I recently lost my Mom and almost every day now I wish I was dead. You reminded me of something my Mom always told me to do. I went in the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and patted myself on the back and said "I'm so proud of you" it was like she was there and I cried and cried and after almost 2 years I think I finally started to heal. I am going to high 5 and the 5 second rule as well. I don't know if it is the same thing as what you do, but Mom always told me she was proud I was her son and that she loved me, NO MATTER WHAT! She called it an atta boy. She wanted me the best that I could be and that's how she encouraged me. I honor her and miss her so much. Thank you.
Learn the art of deep meditation, you'll be able to communicate with your mother. She will come to you in dreams too. She is still with you, now your VIP Angel, and seeing all of your achievements and no doubt so super proud! Sorry for your loss.
Your mom would be so proud of you right now...keep it up - by looking after yourself is the best thing you can do for your mom - she'll be smiling! Take care...
I know how you feel because I lost my Mom years ago and I thought the world was ending.I remember how friends and family helped me but was lost and cried most days.Please live your days in honor of Mom she is not present in the flesh but her spirit lives on and is proud of you.💙
I am 80 an have spent my entire life thinking… Thank You for reminding me that I am not too old… I can do this 5-4-3-2-1… habit. ♥️❤️♥️ ⭐️ STRAIGHT OUTTA TEXAS
Spoil alert (they talk far too long before getting to the point 👉🙄).. High Five Habit: At the start of each day, stand in front of the mirror and high-five yourself. Deliberately cheer yourself forward. 5 Second Rule: Works by counting backwards from five to one and then taking action. It helps people take the right course of action, instead of procrastinating or getting distracted by worry. By using this rule, people can gain courage and confidence to accomplish goals.
1:09 - on resistance - "every morning you drag your entire past into the bathroom with you". I laugh/cried at that truth!! At 76, I still know/carry that new girl in class being laughed at, that late bloomer being teased for not being "with it", that young wife being abused...stories ad nauseum. I appreciate the reminder that in spite of all that and also all my mistakes and shortcomings I AM worth it and I got this!! God bless ❤🙏❤
Wow, I’m sitting here crying. I think this is a game changer for me, after years of therapy not working , with hating what I saw in the mirror, years of trying to become another person . This has really got me at a root level . So much resonates.
In my prayers last evening, I prayed to begin to have a better life, change mindset, peace/happiness. I recently lost my mother to Covid. Lost my car, job, etc and my heart is broken and I am deflated. Literally perusing RUclips and found this video and just thought...hhmmm let me see what this is about. I was floored by the author, Mel Robbins, and the simplicity of her motivational messages. It makes simple sense to me and it works. She is flawed and have issues like the rest of us and admits it...no sugarcoating it. How rare is that. She takes no credit for it...again, how rare is that? Instead, she extends credit back to you (and applauds you) for making the simple effort to help yourself by the simple tools she provided. I was divinely lead to this message because I needed to be inspired/blessed. I am enamored at how God still uses ordinary and flawed people to help those in need. I thank God for her because she is a gift for me and all.
Hi , idk know if you will see this because you commented two months ago.I’m hoping your in a better place and have found some peace. I’ve come across some stories or channels that I never would’ve looked up and they end up being so helpful to me and almost like they are speaking directly to me so , I do believe that these stories find us be a we need to hear a certain message and also sometimes it helps a little to know others have experienced what you are going through. Many blessings to you. 🕯☮️💟🙏🏽❤️🩹🕊
I look in the mirror every morning, staring into my eyes I say, " I Love You. YOU are more than what I'm seeing in the mirror. " I brush my teeth..meditate for 1/2 hour and then pray for 1/2 hour. I was the youngest of 4 in a poor Hispanic family, surrounded by racists and sexists. I grew up codependent surrounded by Narcissists. It took me over 40 years to find myself, it happened when I got "grounded in God." 10 years later I was able to walk away from ALL the Narcissists in my life. PEACE IS PRICELESS AND IT'S THE PRICE JESUS PAID SO THAT WE MAY HAVE IT. May God Bless You all and set you free to be the best you can be for YOURSELF AND GOD 😉💞🙏.
I am so happy for you 💕👍🏻. I'm going to be 60 years old in 6 months and have been surrounded by people (family) that mean well, but are enormously toxic. Everything is NEGATIVE. they will find a way to turn a happy moment into sadness, every conversation will end up about someone dying, or with some kind of illness. And they are my siblings 🥺 How do I turn away from this. I'm suffering from depression n anxiety. I see a therapist, but she cannot understand the severalty of my surrounding. My children have isolated; and I can't blame them. In many ways, I'm glad they did. I don't want this atmosphere for them. I've try so many times to reach out for faith in God, to look at nature and find beauty, to surround myself with positive people. But It's as if inside I am all negative. I want to feel content with myself, I want to feel worthy of me! I don't know what to do anymore.
The other day, just two days ago, I came to the mirror in the gym and greeted myself. Thought, standing there at age 64 what a nice person I was. I about teared up and cried when she spoke about high five ing herself in the mirror. Bout time we all learn to love ourselves.
So true, I realized after breast cancer and a crushed pelvis no need to live serving others anymore I'm in chronic pain always and no pain killer other than my God. No dreams, only of going to the next place. Joy comes in the form of a 🐈 😻 🐈⬛ brings me such fulfillment and happiness.
@@Faithled Reba, God & Miracles are Real! Believe God Will heal you: “Prayer Success Recipe:” 1 Ask the Father; 2 For that which is Right, Good, Expedient Unto the Father; 3 Believing, knowing, having Faith; 4 In the Name of Jesus Christ. -------------------- You can Pray for whatsoever you will & it will be Given unto you! = Miracles will Happen!!!
You literally saved my life exactly 3 years ago. because of you, Mel Robbins, I was able to leave an abusive relationship in a country where I couldn’t call home because I was a stranger. Being single mom with 13 years old son being both abused with a stranger. Only listening to you on RUclips and counting 5,4,3,2,1 every day helped me to get through. THANK YOU amazing HUMAN BEING! 🙏♥️🙏
Mel are you a window peeper? I'm crying! Which window in my life did you look through? I've been so paralysed in my own head and in emotional, physical and financial distress. About to be evicted after 9 yrs, am 64 on a tenuous employment, no savings, no close family and centimetres from declaring bankruptcy. I needed to hear this. Thank you both Dr R for the introductionand Mel for your honesty. 🙏
As a "yes girl", I learned to say to myself when looking in the mirror, "Please say, 'no' to protect me. Say no. I need you to protect me. It's ok to say no without an explanation, because my inner peace is the priority to us."
I sooo struggled with saying no because of how I was raised. It took me over 50 years to say …. Thank you but that is not an option!!!! Very empowering!!!! You said no but didn’t say no!!! Try it. It is soooo life changing!!!! 💜🐝 🐛🦋🐛🦋🐛🦋
I've been watching this video and I simply have to say something. When I was 17 and attending Alateen, as the daughter of an alcoholic, I was told by my counselor to do this simple task daily.. I was to wake up and go to the bathroom mirror, look at myself and say... I LOVE YOU! As hard as it was, because I didn't really mean it, I continued to do this and before I knew it.... I DID begin to realize that I wasn't the problem and that I DID love myself. I believe this saved my life. I believe that this High-5 in the mirror works exactly the same. Good job Mel for bringing this out in to the open for people to reconnect with who they really are!!!!
I'm 62 years old, I have NEVER looked in the mirror enough that I cannot pick myself out of a picture of a group of people. I cannot tell you how hard this hit. I have a history of severe abuse, I realize I continued the abuse on myself long after my abusers were out of my life or dead
I was a horrendous procrastinator also. And I started listening to her and to David Goggins s and Jordan Peterson... The three have helped me enormously. I do the 5 second rule by Mel bunches and bunches of times, and the phrase what would Goggins do?
I am a teacher in Canada, and I started to do the 5 count with my students for transitions and listening and it works tremendously…life changing for teachers. Highly recommended.
Thank you, dear coleague! I will work as a teacher of spanisch in a sacondary high school again and I will use it too, not only for myself, tthank you!
I am fully stuck. I spend hours spinning my wheels and I accomplish very little. I had a devastating trauma and suffer from anxiety for the last three years. I want to move forward. I find you both very inspiring.
I’ve been spending months doing that! My life did a “180” in a very short time. 2021 has been VERY challenging! I’m ready to make positive changes in 2022! Hope things get better for you!
Been there & truly understand. After loosing my "baby" girl whom at the young age of 32 got a rare cancer called Carcinosarcoma. We are raising her heart broken daughter that at one week before her Birthday said Goodbye. I have been spinning upon a roller coaster. I have been where I lost focus and felt at a time I was at fault. Whenever I did I remember feeling while holding her arm & hand as she passed away her spirit leave her body. Then is when I know she is beside us & behind us pulling for us all to just keep trying. Her life was a blessing to all she touched & still touches. Please know that your loved ones both in heaven & on earth are & always will be here for you. My Dad always said How you spell can't = TRY #God Bless You #KeepOnTryin 🤗🥰👍
I really appreciate this, I needed your 5 second rule to get going today, Christmas Eve. And I did the mirror high 5. I lost my husband to Covid last month. The holidays are rough. I'm using the 5 second rule to get my ass in gear and make cookies for my 5 year old grandson. So Santa will have cookies, and the reindeer will have 🥕. Thanks for the 5 second rule, I'm off the couch.
I'm sending my condolences to you and empathy. In less than a year my husband passed, my mother and 2 friends. It absolutely took my breath away. But I had to start thinking about all I still had and know I'm blessed. I hope all good things for you and your precious grandchild.
@@AR-jo5vv train it little by little, 5,4,3,2,1, do anything for 5 minutes, get the trash outside, feed your cat, vaccume clean your livin room, cook something, do a phone call. Train it and becom a master! You can! You will! Go for it! Now!
I couldn’t wait to try this, when I got to bathroom mirror with two mirrors I did this “high five” thing five times switching mirrors. It gave me such a lift I couldn’t believe what a lift it gave me just seeing me smiling back at my self. Having just begun separating from a narcissistic relationship and I believe that this will help me and many others whom I’ve already shared with, thank you Mel, thank you Jesus
110-115 minutes in: addresses resistance to doing this in a powerful anecdote truly worth listening to. High-fiving yourself is powerful behavioral activation therapy by acting like a person who cares about yourself - and your brain is watching. It's an act of defiance and of forgiveness. Success is not the source of self-worth. This is a good habit to combat self-rejection.
I know what I need to do just on a daily basis, I'm old, I procrastinate, I'm having trouble just getting up! I look around my room and know what needs to be done, I just can't move to do it! My health is terrible but my mind wants to do so much yet I just can't start!
I'm 70 and I know the feeling so well! I'm going to 54321 myself to the bathroom mirror for a high-5 and listen to the rest of this well I do the simple chores we've got this!!! 😂❤🎉❤😂❤❤
I actually did this when I was younger. I hesitated and began developing a habit and eventually an addiction to procrastinating. Out of nowhere I literally said outloud 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I did it. And I began using this method from that period in my teens forward. I became and incredible person I never knew I could bc I held onto that habit.... Fast-forward through years of therapy and brokenness and pain, I lost sight of myself and who I was and what I could be. 💔😢 It almost ended my life. I recently heard Mel do a video and I heard THOSE VERY WORDS 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I suddenly remembered. I'm telling you man!!! God knows we need each other, we need people we know and don't know in our lives! Because I don't know Mel Robbins, but she reminded me of something I knew before that I knew helped and worked yet I lost sight of. No matter who you are YOUR wisdom in the experience you have can and will bless another! Words of the experienced. 💯🥰
Oh, God! That's the story of my life. I only take action when it comes to doing for others, and put aside my own needs and responsibilities, no matter what the circumstances or repercussions. I'm so stuck and by not doing the things I need to do, it's ended up costing me so much money and also my health. I hope I can change.
I’ve felt the same way for much of my life and have only started to change recently, I am still paying for much of the repercussions from my past but it’s never too late to change. I find it’s most useful in the mornings to listen to something inspiring like this and get going. If I can do that it sets a positive spiral where I trust myself and continue getting things done. It’s the days my self trust is low that I feel like giving up and can’t do anything. Wishing you so much luck on your journey
I just want to say Thanks! I find it very hard to talk about myself but I'll give it a try. I'm a 49 year old man and all my life I have felt the way you are talking about in this video. I don't like myself. I see myself as less than and not worthy of love, damaged gross, ugly... the list goes on and on. In my late 20s and early 30s I had worked so hard to get a job after another relationship ended. Unfortunately I always carry that weight of how I see myself and felt too much weight on my shoulders. I couldn't go to work and eventually I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Went through many years of being on medication and self isolation. I still struggle with seeing people and going outside and I'm almost 50 years old. While I was on long term disability from work - back in my 30s again - and had not retired yet It got so bad that my father intervened for me. I hated it but it was important. Cops came to my house which was neglected as much as myself. A complete disgusting mess, woke me banging on the door to take my to the hospital because I was believed to be a danger to myself... this was actually before I became suicidal. I had to retire early from working an my mid 30s because of my disabilities being so sever and to this day I still do not work. The way I see myself is huge failure. No matter how much people tell me how great I am as a person I don't believe it inside. My GP sent me to a therapist and I had seen many already that didn't help. This time was different. My therapist made a connection with me I think she notice how much I feared feelings. May not make sense what I'm saying but I became afraid to feel even good things. I would not allow myself to feel anything. The point is she broke through to me and made me smile and feel good. I didn't even consciously realize that I was trying so hard to not feel things. I was afraid of emotions. These days I'm getting by but It's still there. I still don't like myself enough and the point of my long story is I get what you are saying. I went to the mirror and felt it when I high fived. It's stupid but yes it works. It's only one day but you are on to something. I hope it continues and I can be nicer to myself. Thanks again and keep doing this great work!
Hello Krom, God and I are so very proud of your steadfast efforts, despite all the pain that you've gone through. God also appreciates that you're not a quitter. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, many people will be inspired by you and all that your battling. But keep taking one hour at a time with the Lord. And thank God you were directed to a helpful therapist. May God continue to bless you.
Thank you for sharing that! Going through things take its toll keep fighting every second every minute and know your more than that because God does. Your body is designed to overcome use your God given strength to overcome.
Its okay not to ne ok . Im pur defense this world has become very negative and overwhelming . A rat race. Than we got the asshle everywhere. Its not easy . Its not our fault. Some of us. Are juat more sensitive to what this world has become a chaotic ,crazy absurd no justice poliitical bull crap . To make ir worst peoole are not all people are nice . Aftwr the pandemic made things worat. ( love is not beuriful , we need to make it beuriful. My aunt rild me this in my firsr breakdown. . Now i to make my place a cozy happy one. I have good days bad days. Im thankful . It could be much worsrt. I lwt myself feel what needa to feel . Like tou mentioned be gentle . To ourselfs. . I was not always like this. I use to be laidback. I very sensitive to negative stuff.
Thank you for your words, Krom. I've been so beat down by the battle with anxiety and depression. It feels now like trying to rebuild from the ashes. I know about the self-imposed isolation, and the difficulty of trying to talk with people, and inability to make myself go out. I'm conscientious and hard working, but the workplace can be brutal, too. You inspire me! Never give up. You're courageous.
I am one of those "High functioning" people. I've been through hell and back many times over. I've decided it's time to rise from the ashes. I am the Phoenix. I think all survivors are.
When we're "stopped" in our lives, it's often due to fear, uncertainty, or deeply ingrained habits. Thanks, Dr. Rangan, for inviting and having a conversation with Mel Robbins, one of the most sought-after motivational speakers in the world. It was undoubtedly a great thing to watch.
I've been stuck and in a rut in and out in my life and l use to waste so much time watching and reading self help books. What l found most helpful is setting small goals for myself at first especially when l feel stuck. You can build up to bigger goals. Sometimes setting a goal can be as simple as getting out of bed and going for a walk that particular day. If you dream about going on holiday to the Caribbean or somewhere else then set a date when you want to go. Plan who you gonna go with. Research prices and hotels etc. You are activitly setting small goals to achieve a bigger goal. I also found setting boundaries very helpful and am still learning how to set boundaries with people so l don't get overwhelmed and stressed or upset. Also give your self permission to say No. I use to be a people pleaser mainly through my own in securities really. It was hard to say NO to people but it gets easier with practice.
A lot of the motivational speakers in the '90's whose events I have been blessed to attend would suggest that you/we/I look in the mirror and tell our person that we see that : "You are worthy. You deserve to be loved", and that you should love yourself. And I could not do it. I tried. Many times I would look in the mirror and start to do talk to the woman in the mirror and give her pep talks. I managed about 5 words. Another time, 3 words. A time after that, no words. I. COULD NOT LOOK into my own eyes. I dropped them instead and turned around and walked away. NEVER realizing until this conversation that I WAS TURNING MY BACK ON ME. I am overwhelmed with the realization of this to the point of tears forming. I don't even have words to describe how profound that realization is to me, and I have no words to how profoundly and deep this conversation resonates within me. I am SO grateful for the both of you and this particular podcast. Thank You.
You have described me with long term depression, codependency and crippling procrastination. I’ve made many changes in my life and have moved forward on many issues except my procrastination! I’m putting this in my morning routine and sharing this video with others I think would benefit.
Mel... because of you I’m finally making my apartment that I moved into in April 2021 look awesome. I DID NOT want to move here and just couldn’t get my stuff put away ; organize; decorate etc. I started watching your videos a couple of weeks ago and girl I am on a roll. I’m in an abusive marriage ( separated right now) as well. I feel I can handle that now as well...step by step. I can ask for help. Or get a good job somewhere else. Who knows. I can take the spiritual aspects of my personality and my hope toward God day by day with your techniques and move forward. Thank you, thank you soooo much ... Doc to you for having her on your Podcast.
I’m a retired PT and I watch MANY of your pod casts. I just want to say THANK YOU…. I pass them on to persons I feel they can help…you and your guests are a gift to this world… 🙏🙂
This is so crazy! I was on Reddit last week and somebody suggested Mel's rule. Then this video comes up. It sounds like the Universe wants me to use the 5 second rule. I have depression and ADHD, it means a lot to hear that Mel came up with the tool for all of us. I've been procrastinating doing a lot of things but, I KNOW I have to stop that. I'm so glad I stumbled across this video. Thank you both.
It's not the universe, it's the google bots spying on everything you do, see, and listen to on your computer and smartphone. Your smartphone listens to you even when you are not using it.
Oh my I AM SO taken by this !!!! I am eternally grateful for listening to my spirit tell me to click on you Mel !!! I started this morning with the high 5 & what I noticed NOTICED it’s an understatement bc what I felt was felt in every single cell bc I took the time to feel my amazing me, my compassion to me, I FELT my value!!! I broke into tears bc for the first time since my husbands death , I felt I deserve success I have tremendous value ALONE !!! Love you guys for giving us your time and these tools!!! 😘
My husband died almost three years ago. He left me with five children. He killed himself. It’s been so tough to continue on but we just have to DO it. I’m with you in spirit.
@@heatheral-hammadi3046that it heartbreaking but if you can find joy in moments of time thru the debilitating sadness that Permeates and by learning to dance in the rain you’re being the role model that’s gonna help your children one day when they go through a hardship.
@@heatheral-hammadi3046 my husband died in his sleep at age 49, unexpectedly in 2010 after 27+ years together & raising 4 kids plus others related to us who needed us bad at the time . He had blown thru over $150,000 in less than 6 weeks, I found out he hadn't paid the house note in 2 months, emptied my little checking account and had not paid utilities for 2 months. 6 weeks later the IRS came & said they were taking my house ( it only had 18 payments left on it to pay it off) to pay 256,000.00 in taxes owed to them, they claimed . I still don't know how I'm still walking here 13 years later , lol, but I made it through it all somehow with my kids, family, friends and God's great love. It was hell but I found out how to stop the house from being taken, they don't do that if you're disabled, it's your only home & you have no income so.... anyway I kept going my love for my kids kept me going looking out after them & I eventually got to a place I could forgive him . I think he knew he had bad heart disease & was dying & he about lost his mind, went wild.... he was only human so anyway, I just want to say, sometimes we are called to peace, things happen but we don't understand why, but if we keep letting love guide us, we will get there, get through it and come out changed, made stronger for it all . Find what you love and care about cause now you get to choose . May God guide you always when you are lost, He knows the way to go.
At 13:10, when Mel said that she was a "Very high functioning, screwed up human being", I laughed out LOUD AND HARD! Her honesty allows her to be so relatable. Thanks Mel!
I woke up this morning with one goal, focus on building the new me. I went to RUclips to find a meditation on motivation and this video was on the feed without even doing a search maybe because I had been listening to Mel Robbins lately. It was has been exactly what I needed to hear. An awakening and turning point. Thank you for sharing it!
My mom passed away 2years ago,my dad is in stage 4 lung cancer they where married 62 years I'm the third child of 8 siblings,our mom was the nucleus of our family the everything for everybody, I'm so praying that this video will help me help and heel my family!!! Thank you both for this beautiful video,my God bless you all
Also, make your face smile the moment you wake up and hold it in that position. Whether you feel it or not, this will cause physical/neural link that will influence your mental outlook.
You are encouraging me to move forward after this pandemic , I’ve felt so lost. Life isn’t the same and I haven’t known how to move forward, you’re the only person speaking to this time right now. Thank you Mel!
You sound like me only it wasn't only the pandemic we had looting and floods in Durban. I today started doing things that I have put off too long. I am 75 and refuse to give up. Nevs mom
I never spend 2+ hrs watching this kind of video, but I did today. This was great. Thanks so much. Now I know what I'll be doing with my next Audible credits!
I'm so grateful for this video and that it randomly popped up in my RUclips feed. Tonight I couldn't sleep because my mind and body were wide awake despite it being past midnight. I opened up RUclips to see if something could bore me into a restful state. I know that goes against all the things people recommend to help one fall asleep but that's where my thoughts were. I'm not sure what made me click on this video but I'm so glad I did. I have shared the link with two other people I know before I was even half way through the video because I know that if they'll make the time to watch this they can have a better life too. I'm now ready to get to bed but not because I was bored to death but because I feel relaxed, happy and hopeful about my future and about dealing with my day tomorrow. I'm ready to treat myself better and to see my life as choices I've made instead of things that have happened to me. I've been praying for months that I'll receive the tools I need to be better and receive the information on how to use them. I truly believe that watching this video is just the beginning to my prayers being answered. Thank you for making this available to so many people for free including myself. I deeply appreciate it.
I have a card on my mirror from myself to myself that reads: YOU'RE AMAZING! No one tells me that but me. I also look in the mirror and tell myself "I LOVE YOU!" I don't do it every day, but listening to this, I will now adopt this practice every morning. Thank you, Mel Robbins!
Everyone needs to know they are not alone. People who share their expertise the way you both do is such a blessing in the times we are living in now. Thank you. I am so happy to have found this podcast, and even though am not a young person I want to share this with everyone.
Can Mel please share her expertise on How to write a book.. What's the process... Who do you consult.. How many hours per day/week/month does it actually require. X
Wirh all due respect, Mel, some people are burned out, some people are ill, some people are chronically exhausted. We are not lazy. We are just very very tired.
Living a life unfulfilled is exhausting. Find things that light you up, give you energy. Free yoga vids. Swap a game or movie for something motivational that inspired and reminds you to write your own story. I know it sounds cheeky, but, with respect, there probably are a lot of people overcoming more difficult circumstances in this moment than we are. And if you don't want all those things that are tiring you to rob you off your energy, your REAL LIFE, get creative. not fancy. Just pick a little something. Something that reminds you that you have something inside you that desires real joy and true peace and what a windup thing to give just that little effort to to get started. and you have that magic 5 weddings over and over to choose this in. Just one tiny step and it's only a mountain until we take it, then it's a step behind us and we're headed the right direction. ❤
And I was offered an electric wheelchair that I would steer with my mouth less than 10 years ago bc the well qualified Dr believe I would need that within the year. I can now dance and jog at high altitude. One tiny step to start.
When she told us about her husband feeling like he didn't even deserve a fucking high-five...DAMN that hit hard! Tears pouring out of my eyes as I decided right then and there that I am making my husband do this. Because I know how worthless he feels. It breaks my heart to think about how many men in our society feel this way because they've been conditioned to judge themselves so damn hard! 😔 If any man that feels like this sees this comment, just know there is at least one person out there praying that you will feel loved and will love yourself.
@@marckzwol high five, brother! You got this! You are worth it! You are an amazing man to just admit that to yourself and now to toal strangers! That tells me you are about to change it for yourself. May God bless you with a vision for a brighter future and direction for the first little step to take now. ❤🙏❤
This is absolutely mind blowing, I’m experiencing a unbelievable spiritual experience Ive ever had in my life the last few weeks, I can’t believe this video popped up on my phone.. PERFECT TIMING I walked away from 100k job to release my stress and anxiety. I was mentally in a very bad place. Once I finally left the job I have been overly blessed with happiness, better health, and clearer and better decisions making. It’s truly mind blowing.. Can’t wait to share my story one day!!
I had similar situation. My shoulders would hurt everyday. After leaving that job, I realize my back and shoulder pain was stress Because it no longer hurts. Take care of "You".
Humility is the most beautiful quality and extremely rare! This is my first time seeing / hearing Mel! It s wonderful that you are empowering people to motivate themselves!!! Who wants the vanity of fame! Fame is just a stage of actors ! YOU ARE REAL!!! Thanks Mel and thanks doc for the amazing podcasts 🌹
It is like radical acceptance without needing to say , read or hear a single word. Thanks so much So many of us need this right now. Much love to you Mel x
This video was amazing and left me wanting more. I just turned 52 and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 48. Which is silly, if I have it now that means I was born with it. The problem with my generation is that girls weren’t diagnosed young like children are now. There’s a real epidemic of women in and around my age being diagnosed later in life that have no coping skills to deal with their new ADHD diagnosis. We are suffering now usually when peri- menopause begins, which is hard enough for any women. I am like most people with ADHD, I have a high IQ. I had learned to utilize my ADHD as my super power. Until one day it was like I went to sleep and woke up and suddenly it wasn’t my superpower, it was my kryptonite!! I was suddenly unable to concentrate, I was time blind, procrastinating about everything that didn’t excite me. I was getting distracted by something as simple as someone’s perfume in the other room. I could no longer concentrate or stay on task. I had multiple projects started and nothing done. I couldn’t reach my deadlines when just a few year’s prior, I did everything before the expected deadline. I’ve always had anxiety and depression but now, I was plummeting to new lows and fast. It had a profound effect over my life. It didn’t help matters that no one else could understand. I felt alone and lost with no where to turn. It’s impossible to explain this to a Neuro typical person. They assume we just need to practice mind over matter or we’re just giving up. They can’t understand why suddenly, you became this new person that can barely function. If I heard it once, I heard it a 1000 times, it’s just so weird how you were fine your whole life and now you’re barely functioning. Like I wanted an excuse to become like this and had to be looking for an easy or lazy way out. It was so much easier for them to think that I just decided to become a lazy person than to believe what was really happening! I’m talking about people who knew me for year’s. My ADHD was just an excuse to them and they were sick of it. I was losing friendships that I had for years with people who were precious to me.I lost 3 jobs in 2 years. I haven’t worked or looked for work since. I don’t have the guts to barely leave the house much less work. I’m going to be homeless at the end of this month over all this and I’m just so scared and lost. I don’t know what to do! This video may or may not be a Godsend but I’m going to try it! It won’t change my financial situation but maybe just maybe, I can learn to live and love myself.
Menopause changes a lot about us too. It was the end of my life long migraines and the end of my 14 hour sleep 'necessity' since I was 14. Changes are hard. Love yourself, because I do.
Its brave of you to say all this. Yeah..u were going at a good pace, then it gets altered by a few changes beyond your reach. I get it, having to move, new city, no supports. I pushed myself so hard. Just seemed to come up short no matter my attitude. My family cd not get the level of adapting, they are far away and thought I wasn't trying. Covid started, luckily I had a job. It became a tense scene, bosses became harried and not good w hearing the matters, clients matters. I felt I lost faith in the idea of supports. I kept working but hours were cut. Quit bc it was more effort for less pay. Crazy. I ve rested, spent time w son w Adhd. He s not motivated to do more than he is asked. I often got snarls, but I know it's wise to step out of comfort, reach out. Got counselling, worked on activities for my body, dancing, studying narcissism( old/ new friends). All sorts of people have odd ideas I would do anything w out question. I knew it wasn't all for me to Deal w children, entertain, be the free drop in center. I drew the line after being expected to do it On the spot. I love children, yet other parents attempted to Displace them onto me. It's not my Job to perform what other parents won't "think about/ act upon". A clash happened bc I said Enough. Truth is it was passive aggressive folks with no consideration of anyone else's Energy/ goals. Dropped that ball and They had to move out( problems build up bc no actions done by parents). Calm returned, I help seniors bc there is a great need. It's important, but I see there is not much support for carrying it out. Looking to drive for school busses. My son left after a hospital overnight( ER, foot pain I had). Son wanted attention 17, I had to run for medicine, make dinner after No sleep all night. No thought of how that wd be, he called me uncaring. Oof! He ran to ex, and ex won't accept an apology. Stressful bc I have to get a legal group to Hear this matter/ no option bc its in divorce agreement. I know no 1 is exempt from pain, but there s a strange expectation I never have any, I'm a machine and don't need anyone s consideration. Not balanced. So I have to plug into the help..to maybe have my son back. It's anxiety causing, I don't like this month of No one to care for. Friends, hardly can tell their timelines- looks like massive levels of Goal less days. I know I can order my day, just the distractions are not ideal, they don't Hear I need my days to go decently. Get irritation if I don't Give up my goals..thats v draining. Cut off naysayers bc they sabotage whatever ur heading to.
@@loripiontek Thank you very much! Menopause and ADHD for me is a lot of pinned up, unfocused energy, so sleep is out of the question for me. I feel like a gerbil on a wheel. I just go and go but I’m getting nowhere.I think my migraines are here to stay. I’m so happy you had some positive things happen for you. My positive that I take from this is a lot of the things I’m experiencing are comical, sometimes I get a good laugh. 💕
@@torriepenney936 You are brave for sharing, as well. I didn’t feel brave when I posted my comment. I felt desperate to be honest. I have a 19 year old son who is with me that is autistic. He’s high functioning but not high functioning enough to care for himself. So, I can truly empathize with your situation. I luckily have no issue with setting clear boundaries and it sounds like you figured out the importance of setting them the hard way. Good for you!!! I truly hope things work out for you! 💕
@@stacymorris2570 Good morning! I can relate to you so much! Courage for your journey! I am a single mom of 3 high functioning autistic kiddos💗💙💛 and a narc husband dying from Covid I have gone into my cubby hole. I also recently got diagnosed with ADHD so many things makes sense. I am so glad I saw this video and going to take the steps to get moving! I have faith in you! You have a friend in me.
I think the communication between Dr Chatterjee and Mel is very uplifting and positive and we do not see this as much as we should. As a doctor and seeing positive influences from wherever it may come from is good and not to be overlooked or frowned upon. The goal is to be supportive, helpful, uplifting and a positive motivation for those who come to us or are exposed to us. Great Show!
@ approximately 26:50 she explains the 5,4,3,2,1 rule and as soon as she said it refocuses the brain and disengages the negative thoughts/feelings... that's BRILLIANT! What an amazing strategy. At the beginning of the video, I couldn't imagine how counting backwards could possibly help. Boy, I'm going to try that. Logically, and knowing what I know about depression from personal experience, I have confidence this will be a game changer.
"matthewsbrrful", Another way to challenge negative thoughts and stress by INTERRUPTING them is self - hypnosis. My favourite is Michael Sealey : there are many "guided meditations" here on. RUclips. Same process as Mel's "54321" : gives you a rest from tension, and the more you listen, the better : your SUB-conscious mind 🦉 takes in the beneficial message. Best Wishes from England 😊🌈🇬🇧 🇬🇧🦉🌈😊💙🥀
I love her humility,,Mel doesnt get all egoic about her compliments from pple and pple approaching her, with their profound shifts ,this would be heady stuff for the average Jane,,and Mel is far from average ,,in my book shes a most influential woman on the planet right now,,and we all need her,,sending blessings and much light and love to Mel Robbnsi Thank-you !!!
I love Mel Robbins! She's so inspiring. I'm moving into my van this year to travel the world and work in film/tv and I love all the motivation that Mel Robbins puts out. Love and blessings!
It is wild that I’m watching this video right now. I literally had this experience last week where I stood in the mirror and “met” myself. It was wild. I realized in that moment that I had previously always been looking past myself, avoiding my reflection because I was on an autopilot of self rejection that started with my own image. Divine confirmation. Thank you Mel and Dr. Ragan. This was powerful.
this is one of the best & most profound podcast conversations I've ever listened to. why? because it's real, authentic and you both are on the level. you clearly both honor & respect each other, you both share deeply personal things about your own lives and as the host, you don't waste the listener's time with mindless chatter which many top casters seem to love to do. I love the very human aspect brought forth here and the feeling of empathy & compassion you both exude. so beautiful.
It is so important for all of us to learn to love ourselves 1st. That’s what this gesture does. It is a great assist for our mental and spiritual health.
That sounds a lot like all or nothing thinking...."all of us"? Some people love themselves so much that they genuinely believe they are above the rule and law of society and the social contract, and they feel entitled to special treatment because they perceive themselves as "special" and/or "unique". They believe this because their parents told them this when they were children...i.e. "We're better or different than "them". That goes hand in hand with an "us versus them" mentality. I could definitely could get on board with the fact that we "all" need to learn a HEALTHY degree/level of love for ourselves. There are pathological levels of self love out there, and that is the antithesis of healthy. There is a lot of "I'm special and entitled to special treatment or "I'm terminally unique...just call me a unicorn. Some people TRULY believe that, they're not just saying it in jest. Healthy self love....not the kind of self-love that is pathological and places you and your needs above the greater good, or places you "above" or "better than" others. There is already too much of that in the world, as it is.
Thank you for having this lady on. First time I have heard of her. She is delightful. I can't wait to read up on her more for her techniques. It is great to be able to relate to someone who has been there done that. Had life's failures and survived.
Me too, I’ve just found Mel what a fantastic lady. I can’t wait to read more about her. She’s so down to earth, and what a great interview 👍 Thank you 🙏
I’m so glad I came across this video, it actually brought me to happy tears. I lost my job in October 2021 because of something I refused to put in my body. I worked in the electrical industry for 25 years and just like that, it is gone. I’ve been eating up all my retirement money so at the age of 52 going on 53, I have to start all over again. I’ve lost two cats in less than a year, I live in a moldy mobile home that is doing wonders to my health and my cats health and I’ve gained an extreme amount of stress weight that makes me more tired than ever. I was physically and mentally abused by a former boyfriend that by the Grace of God decided to go back to his home state and live off his family instead of me. He stays in touch only to use me until he finds another person to take care of him. Anyway, out of the blue, a former boyfriend asked me to accompany him to Florida because he’d like to buy a house. At first I thought no way and then I said what do I have to lose? Being in the sun, getting in a pool and the ocean for a week has renewed my soul. My ex was a perfect gentleman and I’m not sure of his true intentions of taking me other than I’m not working and no one else would go but he helped me even thou he needs help himself. I got back yesterday and found this video while watching something my sister sent me. It’s like God or the universe is sending me tons of signs that it’s time to brush off the worry, stress, anxiety and hurt to finally get my act together. Thank you so much for continuing the words of encouragement in my head so I can get back to the person I used to be. I loved, I had visions of a better life, I was motivated and exercised a lot, I believed I would constantly better myself and then it all came to an end. I’m feeling good today and I’m so thankful that it makes me cry.
Wow you have been through a lot. I can relate. I know that feeling of loss. I am happy that we both came across this video! Know that you are not alone. I don’t know if you believe in the power of prayer, but it can’t hurt so I am including you in my prayers tonight. I wish you the best and I just know that you will find your way to something wonderful! Hugs
I sum wat understand wat you went threw. My son was murdered 3 yrs ago and gained around 100 pounds his father left cause he said I was too fat for him! I was so sad and it hurt so badly! But he's the 1 w/the issue I can change my weight & just move on w/ my life but we currently live together and he treats me so bad even though we are broken up I don't know wat to do at this point of my life. My car was jacked & I almost died that night the biy was gonna shoot me dead. I'm just thankful he didnt!☆
Ok ive been depreesed since i was a young girl like i remember trying to take my own life at 11 yrs old . Now im 58, and i tryed again just last sring almost succeeded. But i was brought back to life. Now i hear you talking to just me i will try this little steps. Thank you
Mell, besides your contributions to this society, besides your successes and everything else, what I love the most about yourself is your transparency. Thank you. That in itself is worth volumes. There is nothing more I value in a human being than their transparency. Thank you again.
Procrastination can be tiredness or what feels like tiredness, exhaustion. Long term tiredness can be due to depression which many people have in this cruel world. I like Mel's honesty ie she doesn't try to look like a genius superior to the rest of us. She realises that people including herself can stop being overwhelmed with a simple behaviour. I havent tried yet but i will
I love how raw she is and expressive she really has got life experience and science backed research that actually work.... I am so grateful for Rangan and his Guests!! Amazing 🙏🏽
A lad I know ,left school at 15 and two years later , having worked as a labourer on building projects, bought an old house . He did it up over 2 yrs, sold it ,bought2 more old homes , Lived in one as he did up the other . By 21 he had his first million . He's most fortunate , he's smart , fulfilled and a forward thinker , because he got free early in life . Worked hard , and his choices paid off . Cheers
If she was humble you would not have heard of her nor would she be booking seminars globally or making youtube videos! Understand that she is a Business woman who happened to be first and that is All, she is not a saint!
This video and the testimonies therein touched me so deeply. I was listening to it while I was putting on my makeup, Tears kept streaming down my cheek to the point I could not put on any more make-up until i could let the tears pass by. Thank you Dr Rangan and Mel for sharing these messages.
I am 61 and for years, when I just didn't feel like doing something, I have said aloud to myself, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go do it!" I still have to make sure I just do it right then and there, but it does make it easier.
I’m just 36:02 in on this my first time hearing both of these people. I’ve heard of Mel Robbins but never read one of her books before - I just ordered two of them. I appreciate that you both are acknowledging and appreciating alternative healing modalities outside of allopathic medicine. I have always been a firm believer in the body’s ability to heal. I also don’t think that just having letters after your name whether it be JD, MD, PhD or any others should automatically qualify you as having expertise or being an expert in any area. It just means you’re good at studying and passing an exam. It’s my firm belief that when you have an approach like Mel’s where you entrench yourself in the studying and practical application is where you make the difference for people and the world. Great podcast so far.
I am SO grateful I ran into this, esp at a time I’m at a low and need something simple that can get me *unstuck* . Even in the state I’m in, I believe I can do *one* thing a day! I don’t often comment on things like this bcs I over evaluate and feel the need for it to be perfect. Well, f-that, I am going to stop procrastinating preventing myself from living and just DO things.😂 I don’t care if this is an infomercial or whatever, *it would be selfish to NOT share this knowledge with others*!! This woman’s mind is absolutely brilliant!!! I believe God has made something great out of Mel, who was valiant enough to ACT on her thoughts and inspirations in a time she was at a LOW…feeling hateful and judgmental toward herself. Thank you, I am really serious, thank you for this.I *pray* those who need to see this message will run into it like I did. .
I once saw a video about a teacher who would give each student a high five every morning as they entered his classroom, and his students were doing very well.
I'm close to tears right now. I fell asleep with RUclips on and your video came on and entered my dream but it was 2 different people in the dream but you and mels real voice talking from the video. I hears the high 5 part but in the dream I heard something about thoughts affecting the nervous system and I said I need to speak to her maybe she can help me heal. Then I woke up and realised what happened. I woke up with paralysis In 2016 and I'm still not healed. I need to talk to Mel urgently
Wow! As I was doing my usual procrastination activity by watching videos about sewing, instead of actually going and sewing...when I opened RUclips to watch my sewing video, this video was right beside it and the title caught my attention, then I saw how long it was....I almost didn't open it! I decided to just listen a few minutes. Needless to say I watched the whole thing! I so wish I had known this growing up, but this is so helpful in this season as well! I am going to share this on my Facebook page and tag some teacher friends! I pray they will implement these techniques with the school kids, social media has put so much more pressure on kids today and their mental health is suffering! Thank you both and God bless you!!
I recently lost my Mom and almost every day now I wish I was dead. You reminded me of something my Mom always told me to do. I went in the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and patted myself on the back and said "I'm so proud of you" it was like she was there and I cried and cried and after almost 2 years I think I finally started to heal. I am going to high 5 and the 5 second rule as well. I don't know if it is the same thing as what you do, but Mom always told me she was proud I was her son and that she loved me, NO MATTER WHAT! She called it an atta boy. She wanted me the best that I could be and that's how she encouraged me. I honor her and miss her so much. Thank you.
Learn the art of deep meditation, you'll be able to communicate with your mother. She will come to you in dreams too. She is still with you, now your VIP Angel, and seeing all of your achievements and no doubt so super proud! Sorry for your loss.
This was beautiful 🙏🏾🙏🏾 I hope you’re ok and keep at it!
Your mom would be so proud of you right now...keep it up - by looking after yourself is the best thing you can do for your mom - she'll be smiling! Take care...
I know how you feel because I lost my Mom years ago and I thought the world was ending.I remember how friends and family helped me but was lost and cried most days.Please live your days in honor of Mom she is not present in the flesh but her spirit lives on and is proud of you.💙
@@queenb660 thank you
I’m 76 and I have spent a lifetime of not being enough. I maybe a little old but I am going to try this. Thank you.
Right behind you, and me too! You go!
Me too!!
I am 80 an have spent my entire life thinking… Thank You for reminding me that I am not too old… I can do this 5-4-3-2-1… habit. ♥️❤️♥️
⭐️ STRAIGHT OUTTA TEXAS
Excellent news
You’re never too old! Age really is just a number. I hope this high five habit has helped you❤
Spoil alert (they talk far too long before getting to the point 👉🙄)..
High Five Habit: At the start of each day, stand in front of the mirror and high-five yourself. Deliberately cheer yourself forward.
5 Second Rule: Works by counting backwards from five to one and then taking action. It helps people take the right course of action, instead of procrastinating or getting distracted by worry. By using this rule, people can gain courage and confidence to accomplish goals.
The comment I was looking for
Thank you 😊
Thank you
Thank you for this.
Thank you for this
Thank you
1:09 - on resistance - "every morning you drag your entire past into the bathroom with you". I laugh/cried at that truth!! At 76, I still know/carry that new girl in class being laughed at, that late bloomer being teased for not being "with it", that young wife being abused...stories ad nauseum. I appreciate the reminder that in spite of all that and also all my mistakes and shortcomings I AM worth it and I got this!! God bless ❤🙏❤
Wow, I’m sitting here crying. I think this is a game changer for me, after years of therapy not working , with hating what I saw in the mirror, years of trying to become another person . This has really got me at a root level . So much resonates.
In my prayers last evening, I prayed to begin to have a better life, change mindset, peace/happiness. I recently lost my mother to Covid. Lost my car, job, etc and my heart is broken and I am deflated. Literally perusing RUclips and found this video and just thought...hhmmm let me see what this is about. I was floored by the author, Mel Robbins, and the simplicity of her motivational messages. It makes simple sense to me and it works. She is flawed and have issues like the rest of us and admits it...no sugarcoating it. How rare is that. She takes no credit for it...again, how rare is that? Instead, she extends credit back to you (and applauds you) for making the simple effort to help yourself by the simple tools she provided. I was divinely lead to this message because I needed to be inspired/blessed. I am enamored at how God still uses ordinary and flawed people to help those in need. I thank God for her because she is a gift for me and all.
Same boat today…. Keep me in prayer- because the hardest thing for me is cutting through it to talk to others when I’m not sure what to say.
Sorry for your loss. I was once on a place like you. I am glad these days we have YT and you could find Mel to help you through.
My condolences 💐 I pray that you all are able to regain everything you lost with a sense of peace.
Praying for you to have God's true peace in this world....Just read this in the Bible this morning...John 16:33.
Hi , idk know if you will see this because you commented two months ago.I’m hoping your in a better place and have found some peace. I’ve come across some stories or channels that I never would’ve looked up and they end up being so helpful to me and almost like they are speaking directly to me so , I do believe that these stories find us be a we need to hear a certain message and also sometimes it helps a little to know others have experienced what you are going through. Many blessings to you. 🕯☮️💟🙏🏽❤️🩹🕊
I look in the mirror every morning, staring into my eyes I say, " I Love You. YOU are more than what I'm seeing in the mirror. " I brush my teeth..meditate for 1/2 hour and then pray for 1/2 hour. I was the youngest of 4 in a poor Hispanic family, surrounded by racists and sexists. I grew up codependent surrounded by Narcissists. It took me over 40 years to find myself, it happened when I got "grounded in God." 10 years later I was able to walk away from ALL the Narcissists in my life. PEACE IS PRICELESS AND IT'S THE PRICE JESUS PAID SO THAT WE MAY HAVE IT.
May God Bless You all and set you free to be the best you can be for YOURSELF AND GOD 😉💞🙏.
God bless you. I understand exactly what you are saying.
I completely agree. Also cut contact from narcissists in my family and have more peace and time prayer an meditation and dealing with my codependency
Wow...you are inspiring! ❤
I’m so happy for you 🌹🇸🇪
I am so happy for you 💕👍🏻. I'm going to be 60 years old in 6 months and have been surrounded by people (family) that mean well, but are enormously toxic. Everything is NEGATIVE. they will find a way to turn a happy moment into sadness, every conversation will end up about someone dying, or with some kind of illness. And they are my siblings 🥺 How do I turn away from this. I'm suffering from depression n anxiety. I see a therapist, but she cannot understand the severalty of my surrounding. My children have isolated; and I can't blame them. In many ways, I'm glad they did. I don't want this atmosphere for them. I've try so many times to reach out for faith in God, to look at nature and find beauty, to surround myself with positive people. But It's as if inside I am all negative. I want to feel content with myself, I want to feel worthy of me! I don't know what to do anymore.
The other day, just two days ago, I came to the mirror in the gym and greeted myself. Thought, standing there at age 64 what a nice person I was. I about teared up and cried when she spoke about high five ing herself in the mirror. Bout time we all learn to love ourselves.
64 ?? I just went to your channel you look amazing!!!!!!
Thank you for getting me out of bed!!
Yes it's about time we should all love ourselves more 💖
So true, I realized after breast cancer and a crushed pelvis no need to live serving others anymore I'm in chronic pain always and no pain killer other than my God. No dreams, only of going to the next place. Joy comes in the form of a 🐈 😻 🐈⬛ brings me such fulfillment and happiness.
@@Faithled Reba, God & Miracles are Real! Believe God Will heal you: “Prayer Success Recipe:”
1 Ask the Father;
2 For that which is Right, Good,
Expedient Unto the Father;
3 Believing, knowing, having Faith;
4 In the Name of Jesus Christ.
--------------------
You can Pray for whatsoever you will & it will be Given unto you!
= Miracles will Happen!!!
She is an amazing advisor, therapist and human being. We need more of her in this world.
Mel seems like one of us. She meets us as an equal, not someone who dictates from on high. Thank you for giving so many of us the courage to change.
You literally saved my life exactly 3 years ago. because of you, Mel Robbins, I was able to leave an abusive relationship in a country where I couldn’t call home because I was a stranger. Being single mom with 13 years old son being both abused with a stranger. Only listening to you on RUclips and counting 5,4,3,2,1 every day helped me to get through. THANK YOU amazing HUMAN BEING! 🙏♥️🙏
💜 I hope you and your son have a beautiful life bless you
🧡 well done xxx
Smaranda you are awesome! God bless you.
Thank goodness you found the courage via Mel!
She’s so down to earth! Would love to meet her one day!
@@katcat5088 :)
Mel are you a window peeper? I'm crying! Which window in my life did you look through? I've been so paralysed in my own head and in emotional, physical and financial distress. About to be evicted after 9 yrs, am 64 on a tenuous employment, no savings, no close family and centimetres from declaring bankruptcy. I needed to hear this. Thank you both Dr R for the introductionand Mel for your honesty. 🙏
I hope everything works out for you, be blessed
As a "yes girl", I learned to say to myself when looking in the mirror, "Please say, 'no' to protect me. Say no. I need you to protect me. It's ok to say no without an explanation, because my inner peace is the priority to us."
Yes, I'm learning that saying no to others, is saying yes to myself.
I understand that to my core.
I sooo struggled with saying no because of how I was raised. It took me over 50 years to say …. Thank you but that is not an option!!!! Very empowering!!!! You said no but didn’t say no!!! Try it. It is soooo life changing!!!!
💜🐝
🐛🦋🐛🦋🐛🦋
Love this💖💖
What this lady says is absolutely CORRECT, we know the solution to our chronic problems but we just keep on thinking and will not act
I've been watching this video and I simply have to say something. When I was 17 and attending Alateen, as the daughter of an alcoholic, I was told by my counselor to do this simple task daily.. I was to wake up and go to the bathroom mirror, look at myself and say... I LOVE YOU! As hard as it was, because I didn't really mean it, I continued to do this and before I knew it.... I DID begin to realize that I wasn't the problem and that I DID love myself. I believe this saved my life.
I believe that this High-5 in the mirror works exactly the same. Good job Mel for bringing this out in to the open for people to reconnect with who they really are!!!!
I'm 62 years old, I have NEVER looked in the mirror enough that I cannot pick myself out of a picture of a group of people. I cannot tell you how hard this hit. I have a history of severe abuse, I realize I continued the abuse on myself long after my abusers were out of my life or dead
You are healing and growing ❤️❤️❤️ Soon you will be smiling at yourself in the mirror 🙏🙏🙏 You will get there.
Yes, it doesn't matter how long they may have been dead, as long as they are still living in your head. I hope her methods help you. 💟
Hi 👋 Friend, can I talk to you for a moment?
Can relate!
You are in my heart.
I am a procrastinator and a thinker. Thank you for all your help!
Hey is it working?
I was a horrendous procrastinator also. And I started listening to her and to David Goggins s and Jordan Peterson... The three have helped me enormously. I do the 5 second rule by Mel bunches and bunches of times, and the phrase what would Goggins do?
Me 2!!!
Me too 😫
Me too 😢
Confidence is the "willingness to try." I love that.
I am a teacher in Canada, and I started to do the 5 count with my students for transitions and listening and it works tremendously…life changing for teachers. Highly recommended.
Thank you, dear coleague! I will work as a teacher of spanisch in a sacondary high school again and I will use it too, not only for myself, tthank you!
@@EvaKumova the way u spelled spanish and secondary should get you kicked back to highschool learning spelling correctly
Very good idea 💡, I will apply it too in my classroom thanks for sharing.
I use this as well. I'm teaching in China haha i have 50 students
I love how genuine Mel is. She truly is an open book. I definitely respect that. Not ashamed at all.
I am fully stuck. I spend hours spinning my wheels and I accomplish very little. I had a devastating trauma and suffer from anxiety for the last three years. I want to move forward. I find you both very inspiring.
You’re not alone Ana. Keep going, you’re worth it!
Pray keep fighting. It gets hard but your harder!
I’ve been spending months doing that! My life did a “180” in a very short time. 2021 has been VERY challenging! I’m ready to make positive changes in 2022! Hope things get better for you!
I hear you, I feel your pain, I know your pain.. I feel the same way. My prayers 🙏 are with you. You're not alone ♥
Been there & truly understand. After loosing my "baby" girl whom at the young age of 32 got a rare cancer called Carcinosarcoma. We are raising her heart broken daughter that at one week before her Birthday said Goodbye. I have been spinning upon a roller coaster. I have been where I lost focus and felt at a time I was at fault. Whenever I did I remember feeling while holding her arm & hand as she passed away her spirit leave her body. Then is when I know she is beside us & behind us pulling for us all to just keep trying. Her life was a blessing to all she touched & still touches. Please know that your loved ones both in heaven & on earth are & always will be here for you. My Dad always said How you spell can't = TRY #God Bless You #KeepOnTryin 🤗🥰👍
I really appreciate this, I needed your 5 second rule to get going today, Christmas Eve. And I did the mirror high 5. I lost my husband to Covid last month. The holidays are rough. I'm using the 5 second rule to get my ass in gear and make cookies for my 5 year old grandson. So Santa will have cookies, and the reindeer will have 🥕. Thanks for the 5 second rule, I'm off the couch.
I'm sending my condolences to you and empathy. In less than a year my husband passed, my mother and 2 friends. It absolutely took my breath away. But I had to start thinking about all I still had and know I'm blessed. I hope all good things for you and your precious grandchild.
God bless you, may Jesus give you the hope of heaven. ❤️
Jesus is hurting with you sorry to hear of your loss I will say a prayer for you ,God bless.
Hug from me Cherie
@@dfattyadams123 a big hug from me too 🥰
*”You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius*
@@AR-jo5vv train it little by little, 5,4,3,2,1, do anything for 5 minutes, get the trash outside, feed your cat, vaccume clean your livin room, cook something, do a phone call. Train it and becom a master!
You can! You will! Go for it! Now!
The way she controls this interview is amazing 🤩
I couldn’t wait to try this, when I got to bathroom mirror with two mirrors I did this “high five” thing five times switching mirrors.
It gave me such a lift
I couldn’t believe what a lift it gave me just seeing me smiling back at my self.
Having just begun separating from a narcissistic relationship and I believe that this will help me and many others whom I’ve already shared with, thank you Mel, thank you Jesus
110-115 minutes in: addresses resistance to doing this in a powerful anecdote truly worth listening to. High-fiving yourself is powerful behavioral activation therapy by acting like a person who cares about yourself - and your brain is watching. It's an act of defiance and of forgiveness. Success is not the source of self-worth. This is a good habit to combat self-rejection.
Thank you for this. I wouldn't have ever made it to this crucial part of the video without you!
@Leanne Comerford
Mel Robbins ……….first time I am hearing and seeing you. I am intrigued and must here more !
Mel is relatable because she is so freaking REAL!!! Yes, she is human! 👋
Did she have a talk show at one time? She's the real deal 💯💯💯💯
I know what I need to do just on a daily basis, I'm old, I procrastinate, I'm having trouble just getting up! I look around my room and know what needs to be done, I just can't move to do it! My health is terrible but my mind wants to do so much yet I just can't start!
Exactly what I have felt
I am on the same place..exactly.
I'm 70 and I know the feeling so well! I'm going to 54321 myself to the bathroom mirror for a high-5 and listen to the rest of this well I do the simple chores we've got this!!! 😂❤🎉❤😂❤❤
I actually did this when I was younger. I hesitated and began developing a habit and eventually an addiction to procrastinating.
Out of nowhere I literally said outloud 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I did it. And I began using this method from that period in my teens forward. I became and incredible person I never knew I could bc I held onto that habit....
Fast-forward through years of therapy and brokenness and pain, I lost sight of myself and who I was and what I could be. 💔😢 It almost ended my life. I recently heard Mel do a video and I heard THOSE VERY WORDS 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I suddenly remembered.
I'm telling you man!!! God knows we need each other, we need people we know and don't know in our lives! Because I don't know Mel Robbins, but she reminded me of something I knew before that I knew helped and worked yet I lost sight of.
No matter who you are YOUR wisdom in the experience you have can and will bless another!
Words of the experienced. 💯🥰
I feel the the depth in this. ..❤
"You know what you need to do." This is SO TRUE.
Oh, God! That's the story of my life. I only take action when it comes to doing for others, and put aside my own needs and responsibilities, no matter what the circumstances or repercussions. I'm so stuck and by not doing the things I need to do, it's ended up costing me so much money and also my health. I hope I can change.
I here you your not alone, I have done the same.
Same here. I believe the extremeties of life . Can get heavy
Mine asked me if I would speak to others as harshly as I speak to myself.
@@justjosie8963 Good Point I constantly berate myself.
I’ve felt the same way for much of my life and have only started to change recently, I am still paying for much of the repercussions from my past but it’s never too late to change. I find it’s most useful in the mornings to listen to something inspiring like this and get going. If I can do that it sets a positive spiral where I trust myself and continue getting things done. It’s the days my self trust is low that I feel like giving up and can’t do anything. Wishing you so much luck on your journey
I just want to say Thanks! I find it very hard to talk about myself but I'll give it a try.
I'm a 49 year old man and all my life I have felt the way you are talking about in this video. I don't like myself. I see myself as less than and not worthy of love, damaged gross, ugly... the list goes on and on.
In my late 20s and early 30s I had worked so hard to get a job after another relationship ended. Unfortunately I always carry that weight of how I see myself and felt too much weight on my shoulders. I couldn't go to work and eventually I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Went through many years of being on medication and self isolation.
I still struggle with seeing people and going outside and I'm almost 50 years old.
While I was on long term disability from work - back in my 30s again - and had not retired yet It got so bad that my father intervened for me. I hated it but it was important. Cops came to my house which was neglected as much as myself. A complete disgusting mess, woke me banging on the door to take my to the hospital because I was believed to be a danger to myself... this was actually before I became suicidal.
I had to retire early from working an my mid 30s because of my disabilities being so sever and to this day I still do not work. The way I see myself is huge failure. No matter how much people tell me how great I am as a person I don't believe it inside.
My GP sent me to a therapist and I had seen many already that didn't help. This time was different. My therapist made a connection with me I think she notice how much I feared feelings. May not make sense what I'm saying but I became afraid to feel even good things. I would not allow myself to feel anything. The point is she broke through to me and made me smile and feel good. I didn't even consciously realize that I was trying so hard to not feel things. I was afraid of emotions.
These days I'm getting by but It's still there. I still don't like myself enough and the point of my long story is I get what you are saying. I went to the mirror and felt it when I high fived. It's stupid but yes it works. It's only one day but you are on to something. I hope it continues and I can be nicer to myself.
Thanks again and keep doing this great work!
Hello Krom, God and I are so very proud of your steadfast efforts, despite all the pain that you've gone through. God also appreciates that you're not a quitter. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, many people will be inspired by you and all that your battling. But keep taking one hour at a time with the Lord.
And thank God you were directed to a helpful therapist.
May God continue to bless you.
Thank you for sharing that! Going through things take its toll keep fighting every second every minute and know your more than that because God does. Your body is designed to overcome use your God given strength to overcome.
Its okay not to ne ok . Im pur defense this world has become very negative and overwhelming . A rat race. Than we got the asshle everywhere. Its not easy . Its not our fault. Some of us. Are juat more sensitive to what this world has become a chaotic ,crazy absurd no justice poliitical bull crap . To make ir worst peoole are not all people are nice . Aftwr the pandemic made things worat. ( love is not beuriful , we need to make it beuriful. My aunt rild me this in my firsr breakdown. . Now i to make my place a cozy happy one. I have good days bad days. Im thankful . It could be much worsrt. I lwt myself feel what needa to feel . Like tou mentioned be gentle . To ourselfs. . I was not always like this. I use to be laidback. I very sensitive to negative stuff.
Keep trying Krom. 🖐
Thank you for your words, Krom.
I've been so beat down by the battle with anxiety and depression.
It feels now like trying to rebuild from the ashes. I know about the self-imposed isolation, and the difficulty of trying to talk with people, and inability to make myself go out.
I'm conscientious and hard working, but the workplace can be brutal, too.
You inspire me!
Never give up.
You're courageous.
I am one of those "High functioning" people. I've been through hell and back many times over. I've decided it's time to rise from the ashes. I am the Phoenix. I think all survivors are.
When we're "stopped" in our lives, it's often due to fear, uncertainty, or deeply ingrained habits. Thanks, Dr. Rangan, for inviting and having a conversation with Mel Robbins, one of the most sought-after motivational speakers in the world. It was undoubtedly a great thing to watch.
Thank you so much. I never look in the mirror. I'm 55 and have 4 children and just beat down. You don't know how much this helped me.
I've been stuck and in a rut in and out in my life and l use to waste so much time watching and reading self help books.
What l found most helpful is setting small goals for myself at first especially when l feel stuck.
You can build up to bigger goals.
Sometimes setting a goal can be as simple as getting out of bed and going for a walk that particular day.
If you dream about going on holiday to the Caribbean or somewhere else then set a date when you want to go.
Plan who you gonna go with.
Research prices and hotels etc.
You are activitly setting small goals to achieve a bigger goal.
I also found setting boundaries very helpful and am still learning how to set boundaries with people so l don't get overwhelmed and stressed or upset.
Also give your self permission to say No.
I use to be a people pleaser mainly through my own in securities really.
It was hard to say NO to people but it gets easier with practice.
Hi 👋 Rita, can I talk to you for a moment?
Wow! Never heard of Mel Robbins OR Dr. Chatterjee before, but she completely described me in 5 minutes! FOLLOWING!!!
A lot of the motivational speakers in the '90's whose events I have been blessed to attend would suggest that you/we/I look in the mirror and tell our person that we see that : "You are worthy. You deserve to be loved", and that you should love yourself. And I could not do it. I tried. Many times I would look in the mirror and start to do talk to the woman in the mirror and give her pep talks. I managed about 5 words. Another time, 3 words. A time after that, no words. I. COULD NOT LOOK into my own eyes. I dropped them instead and turned around and walked away. NEVER realizing until this conversation that I WAS TURNING MY BACK ON ME. I am overwhelmed with the realization of this to the point of tears forming. I don't even have words to describe how profound that realization is to me, and I have no words to how profoundly and deep this conversation resonates within me. I am SO grateful for the both of you and this particular podcast. Thank You.
I like that “finding our way back home to ourself”
You have described me with long term depression, codependency and crippling procrastination. I’ve made many changes in my life and have moved forward on many issues except my procrastination! I’m putting this in my morning routine and sharing this video with others I think would benefit.
I was quite the procrastinator also and hated it. She has helped me bunches. Good luck to you.
@@AdventureHorseRidinginNYSI use the 5 count but I watched her show & videos & finally realized thats the only helpful thing she has to offer
@@marshawalker5273 that 54321 I use bunches and bunches 🙂
"Success is not the source of self love."
Powerful video. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Yeah! Agreed! That's so backwards.
Mel... because of you I’m finally making my apartment that I moved into in April 2021 look awesome. I DID NOT want to move here and just couldn’t get my stuff put away ; organize; decorate etc. I started watching your videos a couple of weeks ago and girl I am on a roll. I’m in an abusive marriage ( separated right now) as well. I feel I can handle that now as well...step by step. I can ask for help. Or get a good job somewhere else. Who knows. I can take the spiritual aspects of my personality and my hope toward God day by day with your techniques and move forward. Thank you, thank you soooo much ... Doc to you for having her on your Podcast.
I’m a retired PT and I watch MANY of your pod casts. I just want to say THANK YOU…. I pass them on to persons I feel they can help…you and your guests are a gift to this world… 🙏🙂
She is correct about her voice not being annoying. First thing I thought to myself when I tuned in, I can actually listen to her. So I did. Good one.
This was absolutely worth all 2 hours 20 mins and 22 seconds !! Love it so much thank you !!!!!!!!!
This is so crazy! I was on Reddit last week and somebody suggested Mel's rule. Then this video comes up. It sounds like the Universe wants me to use the 5 second rule. I have depression and ADHD, it means a lot to hear that Mel came up with the tool for all of us. I've been procrastinating doing a lot of things but, I KNOW I have to stop that. I'm so glad I stumbled across this video. Thank you both.
Praying for all those with anxiety, depression and adhd
It's not the universe, it's the google bots spying on everything you do, see, and listen to on your computer and smartphone. Your smartphone listens to you even when you are not using it.
You are not alone. How is this working for you?
All is right, but not universe, just meta algorithms
@@uliumi982 aaahhh, but it IS the universe....just a different kinda universe! ;)
Oh my I AM SO taken by this !!!! I am eternally grateful for listening to my spirit tell me to click on you Mel !!! I started this morning with the high 5 & what I noticed NOTICED it’s an understatement bc what I felt was felt in every single cell bc I took the time to feel my amazing me, my compassion to me, I FELT my value!!! I broke into tears bc for the first time since my husbands death , I felt I deserve success I have tremendous value ALONE !!! Love you guys for giving us your time and these tools!!! 😘
My husband died almost three years ago. He left me with five children. He killed himself. It’s been so tough to continue on but we just have to DO it. I’m with you in spirit.
@@heatheral-hammadi3046that it heartbreaking but if you can find joy in moments of time thru the debilitating sadness that Permeates and by learning to dance in the rain you’re being the role model that’s gonna help your children one day when they go through a hardship.
@@heatheral-hammadi3046 my husband died in his sleep at age 49, unexpectedly in 2010 after 27+ years together & raising 4 kids plus others related to us who needed us bad at the time . He had blown thru over $150,000 in less than 6 weeks, I found out he hadn't paid the house note in 2 months, emptied my little checking account and had not paid utilities for 2 months. 6 weeks later the IRS came & said they were taking my house ( it only had 18 payments left on it to pay it off) to pay 256,000.00 in taxes owed to them, they claimed . I still don't know how I'm still walking here 13 years later , lol, but I made it through it all somehow with my kids, family, friends and God's great love. It was hell but I found out how to stop the house from being taken, they don't do that if you're disabled, it's your only home & you have no income so.... anyway I kept going my love for my kids kept me going looking out after them & I eventually got to a place I could forgive him . I think he knew he had bad heart disease & was dying & he about lost his mind, went wild.... he was only human so anyway, I just want to say, sometimes we are called to peace, things happen but we don't understand why, but if we keep letting love guide us, we will get there, get through it and come out changed, made stronger for it all . Find what you love and care about cause now you get to choose . May God guide you always when you are lost, He knows the way to go.
At 13:10, when Mel said that she was a "Very high functioning, screwed up human being", I laughed out LOUD AND HARD! Her honesty allows her to be so relatable. Thanks Mel!
I woke up this morning with one goal, focus on building the new me. I went to RUclips to find a meditation on motivation and this video was on the feed without even doing a search maybe because I had been listening to Mel Robbins lately. It was has been exactly what I needed to hear. An awakening and turning point. Thank you for sharing it!
Im curious.. How is it going on building your new you?☺️
My mom passed away 2years ago,my dad is in stage 4 lung cancer they where married 62 years I'm the third child of 8 siblings,our mom was the nucleus of our family the everything for everybody, I'm so praying that this video will help me help and heel my family!!! Thank you both for this beautiful video,my God bless you all
@@maryannanderson5964thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope, deeply sorry for your loss, so proud of you and grateful❤❤❤❤
Also, make your face smile the moment you wake up and hold it in that position. Whether you feel it or not, this will cause physical/neural link that will influence your mental outlook.
clapping a few times, too! 😁👏😁
@@judymiller5154really 🥺?
Mel you still deserve some of the credit. You gave us the step that was needed to help us help ourselves. Rock on Girl!
Oh yes, Mel. Your voice is PERFECT 🌿
You are encouraging me to move forward after this pandemic , I’ve felt so lost. Life isn’t the same and I haven’t known how to move forward, you’re the only person speaking to this time right now. Thank you Mel!
You sound like me only it wasn't only the pandemic we had looting and floods in Durban. I today started doing things that I have put off too long. I am 75 and refuse to give up. Nevs mom
What's a pandemic though?
@@greymetamorphosis Really? Oh I don’t know what the whole planet just went through. If you don’t want to acknowledge it that’s your deal not mine.
@@nattyznook No I'm just asking cause I've never heard of it.
I never spend 2+ hrs watching this kind of video, but I did today. This was great. Thanks so much. Now I know what I'll be doing with my next Audible credits!
Mel, thank you so fn much for not talking a thousand miles per hour like so many of the people on this realm of existence!! It truly is a thing!!!
One of the most insightful and life-altering conversations on all of RUclips.
I'm so grateful for this video and that it randomly popped up in my RUclips feed. Tonight I couldn't sleep because my mind and body were wide awake despite it being past midnight. I opened up RUclips to see if something could bore me into a restful state. I know that goes against all the things people recommend to help one fall asleep but that's where my thoughts were. I'm not sure what made me click on this video but I'm so glad I did. I have shared the link with two other people I know before I was even half way through the video because I know that if they'll make the time to watch this they can have a better life too. I'm now ready to get to bed but not because I was bored to death but because I feel relaxed, happy and hopeful about my future and about dealing with my day tomorrow. I'm ready to treat myself better and to see my life as choices I've made instead of things that have happened to me. I've been praying for months that I'll receive the tools I need to be better and receive the information on how to use them. I truly believe that watching this video is just the beginning to my prayers being answered. Thank you for making this available to so many people for free including myself. I deeply appreciate it.
I have a card on my mirror from myself to myself that reads: YOU'RE AMAZING! No one tells me that but me. I also look in the mirror and tell myself "I LOVE YOU!" I don't do it every day, but listening to this, I will now adopt this practice every morning. Thank you, Mel Robbins!
Crying. Overwhelmed by the power of this conversation and knowledge. Thank you for this beautiful hope.
Every single word she said is like a cold splash of ice water on my face! It's so real and true! Thank you!
Everyone needs to know they are not alone. People who share their expertise the way you both do is such a blessing in the times we are living in now. Thank you. I am so happy to have found this podcast, and even though am not a young person I want to share this with everyone.
Rose 🌹 thanks for sharing
Can Mel please share her expertise on How to write a book.. What's the process... Who do you consult.. How many hours per day/week/month does it actually require. X
Holy Moly Mel, this is spot on where I am at! I am an overthinker.
Wirh all due respect, Mel, some people are burned out, some people are ill, some people are chronically exhausted. We are not lazy. We are just very very tired.
Living a life unfulfilled is exhausting. Find things that light you up, give you energy. Free yoga vids. Swap a game or movie for something motivational that inspired and reminds you to write your own story. I know it sounds cheeky, but, with respect, there probably are a lot of people overcoming more difficult circumstances in this moment than we are. And if you don't want all those things that are tiring you to rob you off your energy, your REAL LIFE, get creative. not fancy. Just pick a little something. Something that reminds you that you have something inside you that desires real joy and true peace and what a windup thing to give just that little effort to to get started. and you have that magic 5 weddings over and over to choose this in. Just one tiny step and it's only a mountain until we take it, then it's a step behind us and we're headed the right direction. ❤
And I was offered an electric wheelchair that I would steer with my mouth less than 10 years ago bc the well qualified Dr believe I would need that within the year. I can now dance and jog at high altitude. One tiny step to start.
Some people.
Some people are just tired, (some people).... and most people are just downright lazy😢
MINDSET!!!
When she told us about her husband feeling like he didn't even deserve a fucking high-five...DAMN that hit hard! Tears pouring out of my eyes as I decided right then and there that I am making my husband do this. Because I know how worthless he feels. It breaks my heart to think about how many men in our society feel this way because they've been conditioned to judge themselves so damn hard! 😔 If any man that feels like this sees this comment, just know there is at least one person out there praying that you will feel loved and will love yourself.
Yes, just what i feeling
Beautifully put and so painfully accurate 💕
@@marckzwol high five, brother! You got this! You are worth it! You are an amazing man to just admit that to yourself and now to toal strangers! That tells me you are about to change it for yourself. May God bless you with a vision for a brighter future and direction for the first little step to take now. ❤🙏❤
Thank you
This is absolutely mind blowing, I’m experiencing a unbelievable spiritual experience Ive ever had in my life the last few weeks, I can’t believe this video popped up on my phone.. PERFECT TIMING
I walked away from 100k job to release my stress and anxiety. I was mentally in a very bad place. Once I finally left the job I have been overly blessed with happiness, better health, and clearer and better decisions making.
It’s truly mind blowing..
Can’t wait to share my story one day!!
I had similar situation. My shoulders would hurt everyday. After leaving that job, I realize my back and shoulder pain was stress
Because it no longer hurts.
Take care of "You".
Would love to hear your story.
Humility is the most beautiful quality and extremely rare!
This is my first time seeing / hearing Mel!
It s wonderful that you are empowering people to motivate themselves!!!
Who wants the vanity of fame!
Fame is just a stage of actors !
YOU ARE REAL!!!
Thanks Mel and thanks doc for the amazing podcasts 🌹
Also work on who you are instead of who you think you are. To many people are authentic today which is why they are stuck
Two of my favorite podcasters in one place, just loved this interview, thank you
It is like radical acceptance without needing to say , read or hear a single word. Thanks so much
So many of us need this right now. Much love to you Mel x
These 2 beautiful human beings Mel and Rangan using their platforms to help the public. Thank you.❤❤❤
This video was amazing and left me wanting more. I just turned 52 and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 48. Which is silly, if I have it now that means I was born with it. The problem with my generation is that girls weren’t diagnosed young like children are now. There’s a real epidemic of women in and around my age being diagnosed later in life that have no coping skills to deal with their new ADHD diagnosis. We are suffering now usually when peri- menopause begins, which is hard enough for any women. I am like most people with ADHD, I have a high IQ. I had learned to utilize my ADHD as my super power. Until one day it was like I went to sleep and woke up and suddenly it wasn’t my superpower, it was my kryptonite!! I was suddenly unable to concentrate, I was time blind, procrastinating about everything that didn’t excite me. I was getting distracted by something as simple as someone’s perfume in the other room. I could no longer concentrate or stay on task. I had multiple projects started and nothing done. I couldn’t reach my deadlines when just a few year’s prior, I did everything before the expected deadline. I’ve always had anxiety and depression but now, I was plummeting to new lows and fast. It had a profound effect over my life. It didn’t help matters that no one else could understand. I felt alone and lost with no where to turn. It’s impossible to explain this to a Neuro typical person. They assume we just need to practice mind over matter or we’re just giving up. They can’t understand why suddenly, you became this new person that can barely function. If I heard it once, I heard it a 1000 times, it’s just so weird how you were fine your whole life and now you’re barely functioning. Like I wanted an excuse to become like this and had to be looking for an easy or lazy way out. It was so much easier for them to think that I just decided to become a lazy person than to believe what was really happening! I’m talking about people who knew me for year’s. My ADHD was just an excuse to them and they were sick of it. I was losing friendships that I had for years with people who were precious to me.I lost 3 jobs in 2 years. I haven’t worked or looked for work since. I don’t have the guts to barely leave the house much less work. I’m going to be homeless at the end of this month over all this and I’m just so scared and lost. I don’t know what to do! This video may or may not be a Godsend but I’m going to try it! It won’t change my financial situation but maybe just maybe, I can learn to live and love myself.
Menopause changes a lot about us too. It was the end of my life long migraines and the end of my 14 hour sleep 'necessity' since I was 14. Changes are hard. Love yourself, because I do.
Its brave of you to say all this. Yeah..u were going at a good pace, then it gets altered by a few changes beyond your reach. I get it, having to move, new city, no supports. I pushed myself so hard. Just seemed to come up short no matter my attitude. My family cd not get the level of adapting, they are far away and thought I wasn't trying. Covid started, luckily I had a job. It became a tense scene, bosses became harried and not good w hearing the matters, clients matters. I felt I lost faith in the idea of supports. I kept working but hours were cut. Quit bc it was more effort for less pay. Crazy. I ve rested, spent time w son w Adhd. He s not motivated to do more than he is asked. I often got snarls, but I know it's wise to step out of comfort, reach out. Got counselling, worked on activities for my body, dancing, studying narcissism( old/ new friends). All sorts of people have odd ideas I would do anything w out question. I knew it wasn't all for me to Deal w children, entertain, be the free drop in center. I drew the line after being expected to do it On the spot. I love children, yet other parents attempted to Displace them onto me. It's not my Job to perform what other parents won't "think about/ act upon". A clash happened bc I said Enough. Truth is it was passive aggressive folks with no consideration of anyone else's Energy/ goals. Dropped that ball and They had to move out( problems build up bc no actions done by parents). Calm returned, I help seniors bc there is a great need. It's important, but I see there is not much support for carrying it out. Looking to drive for school busses. My son left after a hospital overnight( ER, foot pain I had). Son wanted attention 17, I had to run for medicine, make dinner after No sleep all night. No thought of how that wd be, he called me uncaring. Oof! He ran to ex, and ex won't accept an apology. Stressful bc I have to get a legal group to Hear this matter/ no option bc its in divorce agreement. I know no 1 is exempt from pain, but there s a strange expectation I never have any, I'm a machine and don't need anyone s consideration. Not balanced. So I have to plug into the help..to maybe have my son back. It's anxiety causing, I don't like this month of No one to care for. Friends, hardly can tell their timelines- looks like massive levels of Goal less days. I know I can order my day, just the distractions are not ideal, they don't Hear I need my days to go decently. Get irritation if I don't Give up my goals..thats v draining. Cut off naysayers bc they sabotage whatever ur heading to.
@@loripiontek Thank you very much! Menopause and ADHD for me is a lot of pinned up, unfocused energy, so sleep is out of the question for me. I feel like a gerbil on a wheel. I just go and go but I’m getting nowhere.I think my migraines are here to stay. I’m so happy you had some positive things happen for you. My positive that I take from this is a lot of the things I’m experiencing are comical, sometimes I get a good laugh. 💕
@@torriepenney936 You are brave for sharing, as well. I didn’t feel brave when I posted my comment. I felt desperate to be honest. I have a 19 year old son who is with me that is autistic. He’s high functioning but not high functioning enough to care for himself. So, I can truly empathize with your situation. I luckily have no issue with setting clear boundaries and it sounds like you figured out the importance of setting them the hard way. Good for you!!! I truly hope things work out for you! 💕
@@stacymorris2570 Good morning! I can relate to you so much! Courage for your journey! I am a single mom of 3 high functioning autistic kiddos💗💙💛 and a narc husband dying from Covid I have gone into my cubby hole. I also recently got diagnosed with ADHD so many things makes sense. I am so glad I saw this video and going to take the steps to get moving! I have faith in you! You have a friend in me.
I think the communication between Dr Chatterjee and Mel is very uplifting and positive and we do not see this as much as we should. As a doctor and seeing positive influences from wherever it may come from is good and not to be overlooked or frowned upon. The goal is to be supportive, helpful, uplifting and a positive motivation for those who come to us or are exposed to us. Great Show!
Hi 👋 friend, can I talk to you for a moment?
Wow !!! What a fascinating Woman . What a magical discussion . ( overwhelmed and trapped - that’s where I am at - and working on ) 🤔
I love the genuineness in her stories. The hardest ever to get motivation when depression is hitting. Very inspiring
@ approximately 26:50 she explains the 5,4,3,2,1 rule and as soon as she said it refocuses the brain and disengages the negative thoughts/feelings... that's BRILLIANT! What an amazing strategy. At the beginning of the video, I couldn't imagine how counting backwards could possibly help. Boy, I'm going to try that. Logically, and knowing what I know about depression from personal experience, I have confidence this will be a game changer.
"matthewsbrrful",
Another way to
challenge negative
thoughts and stress
by INTERRUPTING
them is self - hypnosis.
My favourite is
Michael Sealey : there
are many "guided
meditations" here
on. RUclips.
Same process as
Mel's "54321" :
gives you a rest from
tension, and the more
you listen, the better :
your SUB-conscious
mind 🦉 takes in the
beneficial message.
Best Wishes from
England 😊🌈🇬🇧
🇬🇧🦉🌈😊💙🥀
I love her humility,,Mel doesnt get all egoic about her compliments from pple and pple approaching her, with their profound shifts ,this would be heady stuff for the average Jane,,and Mel is far from average ,,in my book shes a most influential woman on the planet right now,,and we all need her,,sending blessings and much light and love to Mel Robbnsi Thank-you !!!
I love Mel Robbins! She's so inspiring. I'm moving into my van this year to travel the world and work in film/tv and I love all the motivation that Mel Robbins puts out. Love and blessings!
It is wild that I’m watching this video right now. I literally had this experience last week where I stood in the mirror and “met” myself. It was wild. I realized in that moment that I had previously always been looking past myself, avoiding my reflection because I was on an autopilot of self rejection that started with my own image. Divine confirmation. Thank you Mel and Dr. Ragan. This was powerful.
this is one of the best & most profound podcast conversations I've ever listened to. why? because it's real, authentic and you both are on the level. you clearly both honor & respect each other, you both share deeply personal things about your own lives and as the host, you don't waste the listener's time with mindless chatter which many top casters seem to love to do. I love the very human aspect brought forth here and the feeling of empathy & compassion you both exude. so beautiful.
It is so important for all of us to learn to love ourselves 1st. That’s what this gesture does. It is a great assist for our mental and spiritual health.
That sounds a lot like all or nothing thinking...."all of us"?
Some people love themselves so much that they genuinely believe they are above the rule and law of society and the social contract, and they feel entitled to special treatment because they perceive themselves as "special" and/or "unique". They believe this because their parents told them this when they were children...i.e. "We're better or different than "them". That goes hand in hand with an "us versus them" mentality.
I could definitely could get on board with the fact that we "all" need to learn a HEALTHY degree/level of love for ourselves. There are pathological levels of self love out there, and that is the antithesis of healthy.
There is a lot of "I'm special and entitled to special treatment or "I'm terminally unique...just call me a unicorn. Some people TRULY believe that, they're not just saying it in jest.
Healthy self love....not the kind of self-love that is pathological and places you and your needs above the greater good, or places you "above" or "better than" others. There is already too much of that in the world, as it is.
Omg! This is SOOOOO true. Here I am watching yet another youtube video on self help telling myself I am getting closer to my goal!
Right!?! 🤷🏻♀️
i have listened to many intervews with Mel... but there was something in this one that really hit home... thanks
Thank you for having this lady on. First time I have heard of her. She is delightful. I can't wait to read up on her more for her techniques. It is great to be able to relate to someone who has been there done that. Had life's failures and survived.
Me too, I’ve just found Mel what a fantastic lady. I can’t wait to read more about her.
She’s so down to earth, and what a great interview 👍 Thank you 🙏
I’m so glad I came across this video, it actually brought me to happy tears. I lost my job in October 2021 because of something I refused to put in my body. I worked in the electrical industry for 25 years and just like that, it is gone. I’ve been eating up all my retirement money so at the age of 52 going on 53, I have to start all over again. I’ve lost two cats in less than a year, I live in a moldy mobile home that is doing wonders to my health and my cats health and I’ve gained an extreme amount of stress weight that makes me more tired than ever. I was physically and mentally abused by a former boyfriend that by the Grace of God decided to go back to his home state and live off his family instead of me. He stays in touch only to use me until he finds another person to take care of him. Anyway, out of the blue, a former boyfriend asked me to accompany him to Florida because he’d like to buy a house. At first I thought no way and then I said what do I have to lose? Being in the sun, getting in a pool and the ocean for a week has renewed my soul. My ex was a perfect gentleman and I’m not sure of his true intentions of taking me other than I’m not working and no one else would go but he helped me even thou he needs help himself. I got back yesterday and found this video while watching something my sister sent me. It’s like God or the universe is sending me tons of signs that it’s time to brush off the worry, stress, anxiety and hurt to finally get my act together. Thank you so much for continuing the words of encouragement in my head so I can get back to the person I used to be. I loved, I had visions of a better life, I was motivated and exercised a lot, I believed I would constantly better myself and then it all came to an end. I’m feeling good today and I’m so thankful that it makes me cry.
Wow you have been through a lot. I can relate. I know that feeling of loss. I am happy that we both came across this video! Know that you are not alone. I don’t know if you believe in the power of prayer, but it can’t hurt so I am including you in my prayers tonight. I wish you the best and I just know that you will find your way to something wonderful! Hugs
@@jaydenskeeper1 Thank you ❤️
@@jacquelinel1618 thank you and wishing you the best as well
I sum wat understand wat you went threw. My son was murdered 3 yrs ago and gained around 100 pounds his father left cause he said I was too fat for him! I was so sad and it hurt so badly! But he's the 1 w/the issue I can change my weight & just move on w/ my life but we currently live together and he treats me so bad even though we are broken up I don't know wat to do at this point of my life. My car was jacked & I almost died that night the biy was gonna shoot me dead. I'm just thankful he didnt!☆
@@jenniferharding6996 oh my goodness I’m so sorry
Ok ive been depreesed since i was a young girl like i remember trying to take my own life at 11 yrs old . Now im 58, and i tryed again just last sring almost succeeded. But i was brought back to life. Now i hear you talking to just me i will try this little steps. Thank you
Mell, besides your contributions to this society, besides your successes and everything else, what I love the most about yourself is your transparency. Thank you. That in itself is worth volumes. There is nothing more I value in a human being than their transparency. Thank you again.
Two wonderful human beings having a great conversation. Thank you!
Procrastination can be tiredness or what feels like tiredness, exhaustion. Long term tiredness can be due to depression which many people have in this cruel world. I like Mel's honesty ie she doesn't try to look like a genius superior to the rest of us. She realises that people including herself can stop being overwhelmed with a simple behaviour. I havent tried yet but i will
I love how raw she is and expressive she really has got life experience and science backed research that actually work.... I am so grateful for Rangan and his Guests!! Amazing 🙏🏽
Amazing lady...great program! Keep helping please!
A lad I know ,left school at 15 and two years later , having worked as a labourer on building projects, bought an old house . He did it up over 2 yrs, sold it ,bought2 more old homes , Lived in one as he did up the other . By 21 he had his first million . He's most fortunate , he's smart , fulfilled and a forward thinker , because he got free early in life . Worked hard , and his choices paid off . Cheers
This woman is so incredibly humble and loving I just appreciate her so much I don’t have words thank u for sharing your platform with her 😊
If she was humble you would not have heard of her nor would she be booking seminars globally or making youtube videos! Understand that she is a Business woman who happened to be first and that is All, she is not a saint!
@@maxdexter2690 being successful doesn’t mean you can’t be humble.
@@kat1701 Keep thinking that way and soon you will end up at one of her no doubt overpriced Seminars!
@@maxdexter2690 I can listen to her book for free and also not want to go to a seminar.
Thank you your both so genuine. love your video. thank you for blessing so many people that need that help and myself. may God bless you greatly.
This video and the testimonies therein touched me so deeply. I was listening to it while I was putting on my makeup, Tears kept streaming down my cheek to the point I could not put on any more make-up until i could let the tears pass by. Thank you Dr Rangan and Mel for sharing these messages.
I am 61 and for years, when I just didn't feel like doing something, I have said aloud to myself, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go do it!" I still have to make sure I just do it right then and there, but it does make it easier.
I’m just 36:02 in on this my first time hearing both of these people. I’ve heard of Mel Robbins but never read one of her books before - I just ordered two of them. I appreciate that you both are acknowledging and appreciating alternative healing modalities outside of allopathic medicine. I have always been a firm believer in the body’s ability to heal. I also don’t think that just having letters after your name whether it be JD, MD, PhD or any others should automatically qualify you as having expertise or being an expert in any area. It just means you’re good at studying and passing an exam. It’s my firm belief that when you have an approach like Mel’s where you entrench yourself in the studying and practical application is where you make the difference for people and the world. Great podcast so far.
I am SO grateful I ran into this, esp at a time I’m at a low and need something simple that can get me *unstuck* . Even in the state I’m in, I believe I can do *one* thing a day! I don’t often comment on things like this bcs I over evaluate and feel the need for it to be perfect. Well, f-that, I am going to stop procrastinating preventing myself from living and just DO things.😂 I don’t care if this is an infomercial or whatever, *it would be selfish to NOT share this knowledge with others*!! This woman’s mind is absolutely brilliant!!! I believe God has made something great out of Mel, who was valiant enough to ACT on her thoughts and inspirations in a time she was at a LOW…feeling hateful and judgmental toward herself.
Thank you, I am really serious, thank you for this.I *pray* those who need to see this message will run into it like I did.
.
Also work on who you are instead of who you think you are.
Thank you Mel I judge myself every morning 🌄 change is coming!
I once saw a video about a teacher who would give each student a high five every morning as they entered his classroom, and his students were doing very well.
It's also engagement and positive psychology. Some children get nothing at home sadly. Some children dont even eat breakfast at home.
I'm close to tears right now. I fell asleep with RUclips on and your video came on and entered my dream but it was 2 different people in the dream but you and mels real voice talking from the video. I hears the high 5 part but in the dream I heard something about thoughts affecting the nervous system and I said I need to speak to her maybe she can help me heal. Then I woke up and realised what happened. I woke up with paralysis In 2016 and I'm still not healed. I need to talk to Mel urgently
Wow! As I was doing my usual procrastination activity by watching videos about sewing, instead of actually going and sewing...when I opened RUclips to watch my sewing video, this video was right beside it and the title caught my attention, then I saw how long it was....I almost didn't open it! I decided to just listen a few minutes. Needless to say I watched the whole thing! I so wish I had known this growing up, but this is so helpful in this season as well! I am going to share this on my Facebook page and tag some teacher friends! I pray they will implement these techniques with the school kids, social media has put so much more pressure on kids today and their mental health is suffering! Thank you both and God bless you!!