also a little off is hilarious and scary 😂
Are the narcs EVER embarrased over anything or TRULY sorry for what they did..? I mean TRULY TRULY sorry for hurting someone? Also: Can they have NORMAL feelings for example for their kids. But then are narcs to their wifes/girlfriends. Also: When they ARE nice to other ppl.. esp towards ppl who don't know them well. Are they ACTING that nice side.... Yah kind of they are. But I mean do they truly believe or FEEL that SOME ppl deserve their nice sides and they ARE TRULY nice to them.. and it's not an act. But at the same time they treat their loved ones poorly (mostly behind closed doors)
No they aren´t. They aren´t truly sorry. And yeah narcissists play their roles well. It is all about supplies and using people - if they are kind it is acting. (In fact they can´t love - it is impossible for them. They don´t even love themselves).
Yup!!! She daid im not letting you go!!! And shes dangerous i take her threats seriously shes still stalking me and calling inspite of the fact that she got arrested and signed the criminal court order, and even came up to my apt door and didnt care i had security cameras!!! Shes toxic and dangerous!!!
@@empressb444 I'm not going to I will call DA and proceed if she continues to call me and leave voice mails I can't change my number to many apps I need my cameras aside from family and friends and court have my number yeah it sucks, if I could move I would have a good friend said you shouldn't have to move I understand that!!! Thank you I know you understand yup she's a total nite mare!!!
The ones that leave you alone are the ones that just may truly love and/or respect you the most . The ones that totally lose their minds are the ones that will never-ever live a peaceful day in their life .
My ex was horrible. It took me five years to get the divorce as he painted me out to be a harlot. Ruined my relationship with our daughter and when she didn’t stay with her abusive husband said it was “because your mom was like that”.
Wow I must be one of the blessed ones because my recent narc like/toxic person left me alone after I ditched him. The most he did was question me when he saw hanging out with one of my ol buddies from high school. Like really? Dude got involved with someone else, ignores me when I was trying to get a few things back from him & when I finally did I took me friend with me in case something happened & wanted to question me the next day about it a whole 12 or 23 hrs later.
I tried to get away from him and he said "I will let you know when I am done with you". 20+ years, blocked him everywhere but will not leave me alone 🙃. He does not communicate verbally, but by telepathy.
In fact the hilirious thing is I was never controllable because I have my own head. A taurus-head isn´t controllable. I played along because I didn´t want to work. That´s all. But it was not good for me - I know. In life you always have advantages or disadvantages (that´s just it). Maybe I am a good actress too (a narcissist is as well).
Yes so true… I had so many dreams of my ex narc cheating on me. I would wake up from the dream and ask him about it. He would deny and say no. All the while the dreams were true. It was GOD’s way of informing me of the truth. I love GOD so much!! ❤❤He’s an awesome GOD!!🙌🏽❤️🩹
Mine disappeared so I couldn’t divorce him and be free. Doing a divorce by publication is confusing too. I need to make time to go in to the court assistant.
His restraining order did nothing ,he was back here in 25 min after being released. Now his ankle monitor keeps him away but it's not stopping 2nd hand abuse from his flying monkeys . And it won't be on forever ,so .. I still need to get out of here before they take it off
My favourite was " You will never find anybody who loves you like I do " I slowly turned around looked at him and said " You are 💯% right , but I will find someone who will love me better " He lost the plot .😂😂😂
You will find somebody and wayyyy better
🙌 baller
😂😂😂 yes
My first husband said that to me and I said I don't want your kind of love, your love hurts...
My ex used to scream that in my face. That, and “no one will ever love you again you stupid dumb Cu**, was my fave. So far he’s been right tho .
I tried to leave x narc and he would be so charming and bringing tons of expensive gifts. So i decided to make a secret exit plan. Asked a trusted friend to help. Wrote x narc a letter letting him know i want NO CONTACT, no texts, no calls, no emails, no 3rd party messages. He respected the No CONTACT, but when i ran into him in a local gas station a year later, he sarcastically yelled out my name & asked me if i remembered him. He turned away when his gas pump clicked, and i jumped in my friends car and took off. So when he turned back to where I was standing, i was gone. I saw him in the rear view mirror he was looking for me. I never went back to that gas station. I haven't run into him anymore because i moved to another town. Thank you Lord!!!
Whew😩! Close one
I know it's sad that you have to hide or move relocate. Get a new phone number.
And let’s be real u texted him after 💀or went on his social media page
@@megamafiarecords no I did not, nor will I ever. I'm free! Thank the good Lord!
The flying monkeys step up in FULL FORCE with no discernment..
💯💯💯
😂😂😂😂
Yes. You are correct. Well meaning people thinking the X narc is wonderful. But I quickly said to several mutual friends "you don't have to like my decision to go NO CONTACT with X narc, but please do respect it, and do not bring me any news whatsoever about his life, not bring me any messages." And so fat 99% have respected my wishes and the other 1% got blocked and I went NO CONTACT with them as well. God has been good to me thru that process. It's so freeing and peaceful. I'm grateful.
They literally go insane and lose their shit. Its quite sickening, sad,and pathetic.
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They hate you if they lose control of you. (Their actions clearly show that).
And it’s also often very dangerous.
Pathetic, for sure
As an empath with a narcissistic partner, once I figured him out I'd either play his own games on him until it literally left him speechless or I'd remain completely neutral when he was in a mood and he couldn't, for the life of him figure out why he wasn't able to get to me. (Weed helps too lol)
🎯🎯
no offense, but i would advise against that. i did the grey rock method. and i wore headphones with music to drown out his abuse. so he physically attacked me. they are all the same. and they are extremely dangerous
@@ericagardens1234 I've experienced that as well and I'm sorry you had to. For me, he stopped the physical abuse after I fought back, hard. It's been 4 years since then now. It has gotten better for us but not entirely.
Why are you still with him? As an emoath don’t you understand that he will literally suck the life & everything good outta you until there’s nothing left?!
@@ericagardens1234 Narcissistic is one thing and physical abuse is another…
Some will become nasty, aggressive, disrespectful… and do anything to get you back under their control and manipulation
🎯🎯
I am lucky that mine left me alone. Seven months and feeling like my own self is coming back.
You are correct!! It is about their needs and damn yours!!
NEVER AGAIN!!
You are right. Every time I tried to discuss my concerns or my day with a narc, this person just had no interest. But as long as the conversation was on this person then that was okae.
Your needs become primary discussion when they think you're making plans to leave. Long enough to pull you back in. I've been waiting for my new car since the New Year! Now it's $500 to spend on myself. 🙄
4 years of 24/7 monitoring and stalking. Im truly disgusted and sickkkkkk of it.
stay strong
18 years and counting. 😩
@@BlackRelationshipsUncut damn I guess I better get used to it
No weapon formed against you shall prosper, brother! May the enemies be put to shame and see all your blessings!
My narcissistic boyfriend and i both have alcohol addiction. He told me that if i went to treatment, he would break up with me and i would regret my decision in a week. If i stayed, he would quit drinking forever and go to church. I went to treatment anyway, and he ghosted me as promised, but now a week later he is texting me like nothing happened. That is how he gaslights. No apology, no talking about it, just acting like it didn't happen. I can't go home to him though. I was using alcohol to numb the pain of his horrific insults when he was angry.
Yes!! Good for you!! He wanted you to better yourself
I am fighting heading into alcohol addiction as I drink my third bottle of wine today. 😩
I'm going through the same problem
So your a narcissist too..takes one to know one
Keeping striving! Sobriety is beautiful ❤️
I held my ground and he finally left.
They never leave you alone. I’ve been being hoovered and/or stalked for over 5 years now.
🎯
Had a restraining order and found it wasn't bullet proof (for real) had to plan to moved out of state and took 5 years to get him served divorce from a 23 year nightmare of a marrage with four children, and I didn't care to get alimony just to have no contact. Been free for years, and fully independent
Can you explain why you said it was not bullet proof? I am asking because I was just instructed to get one served to my husband.
@@marjawhite1842 The police told me after I got the restraining order they only would help once he showed up, but he came with a gun anyway, and when seconds count, the cops are always minutes away.
I’m not asking for alimony from my soon to be ex for exactly that reason: I want a clean break from all ties.
Yup, when I started educating myself and standing up for myself, his abuse got worse and worse, it was scary.
The post separation abuse is real too
Mine left me alone,I'm so glad. I have peace of mind.
Same
They come back once lose supply from next mistress
Mine left me alone, because he already had a new supply. He remarried very quickly, but that marriage dissolved in the blink of an eye. He's now in his third marriage, and I doubt that he's changed.
I've decided my ex narc is like a pair of sandals - "flip, flop, flip, flop". One minute, I'm being smeared, the next I'm being "heat checked". TRUELY a very sick, and disturbed individual! 😔
😞😞
Unaliving is an extreme example. Some ways they will attempt to control you from a distance is tarnish your reputation. Take custody. Destroy credit. Refuse child support or spousal support.
Giiiiirrrlll nothing but truth 😂❤ their so lame and pitiful to try to control you!
I left my narc after 8 years. He would threaten me and love bomb me to keep me majority of those years. He is facing charges for hitting me. I finally got him away from me. I am relieved but kind of grieving at the same time.
Stay safe
I do know that most throw fits and act so childish! 💯 💯
Yesss!
Will lash out & start manipulation , public smear campaign , etc
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I've tried telling him it's over at least 4 times. He says he will never let me go. Joked about "making guys disappear" if I ever dated another guy. He called it,"guarding me." I said that's not guarding that's stalking.....
It's all about how I don't love him and don't care that I'm tearing out family apart ....I said," you tore this family apart by cheating and lying and being physically violent. You did this. It's on you not me "
Never telegraph your intentions, or your thoughts to him. Grey rock until you can silently escape.
He thought he could control me because I was 28 and he was 42!
Girrrrrrl yessssss …. But I have wisdom at this young age. I’m 30 and he’s 37
I have narcissistic in-laws. They still see me and my side of the family as part of their family. I believe it's so that they can still 'keep us' for themselves, and under their thumb. They can't handle that we're making a clean break. My father and my father-in-law shared birthdays. My father passed away last year, and so my father-in-law is doing a little something in honor of my father for his birthday. My side of the family is invited. I believe this is not truly a tribute to my dad, but a way to try to lure us back. No one from my side is going.
Thank you, Lee. This is so accurate and honest. They can become very dangerous and psychotic. Expect and PLAN for the unimaginable.
I know what happened in my case … he tried to gaslight and blameshift … and when that didn’t work on me … I stood my ground … he discarded me. Game Over!
That’s fine with me 😁
🙌🏾🙌🏾 stay safe
Good you stood on your ground. That shows you love and respect yourself. Well done!
They will try to take you to court for custody too! My current situation 😮
Lmaoooooo my narc Virgo tried this move
I had to move, change my number 4 times, get a PO box and just dissappear. That's how I had too get him to leave me alone. He is pissed he has to go thru my divorce attorney. Oh well!
stay safe
How did he keep getting ur number?
I have to wait til our children are grown and then leave if he hasn't changed. It's been almost 19 years, I have 16 more to go.
They will try to poison your drinks too, they are capable of anything. Most of the time the police act like you’re crazy and out of touch. I don’t see where there is much help when they are mentally ill.
I told my narcissistic ex to stop! my daughter caught him putting medicine in my drinks and for a long time I wasn't feeling well, till my daughter informed me and I stopped drinking anything he brought. The last time he slept near me I woke up feeling beat up everything was hurting the next thing you know I have dead leg or maybe sciatica (how that happened while sleeping? I literally went to bed happy and woke up destroyed I have a feeling it was him.
I totally relocated to a place he didn't know about and unfamiliar area.. and zero contact
Never take a nasty person back they going to always do the same thing to the next person and to you
I think they get more devious and snicky and they do such crazy things they blow up their own family. Mine would hardy talk to me I'd ask questions and I got no answer. He wouldn't even acknowledge me in the room.
def a possiblity
That's the dehumanization part of not acknowledging you.
Turn it around... and consider if a Blessing.
Been through that, it’s so dumb
Lost their mind, went out of devalue phase to discard phase! In the end it was OK, but hard!
He stepped up the Games. "Oh, I care about you..." And all that BS.
🤨😞😞
Mines tells me he loves me 30 times a day.
My ex husband- when I filed-- he beat me. I then had protective order for years. It took around 10 years for him to stop stalking and bothering me. He withheld child support.
Yup she said ill press charges on you!!! Yup their spiteful and vengeful!!!
What kind of argument is that "we've been together x amount of years" "you don't wanna throw away x years" that's like keeping cancer cause you've had it for a long time
The NARCISSIST abuser that lost control of me, he got physically violent!
😞😞
I am sorry to read that. Narcissistic rage is horrible. I don´t know what is wrong with their heads - but they just lose it completley (there is no boundary - very dangerous!). Take care!
Before my ex, I was in a five year narcisstic relationship. So I already knew the game! So I was with him for 7 months.
Recording my ex is what got me custody and a restraining order…seeing it is so different from just telling it
I think my narc was gaslighting me yesterday (Memorial Day). He’s an awesome cook; we (mostly) enjoy cooking together. He grilled a lot of food yesterday: hot dogs, hamburgers, steak, chicken, kebabs and corn. He did most of the work and I backed him as needed. After everything was ready and I’d cleaned up, he looked me right in my eyes and said: “You know I did this for you, right?” I looked at him real crazy. I couldn’t help myself. 1). It’s his home; we don’t live together; 2). I don’t eat beef; 3). I’m a gastric bypass patient of 15 years. I could only nibble on portions of what was prepared! So…how exactly was he doing this for me when he’s been saying he wanted to grill all the food in his fridge??? Am I trippin??
Amazingly enough many narcs are excellent cooks.*
One of my narc exes did the best soup I ever have eaten.
I mean it was like WORLD class good.
But he was a real narc
Really really CHARMING to other ppl but changed behaviour totally at home. Mean as h*ll.
....
(*Dont know if all are. But I have noticed this with some narcs. Had quite many in my life. Haha)
That's the type of bs I get here too..
I can't touch anything then he's like...I do everything for you... this holiday I'm over it
saying we're doing xyz and at last minute not doing anything...his OCD doesn't help matters either. I didn't realize what I was embroiled in until now and the layers of this shit including unconsciously supporting his masks..all came to light...unbeleivable hoe canniving!
My narc is a friggin chef!! And a darn good one at that! Wow!!!!
My soon to be ex lost his control june of 2023, i made a plan and left him in July 2023. He called a lot of my family members, but no-one would talk to him! I have had no contact since. Just before I left he tried to be so nice and sweet. I still left and so glad that I did! He doesn’t know where I’m at and I changed my address and phone! I haven’t had any problems
My mother is an extreme narcissist with several other undiagnosed mental/personality disorders. Been getting away w decades of very serious crimes w me as the primary target. She has pulled every move u mentioned
My sympathies. I've put it together at last, myself.
You are my fav self aware narc 😊 in fact, the ONLY one I actually like.
Lee, thanks for the work you do! Both of my parents had NPD and I am the youngest of two, and I was the scapegoat. I'm 57 now and my NOD brother, AKA, tge golden child still tries his narcissistic B.S. on me. But, I cut him off on occassion for 6 months at a time. Unreal how NPD people act and behave. They live on fantasy island and they're the star of their own show. Very childish and vindictive. Like spoiled teenagers. Yup, took me 57 years to figure out why life fir me had challenges in it. Thanks to awarness vids, you helped me gain understanding. Even at work I understand now. I've worked for an NPD boss. Nothing me, or my coworkers did was rewarded. In fact, the better our performance, the more hostile he became towards us. Those he left aline and rewarded were those who showed him codependency. If one kissed up to him, he treated them well. Us confident ones, he openly denegrated us. Unreal.
Oh my goodness. Stay strong
Thank you Lee, you have a very interesting way of explaining the minds of narcissistic men with humor. I appreciate you. 🙏☺
I was queen on the chess board!!
Check mate!!
I would never trust nobody again never
5 years ago my ex tried to kill me after we had been separated for 7 months. He beat me around my house for 40 mins, threatened me with an axe. After all that a few weeks later I said over messege " when will you get it into your head? I don't belong to you" his reply "I know that now"... that means that the whole 10 years we were together he viewed me as an object
So sorry you went through that 😔😟
Thank you. 5-22- I sit here in my calm, quiet and peaceful place. I Am so thankful to have found you in 7-21 my God.🙏🏽
You are so welcome
My ex tells people I'm in one of my moods for the 5 years , he's back off for the last 6 months and keeps telling me his looking for a new girlfriend. Which I stonewall him with answers like" That's good moving forward ." Then I get" I cant be bothered I don't want a new girlfriend " we have grandchildren so we do the family thing , and ever single time it's " So how's your love life ? " first thing out of his month every single time . 🙄 "Its Good, you want a cuppa " I just shut him down and stonewall him , which he get piss off with 😊 I just smile and don't react to his bluster. 😂😂😂
My poor little narcissist has found that I am uncontrollable. Boy does it make him mad. I know what's up and he doesn't bother me. I know it's all him.
Dude, the last thing he said to me, in a last-ditch attempt to stay with his best supply ever, he asked me
If I apologize can we just go back to the way it was?
Really?
I have a restraining order, too, and he won't honor it. It's frightening.
stay safe
Keep reporting him to the cops and court. Take pictures and document what he's doing, see if u can get them to give u a protection order instead
@@empressb444 Technically it is a domestic violence order for protection, but from the way it was explained to me, they're basically the same thing. I have been reporting things, but because he can't live in our home anymore, I don't know where he lives. And he works across state lines (we live right on the border of two states) and apparently his warrant doesn't transfer over or something so they can't get him at work. So basically, he has to get picked up driving or some kind of fluke, or I have to wait for him to do something significant enough that they authorize a cross state warrant, I guess. I just want to move.
@juless7807 The protection order basically means he is a physical threat to you or/and has made threats as a means of harming or intimidating you. A restraining order means he needs to stay away from you completely, like the protection order but basicallysaying he's harassing and/or stalking but haven't shown to be a physical threat. the protection order is more severe because it means he's volatile.
@@empressb444 Thanks for the info. I've had both. You'd think they could go across a bridge for that- we are in the Fargo, ND/Moorhead, MN area, and it's basically the same city. So frustrating.
Yup!!! They flip out!!! And get verbally abusive and also stalk , and there was one nite she video called my camera didn't open I didn't answer but my phone's camera let me see her she was flipping out tugging on her making noises!!! When they can't control you they lose it,or sometimes she would leave me alone for a few days and then start all over again!!! Unbelievable!!! I'm done
My ex toxic person left me alone after he chose to "take the highway". I regained my peace of mind. I think he found someone else if he didn't already have someone he was working on. I'm not dumb enough to go anywhere without protection though. He knows I carry stuff with me.
Stay strong
@@MentalHealness I will always stay strong.
My man! Your videos are so helpful! Thank you for sharing these insights. They helped me understand the insanity and enabled me to gain closure after shutting down some abusive relationships. These videos are exceptionally helpful!
Hair is on point. As always thanks for the info . Mine left me alone. Thank God, I feel the others are very dangerous
All of that!!!! Sadd, sick mentally!😐🤨
Thank you for these videos. You taught me to shut down around narc and flying monkeys . I held my head up and stood strong threw all of this. I was told I wasn't a jealous person . I said jealous of what. Fight for what.
Stay strong
How I always deal with those who leave me alone when lose control?! 😂😂😂
Good to know this is how they feeling rn
Mine suggested a romantic weekend away...all paid for by me of course 😂
What if the person never had control over you? I was newly dating someone. They kept telling me "i can't figure you out" and that they're studying me. Since I'm a loner they kept saying "this girl doesn't need anybody" referring to me? In the few months I've experienced emotional immaturity, delusional perception, entitlement to my time and attention, gaslighting my reality and perception of how things played out, mind games and telling me we're friends but having strong reactions to when i decline something, words and actions just not aligning, deflecting. After disagreements reaching out acting as if nothing happened and avoiding having a conversation about what transpired. Then would gaslight me that I'm dragging shit and i thrive in arguing. I told her that she was the narcissist all along and after laughing in my face i haven't heard from them.
My team of narcs has my look alike and now my social security card. But I feel you already know that.
Beautiful hair brother ❤
The faces that you make 😅 that's really made me laugh 🤣 thank you so much 😊
Glad you like them!
Mine will be quietly destructive when I leave. Financially for sure!! Also just destroy my name.!! he's quietly abusive,and smart about it.
😩
❤ thank you ❤
Very, very, very true.
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Thank you for your channel! Divorcing a narcissist we were married for 13 years total 2 years of separation. He’s a serial cheater was naive and codependent gave him way too many chances. I knew he had a lot of childhood trauma. He’s been having an online affair with my now fake ex friend. They both are trying to do damage control due to she’s a social media influencer with 2 daughters and is trying to maintain her image. 😂 I’m not going to stoop to their level. The universe will handle it. He’s too broke for divorce $650 k in the hole and also owes a family $14k in reparations for death in a motor vehicle accident. He continues his patterns alcohol, drugs, women, act put together on social media to attract people with money and spend money he doesn’t have. He’s treading lightly now because he caught a felony for the motor vehicle accident and I have recordings of his narcissistic abuse. He found my secret drive with the recordings and thinks I will use it against him in court. I had it in case I was unalived due to his unpredictable behaviors. Ready to be out of this all he wanted me for was validation and money. He made my mom’s funeral about himself.
My Ex Narc came to 1 out of 6 divorce hearings. Judge ruled she was in contempt of court she kept acting a fool. STILL doing Narc crap
And some will leave you alone, but will try to control how others see you.
That's fine, I lost everyone and everything I knew because of him. But is it really a loss if they choose his words?
They never were my real friends/family.. I just never knew it 😮
🙌🏾
There is something that I noticed that’s really similar in your speaking mannerisms to my wife’s. It’s really weird and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think all narcissists do it in one way or another because I’ve experienced it with my dad as well but his style was more aggressive and domineering whereas you and my wife’s is more slick and manipulative. It’s hard to describe. It’s like a blank attack of words if that makes any sense. It’s not Word salad. I’ve experienced that as well, It’s more of a panicky cadence hidden by smooth or in my father‘s case aggressive language..
Lee, have you seen Doctor Ramani's video about narcs being on a 1-10 scale. I wonder if you would share where you feel you fall, and have fallen in the past, on that scale? I think it would be interesting to see the effect of therapy and you seem to have really turned your marriage around
My husband doesn't beat me but he's mentally unstable and every few months has an episode. He is how you described and at this point, it's hard to back away because I'm nearly 20 years and 10 kids invested.
Right now, he's in the love bombing stage. It's hard because his mom was a victim of DV and that should have been enough of a red flag for me but my low self worth, Savior complex and codependency due to parental neglect played a major role in me choosing him above the other more eligible, mentally, emotionally and financially stable options I had.
Be careful folks! Things can get worse, I'd treat a stray dog better! You'll see how much they don't care about you, anybody, anything.scary.
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Mine told me “let’s take trips” 😂 and was an asshole on the trip. Never again
Thank you!
Or they tell you that you are free to leave whenever you want. It's a dare. They still stalk you.
God use to show me all his women he was with!!!
Yes ! God exposed so much 🙌 praise God
Yes yes Amen and locations 🙏🏾
If someone was absolutely obsessed and all of a sudden went silent, Is It possible that he’s just over It? Or more likely giving me the silent treatment as a new tactic to try and pull me back in since aggression and love bombing didn’t work?
Im trying to catch this before I go to bed i have clinicals in the morning but I'm catching up
They'll just ghost you or ignore you.
a lot will
I was discarded because he could never quite get control me 😂
(My own Narc tendencies I inherited from my father were my protection and sword 😂😂 )
Realizing you survived a narc because you are also a little off is hilarious and scary 😂
Left the narcissist, told him to never contact me again,, blocked him, he made new accounts-- so draining, so draining.
stay strong
My ex FINALLY has a new girlfriend!! I am soo relieved and I hope he leaves me alone forever!
Are the narcs EVER embarrased over anything or TRULY sorry for what they did..? I mean TRULY TRULY sorry for hurting someone?
Also: Can they have NORMAL feelings for example for their kids. But then are narcs to their wifes/girlfriends.
Also: When they ARE nice to other ppl.. esp towards ppl who don't know them well. Are they ACTING that nice side.... Yah kind of they are. But I mean do they truly believe or FEEL that SOME ppl deserve their nice sides and they ARE TRULY nice to them.. and it's not an act. But at the same time they treat their loved ones poorly (mostly behind closed doors)
No they aren´t. They aren´t truly sorry. And yeah narcissists play their roles well. It is all about supplies and using people - if they are kind it is acting. (In fact they can´t love - it is impossible for them. They don´t even love themselves).
Yup!!! She daid im not letting you go!!! And shes dangerous i take her threats seriously shes still stalking me and calling inspite of the fact that she got arrested and signed the criminal court order, and even came up to my apt door and didnt care i had security cameras!!! Shes toxic and dangerous!!!
Report her on everything, don't let anything slide.
@@empressb444 I'm not going to I will call DA and proceed if she continues to call me and leave voice mails I can't change my number to many apps I need my cameras aside from family and friends and court have my number yeah it sucks, if I could move I would have a good friend said you shouldn't have to move I understand that!!! Thank you I know you understand yup she's a total nite mare!!!
The ones that leave you alone are the ones that just may truly love and/or respect you the most . The ones that totally lose their minds are the ones that will never-ever live a peaceful day in their life .
No. That’s a discard.
My ex husband, the day I put a protection order on him, kicked my door open and smashed my cell phone. So glad I'm outta that.
My ex was horrible. It took me five years to get the divorce as he painted me out to be a harlot. Ruined my relationship with our daughter and when she didn’t stay with her abusive husband said it was “because your mom was like that”.
🎯🙌🏾
Wow I must be one of the blessed ones because my recent narc like/toxic person left me alone after I ditched him. The most he did was question me when he saw hanging out with one of my ol buddies from high school. Like really? Dude got involved with someone else, ignores me when I was trying to get a few things back from him & when I finally did I took me friend with me in case something happened & wanted to question me the next day about it a whole 12 or 23 hrs later.
Let's go on a trip lol. I have been there several times.
I tried to get away from him and he said "I will let you know when I am done with you". 20+ years, blocked him everywhere but will not leave me alone 🙃. He does not communicate verbally, but by telepathy.
oh my goodness. stay strong
In fact the hilirious thing is I was never controllable because I have my own head. A taurus-head isn´t controllable. I played along because I didn´t want to work. That´s all. But it was not good for me - I know. In life you always have advantages or disadvantages (that´s just it). Maybe I am a good actress too (a narcissist is as well).
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Yes so true… I had so many dreams of my ex narc cheating on me. I would wake up from the dream and ask him about it. He would deny and say no. All the while the dreams were true. It was GOD’s way of informing me of the truth. I love GOD so much!! ❤❤He’s an awesome GOD!!🙌🏽❤️🩹
I used to have dreams like that too and I never understood why until I realized he was a narcissist …but now I know it was God telling me too❤️🙏
I had one relationship from a distance with a girl from Netherlands.When i return to Greece and i went out with a friend she discarted me.
Please equipp me how to deal with this narcisst my ex is doing exactly that sabotaging, dragging everything
Mine disappeared so I couldn’t divorce him and be free. Doing a divorce by publication is confusing too. I need to make time to go in to the court assistant.
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His restraining order did nothing ,he was back here in 25 min after being released. Now his ankle monitor keeps him away but it's not stopping 2nd hand abuse from his flying monkeys . And it won't be on forever ,so .. I still need to get out of here before they take it off