I honestly believe that if a man loves me…nothing will hold him back from giving me the love that I truly deserve. Men are pretty straightforward…no commitment means he doesn’t value you enough to give it to you.
@@alubloba So, That Means They Eventually "JST PLAY" With The Both Women/Plot The Scenarios To Get Only What They Want..🙂 Even.. That Shows Men Actually Can't Truly Love/Devoted To The One Women For Their Lifetm.. They Needed Multiple Women In Their Life Phrases Lyk Loving A Woman(Fake Dramaz Coz, They're Not Willing To Marry Her Since The 1st/They Nvr Think To Settle Down💁♀️ & That's JST Their Time-pass Phrase To Discover Them/Practicing SEX With Them In The Name Of Love😏🤣).. Then Marry Another Woman When They JST Get Bored & Frustrated By Their Own Manipulative Games On Her For The Longtm To Be With Them! 🤷♀️ **Then They Start(Call PLAN) For Next Lvl Playing Ground In Their Lifespan Called "FKNG MARRIAGE MISSION"!!😆 & After That They Start Their Extra Legendary NXT Playing Course Named "EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS"...😆😁 & This Games Will Be Continue & Continue As "SLEEPING HERE & THERE BEHIND HIS SPOUSE"... If The Wife's Too "Sober,Innocence & Comfort In Their Show-Called "Best Married Couple" Award🏆Wining Type Nonsense Dramaz(Maybe the Wife Even Doesn't Know/ Recognize Abt Her True Fkng Place/Stand In His Lovey-Dovey Jerk Man's Life!!)😊 **Yaahh..U Know Whtt! "U're Jst Too Right"..👍🏼 I See Even Men Are Not Really-Really Worthy Of Getting A Woman's Purest Heart❤ & Love,Attention,Cares & Times Of Their Life,, No Matter What The Role Of That Woman's Role Is(Gf/Wie!) In Their Life..🤷♀️ They're Only Worth Of Same Amount Of Fkng Mind🧠Games,Sex,Using Money & Time-pass Etcs... & After Then When That Women Also Get Bored On Them Should Immediately Discard/Dump Them In A Dustbin AS TRASHES🚮 *WHERE THEY SUITS BEST RATHER THAN WOMEN'S LIFE..😎
Yeap!! I've healed and was able to walk away, whereas unhealed me would have stayed. No one deserves to be an option when you make them a priority. We deserve better!!
@@jthatsher368 I had a similar situation. What helped me was to write down all the things I didn’t want in this date either. Some of it may resemble your ex. But it definitely gives you a clear view. Hope it helps. ☺️
If someone is showing you who they are and don’t see your value, no matter how much time you invested in the relationship, let them go. One thing you cannot get back is time. If he is willing to let you go, let it go! And this can be someone who married you. Healing is available at any stage in your life.
Let me tell you something ladies and gentlemen relationships are not supposed to be hard not supposed to be writing a dissertation they are supposed to flow easily and naturally and if it does not do that without a lot of thought and processing get out and stay out no love treats you like that. Read the warning signs drop that ZERO and get your self a HERO👑💕🤗
@@Upintheskywithstarr thats because he wants his benefits still without having to commit to effort in the marriage. What a chump! You deserve better girl
Let them go ladies! I just did this with a guy who was not bringing me peace to my life so I finally said I don’t like the way you treat me and I’m moving on!! End of story
Stephen I don't appreciate you calling me out like that lol. I'm definitely getting my act together. Loneliness kept me going back to an unfulfilling off and on relationship.
That's exactly right! This is so helpful. He never tries to correct anything. It absolutely doesn't even matter to him, I actually don't matter to him. I find myself begging and pleading and feeling so ashamed and be the fool at the end of the day. My heart feels broken like everyday. He totally breadcrumbs me and gaslights me everyday. I've been in total isolation and it's extremely depressing and I'm medicating myself just to get through it. A vicious cycle is and understatement! 😭💔👎😞🤢😞
Loving the Universe Oh honey, really feel you. Been thru it & hope never again🙏 I'm 52 & recently into a great r'ship - learned lessons from past mistakes etc. Better version of myself for sure!!!!! Darling girl, do NOT beg or accept breadcrumbs from a man.. Mirror him - no effort? Well u make no effort then. Simples🤓 Sure Stephan wud agree, if a man TRULY wants you, he will make the goddam effort!! I don't normally comment on videos, but wanted to give a virtual hug 🤗 Don't be desperate either.. go get a massage or something NICE for YOU. Yr No.1 - OKAY !!?? 😘😘
Get out before you DIE FROM ADRENAL FATIGUE AND DEPRESSION THOSE ARE REAL THINGS. What's he good for? Some D? Some jokes here n there? He got a nice smile? You like his calves? What???? What exactly is making you stay? I'll tell you.... Your own made up world in your head ....that's what. You convinced yourself that even though he isn't showing u he loves you he does, he's just "a bit broken and has a hard time in life" No. This is what we tell ourselves to keep ourselves from breaking. He's a LOSER. HE IS NOT A MAN, HES A BOY. Leave him and worry about you!!
Women protect your PEACE!! No matter how good you act or how ride or die you are you will still get cheated on !! Let’s stop making men a priority and make children , family , and friends one #2023
I can’t settle for someone who’s settling for me. I’d rather die unwed even though marriage is a life goal of mine. My husband will be family and getting divorced won’t be a possibility because he will feel the same about me and about marriage. If I don’t ever meet a man I can call my husband, I will at least feel good about staying authentic to myself and to others. I’d rather die alone than die feeling lonely and mistreated because I chose marriage over a man who wants to hear me and understand me and build an atmosphere we both can thrive in. An ex of mind divorced a second time, I could’ve been than second wife and I’m glad I didn’t let my excitement and feelings ignore exactly what was going on which Stephan explains in this video. This video brought clarity to me and why something didn’t feel right, and it wasn’t just my nerves! That gut feeling is right! We can feel when someone doesn’t love us or invest in us the way we do in them.
This is spot on. Im recovering from this type of thing right now. I was dating a seemingly wonderful man. Great career, active father, had his own business. The downside, hes in a biker club and he leaves for several days on rides. That wasnt the main problem, the problem is that he would leave without saying anything to me. I told him I had an issue with this. All I asked is that he let me know when he was going to leave and stay in touch while gone. He pretended to correct the issue by explaining to me that his contact with me was sporadic because he cant ride his motorcycle and text at the same time. so fast forward, he did well for a few months with telling me he would be on the road. And now we're back to square one. Im walking away because I know Im not a priority to him. In the past I would have tried to get him back but no, thats it for me.
Girlll saaame! Same situation, he's in a biker club as well, always on the road always back and forth with people and his 'missions' etc. Im fine with it, I'm supportive, patient.. but after a while he showed his priorities. He's a father as well but he said a lot of messed up things about how he is not the "family" type of guy and that his family are his boys/members etc. I know I'll never be a priotity to him and even tho i know he's emotionally very wounded and I'm trying everything to show him what real love and compassion feels like, i don't feel valued at all. It ruined me and my mental health for good and now im trying to heal and i hope you can as well
Mine was a country a$$ fisher/hunter, softball players.. I was rushed on dates.. Watched movies sitting upright, and ate his greasy ah food.. Anytime I looked like I wanted to discuss anything, It was an instant attitude problem… Gay self🙄
Exactly the first fight or argument we ever had was after we broke up and the fact he didn’t fight for our friendship at all let’s me know how much he actually cared. I was actually hurt and way more attached to him then he was to me. And I really truly loved that man. 😔
As soon as we’re ready to discuss something that makes us uncomfortable… they switch out!… Like you’re a broke toy or something… I’m forever saying NI&&A please..🙄 And then they do double back. It’s weird. I do it now for sport. Seeing the different forms and fashions they “GITCHA” with in the beginning… 🤔 No matter how sweet kind and giving I am, I get NO grace when it’s time to teach how I want to be treated. Like how dare I have an issue???? It’s very bizarre..
Several years ago I decided to hurt just ONE day versus 365 days. The pain was immense. So immense that when I see THOSE signs (yall know what I mean) I SPRINT in the opposite direction. I thank GOD everyday for discernment.
This is so exhausting. If I'm an option just leave me alone. Alot of times they have no reason to be unhappy. They just want you to accept their bullshit and be quiet about it. Don't have time for that bs
I’m tired of the game. I changed and I’m letting him pull my strings. He won’t he keeps telling me “ why do I want a title “ no I want someone who want me.
I wish some of these coaches talk directly to men and tell them how to act right and stop playing with these woman feelings. I think men probably need male coaches! Thanks for giving an eye opener someone need to hear it
Thank you for this video. I’m young and recently ran into a guy like this and 2 days ago stopped talking to him for this specific reason. I kept bringing things to his situation but their was no urge to make a change. I started feeling as if I was not a priority to him, not important,was begging for this and that and I don’t deserve to feel like that. Knowing that I deserve way better than that.
I did everything mentioned...I got the attention and yet he was back doing the same thing...All of this over and over again...I finally gave up and walked away from him...His actions showed me where he'd rather be...I was in unwanted competition and another option on the table...Imagine being clowned for years...Loving someone while hes loving everyone else over me...Being used, disrespected by him and allowing other women to call me a bitch, basically disrespecting me because hes wanting their attention and not wanting to lose the attention they give to boost his ego, when they had no clue of who or what i was to him...There was no relationship...it was all a dream...Im fully awake now...
Wish I have watched this one alot sooner. This could've save half of my life from chaos and unworthy person! 😢 This are a must watch for my children when they grow up so they know how they can haldle and troubleshoot relationships.
Yeah I’ve made up my mind and consider men huge energy drainers. At this point I enjoy watching your videos bc those polo shirts look great on you 😊 Merry Christmas Stephan! 🎄Thanks for all your time and energy 💟
Thank you for being that big brother and spiritual voice of reason to help us be clear about what we should and shouldn't deal with in relationships 🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️
I hope and pray that I will not be another option to him, real love is staying with one person you love deeply when two people place each other as a definite priority only in one another.
Well as for me I don't want to be in any competition .. If a man is not making me his number one and spend time with me ..He could be missing out on the one that will have His Best interest and having that connection.. I wouldn't want to bring any issues to that person because we are not in a committed relationship So I need to handle whatever I have going on .. Sorry ..cause I'm not going to have different men ..if I choose him than He's the one Until we both decide as Adults it's not going to work
I’m so glad I don’t do this anymore. And the way I do it is by completely staying away or being open to an interaction with a man at all. It’s sad but that works well for me so I’ll continue to do it since it works and I don’t want to bounce back into what he is talking about ever again.
Then dont....the first time they lie, we are victims, If u decide to stay after that you become a volunteer.....doing it to yourself....stop.. Find someone better, love u instead
You are so right !!!!! I’m choosing me for sure now. I take accountability for my part in allowing him to treat a certain way. I finally opened my eyes and heart to me. I’m the only import person in my life. I stopped giving him my attention and love. He’s tried getting back with me but it’s a no for me, thank you 🙏 I appreciate your honesty and being candid. Some people aren’t ready to hear the truth but I received it , so thank you 😊
That’s the problem with some of you men. You think we’re options or objects to own. Guess what! We can get along fine without you. It’s you who needs us!
Not really, like sure, us ladies these days have more choices and options now in careers, etc. where our focus isn't on finding a man and husband. Keep telling yourself that cos that's feminism these days, sadly, which is a toxic mindset. Men need women, but women need men also! We need one another! We were made to procreate.. ironically enough.. why are you on this video, though, commenting if it's about men treating us like options? mhm 👀
@@lastdays8500 feminism is a thing where we demand equal rights. Would help if you learned word meanings. Feminism isn’t a toxic mindset demanding and getting equality. Women don’t need men. If sex is the reason to hook up there’s a problem for both. Why am I on this video? I watch all sorts of them and some I get just by title only. This one I watched a little and it was in my feed unasked. Don’t need permission on what videos I watch. From the little I saw yes women seemed like options in treatment.
The guy I’ve been seeing for 3 months now has been giving me excuses about something finally I brought it up in a serious manner and the guy switched the radio on I have never felt so dismissed
When I was in a situationship, he would do this same exact thing. I’d bring up an issue and he would take his phone out and just scroll on social media and blatantly ignore me- and I stayed in that situation for over a year and the disrespect just got worse over time until it became unbearable. Don’t tolerate the disrespect and leave him girl!!
RUN! Trust me, 3 months is not that long and you will get over him quickly. It won't be so easy after 3 years, when you find out just how really mean and cruel he is. He's literally just told you he doesn't give a FUK what you think. This relationship will damage yo so badly if you stay. Peace and love xxx
If a man is dating 5 women then the women will always be an option. The priority needs to be with God. If there’s no God then the relationship will always step n repeat. Pray together and you should shall stay together. If the relationship can pull that way, it will be ok. God is love and both parties needs to be committed.
My friend just came back from there and loved it! The pictures from Tanzania 🇹🇿 are so beautiful and peaceful! I’m looking forward to visiting myself someday 😊❤
Should’ve seen this video 6 month ago before my ex wanting to break up w me. We were having argument and he just pulled away. He wouldn’t talk to me for days and no calls like usual. I begged for him I’ll change my behavior when actually I forgot his actions to get me to reach the point I got angry. I should’ve told him and be more straight up and be more reasonable. I didn’t know back then. And I kept a begging even after we broke up. Thank you for the video it helps me realize how I’m supposed to deal with the same situation. Not just keep blaming myself 💯 just because I don’t wanna lose the man
The man who was pursing me did me like this and I ended up being a baby mother on top of I found out he was married. After all his bullshit came to light. I was so blinded by my emotions on trying to make something that wasn't working out or meant for me at all. However as a single mother It has taught me to love me more and be aware of what a man said by his actions.
Well Described This Non Priorities Matter In A Very Short Video👍🏼 & U've Covered All The Possible Scenarios..That No Matter What's Their Actual Reason Is/Not Or Manipulative Dramaz Was Their Side😏 Bt, Women Should Nvr Ever 🙅Priorities/Pursue A Guy Who's UNAVAILABLE For Her(No Matter Their Position As GF/WIFE!).. Not Prioritize & Committed To Her At 1st Place With The Same Amounts Of Energies & Efforts She Pours Into Him/ To Be With Him..!! Coz, They Both Should Be Authentic Frm Their Own Feelings & Emotional Ground To Be With Each-Other... Otherwise, No Mind Games/*BS/Blaming/Planning & Plotting Will Nvr-Ever Gonna Work If They're Corrupted By Their Own 🧠 & ❤..😏 That's Why..Maybe They Both Responsible Same To Run A Relationship For The Long-term/Or RUIN..🙂
OMG when you said she ran... that was me... I ran cause of my own insecurities and I'm scared of a good thing, as it turns out, so is he! 😅 Currently, addressing my issues and building my self esteem 🥰
I have been married for 23 years, and my husband has cheated on me 4 times that I know of.. I always take him back. He changes for a little while, and then he goes back to old ways. We'll last, which was last year, and again, I took him back. I finally realized I'm nothing but an option to him.. I know I need to leave him, but it is so hard to. I know he doesn't love me. How do I just walk away.
First and foremost, you must decide that you are worthy of an authentic genuine love, starting with the love from yourself. Next, file for divorce. Losing him to find you is not a loss at all. Another place to start is therapy. Think about your physical health. What has he brought you back or possibly could have brought back to you? Is there outside children? There's proof of infidelity and you have it. Think about your mental health and the abuse you have taken for years. Now take back your power and your life. No more can you blame him for something that you willing stay in. Once he broke the covenant and vows by including an outside person you were no longer obligated to uphold your end of the bargain. He nullified the contract with his actions. Don't think about the time invested or rather wasted. You are able to pick up the pieces once again. Move in silence. Get your finances separated and cut off sexual intimacy. Pray...ask for wisdom, protection, strength, guidance and courage. You can do this. You owe this to yourself. Shalom peace and blessings on your journey 🙏🏽💜
He gets angry over silly things and he doesn’t say sorry. He just sends me a message saying Good morning like it’s nothing. He also rings me when he wants as he says he’s busy and he also organises when we should meet. Is this a red flag?
Major red flag run.. I have been there and it will be harder later if you don’t leave now as the are good with sweets words when they are bored and come back to take and drain your energy. Love is patience and admitting you are wrong
Yes ma’am, do not get attached to him. You owe him no explanation. Cut the cord. That sounds like a possible abuser mental, emotionally and physically. Leave sis, better will come!
The thing is that I’ve known this guy since I was in my teens but on the surface. When he knew I was single he started calling me every day three times a day and even more. He asked me to meet up with him for a chat outside .. a walk in the park. We got talking about things. I have been separated for a while and wasn’t looking to have a relationship with anyone. Anyway things happened so fast between us which was very unlike me to rush into something. He rang me every day. He knew I liked the outdoors and would take me to parks to walk and talk. Maybe to a pub or two. When I asked him to meet up he would say he was busy with his family etc….. He would decide when we could meet or where to go basically. Then one day he rang me and I said something he didn’t like and shouted at me on the phone… really shouted or he would say I didn’t let him talk. I answered saying I would not tolerate this behaviour and he went quiet and said fine and put down the phone. The next day he just sent a message saying Wishing you a lovely day Princess. He would phone me up and ask me what I was up to etc…. At times he would say strange things playing the victim about his job etc…. Now this has happened again I’d say something and he would start an argument acting strange become nasty. I answered him saying I don’t understand why he gets so nasty and told him that I wasn’t going to tolerate his behaviour and he put down the phone. The next morning he send me a message saying Merry Christmas. I didn’t answer until late afternoon. I just wrote the same to you. Then he send me a message asking me if I was ok. I just sent a thumbs up sign and have not heard from him since. What would you all do in this situation? I felt something was off in the first place. Everything happened … I think he love bombed me but I am not sure as I have only been with my husband who I have known for 23 years. I am a bit out of practice when it comes to dating. All his messages and calling are via messenger FB.
He is a narcissistic person, they love bomb you until you are emotionally attached and then they start triggering you by gaslighting you and they hate accountability. Just take it this way he only contacts you when he is bored or needs attention to boast his ego. They hurt your feelings ignore you for a while waiting for you to chase them if you don’t chase they come back and say Good morning my love like nothing happened. Don’t fall for it they are time wasters and users
@@annanicolaou3180 Let him go! Walk away...he is love bombing and he's spending time with other people. Dating is for data - the data on him is a "no" ....hope you haven't had sex w/ him.
In simple terms…if both of you are showing up talking about the life you have, the similarities, the comfort, the joy… and it’s easy.. and you can talk about anything..remain. Otherwise WALK away.
He didn’t value you enough to make things right. Unfortunately. Sometimes you will encounter people who are takers. They gladly take take take and give nothing. As long as HIS needs were met in those 20 years it’s very possible he didn’t care that much at all.
@@xan8185 yup that is what I figured out the hard way. I was young and didn’t know any better when I met him. I hope the young ladies are learning and doing better now.
What if he propose with no ring a yr ago and he still haven’t gotten the ring??? He claim his finances has been in shambles but still gonna get it HELP
❤ Here’s your chance to get your personal questions answered by me for FREE go to 👉 www.askstephanspeaks.com
I don't want nobody that doesn't want me! 💯
Dam right 🙏🏿
I understand. To use me to level up only is RIDICULOUS!
AMEN!🔥
Amen
“Anybody”
I honestly believe that if a man loves me…nothing will hold him back from giving me the love that I truly deserve. Men are pretty straightforward…no commitment means he doesn’t value you enough to give it to you.
Period
And no commitment from the woman means she's not valuing him much either...it goes both ways imo
This is women mindset, man does not think like this. Evolutionary we are different, he marries when he is ready, not when he loves…
Yess.. Absolutely 👍🏼
@@alubloba So, That Means They Eventually "JST PLAY" With The Both Women/Plot The Scenarios To Get Only What They Want..🙂
Even.. That Shows Men Actually Can't Truly Love/Devoted To The One Women For Their Lifetm..
They Needed Multiple Women In Their Life Phrases Lyk Loving A Woman(Fake Dramaz Coz, They're Not Willing To Marry Her Since The 1st/They Nvr Think To Settle Down💁♀️ & That's JST Their Time-pass Phrase To Discover Them/Practicing SEX With Them In The Name Of Love😏🤣).. Then Marry Another Woman When They JST Get Bored & Frustrated By Their Own Manipulative Games On Her For The Longtm To Be With Them! 🤷♀️
**Then They Start(Call PLAN) For Next Lvl Playing Ground In Their Lifespan Called "FKNG MARRIAGE MISSION"!!😆
& After That They Start Their Extra Legendary NXT Playing Course Named "EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS"...😆😁
& This Games Will Be Continue & Continue As "SLEEPING HERE & THERE BEHIND HIS SPOUSE"...
If The Wife's Too "Sober,Innocence & Comfort In Their Show-Called "Best Married Couple" Award🏆Wining Type Nonsense Dramaz(Maybe the Wife Even Doesn't Know/ Recognize Abt Her True Fkng Place/Stand In His Lovey-Dovey Jerk Man's Life!!)😊
**Yaahh..U Know Whtt! "U're Jst Too Right"..👍🏼
I See Even Men Are Not Really-Really Worthy Of Getting A Woman's Purest Heart❤ & Love,Attention,Cares & Times Of Their Life,, No Matter What The Role Of That Woman's Role Is(Gf/Wie!) In Their Life..🤷♀️
They're Only Worth Of Same Amount Of Fkng Mind🧠Games,Sex,Using Money & Time-pass Etcs...
& After Then When That Women Also Get Bored On Them Should Immediately Discard/Dump Them In A Dustbin AS TRASHES🚮
*WHERE THEY SUITS BEST RATHER THAN WOMEN'S LIFE..😎
Relationships are so hard. I don’t think I have the patience for one.
👏🏼👏🏼
How are you doing over there? I’m jones from Dallas Texas where are you from?
So very hard indeed!
neither of us
@jonesmoore relationship don’t work out most of the time dear
My ex didnt make an effort. My current partner does everything to make our relationship work. You are right on this one
Seems like the good ones are taken😔 I wonder where the island of good men is🤔How did you find him?🤔
@ Simplythetruthfulone
Most good men are already married
@@MB-xv7er and still searching for options...smh
I'm happy for you 💞
Girl my ex was just like this. I finally was able to officially break that soul tie
Yeap!! I've healed and was able to walk away, whereas unhealed me would have stayed. No one deserves to be an option when you make them a priority. We deserve better!!
Literally why I left after 8 months. It’s been two weeks now and I’m definitely struggling but we keep it pushing here. 😊
@@fizahaque You will be fine.❤
I healed now I have to reheal all over again after a new dude put me in a state to never want to date again
@@royaltemi_ thank you 😊
@@jthatsher368 I had a similar situation. What helped me was to write down all the things I didn’t want in this date either. Some of it may resemble your ex. But it definitely gives you a clear view. Hope it helps. ☺️
If someone is showing you who they are and don’t see your value, no matter how much time you invested in the relationship, let them go. One thing you cannot get back is time. If he is willing to let you go, let it go! And this can be someone who married you. Healing is available at any stage in your life.
Let me tell you something ladies and gentlemen relationships are not supposed to be hard not supposed to be writing a dissertation they are supposed to flow easily and naturally and if it does not do that without a lot of thought and processing get out and stay out no love treats you like that. Read the warning signs drop that ZERO and get your self a HERO👑💕🤗
Yes thank you I don't know why people think it's suppose to be hard..everything we want we give our all I wish people stop that mind set
My ex husband felt our marriage (me) wasn't worth it, it was easier to move on cause of less work, but won't leave me alone!
@@Upintheskywithstarr thats because he wants his benefits still without having to commit to effort in the marriage. What a chump! You deserve better girl
Let them go ladies! I just did this with a guy who was not bringing me peace to my life so I finally said I don’t like the way you treat me and I’m moving on!! End of story
Louderrrrrr for those in the back!!!🗣🗣🗣
Go girl!
Thank God you were able to walk away with your life!!
If he loves you he will go to the ends of the Earth for you❤️
For a little while...
Amen, always remember he will repeat the behavior if you compromise your values.
Exactly
Stephen I don't appreciate you calling me out like that lol. I'm definitely getting my act together. Loneliness kept me going back to an unfulfilling off and on relationship.
I have said I was done too many times . Hope I can stick to my boundaries and actually cut him off. Same thing with my ex
I won’t do that
That's exactly right! This is so helpful. He never tries to correct anything. It absolutely doesn't even matter to him, I actually don't matter to him. I find myself begging and pleading and feeling so ashamed and be the fool at the end of the day. My heart feels broken like everyday. He totally breadcrumbs me and gaslights me everyday. I've been in total isolation and it's extremely depressing and I'm medicating myself just to get through it. A vicious cycle is and understatement! 😭💔👎😞🤢😞
I feel for you...🙁 Been through that.. 😔😔😔
Loving the Universe Oh honey, really feel you. Been thru it & hope never again🙏 I'm 52 & recently into a great r'ship - learned lessons from past mistakes etc. Better version of myself for sure!!!!!
Darling girl, do NOT beg or accept breadcrumbs from a man..
Mirror him - no effort? Well u make no effort then. Simples🤓
Sure Stephan wud agree, if a man TRULY wants you, he will make the goddam effort!!
I don't normally comment on videos, but wanted to give a virtual hug 🤗
Don't be desperate either.. go get a massage or something NICE for YOU. Yr No.1 - OKAY !!?? 😘😘
Sister maybe he has an avoidant attachment style, leave before it’s too late
leave
Get out before you DIE FROM ADRENAL FATIGUE AND DEPRESSION THOSE ARE REAL THINGS. What's he good for? Some D? Some jokes here n there? He got a nice smile? You like his calves? What???? What exactly is making you stay? I'll tell you....
Your own made up world in your head ....that's what. You convinced yourself that even though he isn't showing u he loves you he does, he's just "a bit broken and has a hard time in life"
No. This is what we tell ourselves to keep ourselves from breaking. He's a LOSER. HE IS NOT A MAN, HES A BOY. Leave him and worry about you!!
I WILL NEVER BE A MAN'S OPINION ANYMORE 💯💯 MY CROWN WILL STAY STANDING ON MY HEAD ❤️IM DONE SETTLING 💯THAT PART 💯💯
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
Yess QUEEN!!!!!
Women protect your PEACE!! No matter how good you act or how ride or die you are you will still get cheated on !! Let’s stop making men a priority and make children , family , and friends one #2023
This
Facts but most of the time women sense a man is unfaithful and stays until they get hard proof which is a betrayal to self
Every time I click on your video I have to emotionally prepare myself for the truth bombs, oh my little heart 😭
I can’t settle for someone who’s settling for me. I’d rather die unwed even though marriage is a life goal of mine. My husband will be family and getting divorced won’t be a possibility because he will feel the same about me and about marriage. If I don’t ever meet a man I can call my husband, I will at least feel good about staying authentic to myself and to others. I’d rather die alone than die feeling lonely and mistreated because I chose marriage over a man who wants to hear me and understand me and build an atmosphere we both can thrive in.
An ex of mind divorced a second time, I could’ve been than second wife and I’m glad I didn’t let my excitement and feelings ignore exactly what was going on which Stephan explains in this video. This video brought clarity to me and why something didn’t feel right, and it wasn’t just my nerves! That gut feeling is right! We can feel when someone doesn’t love us or invest in us the way we do in them.
This is another strategy, when they release you are right, they always try another way to pulling you back. Peace out
This is spot on. Im recovering from this type of thing right now. I was dating a seemingly wonderful man. Great career, active father, had his own business. The downside, hes in a biker club and he leaves for several days on rides. That wasnt the main problem, the problem is that he would leave without saying anything to me. I told him I had an issue with this. All I asked is that he let me know when he was going to leave and stay in touch while gone. He pretended to correct the issue by explaining to me that his contact with me was sporadic because he cant ride his motorcycle and text at the same time. so fast forward, he did well for a few months with telling me he would be on the road. And now we're back to square one. Im walking away because I know Im not a priority to him. In the past I would have tried to get him back but no, thats it for me.
Girlll saaame! Same situation, he's in a biker club as well, always on the road always back and forth with people and his 'missions' etc. Im fine with it, I'm supportive, patient.. but after a while he showed his priorities. He's a father as well but he said a lot of messed up things about how he is not the "family" type of guy and that his family are his boys/members etc. I know I'll never be a priotity to him and even tho i know he's emotionally very wounded and I'm trying everything to show him what real love and compassion feels like, i don't feel valued at all. It ruined me and my mental health for good and now im trying to heal and i hope you can as well
Mine was a country a$$ fisher/hunter, softball players.. I was rushed on dates.. Watched movies sitting upright, and ate his greasy ah food.. Anytime I looked like I wanted to discuss anything, It was an instant attitude problem… Gay self🙄
I will not work to keep ANYONE (man, family or friend) in my life. Thank you Stephan!
Exactly the first fight or argument we ever had was after we broke up and the fact he didn’t fight for our friendship at all let’s me know how much he actually cared. I was actually hurt and way more attached to him then he was to me. And I really truly loved that man. 😔
As soon as we’re ready to discuss something that makes us uncomfortable… they switch out!… Like you’re a broke toy or something… I’m forever saying NI&&A please..🙄 And then they do double back. It’s weird. I do it now for sport. Seeing the different forms and fashions they “GITCHA” with in the beginning… 🤔 No matter how sweet kind and giving I am, I get NO grace when it’s time to teach how I want to be treated. Like how dare I have an issue???? It’s very bizarre..
Just walked away from the love of my life. I wasn’t the one just an option
Several years ago I decided to hurt just ONE day versus 365 days. The pain was immense. So immense that when I see THOSE signs (yall know what I mean) I SPRINT in the opposite direction. I thank GOD everyday for discernment.
I’m sprinting every 3-4 mons it seems.. 🏃♀️ That representative wears off by then
Man I can’t wait to be loved . And married .
I gave him many deadlines to confirm plans, and he kept failing. I need to move on.
After getting treated like this, now I have 5 boyfriend's who do all sorts of work on my house for me, its working out well for now 🤣
I know that's right sis. We don't want to act masculine but damn these men take us there
😂😂😂 you re right, i m going to do that again, as i tried once again with a guy to end up being disappointed, no point..!!
You go girl..!!💪🏽💖🔥
Lmfaooooooooo okayyyyyy
That’s how u do it ! Lol but be careful about letting people know where you live
😂😂😂
Many people are married to the wrong person from the beginning for multiple reasons. Others are in it past its due date.
You mean past its expiry date?
Girl that the truth..
This is so exhausting. If I'm an option just leave me alone. Alot of times they have no reason to be unhappy. They just want you to accept their bullshit and be quiet about it. Don't have time for that bs
Be someone's priority not option!
@1:40 SO true. 😩 I need to be saved from this vicious cycle. It's fkng me up.
We shouldn't put all our happiness in the hands of a man! Just enjoy the company men are shallow
Exactly
facts yo!!
I’m tired of the game. I changed and I’m letting him pull my strings. He won’t he keeps telling me “ why do I want a title “ no I want someone who want me.
I wish some of these coaches talk directly to men and tell them how to act right and stop playing with these woman feelings. I think men probably need male coaches! Thanks for giving an eye opener someone need to hear it
You are right but will they listen to them? Like will they even search them up and watch their videos🥺
@@nanaabenadarkowaah1800 NOPE!! Unless it's bashing us black women they won't entertain anyone that makes them look at themselves in the mirror
Thank you for this video. I’m young and recently ran into a guy like this and 2 days ago stopped talking to him for this specific reason. I kept bringing things to his situation but their was no urge to make a change. I started feeling as if I was not a priority to him, not important,was begging for this and that and I don’t deserve to feel like that. Knowing that I deserve way better than that.
Don't date nobody you're not trying to really be with on a serious level.
“Rinse and Repeat “…this was me.😢
Me 2
Diane Woods That WAS me as well! I'm in my 60s now and happy to stay single, after way too many traumatic experiences. ❤
@@cyndigooch1162 I'm in my 60's too but I haven't given up hope!
Spot on !! I had to walk away but it hurts like hell.
I did everything mentioned...I got the attention and yet he was back doing the same thing...All of this over and over again...I finally gave up and walked away from him...His actions showed me where he'd rather be...I was in unwanted competition and another option on the table...Imagine being clowned for years...Loving someone while hes loving everyone else over me...Being used, disrespected by him and allowing other women to call me a bitch, basically disrespecting me because hes wanting their attention and not wanting to lose the attention they give to boost his ego, when they had no clue of who or what i was to him...There was no relationship...it was all a dream...Im fully awake now...
Wish I have watched this one alot sooner. This could've save half of my life from chaos and unworthy person! 😢 This are a must watch for my children when they grow up so they know how they can haldle and troubleshoot relationships.
Elf on a shelf, been there done that….
Neva again…..
You're right about that, Stephan. Thank you and God bless you.
Last guy I talked to everything was going pretty good but as soon as I spoke up about communication… silence no change I left
Your videos are so spot on!! You explain relationships so well it’s like gold to get to listen to you! Thank you so much!! ❤
I'm so glad I don't have to go through this..I know what Love looks like and feels like because of my guy🤗🤗
Narcissism Plays A Huge Role In These Types Of Relationships. Please Heal. Please Love You. Can't Get Time Back and We Only Live Once.
Yup exactly what I went through before I decided to break up with my ex
Great advice! Better on moving on after 8 years of marriage and 2 kids later. Life taught me great lessons and putting my foot down moving on.
Yeah I’ve made up my mind and consider men huge energy drainers. At this point I enjoy watching your videos bc those polo shirts look great on you 😊
Merry Christmas Stephan! 🎄Thanks for all your time and energy 💟
What happens when it’s the opposite when they are the ones who are coming to you acting like they want a commitment just to keep you in the loop
Thank you for being that big brother and spiritual voice of reason to help us be clear about what we should and shouldn't deal with in relationships 🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️
Healing is necessary, Amen Amen !! ThankYou🍯
I hope and pray that I will not be another option to him, real love is staying with one person you love deeply when two people place each other as a definite priority only in one another.
Well as for me I don't want to be in any competition .. If a man is not making me his number one and spend time with me ..He could be missing out on the one that will have His Best interest and having that connection.. I wouldn't want to bring any issues to that person because we are not in a committed relationship So I need to handle whatever I have going on .. Sorry ..cause I'm not going to have different men ..if I choose him than He's the one
Until we both decide as Adults it's not going to work
He sees future with me but I listen to so many dating advice and it makes me lose him now. lesson learned. No more listening to anyone advice again
Yes don’t listen to Dating advice anymore. Happened to me to. You are worthy of love and awesome because you’re you!
But what happens when the woman says okay I’m gonna move along since he ain’t giving me the time and attention again..
I’m so glad I don’t do this anymore. And the way I do it is by completely staying away or being open to an interaction with a man at all. It’s sad but that works well for me so I’ll continue to do it since it works and I don’t want to bounce back into what he is talking about ever again.
Wow …spot on , I’ve been dealing with a narcissist completely self absorbed ,unhealthy, hibitual lair
Then dont....the first time they lie, we are victims, If u decide to stay after that you become a volunteer.....doing it to yourself....stop..
Find someone better, love u instead
You are so right !!!!! I’m choosing me for sure now. I take accountability for my part in allowing him to treat a certain way. I finally opened my eyes and heart to me. I’m the only import person in my life. I stopped giving him my attention and love. He’s tried getting back with me but it’s a no for me, thank you 🙏 I appreciate your honesty and being candid. Some people aren’t ready to hear the truth but I received it , so thank you 😊
What if he says he was in a controlling relationship before and that is why he's not willing to move from dating to a commited relationship?
5:39 100% true, had been there.. And left myself after 10 years. Trust me on this, don't waste your years.
THANK YOU. I NEVER LOST ANYONE WHO WASN'T MINE 🙌🤞👌. THANK GOD IM SINGLE 🙌 😊🤞👌✌️.
Thanks for lighting the path in my journey.
I never understand is why can't people just be friends
You before a dating relationship or???
Doesn't work when u involve sex in the friendship
That’s the problem with some of you men. You think we’re options or objects to own. Guess what! We can get along fine without you. It’s you who needs us!
Not really, like sure, us ladies these days have more choices and options now in careers, etc. where our focus isn't on finding a man and husband. Keep telling yourself that cos that's feminism these days, sadly, which is a toxic mindset. Men need women, but women need men also! We need one another! We were made to procreate.. ironically enough.. why are you on this video, though, commenting if it's about men treating us like options? mhm 👀
@@lastdays8500 feminism is a thing where we demand equal rights. Would help if you learned word meanings. Feminism isn’t a toxic mindset demanding and getting equality. Women don’t need men. If sex is the reason to hook up there’s a problem for both. Why am I on this video? I watch all sorts of them and some I get just by title only. This one I watched a little and it was in my feed unasked. Don’t need permission on what videos I watch. From the little I saw yes women seemed like options in treatment.
The “I need his attention back “ part😮
The guy I’ve been seeing for 3 months now has been giving me excuses about something finally I brought it up in a serious manner and the guy switched the radio on I have never felt so dismissed
When I was in a situationship, he would do this same exact thing. I’d bring up an issue and he would take his phone out and just scroll on social media and blatantly ignore me- and I stayed in that situation for over a year and the disrespect just got worse over time until it became unbearable. Don’t tolerate the disrespect and leave him girl!!
Pffft..he's a loser. Boy not a man. Leeeeave
RUN! Trust me, 3 months is not that long and you will get over him quickly. It won't be so easy after 3 years, when you find out just how really mean and cruel he is.
He's literally just told you he doesn't give a FUK what you think. This relationship will damage yo so badly if you stay. Peace and love xxx
He’s running away from commitment
Don't get invested in him. Leave. Dismiss him, period.
If a man is dating 5 women then the women will always be an option. The priority needs to be with God. If there’s no God then the relationship will always step n repeat. Pray together and you should shall stay together. If the relationship can pull that way, it will be ok. God is love and both parties needs to be committed.
MEN do not play these games. Aged boys do. Know yea' the difference ladies.
I love how right your videos are...
Love from Tanzania🇹🇿🇹🇿🇹🇿
My friend just came back from there and loved it! The pictures from Tanzania 🇹🇿 are so beautiful and peaceful! I’m looking forward to visiting myself someday 😊❤
@@supernaturalvictorieswithsunnyyou are welcome😊
I could careless about a man i'm happy being paid and at peace without them
I know that’s right
I’m going through this exact thing at the moment
The guys that are good and care, point me in that direction
If he pull away I pull away
Stephan.....you be ON!!! I got rid of him!!!😂😂😂 Thank you!
In this microwave era just getting to know someone is like pulling teeth, so I can't even imagine even making it to the relationship stage
I feel this
GIRLL I KNOWW! It's terrible out here
@@CeceMEFit it really is
Me neither
Ikr everything is a mind game
Should’ve seen this video 6 month ago before my ex wanting to break up w me. We were having argument and he just pulled away. He wouldn’t talk to me for days and no calls like usual. I begged for him I’ll change my behavior when actually I forgot his actions to get me to reach the point I got angry. I should’ve told him and be more straight up and be more reasonable. I didn’t know back then. And I kept a begging even after we broke up. Thank you for the video it helps me realize how I’m supposed to deal with the same situation. Not just keep blaming myself 💯 just because I don’t wanna lose the man
I will not be no one option . I am made to be someone's wife one-day..
This hit home. A video I needed to see
The man who was pursing me did me like this and I ended up being a baby mother on top of I found out he was married. After all his bullshit came to light. I was so blinded by my emotions on trying to make something that wasn't working out or meant for me at all. However as a single mother It has taught me to love me more and be aware of what a man said by his actions.
Thank you for continuing to speak🙏🏾
Well Described This Non Priorities Matter In A Very Short Video👍🏼
& U've Covered All The Possible Scenarios..That No Matter What's Their Actual Reason Is/Not Or Manipulative Dramaz Was Their Side😏 Bt, Women Should Nvr Ever 🙅Priorities/Pursue A Guy Who's UNAVAILABLE For Her(No Matter Their Position As GF/WIFE!)..
Not Prioritize & Committed To Her At 1st Place With The Same Amounts Of Energies & Efforts She Pours Into Him/ To Be With Him..!!
Coz, They Both Should Be Authentic Frm Their Own Feelings & Emotional Ground To Be With Each-Other...
Otherwise, No Mind Games/*BS/Blaming/Planning & Plotting Will Nvr-Ever Gonna Work If They're Corrupted By Their Own 🧠 & ❤..😏
That's Why..Maybe They Both Responsible Same To Run A Relationship For The Long-term/Or RUIN..🙂
Wisdom Speaks.
OMG when you said she ran... that was me... I ran cause of my own insecurities and I'm scared of a good thing, as it turns out, so is he! 😅 Currently, addressing my issues and building my self esteem 🥰
I think we just ignore the signs and red flags at the beginning! STOP IGNORING THEM! Love yourself first and you will see more clearly.
Thank you so much for these videos. I really needed to here this.
I have been married for 23 years, and my husband has cheated on me 4 times that I know of.. I always take him back. He changes for a little while, and then he goes back to old ways. We'll last, which was last year, and again, I took him back. I finally realized I'm nothing but an option to him.. I know I need to leave him, but it is so hard to. I know he doesn't love me. How do I just walk away.
First and foremost, you must decide that you are worthy of an authentic genuine love, starting with the love from yourself. Next, file for divorce. Losing him to find you is not a loss at all. Another place to start is therapy. Think about your physical health. What has he brought you back or possibly could have brought back to you? Is there outside children? There's proof of infidelity and you have it. Think about your mental health and the abuse you have taken for years. Now take back your power and your life. No more can you blame him for something that you willing stay in. Once he broke the covenant and vows by including an outside person you were no longer obligated to uphold your end of the bargain. He nullified the contract with his actions. Don't think about the time invested or rather wasted. You are able to pick up the pieces once again. Move in silence. Get your finances separated and cut off sexual intimacy. Pray...ask for wisdom, protection, strength, guidance and courage. You can do this. You owe this to yourself. Shalom peace and blessings on your journey 🙏🏽💜
Why would he treat me as an option if he thinks Im a great catch???
He gets angry over silly things and he doesn’t say sorry. He just sends me a message saying Good morning like it’s nothing. He also rings me when he wants as he says he’s busy and he also organises when we should meet. Is this a red flag?
Major red flag run.. I have been there and it will be harder later if you don’t leave now as the are good with sweets words when they are bored and come back to take and drain your energy. Love is patience and admitting you are wrong
Yes ma’am, do not get attached to him. You owe him no explanation. Cut the cord. That sounds like a possible abuser mental, emotionally and physically. Leave sis, better will come!
The thing is that I’ve known this guy since I was in my teens but on the surface. When he knew I was single he started calling me every day three times a day and even more. He asked me to meet up with him for a chat outside .. a walk in the park. We got talking about things. I have been separated for a while and wasn’t looking to have a relationship with anyone. Anyway things happened so fast between us which was very unlike me to rush into something. He rang me every day. He knew I liked the outdoors and would take me to parks to walk and talk. Maybe to a pub or two. When I asked him to meet up he would say he was busy with his family etc….. He would decide when we could meet or where to go basically. Then one day he rang me and I said something he didn’t like and shouted at me on the phone… really shouted or he would say I didn’t let him talk. I answered saying I would not tolerate this behaviour and he went quiet and said fine and put down the phone. The next day he just sent a message saying Wishing you a lovely day Princess. He would phone me up and ask me what I was up to etc…. At times he would say strange things playing the victim about his job etc…. Now this has happened again I’d say something and he would start an argument acting strange become nasty. I answered him saying I don’t understand why he gets so nasty and told him that I wasn’t going to tolerate his behaviour and he put down the phone. The next morning he send me a message saying Merry Christmas. I didn’t answer until late afternoon. I just wrote the same to you. Then he send me a message asking me if I was ok. I just sent a thumbs up sign and have not heard from him since. What would you all do in this situation?
I felt something was off in the first place. Everything happened … I think he love bombed me but I am not sure as I have only been with my husband who I have known for 23 years. I am a bit out of practice when it comes to dating. All his messages and calling are via messenger FB.
He is a narcissistic person, they love bomb you until you are emotionally attached and then they start triggering you by gaslighting you and they hate accountability. Just take it this way he only contacts you when he is bored or needs attention to boast his ego. They hurt your feelings ignore you for a while waiting for you to chase them if you don’t chase they come back and say Good morning my love like nothing happened. Don’t fall for it they are time wasters and users
@@annanicolaou3180 Let him go! Walk away...he is love bombing and he's spending time with other people. Dating is for data - the data on him is a "no" ....hope you haven't had sex w/ him.
Txs so much for ur advice.. usually helps me alot.God bless... Esther from Kenya
It’s funny when they do this and are upset that you don’t notice he pulled away because he’s just an option 😅
Ladies u better flip it and walk away. Pull your energy back.
I am an option to him.and he is a option to me.we dont want nothing serious. We just lovers that's it.
In simple terms…if both of you are showing up talking about the life you have, the similarities, the comfort, the joy… and it’s easy.. and you can talk about anything..remain. Otherwise WALK away.
I don’t fully agree. Some men just aren’t going to fix anything
What if I was married for 20 years to a guy who didn’t correct issues 🤔🤔🤔 turned out he wasn’t serious 😂😂😂
He didn’t value you enough to make things right. Unfortunately. Sometimes you will encounter people who are takers. They gladly take take take and give nothing. As long as HIS needs were met in those 20 years it’s very possible he didn’t care that much at all.
@@xan8185 yup that is what I figured out the hard way. I was young and didn’t know any better when I met him. I hope the young ladies are learning and doing better now.
YOU NAILED IT🎯👏🏽Thank you
What if he propose with no ring a yr ago and he still haven’t gotten the ring??? He claim his finances has been in shambles but still gonna get it HELP
I’m too pretty for this 😂
My husband treated me like an options for 12 years until I left. He found better and it's part of life
How you figure he found better? Who said she’s better?
He didn’t find better tho, he found someone who will tolerate the BS
He always try to find a solution even if it’s not his responsibility to correct
You Look a Little Bit tired but in this Video but still good. Thank you for all your good advice.