Janet Mock on 'Passing' & Redefining Realness
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- Опубликовано: 29 янв 2014
- Janet Mock discusses the concept of passing for trans women, a conditional privilege she explores in her memoir, Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More. This video is part five of a six-part conversation series. View all six videos at janetmock.com/videos/
Learn more about Redefining Realness at redefiningrealness.com and discuss this video using the hashtag #RedefiningRealness
Video directed & edited by Aaron Tredwell of tredwellphoto.com
As a writer, I love this. As a woman, specifically of color, I love this. And as a human, I love this. Janet, you're a force one should try their hardest not to reckon with. Thank you for this.
cmor78704 how are you a follower of God, yet use terrible words to hurt the children he made? Like, you are hurt. I think the person who needs God the most is you.
Janet is performing a kind of femininity that is indeed an action. She puts on makeup, styles her hair, and dresses in an way that is indeed beautiful. But she chooses how to present herself to the world by clothing, makeup & hairstyle. She performs a version of femininity that is on the femme extreme of gender.
She's right to be proud of the beautiful woman she is. But she shouldn't pretend she hasn't made conscious choices, and some small effort, to be that way.
She's the most regal person I've ever seen and incredibly well spoken
She's a personal hero
I'm a cisgendered female and many of my co-workers tell me I don't pass as lady enough because I don't wear make-up and wear dresses or high heels. I know it's not as stigmatizing as what you experienced, but I just wanna share it.
Yeah, me too. I have a deep voice as well so I barely count as female.
Okay but why do you have to mention it then? Go talk about that somewhere else because when you comment on a thread about trans issues about your own experiences of being discriminated against as a cis woman all you're doing is making this conversation about yourself. Learn to listen instead of interjecting.
Apsi Witana she is expressing a challenge that she feels she has in common with trans people, and I believe that it is incredible that cis women and trans women have the capacity to relate!
Thank you for sharing that experience button nose :)
Button Nose Its similar
This is exactly how I feel about the term "passing" as well. Well said!
Spot on!!! The need to "pass" has always vexed me. Passing vs. Being. That helps me so much!
Perfect. This is exactly the problem I have always had with the term "passing". It's like "Wow, you really had me fooled for a moment! I thought you were actually a man/woman!". I know people don't tend to mean anything bad by it... I think they actually see it as giving a compliment. But all it does is reinforce the 'otherness' of people who identify as a different gender than they were assigned at birth. Well said, Janet, you are awesome.
Thank you for sharing, Janet. When somebody "cannot pass" or "stops passing," I simply try to appreciate that I've gained knowledge about the person's experience and nothing more. As far as I'm concerned, whether or not someone "passes" shouldn't impact the authenticity of her/his identity or humanity.
I love Janet Mock for keeping it real... -H
It is so refreshing to see someone with this much strength and eloquence, oh and incredibly beautiful.
Well fuckin' said.
We are all "passing" through this thing called life. We should only have to pass as human 1st, and that should be all that counts.
You are so well spoken and articulate a very important point. You are beautiful. Thank you!
This is like saying "clean" as an STI status. "passing" has always bothered me as a term.
Janet,
I really agree with what you declare about "passing" ...
That's right You are such a brilliant woman ...
Perfectly said!
Though I do wonder, does it mean that those who arent as easily 'read' as 'women' have a similar understanding of passing. One must admit that there is a certain level of privilege and a sort of hierarchical understanding of those who 'pass' versus those who are visibly trans and NOT by choice. For me, it is reminiscent of my views on being on the Down Low pre-transition. I often resented the idea of not living my truth and living authentically and was often had to deal with the societal burdens not only from those who were not like me but from my own peers. Similarly, when i began to live full-time as the woman I am now other trans women felt that I was not on their level. I think we place too much stock in this societal construct of womanhood. It, like any other idealism or construct, isnt true for everyone. I personally have become very comfortable with my duality, though it is hard to remain strong in it. I am comfortable with my being something other than simply a woman, but a trans woman. I was assumed male at birth based solely on my body, but I have become a woman and while my experiences are very very similar to cis gender females and perhaps even more similar to non-visibly trans women, as a visible trans woman it is a nearly constant battle to find acceptance and respect. I suppose in the limited vocabulary and understanding that most of society has regarding sexuality, gender, and gender presentation this is failry close to what we should be understanding. As dopey as it may sound, I long for the day when our gender doesnt matter... where we are recognized not by the color of our skin, the length of our hair, shade of our lipstick, bra size, or body hair, but as human beings with an infinite array of personalities and an even more varied expressions of gender. I know politically we have to be considered women... but is it radical to want to dismantle and put away the idea of this gender binary?
I love and appreciate you Janet. Congrats on all the wonderful things happening in your life. . With regards to "passing". I to have this complicated relationship with the concept and word. While I have grown to a place where I pass, and my gender is never questioned (now), I see the word as just another tool (by the world and within the community) to oppress and separate . Like you're not doing a good job of being you if we can tell or in order for the word to feel comfortable you must fool the masses... Which is the wrong message to send at this point in our work for equality. For years I was in a deep depression and extremely frustrated trying to find that "thing" that makes one pass or real... Because the world was basically saying that being identified as trans was a bad thing. As I started to grow and release all of the internalized shame and hatred - which was blocking me, I started to reconnect with my natural spirit and energy , which is female. When I stopped caring about passing and paid closer attention to how I wanted to present to the world, I began to pass. I had to release concern and fear of being clocked , which in turn helped me to to fully embrace and express all that I am.
Well said. No one has to wear a scarlet letter telling the world she's different. She can be herself. Janet is a beautiful woman. That's all I can see, unless she says othrrwise.
Wow, you are amazing! You have a way of explaining things in such a simple way, it really makes me question my previous beliefs of transgendered people. Thank you, you are truly an inspiration!
She's gorgeous!
This video on "passing" is my favorite. It shares perspective and speaks truth. You are simply 'being', and it is not about deceit or trickery. Thank you for sharing pieces of yourself, my sister. My friend.
I love this video so much. It made me aware of the distinction I heard someone say earlier this week. Instead of saying "passing" he said "passing as cisgendered." Not implying that he was attempting to pass as cis, but just stating that that's how the general public sees him and assumes him to be. A mouthful, but when the concept of passing must be expressed it's definitely a more precise way of expressing the concept.
I met her in person and she's a sweetheart and i agree with everything she said :)
Very eloquent, *****. Thank you :)
In this you made a statement beginning with "when I tell people I am transgender..." My question is this: do you find you need to tell people you are transgender in daily life?
As a cis female I never feel I have to explain that I am female in daily life and I do not see why you should be pressed into disclosure either. It makes sense when you are discussing transgender topics of course and even then your disclosure should be of your own volition.
I believe that everybody has the basic human right to discover and be the identity that feels correct for them. Nobody else should be interfering with this choice.
A lot of cis females do experience uncomfortable accusations that they are not feminine enough, and cis males get attacked with opinions that they are not masculine enough. Trans individuals get evaluated about how "well" they have managed to "pass" as their identity. I think it is outrageous that people behave so badly to treat another with such disrespect and question the identity of any individual.
Janet, you nailed it.
I thought you were speaking about race. When I heard you say Trans, I had to rewind and replay. Either way, you're beautiful. Now I have to go watch parts 1-4...
She's so beautiful, in- and outside
wonderful!
LET ME MARRY YOU! hahaha. Joking. Is just that I can't handle how amazing you are.
The words I use if I ever have to are around "consistency" or coherence, harmony, being inherently consistent: Be who you are, and be recognized as such. "passing" sounds like cheating. consistency means the pieces of the puzzle fit together.
On some FFS kind of mini-conference I attended back in the days I met a woman who was (and is) very coherently female. She was no glossy magazine type woman, she was a strong, down to earth self-conscious woman. Had I not met her there, I'd never considered her anything but the woman she is. And she was considering FFS?!?!? That was my "duh!" moment, saved me quite some bucks :D
I find it interesting that so many terms in the LGBTQ community are lifted from the Black experience. Passing used to be a term used for a very light-skinned black person who could "pass" as white. Therefore having access to the rights and privileges denied to their darker skinned relatives. It sort of makes me wonder how the differing factors of gender and race are intertwined in this country.
A lot of lgbtq terms are actually credited to black gay men and black trans women
Yes Ma'am! A short vid but well said.........direct and correct!
So Good!
Awesome
TELL EM LIKE IT IS SISTER!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ you!
I lived in Waipahu Hawaii, and she is a effing LEGEND!!!! You inspire me to no end ♥
Janet does indeed have the 'privilege' of 'passing,' but coming of age as a gay man in NYC in the '80s and essentially being raised by transwomen, I've never encountered among my transwomen or cis friends that use of the word 'passing' implies or insinuates 'deceiving.' To 'pass' and to have 'realness' were terms used to reflect the conditional privilege of going about daily life with less anxiety and fear of verbal and physical violence or death. And while I don't read minds, my intuition has served me fairly well over the course of 50+ years, and I repeat that cisgender men and women have never left me, or my friends, with the impression that their use of 'passable' or similar words had a hidden or underlying meaning -- that is, of deception. Within my circle, deception typically meant nondisclosure of one's transwomanhood when a romantic relationship or similar interest is at hand -- and of course, who can determine the right time to do so, or how to do so? In short, I've never known a transwoman whose intention was to deceive anyone... revelations of a deeply personal nature, of any sort, are challenging to say the least. Ms. Mock, I admire you greatly, and while I understand the inherent power (and abuse) of words, along with the need to revise language, I must confess that there have been times while watching your interviews or reading your articles I have felt that you are overly rigid in your perceptions and yes, at times, assumptions.
She speaks toward an ideal with which I totally agree, but let's have a reality check here. She's gorgeous and quite feminine, which is a rather high bar for those of us who may be neither. I would not go so far as to say that it's easy for her to claim that space (because it's NEVER "easy" for any trans* person), but she is also quite obviously speaking for herself and not the community at large.
So, yeah, she's real in every way, but neither is it anyone's right--including me--to make that call. The problem lies in educating the rest of society of that truth. As we all know, there are some rather difficult barriers in place preventing that.
Which is not to say that I have no confidence in the ideal, but it's a good thing she's an ideal spokeswoman for the task.
your book should be course material in every college. thank you for all your work. love from london.
does anyone see the sociological ramifications of what Miss Mock is saying? any sociology majors in the house? I think this would make for stimulating discussion.
I'm cis, but really tomboyish, and that can get annoying sometimes, when you have to justify how you dress, or how you get your hair cut.
So I just can't imagine what it must feel like to be stigmatized for being trans, and more importantly I don't understand why this whole "you'renotarealwoman" shit exists. I mean, why can't people just accept everyone ? It's not hard to be open-minded, really.
Testing whether comments are being moderated or not ..
Just want to say you seem beautiful inside and out !
It's so sad that I'm part of the LGBT community yet still know so little about transgender people. Being cisgender,I am guilty of thinking,"Wow,I can barely tell."This video has definitely made me see the error of my ways,and I'd like to thank you. Please forgive me for my past thoughts.I promise to use this information to ensure that I treat men and women the way they deserve to be treated.Thanks again.:)
So true its a blessing and a curse!
so beautiful in and out
I know I don't pass I love it
To pass or transition simply illustrates the journey. I get it that some people do not want to be reminded of the past, I know I don't but using the words passing or transitioning to identify the journey is not necessarily a bad thing. Will people be curious? Of course they will but that's not necessarily a bad thing either. Curiosity is how people learn.
I also get that it must get tiring to answer the same questions over and over again which is why some people just want to look like the gender they identify as and get on with their lives but to me I see it as a point of pride. I spent my whole life hidden behind the wrong gender (I was in the closet if you will) Now that I get to live authentically It would be crazy for me to hide behind another gender label and not shout to to the world the wonderful journey that my life is *TRANS*.
Love u Janet!!! Such a wise beautiful women
Sorry to gawk but you are FUCKING gorgeous!
am I the only person that thinks she looks like Halle Berry
I thought that as well c:
Why do you have to disclose? You are a woman, no discussion needed.
OMG, you're soooooooooooooo beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is, to put it indelicately, a bitch, and one heck of a cross to bear. And frankly it wears you down to the point where it diminishes you as a person on so many levels, and does damage to your self-esteem that never really gets any better.
Hope for a better day, and work toward it. That's what keeps me going, frankly.
Amour
Wow, I'm just curious about how she looked as a guy. Because as a guy, I wouldn't know if not for the title.
Idiot me always pronounce cis with a long I