What Are You Worried About? | Mel Robbins
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- Опубликовано: 12 янв 2019
- Want to join 260,000 people around the world changing their lives for the better? Sign up for #MindsetReset any time here: melrobbins.com/mindsetreset/
Today marks the first day of Anxiety Week! For the next week, all of the #MindsetReset videos will be focused on topics related to anxiety.
The training portion of today's video is focused on the connection between worry and anxiety. Then, I answer a number of your questions about worry.
Here’s what else covered in today’s training and Q&A:
The connection between worry and anxiety.
How I cured myself of my anxiety (Hint...with the same techniques you'll be learning this week!)
What to do if your thoughts default to the worst case scenario.
What if you live with someone who worries all the time?
I'm worried about a potential diagnosis. What can I do?
I worry about a loved one. What can I do?
What to do if you're worried about finances.
These questions and MORE are featured in today's video.
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For all those re-watching:
3:34 intro to today's training
17:50 Q1: What if you live with someone who worries and that causes you anxiety?
22:30 Q2: What do I do when I'm waiting to get a procedure for a possibly frightening diagnosis?
26:35 Q3: How do I stop worrying about the dangers of kids drinking and driving?
30:43 Q4: How does managing anxiety work when living with a loved one's chronic illness?
33:00 Q5: How do I not worry about money?
37:09 Q6: Handling a daughter traveling abroad
40:52 Q7: What can I do to break the habit of worrying? (Tonight's homework assignment)
44:55 shoutouts / testimonials
I'm a couple days behind on doing these--but now I have tools to keep a positive mindset about it and not be hard on myself. Thanks Mel. :-)
Off topic but your skin looks amazing Mel
Thank you :-)
Thank you for adding this information! ♥️
so helpful!
This training series have been life changing. This one especially. I am a worrier always have been one since I was younger. But my worry an anxiety has causes so much trouble in my life.
I've had cancer 3 times, but I've had 6 maybe's. Three of those test came come back negative so worrying about them was a waste of my time. I know it's challenging, but why worry about something that may not happen? Think about cancer when you know the results. I know, I know, it's tough to do!! I believe worry will only make your situation more upsetting and worry and stress can cause cancer. Be thankful we live in an age when cancer can be tested for. I've had 99% of my friends and acquaintance who've had a mammography came back questionable and when they had the biopsy come back negative.
Since I am listening to you dear Mel, I could overcome my stress, my heartbroken, my chaotic undisciplined life.you helped me more than my advisor which I have had 23 sessions since last year. you helped me a lot to reorganize my life. I am an international visual artist with lots of stress due to my new life. I really love you and from bottom of my heart I say, God bless you.
21:30. "We love our anxiety. Because when we freak out, we train those around us to solve our problems." Until this moment, it was never more clear to me why this is the tool I reach for so often!!! How can I be my family's rock in the storm if I'm asking them to carry me?
I can't say I will never do this again. I CAN say, I will never do this again in blissful ignorance. That lie just collapsed.
Nice!!!
I’m noticing the small shifts! I was taught as a small child that I could control my thoughts and emotions. I also have an extroverted personality and confidence. But I struggle with panic attacks. Have since my daughter was born. I have not had one since I read your book, watched a ton of your videos, met you in Nashville in October, and started this program. You have changed my life. Turns out I was in my default mode worrying! I didn’t even know I was doing it! Now I do. So I take time to write things down. 54321 my ass out of bed everyday. Be deliberate more often. Thank you. Thank you. So excited about this week and this program. 💪🏼❤️💞
That happened to me! I was ready to quit school, my junior year and my mom called me out and confronted my anxiety with tough love! I am so grateful to her for that
EMDR is a life changer. I have done it, and it WORKS. I also have ADD, depression, and anxiety. I love that Mel doesn't hide what she is going through, and that she takes her experiences to reach out and help others. What a radiant beam of hope! THANK YOU, MEL!
My husband suggested I try Ted talks to help me on my anxiety and to stop being so hard on myself. I’m soooo happy I came across you Mel. You have literally helped me to see myself as a strong person who can handle whatever with a better mindset. Thank you!
It's helpful to read everyone's comments. I can relate to a lot of them. I go into worry-spirals regarding my mental health, my family, my spouse, my relationships, my past, my future, my job, my interests. I worry about having traits that I see in others who are socially rejected for having those traits. I worry about being the object of someone's jealousy, and how they could try to hurt me. I worry about being judged, shamed, gossiped about, humiliated, and rejected. I notice that everything I worry about has to do with things that have either happened in the past (that I don't want to happen again) or things that I've witnessed other people go through.
I'm worried about a job interview on Tuesday. My goal is to leave a toxic workplace in hopes of a more positive environment and room for growth. Please send good vibes! Thank you!!
Just do what u should to do to have the job than let the resulte to god
I just left a horribly toxic job, and I'm still looking for some interviews. Good luck and good vibes! Oh and good job for getting yourself out!
Good luck! I just got out of a toxic workplace and am a happier person for it :)
Good luck with the job! Can relate to your situation.. sending good vibes 😊😊
My Nick name is Cece and I recently had an interview and it went well despite being a light nervous. I had a roller in my hair and it didn't get noticed!! Who knew...I left there feeling amazing because I listened to what Mel said about triggers and worry!!!
What about ruminating about the past and things or mistakes we have made that have us in our current situation? I am optimistic about the future, but I find myself thinking about my past frequently. Thanks Mel for these trainings!
I have a chance to go back to work after 7 years staying home with my kids. It scares the sh** out of me and I realize I was making excuses not to at least try and see what happens. Thank you, I used your methods this morning to get me out of my negative thinking.
I can relate...I have had anxiety at 18yrs, was treated and have been practicing yoga, visualization and what you call mind dumping, which has help me tremendously..I am now in the process of fulfilling my dream and often the thought of cancer pops up, after numerous doctors appointment I have realized that it's my mind playing tricks by instilling fear to keep me in my comfort zone. I am now taking action and making the changes in order to fulfill my dreams. With this lesson you are now helping me understand when I am in worrying mood and how to change it because it does no good....i have also understand that a LITTLE anxiety is good because then I know am changing and making process. Thank you so much for the powerful lessons on how and why the Mind works the way it does.....you're awesome
I have a pain in my left side under rib cage..dealing with health stuff for so long. Worry and anxiety makes it worse. I want to heal badly. Grateful for videos like this. Amazing.
This is all such fabulous stuff. I am a therapist and use a lot of cognitive behavior therapy. That is what a lot of this is and I am suggesting it to a LOT of my clients including my number one client....ME. I will also use it with my 7 year old daughter. Thanks for all you are doing with this. I'm a fan!
Mel, I just started this a week ago and I am first listened to a TED talk several years ago from you and I found this Mindsetreset on RUclips.
I am so glad I did even those this was several years back, but this has helped me so much. I was not able to find the link for the mindsetreset document, but I am listening to them in sequence. These are so helpful and I have to tell you I have suffered from Anxiety for many years and it was really bad a one point. I was a given so many different meds to help but honestly the MOAI's were not agreeable to my system. It all started over 37 years ago on a very high stressful job, but I think it had been there but not to the extent if finally came to. So Sister I know.. I am so happy for these Videos and being part of your Network. Thank GOD for you. :-)
OMG, the most powerful sentence in this whole video for me is ''We love anxiety.'' I am cured forever. That makes so much sense, Mel. Thank you, girl. I send you lots and lots of love.
Hello from Tampa, Florida! I discovered your lectures last year, and have followed the Mindset/Reset program since the beginning. I've changed my morning routine & immediately saw the transformation in how my day unfolds. I"m practicing the visualization and deliberate thinking techniques daily. I've taken online college courses about how the brain works but your course is giving me practical applications for this new knowledge. I work with homeless & unaccompanied youth and visualize helping them understand and cope with their anxiety. But, first, I must overcome my own. Thank you so much for this amazing program!!! xoxo
Discussing fear - as an active parent (great uber rule! Thanks Mel!) ... is why I am so tuned into learning from you. Parenting is such a big part of life for many of us - so having it weaved into the work is so important to me.
Mel and Chris - thank you for the recommendation of The Book of Awakening! It was delivered yesterday and I'm reading it. Love it!
Wow!!! Using anxiety to have others “fix” our problems... I have never thought about that, but it is SO true!! Thank you for saying that! I needed to hear that.
This is a great course and thank you for making it free!! Appreciate your persistence with all the software issues, watching the live when possible, if not, I am watching the playlist on RUclips. Thank you!!!
I listen to you before bed and while I sleep. You are heaven sent. Thank you for your help to keep our mental state aligned and connected to the present. You give us so much and we relate, THANK YOU! Stay Well!
Greatly appreciate receiving the #MindsetReset sessions. Today's session had been an eye opener for me. Some of your advices in today's session are of use to me now, rest I am sure will be in the future. I feel so grateful for being able to listen to your talks and process them. Your answers are so sincere and genuine, inspiring us to do a mindset reset for a more fulfilling life. Thank you Mel Robbins.
Thank you indeed for doing this Mel! I really appreaciate it and I belive in what you teach me. Amazing work!
Your amazing Mel! You have helped me so much with my anxiety! You explain it spot on
Hi Mel, thanks for another great video. I really enjoyed your story about your mother's speech when you called home from college freshman year. I had a similar experience when I went to MSU and my Dad who is also from North Muskegon gave me the same kick in the pants. And you know what, it worked! It spring boarded me to bigger and better things throughout my life. I'm now 50 and rarely complain or whine like some of my more coddled peers.
I'm behind a day -- I still love getting the RUclips - so clear and I can't watch them live so I love RUclips! So just keep 'er going!
#mindsetreset
I can relate with what many have expressed. I have realized that I have fostered the habit of worrying because I have a warped belief that to not worry is arrogant, over-confident, irresponsible, etc., I somehow equated worrying with being sensible and responsible; that if I didn't worry, I was tempting fate and asking for trouble.
Thank you for doing all the work to now help us live that stress free life. I got new tools to stop the constant worry and self doubt. New me today❤️
#mindsetreset
What I am worried about:
1. Getting laid off (I know a reduction is coming and fear I'm "on the list")
2. Feeling embarrassed that my coworkers will think that I'm an incompetent, irrelevant, under-performer (I'm not)
3. That I won't find a new job, I'm a single breadwinner with a mortgage, also I'm 50
4. That my introversion, shyness and lack of self-confidence will keep me from pursuing an alternative career in fitness; worried that students won't take me seriously (I'm too old)
Fittle.....I am 55 and would live a fitness class for my age group. Start your own business!
@@ChristinaMac Thank you so much, Christina! I wonder if others feel the same? The wheels are turning ... : )
I wont mind getting trained by a 50 year old trainer. I am more worried about getting bad advice by younger ones who dnt have practical experience and unaware of different types of issues and related solutions which are gained only by experience. Obviously, you can start by try targeting 30+ customers who have mature attitude towards life.
Fittle I owned a gym that I had to sell because the overheads were overwhelming me. I now have an online health and wellness business with an amazing company. My personal growth has been massive, I am working with people who are here to support and elevate each other. I have been with them for 2 years and I’m 63 this year. Best thing I ever did .
@@christinaamond8075 Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you found an amazing opportunity. Are you in the US? A friend has recommended working with Beach Body.
It is all about resetting our mindset to live authentic lives! I am dedicated to my personal development and it starts with our thoughts. you got this guys!
Thank you for another great training Mel. Just one thing, please STOP apologizing for videos that run longer than planned. We're here to learn & grow and more than likely that requires more than a 10 minute snippet of information. If a person is not willing to give a measly 49 minutes for information that will last a lifetime than they can go somewhere else...if u know what I mean.
We'll said! There's always enough time to learn and grow!
Due to poor judgment in decisions and path ways I have previously experience. I feel like I don’t trust myself and I feel disappointed in those choices. Which brings me to not believing in myself, because my previous decisions weren’t good choices. So I find it hard to believe in my choices even though my life is going in a different direction. I am trying to rebuild the trust within myself as I believe it will help me become more confident in myself, my decisions and my health.
So I get very anxious and I always second guess myself no matter how big or small the decisions or situation. I feel watching this video that I have a better understanding of who I am and the battles I have with myself! Thank you and I’m grateful I can have this to replay over and over!
Wow omg this video is incredible, really informative and it's like you were speaking to my soul.
Couple days behind thanks to food poisoning! But that’s ok! Cause I know it’s ok to slow down for a few days! I used to give up when I got off track...now I know I have to do what works for ME and me alone. There are no rules. No mistakes. Just growth. Challenges - like not being able to leave the bathroom for two days lol- come up in life and we have to know how to put what’s most important first. For me - it was my health this weekend. I usually push through being sick and just make myself worse. This time I knew it would all still be there Monday morning and I’d have a chance to reset! Every day is a chance to reset!
Oh my gosh, as you started out listing stuff, I was like, oh yeah, I worry about those things too.
Money (my husband and I have very different spending patterns), my spouse drinking (this is a family issue), creating a successful company (this is about being good enough), raising my kids well (they are really awesome), my house and everything that needs to be done to maintain it (which is about money)
Thank you I needed to hear this. My plan is to keep on listening over and over...there is so much great wisdom and thoughts to learn, thanks again. Love, hugs and prayer to you and everyone. Carmen
Mel you are amazing!! One of my main triggers is when I get "no,s". I have a large to do list and limited time to get it done ( which you mentioned how important it is to have an end time) so when I plan to do something and people say no to me it triggers a bit of anger. However on Sunday I got a no I can,t give you the information I asked for at that very moment, I was able to apply the think this attitude and it my anger was gone within minutes. I like to get done things now when I can at that very moment. I do realize with a smile you can get for the most part lots of yes,s.
Appreciate your free teachings I am feeling a shift in my thinking bless you Mel
She rocks ❤...can't believe RUclips cut her off from live streaming....ridiculous!
Hi Mel. I'm a worry jonky and I use that to stay in a comfort zone and gives me a excuse to not do anything, and feel like a victim in other people's eyes. I used to have negative and tragic thoughts all time. Now I am working with the MindsetReset. Some days are more easier than others. But I don't allow me this behavior anymore. About the homework, my main worry is to not finish my thesis again. And I have 40 now. I don't start it yet, I'm the approval phase of subject and scares me a lot to fail again. Thanks for everything!
God bless you and thank you so much for sharing this powerful message .
I’m now officially signed up. I don’t belong to any social media other than Utube, so I hope that’s not a problem. I’m ready for a change in my life.
It's not she on all 3
I got up at 5:05 today. 2 year long struggle is over and I’m so grateful for your help and I do a combo with Miracle morning. I feel so calm and for the first time ever I’m in time. Since the last 4 years when I became a mother I have been 10 minutes late. ALL THE TIME! 🥴🤯😤😂❤️ so thank you, my live is shifting. 🙏🏻♥️
My mother is a huge worried person..grew up with it..thanks Mel
Yes, still going through a lot. This is very helpful
Thank you so much Mel. Your videos are really helpful for me.
Just found this comment on Facebook recently and thought it ties in very nicely with the first Question of the live session about people stirring up our anxiety. It says "When someone tells you it can't be done, it's more a reflection of their limitations, not yours". I am so bad on taking on other peoples "stuff', but though mindset reset will work on this, thanks Mel and team for all your hard work and all that you are doing for us.
So helpful when u mentioned that people with anxiety can train us to solve their problems.
#mindsetreset this is SO helpful! Thank you
Great program I really enjoyed the Q & A! Than you Mel !
i went to my dr about an issue. she said that it "might be" and suggest me to a specialist. my worry turned to anxiety and i was 100 convinced that i had this disease. my body responded to my anxiety. i went to the specialist and i am okay. wow, this is powerful stuff.
Mel Thank you so much ❤️ just being positive mind set reset
💖👍 Thank you Mel Robbins, thank you to your team & your family! You ALL ARE AMAZING!!!
This is such great information Thank you,I needed to hear this.
This has been incredibly incredibly useful. Thank you!!!!!
Change your mind and your life will change. This one really stuck with me. No change unless the mindset is reset.
Thank you! Love the mantra you shared! Spot-on!
Yes Thumbs UP! I've have incorporated The 5 Second Rule and the Journal since June...and it's definitely a natural routine for me. #MindSetReset came at a perfect time! Thank you Mel and your Dream Team :)
I love this video so much. Thanks Mel!
Thank you so much for the advise!! 5..4..3..2..1..is the KEY!!!
Really great Topic Mel, Thank you! ❤️
Hi Mel, i just found your teaching a few days ago, i am excited that i have some hope that things can improve, i live in New Zealand.
Since i have watched these videos thinks are starting to change in my life x
I love your book and you are a great inspiration! I am just starting my new YT channel for empowering and motivating women and you have really influenced my following through with it! Thank you 🙏 God bless you Mel!
Thank you Mel. Your tools are helping me
you are amazing you have touch me in so many ways I am having a fantastic day . I slept through the night by not thinking of all the things I have to do I say it’s all done. I WILL get everything done . .my biggest thing is I worry about money but know I say mind set reset have a beautiful day
Oh my gosh! When you talk about your mom and telling to get your stuff together! I am experiencing this with my daughter. i will use your tools and your mom's method! Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lately I have caught, random waves of emotions (wanting to cry) with nothing consciously prompting it. In catching it, I say it out loud "I am feeling emotional" and then shrug thinking, but I am okay, I am safe, and then let it go. Previously, I would hold it because it would be weird to say it out loud and then when I was behind closed doors cry. The latter is much better.
Ohhh I needed to hear the last few minutes of this. My account on facebook was hacked and disabled. And you know how that feels with the RUclips stumble, sending you good vibes it is resolved quickly. I am taking your insight and not going to worry about it, instead work on other things that align with my goal of sharing positive messages. Thanks so much Hugs from Michigan
Am brand new.... stumbled on to you today for the first time. I am sooo excited!
Sharing nuggets learned onto my facebook.
Me: "What has worry ever changed?"
Friend: "Hair color!"
Hahaha. Wasnt expecting that answer but so right on. Made me laugh, made my morning, brought more energy.
Dealing with my default thinking of a life long illnesses. I learned I can improve through diet and now have the courage to take steps toward wellness. First time I'm getting excited to get well. I can now choose to change my life because of mindset rest. I took one step, out of guilt parenting, by having my two children sleep without me laying with them. Interrupted sleep for me equals a happier Mom to spend time with them throughout the day! 🙌
Thank you to all who make this program possible for us to receive. With it we are changing our lives.
thank you so much Mel
Your videos are so helpful!! Thank you
really happy...now i am really able to sort out my small problems....thanks for this program....this program is really solve my problem now iam not worrying for my future......
I just got anxiety when you started to explain every step of it. 😦 This is the kind of coaching I need though. 🖒
Me too. Talking, listening, or reading about anxiety, gives me anxiety.
Hope you are well how are you coping now? I too have anxiety but it has come from nowhere & is really messing with my head
Hope you’re well. Just read your 2 year old comment and wish you are doing much better now.
Wow, I'm glad I set my stop work time to 9.30pm tonight because I'm doing yesterday's list of autopilot triggers with the new way to talk to myself, as well as today's homework. We'll make it happen though!
*_This is a great course. Thanks Mel._*
Worrying does nothing. Be deliberate about my thoughts. Wow! Take action towards a solution and remember when you know better you'll do better. I'm not perfect and I've done my best. Wow! Stop making excuses and take steps. Its something about writing things out and speaking them out loud that brings them to life. Thank you so much for being You. I just received my 5 second rule book and journal that I will start later today❤❣
I started over a hundred times using this plan. Stopped using it for a year, having anxiety for a year starting before this pandemic and after trying it yesterday, I knee exactly what I needed to write down without having the plan. I knee it by heart. I think it was exaxtly this video.
Im in a huge pile of shit but Im proud thar I remembered this without realizing.
I dont know why I was posting this. I feel proud that I saved myself I guess, with these tools. I just remembered that one of my goals a year ago was to be able to know how fill in a plan in the morning.
I was always worry about others anger...but thank you to your #second rule I have don't go that place anymore.
Absolutely makes sense, Mel!
Love all the training ...
Gosh thanks Mel, superbly helpful
To the mom with the daughter studying abroad, my daughter did the same for a year in Germany. Arrange daily check ins thru text and weekly Facebook video calls . This really helps us for the 10 months she was there. I had the same issues with others bringing up dangers to me when I was okay with it.
Thank you Mel!
Thank you Mel
So great.
We are imperfect beings.
I'm learning to let go of being a perfectionist.
You’re amazing thank you so much
Great episode!
The five-second rule has changed everything for me ! And now, I'm using the high five method as well. Wow. The "anchor thoughts" are to me yet another moniker for positive thinking. It's all about how either of those titles make you feel, as you let yourself react to thoughts that feel favorable while sending that signal to the prefrontal cortex.
Mark Nepo! Isn't funny how we get stuck on someones name - I know I do it. The Book of Awakening is beautiful - all of Mark Nepo's work is amazing. Mel & team - thank you so much for this training.
You’ve succeeded in surviving in continuing to work hard and to being a decent person - you said so in your writing - congratulations on that plus it sounds as though you haven’t given up on yourself - you’ve had lots of disappointments and I feel for you - so take care x
I use your 5 to 1 method in the mornings. I am sometimes not happy with Mel in the morning, and I do get up.
My name is Tracey. I've found this course so interesting and helpful so far. Planning and putting everything I have learned into place now😊
love this video because Mel talked about my country repeatedly (Cambodia)
My problem with worry is that for many years when I was younger, I DIDN'T worry...about anything. I always thought everything was going to work out and never envisioned worst case scenarios; I always trusted that everything in my life was going to be good and that nothing bad was going to happen. And then 8 years ago, all kinds of bad things that I never imagined would happen, DID happen. My Family members started dying (my immediate family members), my Ex-Husband abandoned my children, I lost my job and my whole life started circling the drain, so to speak, and I became severely depressed. I have still not recovered; I haven't recovered from the grief and loss, I haven't recovered from the financial debacles that happened as a result of me losing my Family and losing my job and losing any physical or financial help with my children. And now as a result of all these things happening, I ALWAYS plan for and have come to EXPECT the worst case scenario. I try my hardest not to and I do everything I can to remain positive. However, I feel like I am continuously knocked down by life and my situation/circumstances, and even though I'm trying my absolute best to turn things around, I can't help but worry, even when I keep telling myself that everything will be alright...I just have a really hard time BELIEVING it. But I'm going to keep working on it. I'm hoping that this #MindsetReset program will help me with overcoming those default thoughts and worries. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to try and change my thinking and, in turn, change my life. I'm putting my faith in you! :)
Dont forget to put your faith in you too. You have survived a lot so you are therefore resilient . We all are as human beings naturally . You are suffering from an inundation of traumatic events all happening RANDOMLY (remember that randomly) but unfortunately in a row . Like throwing 4 ones in a row at dice is very unlucky but still not fixed . You are scared that it will continue. Because each time you got up again you threw another one . But like dice you can only throw so many ones . A six will come next or whatever . But good things happen too . You may throw 4 sixes on a run now . That's life . You are not cursed . And you now know one thing you didnt know prior to your barrage of major life traumas . you can survive shit like that . You are amazingly brave and strong now going forward knowing what you are capable of . Love yourself . Now go and rock the good times . Roll those sixes xxxx
Carole H - Thank you so very much, from the bottom of my heart. Your kind words of encouragement and understanding are appreciated more than I can explain. I’m not sure how brave and strong I am; I just know I have to keep pushing...I have to make my children proud (and I want to make myself proud as well). I’ll do my best to “rock the good times” and roll the sixes!
With much Gratitude, 🙏🏼
Hi Tonia that sounds like my year in 2020. divorce, lost great job, lost best friend and lost my mother. & MUCH MORE! 2020 has been extremely challenging. HOWEVER, I wake up every morning and thank GOD for all the things I DO have; My eyes, my legs, Being able to do Yoga, my friends etc,, I find if you START the day with gratitude it has really helped me. Think of people that have it worse then you, and there are plenty! Hope that helps you.
Thanks! I think you are fabulous