How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF
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- Опубликовано: 24 апр 2024
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Mel Robbins is a married working mother of three, an ivy-educated criminal lawyer, and one of the top career and relationship experts in America. Widely respected for her grab-'em-by-the-collar advice and tough love, Robbins drills through the mental clutter that stands between people and what they want. Her approach is smart, effective and entertaining. Five days a week, Mel hosts her own syndicated radio show The Mel Robbins Show, discussing hot topics and giving advice to callers across America. She is starring in a new series, In-Laws, airing this summer on A&E. In addition, she writes a monthly column for Success Magazine, is a former CNBC contributor and is the co-founder of Advice for Living, Inc., which develops products and television programming with experts in the wellness, health, relationship and career categories.
Most nights, once the kids are in bed, you'll find Mel at home with a bourbon on the rocks and her Australian Shepherd at her feet, writing about life, love and everything else on her award-winning blog: www.melrobbins.com
event video by: repertoireproductions.com/
"You'll never hang out with the person who talks to you like you talk to yourself" hit read hard
Wow! I like that mindset. So true!
Because thoughts are not social interactions, they are not comparable and saying they are is childish.
@Risa J
I only read half of this book... why? Because I forgot it in the seat pocket when I flew across the Atlantic... And you know what? When I realized this I was so HAPPY... Why? Because I knew that someone was going to find it and get to read it and I felt nothing but joy. I came to this site so I could buy it and finish the last half, but I already know enough about this book and this author ..... to rate it 5 stars... I'd give it 11 if there were 10.
It's so exciting to be finding that the path to a place I'd once visited temporarily, as if on a vacation, was actually a place that I can now live. The only thing more exciting than that is wanting to share this discovery with so many others... I'm risking becoming a pain on Facebook talking about this author...
He is full of Humility and backs away from any notion that he or anyone can do unto any other. This is a Process that only you can take on for you. Daniel Anderson is a guide for you to enable your own journey to a place that is so incredible you'll be awed and probably even suffer a wave of fear that you might ever loose what you gained it is so precious. Thankfully he teaches us how to transcend that kind of fear so we are able to recover from it! If you want to gift people you love... his books would be a way to accomplish that and, if they are not ready to read them, they might give them to someone who would... they are truly a gift to the world.
p.s. name of this book is "kit for emotional stability" by Daniel Anderson
what does this mean? can someone explain this. thanks
@@lourdandreilingat2903 the way people have negative thoughts about themselves, like "don't apply for that job, you'll never get it" or "don't bother going on a diet you'll fail in a day", you wouldn't hang out with someone who said those things to you in conversation so you should not say them to yourself either.
'Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever could'...
I really needed to read that right now
Thank you °°
i have tried so much and failed so much, I swear idk what to do anymore
Too much failure will cause doubt and the cycle continues, trust me
I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work. -Thomas Edison
@@OneUmmahOnly KEEP TRYING UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT ✅ 💯
NEVER GIVE UP . WHEN WE STOP LEARNING WE STOP GROWING
Can’t remember who said it but: “The pain of regret is worse than the pain of discipline.” 🙏🏼
Kept searching for someone on the right grid and there you are
Jim Rohn
It is crazy to know that she described this as a 20-minute panic attack on her podcast. She was so confident and could have fooled me.
is that what was happening? She almost gave me one! Pfew... Hey, I still listened to the whole thing and actually didn't snooze my alarm today.
Knowing this enriches even more her lecture
I wanted to know what it looked like… and it looks like success to me! I live in a panic attack- maybe I could do at least something with my life lol
Same, I had no idea because she seems so solid. I think she made it in two seconds, which explains why the words/pictures are so simple, but that adds to the effectiveness. No fancy graphics, just Mel and her life and real examples. She's very good at using anxiety energy to get her point across, I think alota ppl treat all anxiety as bad (as opposed to just over-anxiety). I suffer from it at times, but breathing exercises are great.
"Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them."
I kinda do sometimes 😅
Yeah should of delt with you today next time I see you
@@Rajina.p yes....we was so lazy.
this idea right here, will not be acted on by most
@@robertsteelejr5200 howyo,,,🥺
Help i'm stuck on the TED self-help playlist
I feel ya, it is fine for tonight doing research but I'm gonna be sorry tomorrow LOL
🤣🤣🤣
There are MUCH BETTER self help playlists!
@@moondancer9066 which ones?
You're not alone
Tomorrow is near, yet so far away. Choose this day to love unconditionally, and be happy within
Richard A . Blair Fx
OR Instagram
He will guide you through the process of investing
@lukumanassanalhassan9431 Everybody has been talking about (Richard A. Blair Fx) so I'm not surprise you mentioned him again is this his contact
I really need to write him up
Summary -
-Think about what you want - Be selfish and specific
-Don't tell yourself you're 'fine' - you probably convinced yourself that the thing you truly want, you're 'fine' not having it
-You're never going to 'feel like it', don't hit snooze on your ideas
-It's your job to make yourself do the things you don't want to do, so that you can be everything you're supposed to be
-FORCE yourself to change your routine - anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force
-Feeling stuck/dissatisfied with your life is a signal that one of your most basic needs aren't being met - the need for &
-Get out your head
-Get past your feelings
-Get your comfort zone
-Don't think too much, do something fast before you end up pulling the "emergency brakes"
-Act on your ideas or impulse
you snooze you lose
Short version: You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
Well said. Thanks
Yeah really. Good advice; but long winded.
Thank you for the short version - too much talking for my like.
yep yep yep I hears ya....
English lessons on the agenda
Very short version: just do it.
1. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
2. You're never going to feel like it
3. You are not fine
4. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change
5. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be
6. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE
it's the "YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE" for me.
@@msay8790 if you unmask I'll do it. 😊
@@MrTeslatube mask offff
You've changed my life!! ❤
"Action leads to motivation"
This is so true!
Two weeks ago I forced myself to stop procrastinating (after years and years...and years of trying) and started being productive. I hated it at first but after 3 days of changing bad habits and doing other things other than just being on the internet I started to LOVE the feeling of satisfaction I got everytime I did some hard work. I really feel like I can do anything, after two weeks! I'm never going back to the dark mindset I was in before. I'm enjoying life now and I'm really excited about the future. I know I have a long way and it's not easy but this is the new me.
You just need to experience both feelings (feeling of disappointment after you do something to screw yourself and the feeling of satisfaction you get when you do some hard work that you know is beneficial for you) I can assure you that you will choose that feeling of satisfaction everytime.
She felt at home however the audience gets uncomfortable with her actions. I have learnt a thing from it. You don't have to care what others think of your actions as long as you believe in what you are doing. She was truly remarkable.
is too much not caring and believing yourself regardlessly healthy?
@@whatfurqanknows it depends on the type of a person you are and how you want to lead the life, for someone who enjoys solitude or is an introvert, too much of not caring can work in situations but someone who wants to socialize and make connections, you can't go the path of too much carelessness.
I don't like the way she points her finger at the audience. It is impolite and rude.
I don't like that you don't like it.@@tuanlong6876
That’s the whole point though… getting uncomfortable. It just drives home the message even more than if she were to simply stand on stage and speak from a distance.
"you wouldn't hang out with ppl who talk to you the way you talk to yourself"
Damn that hit. I watched way too many motivational talks and whatsoever but for the first time I feel like this actually changed something inside.
I don't wanna feel sorry for myself anymore and I sure as heck don't wanna feel stuck in my own life.
Thank you sm for this❤️
I’m with you !!!❤ We got this!!!! ✊🏾
"You wouldn't hang out with someone who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself" brilliant
This is why I dont hang out with people. They inevitably say the things to you they say to themselves. 🤷
My favorite Mel quote!
does that means it bothers your inner self when someone dont reciprocate the same way you want to be treated?
"when you turned 18, nobody tells you it's your job to parent yourself" god, this hit. It's so true and the change is so sudden, you'll just notice people around you stop caring as they did when you were a child.
What if that 18 year old chap had done so in advance:)
Since i was born i had to parent myself xD rip me but true, it somehow gets even harder
@@aurora_boketto7746 That's sad. I hope you have someone who remembers to take care of you.
Parents do not necessarily stop caring. They just don't want to fight an 18-y-o who will inevitably say, "I'm 18 now, You can't make me do anything I don't want to do."
I think they stop responding to you like you're a child and allowed or expect you to figure things out yourself first, then they'd be there as support... just my 2 cents🙂
"All day long you have ideas that could change your life, could change the world, could change the way you feel. And what do you do with them? Nothing!" She is so right! I needed to hear this. I love this statement now!
lets learn life programming: Could = -1. (Error) Should = 0. (False or Stop) Need = 1. (True or Start)
Well did you change?
I was in tears.... and it came from somewhere much deeper... NOT the throat... it was not sadness or happiness... it was CONNECTION to what she is saying ,,,, SO grateful for having heard this.
👍
"Treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for helping." -JP
😐😐😐😟Damn thks for this; this will help me a lot with my self love journey as I try so hard to cope with a low self imagine 😢
Quote Dr. Jordan Peterson
An excellent speaker.
Look up his latest book:
“12 Rules for Life - An Antidote to Chaos”
Yes!
"I don't care how you feel. I care about what you want. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it."
A valuable point there
aye cute photo right there
powerful words imo
True
Damn bro.
I'm having a RUclips TED talk marathon to help my RUclips addiction. Seems to be a legit way to do it. 💯
lmao same. i want to quit social media, i have told everyone i have quit social media, but i come and watch what my brain calls "useful videos". i know my brain is fooling me, yet i am unable to stop it.
@@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384 we are consumers of an infinitive content let's hope the internet dies...
@@CalmDown-so3ye i mean in the 2000s it wasnt this bad, i think. algorithms which show you what you want to watch and infinite scroll are the crux of today's problems
@@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384 yeah like 5-6 years ago I remember me and my friends watch what's popular or we had channels love most and we waited videos from them like a TV series
My favourite quote.
"Self pity solves nothing"
Aka feelings sorry for yourself is normal, reflect sure, but start doing something about it.
I searched "how to get over depression" and I got here. I took a bowl of spaghetti and sat down to watch it. Half way through the video I'm crying telling myself "I'm not fine" with spaghetti falling out of my mouth.
You are amazing and you are great . 1, 2, 3,4, 5!
If not connect with me for more friends support - I believe in you
Huggie💛
Aww it’s gonna be okay wish you luck
Did the same thing..
hope you feeling better now
I need a TEDx video about how to stop watching TEDx videos, seriously i need to sleep
Lets recap......... Fine equals Fuck and she didn't say how much we have to pay for her to moon us. But....... not every seminar will be perfect.
I totally feel u.
Just do it.... you feel the impulse? Then do it.
Vê o video da Mel Robbins sobre a técnica dos 5 segundos; isso irá ajudar-te a não procrastinar o sono. É mais ou menos isto: força-te a começar a meter na cama antes de acabares de contar 5 segundos.
I like your response : ))
-Think about what you want - Be selfish and specific
-Don't tell yourself you're 'fine' - you probably convinced yourself that the thing you truly want, you're 'fine' not having it. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
-You're never going to 'feel like it', don't hit snooze on your ideas.
-It's your job to make yourself do the things you don't want to do, so that you can be everything you're supposed to be.
-Force yourself to change your routine - anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change.
-Feeling stuck/dissatisfied with your life is a signal that one of your most basic needs aren't being met - the need for. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be.
-Get out your head.
-Get past your feelings.
-Get your comfort zone. You have to force yourself to be uncomfortable.
-Don't think too much, do something fast before you end up pulling the "emergency brakes"
-Act on your ideas or impulse
"When you listen to how you feel about what you want you will not get it because you will never feel like it."
11 years later, I watched this and went on a walk in a snowy beautful winter day. Thanks for the motivation.
"When you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration."
✌🏼💗
what a minute?
she was so comfortable, she was talking to them as a friend. I've never seen a ted talk amazing like this.
Absolutely! Engaging!
Killed it!
TED subjects are good, but almost every video and news report can communicate the key points in 5 minutes or less, instead of wasting 10-20 minutes for everyone when they could be DOING something useful.
watch more ted i gues
@@PeopleHealthTru I think that there are topics that deserve more time to not just express the key points because to make people act, you need to emphatize with them, make them feel like they need to change.
"you have life changing ideas for a reason and its not to torture yourself" I think every artist / creative person needs to hear this
Seeing someone that is that good at public speaking is impressive. Great advice too. 👍
poor public speaker ... and i bet worse in private or personal ...OMski
Someone once said, "When you're in a deep hole, the first step in getting out of that hole is to stop digging.
Thank you, I really needed to read that right now
Sometimes i just really need to read something like this
Wooow....this should be at the top
is insane but we are said and we don't change nothing
Woooow😲😲
This is how I get over a break-up. Watching TedTalks. Damn this helps.
it sure does.
which ones may I ask? for a friend of course
+Gumby blue go watch can money buy happiness, old but gold.
That's exactly what I am doing these days
lol whats are the odds 😂
Long story short = give yourself permission to follow your dreams and take action on them
To anyone who feels life is pathetic or it sucks.. just know you are doing your best and you are special no matter what the enemy brings to you.. do not allow fear doubt to mess up your life.. you are worth more than you believe or think
In highschool 3rdQ recently I've been having a thoughts to kill myself but it's wrong making me procastinate more I think it started 2month ago
What should I do( note:please don't involve others to the sulution I'm really weak at that part
when life seems like it's falling apart , it's just 'falling into place'...OMski
Are u alive @@nicoleasi2656
"If you feel dissatisfied or stuck in your life, it is a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met."
Nice one!
@@nooneinparticular8383 Not nice one!
This world is deluded! Do you fear the unknown? No, you cannot fear something you don't know, you can fear letting go of what you know!
Awareness is the way to freedom and life. Pay attention and observe the present moment, how can you enjoy the moment if you're not in the moment?
Drop your illusions, opinions, concepts, prejudges, labels, expectations, drop them all and wake up.
Happiness lyes within you, you don't need to be rich, you don't need to be successful, you don't need friends, you don't need anything to be happy because a human being's natural state is happiness.
Look back to when you were three years old, where was your happiness coming from?
Friends? A career? Success? Money? Power? No.
Your happiness is within YOU. Wake up out of the condition you were put in.
Again, your happiness is within YOU.
I feel stuck and pretty much dissatisfied in ma life but I don't know wat to do abt it.
@@angiedonams1266
Try reading about self-awareness and self-trust.
Research shows those who are self-aware are more fulfilled, less likely to cheat, lie or steal, have stronger relationships, are more promotable and professional at what they do.
You've got to put yourself in the driver's seat and trust yourself, don't keep trusting what everyone else says about you.
You are the captain of your ship throuout your life, get out of your comfort zone , it's the truth
So, basically... "DO IT! Just DO IT! Don't let your dreams be dreams!"
My god ....U Dame right ... thnx honey
but with context.
Thank you Shia
Yes, dreams are Wonderful, but nothing ever happens or completed without Action.
Yesterday you said tomorrow, so just do it
Today I literally woke up. I felt my vital energy. Thank you Mel Robbins.
The way every head turned to follow her when she walked through the crowd 😭
The problem is, the school system actually destroys this part of the mind for many people. We're taught for years on end, to stop, think, analyze, ruminate... but it turns out we have intuition and gut impulses that can allow us to be spontaneous and confident in what we do... and not always see our failures in the form of an F or 40%. We're taught to work our butts off, then take long breaks. We're taught to follow a routine and do things that don't interest us for hours and hours to make some number. So when it's all done and we're in the real world, many of us simply don't know HOW to go about even framing our mind for this way of thinking. You're lucky if you had great parents, teachers or friends that fostered this part of you, and to people like this, it's easy. It's as simple as just doing it, and they don't understand why people procrastinate or have analysis paralysis.
I used to be a very creative and spontaneous child, and by the end of high school I was just another robot. It has taken me years to even realize what happened to me, and now I'm a few years deep into trying to find my natural human side again.
I know she has a small amount of time to get across a big topic, but for talks like this to be really effective IMO, they have to share a type of detox method with tangible things to do. Mindfulness meditation is so crucial for many of us. You can't be happy or operate in the "now" if you're constantly future tripping or thinking about your past. Again, the school system gears you to think of the future. Graduation will save you. Post-secondary will save you. Work will save you. Making tons of money will save you. Finding love will save you. Learn to live in the present, and learn to calm your mind so that the natural river of thought can flow without obstructions caused by everyday mundane tasks or negative thoughts. That's how you'll find out what you really want, and what to do to get it. Social media and pornography are killers. Bad diets, lack of exercise, and lack of PLAY are killers. Many people don't even realize how important it is to to PLAY. Play catch, play at a gym, play with friends. When we think of the road to accomplish something major, we think that ALL that time we'll have to be working and it's daunting. Because that's what it was like in school. But in reality, if you learn to work a bit, then play a bit, you can continue on the road to your goals with a freer mind.
Anyway, I don't have all the answers, and I'm in the struggle myself. But I just thought I'd share with everyone some of the things I've come to learn. I see a lot of comments saying that it's easier said than done. And really, I agree. Very few speakers are tackling the tangible everyday things that are plaguing the mind needed to even be receptive to these types of speeches.
TheBoomshine I can actually feel that right now, after a year of high school, I'm not funny anymore, I don't care about friend or girls at all, I'm just kinda meh, thank's for the comment, it might change my life, any extra help?
SickChip I'd say just make sure to take time out to hang with friends, play outside, do things you love... don't just sit around at the computer all day or over study. Don't cram or do all-nighters, try to set a certain amount of work time, and then some YOU time. It's really tough, I know it is. There's just so much work to do. If I could do it all over again, I'd know that I don't want to be a brain surgeon or engineer and just settle for moderate marks instead of over achieving in everything. And instead of thinking that school is my only source of education, I'd educate myself in LIFE. Talk to all sorts of people, pursue my passions, learn an instrument. Cause after high school the world is much different. There are more fulfilling things than grades or huge paychecks. Follow what you love because society is a trap. I think Mark Twain once said, "Don't let school get in the way of your education". Great quote. All the best, my friend. Try to keep that little fire alive in you, don't let the system take it from you. If it means getting that sleep and only studying half the material, or failing a quiz or two because you went for a bike ride instead, do it. Trust me, the world won't end. It'll only do the opposite. :)
TheBoomshine didnt watch to much of this but i agree. While im attending college now I think school does a horrible job in some areas because school can brainwash you to think this is all you need, Go to school and you are fine. Nope, you aren't, school is just a bonus.
Many parents are undoubtedly having way too much faith in school, they ignore their children more because they think they are taken care of in school, as if it is the answer to everything. In reality, you can have all the knowledge in the world but without a heart for something it doesn't matter worth shit. Parents need to think before having kids.
TheBoomshine you got it DOWN!! The world needs people like you to speak up more. Do you have a blog? I'm gonna check out your channel, I'll be disappointed if there is nothing there :) I am probably going to copy and paste your post here into Notepad. Much love.
Word
"If you're in your head, you are behind enemy lines." One of the best quotes I've ever heard.
I watched this video about 6 years ago but nothing seemed to click. I probably wasn't ready to accept it then.
Just got around to reading your book. It is so refreshing to see how much you have included the audience in your book. Its probably the first book that I have read as such.
In just one day of having starting to read and not even finishing it I have managed to do things that I have been putting off for years.
The only regret is why have I not done this earlier
What’s the book ?
She is an amazing speaker, I love when she said "I'm counting on you, you got stuff to do!"
For the scared public speakers out there, notice how much she stutters, gets her words wrong and says "sorry, I mean" and yet STILL delivers an amazing powerful speech while still seeming reliable, engaging, smart, passionate, funny, etc. It doesn't matter if you mess up!
We q🎉 v
yeah because they'll get me even if I succeed
@@RakedLeaf 🙄
@@yd6484 bro you don't know anything so don't mock me watch out for the vans or color coordinated attacks
@@RakedLeaf what 😂
Gosh darn it. This video made me wash my hair at 2 in the morning....
I'm disabled so that's hard for me... But... I felt the urge as my hair was mingling a d went for it.
My hair is now lovely.
2 am or not, sounds like a win to me!
Kerami Roberts amazing haha
Beautiful
I am watching it at 2 a.m. And i want to change my life right now
That's really amazing
21:40 You know you’re a great public speaker when the audience gets energised just by listening to you.
Thank you so much Mel Robbins for this incredible speech, it really was the fulcrum for breaking my procrastination habits. Thank you TED for the event that brought us this speech and for generously sharing it freely to RUclips. Forever grateful. Don’t know where I’d be without it.
Summary " “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” ---- Toney Robbins
“How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
All its
Beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light
Against its Being.
Otherwise,
We all remain
Too
Frightened”
― Hafez
@@kiaweking that's beautiful.
Adrianna Wilhite haha right?!
@Adrianna Wilhite
Nobody, not even he, would say he didn't "steal" anything. He just knew a good idea when he saw it.
@Adrianna Wilhite THANK YOU omg I was thinking the same thing
To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation:
To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.
this is powerful. thank you so much for sharing.
@@s.s.7705 Glad you like it. Wishing you all the best.
this comment is so nice
@@kashika_strawberry.lipstic4624 Thank you. Wishing you all the best.
@@mindbodyrelaxation6828
This ted talk is too much for writers to describe what a masterpiece this video is.
Anyone else watching this in 2023 and seeing how old the video is when she said we are living in the best time right now? It certainly doesn't feel it but it did 12 years ago.
Yup life sucks now
I have social anxiety but today I'll begin to force myself to overcome it. I want to feel happy and free so I'm starting today, wish me luck!
I am sure you can do it, All the Best!!
Good luck! I have the same problem, i'll take the risks 5,4,3,2,1
Luisa Cruz i am gonna do it too.. how are you doing now?
I hope things worked out for you!
You are awesome and I'm sure you can do it.
Best Wish!
What I gathered from this video:
1. "You are never gonna feel like doing it." So just do it now.
2. When you get the idea to do sth, stop thinking and do it within 5 seconds.
3. You gotta be your own parent. Force yourself to do the things you don't want to do.
4. Don't ever hit the snooze button on your alarm. (I used to do that, but just felt more tired after sleeping 10 minutes longer again and again) So, really. Don't hit the snooze button and just rip away the blanket, swing your feet into your slippers and start your day.
5. Take a walk outside right now. (which btw I did, was planning on it anyway but glad I did it earlier than planned)
I'm proud of you, random stranger. Very cool.
Thank you! Not all heroes wear cape :)
Thank you guys. I feel like someone just gave me a heroes cape like a prize. Haha
Thanks so much for sharing your notes!
Thank yooou
I learnt from ur note more than the speach
It was too long and boring
I pressed the like button when she said..”I’m sure you convinced yourself that the thing you want you’re fine not having it”..that’s soooo true
she was so friendly with them as they were her friends, I have never seen any ted show like this.
Comfort is your worst enemy!
Wise words.
This is so true I strive for constant comfort it has made me a total of 260pounds I'm misserble
So true
Sure, yet everyone strive to ride a ferrari, have membership in 5 stars Spa, have huge appartment in luxurious estate. So basically you need to get out of your comfort zone to get in your comfort zone lol
You mean comfort zone, right?
As one of my favorite high school teachers said, "all the fun happens just outside your comfort zone"
and he (she) was tooootaly right. Just go out of your comfort zone! It sounds like a-super-coach-who-is-gonna-tell-you-how-to-life,but this is true.
I feel like one step for me is to know what are my comfort zones. Then if I catch myself resorting to them then I know what to do
L R Your gut will tell you when you are out of your comfort zone. It is the prime indicator and why we usually avoid acting on an idea.
Mel Robins 5 sec rule has helped me a lot in last one year. From striking a conversation with my dad to making a phone call to my friend, I have applied this rule enormous times. The good thing is as you start doing it, it becomes your habit to answer someone without hesitation , you start replying assertively. Though m yet to completely overcome this feeling of being stuck but m on it and it has helped me a lot .
Thanks Ma'am.
mel robbins has become my favorite personal development youtuber. Her energy is everything.
She’s like a mom to me i really needed to hear her words to become a better version of myself i love her
That was the longest Nike commercial I've ever seen.
LOL
I was thinking the same thing! XD
LMAO
Yes!
Cin Rose very smart comment ☺
If 11 million people were this unsatisfied 9 years ago .... just imagine 2020 😳
LITERALLY.
In USA
A billionaire said, "I do what you don't wanna do to be where you wanna be."
1. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
2. You're never going to feel like it
3. You are not fine
4. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change
5. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be
6. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE
@@andreribeiro7646 stop copying replies
I have noticed how silencing my emotions a little bit and truly listening word for word what someone has to say, how much easier and calmer the atmosphere is. Always listen completely before speaking.
-Come over and see ‘everybody worth a damn supports Amber Heard’
I finally watched this video, which was on my list for a long time.
One of the best TED Talks I've ever seen.
Great stuff!
She’s the kind of person i want to have as a friend when I’m feeling down. So straightforward.
True dat, her Enough is out of this world...
Isn’t she telling YOU to be that person? Perhaps you should watch this again.
Be your OWN FRIEND
Is what she would say
Woahhh how I wish Hahahahahah
I have a friend that is pretty straightforward... isn't it cool 😁
I am visiting this video again. The first time I watched it I was depressed in my old job. I felt burnout, super stagnant. I have always wanted to change to a new job, but did not have enough courage to do so because I feared instability. And one day I saw this, and I practiced the 5 second rule. I am today in my new job, with better pay, better environment. GLAD I FOUND THIS TEDTALK.
Lolo Lulu until you are fired
This is what I'm going through right now
Good for you Lolo I am proud of you. and you should feel proud of yourself too.
Ignore Kris, it's stories like your's that motivate us all.
That's awesome!
The “Just Do It” message combined with becoming responsible for your life is well presented. I call the force that keeps me stuck “Inertia”. Enjoyed
Everyone calls it that. That’s what inertia is.
Peck called it 'entropy' but anything i do from obligation is 'stuckness'...if done from commitment , love OMski
Needed this! I live in my head and stay scared to death of everything. I’ve created so many phobias that when I’m not working, I don’t want to be around people. I literally have panic attacks to go shopping in a big store. It takes all my energy to work in the public every day. I’m very passionate and great at working. I have so many goals, if I could just get out of the habit of pulling emergency brake. She’s so right about everything she said. Very enjoyable and encouraging. We need more people like this!
I feel your pain , I’ve been like this for 30 years. It’s something that never goes away, I just learn to manage it better. Running, meditation, prayer helps. Maybe get on antidepressant if you have too.
Three words that I learned that changed my life. Persistence overcomes resistance.
secondsunn Very very true, consistent action for long enough can change everything.
secondsunn so true!!
soldforfree Three words I learned from this video. Hot ass Milf
Ryan Davis Amen. But let's definitely remember that if you want to go after that, DONT HESITATE. #HomeWrecking
acgillespie Truth is... all the stupid people will believe she is smart and knows her stuff simple because she had happy *boobies* people today have been made to be stupid like this.
She just seems like a fun aunt... Idk
lmao, ikr. the type that gives you lots of money on your birthday, and takes you on spontaneous trips to disneyland
Yo she's my godmother
O...M...G...Change yer life...lol
Right! Aunt Mel!
I have an aunt exactly like this one! Upbeat, fun, positive, loving, etc!
Sadly I see her maybe once in 5 years or so...
5:05 - fine
6:16 - convinced yourself you’re fine without the things you want
8:59 - inner snooze button analogy
9:58 - in any area you want to change, this is the fact
Damn. This one hit the core. I have always wanted to start a digital business but the excuses I make hold me back and I don't feel like l’m living my life. This is a boost!! 🔥
She's so energetic, I went back to bed to rest in behalf of her
🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
She must’ve missed the Ted talk on the importance of sleep
😆😆🤣
😆😆🤣
Self-sabotage due to confusing emotions is probably by far why most people end up not achieving their full potential !
Smartest comment I've seen
It isn't them?!? It is me?
So true! We often confuse fear or uncomfortableness with a sign that we’re heading in the wrong direction if it it takes us out of our comfort zone.
Exactly!
Bro she’s hilarious I loved this. Genuinely learned a lot of hope to put her words into practice. Definitely a captivating speaker
Thank you so much, Mel! This is exactly what I need to hear right now. Really stuck with my current reality which I don't want to face. Sometimes when we feel stuck, we just need to act. Thanks so much for this 5-second tip!
I’m 80 , have Alzheimer’s, this lady has just blown my mind with this presentation .Thanks Mel , I love you .
mine too
good wishes for you
We love you best wishes
My wishes.
i hope u forget this watch it again and i get to see the same comment posted again
This is the last motivational video I'm watching for the next three months and I'm going to apply every last thing she said and see what happens. And I will be back.................
Rahul Saini looking forward to hear how it was
Rahul Saini PERSEVERE!!!!!!
same
Rahul Saini You're inspiring!!!
When you come back can you tell us how's it's been
*BEST PART FOR ME WAS*.
.."If you listen to HOW YOU FEEL..when it comes to WHAT YOU WANT...you Won't get it.....because you will never feel like it"
Listening to this while at the gym was so empowering
1. Press this number 9:14
2. Wait 2 seconds
3. Repeat the process
😂😂😂
Ahahahahahhahahaha
Ahahahahahahahaha
Yuki Hiraoka Fernández underrated
LMFAO
5 second rule - when you have an impulse, you must take physical action within 5 seconds, or your mind will hit the emergency brake (stop you from doing it/talk you out of it). So, the next time you have an impulse to do something (something positive of course), count down from 5 to 1 and then do it! Take action.
what about a 15 minute nap before that?
Very True.
If its for Allah and is a positive thing i would do it in less then 5 seconds, jk fbi dont come to my house your not invited LOL
@@paulgoogol2652 hahahaha, I was thinking the same :)
Crumpaloo this isn’t funny
When she spoke about the five second rule advice I opened a file on my phone and wrote down all the things I want to change about my life. Gonna be positive and believe that it will lead somewhere
I just moved out of my family for university study. It's hard to parent myself. But I will try my best to be who I should be.
My life has changed from this, goals have been achieved, I'm happier
What goals if you will like to elaborate
said nobody ever.
For real? !
Would you mind sharing a short story of what happened? 😀
Reading comments made me realize where not alone and most of us feel the same in life.
A.J. Nelson yes! And it’s a relief to me. I’m always screwing my self over in school and it makes me stressed and disappointed in myself.. but I realize that I’m not the only who is struggling with this or just other situations. Us people who are struggling are still trying to understand and learn how to manage things properly without any problems. Learn from it.
Yes, you're right.
Yes. Lets make some improvement
Came back to this Ted talk because I am stuck in life. I just bought a house and now live on my own for the first time. It's growth I never knew I would face. Now, I'm trying to study for a certification but I keep putting it off bc of how dreadful it is to study consistently for it for a YEAR because that's how long it could take on average. I am average. This talk helped me realize the motivation and why is the contributing factor to all my growth... I just remembered it thanks to this talk. Thank you.
All the times I listened to Tony and nothing clicked, then I watched this from 11 years ago and Bamn! Glad I stumbled across this
"I don't care about how you Feel, I care about what you Want!"
This quote has just stuck in my mind....
yah same
if we all adopt this mindset then no one will care about no one
Pioneer 37 ii
So good!
I don't 100 agree with that. Simple Example: I want to kill someone. So, should I ignore the feelings?
This is how a professional presents. She was focused on her audience, a thought I had well before she mentioned that everything she does is for you. Most presenters are so focused on their material or themselves they fail to remember they are presenting to people. Audiences can connect with Mel because she's real, wasn't trying to be the perfect presenter, and spoke in plain language.
But she needs wardrobe counseling
@@mathrodite i suppose it's her usual image, as u could notice she feels a quite confidently
I've watched many ted talks and i just came across this one this morning. Honestly a great way to start the day 🙏
I needed this right now. Thanks❤
This woman was born to public speak, Best TED talk I've seen in a while, I was engaged the entire time!!!
It was good at 1.5 and when I read your comment I realized it. She is so slow and grade school at real-time speed.
Her stats are true of every nub of corn. Yawn.
And life is. Life is competition. Life eats life. The order and safety of humanity eats all the other forms, killing the biosphere. Haha.
We won't change.
dreamervanroom Ok edgelord
I agree, this could have easily come across as preachy, like a few other TED talks unfortunately do. She is very engaging.
She has interesting information but is obnoxious in regards of look and character
Pavel baller Bro her character is what made this presentation interesting
Too little content for a 20 minute speech and too much showmanship but those little points are important. I am writing this for you guys so that you need not watch the whole video:
1) You will NEVER feel like doing what is needed to be done to achieve what you want.
2) So, FORCE yourself.
3) Next morning, set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier and then wake up against your will to go back to bed. This is the physical experience of activation energy you need to force yourself.
4) Your problem is not idea, it is your inaction. If you want to do something with an idea, do it within next five seconds( example- write it down, text it etc) If you don't, your idea will die in next 5 seconds.
That's pretty much it!
+M Hossain There is one more - if you want to do something, find someone who already did that and copy it. That's actually a good advice.
j
+M Hossain too late!... oh well..
Cool, thanks
+M Hossain Thanks! Didn't really care to watch it because of the excessive theatrics and was looking for this comment.
I've never seen Mel Robbins before, but she was simply spectacular.! Lots to think about here, and I feel like I need to hear this again to try to absorb it better. In fact, I'm going to use the 5 second rule and watch it again right now. Thankyou for this Mel.
I have watched many videos on social media and nothing motivated until I find it and this one is so lit. Thanks Mel
All I see here is hate comments, but I'm sure all those people hating are doing just fine.
+USB JACK actually with most of these ted talks people just put negative junk below----i stopped reading them (except this one---lol)
+USB JACK
Aaaand, that's my queue to scroll back up and not read any of these down here.
+USB JACK actually most people are they just don't realize it. Her main thesis is you should want more and be upset if you don't. I say you should want less, it is the best change I have made in my life. So I completely disagree with her.
fitnesspoint2006
I decided to go with:
Be thankful for what you have.
Acquire more as insurance for the future.
I don't see why I can't have my cake and eat it, too.
Why would I have a cake that I'm not going to eat? That's just silly.
manictiger because cake is not good for you.
"You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself."
Yes, therapy said to stop going around toxic pple that celebrate bootstrap approach is hurtful, hindering, invalidating, I wish Americans had a open discussion about accepting when people can't go on in pain, dsyrelgation, shared experiences don't mean I can make it. I send my ideas out to the world to prevent them from turning out like me. A failure to thrive diagnosis but youtube doesn't leave pple stuck.
No support system makes food, shelter and meds a constant struggle. Self parenting is a journey after some missed education to missed cues.
Best Ted talk I've heard. She's so cool, got me stuck from beginning to end
The fact that ive had these conversations with other people but never apply my own words to myself
Having worked in both mental health and philosophy for a while now, there's a lot with this video that's right, and a few things that make me wonder.
-- She's absolutely right that people often do tell themselves they're doing fine when living an unexamined life. Kierkegaard wrote extensively on this; people often do whatever societal messages tell them they ought to do, then reach a point of dread when they start to wonder if they've really lead the life they wanted all this while. It's not true for everyone of course.
-- On the other hand, it's important to discern what you have control over, and what you don't. Some of her examples are things a person may genuinely need to find peace with (and thus, just be "fine"). Mother's never going to change? It's not your job to change other people to fit your liking, so for this, you do need to be fine. Your kids might really be harmed by a divorce depending on the situation, so it might actually be best to stay married and sleep in different beds. If you lost your job and can barely pay your bills, it might actually be hard to get another job. Straining and struggling against these things under the impression that if you just struggle hard enough, you can change them, is only going to lead to greater suffering. "Have strength to change the things you can, grace to accept the things you cannot, and wisdom to know the difference."
-- Calculating the odds of you being alive sounds inspirational, but there's no causative relationship between odds and the state of being. Odds are calculated after the fact. If I flip a coin, we could talk about the odds of it being 50/50 on heads or tails, or the odds that I would, on this day, be standing there, flipping that particular coin, after all the world events throughout human history have transpired, bringing us to these astronomical numbers that may make us feel like we're almost the center of the universe. We don't then consider that literally every mundane thought and act can also fit those same odds. But if this makes you feel inspired, then go for it.
-- What it takes to inspire change, and the science behind why people procrastinate, is more complex than it's being made to sound here. What works for one person might not work for another. It's simply flawed to say "you're never going to feel like it". For some people, sleeping on a decision, or waiting a week, is really all it takes, and then they definitely feel like it (I'm one such person). For others they may need a commitment device, which is a sort of cue that people create for themselves to change or initiate a behavior (like putting a quarter into a jar each time you use profanity). For others, a simple act of initial determination, such as the speaker describes - getting up 30 minutes earlier and waking up immediately one single day - may be enough. Most people will, after that one day, fall back into the same routine, if other changes and commitment devices aren't set up as part of a holistic structural change.
-- Building on the above point: "Do you think anyone who needs to go on a diet ever feels like it??"
+Athena Brown, you certainly had to be a philosopher to critique her ideas as much as you did. I think the reason you disagree with some of her ideas is because some were brief and simplified that they may not have conveyed as intended.
For example, "you are never going to feel like it". I think this depends on how a person is wired, or the importance. I know some elite athletes who admit they never feel like training but they train even when they are sick - winning inspires them. I wake 5am to go the gym, not once do I ever feel like going, but I go any - I want to be healthy so I go. when I used to train gymnastics, I would train even when in pain, I wanted to get good. So, me, and these athletes can relate to this - if it matters, the "why" inspires, otherwise go by emotions. winning feels good, but doing what it takes to win can sometimes suck - some of us would endure to win and I think this is what she meant in saying "you are never going to feel like it".
Athena - that's pretty much what I think...
That's a great post Athena - I agree with what you said; though I did take away quite a few good things there were a couple points I disagreed with too - as you mentioned - thanks
none of this is right
You and her sound like a lost version of Choice Center in Vegas. Whenever one has TRULY examined their life they take inspired action. They are driven. You'd be surprised how often you feel like it when you're making lunar landings. Wanting to examine one's life is always good but few do yet think they have. Most everyone does either a self-directed version of it(books, lectures, seminars, and other spectator types of learning) or they do a more interactive version of examining their life but it's not experiential learning so it's never ingrained. People can read 50 books about blind spots(physically or mentally) and never know where theirs are yet they can drive around for just a few days and discover them all. If self-directed examination made any lasting difference then the planet could just listen to some Eckhart Tolle audio book and we're all in harmony but it doesn't work for the same reason you can sit on the beach for years(inside your comfort zone) and read every book and watch every documentary about the ocean and still not know the ocean except on some safe theoretical level.
A lot of people in the comments seem to be deeply examining her speech, but I'm going to take away the main lesson I learned.. That when I want something, I need to just go for it, and stop making excuses. At the end of the day, I don't want to regret not doing everything possible to live my dream life.
Sums it up
Amazing approach- I loved every minute of it! I was running miles listening to this and it pushed me to the fourth.
I am not fine but I want to change I just learned about Mel yesterday so glad I was introduced to her work