I had two friends that were straight asexuals. They personally didn’t consider themselves as a part of the queer community because they didn’t feel connected to the community (they were siblings, and I was as their only friend who considers themself a part of the community). But I definitely think that if an asexual straight person wants to consider themselves a part of the community, they should be.
@@FoxGameCZ I myself am trans. I don’t really know if I should call myself straight though. I’m a trans masc/ demiboy who is attracted to women (though I usually just tell people I’m a trans man or non-binary, because saying I’m a demiboy confuses a lot of people). I don’t pass at all unfortunately, as I still live with my bigoted parents. Most people just assume I’m a soft butch/tomboy.
I have a lesbian colleague at work that always shakes her head when I tell her what queer things I did on the weekend or stuff...and she always say "you are a good friend, but you are not really queer" ... I'm hetero-oriented aroace! Can't convince her, and wouldn't even try to do so... ...and I do a lot of queer things, co-organizing a Pride at our states capital f.i. :( :( :(
Honestly, if you still consider them a friend after doing that, you're a better person than me. Cuz I guarantee that if someone did that to her about not considering her orientation legit, she'd be nowhere near as nice as you are with her.
Hello! Your comment was featured in my reaction video to this. Let me ask you this. Would you go up to any of your straight colleagues to tell them "what queer things" you did on the weekend and stuff? It sounds like you singled this lesbian colleague of yours out. PS. Organizing a pride parade doesn't automatically make you Queer.
This is one of the reasons why I haven't come out to anyone in my life. I'm a straight ace in a country where lgbt is finally getting considered and open, but most of the representation and awareness leans toward gay, les, bi and trans. It feels hard to explain to someone that I'm ace and part of the community coz not much is known of asexual and I don't fit in in the lgbt norm. Worst is that I'm living in a neighborhood/culture where I'm asked when will I get married or have a lover. It's lovely that you made this video, I feel seen.
You reiterated what I first thought, heteroromantic asexuals still lie outside of the most common expectation so fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. The thought of aces also being sent to conversion camps sends chills down my spine, and makes me feel so lucky that nobody really forced me to not be my asexual self.
Pan-romantic demi here: I can't comprehend why those within the community want to gatekeep against hetero-ace people. It feels like a relic of heteronormative media which present demisexuality as an ideal, particularly for women. I felt very alienated from the trans and queer communities in general when I first came to terms with my gender identity 2 decades ago; all the representation seemed to be hypersexual, and I wanted to fit in so badly that I tried to reflect what I saw, which of course led to me feeling more alienated and dysphoric than ever.
your competition with ace dad advice might have had the opposite effect you wanted because it made me realise i wasnt subscribed to them but was to you.
@@lynnsaga1397maybe you could do the thing matt parker and steve mould did with referencing each other in each video until both people met the same subscriber milestone?
As a hetero ace i really felt like i didn't belong, got a trans partner and still felt the same really. I think i was straight for so long and really don't appear any other way outwardly to people that i just think i will always see myself as outside everything. More ace rep for the next generation might help. More people like jaiden animations and maybe future people won't feel so much like they don't belong.
Honestly a similar thing happens to some nonbinary people. You spend so long living as cis, and then you come out and the only thing that really changes might be pronouns. It's an internal thing. You feel imposter syndrome. And yeah, more ace rep would be fantastic! More ace characters!
Back agian. And there part of the comunity 100%. Its so stupid that a comunity of enclusion ia exclouding people. Srry for bad spelling btw im dyslexic
I'm heteroromantic asexual, and I didn't really feel comfortable identifying fully as ace until I began spending time with other members of the aspec community and I felt more secure in my identity and accepted. But although I do identify as queer, I hesitate to identify with the rest of the lgbtq community because I am still basically a straight cis guy, and I don't know how comfortable/safe others would feel around me. It's definitely a weird position to be in, but it is very nice to see videos like this once in a while, that affirm that if I wanted to take my place in the lgbtq community, there would be space for me. Thanks!
As someone who was a former heteroace, I didn't see myself as queer due to the gatekeeping. But then I realised that I was gatekeeping myself because I prioritised over what others think, which isn't exactly the right mindset to have. I'm now biroace with a hetero preference, though, I couldn't exactly pinpoint where I fall into nowadays because "love at first sight" doesn't exist for me and I don't get many crushes. I would have to get to know someone first, which can take months/years, and that can feel frustrating.
As a straight ace, I don't really feel comfortable identifying as part of the LGBTQ community. I feel like I'd be intruding in someone else's space. I'm also still questioning where I fit on the ace spectrum (leaning towards gray-ace and trying to define the type of attraction I do experience - Romantic? Aesthetic?). Since I'm still exploring my identity but pass as basically straight, I don't feel like I should be included under the LGBTQ umbrella. I'd rather consider myself an ally or LGBT-adjacent at most. That's just me though. Others may feel differently.
As a straight, aroace male, thank you for speaking up for all of us. I really enjoyed this and to see I and others are not alone in this. Some of us just want to have a voice and not seen as irrelevant. This video is greatly appreciated.
I am aromantic and asexual, and I definitely do not see myself as straight by definition. I am probably guessing you’re referring to aesthetic attractions right? I am aesthetically attracted to both men and women but I don’t consider myself Bisexual. I just consider myself asexual as my sexual orientation.
As a hetero ace male I feel to ways about it. Like most of the time I can be mostly straight passing. I say mostly because I do from time to time get comments about being single or not having sex, but nothing to bad. Which I am lucky about. But when it comes to relationships it is something that needs to be discussed and can get a negative reaction. Maybe more so being a man. So while I don't need to be "out" per se, it is something that defines how I approach relationships that is different from what is typical or expected.
@@DemLep I'm not arguing that you are asexual some people are. But you just said are hetero but people assume you are straight. Well I guess they assumed right. Just imagine from the pov of a gay person someone saying they are hetero but people assume they are straight
Thanks for including my comment! I do consider straight aces like myself to be part of the LGBTQ+ community, especially if that's what they're comfortable with. I've found a lot more acceptance within this community than I ever did during my religious years as a teenager (age 35 now).
I’m considered Straight Ace and I don’t really consider myself as part of the LGBTQIA+ Community. Tbh, I think of myself more as an observer who knows about the community but isn’t like fully into learning every single thing about it if you know what I mean. But, it really is up to the person if they consider themselves part of the Queer community. Thanks for making this vid, it really shed some light on what I’ve been thinking for the past few months. And that’s that I don’t HAVE to be part of the community and that a heteroromantic Ace is still valid.
Another Lynn video! 💜 I’m non-binary, demisexual, and panromantic. This is certainly interesting! I used to just feel I was Demisexual, but I didn’t know how I identified outside of that. I didn’t even know at the time Demi was part of the community.
I'm Ace. Not interested in relationships. I'm not part of the lgbtqai+ community. I'm also not homophobic and accept all people as they are. Many heterosexual people don't understand Ace people. Always felt like an outcast. Tried sexually experimenting in mid 30s. I can seriously go without for the rest of my life, but at 37 right now, things might change over time, but I don't really worry about things like that. The Asexuality spectrum is not easy to figure out, but I'm comfortable to identify as an aromantic Ace. Dated but not dating for the foreseeable future. Might later in life, but I choose not to conform to societal pressure.
Strangely enough, one thing I found as an autistic person is that I'd often been taught not to think of myself as a sexual being and that even into my 20s I was "too young" for all that stuff about dating/sex/romance and the idea that I would have a family of my own seemed fanciful. So I was never sure if I really count within the Aspec community. Then again, early encounters with the LGBTQ community groups (IA+ are left off for a reason) often encountered a somewhat cold reception since it felt like the Aspec community in general was "undermining the meaning of pride" since "Pride is a celebration of sex" and that split-attraction was "Catholic propaganda" (while I did first learn about it at Church, there is good science and logic to back it up), granted only 1 time did someone tell me that the Aspec community was "working for the Kremlin to destroy the meaning of Pride" but there did seem an attitude of "So you keep it zipped that's not a form of oppression, its the societal norm to not want sex, has been since the Reformation" although given a common reaction to demisexuality I've encountered (both when using the term and when describing the concept) is "so like when Catholics wait until they're married." or "isn't that just Catholicism?" I shouldn't be surprised that things were like that back then. Thankfully this would be a good many years back and more recent LGBTQIA+ community encounters have been less hostile (if somewhat allo-centric). Hope everyone is having a nice day and while I'm subscribed I'm also subscribed to Ace Dad Advice, since both of you make good content.
I’m an aromantic asexual who is oriented (aesthetic attraction) so I consider myself “straight and queer.” I myself feel very comfortable in both worlds and feel that it builds bridges. But I think there are many late in life aces who haven’t come out because they don’t feel at home in the community like I do. To each their own.
As a questioning (aego-/demi-) sexual and a demiromantic, I'm basically straight-. So, while it saddens me that fellow aros/aces get excluded, I personally never felt comfortable saying I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community. Partially because I'm still questioning if I'm ace but also since I'd feel like I would massively overstepping my bounds by doing so. At the end of the day these labels are mostly for myself to begin with.
I identify as ace-spec and dated boys, but I'm also attracted to some female celebrities as well as certain male fictional characters. I haven't dated a real person in years. I don't know what that says about me. LOL
Sorry to be that person who comments before watching the full video, but as an all-around queer in a relationship with someone on the ace spectrum, WTF else would aro-ace/heterosexual aromantic/heteroromantic asexual people be other than the A in LGBTQIA+??
If asked, I call my self ace, not straight. If going into details i'm (grey-)ace and find fem and androgyn presenting people prettier than masc presenting people. Ace is just a better description of me than straight or hetero. Deciding if an Ace belongs within LGBTQIA+ based on an small detail of their sexuality is dumb. Gatekeeping... That said, never personally felt part of any community, nor excluded from any community, so wtf do I know.
Het-passing aroace here, and while I firmly believe that everyone under the a-spec umbrella should be included in the wider queer community, I personally no longer consider myself part of it. Got sick of having people half my age try to "um ACKSHULLY" my experiences & orientation, online and offline. I've gotten more actual open hatred for being ace from 20something baby gays than I ever have from actual bigots, and I don't see the point in making it easier for them for find me as a target by trying with them anymore.
Thank you for addressing this and for featuring my (honestly kinda rambly 😳) comment. Your content always makes me smile and it’s very comforting to hear you talk about Asexuality on here.
I was Straight Aro/Ace then I lost all desire for everything so now I'm just Aro/Ace :) (I have had ONE, count them, ONE relationship in my entire life and to be honest? I don't miss it) Oh I'm also Cis. Cis/Aro/Aces DO exist :)
as an aro/ace trans girl, I think straight aces are absolutely part of the community! So are straight aros or even straight gray-romantics imo. If you're not completely cisgender heterosexual/romantic and want to consider yourself queer, you are free to.
As a Straight Ace male, this video helped a lot. I feel romantic attraction but no sexual attraction. As a high school student, I don’t quite know where I fall, plus telling people is very strange to say the least. At least there is more ace representation (One example is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel). Anyway I personally think that asexuals should allowed to be apart of LGBTQ due to different sexual orientation than cis-sexual folks. That’s just my opinion tho.
I just got told the other day by my straight sisters that as an Aroace I couldn't be under the rainbow coz the first identities people associate with the community is Lesbian/Gay only 😢 Bit of erasure and discrimination going on there 😅 My family only see what's in the media and they've only got 'surface level' education which is very annoying 😠
They`ll soon change LGBTQIA+ to LGB...and politically TQIA+ will be excluded from that. A community of same sex attracted people based on biological sex will obviously exclude straight people ignoring bio sex. TQIA+ need to make their own community, but of course they won`t because their ideas aren`t based on any facts.
Gray aces and straight aces feel like the fringes of the lgbt community and considered as "most cisstraight passing", but that ignores the whole ace part. And even if you're straight passing, the whole attraction&sexuality thing is a spectrum, ranging from straight to ace. That's why it's called the ace spectrum. Not straight means lgbt. You're valid regardless where you land on it, and welcomed in the community, the more the merrier, bigger community, more ace awareness helps everyone!
@@sarraceniafellI am asexual and aromantic. I am definitely not heterosexual. I can sorta see heteroromantic asexuals not quite seeing themselvesfully as non-heterosexual but they’re not really a true straight person either in the sense of being heterosexual and heteroromantic at the same time. I think once you’re aromantic and asexual you’re pretty much not straight by definition whatsoever regardless of your aesthetic preferences are.
one of my ocs is a straight demisexual father with a trans straight gray-ace daughter and ive had mutuals argue with me about it before so im glad to hear this ^-^ im not ace but support to my ace folk
I actually came out as being asexual after being able to discover my own sexuality just a few months ago, and I had no idea about some people making such a big deal about asexual people also being straight, since I happen to be someone who has hetero-romantic feelings towards others without having any interest in the sexual aspects of a relationship, and those who are part of the asexual spectrum should be allowed to love whoever they feel they are most comfortable around, especially if it's not hurting anyone to begin with.
I know it would sound different for others, but for me the idea of asking "does this sexual minority group belong in the community of sexual minority groups".. well.. didn't ever occur to me. For me anyone can be part of the community if they feel it resonates with them, or anything about it describes their experience. The same way I'd accept anyone if they said they don't want to be part of the community despite they would belong in it by definition.
In a society in which cishet allosexual is the default, ANY deviation is automatically queer. I don't even need to watch the video to know that! (But I might come back and watch it later anyway.)
I'm a hetro demisexual and I can relate to sometimes feeling like a outsider within the community, also thanks for the making the video and speaking on the topic.
My short algorithm feeding is while I've known I was ace since about 2019, I've only fairly recently self identified as queer, on account of having always been attracted to women/femmes. I stopped calling myself straight shortly before the end of the Before Times, as I find that term (in this context) to be inadequate, obsolete, and frankly confusing (though I can play a pretty good straight man in a comedic sense).
As an aroace who is romance and sex adverse, I don't even know where I fit in or if I fit in community. Made even worse by trying to appear normal for over 44+ years, (I am now 50, going on 51), and have spent my entire life, as feeling OTHER. Until Finally coming out this week.I'm from a highly 'Christian' and Military Family upbringing. And have not felt like I fit ANYWHERE since I was a pre-teen. I'm at a loss and don't know right now, where/if I belong ANYWHERE.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm technically straight in the rare instance I have romantic or sexual feelings. Maybe arofluid/demisexual (in principle). I'm definitely at least part Aegoromantic. I get very giddy about fictional characters falling in love, but I've never been giddy about someone (one sided, if at all--lithro?) in real life, you know? Hence arofluid. Is there an ace fluid as well?
They definitely belong! Again one of the terms in the A in the lgbtq+ community does stand for being asexual. If they choose to be apart, they definitely are! People trying to gatekeep the community as well. I definitely as aroace and pan, I do stay apart of the community. But the things I’ve seen people saying about being ace or aro does hurt at times. We don’t belong, we’re trying to be “special” we haven’t met the right one, us coming out because we don’t want sex, etc. Not being attracted to people the way that’s seen as normal is very isolating to me, as with most other queer folks, I just can’t really relate. But whenever ace week, aro week or come up, I do see many posts and it feels good to know I’m not alone. But the people trying to shove aces out of this community is ridiculous, hoping that eventually comes to an end
Thanks so much for this video... i just found out about me being on the ace spectrum (demi/gray i guess..its still a little confusing and very new) but me being straight romantic? is that right? and cis male i still have to figure a lot out, cause know the A is part of the queer community, but also me being someone who can totally go as a straight cis male (as i thought myself for my whole life) i kinda feel not yet connected, even so it feels so great to finally understand myself much more and finally feel like there are terms that describe me >.
Hi Lynn! I recently joined love your videos! ☺️What are your pronouns, I think that straight asexuals are a part of the LGBT community if they want to be. I'm a grayromantic asexual. I can't believe aces have to convert that's like assimilationwhich happened with the Indigenous Australians, I am honestly repulsed by this
as a bi demiromantic/probably demisexual lol?? person, i love seeing different people's views on this topic (unless they're blatantly rude) because i find it very interesting for some reason. anyways, tysm for your insight and i hope all of y'all have a good day :)
Honestly I feel like this a video that I need to find but didn’t know it 😂, I’m 30 years old. I’m cis women and I think I’ve never experience an actual crush or actual sexual attraction to any person I ever met. I have found celebrities, artist, and fictional characters “attractive” in a very superficial way. (Mostly men sometimes women) like I don’t or can’t even really even imagine myself being I intimate with a someone I know as a friends, acquaintance, much less a stranger. I’m not sure if I fit in all completely with aro/ace spectrum. I think demiromance and demisexuality is as close a label I can feel that it fits me . 😅 but it’s nice to know there are lots of other straight aces that feel the same. Sometimes I feel like I feel part of lgbtq+ community and sometimes I feel more like and “ally” and just really enthusiastic about queer media. Like the first post said “like a cheer leader” 😂 much love to all aces out there I hope you can figure things out 💜
I believe that as long as you respect the community, you should be in the community if you wish to be. I feel this works because homophobic and transphobic people don't want to be in the community and anyone who is cis-straight (and not ace or aro) who thinks they're an ally isn't really respecting the community, so they aren't included either! I think that there are a lot of eggs who would benefit from being in the community, even if they don't know why/how they fit in - they'll work it out eventually, and in the meantime, they'll look like great allies who can use their passing privilege. So let's not gatekeep too much...
If people whose sexuality is "queer," or outside the binary, then why not? Straight aces can be part of the LGBTQ+ community. Who gets to decide who is "queer enough?" Our community is too marginalized by the binary community for there to be gatekeepers in the LGBQT+ community. ❤
I used to call myself a straight ace cismale who also romantically liked some, usually femme men, but as I started to feel more like I'm part of the community I started to realize that its more accurate to call myself a lesbian-romantic ace. If I had been gatekept out of the community altogether I'd likely still think I was cis and still be miserable and feel stuck.
Not sure it is a-phobia, sounds more like hetero-phobia from "queers" (this is the group/label you used). It is not suprising LGBTI+ can also have phobia about religions and the hetero communities with heteronormativity. There are even plenty of the LGBTI+ community that have internalized LGBTI+ phobias, since we are raised in social settings that can very much be that way. Or have been that way, they taught us the homo-phobia, trans-phobia, bi-phobia, etc.
Its basic math: ⊆ means a subset asexual people ⊆ queer people asexual straight people ⊆ asexual people asexual straight people ⊆ queer people transitive property if asexual straight people ⊆ queer people is false then either asexual straight people ⊆ asexual people is false (which is ridiculous) or asexual people ⊆ queer people is false (unfortunately more people believe this)
I am asexual and aromantic, so I am definitely not by any definition straight, and consider myself non-heterosexual. I do not know what its like to be asexual but also heteromantic but I can see them as being on the buffer zone of heterosexuals and non-heterosexuals. They’re not really true heterosexuals if that helps.
Carry on the good work, Lynn, you`re one of the many people helping to make a farce of the LGBTQIA+ community, hastening its end as a political and social force. Well done.
Wait... There is a debate that they aren't? What have I been missing out on... Ok view from a person who just learnt that this is an argument, and also I'm Gay Ace soo yeah. I mean, They have Asexual in there title... They have literal Part of the LGBTQI*A*+ name, It's as if telling Bisexuals who are in straight relationships aren't part of the community even though they are *Bi*sexual??? If the Ace person doesn't want to be part of the community sure that's their decision but in general they should be right? What's the point in even excluding them...
Sex repulsed bisexual aromantic here. Don't ask me how they came together cause I don't have a clue either. I know I'm aro. I know that in some way I am attracted to I guess everyone (maybe I'm pan?) but I'm not sure if that is sexual attraction. I don't consider myself asexual cause I do experience sexual attraction. But the thought of sex and me having sex is kinda gross so I guess I am sex repulsed. I'm weird
As a trans ace person myself, I think "straight asexuals" is an oxymoron. If you are straight, you are sexually attracted to the opposite gender. If you are gay, you are sexually attracted to the same gender. If you are asexual, you aren't sexually attracted to any gender. That's the core definition of these aspects of attraction, but as you said, they operate on a spectrum. If you are somewhere in between these, you get different mixes, like bisexual or demisexual. I don't consider that "straight", even though you might have a preference for one gender over the other. And of course those people are valid in the community! :3
Also to be considered is the fact that there sexual and romantic attraction are separate. A straight asexual person may be someone who is asexual but still romantically interested in people of the opposite gender
I'm heteroflexible (basically primarily attracted to the to the opposite gender and demiromantic towards people of the same gender, but on steroids) and asexual
We have the neurodiverstity group, which also has a major overlap with the Gender and Sexual diversity groups, and our interest also inpart aline with the diverse ability group. Its about diversity being a normal and natural thing, no diversity no evolution, no human progress. Not queer, we are not wrong or unnatural for existing the way we do, how are we to change social implications and views if we lean into them this much with labeling our entire group/community as "queer"???? And there are plenty of LGBTI+ people that got issues with using the label queer. Besides that now all the sudden homosexual is labeled as slang to avoid, but it is the medical and legal term... WTF are we doing?!? I you want to use queer for yourself, that is fine in my views - your choice, but taking the choice away from community members by community members I find very troubling. Is it so hard or even wrong to label us with what we are: GENDER & SEXUAL DIVERSE/diversity.
I guess I could understand somebody not wanting to be part of the community, But usually when I run into these people it's because they don't want to be associated with trans people or non-binary people. There's a lot of bigotry that makes people not want to be in the community. Though I'm also sure there's people that just don't want to be in it. The thing is, You're a queer person. You're still part of the demographic. And I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be part of a community that is fighting for your rights and expanding representation. Obviously there's problems in any community but it's hard for me to understand why you would want to be outside of it.
The problem with (American) English is; they want to label the LGBT+ (letters acronym to queer - and the other countries have to follow suit even with no good translation for that word; either it's gay or transverse in translation, or kept queer because of the lacking for a good translation) but it is the *gender and sexual diversity.* It is not "queer", it is not "unnatural". Within the sexual diversity also fits the heterosexuals/heterophiles, and as a person who has been activist since the 2000's but in the Netherlands I have issues with the push of queer, and this also going hand in hand with a decline overal in LGBT [GSD] acception and appreciation. Not just in the USA but other [Western] European countries. WE were miles ahead, and we are reverting backwards because of this US issue, which got picked up from the 2013 Russian "Anti LGBTQ+ promotion laws" and lacking good (sexual) education for decades, but them also wanting to be the know and be all in the subjects.
They're certainly among the GRSM; it's thinking that all GRSM groups should be crammed together into one so-called community that's the error, especially when many of us aren't allowed our own spaces.
1. The LGBTI+ community is about sexual diversity, technically this also includes heterosexuals and heterophiles, however since they are not that supressed they had no need for extra representation (they already had more than all the other sexual diversities). 2. I am not sure if a hetero-"sexual" is part of the a-sexual community, this is contradictory; either you are a type of sexuality or an a-sexual. There can be heterophile/hetero-romantic in the ACE community, not all ACE are also ARO (A-romantic [-phile]).
It is not an on off switch. All people will vary on how much attraction they feel. You can feel little attraction or situational attraction and have that directed (hetero, homo, bi, etc). So yes you can be heterosexual and asexual.
@@DemLep I didn't say it was an on-off switch, that is part of my point.* I am just talking about labeling. For you it's the identity first. And it seems like you are talking more about hormones/libido. * Not on/off swithch: As I was on anti-depressives and my libido was shot, even if I had no sexual feelings I was not an "a-sexual" in my core identity. There are different levels in that spectrum, right, but up to what point? When does one label apply, and when does it shift into a different label? That would be more like vegitarian or flexitarian. Being a vegitarian that eats meat on occasions makes one flexitarian. Or I am gay, but I have occasional straight sex, or being gay for pay, sorry that makes you bisexual, and in that spectrum. A-sexual might have a spectrum, the core aspect of the identity/label is non-sexual. Why I added the Aro with the Ace in my response as well. Aro is part of the Ace spectrum amongst a few others also mentioned in the video.
@@schiffelers3944 I wasn't talking about libido at all. That is something different. It is about attraction, not how much you want to have sex. The two are related but are not the same thing. You can want sex and not be attracted to anyone, just the same as you can be attracted to someone and not want sex. As for how much, no one is policing that. If you feel your attraction is low enough that you don't relate to the experiences with allos, then you're asexual. The identities are not diagnosis. They are self assigned. You can be ace and be homo, hetero, bi, pan, whatever, because that is a different aspect of the orientation. As for aro it is the same thing but for romantic attraction. If it helps think of it like a graph with two axis. One end is men to women, the other is allo-ace. Your orientation isn't a single point on the graph, but a shaded region. Some people with have a large region shaded, some a small, and some none. It is a bit of an oversimplification, but maybe that will help.
@@DemLepI am going to go ahead and say that being heteromantic and asexual doesn’t make you heterosexual. Unless you’re like demisexual that is an exception. But I don’t think that being asexual by definition makes you heterosexual. I am aromantic and asexual I am definitely not heterosexual whatsoever. I do think saying “heterosexual asexuals” is an oxymoron as that is like saying you can be bisexual and also be homosexual or heterosexual. Asexual is a sexual orientation just like Bisexual, Heterosexual, and Homosexual are sexual orientations.
@@beazrich2.017 Of course being heteroromantic doesn't make you heterosexual (unless you are someone that uses -sexual for both romantic and sexual attraction). It is not at all an oxymoron. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, we agree on that. But it is more about the amount of attraction that who you are attracted to (unless you are someone that is attracted to absolutely no one). So if you far anywhere in the gray area in any way, when you feel sexual attract it will also have a component of who you are attracted to. This could be pan, bi, homo, or even hetero in nature. In that way it very much is not like saying you are bisexual and heterosexual. Sexuality and orientations can be more complex.
I'm a lesbian and what you say about some people being privliged is so true. Our concern about lack of lesbian spaces or being silenced are dismissed, I've Even had people dismiss what I say about lots of gay people not liking the word queer and was told "lesbians are queer loll" or " it's not even a slur anymore" or my favorite was someone telling me I need to REALLY THINK about why I don't like it. It's not rocket science, it's a slur and I don't like how people who wouldn't have been called queer anyway claim they are reclaiming it. I also don't like how lesbians are pushed around and silenced with no spaces for our own and we are supposed to accept "queer" as some umbrella term
Imagine claiming you are willing to fight but not giving an argument or responding to people replying to your comment who are taking you up on the offer
I had two friends that were straight asexuals. They personally didn’t consider themselves as a part of the queer community because they didn’t feel connected to the community (they were siblings, and I was as their only friend who considers themself a part of the community). But I definitely think that if an asexual straight person wants to consider themselves a part of the community, they should be.
Agree! Not to mention bejng straight doesn't nessecary exclude you because we have straight trans people too.
@@FoxGameCZ I myself am trans. I don’t really know if I should call myself straight though. I’m a trans masc/ demiboy who is attracted to women (though I usually just tell people I’m a trans man or non-binary, because saying I’m a demiboy confuses a lot of people). I don’t pass at all unfortunately, as I still live with my bigoted parents. Most people just assume I’m a soft butch/tomboy.
@@Reed5016I think using the label straight can make sense.
Hetero-romantic/straight ace here; thanks for addressing this! Very validating and much appreciated :)
@@FoxGameCZ Thank you! ☺️
Hetero Ace. Here thanks for this, it means a lot 🥹 💜🤍🩶🖤. Thank you for seeing us and validating us 🎉🎉🎉
As someone who is mostly straight and ace this makes me happy top
I’ve never once Thoth asexuals who are heteroromantic aren’t lgbtq you are lgbtq and you are valid alright
I used to think I was aromantic heterosexual, now I think I'm aro ace, just very horny
I have a lesbian colleague at work that always shakes her head when I tell her what queer things I did on the weekend or stuff...and she always say "you are a good friend, but you are not really queer" ... I'm hetero-oriented aroace! Can't convince her, and wouldn't even try to do so...
...and I do a lot of queer things, co-organizing a Pride at our states capital f.i. :( :( :(
Honestly, if you still consider them a friend after doing that, you're a better person than me. Cuz I guarantee that if someone did that to her about not considering her orientation legit, she'd be nowhere near as nice as you are with her.
Hello! Your comment was featured in my reaction video to this. Let me ask you this. Would you go up to any of your straight colleagues to tell them "what queer things" you did on the weekend and stuff? It sounds like you singled this lesbian colleague of yours out.
PS. Organizing a pride parade doesn't automatically make you Queer.
Not your friend, she’s aro-acephobic.
This is one of the reasons why I haven't come out to anyone in my life. I'm a straight ace in a country where lgbt is finally getting considered and open, but most of the representation and awareness leans toward gay, les, bi and trans.
It feels hard to explain to someone that I'm ace and part of the community coz not much is known of asexual and I don't fit in in the lgbt norm. Worst is that I'm living in a neighborhood/culture where I'm asked when will I get married or have a lover.
It's lovely that you made this video, I feel seen.
If you're a "straight ace" you're not LGBT. You're literally straight.
You reiterated what I first thought, heteroromantic asexuals still lie outside of the most common expectation so fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
The thought of aces also being sent to conversion camps sends chills down my spine, and makes me feel so lucky that nobody really forced me to not be my asexual self.
Pan-romantic demi here: I can't comprehend why those within the community want to gatekeep against hetero-ace people. It feels like a relic of heteronormative media which present demisexuality as an ideal, particularly for women. I felt very alienated from the trans and queer communities in general when I first came to terms with my gender identity 2 decades ago; all the representation seemed to be hypersexual, and I wanted to fit in so badly that I tried to reflect what I saw, which of course led to me feeling more alienated and dysphoric than ever.
your competition with ace dad advice might have had the opposite effect you wanted because it made me realise i wasnt subscribed to them but was to you.
Honestly it's all good they literally deserve more subs too!
Same, it made me discover this other channel ;)
Same, thanks to Lynn I subbed to him too! ^^
I can't remember who I started watching first, but you're both awesome!
@@lynnsaga1397maybe you could do the thing matt parker and steve mould did with referencing each other in each video until both people met the same subscriber milestone?
As a hetero ace i really felt like i didn't belong, got a trans partner and still felt the same really. I think i was straight for so long and really don't appear any other way outwardly to people that i just think i will always see myself as outside everything.
More ace rep for the next generation might help. More people like jaiden animations and maybe future people won't feel so much like they don't belong.
Honestly a similar thing happens to some nonbinary people. You spend so long living as cis, and then you come out and the only thing that really changes might be pronouns. It's an internal thing. You feel imposter syndrome.
And yeah, more ace rep would be fantastic! More ace characters!
Back agian. And there part of the comunity 100%. Its so stupid that a comunity of enclusion ia exclouding people. Srry for bad spelling btw im dyslexic
I'm heteroromantic asexual, and I didn't really feel comfortable identifying fully as ace until I began spending time with other members of the aspec community and I felt more secure in my identity and accepted. But although I do identify as queer, I hesitate to identify with the rest of the lgbtq community because I am still basically a straight cis guy, and I don't know how comfortable/safe others would feel around me. It's definitely a weird position to be in, but it is very nice to see videos like this once in a while, that affirm that if I wanted to take my place in the lgbtq community, there would be space for me. Thanks!
As someone who was a former heteroace, I didn't see myself as queer due to the gatekeeping. But then I realised that I was gatekeeping myself because I prioritised over what others think, which isn't exactly the right mindset to have.
I'm now biroace with a hetero preference, though, I couldn't exactly pinpoint where I fall into nowadays because "love at first sight" doesn't exist for me and I don't get many crushes. I would have to get to know someone first, which can take months/years, and that can feel frustrating.
As a straight ace, I don't really feel comfortable identifying as part of the LGBTQ community. I feel like I'd be intruding in someone else's space. I'm also still questioning where I fit on the ace spectrum (leaning towards gray-ace and trying to define the type of attraction I do experience - Romantic? Aesthetic?). Since I'm still exploring my identity but pass as basically straight, I don't feel like I should be included under the LGBTQ umbrella. I'd rather consider myself an ally or LGBT-adjacent at most. That's just me though. Others may feel differently.
“Before ace dad advice”
Muahaha I’m playing both sides
Straights can be lgbt too. They have to have one other identity in lgbt like asexual, transgender and aromantic
As a straight, aroace male, thank you for speaking up for all of us. I really enjoyed this and to see I and others are not alone in this. Some of us just want to have a voice and not seen as irrelevant. This video is greatly appreciated.
I am aromantic and asexual, and I definitely do not see myself as straight by definition. I am probably guessing you’re referring to aesthetic attractions right? I am aesthetically attracted to both men and women but I don’t consider myself Bisexual. I just consider myself asexual as my sexual orientation.
As a hetero ace male I feel to ways about it. Like most of the time I can be mostly straight passing. I say mostly because I do from time to time get comments about being single or not having sex, but nothing to bad. Which I am lucky about. But when it comes to relationships it is something that needs to be discussed and can get a negative reaction. Maybe more so being a man. So while I don't need to be "out" per se, it is something that defines how I approach relationships that is different from what is typical or expected.
Or maybe your just weird🤪
@@Lazy_lizard. Oh look your branching out to other videos. Keep watching, maybe you'll learn something.
Did you call yourself straight passing after admitting you are a heterosexual? Please tell me how that makes sense
@@PRINCESS-zz3wq I am asexual. Just heteroromantic, but probably still somewhere on the aro spectrum.
@@DemLep I'm not arguing that you are asexual some people are. But you just said are hetero but people assume you are straight. Well I guess they assumed right. Just imagine from the pov of a gay person someone saying they are hetero but people assume they are straight
Thanks for including my comment! I do consider straight aces like myself to be part of the LGBTQ+ community, especially if that's what they're comfortable with. I've found a lot more acceptance within this community than I ever did during my religious years as a teenager (age 35 now).
I’m considered Straight Ace and I don’t really consider myself as part of the LGBTQIA+ Community.
Tbh, I think of myself more as an observer who knows about the community but isn’t like fully into learning every single thing about it if you know what I mean.
But, it really is up to the person if they consider themselves part of the Queer community.
Thanks for making this vid, it really shed some light on what I’ve been thinking for the past few months.
And that’s that I don’t HAVE to be part of the community and that a heteroromantic Ace is still valid.
I’m a straight ace, thank you so much this was so validating for me 🖤🩶🤍💜
Another Lynn video! 💜 I’m non-binary, demisexual, and panromantic. This is certainly interesting! I used to just feel I was Demisexual, but I didn’t know how I identified outside of that. I didn’t even know at the time Demi was part of the community.
As a Straight, female demisexual/demiromantic thank you so much for making this, it’s so rarely talked about. All Aces are Ace enough. ❤
I'm Ace. Not interested in relationships. I'm not part of the lgbtqai+ community. I'm also not homophobic and accept all people as they are. Many heterosexual people don't understand Ace people. Always felt like an outcast. Tried sexually experimenting in mid 30s. I can seriously go without for the rest of my life, but at 37 right now, things might change over time, but I don't really worry about things like that. The Asexuality spectrum is not easy to figure out, but I'm comfortable to identify as an aromantic Ace. Dated but not dating for the foreseeable future. Might later in life, but I choose not to conform to societal pressure.
Strangely enough, one thing I found as an autistic person is that I'd often been taught not to think of myself as a sexual being and that even into my 20s I was "too young" for all that stuff about dating/sex/romance and the idea that I would have a family of my own seemed fanciful. So I was never sure if I really count within the Aspec community.
Then again, early encounters with the LGBTQ community groups (IA+ are left off for a reason) often encountered a somewhat cold reception since it felt like the Aspec community in general was "undermining the meaning of pride" since "Pride is a celebration of sex" and that split-attraction was "Catholic propaganda" (while I did first learn about it at Church, there is good science and logic to back it up), granted only 1 time did someone tell me that the Aspec community was "working for the Kremlin to destroy the meaning of Pride" but there did seem an attitude of "So you keep it zipped that's not a form of oppression, its the societal norm to not want sex, has been since the Reformation" although given a common reaction to demisexuality I've encountered (both when using the term and when describing the concept) is "so like when Catholics wait until they're married." or "isn't that just Catholicism?" I shouldn't be surprised that things were like that back then.
Thankfully this would be a good many years back and more recent LGBTQIA+ community encounters have been less hostile (if somewhat allo-centric).
Hope everyone is having a nice day and while I'm subscribed I'm also subscribed to Ace Dad Advice, since both of you make good content.
Honestly, I hate infighting! Asexuality will always be queer, even if they're also straight. Being straight doesn't mean you can't be queer!
All identities and attractions
are valid😇💜
this ^^^
@@lynnsaga1397 What about MAPs?
@@barryledgister4496thats just pedophilia not an identity or attraction
I’m an aromantic asexual who is oriented (aesthetic attraction) so I consider myself “straight and queer.” I myself feel very comfortable in both worlds and feel that it builds bridges. But I think there are many late in life aces who haven’t come out because they don’t feel at home in the community like I do. To each their own.
As a questioning (aego-/demi-) sexual and a demiromantic, I'm basically straight-. So, while it saddens me that fellow aros/aces get excluded, I personally never felt comfortable saying I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community. Partially because I'm still questioning if I'm ace but also since I'd feel like I would massively overstepping my bounds by doing so.
At the end of the day these labels are mostly for myself to begin with.
I identify as ace-spec and dated boys, but I'm also attracted to some female celebrities as well as certain male fictional characters. I haven't dated a real person in years. I don't know what that says about me. LOL
Sorry to be that person who comments before watching the full video, but as an all-around queer in a relationship with someone on the ace spectrum, WTF else would aro-ace/heterosexual aromantic/heteroromantic asexual people be other than the A in LGBTQIA+??
If asked, I call my self ace, not straight. If going into details i'm (grey-)ace and find fem and androgyn presenting people prettier than masc presenting people. Ace is just a better description of me than straight or hetero. Deciding if an Ace belongs within LGBTQIA+ based on an small detail of their sexuality is dumb. Gatekeeping... That said, never personally felt part of any community, nor excluded from any community, so wtf do I know.
Het-passing aroace here, and while I firmly believe that everyone under the a-spec umbrella should be included in the wider queer community, I personally no longer consider myself part of it. Got sick of having people half my age try to "um ACKSHULLY" my experiences & orientation, online and offline. I've gotten more actual open hatred for being ace from 20something baby gays than I ever have from actual bigots, and I don't see the point in making it easier for them for find me as a target by trying with them anymore.
Ooo this is an interesting topic
I hope you enjoyed the video!
Thank you for addressing this and for featuring my (honestly kinda rambly 😳) comment. Your content always makes me smile and it’s very comforting to hear you talk about Asexuality on here.
Ofc they are. I never thought it was a debate
Hi! Heteroromantic, bisexual mama here. All who self-identify as queer are part of the community!
🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧🟦
I was Straight Aro/Ace then I lost all desire for everything so now I'm just Aro/Ace :) (I have had ONE, count them, ONE relationship in my entire life and to be honest? I don't miss it) Oh I'm also Cis. Cis/Aro/Aces DO exist :)
We definitely DO exist :)
as an aro/ace trans girl, I think straight aces are absolutely part of the community! So are straight aros or even straight gray-romantics imo. If you're not completely cisgender heterosexual/romantic and want to consider yourself queer, you are free to.
im very hetero and very trans and nobody would consider me "not lgbt" so i have no idea why someone would think otherwise about an ace person
as a straight ace I really apreciated this video! I feel very belonging
As a Straight Ace male, this video helped a lot. I feel romantic attraction but no sexual attraction. As a high school student, I don’t quite know where I fall, plus telling people is very strange to say the least. At least there is more ace representation (One example is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel). Anyway I personally think that asexuals should allowed to be apart of LGBTQ due to different sexual orientation than cis-sexual folks. That’s just my opinion tho.
I just got told the other day by my straight sisters that as an Aroace I couldn't be under the rainbow coz the first identities people associate with the community is Lesbian/Gay only 😢
Bit of erasure and discrimination going on there 😅
My family only see what's in the media and they've only got 'surface level' education which is very annoying 😠
They`ll soon change LGBTQIA+ to LGB...and politically TQIA+ will be excluded from that. A community of same sex attracted people based on biological sex will obviously exclude straight people ignoring bio sex. TQIA+ need to make their own community, but of course they won`t because their ideas aren`t based on any facts.
Gray aces and straight aces feel like the fringes of the lgbt community and considered as "most cisstraight passing", but that ignores the whole ace part. And even if you're straight passing, the whole attraction&sexuality thing is a spectrum, ranging from straight to ace. That's why it's called the ace spectrum. Not straight means lgbt. You're valid regardless where you land on it, and welcomed in the community, the more the merrier, bigger community, more ace awareness helps everyone!
the point is that they can be straight and lgbt at the same time, like how im straight and trans. its not about being not straight.
@@sarraceniafellI am asexual and aromantic. I am definitely not heterosexual. I can sorta see heteroromantic asexuals not quite seeing themselvesfully as non-heterosexual but they’re not really a true straight person either in the sense of being heterosexual and heteroromantic at the same time. I think once you’re aromantic and asexual you’re pretty much not straight by definition whatsoever regardless of your aesthetic preferences are.
one of my ocs is a straight demisexual father with a trans straight gray-ace daughter and ive had mutuals argue with me about it before so im glad to hear this ^-^ im not ace but support to my ace folk
I actually came out as being asexual after being able to discover my own sexuality just a few months ago, and I had no idea about some people making such a big deal about asexual people also being straight, since I happen to be someone who has hetero-romantic feelings towards others without having any interest in the sexual aspects of a relationship, and those who are part of the asexual spectrum should be allowed to love whoever they feel they are most comfortable around, especially if it's not hurting anyone to begin with.
No I will not fight you, because you are right
I know it would sound different for others, but for me the idea of asking "does this sexual minority group belong in the community of sexual minority groups".. well.. didn't ever occur to me. For me anyone can be part of the community if they feel it resonates with them, or anything about it describes their experience. The same way I'd accept anyone if they said they don't want to be part of the community despite they would belong in it by definition.
I identify as a straight ace (as in straight romantically, ace sexually) and therefore feel both straight and LGBTQ.
In a society in which cishet allosexual is the default, ANY deviation is automatically queer. I don't even need to watch the video to know that! (But I might come back and watch it later anyway.)
You are so awesome! Thank you for your videos! 😊
Awww thank you for liking them!
@lynnsaga1397 I am a pansexual mtf transgender individual and I find a lot of good things in your videos
I'm a hetro demisexual and I can relate to sometimes feeling like a outsider within the community, also thanks for the making the video and speaking on the topic.
My short algorithm feeding is while I've known I was ace since about 2019, I've only fairly recently self identified as queer, on account of having always been attracted to women/femmes. I stopped calling myself straight shortly before the end of the Before Times, as I find that term (in this context) to be inadequate, obsolete, and frankly confusing (though I can play a pretty good straight man in a comedic sense).
As an aroace who is romance and sex adverse, I don't even know where I fit in or if I fit in community. Made even worse by trying to appear normal for over 44+ years, (I am now 50, going on 51), and have spent my entire life, as feeling OTHER. Until Finally coming out this week.I'm from a highly 'Christian' and Military Family upbringing. And have not felt like I fit ANYWHERE since I was a pre-teen. I'm at a loss and don't know right now, where/if I belong ANYWHERE.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm technically straight in the rare instance I have romantic or sexual feelings. Maybe arofluid/demisexual (in principle). I'm definitely at least part Aegoromantic. I get very giddy about fictional characters falling in love, but I've never been giddy about someone (one sided, if at all--lithro?) in real life, you know? Hence arofluid. Is there an ace fluid as well?
if your ace you are ace, dont have to be queer or trans for that, how is it even a debate.
Are Asexual friends are welcomed under the rainbow to me!
They definitely belong! Again one of the terms in the A in the lgbtq+ community does stand for being asexual. If they choose to be apart, they definitely are! People trying to gatekeep the community as well. I definitely as aroace and pan, I do stay apart of the community. But the things I’ve seen people saying about being ace or aro does hurt at times. We don’t belong, we’re trying to be “special” we haven’t met the right one, us coming out because we don’t want sex, etc. Not being attracted to people the way that’s seen as normal is very isolating to me, as with most other queer folks, I just can’t really relate. But whenever ace week, aro week or come up, I do see many posts and it feels good to know I’m not alone. But the people trying to shove aces out of this community is ridiculous, hoping that eventually comes to an end
Saying they’re not is such an obvious attempt to alienate and create more hate inside a already marginalised community
I love your new profile picture
Thanks so much for this video...
i just found out about me being on the ace spectrum (demi/gray i guess..its still a little confusing and very new) but me being straight romantic? is that right? and cis male i still have to figure a lot out, cause know the A is part of the queer community, but also me being someone who can totally go as a straight cis male (as i thought myself for my whole life) i kinda feel not yet connected, even so it feels so great to finally understand myself much more and finally feel like there are terms that describe me >.
Hi Lynn! I recently joined love your videos! ☺️What are your pronouns, I think that straight asexuals are a part of the LGBT community if they want to be. I'm a grayromantic asexual.
I can't believe aces have to convert that's like assimilationwhich happened with the Indigenous Australians, I am honestly repulsed by this
as a bi demiromantic/probably demisexual lol?? person, i love seeing different people's views on this topic (unless they're blatantly rude) because i find it very interesting for some reason. anyways, tysm for your insight and i hope all of y'all have a good day :)
Interesting. I enjoyed reading/hearing other people's thoughts on the matter
I am a man +++female hormones given by mom when I was in her womb by taking medication. I love being a female ❤❤❤❤
Honestly I feel like this a video that I need to find but didn’t know it 😂, I’m 30 years old. I’m cis women and I think I’ve never experience an actual crush or actual sexual attraction to any person I ever met. I have found celebrities, artist, and fictional characters “attractive” in a very superficial way. (Mostly men sometimes women) like I don’t or can’t even really even imagine myself being I intimate with a someone I know as a friends, acquaintance, much less a stranger. I’m not sure if I fit in all completely with aro/ace spectrum. I think demiromance and demisexuality is as close a label I can feel that it fits me . 😅 but it’s nice to know there are lots of other straight aces that feel the same. Sometimes I feel like I feel part of lgbtq+ community and sometimes I feel more like and “ally” and just really enthusiastic about queer media. Like the first post said “like a cheer leader” 😂 much love to all aces out there I hope you can figure things out 💜
Doesn't matter, asexual people are people.
I believe that as long as you respect the community, you should be in the community if you wish to be. I feel this works because homophobic and transphobic people don't want to be in the community and anyone who is cis-straight (and not ace or aro) who thinks they're an ally isn't really respecting the community, so they aren't included either! I think that there are a lot of eggs who would benefit from being in the community, even if they don't know why/how they fit in - they'll work it out eventually, and in the meantime, they'll look like great allies who can use their passing privilege. So let's not gatekeep too much...
If people whose sexuality is "queer," or outside the binary, then why not? Straight aces can be part of the LGBTQ+ community. Who gets to decide who is "queer enough?" Our community is too marginalized by the binary community for there to be gatekeepers in the LGBQT+ community. ❤
I used to call myself a straight ace cismale who also romantically liked some, usually femme men, but as I started to feel more like I'm part of the community I started to realize that its more accurate to call myself a lesbian-romantic ace. If I had been gatekept out of the community altogether I'd likely still think I was cis and still be miserable and feel stuck.
Not sure it is a-phobia, sounds more like hetero-phobia from "queers" (this is the group/label you used). It is not suprising LGBTI+ can also have phobia about religions and the hetero communities with heteronormativity. There are even plenty of the LGBTI+ community that have internalized LGBTI+ phobias, since we are raised in social settings that can very much be that way. Or have been that way, they taught us the homo-phobia, trans-phobia, bi-phobia, etc.
As an asexual lesbian Demi girl that is technically correct
Its basic math:
⊆ means a subset
asexual people ⊆ queer people
asexual straight people ⊆ asexual people
asexual straight people ⊆ queer people
transitive property
if asexual straight people ⊆ queer people is false
then either
asexual straight people ⊆ asexual people is false (which is ridiculous)
or
asexual people ⊆ queer people is false (unfortunately more people believe this)
it's basic music:
A is one of the notes in the LGBTQIA+ scale.
Important!
I am asexual and aromantic, so I am definitely not by any definition straight, and consider myself non-heterosexual. I do not know what its like to be asexual but also heteromantic but I can see them as being on the buffer zone of heterosexuals and non-heterosexuals. They’re not really true heterosexuals if that helps.
Carry on the good work, Lynn, you`re one of the many people helping to make a farce of the LGBTQIA+ community, hastening its end as a political and social force. Well done.
Wait... There is a debate that they aren't? What have I been missing out on... Ok view from a person who just learnt that this is an argument, and also I'm Gay Ace soo yeah.
I mean, They have Asexual in there title... They have literal Part of the LGBTQI*A*+ name, It's as if telling Bisexuals who are in straight relationships aren't part of the community even though they are *Bi*sexual???
If the Ace person doesn't want to be part of the community sure that's their decision but in general they should be right? What's the point in even excluding them...
Sex repulsed bisexual aromantic here. Don't ask me how they came together cause I don't have a clue either. I know I'm aro. I know that in some way I am attracted to I guess everyone (maybe I'm pan?) but I'm not sure if that is sexual attraction. I don't consider myself asexual cause I do experience sexual attraction. But the thought of sex and me having sex is kinda gross so I guess I am sex repulsed. I'm weird
As a trans ace person myself, I think "straight asexuals" is an oxymoron. If you are straight, you are sexually attracted to the opposite gender. If you are gay, you are sexually attracted to the same gender. If you are asexual, you aren't sexually attracted to any gender. That's the core definition of these aspects of attraction, but as you said, they operate on a spectrum. If you are somewhere in between these, you get different mixes, like bisexual or demisexual. I don't consider that "straight", even though you might have a preference for one gender over the other. And of course those people are valid in the community! :3
Straight asexuals are asexuals who are heteroromantic. They feel romantic attraction but not sexual attraction.
I look at it as the gender you are attracted to as one axis, and the level of attraction a different axis.
Also to be considered is the fact that there sexual and romantic attraction are separate. A straight asexual person may be someone who is asexual but still romantically interested in people of the opposite gender
As lesbian I question my asexual part, but it is up to you.
I'm heteroflexible (basically primarily attracted to the to the opposite gender and demiromantic towards people of the same gender, but on steroids) and asexual
We have the neurodiverstity group, which also has a major overlap with the Gender and Sexual diversity groups, and our interest also inpart aline with the diverse ability group. Its about diversity being a normal and natural thing, no diversity no evolution, no human progress.
Not queer, we are not wrong or unnatural for existing the way we do, how are we to change social implications and views if we lean into them this much with labeling our entire group/community as "queer"???? And there are plenty of LGBTI+ people that got issues with using the label queer.
Besides that now all the sudden homosexual is labeled as slang to avoid, but it is the medical and legal term... WTF are we doing?!?
I you want to use queer for yourself, that is fine in my views - your choice, but taking the choice away from community members by community members I find very troubling. Is it so hard or even wrong to label us with what we are: GENDER & SEXUAL DIVERSE/diversity.
I guess I could understand somebody not wanting to be part of the community, But usually when I run into these people it's because they don't want to be associated with trans people or non-binary people. There's a lot of bigotry that makes people not want to be in the community. Though I'm also sure there's people that just don't want to be in it. The thing is, You're a queer person. You're still part of the demographic. And I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be part of a community that is fighting for your rights and expanding representation. Obviously there's problems in any community but it's hard for me to understand why you would want to be outside of it.
i subbed :)
The problem with (American) English is; they want to label the LGBT+ (letters acronym to queer - and the other countries have to follow suit even with no good translation for that word; either it's gay or transverse in translation, or kept queer because of the lacking for a good translation) but it is the *gender and sexual diversity.* It is not "queer", it is not "unnatural".
Within the sexual diversity also fits the heterosexuals/heterophiles, and as a person who has been activist since the 2000's but in the Netherlands I have issues with the push of queer, and this also going hand in hand with a decline overal in LGBT [GSD] acception and appreciation.
Not just in the USA but other [Western] European countries.
WE were miles ahead, and we are reverting backwards because of this US issue, which got picked up from the 2013 Russian "Anti LGBTQ+ promotion laws" and lacking good (sexual) education for decades, but them also wanting to be the know and be all in the subjects.
They're certainly among the GRSM; it's thinking that all GRSM groups should be crammed together into one so-called community that's the error, especially when many of us aren't allowed our own spaces.
What do you mean by the G and GRSM? Never heard that one.
thank you
Idk how some people think this sexual or other type of attraction identity that isnt cis het doesnt belong to lgbtq+
Does this mean that aromantic hetero is also lgbt?
Yes, she is saying that.
This is gonna be random, but if you read the Bible, doesn't it appear that Jesus Himself is ace? Am I wrong or are we calling Jesus queer?
Hard to say if Jesus was, but Paul certainly sounds like he wasn't a fan of sex.
Straces
1. The LGBTI+ community is about sexual diversity, technically this also includes heterosexuals and heterophiles, however since they are not that supressed they had no need for extra representation (they already had more than all the other sexual diversities).
2. I am not sure if a hetero-"sexual" is part of the a-sexual community, this is contradictory; either you are a type of sexuality or an a-sexual. There can be heterophile/hetero-romantic in the ACE community, not all ACE are also ARO (A-romantic [-phile]).
It is not an on off switch. All people will vary on how much attraction they feel. You can feel little attraction or situational attraction and have that directed (hetero, homo, bi, etc). So yes you can be heterosexual and asexual.
@@DemLep I didn't say it was an on-off switch, that is part of my point.*
I am just talking about labeling.
For you it's the identity first.
And it seems like you are talking more about hormones/libido.
* Not on/off swithch:
As I was on anti-depressives and my libido was shot, even if I had no sexual feelings I was not an "a-sexual" in my core identity.
There are different levels in that spectrum, right, but up to what point?
When does one label apply, and when does it shift into a different label?
That would be more like vegitarian or flexitarian. Being a vegitarian that eats meat on occasions makes one flexitarian.
Or I am gay, but I have occasional straight sex, or being gay for pay, sorry that makes you bisexual, and in that spectrum.
A-sexual might have a spectrum, the core aspect of the identity/label is non-sexual.
Why I added the Aro with the Ace in my response as well. Aro is part of the Ace spectrum amongst a few others also mentioned in the video.
@@schiffelers3944 I wasn't talking about libido at all. That is something different. It is about attraction, not how much you want to have sex. The two are related but are not the same thing. You can want sex and not be attracted to anyone, just the same as you can be attracted to someone and not want sex. As for how much, no one is policing that. If you feel your attraction is low enough that you don't relate to the experiences with allos, then you're asexual. The identities are not diagnosis. They are self assigned. You can be ace and be homo, hetero, bi, pan, whatever, because that is a different aspect of the orientation. As for aro it is the same thing but for romantic attraction.
If it helps think of it like a graph with two axis. One end is men to women, the other is allo-ace. Your orientation isn't a single point on the graph, but a shaded region. Some people with have a large region shaded, some a small, and some none. It is a bit of an oversimplification, but maybe that will help.
@@DemLepI am going to go ahead and say that being heteromantic and asexual doesn’t make you heterosexual. Unless you’re like demisexual that is an exception. But I don’t think that being asexual by definition makes you heterosexual. I am aromantic and asexual I am definitely not heterosexual whatsoever. I do think saying “heterosexual asexuals” is an oxymoron as that is like saying you can be bisexual and also be homosexual or heterosexual. Asexual is a sexual orientation just like Bisexual, Heterosexual, and Homosexual are sexual orientations.
@@beazrich2.017 Of course being heteroromantic doesn't make you heterosexual (unless you are someone that uses -sexual for both romantic and sexual attraction). It is not at all an oxymoron. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, we agree on that. But it is more about the amount of attraction that who you are attracted to (unless you are someone that is attracted to absolutely no one). So if you far anywhere in the gray area in any way, when you feel sexual attract it will also have a component of who you are attracted to. This could be pan, bi, homo, or even hetero in nature. In that way it very much is not like saying you are bisexual and heterosexual. Sexuality and orientations can be more complex.
This is such a privileged take. I no longer identify with the LGBTQHSHD+ and I only see myself in the lesbian community
I'm a lesbian and what you say about some people being privliged is so true. Our concern about lack of lesbian spaces or being silenced are dismissed, I've Even had people dismiss what I say about lots of gay people not liking the word queer and was told "lesbians are queer loll" or " it's not even a slur anymore" or my favorite was someone telling me I need to REALLY THINK about why I don't like it. It's not rocket science, it's a slur and I don't like how people who wouldn't have been called queer anyway claim they are reclaiming it. I also don't like how lesbians are pushed around and silenced with no spaces for our own and we are supposed to accept "queer" as some umbrella term
Narcissism strikes again. Get over yourselves.
You are wrong
No they arent and i will actually fight you about it.
And why not?
If you are serious I would just like the reasoning. It seems to me to be more beneficial to stand together.
so am i not lgbt as a straight trans person? lol
Imagine claiming you are willing to fight but not giving an argument or responding to people replying to your comment who are taking you up on the offer
@@DemLep i am ace. i refuse to be lumped together with gays.