Max House I speak for myself and I am tolerant and kind and compassionate but because I have had to fight for myself my entire life I am not afraid of new situations or challenges but unfortunately Men seem to expect Women to be a certain way or assumptions start being made. I know what I bring to the table and if that makes men run then they are not the one for me.
@Eva Green Lover hu 4mhinna lyane chup bthi tasnim ok my jani chuki chhu teno smss par orkhis litho thoda divs maro dokaro Jesus jase me nolvana chhu nteni a video jovi chu ok thankyo
Relationships and dating seems like too much games and unnecessary work. Why can't I just say I like you, you like me too and we be happy? That's too much mind reading and bs to just be happy. No thanks!
Im saying.... You have to be in ignoring texts when in reality you want to talk to them for the whole day, I ain't into all that. If I have to be some one I'm not & do something i don't want to do. Let's just call it quits. Because I ain't pretending.
@@tabby156 dont ignore texts, just have a full amaxing life outside of a husband search so getting back to him and finding fulfillment through interactions with him arent youre end all be all and dont come across overly clingy
Dating in todays society is too much work. Trying to figure out if someone likes you even though you get mixed signals, trying to decode text, figuring out how many other woman they are dating, figuring out why he broke up (or even started dating) his crazy ex, determining if hes looking for a relationship with you or if hes just passing time. TOO MUCH WORK
Jamie then you’re just better off ALONE. Have you given it a thought that you may sound a tad bit selfish? God forbid you put in work for another person/relationship, BUT you expect the other person to put in work for you? You sound like you’re just not ready to grow yourself, change your thinking from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. When you enter into relationships and how it ends reflects directly on you and what YOU have to work on. So you’re right, stay single & alone, you would never subject someone else to put in work for you Bcus you ain’t worth the time.
If a man see you as an option, that means he is not for you dont give what he want. Run and never look back. Because Mr. Right is waiting for you without games and affort he will be there and treat you like a princess.
You can find many of these men in the incel community. But if you are looking for an attractive guy who many women would like to be with, you will be an option.
If it's a long distance relationship, the two might not have had enough alone time to determine the direction of it all. I do agree with you that in general, no decision or mixed signals is a total turnoff and a "No"!!
You are correct. I actually just fell into that trap last week, but cut it off quickly enough. I 'got it'- the guy was too lazy to pick up the phone even after I invited him to call. He just kept sending video clips of songs, but wrote not a word. Didn't even ask how I was. i even told him so, but the didn't respond at all. I am still disturbed by this. I am 64! So many men just do not know how to treat women.
+Gülsen Ünal The kind of power where you are at their control. In relationships some women become emersed so that the man is the source of their happiness. Where the mans actions can affect a women's choices and daily life. Where the women tries to please her man beyond her own needs. If a woman stays true to her own needs and remembers to put herself first its healthier for everyone and then she won't become a victim of someone who can use her kindness and emotions against her. Time and time again a women can walk this path until one man who truly hurts her after giving her all teaches her to keep a balance on what's happening. Its worthwhile learning this. Know your worth. Not what anyone else tells you. Hope that answers your question.
louise knight Amen!! Facts here, these choices can either break a woman, even make her lose her faith in men, or keep her authenticity and love herself by raising her standards...The pedestal is easy to create, as the nurtures by nature we can be deceived. Many of us have fallen for the liar/player/user who says what we want to hear, yet his actions become those of a snake in the grass...the worst heartbreak is betrayal from the one you’ve loved and given your all to ...
Brian. Instead of telling women that we just have to understand men and their games, how about... telling men to stop playing those games and to grow up? A man who is mature knows how to show his interest, and wants to commit. In a video by another dating guru (Attract Great Guys I think was his channel), I saw him telling that after a date with his now-wife he was so impressed he called her the next day and just wanted to see her that morning. No games, no calculations if she saw him as desperate. This wanting to build a relationship seems so rare that it should be actively taught - men don't understand that they end up just as lonely as women if they just play and never commit, open themselves to love and emotions, or express direct interest.
@Kris 999 probably so. But also women who don't 'put out' get the same cold treatment. It goes deep into the value system, when there is no respect and decency, no amount of playing it right can help... Only a crude awakening will eventually serve as a wake-up call. Sad thing is, many women have to be alone as the result of men's choices - and then we are blamed as 'angry feminists'..
@Kris 999 As a Christian woman, it is clear to me that sex belongs in the marriage bed. Not before. The sad thing is, basic morality has gone down and the culture & media makes it seem the norm that everyone is supposed to sleep around.. When you don't, then, you are seen as the problem :) My parents have been married for over 50 years, and they got married within a very short time. They were completely smitten with each other, no fooling around or testing other partners, even though that was the 'swinging sixties' lol. Back then, getting married was still considered normal, honorable, and the healthy way of life.. These days they are shaking their head in horror when i tell them how complicated it is even to meet someone who would be polite enough to have basic manners... Of course, there are compassionate and kind men of my age, and they all got married when young.
I saw this video too. My ex pursued me (before cell phones/computers existed) and we ended up married. Though the marriage did not last, I MISS this behavior from men. I think technology has damaged our dating culture.
Be a priority for yourself. Don’t make him a priory while letting him see you as an option. Be strong enough to walk away or the hard talk. You are worth it. Thanks
women: never give your power away. Never forget: you are the prize. Stop worrying about pleasing men. Love and work on loving yourself and the men will run after you. Don't buy into patriarchial BS.
@@minosmagnan1111 women get what they deserve. I'm only alone when I want to be, women really couldn't be any easier. When I no longer desire sex I'll not want a women around. If sex is not involved would rather be around other guy's than a women any day of the week. Women vastly over estimate their worth.
@@minosmagnan1111 you have no answer to my question? Why would a man care about pleasing a women that doesn't care about pleasing him? Today's women couldn't be more egotistical and full of themselves.
I had a mother figure who gave the following advice: 1. Be unattainable. 2. Keep men at arms length. It clearly worked for her. She just got on with her life. She was feminine but entirely without the appearance of actually needing anyone. Men fell for her
It's very true, at this point in my life, I don't care if I have boyfriend and seems like men are asking me out all the time, holding doors, initiating conversations, etc. I wish they would have shown me this kind of attention back when I used to care if I got male attention.
Men are just immature. Keep dating til you FIND AN ADULT MAN. Keep sorting through the losers. Men are like puppies. Whatever you let them do in the begining of the relationship, they WILL ALWAYS DO!
Literally every single man I've been with has always made another woman their priority in the end and left me because of it (whether it's their ex, new girl at work, mother (which I understand to a degree but he was a real "mommy's boy" lol), etc). Every. Single. One. Literally just like "okay bye" whenever this happens now I and I don't turn back. Can't be bothered dealing with having my heart broken time and time again when I try to be so caring, considerate and understanding in relationships. Yes I have my flaws like anybody else but it seems even when I try to fix a problem calmly in the relationship, or if I am very easygoing or independent (not neglectful at all, just not clingy), it's still never good enough. So imma take myself on dates instead because I totally deserve it hehe. 😌
He used to call and text me every day when he was chasing me and i was not showing interest, but the moment I said yes, and praised him and told him i started loving him, he asked me to talk once a week. He used to talk about marriage plans, and all those beautiful romantic things and used to talk about having a family together, when i was not showing interest and he wanted to get me anyhow, the moment i started showing interest and started to date him, he says he cant give any name to our relationship. Men are good communicators untill they dont get the women they want, the moment that woman starts to show interest and love they suddenly becomes lazy communicaters and emotionally immature species
exactly! I got played/heartbroken/led on and had never slept with anyone or chased an unwilling man! I experienced a lot of emotional pain and am aftaid of engaging with men again. They can tell you you’re soulmates, they love you and don’t even want to talk to others, but the next day or week or month - as soon as the point of you having strong feelings for them comes - their feelings and intentions are gone very fast. And they start playing games, trying to get you to love them/meet their needs without loving you back. Even if you only reciprocated their supposed ‘feelings’. As one man said “men imitate being in love to get sex, and women give out sex in hopes of getting love”.
We are living times that some woman are so tired the way that man play hard to get...the abusers...the cheaters ...blah..blah...i went through all this kind of man...results I decided to stay alone...7 years alone...love it..i still look good...dress nice and I love the attention I get from man.... but from F...A...R A...W..A...Y too much HEADACHES...disappointments...to be honest I never had a man doing anything for me...but they all came back after I dumped them....I'll stay single for good....
Same here... being single is the way to be the best version of oneself cos there's no game playing, cheating, trying to please others bs. Me and my peace, my career, my hobbies.. it's pure bliss!
@@naynamangalore yeah. Same here. I feel totally at peace being single. They are too manipulative, controlling, immature and selfish the majority of them. I would rather stay as I am then to look like crap through dating an a unappreciative guy.
I'm sat here crying because this is it. I have felt for 4 months I have not been alone. I feel like he is keeping His options open yet I've fallen for him .. hard. :(
I’ve been there, an option off and on for 15 years. Glad to say I finally woke up. He has been married TWICE! And not to me. Don’t waist your time if you feel like an option- you are and he will never admit it. You are serving a purpose when it is convenient for him- sex, meals, money, or whatever. Find your interests again, go hang with friends. You are missing something in your life that you have projected on to him, he will never fulfill you. I finally figured out that he marries women who won’t leave but his “option women” are the one’s he sexually attracted to but intimidated to commit to. Love yourself and move on!!!
QK2018 I left the guy I was dating. A month after this was posted. I was correct he had his options open and unfortunately he’s with the one person I hoped he wouldn’t be. But hey ho, life goes on! Xox
Yes, yes, yes! There's at least one sensible soul in this comment section! Playing games is for children, we should just be as honest and transparent as we possibly can. If a guy doesn't respect that, then he is not a keeper.
@@heliaalves9062 he never said dont be honest. Hes just saying how you can come across wrong when delivering your honest feelings... Unless you meant to tell the guy you dated once that you want to get married in two months?
@@Artbug people have gotten married in less than 2 months. I regret not telling some things to people I've dated because I just couldn't get them out, but I also regret some stupid things I've said and done. That's life. If you're not able to be yourself and you have to play hide and seek with the person who you believe is made for you, then I don't know how happy you can expect to be. The right guy will understand, he will not run away scared like a little boy. If he likes you when you're saying all the right things, he will also like you when you're messing up. He will want all of you. I'm really emotional now, so I hope I got my point across. Thank you for taking an interest in my comment and replying, sending you a hug.
Nope..had to go places to meet people..if you met someone fell for them..not many women to cheat with or fall back on, like in todays world. Problem is, menlose interest and keep women as an option, is bevause thousands of women at just one click..they don't even have to shower, in order to start their prowling. The internet ruined lives and will continue to ruin lives, as long as we live
Not necessarily. I mean being surrounded by more evil (options) nowadays is always a temptation. I understand men or women in general have to fight THAT much harder now to have a marriage. The people back in the day didn't have to fight for anything besides whatever else was happening at that time. War, equal rights, etc. Not that those weren't STRUGGLES. So REALLY, ANYONE who goes against the grain of society currently, (premarital sex, porn, following Instagram women) just the ATTEMPTS are more than men back in the day had to deal with. On top of that, the economy now discourages marriage, especially for my generation because it's not phesable. As well, the generation is that much more broken than the last, ESPECIALLY with the rise of the internet. The last generation had an advantage, and who's to say they wouldn't have cheated or looked at porn given the same options??? Options influence, being more broken takes away the skill, yes with men being more feminine as well, because we have become a fatherless nation. Even men who are in the home are typically emotionally unavailable. Which screws up their female and male children. So yeah. Partially they had an advantage, and men don't recognize they are hurting themselves by watching porn and giving into premarital sex, as well as their children and their children's generation... However, to say it's the internet's fault isn't entirely true. We don't know the men of old wouldn't have done the same, given the same options. With LESS stability from fatherlessness, less hope of marriage and living solace from economy, and more of an option to cheat, men and women are at a disadvantage. It's not just the internet. It's both.
Tell a man who claims he has feelings for you and you’re his soulmate you like him back & want a relationship too (as he claims to) and he will get instantly terrified 😂
Give him time and space to realize what you really matters to him,,,,its very hard to do but worth it..girls be at your sense at all time in every situation don't react so fast...if he is worthy to stay he will stay if he does not then let him go and move on spend more time for yourself beacuse mo body will love you honestly and truthfully except yourself.life is precious value yourself.
Thank you - I am fast becoming your biggest fan! Please make some videos for all us single gals in our 60s to 80s - we are the aging 'Baby Boomers' (from Grandma Bunny in Phoenix)
Brian Knox you are adorable! You are brilliant. You may have saved me from more heartache. Thanks for all your advice. Your lady is so blessed! I wish there were more men like you.
I think you definitely should say in general terms “I’m only interested in dating” and only accept real dates... if it moves forward into a loving relationship then that’s great! If it doesn’t move forward then say goodbye and good luck. Don’t fall for a guy just because of looks, job, personality... focus on the way he treats you and fall in love with the whole package. Put aside your goals of marriage and children and just focus on the human being in front of you and how he behaves towards you.
Men will lie and say they are looking for a relationship just to try to sleep with you. I had a guy fake a 2 year relationship just to get money and se3x
Relationship/dating are so complicated these days. Thats why my parents, grandparents, aunties & uncles don’t understand why I’m still single and not married not even dating
Yes after years of friendship...I then become an option......only to find myself deeply hurt and felt so stupid because I knew deep down...but got caught up in the friends with benefits and it's complete BS
He said "nothing is more important than you" bla bla bla 6 months later he never even texts. Is 4 hours away, I understand not seeing him much but not even an "I hope you're still alive" text. Ten seconds tops. He's "busy". Ya I think I'm being dumped, he just wants to make sure he has something/ someone else lined up first.
Actions speak louder than words, some men spit so much bullshit at first, then never follow thru on any of it. Those are the men you dump and run from.
You should make sure to dump him before he fully has new person lined up next (only whilst he’s in search of that person). So that he can at least feel maybe some sort of disappointment
Brian, it seems as if you have someone else reading your audiobooks. It would be really great if you read your books. You have a kind, sincere and calming voice and it would compliment your audiobooks.
the relationship I’m in at the moment, it’s just a friendship. So I’m letting her take the wheel. I’ve a saying, “ if the wolf seeks the Love of the dove, he must tread very carefully “ She is a fantastic woman. Soft warm and gentle.
This is so true. When I was young and hot, I got lots of attention but not too many men chased me for long because I so much wanted to be in a relationship. Now I'm 45 and so over the games men play, I'd rather be single. I'm the fattest I've ever been too, yet lately men 15 years younger than me have been chasing after me because I call them on their BS, I tell them to get lost when they come sniffing around for a booty call - even when I physically want them too, I'm just too old to not settle for a gentleman anymore - and it astounds me how I still get phone calls and attention. I just wish I had figured this out earlier.
It doesn't matter that you have gained extra pounds, because you are now standing your ground whereas before you may have seemed desparate and more focused on trying to please those who could not appreciate you, but at that time, you were not being the real you either. But those were learning curves setting you up for Mr. Right one day! Now, you recognize the game and you just let them know from the jump where you stand. That's attractive and it may seem to that man that you don't really seeming to care one way or the other. Now, here comes the chase, because you have become a challenge, and you have become interesting and so they want to invest more in how they approach you. You'd be surprised how at times it is the younger men who tend to show that they appreciate and respect you more. 💕
@@deloresmcneil8005 Yes that is all so true! I just read back what I wrote and I laughed because it comes off like I was bragging. But at least I'm not like how I used to be - exactly as you said - coming off as desperate and it's amazing how not giving a crap makes you more interesting to a man. The man that was chasing me back then is still chasing me and it's hilarious and empowering.
That what I did to my husband. I put him as a priority, put him on pedestal. What he did? He treated me like a trash. He hurt me over n over. Even cheated me. Then I showed him the real me. I asked him firmly to go away from my life .
So I’m in this situation right now. Started dating a guy 3.5 months ago. Met him online .After 4 th date he asked to be exclusive, so I said ok but we should then delete out profiles which he did . We were meeting once or twice a week and he also introduced me to his friends etc.All seemed well, also didn’t sleep with him till our 12 th date. . Last 3 weeks he started a new job and a new business. Got extremely busy and also traveling. I was supportive the entire time she didn’t complain or ask for anything . But then I noticed him pulling away and becoming less and less responsive . Finally completely gone After being absent for nearly a week he called and said that it had nothing to do with me but him being too busy and also admitted to being scared of the relationship and clamming up .Asked me out and set up another 2 dates with me.I said to him in a very calm way that I’m not going to force a relationship, I’ll be ok if he’s not happy and wants to move on but he insisted that he liked me a lot and wants to continue seeing me. Out of curiosity I went back and checked his profile was active again Now I don’t know how to approach this..
Are you cool with being friends with benefits? What is your value? Are you lovable? Do you want a man that respects and loves you more than just for sex? My advice: say no to the bread crumbs he wants to give you now. He either will come around and see what a high value woman you are or you meet your perfect partner who does. Either way: you win😘❤
Hey, Brian, you give such great advice. Thanks. I am still learning how men think in general. I did what women actually do when they're interested. Your right, they fell away. And lost interest and I was devastated but now, I have learnt my lesson and giving him a lot of space now.
Thank you, Brian, for sharing your great perspective in any relationship status. You really did a great job and I really hope that God will Bless you more.
If you can scare a guy by saying be in a relationship then I am sorry it is not for me.. because they have no clue what they want... You can't not scare anyone who are healed, happy, confident and really in love with me.
saphora mahii ...believe me, you will look back and be happier. You will find someone much better. I used to feel like that but I just move on and remind myself of when I didn’t think I was able. Trust me, you will smile again soon😊
Thank you, Brian!! It is so wonderful to hear the perspective of a man who values women!! This is great insight and helpful...where we're you when I was 20...so many mistakes I have made :-\
Amazing to read all these comments 🙄 specially after having heard the excellent explanation above! Watch the video instead, take it in and stop repeating yourself, seeing things only from your perspectives! I am a girl, but reading these ridiculous negative comments about men makes me understand how hopeless we women can be...
Blessing in disguise right now with the corona virus. Meet ups have to be postponed and other means like phone and video calls reveals how interested someone really is😉👌
At work I started to get feelings for a friend I worked with. He was 18 and I was 22. He took and held my hand, said he wanted to kiss me, called me beautiful and said I really was beautiful and even said " where have you been all my life". after he did all this stuff I finally grew the courage to tell him I like him and he said everything was platonic and to not overthink it and that he likes messing with me and I was just like ok well if u don't like me then stop messing with me. And the same night I told him I liked him, he went out with another girl and made out with her. Yes I'm ok😂
He is a sadist. To be honest, I also suspect the guy I liked was doing this on purpose to mess with me (lovebombing over the top cringey stuff to check how naive/dumb i am, demeaning rude comments disguised as jokes & telling how im crazy/over sensitive to be affected, making me jealous on purpose, comparing me with other women about things i can’t change, targeting my weak spots, etc). Although my senseless torment lasted a long time, like a year. Trying to disentangle myself and find new people to talk to.
On the one hand I wish I had found these videos a long time ago because it would have saved me a lot of time. On the other hand I find I can't even make myself talk to guys anymore.
shenshen2408 so basically at the end your lie to yourself and become confused and say GOOD MEN DONT EXIST ? You don’t like nice guys and that’s the thing.
At this point I’m just confounded by how long everything takes. Every. Sluggish. Response. I feel as if I’m being tested for a patience training marathon model. Covid conditions accelerate mutual need - possibly because every act of physical touch, every hug, and sweet little kiss seems infused with so much more meaning. It’s very deceptive - because it IS. But just below the surface, my bloods tells me, “Watch it... Watch your emotions... Watch him... Give him only what he gives you. Not an eyelash more. Mirror his actions...and guard your heart...” Holding my pose - Maintaining the space between us is exhausting. I’d love for once to sing, 🎶 Time is on own side...🎶
Thats always happen men your into are not into you, and men you don't like chase after you! Know wonder if you meet a guy you like and they seem to like you you think bingo! So its very yucky when things don't work out. Ive give up on dating had 30 odd years of shitty men.
He told me last night that he had too much on at the minute and could we still be friends, hes too scared of being hurt again.... Thats almost 4 yrs iv hoped of getting with him as he was my first crush at school. If theres one valueable thing iv learned, not to tell a guy how i feel about him too soon again.... plus hes a drug addict... i ended up blocking him
@@Canadiangrammarpolice so, just a woman who doesnt look exactly like you? Idk something tells me theyre into becky from the office down the hall bc youre crazy af
This is actually human psychology, we all trying to build a shield within us before we ever open up ourselves to a new person we just meet, no matter how much we like the person because we have to really feel the trust before we show our vulnerability especially comes to relationships, this is a mature person would behave. I made the mistake before now I learned. Thanks Brian for your ever greatest teaching that we can only hear it from our elderly parents. God blesses you always.
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How to Lose A Guy in 5 Days... 1. Be Honest
2. Be Yourself
3. Be Confident
4. Be Strong Minded and Independent.
5. Be Kind
Sad to say, many people who are strong & independent are not kind.
Max House I speak for myself and I am tolerant and kind and compassionate but because I have had to fight for myself my entire life I am not afraid of new situations or challenges but unfortunately Men seem to expect Women to be a certain way or assumptions start being made. I know what I bring to the table and if that makes men run then they are not the one for me.
@Eva Green Lover hu 4mhinna lyane chup bthi tasnim ok my jani chuki chhu teno smss par orkhis litho thoda divs maro dokaro Jesus jase me nolvana chhu nteni a video jovi chu ok thankyo
Lol! So true
JESUS God totally agree parisian woman
if a man doesnt know what he wants, he needs to get lost
dolphinrose21 lol
He usually does.
Totally
If he doesn't know what he wants, he's already lost!😂
Exactly- that’s why I left him without explanation.
Don't want what doesn't want you. The end.
Period!
May get that tattooed on my wrist Don't want them that doesn't want you the end.
Relationships and dating seems like too much games and unnecessary work. Why can't I just say I like you, you like me too and we be happy? That's too much mind reading and bs to just be happy. No thanks!
Im saying....
You have to be in ignoring texts when in reality you want to talk to them for the whole day, I ain't into all that. If I have to be some one I'm not & do something i don't want to do. Let's just call it quits. Because I ain't pretending.
@@tabby156 dont ignore texts, just have a full amaxing life outside of a husband search so getting back to him and finding fulfillment through interactions with him arent youre end all be all and dont come across overly clingy
Sorry Love, thats the World of men. Actually, it sucks but, " its a mans World! " Until it changes one day.
So true Melanie. These games kill all spontaneity and joy. Making friends and falling in love should not be a cruel game.
Melanie Montique so Right ! I degree with u to 100 %!!!
A man knows what he wants. He just doesn't want YOU.
Well said👍
Damnnnnn
Then men should be honest and tell you that they are not interested, and not try to sleep with you and lead you on
Dating in todays society is too much work. Trying to figure out if someone likes you even though you get mixed signals, trying to decode text, figuring out how many other woman they are dating, figuring out why he broke up (or even started dating) his crazy ex, determining if hes looking for a relationship with you or if hes just passing time. TOO MUCH WORK
True
Sure is, spot on
Jamie then you’re just better off ALONE. Have you given it a thought that you may sound a tad bit selfish? God forbid you put in work for another person/relationship, BUT you expect the other person to put in work for you? You sound like you’re just not ready to grow yourself, change your thinking from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. When you enter into relationships and how it ends reflects directly on you and what YOU have to work on. So you’re right, stay single & alone, you would never subject someone else to put in work for you Bcus you ain’t worth the time.
I'd rather work on MYSELF! At least I know I'm responsible for my own results. 😉💖😇
Yes speaking truth.
If a man see you as an option, that means he is not for you dont give what he want. Run and never look back. Because Mr. Right is waiting for you without games and affort he will be there and treat you like a princess.
You can find many of these men in the incel community. But if you are looking for an attractive guy who many women would like to be with, you will be an option.
Eli Nope not necessarily, there are alot of handsome men that are very loyal and happily married with kids. :) their just hard to find 😂
Wow, thanks dear
Don’t act like an option tho...
If they don't know what they want..they don't want you
If it's a long distance relationship, the two might not have had enough alone time to determine the direction of it all. I do agree with you that in general, no decision or mixed signals is a total turnoff and a "No"!!
Girls stop texting ! Don't allow it .It's the number 1 relationship killer. If he doesn't call you and ask to see you ,he isn't interested.!
You are correct. I actually just fell into that trap last week, but cut it off quickly enough. I 'got it'- the guy was too lazy to pick up the phone even after I invited him to call. He just kept sending video clips of songs, but wrote not a word. Didn't even ask how I was. i even told him so, but the didn't respond at all. I am still disturbed by this. I am 64! So many men just do not know how to treat women.
No not always true. Even if he does see you, that means NOTHING
Yes
It is blessing when a guy ghosts out on me because I’m saving a room for someone who values me in serious relationships period.
YES 🙌🏾🙌🏾
When a man ignores you . Damn it get another man
I don’t understand all these games I know for sure if someone loves you will always make his woman a priority
never give a man your power.
louise knight what kind of power..? Don't worry, I don't think they are looking for your "power"(=ego)..
+Gülsen Ünal The kind of power where you are at their control. In relationships some women become emersed so that the man is the source of their happiness. Where the mans actions can affect a women's choices and daily life. Where the women tries to please her man beyond her own needs. If a woman stays true to her own needs and remembers to put herself first its healthier for everyone and then she won't become a victim of someone who can use her kindness and emotions against her. Time and time again a women can walk this path until one man who truly hurts her after giving her all teaches her to keep a balance on what's happening. Its worthwhile learning this. Know your worth. Not what anyone else tells you. Hope that answers your question.
louise knight Amen!! Facts here, these choices can either break a woman, even make her lose her faith in men, or keep her authenticity and love herself by raising her standards...The pedestal is easy to create, as the nurtures by nature we can be deceived. Many of us have fallen for the liar/player/user who says what we want to hear, yet his actions become those of a snake in the grass...the worst heartbreak is betrayal from the one you’ve loved and given your all to ...
louise knight A to the Men , sister!
@@louiseknight358 Your are so right.
Brian. Instead of telling women that we just have to understand men and their games, how about... telling men to stop playing those games and to grow up?
A man who is mature knows how to show his interest, and wants to commit. In a video by another dating guru (Attract Great Guys I think was his channel), I saw him telling that after a date with his now-wife he was so impressed he called her the next day and just wanted to see her that morning. No games, no calculations if she saw him as desperate. This wanting to build a relationship seems so rare that it should be actively taught - men don't understand that they end up just as lonely as women if they just play and never commit, open themselves to love and emotions, or express direct interest.
@Kris 999 probably so. But also women who don't 'put out' get the same cold treatment. It goes deep into the value system, when there is no respect and decency, no amount of playing it right can help... Only a crude awakening will eventually serve as a wake-up call. Sad thing is, many women have to be alone as the result of men's choices - and then we are blamed as 'angry feminists'..
@Kris 999 As a Christian woman, it is clear to me that sex belongs in the marriage bed. Not before. The sad thing is, basic morality has gone down and the culture & media makes it seem the norm that everyone is supposed to sleep around.. When you don't, then, you are seen as the problem :)
My parents have been married for over 50 years, and they got married within a very short time. They were completely smitten with each other, no fooling around or testing other partners, even though that was the 'swinging sixties' lol. Back then, getting married was still considered normal, honorable, and the healthy way of life..
These days they are shaking their head in horror when i tell them how complicated it is even to meet someone who would be polite enough to have basic manners... Of course, there are compassionate and kind men of my age, and they all got married when young.
Kris 999 thank you for your wisdom
If a man wants someone to love, he’s better off getting a dog than a woman.
I saw this video too. My ex pursued me (before cell phones/computers existed) and we ended up married. Though the marriage did not last, I MISS this behavior from men. I think technology has damaged our dating culture.
Be a priority for yourself. Don’t make him a priory while letting him see you as an option. Be strong enough to walk away or the hard talk. You are worth it. Thanks
Oh boi,
if a man sees me as an option, I'll show him he isn't even on the backburner
Funny !!
Damn straight
Iris Grey ✅💯‼️
Love that!
But what if you want him
women: never give your power away. Never forget: you are the prize. Stop worrying about pleasing men. Love and work on loving yourself and the men will run after you. Don't buy into patriarchial BS.
Yes
@@davidw2433 yawn. you deserve to be alone.
@@minosmagnan1111 women get what they deserve. I'm only alone when I want to be, women really couldn't be any easier. When I no longer desire sex I'll not want a women around. If sex is not involved would rather be around other guy's than a women any day of the week. Women vastly over estimate their worth.
@@minosmagnan1111 you have no answer to my question? Why would a man care about pleasing a women that doesn't care about pleasing him? Today's women couldn't be more egotistical and full of themselves.
David W you must give some really bad cunninglitis.
Too much work!
Men chase, catch, and then release!
No thank you..Happy being Single!
I had a mother figure who gave the following advice:
1. Be unattainable.
2. Keep men at arms length.
It clearly worked for her.
She just got on with her life. She was feminine but entirely without the appearance of actually needing anyone. Men fell for her
It's true
It's very true, at this point in my life, I don't care if I have boyfriend and seems like men are asking me out all the time, holding doors, initiating conversations, etc. I wish they would have shown me this kind of attention back when I used to care if I got male attention.
@L. Rachel she was a very very wise woman. And yes... never chase a man she said. It's all so counter intuitive
@@minnieshadesofbeautyllc5395 it really is
@@reneenordeen9447 💕
Men are just immature. Keep dating til you FIND AN ADULT MAN. Keep sorting through the losers. Men are like puppies. Whatever you let them do in the begining of the relationship, they WILL ALWAYS DO!
Literally every single man I've been with has always made another woman their priority in the end and left me because of it (whether it's their ex, new girl at work, mother (which I understand to a degree but he was a real "mommy's boy" lol), etc). Every. Single. One. Literally just like "okay bye" whenever this happens now I and I don't turn back. Can't be bothered dealing with having my heart broken time and time again when I try to be so caring, considerate and understanding in relationships. Yes I have my flaws like anybody else but it seems even when I try to fix a problem calmly in the relationship, or if I am very easygoing or independent (not neglectful at all, just not clingy), it's still never good enough.
So imma take myself on dates instead because I totally deserve it hehe. 😌
Yes. are you conventionally attractive?
He used to call and text me every day when he was chasing me and i was not showing interest, but the moment I said yes, and praised him and told him i started loving him, he asked me to talk once a week.
He used to talk about marriage plans, and all those beautiful romantic things and used to talk about having a family together, when i was not showing interest and he wanted to get me anyhow, the moment i started showing interest and started to date him, he says he cant give any name to our relationship.
Men are good communicators untill they dont get the women they want, the moment that woman starts to show interest and love they suddenly becomes lazy communicaters and emotionally immature species
It’s their polyamorous biology and fucked up society that values dating and fucking as many women as possible with minimal investments.
True
exactly! I got played/heartbroken/led on and had never slept with anyone or chased an unwilling man! I experienced a lot of emotional pain and am aftaid of engaging with men again. They can tell you you’re soulmates, they love you and don’t even want to talk to others, but the next day or week or month - as soon as the point of you having strong feelings for them comes - their feelings and intentions are gone very fast. And they start playing games, trying to get you to love them/meet their needs without loving you back. Even if you only reciprocated their supposed ‘feelings’. As one man said “men imitate being in love to get sex, and women give out sex in hopes of getting love”.
Never related more to any comment ever🙂
We are living times that some woman are so tired the way that man play hard to get...the abusers...the cheaters ...blah..blah...i went through all this kind of man...results I decided to stay alone...7 years alone...love it..i still look good...dress nice and I love the attention I get from man.... but from F...A...R
A...W..A...Y
too much HEADACHES...disappointments...to be honest I never had a man doing anything for me...but they all came back after I dumped them....I'll stay single for good....
Same here... being single is the way to be the best version of oneself cos there's no game playing, cheating, trying to please others bs. Me and my peace, my career, my hobbies.. it's pure bliss!
@@naynamangalore
Be happy 😁🤗
Same here
Single too and love not being on the roller coaster but have to say that I would like to be in a healthy relationship, not settling.
@@naynamangalore yeah. Same here. I feel totally at peace being single. They are too manipulative, controlling, immature and selfish the majority of them. I would rather stay as I am then to look like crap through dating an a unappreciative guy.
I'm sat here crying because this is it. I have felt for 4 months I have not been alone. I feel like he is keeping His options open yet I've fallen for him .. hard. :(
I’ve been there, an option off and on for 15 years. Glad to say I finally woke up. He has been married TWICE! And not to me. Don’t waist your time if you feel like an option- you are and he will never admit it. You are serving a purpose when it is convenient for him- sex, meals, money, or whatever. Find your interests again, go hang with friends. You are missing something in your life that you have projected on to him, he will never fulfill you. I finally figured out that he marries women who won’t leave but his “option women” are the one’s he sexually attracted to but intimidated to commit to. Love yourself and move on!!!
My situation has been going on for 2 months !.... I can’t stomach the ups and downs...
QK2018 I left the guy I was dating. A month after this was posted. I was correct he had his options open and unfortunately he’s with the one person I hoped he wouldn’t be. But hey ho, life goes on! Xox
@@Amysbiblereads you did the right thing, love yourself first, you will meet the one who's for you, good luck
Glad you pulled back and got out.
I’m just honest, I tell the guys I like that I like them and I tell the guys I don’t like that I don’t like them. The rest is up to them.
Yes, yes, yes! There's at least one sensible soul in this comment section! Playing games is for children, we should just be as honest and transparent as we possibly can. If a guy doesn't respect that, then he is not a keeper.
@@heliaalves9062 he never said dont be honest. Hes just saying how you can come across wrong when delivering your honest feelings... Unless you meant to tell the guy you dated once that you want to get married in two months?
@@Artbug people have gotten married in less than 2 months. I regret not telling some things to people I've dated because I just couldn't get them out, but I also regret some stupid things I've said and done. That's life. If you're not able to be yourself and you have to play hide and seek with the person who you believe is made for you, then I don't know how happy you can expect to be. The right guy will understand, he will not run away scared like a little boy. If he likes you when you're saying all the right things, he will also like you when you're messing up. He will want all of you. I'm really emotional now, so I hope I got my point across. Thank you for taking an interest in my comment and replying, sending you a hug.
I do the same the guy that gets intimidated by that is an asshole lol
Yes!That will be a relief and then you can cotninue your life with someone that deserves you.
I don't think women had to go through all this BS 50 years ago.
Nope..had to go places to meet people..if you met someone fell for them..not many women to cheat with or fall back on, like in todays world. Problem is, menlose interest and keep women as an option, is bevause thousands of women at just one click..they don't even have to shower, in order to start their prowling. The internet ruined lives and will continue to ruin lives, as long as we live
anastasia46 they didn't
FERREAAALLL
@Jordan Brendmoen Who says some women don't still have value???
Not necessarily. I mean being surrounded by more evil (options) nowadays is always a temptation. I understand men or women in general have to fight THAT much harder now to have a marriage. The people back in the day didn't have to fight for anything besides whatever else was happening at that time. War, equal rights, etc. Not that those weren't STRUGGLES.
So REALLY, ANYONE who goes against the grain of society currently, (premarital sex, porn, following Instagram women) just the ATTEMPTS are more than men back in the day had to deal with. On top of that, the economy now discourages marriage, especially for my generation because it's not phesable. As well, the generation is that much more broken than the last, ESPECIALLY with the rise of the internet. The last generation had an advantage, and who's to say they wouldn't have cheated or looked at porn given the same options??? Options influence, being more broken takes away the skill, yes with men being more feminine as well, because we have become a fatherless nation. Even men who are in the home are typically emotionally unavailable. Which screws up their female and male children. So yeah. Partially they had an advantage, and men don't recognize they are hurting themselves by watching porn and giving into premarital sex, as well as their children and their children's generation... However, to say it's the internet's fault isn't entirely true. We don't know the men of old wouldn't have done the same, given the same options. With LESS stability from fatherlessness, less hope of marriage and living solace from economy, and more of an option to cheat, men and women are at a disadvantage. It's not just the internet. It's both.
Bottom line it seems : if you like him, ignore him 😞 fml
I like how calm this man is 🌹
Indeed...i love it
Yes so pleasant that I put him to speak when I'm tired and I fall asleep. 😊 Very interesting he is through...
"Men scare easily". No joke!
Tell a man who claims he has feelings for you and you’re his soulmate you like him back & want a relationship too (as he claims to) and he will get instantly terrified 😂
Yes! Keeping that balance is so important!
Love it, never try to prove that we are of value! Awesome advice
"Baby its cold outside" should be playing in the backgroud 💕💕
Give him time and space to realize what you really matters to him,,,,its very hard to do but worth it..girls be at your sense at all time in every situation don't react so fast...if he is worthy to stay he will stay if he does not then let him go and move on spend more time for yourself beacuse mo body will love you honestly and truthfully except yourself.life is precious value yourself.
When a man sees you as an option? Run away from him there’s a lot of men’s in these world not to be teach all the time what they want.
Thank you - I am fast becoming your biggest fan! Please make some videos for all us single gals in our 60s to 80s - we are the aging 'Baby Boomers' (from Grandma Bunny in Phoenix)
I'm now allergic to men.....Waste of time, effort
Brian Knox you are adorable! You are brilliant. You may have saved me from more heartache. Thanks for all your advice. Your lady is so blessed! I wish there were more men like you.
When a male sees me as an option, I let him know I'm off limits. He has plenty of options around me.😉
If he doesn't want you it won't happen anyway. If he wants you it will be natural. Just be yourself
I think you definitely should say in general terms “I’m only interested in dating” and only accept real dates... if it moves forward into a loving relationship then that’s great! If it doesn’t move forward then say goodbye and good luck. Don’t fall for a guy just because of looks, job, personality... focus on the way he treats you and fall in love with the whole package. Put aside your goals of marriage and children and just focus on the human being in front of you and how he behaves towards you.
Men will lie and say they are looking for a relationship just to try to sleep with you.
I had a guy fake a 2 year relationship just to get money and se3x
Relationship/dating are so complicated these days. Thats why my parents, grandparents, aunties & uncles don’t understand why I’m still single and not married not even dating
Brian NOx right on point "this question I ask myself almost everyday " you have just answered..
You are so humorous, I'm not sure if you know it because you say it with a straight face. Love your advice.
Yes after years of friendship...I then become an option......only to find myself deeply hurt and felt so stupid because I knew deep down...but got caught up in the friends with benefits and it's complete BS
He said "nothing is more important than you" bla bla bla 6 months later he never even texts. Is 4 hours away, I understand not seeing him much but not even an "I hope you're still alive" text. Ten seconds tops. He's "busy". Ya I think I'm being dumped, he just wants to make sure he has something/ someone else lined up first.
Men chat so much shit
...
Actions speak louder than words, some men spit so much bullshit at first, then never follow thru on any of it. Those are the men you dump and run from.
You should make sure to dump him before he fully has new person lined up next (only whilst he’s in search of that person). So that he can at least feel maybe some sort of disappointment
Brian is always spot-on. You guys really should listen to his podcast. They're gems.
He didnt even consider me an option once he set on something new. 😔 left without a word. had to call it off myself.
Hope you weren’t too deep into it.
Thankyou for all this wonderful insight that can really help when the emotions might go off the rictor scale then suddenly nothing makes sense.
Loved when you said " nothing good can come of this" p.s I always listen to you to the end 😊
My best relationship is with $ cause I'm able to : go / do whatever I want without the lies/cheating men do
Happened to me. I will NEVER try to date again. EVER!
Brian, it seems as if you have someone else reading your audiobooks. It would be really great if you read your books. You have a kind, sincere and calming voice and it would compliment your audiobooks.
Your video comes exactly when needed. Thank you, you're amazing
"Get married on July 4th, and celebtare, forever, the end of your independence", 😂😂😂 Brian you crack me up. Great content though.
I just want to thank him for leaving me alone. Now I love my dream more than him and I realize my worth.
What i appreciate is that you always come to the point in your video's! You don't waste time and tell it like it is.
the relationship I’m in at the moment, it’s just a friendship. So I’m letting her take the wheel.
I’ve a saying, “ if the wolf seeks the Love of the dove, he must tread very carefully “
She is a fantastic woman. Soft warm and gentle.
This is so true. When I was young and hot, I got lots of attention but not too many men chased me for long because I so much wanted to be in a relationship. Now I'm 45 and so over the games men play, I'd rather be single. I'm the fattest I've ever been too, yet lately men 15 years younger than me have been chasing after me because I call them on their BS, I tell them to get lost when they come sniffing around for a booty call - even when I physically want them too, I'm just too old to not settle for a gentleman anymore - and it astounds me how I still get phone calls and attention. I just wish I had figured this out earlier.
It doesn't matter that you have gained extra pounds, because you are now standing your ground whereas before you may have seemed desparate and more focused on trying to please those who could not appreciate you, but at that time, you were not being the real you either. But those were learning curves setting you up for Mr. Right one day! Now, you recognize the game and you just let them know from the jump where you stand. That's attractive and it may seem to that man that you don't really seeming to care one way or the other. Now, here comes the chase, because you have become a challenge, and you have become interesting and so they want to invest more in how they approach you. You'd be surprised how at times it is the younger men who tend to show that they appreciate and respect you more. 💕
@@deloresmcneil8005 Yes that is all so true! I just read back what I wrote and I laughed because it comes off like I was bragging. But at least I'm not like how I used to be - exactly as you said - coming off as desperate and it's amazing how not giving a crap makes you more interesting to a man. The man that was chasing me back then is still chasing me and it's hilarious and empowering.
That what I did to my husband. I put him as a priority, put him on pedestal. What he did? He treated me like a trash. He hurt me over n over. Even cheated me.
Then I showed him the real me.
I asked him firmly to go away from my life .
So I’m in this situation right now. Started dating a guy 3.5 months ago. Met him online .After 4 th date he asked to be exclusive, so I said ok but we should then delete out profiles which he did . We were meeting once or twice a week and he also introduced me to his friends etc.All seemed well, also didn’t sleep with him till our 12 th date.
.
Last 3 weeks he started a new job and a new business. Got extremely busy and also traveling.
I was supportive the entire time she didn’t complain or ask for anything .
But then I noticed him pulling away and becoming less and less responsive .
Finally completely gone
After being absent for nearly a week he called and said that it had nothing to do with me but him being too busy and also admitted to being scared of the relationship and clamming up .Asked me out and set up another 2 dates with me.I said to him in a very calm way that I’m not going to force a relationship, I’ll be ok if he’s not happy and wants to move on but he insisted that he liked me a lot and wants to continue seeing me.
Out of curiosity I went back and checked his profile was active again
Now I don’t know how to approach this..
Are you cool with being friends with benefits? What is your value? Are you lovable? Do you want a man that respects and loves you more than just for sex?
My advice: say no to the bread crumbs he wants to give you now. He either will come around and see what a high value woman you are or you meet your perfect partner who does. Either way: you win😘❤
'Make him disappear switch' love it 💖
Completely true, Brian... great advice for women who just do not get it...
Hey, Brian, you give such great advice. Thanks. I am still learning how men think in general. I did what women actually do when they're interested. Your right, they fell away. And lost interest and I was devastated but now, I have learnt my lesson and giving him a lot of space now.
Thank you, Brian, for sharing your great perspective in any relationship status. You really did a great job and I really hope that God will Bless you more.
Me is the Priority, never an Option!
No Woman all over the World Need a Gamer or Player!!! Lg from Germany
"Never give away your importance to anyone"
Your videis are awesome ...even though he doesnot come back to me ...i m gonna find my worth.....thankyou so much for helping out Brian😍🤗🤗🤗🤗
I would love the roses and poems 😂
If you can scare a guy by saying be in a relationship then I am sorry it is not for me.. because they have no clue what they want... You can't not scare anyone who are healed, happy, confident and really in love with me.
Sir i love your face .and voice ...your voice is so much soothing and relexing.i love to listen you
Hi Geert! I've finally got your name right! Thank you for sharing your thoughtful insights will us. Lots of humour as usual. 😊👍 🙏🌸
July 4th independence day. Dying laughing. Brian, great tips with humor. Love it.
My boyfriend betrayed me when he found someone better than me😢I was an option to him ....this has led me into depression
saphora mahii ...believe me, you will look back and be happier. You will find someone much better. I used to feel like that but I just move on and remind myself of when I didn’t think I was able. Trust me, you will smile again soon😊
Get, RUN for professional help. Betrayal can cause deep wounds
Thank you, Brian!! It is so wonderful to hear the perspective of a man who values women!! This is great insight and helpful...where we're you when I was 20...so many mistakes I have made :-\
Amazing to read all these comments 🙄 specially after having heard the excellent explanation above! Watch the video instead, take it in and stop repeating yourself, seeing things only from your perspectives!
I am a girl, but reading these ridiculous negative comments about men makes me understand how hopeless we women can be...
Wise advise.. wish I had seen this 3 yrs ago.
Melanie... totally agree with u.... however he is right... its called emotional intelligence.🤷♀️
I love the humor in your great advice. It makes me giggle as it makes a lot of sense🥰👍
Great video - exactly what I have been experiencing for a long time. Now the mystery gas been solved. Many thanks Brian! :)
I really enjoy to watch your videos. Your message is very informative and you seem like a genuine nice person.
Blessing in disguise right now with the corona virus.
Meet ups have to be postponed and other means like phone and video calls reveals how interested someone really is😉👌
What to do when you did it all wrong? That would be a good video...
You're brilliant, great content, easy to understand and relate to, thank you 🦋
At work I started to get feelings for a friend I worked with. He was 18 and I was 22. He took and held my hand, said he wanted to kiss me, called me beautiful and said I really was beautiful and even said " where have you been all my life". after he did all this stuff I finally grew the courage to tell him I like him and he said everything was platonic and to not overthink it and that he likes messing with me and I was just like ok well if u don't like me then stop messing with me. And the same night I told him I liked him, he went out with another girl and made out with her. Yes I'm ok😂
He is a sadist. To be honest, I also suspect the guy I liked was doing this on purpose to mess with me (lovebombing over the top cringey stuff to check how naive/dumb i am, demeaning rude comments disguised as jokes & telling how im crazy/over sensitive to be affected, making me jealous on purpose, comparing me with other women about things i can’t change, targeting my weak spots, etc). Although my senseless torment lasted a long time, like a year. Trying to disentangle myself and find new people to talk to.
Great information Brian. Pleasure, as always 🌟✨⭐️
On the one hand I wish I had found these videos a long time ago because it would have saved me a lot of time. On the other hand I find I can't even make myself talk to guys anymore.
I got u... i don’t understand myself either. I like the ones who doesn’t wants me and ignored the ones who likes me. I like the challenge;(
shenshen2408 so basically at the end your lie to yourself and become confused and say GOOD MEN DONT EXIST ? You don’t like nice guys and that’s the thing.
This man is a good man
It unbelievable how much relationships have evolved in such a way that we are all looking for someone who is like us , actually 🙂🥰
Good job Brian! Really good and helpful video!
Enjoy yr loved ones totally. Avoid sharing love and time...life is hard...revoke sharing...
Damn how I love your videos.
You are a eye opener.
I should read your books.
Thankyou Brian. You are way better. Than any others.
Love your videos
Very helpful
Thank you 🦋🧚🏻♂️🦋
At this point I’m just confounded by how long everything takes. Every. Sluggish. Response. I feel as if I’m being tested for a patience training marathon model. Covid conditions accelerate mutual need - possibly because every act of physical touch, every hug, and sweet little kiss seems infused with so much more meaning. It’s very deceptive - because it IS. But just below the surface, my bloods tells me, “Watch it... Watch your emotions... Watch him... Give him only what he gives you. Not an eyelash more. Mirror his actions...and guard your heart...”
Holding my pose - Maintaining the space between us is exhausting. I’d love for once to sing, 🎶 Time is on own side...🎶
Thats always happen men your into are not into you, and men you don't like chase after you! Know wonder if you meet a guy you like and they seem to like you you think bingo! So its very yucky when things don't work out. Ive give up on dating had 30 odd years of shitty men.
I like your videos, short but pretty straightforward.
I will never become an option to anyone, at no point is that ever going to happen
He told me last night that he had too much on at the minute and could we still be friends, hes too scared of being hurt again.... Thats almost 4 yrs iv hoped of getting with him as he was my first crush at school. If theres one valueable thing iv learned, not to tell a guy how i feel about him too soon again.... plus hes a drug addict... i ended up blocking him
I’d like to know why so many men are into masculine looking women?
Strawberry Cat what?
Moni Pampeloni women who wear men’s clothes, no makeup ever. Manly looking face.
What are you talking about 😀
Man do prefer more natural look.
Me too.
@@Canadiangrammarpolice so, just a woman who doesnt look exactly like you? Idk something tells me theyre into becky from the office down the hall bc youre crazy af
Artbug I never said they had to look exactly like me. I said they look like men.
This is actually human psychology, we all trying to build a shield within us before we ever open up ourselves to a new person we just meet, no matter how much we like the person because we have to really feel the trust before we show our vulnerability especially comes to relationships, this is a mature person would behave. I made the mistake before now I learned. Thanks Brian for your ever greatest
teaching that we can only hear it from our elderly parents. God blesses you always.
Appreciate your sense of humor