How to Shutdown a Narcissist Using STRICT Strategy
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- Опубликовано: 29 июн 2024
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Chapters
00:00 Intro
01:30 S - Setting unshakable, unbreakable and extreme boundaries
04:08 T - Temper your Emotions
05:54 R - Recognise the tactics
07:37 I - Ignore attention seeking behaviour
09:43 C - Challenge their Narrative
11:39 T - Take absolute control of your life
To everyone going through this abuse, hang in there. I'm in the thick of it right now.
me too 😢 it's the other way around they ignore me they think they r in the majority ( GC sis and narc mom) non existent enabler sperm donor
Susan your in my prayers. You hang in there as well. I'm surrounded by these weirdos daily. I'm not a prick and can't exactly ignore all of them because I work with them. But the ones that I don't have to be around,I ignore and cut them off. I refuse to tolerate abuse of any kind.
I'm stuck I work for an agency that takes care of people in this one client she's an old narc she's over half of my paycheck and I get abused on a 12-hour shift all the freaking time she doesn't let me take my lunch or breaks I'm jamming the food in as she's directing orders at me constantly she's mean evil and vicious and I'm stuck
They will never change after 10 years I'm.saying this. They don't ever change , no matter how many boundaries u set or chances u give or how forgiving u r .
Omg ! Feigning a heart attack..... yes ...something similar... was done . These people give Oscar winning performances.n the best liars n manipulators u will ever meet .
Dealing with a narcissist really gives our brains a workout.
🏋🏾♀️
Which eventually will burn out, because they are such draining people.
This is really most practical.. 👌since many of us cannot go “ no contact “.. 😮staying in the situation allows us to do an inward journey and tap our inner resources, making us stronger every day. A narcissist is an equal and opposite part of our own personality- so all we need to do is do exactly the opposite of what they want us to do - Ofcourse, it is not that easy, to peel the onion , it’s bound to bring tears 😢, but this is the real beauty of how we can set ourselves free .
@@jagrutidurani7395 Love this reply. That evil man helped make me the best version of myself...the irony.
@@jagrutidurani7395 Not always …. ‘Prevention IS better than cure’. Some of them are dangerous and truly lethal …. !
@@ashl8804 I agree with you about that 💯
Do not defend or explain yourself to any narcs. You do not owe anything to narcs and learn to control your emotions
Thanks
Absolutely . Don’t surrender your control ; if you do,,, Stop right now !!!
A good 12 Gauge shotgun works for me
@@chrismc410they're not worth going to jail over shooting them.Theyre not even worth talking to just look right thru them like they are useless,worthless ghosts.👻
@@Vicky-jh3ci they can be dangerous though
They hate the word, "no"
Correct
Because NO resonates as rejection...which is intolerable to them
Saying, “Absolutely not!” stuns them. Lol
My husband is a Mr YES, he'll hardly says No
These ppl are actually possessed by demons. Wolf in sheep's clothing, angry men. The devil comes to kill steal and destroy. These words describes them perfectly. Pray for strength to overcome them.
FACTS!!! Say it one more time for the people in the back!!!!
You are so right thus is what I think to my husband that's why even how he abuse me I run away and I forgive him inside my heart and I dont judge him for what he did to me worse and worse because I know he doesn't know what his doing.. I know why he become a narcissists because it's God punishment for the person who reject God h8s savior and who disrespect God law.. I understand why my husband he all abuse all the person love him because the devil did it to him ..now I hide in far place but I pray him night and to God that I hope God will not harden his heart anymore God will save him
What I learn is we don't need to hate the narcissists instead we pray them because they are possess by the demon.but I need to leave him and no contact because that the best way ..my son is with my husband 7 yrs old thats make me feel more hard but I'm thankful I have faith in God
There are no supernatural entities
Thank you very much Danish❤
Mom@@jandreith2621
1) Set boundaries ( extreme), dig in the line. Dig in my space, no trespassing and no loops at all.
2) Set consequences, (no excess/ block all the access, clear boundaries) Be done! Make them feel the consequences. (Cut throat/ blatened)
3) Temper your emotions ( you can't fight a narcissist, if you are reactive/ your emotions are unmanageable) if you are angry and they will enter you to the battle field.They will intentionally trigger you in a way that you will react, you got to work on healing your wounds. Strategically repond.
4) Recognize the tactics, weaponize against them. The ways they attack you is crucial.
5) Ignore them for attention seeking behavior. Don't justify yourself when they create a pool. Process your.
6) challenge their narrative. Pointing out facts when others are involved otherwise it will go against it.
7) Strict: Take strict control of your life. Terrified of your presence, take control on your body language. Work enough to look confidence and just slay them. Work on your communication style.
Don't explain don't defend, pretend the sane one!
I am dealing with a narc mother in law and we are implementing all of these.
At such point, the same ones the same one or the violation of privacytjatgabe me this SUPERPOWER HAS TO RESPOND! FACE DE CONSEQUENCES TOO OF ANY SICKNESS AND OTHERS CRIMES!
Awesome 🙏🏻 neatly given
This episode has taught me to love and respect myself.
You are the only one who can and will.
Stay blessed dear ❤❤
Very true
Always did. At certain point, before you/them arrived to teach me anything. They should be taught instead and caught as well IN GIANT LEVELS. THATS MY WORK! IF THEY DINT RESPOND IS MORE EVIDENT! FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!
Simplified...
Just as plants need water, narcs need drama.
Keep things dry and dull and uneventful and merely be formal, and they will wither away.
I tried setting firm boundaries with my very toxic elderly mother and of course she trampled right over them so I did have to cut her off completely and totally. I cut off entire family. I will not accept her calls. She leaves me pitiful messages using the pity play but I will not cave or fall for it. It's FINISHED!
We did this with my eldest brother as well.
Susan yes they always overstep your boundaries and that's why I cut all of them off as well. Narcs don't get no,I'm not tolerating your abuse and I refuse to argue with any of them.
I had to go to court with mine, it's not over yet. Probably when she's dead. 😩
Push her down some steps
Good for you♡♡♡♡♡
You can change your phone # and make it unlisted( it costs extra..but the peace is so worth it,)and you can then get her out if your head, as you won't be having to hear that voice all the time anymore♡
DANISH BASHIR!!!!! OMG..YOU HAVE BEEN THE ONLY ONE EVER TO EVER MAKES SENSE OF THIS TOPIC AND GIVE A PERSON CONCRETE STEPS TO FOLLOW TO TAKE CONTROL AND TURN THE TABLES OF POWER TOWARDS SELF...THIS VIDEO EMPOWERS PEOPLE TO FACE TODAY WITH A NEW SENSE OF WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT FROM OTHERS..THERE IS FINALLY A LIGHT AT THE END OF SUCH A DARK JOURNEY.. THERE IS FINALLY A WAY TO BREAK FREE...THANK YOU FOREVER!
Awesome you have given valuebel information.
Same here!! ❤
@@asmathsabira8644Very well said dear.
I have been abused by a narcissist for 42 years and I could never be indifferent to his actions, words, acting.... He is so so mean. Finally I left him - I don't want to see him or meet him ever again. I don't have the strength for that because now I only see him as an abuser, manipulator, a person who gaslightes me, tortures, belittles, insults me. The only solution is to leave the narcissist, nothing else!!!
If i control myself and not react to a narcissist means they are treating like a door mat directly in front of me.
My mother did this with her sister. She cut her off from her life for 10 years. Yes it worked beautifully in that scenario.
@Jack T it was in the 80’s before social media. Mum died and they had together.
How many times have I said to my covert narc when he is sulking and pitying himself when I called him for something he did " You are Not the victim. III am the victim.
Light bulb moment..I will NEVER identify my self as a victim again!!! I am a victor and will get my self-respect and strength back! Healing words. Thank you Danish
I've always operated with the facts and what I'm able to prove, not heresay, gossip or embellished lies and never identified as a victim nor a coward either. I'm not afraid to expose what needs exposing, but encountered that there are also a lot of them out there who are just like them and fear exposure, so you are basically fighting alone while enduring this kind of abuse. I knew at every moment what he was doing while he was also always telling on himself. The imp knew he was being audio and video recorded and when no contact was put into place, he was sending emails to harass and provoke reactions out of me and even said on video he didn't care what I have. He also continued violating my boundaries for which many where a federal crime and the only time law enforcement was called, but he played the victim and declared I was 911ing him whenever I couldn't get my way?
Iam a Warrior Woman❤
Always have someone with you they don’t want any witnesses 😊
“It’s not my circus” lol that was awesome. ❤
Exactly! I don't associate with clowns xDD
❤😂🎉
In my country Jamaica 🇯🇲 we say "not my monkey, not my circus" so this point will definitely stick with me
😂 I know I love how he is so spot on. And he makes me laugh in all of this narcissistic crazy mess. I am so lucky I can go no-contact with some of my family members ❤
How many times I thought of taking my own life. My husband doesn't even speak to me anymore...6 months at a time. He also abused me fiscally ...I feel like living in a bubble. I decided to see a lawyer this week. Please pray for me
Be strong sister and remember the teachings Danish has taught. Be strong and fight for your life.🙏🙏🙏❤️❣️
Yes you need to document everything, and use facts to slay them. You are the first to say this!
This is so important. Going through property division with my covert narcissistic ex and he tried to shave two years off our relationship, as he thought it meant he wouldn’t need to divide some things with me- ignoring that I paid for most of them…unreal. So hurtful and so absurd as there were two years of social media posts, text messages, videos, gifts, flights, etc. that I had record of demonstrating we were still together. He had moved on to a new supply, as I have since found out, but I was still his wife in heart, actions, and mind until his mask fully fell off. Blows my mind how their brain works :(. Keep clear records, receipts, cards, text messages, etc. It is a life and sanity saver.
@@FuneraryGirl I hope it will be over soon for you. I even had to document what he said, and what the flying monkeys said, to the minute, to the second, because in their brains somehow time just disappears as they please. Stay strong and clear-headed.
I did and nobody cared or ever once asked me to see or listen to one single thing that I have.
@@EvelynneK1812 I have this too along with the flying monkey's and nobody cared.
AMEN
I have been abused by a narcissist for 42 years and I could never be indifferent to his actions, words, bs.... He is so so mean. Finally I left him - I don't want to see him or meet him ever again. I don't have the strength for that because now I only see him as an abuser, manipulator, a person who gaslighted me, tortured, belittled, insulted me. The only solution is to leave the narcissist, nothing else!!!
Yes , very mean. U get to a point u do not want to be around them.
True
You did the right thing. Good for you🎉
Wish I could have the same luck soon! 🙏
i am still stuck cos i am not economically independant.
@@manelweerakoon8245 Can you not try to achieve some financial independence? Work as if your life depends on it. Actually it does! 🙁
Absolutely spot on. I have been able to effectively challenge and handle narc bosses and supervisors at my workplace. 4 years strong.
Documenting everything by email paper trail has been very powerful.
As showing you have no fear causes narcissistic mortification (it reflects to them that they are weak and powerless)
My faith in Christ has the highest authority helped with that tremendously.
Amen! 🙏🏽❤️
🙌🙌🙌yeah!!
Yes a narc wants your emotion not you.
My dad was a narc and used to beat my mom-he never ever raised his hand to me-till one day gran caused friction-and my dad slapt me-and I a 16 year old didnt know where it came from-i gave him 2 slaps back-poor daddy couldnt deal with the shame-after that he never touched me or mother again.:-D
Good
That's also what I did
I have a dream narcissist will make you suffer but it make you strong the best version of yourself
Awareness is power . Ignore , do not get impacted, by their drama .
Every day now, 5 years out from 32 year marriage, my first thought is thank you God for setting me free (from the Narc circus and monkeys).
Definately dont be a doormat or try be the peacemaker, call them out. Unfortunately the narcissist rarely gets called a 'narcissist' to their face, and it rattles their game when you do it.
Few years ago, I applied all these boundaries to someone, when I don't even know about the narcissists word.
Instinct♡
Same here and make them insignificant and as like vapor as though they didn't exist.
Going no contact with narcissist was necessary for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. 💜 Narcissistic Abuse Survivor 💜
Yes, me too and it was just crazy
Same here 💜💯
This episode was so informative for me married 40 years to a narcissist. Our lives are so blended leaving doesn’t seem to be an option, but healing and standing in my God given truth is possible. Awareness is power🙏🏾🙏🏾Thank you
So true even I m also in d same situation
Even I am in the same situation but still going through the pain. Even my kids are going through. To be honest don't have the mental strength too. Have many health issues, depression, anxiety, other health issues. Can't leave him after 26 years of marriage.
I have left after 47 years of marriage.I have tried am 69 years and I am done.
I understand. 23 years and I love who I used to be with before she hit her head and this started. But I love what this video says about when to start presenting the fact machine: only when it has a positive outcome. I was initially told to be open and honest in relationship. Not with a narc. I now know better and can step back and ask myself if there’s going to be that result first. (It’s not
Perfect. You can’t predict what a narc will do).
All going trough this abuse, even if its very difficult, ask the Lord to help you. And be ready for change. God bless all.
Thank you...that hit home "And be ready for change."
Wishing you all well ❤
BULLSHIT, THERE IS NO GOD,
FACE REALITY
48 years married to narcissist. Now he has dementia so it’s a double jeopardy for me emotionally. I’m grateful for techniques on how to protect my emotional well being. I’m 75 and the years ahead dealing with my boogeyman is dreadful. Even if there is no physical abuse warn your audience that on going emotional abuse will not only break down your body but also destroy your spirit to go the distance.
Danish after decades of suffering I went no contact forever with those satanic beings that tortured me all my life. I feel I’m finally sitting on a cloudy total peace and happiness at last
Wish I knew this when I was younger with my mom . She wore me down and hurt me for years until she died . Didn’t know what I didn’t know .
Perfect recognize what they use and use it against them. So they demand you do something they can do; let them do it. Observe don't absorb.
I'm a grandma with a narcissist daughter. My granddaughter was living with me for 8 months because her parents were unable to care for her properly. One day, my daughter got mad at me and abruptly removed my granddaughter from my care. It's on now.
I'm a single parent now,to be precise it's night 2:40 here ,just now finished my work, morning have to wake up at 7 and prepare my son for his schedule, ps, my narc wife have acquired control of my landlord and I have to vacate my home in one month 👍🏾
yes it’s so hard to keep emotions in check because they know exactly what to do to hurt you the most!!!
Especially difficult for me as an Empath.
@@kristykanen9315 No one gives a shit if you are a empath and every normal human has empathy
I'm at 0:44 seconds and already started crying... To even think people takes these seriously makes me emotional because I didn't even know people would care enough to even listen ..or think it's important
You are important ❤
❤❤❤
It feels like you know the story of every single person who's dealing with a narcissist, deeply explained everything 👏👏👏👏👏
Every single thing goes wrong in narc life, they will blame you. So they're never wrong.
The more calm and non reactive I am the more violent he gets
My Narc stole my journal so I have no proof. He's gone now after he read it
I feel alive & happy didn't believe it possible
🤨 are u for real its like he read himself in the mirror I am sure .Stay safe
I went no contact with all of my toxic family members. For that I am receiving extreme backlash via a smear campaign from the flying monkeys. That is because flying monkeys are also obsessed with control, and they also get extremely incensed when things don’t go their way just like the narcissist.
Boy is that the truth! If the narc slows down they pick it back up.
I am stuck in narc Father, Son and his wife. I started watching your videos after narc abuse in my relationship for 18 months but i didn't heal after 6 years.. And i got to know My Family is the one major issue
No contact my freedom to calm me ❤
Narcissists try to bring a false spotlight onto you, showing you from bad angles and lies. The good counter to this is to bring a true spotlight onto them, say very small sentences underlining how fake and weak they are, making the difference between true spotlight and false spotlight so visible to the eyes of others that it intimidates the narcissist and forces him to retreat. This strategy works without arguing (arguing would bring room to narcissist for lies and explanations), just shouting facts and descriptions without trying to justify anything not waiting for him to argue on them
Restraining order, controlled communication, court orders, notices, warnings - they are sick!
Narcstc parents affect all children but in dufferent way and make all completely different
I like your delivery of information regarding this serious, painful topic. It's clear, concise, direct, and caring. Thanks
I walked away from it and I've never been happier. I didn't say it was easy but it's worth it. No one can love you better than you, once you have love for yourself , you then have a reference to compare their love to yours. Walk away i promise you, you will wish you had sooner. The mistreatment was the closure they were full aware at the time they were hurting you. Remember that when you ignore them. Even if you have family problems or need $5 in an emergency. Don't call. Block them asap! Don't feel guilty. Love and bravery.i wasn't even aware that my dad and every single ex were narcissistic till now. There was nothing wrong with me.
You are a great blessing for us as victims. You opened our eyes widely. ❤
I am going to leave them forever. Enough is enough. You're right.
My parents aren't people, they are beasts. Ruined me internally, externally, mentally, physically, emotionally..... I will cut all threats..... I am done... Thank you.
Danish, you are helping heal the world … one narcissistically injured person at a time.
Danish, your advice here is deeply essential and life-saving for victims of narcissistic abuse, especially for those in the midst of divorce. Not sure if ur aware, but a popular political-comedic vlogger/podcaster in the US and Canada, Steven Crowder, is currently the hot topic in conservative social media as he is in the midst of divorce proceedings. Just recently, a 3-minute video clip from his home security camera from 2021 revealed Crowder (mask falling) verbally abusing his 8-month pregnant (with twins) wife, stating that he needed to use their one car for an errand, while she had to do the week's grocery shopping on her own via Uber. Of course this is small evidence; however, because of his celebrity status, it's being considered that her lawyer released the clip with her permission to expose Steven's pattern of narc abuse to his fans and family to diminish his own lying defense and avert the flying monkeys. Indeed, his wife would certainly value ur advice and counsel, as your words here are so healing to those who have no idea how to manage nor move forward from this kind of abuse. This "STRICT" strategy is the perfect tool! Many thanks to you, Danish: ur hard work is helping and offering practical solutions to tens of thousands!! ❤😊
I'd considered a camera quite some time ago but never did it. I wish I had but wasn't sure if it was legally something that could be used to prove the abuse?
I've been wanting to hide cameras throughout our house so I can have evidence. Recently, he slandered me so bad to many of our friends. I was so hurt that they believe him. I think I can sue him for defaming my character. He told me he did it because, I threatened to sue him for taking all the profits from our business and controls all the money. I'm 50% owner/partner. He obviously thinks he's above the law. I told him what he's doing in called embezzlement. So he went on a smearing campaign.
My brain feels heavy n exhausted. Can’t go no contact due to the family pressure.
It is ok! Just please go to therapy, so you can heal. Detach emotionally and psychologically for real. I can not describe in words how this is life changing! I know because I have been through this. Although still married, I am free!!!!!
Let your yes be YES, and your no be NOI!!! Stand strong dear ones 🙏
If you want to know your weakest points in your identity to work them out, narcissist is the best support to show you where they are and to encourage you to become free from these points. Paradox
❤😂actually, yes .. at a safe distance, which may change !
every word in this video is so true, these people dont do anything by themselves , dont support no help, just keeps on questioning on whatever things you do , whatever decisions you take , the only objective of narcisist people is to take away your mental piece and they get a kind of momentiarly pleasure in this . once this pleasure subsides they make another point an issue .
The only way to not get trapped in their gameplan is to stay away from them both physically , mentally and emotionally
I used the "C" especially recently when confronting my mother with her constant life lies. I am already living no contact for many years and now she's an elderly widow but clinging to her fake reality still. There's this silence now, eventually. 👍👍
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s. I also grew up with a narcissistic parent. The two points made for a volatile mix. I went no contact years ago, best decision I ever made for myself and my children. But, there are still family get togethers and such. Hearing you explain how thoroughly one needs to regulate their emotions around a narcissist hit me hard since ADHD sometimes involves an inability to regulate my emotions. I have had YEARS to navigate this "relationship," and am proud of the work I have done, but wanted to point out how difficult emotion regulation can be for some people. Sometimes, it is downright impossible. Personal therapy, meditation, and/or medication adressing neurodivergence the abused my be suffering from are the only things that can give victims a fighting chance many times. I hope that anyone in this difficult situation can love themselves enough to put themselves and their mental health in the top priority spot. ❤
You are an Adhd person,because of that parent, It was hard to admit to myself ,I probably was a big factor contributing to my daughters Adhd read The Scattered Brain,Gabor Mate ,very insightful book on ADHD,and why,both my daughter and myself read that book together..
I am being diagnosed with adhd.. probably there's a link with dealing with a narcissist...
My now deceased husband's ex, who used her children against him, is now using them against me. Same strategies that she used against him. Identical methods and words. She actively prevented him from seeing the children, made his life absolute hell, and now blames me for the children not seeing their father! But I see this as just a projection and a cover for the sheer insane campaign that she ran against him to break his bond with them and stop him from seeing them.
Tell psycho Mom that you have no ties with her and she should stop contacting you or there a court order coming to make her stop.
I love my parents so very much, from afar. Its been over a decade ....oh gosh maybe even 2 decades now. I try to honor the decision of no contact better now by having no more narcissistic partners. Life is better.
I’m not sure if there is any more difficult life situations than having to be a coparent with a borderline personality (cluster B, bi-polar, narcissistic, sociopathic, psychotic etc) Maybe having to have grown up with them as an actual parent perhaps. However, in my experience coparenting whilst in the midst of a divorce and trying to split custody and assets etc is so very difficult and videos like yours have been a blessing. Thank you for your work good sir 🙏
yeah I can imagine, I was supposed to take care of a dog for one week with a girl that I'm pretty sure has a wrong diagnosis, the dog was partly hers but she can't take care of the dog, she needed my help while her mother took a week of and it was hell, the dog was so sweet but the mother gave to much power to her daughter and I don't understand that since hmm they needed my help so I had to work around both the mother and daughter, I feelt the daughter used the dog against me like she was going to hurt him if I did not do what she wanted. I knew what I was dealing with from experience so I try to keep a low profile to protect the dog. I don't understand they did not even want the dog to be alloweed outside. Well not on my watch, dogs are not prisoners. Dealing with that nonsence for a week I noticed getting wrinkles, sadly I can't help the dog much more it's their dog but I did my best to hopefully improve his life. Very sweet dog but I never meet him again because after my week was finnished the dog returned to the mother and I brooke contact after I did the best I could do to protect the dog. I hope you will manage and the stress won't take over your life.
Going through so many problems with this exact problem. Unfourtuatly, the narcassist is a her, my husbands ex-wife and man have we been through it. It never ever ends. I just try and stay grounded for my step kids. They don't need any more stress . They have been through so much. She goes to them with all of her "problems", crying hysterically when she can't break a boundary set by my husband...basically she makes them feel responsible for her emotional state. No one ever wants to " upset Mom".
The craziest part is , well, if I start I could go on forever.
Ok, one heart wrenching example. She knows my son died when he was a baby. My only child and she is well aware but she's constantly leaving messages telling us that she doesn't want them referring to me as their stepmother because all i am is a wife because I don't have kids and wouldn't know the first thing about being a mom since "her kid died" It takes a real screwed woman to hit that far below the belt.
And we have never instructed the kids to refer to me in any way. However they are comfortable based on how they feel. They refer to me as their stepmom, we have never directed them in any way
I didn't just marry him, I made a commitment to them as well. He would have never married a woman only willing to be a wife when he's more than my husband. He's a wonderful Dad. I love those children but she finds no comfort in knowing i would do absolutely ANYTHING for them. And I would never try to take her place or even say anything negative about her to or around them. Unfortunately, she doesn't give me an ounce of respect.
In case your wondering., I am absolutely not the " other woman " My husband and I didn't even start hanging out even as friends until they were legally separated and they didn't know about me until after the divorce was final
What actually happened is when my husband Was deployed in Afghanistan for 12 years, and after he finally came home for good. She discarded him after telling him that she'd been having an affair for a very long time. And was madly in love with someone, that she had spent every bit of their savings. And he had absolutely no money to even get an apartment. I mean he was left flat flat broke. Then then he has an accountant good for their finances to discover that she was financially abusive and the most irresponsible person on the face of the Earth. To the point that she was actually getting evicted from places with the kids telling charlie she was moving for different reasons mostly because men were hitting on her, But the truth is is that she was actually paying for apartment for her boyfriend and gave him. Charlie's car so charlie didn't even have a car when he came home and the kids's school was all behind and they had to transfer into Public schools after growing up with their friends in one private school their entire lives until they got into middle school high school. Oh angie spent all the money out of all College funds. Charlie only ever came home once a year because he was told that they couldn't afford it but she was taking trips with her boyfriend too couples Retreats leaving the oldest in charge while she was gone out of town and by the way she never worked A-day in her life every bit of made by. Charlie so she could be a stay-at-home mom and they could have a good life but come to find out all of that sacrifice being a private Contractor went down the drain for a selfish partying lifestyl for her and her boyfriend . Yes and I forgot to mention. He signed a power of attorney for her while he was gone so she could take care of all this all of his taxes and all that stuff Just to find out that she never even filed any of his taxes so no use the IRS over $300000 that they had put a lean. On his check. And i'm barely even touching the surface of the thing she's done so I'll leave it at that.
I hope anyone reading this understands. There's many of us out here going through the most insane things that Even saying them to someone who has never been through narcissistic abuse Would have a hard time even believing you. Cause it literally sounds like no one can actually be this bad. But the truth is they're actually first l o l. You have to survive it to understand it. I know exactly the feelings of Exhaustion, Frustration among many other things that they bring with anything associated with them. Everything and anything this around them is utter chaos and God said he's not the author of chaos. I know this is probably far right for some of you all. Yeah but I have honestly honestly come to believe in my heart that the bible speaks of the wheat and the tears.... Through my own experiences i'm not convinced any longer that everyone on the earth is made by the same creator. Wheats and tares. If you ever find yourself out loud or just in your head asking yourself what kind of person could even do that well maybe? They're not a person not like you and I so that's why we can't answer that question.
@J Brown thank you for the supportive words. It truly can only be understood by our community of survivors!
@@GnosisDharmaSeriously???
You are comparing your experience of looking after a dog for a week with being married, having children with and going through a divorce with a narcissist.
How disrespectful, you need to do some reflection
@@secretivescorpio891 no I don't compare and if you have read my comment you would have realised that. This is just one of my experiences. This is my worst week simply. Even if I was raised in a cult have been 4bu53d by my birthfamily, been bullied and 4bu53d at work. So yes I know the 4bu5iv3 type but not true intimate relationship but through relationships. So no but if that week top all of the other horror I have been through how terrible can it be to have a child in the mix you want to protect I would not like to be an such situation and I experienced wanting to protect a dog for a week if it was that horrible and it was because now it was not only about my own safety which it was earlier. So no I don't compare I rather realise I would not like to play chess about a child for any time at all. You judjing a person you don't know and interpete what they mean should wake you up to your own shortcomings.
Shut them down ! It will feel so good !
My narcissistic mother now 96 has stolen all my money is now financially abusing me
Thank you for the confirmation Danish. I have been waiting for THIS video from someone! Out of exasparation I started doing some of these things ..really standing in his face up to him and the shocked look is priceless! the impact it had on ME was shocking. I am getting my self-respect back! Without even trying, it has caused me to do what you said.. to search the situation and seek the real issue at hand through all the fluff and pagentry, instead of simply reacting off the top of my head without giving the scenario any thought This video will help me to feel assured I am on the right track and fine tune my path. Just the huge way it has given me self respect back is my motivator.
Thank you Danish. Your insight into narcissism is astounding! I hope you make lots more video's like this one that enourages us to not be afraid to be more powerful.
Exceptionally good one, Danish.✊🤛👍
This is absolutely good advice!!!!! I have been doing this in recent months and for the most part, it works. The problem comes when they "love bomb" because I am empathetic and am tempted to be fooled into believing they have changed, only to find out they have not when the rudeness returns within a few months.
I cant understand why they live for chaos and corruption.
All i ever wanted was a peaceful life but they try to ruin it, all the time.
My mother and sister are both narcissists.
I only realized this over the past 2 yrs.
Ive quit any contact with my sister due to her irrational rage, which is terrifying and her controlling behavior.
But Mum becomes overtly narcissistic after drinking and is completely unable to control her rage....and verbal abuse....its like someone takes over her body.
Thank god i live alone.
My compliments to your videos, your sincerity, honesty, speaking directly to us via the camera, and simply expert advice, please know it's greatly appreciated.
love your name....love the song! Neil Diamond?
@@Linda-pd8en yes!! Nice catch my friend! Xo
@@iAmiSaid yeah so now I can't get it out of my head! lol great memories though, thanx
@@Linda-pd8en The song is much deeper than people realize... And watching his RUclips live versions, truly moving. I'm living the story right now. In any event, Neil diamond, love him!
Extremely validating.....Healing
I have a narcissistic mother in law and she has affected our marriage so badly within 9 months of our marriage. She decides everything about her son, my husband. And found myself in very difficult situation to have a firm boundary with her. But after a point I am setting firm boundaries especially when she decides how I should dress, whether I should wear lipstick and all. She tries to decide when I should visit my parents and whether I should attend my friend’s wedding. Those interfering behaviour makes me so frustrated and whenever I try to convey it to my husband we will be in a fight. Now I am trying to have no conversation with her at all even though we live in the same house. Husband is very upset with that.
Danish, thank you so much. ❤
You were an eye opener because there were times when I believed that I am the problem because of their manipulation and gaslight.
I can’t thank you enough for these videos❤
Woman you need a divorce, not only is your mother -in-law a narcissist, she is guilty of emotional incest as well. Tell that freak when you need advice you will go to your own mother to get it. If you are working start looking for an apartment. Get out of that situation before it destroys your personality.
I'm In a similar situation 6yr old marriage with a kid.....I have a strained relationship with my husband due to my MIL....he stays with his mother....I moved out with my 1yr old baby ......it's like my husband is on a spell and I can't do anything about it now .....I am helpless....she wants her son to do the duties of providing for her.....when her own husband is alive.....she needs a luxious life...she keeps complaining that I don't provide for her.. citing other daughter in laws in her family....with fake stories...
He wants me to go back to his house and take care of his mother.......
I have lost my sanity waiting for him to realize that we are a family....I guess it will never happen
Joint family system doesn’t work plz don’t have kids
He's right.. .in everything he just said.
I really appreciate your help and support, every word you say about how to deal with these serpents is true .
My mother is 80 but she is a narcissist who hates her only child and has abused me.
She does not want me to inherit or live do she has put an FIR on me ,she has defamed me all her life.
I tried my best to prove my self , wanted her recognition but only got pushed to the corner
Very sad. Please take care. Be strong
"When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them" -Plato
Live in integrity. be the best you, you can be.
Living this way will trickle back to the narc through the grapevine and be crushing to their egos. and you have done nothing to them.
Danish 🙏 Thankyou. You really say it how it is. So clear. You’re the boss narcissist slayer!!!
Aen, these others report that these strategies have worked for them. I pray and hope that I can be strong because I want out of this emotional, psychological mess!
Amen Susan. We need to get our power and strength back!
Recovery is oftentimes a "two steps forward, one step back" mechanism. You've got the knowledge and that's more than half the game that they sprung upon you. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up. As is often said, "recovery is a process and not an event."
Luckily, I have the unfortunate pattern of being a magnet for narcissists because my mother is one, and although communication has been cut off for three years, she still manages through my children and family to cut me. Now that I've realized my current, (and past) relationships have been the same, I am able to recognize it. I was so afraid I'd have to move again, and start over like I've done in the past. I'm always forced to be the one to give everything up after working so hard to build it. I don't have to move. I own the house, too! Why is it always assumed that I'll leave everything behind and hand it all over to start the cycle again? Probably because that's what I've always done. I'm so afraid I'll get trashed for asking for what's rightfully mine that I placate them and wind up getting trashed anyway. I'm not giving up my home. I'm not afraid that I have to leave. I'm not going to be afraid of what others think. I'm going to stay. If he doesn't like it, he can move!!! The switch flipped and the light came on; I can see him, and very clearly now.
❤
Thank you for very helpful, clear and realistic advice. These steps are not easy but necessary to take in order to deal with a narcisist successfully.
Thanks a lot Danish Sir...I was almost about to die because of my Narcissists partner but ur guidance have helped me to deal and come out of it..God bless u
Empath here dealing with an entire family of narcs, trying to intimidate us off our property of 25 yrs.
These videos has empowered us greatly & made them very predictable.
HEADS UP:
the more widespread this subject, the more presence I’m seeing of narcs in the comment sections pulling their manipulative 💩
Ignore the sewage!
Wow. This is... Amazing, concise and entirely true! 🙏🏻
I wish i knew these things years ago unfortunately we didn't have access for this information before even i wasn't aware of why he is doing to me i didn't know what he wants from me 😢 thank you
So helpful I always loose my temper and becoming over reactive and loose my point !!
I have done the healing. I have been motivated to do so because of my children.
One of the best tricks I found - can't be used in every situation, but when it can it helps so much - is to tell them "from now on, we will only communicate in writing" (use any incident of verbal violence or retroactively "revising" previous conversations as opportunity to implement it). When they try to speak to you verbally after this, only say: "in writing please". It allows you to get some time to reflect and get your poise before answering AND it means you now have written evidence of everything they tell you (and you can send them screenshots after, when they claim they didn't say what they did!) AND whatever they say from now on, you can prove to others without it turning into a he said/she said thing.
Yes! In my case it caused him to give the silent treatment which worked well for no contact. He would not write anything because he could be held accountable and he knew it.
Every day is a war leaving with narsists.
The email part is soo relatable… the best thing is not to respond their bullshit.. glad i left ✨
When they start with the crazy making it's time to go. Do this every time.
I am at the recognition phase
Could you do a video explaining the difference between the types of narcissists?
Also, the y love to roll their eyes when they are trying to mimic you, AVOID as possible to look at them, thats what they want , to ruin you in any way.
I mirrored the narcissist that was in my life. It triggered him and that's how I got rid of him. He confessed a lot of narcissistic behavior he pulled on other people and I used it against him to make him see what he was doing wrong. I could see that everything he did was like a game he liked playing. I could see right through him and would call him out on his BS. After that, he would shut down by not talking until he feels it's time for him to find a new victim. Instead of becoming his victim, I came out victorious all by mirroring him.
Documenting everything was what saved me, and what freed me
Remember the cashier with cuts in his hands in the beauty supply store! She is not forgotten!!
This is very good information. Was married to a malignant narc for 20 years. Now, I’m dealing with an outrageous narc neighbor. She has several times caused huge rage displays for ridiculous reasons. On the 4th of July, my daughters and grandsons did a few small fireworks behind my townhouse. They were sparklers and a couple 6 ft fountains that popped, but no projectiles. They were back there about 20 minutes, from 8:45 to about 9:15. No danger. This neighbor has no children, no extended family, doesn’t get along with her husband, thinks every one is out to get her. She came over shaking and screaming and banged loudly on the front door. Then swore at my 8 year old grandchildren (using the f bomb). My daughters didn’t mess around with her at all, called her out on the nonsense and handed her her hiney. Now she’s angry and has been belligerent and raging. It’s awful being next door to her. She came to my door w her husband, banging and screaming this past week. An ac repair van parked in their parking space, during a thunderstorm. He was only here about 15 min but her husband came home and totally freaked out. They knew the ac guy was at my house. So he pinned the ac van in with his truck, and wouldn’t move it! The sc guy asked me whose truck it was and I said next door. He went there and both this gal and her husband came out yelling and screaming at him and then came to my door to fight. They banged loudly. I do not and have not engaged with them. I yelled through the door that I was calling the police. They immediately stopped and moved the truck so the ac guy could leave. Just ridiculous stuff. But I remember how things were with my husband. He terrorized the neighborhood we lived in. This info is very good. Since these are neighbors, not family, taking control of the situation, not allowing them to upset you and hitting them between the eyes with a 2 x 4 is the best and only way to handle. Then no contact. They won’t receive a word you say anyway, seeing everything as somehow damaging or hurting them or you just won’t be controlled. They can’t handle that one. I’ve yet to say a word to these people. But they continue acting aggressively. Because I won’t play their game. Hopefully, one day, they’ll tire of it, or find someone else to badger…
My favourite trick is that when narc try to contact me I force myself to think one step ahead.I ask a question in my mind what his needs ...why he is asking like that ....and I leave all the things up to him.. no more suggestions..no more supply ...no...more criticism
This video is ABSOLUTELY EXCELLENT! These are the strict strategies & more that I applied 28 years ago. The ex was always angry w/the way I dealt w/him. I remember my lawyer saying “it’s a strategy” to deal w/now ex-husband at that time. Ex hated me then. & still does.
I've done a couple of these things just this week. I didn't react to the accusations, I responded with questions that presented facts that could not be refuted.
It was so satisfying. I'm still chuckling.
Also, he was hurt yesterday, mildly, a rug burn. Ya know, a light kiss for a young kid and off they play? He's shown it to me 4 times in the last 16 hours. I've just looked at it and said, "Yep. Looks painful." The first time. The last 3 times I said, "Yep. It's still there."
When you are born in a dysfunctional family, you can not tell them about the boundaries. I believe eventually you learn by yourself how to deal with them individually.
Collectively, easier and much faster.
I have started these techniques, and I am feeling empowered again! I am secretly enjoying my sons expressions on his face as I stick to my guns!
You are awesome!