What Asexuals Wish YOU Knew About Asexuality
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- Опубликовано: 27 июн 2023
- So I've been thinking a lot about what asexuals wish people outside the asexual spectrum knew about our community. I asked my community to let me know so here is what asexuals wish you knew about asexuality. I want to thank everyone who commented. I couldn't get to everyone so if you want to see a part two of this video be sure to leave a comment down below!
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And for your audience who doesn't know a lot about asexuality, those of us who are sex-repulsed are not necessarily sex-negative. We may not want to have sex ourselves, but we generally don't have any problem with others doing what they want to do.
Good point, I can agree to this. Though, admittedly, I am more indifferent on the topic (in both respects), so my opinion may not count for much...
Well, otherwise the human race would die out.... kinda.
I would add that it's the same for those of us that are romance-repulsed :)!
My grandma is 76 and she has found out she’s on the ace spectrum like two months ago, so yeah, visibility is important.
Um…she’s not “ace” she’s just…literally old.
@@transwomenaremale being old isn't a factor in being ace.
@@_em.people often lose their sex drives as they age. Women in particular, whose bodies don’t produce as much estrogen as they did when they were younger, which often kills their libido and causes physical side effects such as vaginal dryness and thinning of vaginal tissues. A 76 year old woman not wanting to have sex is…pretty normal.
@@transwomenaremale so, low libido is not what asexuality is. Asexuality is low to no sexual attraction. (Finding someone hot, being aroused by their appearance)
Anyone from any orientation can have low libido. Not wanting to have sex is not what being ace is.
Also, what you said is true but old people do still have sex. Obviously for some its difficult but not everyone is the same
@@_em. Please tell me the difference between having a low libido and not being sexually aroused.
I’m 66 and only recently realized that there is a term for how I experience sexuality. The reason I found the information I needed was because my older daughter just identified as ace. When she talked to me about it, it was like a light coming on-there are other people who experience this too!!! After a lifetime of just not getting how other people feel about sex, I finally have a framework to explain my experience. Btw, my younger child is trans and my husband is gender fluid and poly, so I’m in a very supportive family. But I can’t tell you how good it feels to know that I’m not out there all by myself feeling the way I do. It’s made it easier to feel validated, to feel that this is a shared experience.
I didn’t know what asexuality is until one of my friend’s friend explained it around me at a D&D session. And then it took me like 10 months of questioning before I finally realised I was asexual. Lack of representation and being talked about is such a big deal and I hope asexuals and aros can get more visibility in the very near future.
I learned as asexual a few years after I married my husband. Before that point I always thought I was broken. A few months ago I tried bringing up asexuality to him. I want to come to understand what it was before I told him what I discovered about myself and all he does is rant about all these modern sexualities and how it's all pointless and doesn't mean anything and it's just people wanting attention. So I have not told my husband and do not feel comfortable with telling him
Wow, that sounds like a tough time! I haven't had much success making people my age believe there is such a thing as asexual either. I can't imagine how much more difficult it must be if your husband doesn't believe you. I sincerely hope that his ignorant rants won't bring you too much down. ❤
You don't have to tell if you're not comfortable! Like,ever. You don't owe him or anyone a coming out. Just hope he doesn't force you into sex you don't want
That is literally what I am experiencing now. Explaining how you feel just doesn’t help for exactly the same reason as the author above described. “You just got influenced by other genZers”. It’s doesn’t even help to tell friends because they go like “well, you had two boyfriends and never mentioned that before”. It feels very lonely, so I am happy to see it is not actually the case.
I'm 42 and just learned about the asexual spectrum in the last few years. Embracing that side of me has definitely helped me improve my mental health and feel less "broken." Also, big yikes to the term "spicy straight." I had a friend call me that once when we were discussing sexuality.
Yeah, ace people can easily not be heteroromantic and the private lives of aro-aces are probably the furthest from spicy as you're likely to find!
I was 35 (now 36) when I realized I was aro/ace and agender. I’m just glad there’s contact creators like you who help spread positive information for our community. Continue doing great work, and here’s hoping that our community will be properly accepted in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Yes! I honestly wish that asexuality was understood and taught more. Like when I was in middle school I knew that asexuality was a thing, but didn't really know what it was. I didn't learn what it was until I was questioning myself in high school. That's when I learned what asexuality was and that I'm on the spectrum.
I would also say the same thing for aromaticism. Since I didn't know what that was until I researching what asexuality was.
this! i also feel like they should teach this in human growth classes - like they talked about sex and…. male and female …. blah blah blah but why can’t they also teach asexuality/ aromantic along with others too and all the types of attraction and all the in between - the health and human growth classes in school only talk about sex and it’s a thing everyone does and wants to do - cus when i was in school the teacher would even say there are 2 types of attraction sexual and romantic but they tied together - everyone assumes oh you’re teenagers you are all sex crazy as well.
i found out of the word in like junior year i honestly can’t remember exactly how i found out about it -but i wish i knew of it soon cus it was messing with my head i didn’t feel normal but i knew of the word and i questioned but i never gave it another thought. and when i was out of highscool i was like i think i might actually be… it took me almost 3 years to actually accept that i am asexual.
can’t wait for the day when asexuality is more well known.
I wish people knew that ace people DO suffer from prejudice and are excluded from society for not being straight. like people will say that and right after say that we're just straight attention seeking folk... it's incredible how people can be so close to the point and still miss it.
and it's crazy that people don't see that we don't fit in the heterocisnormative, and specially don't see that we are pathologized and excluded by the lgbt community itself.
also, wish people knew how hard it is to come out as ace, specially to potential partners and doctors/psychologists. the risk of being neglected and pathologized respectively is so high...
I don’t want to have sex. I don’t find it necessary to label myself nor have I been in any way marginalized as a result of not wanting to have sex. Stop seeking victimhood.
Thanks for including seniors like me in this! I'm over 60 and didn't realize I was asexual until the last year. I've struggled to make sense of my sexuality since I first became sexually active as a teenager. My identity, orientation, and relationship history finally made sense to me as soon as I read about asexuality and aromanticism. It has been life-changing for me, and I am happy to be out about it because I know there are still lots of people of all ages that would benefit from having more visibility and awareness.
after almost 5 years together and at the height of 31 years old, my husband just recently realised he is on the asexual spectrum, and now that we are both aware of it, everything makes so much more sense and we have so much less stress in our relationship. it does need to be talked about more :)
As an older ace (38) who only realised i was ace a few years ago it made my life so much better. Would have been a lot better than that though if i came to it earlier. Awareness helps peoples lives in ways i think most people would never even begin to imagine.
Videos like these make such a difference in peoples lives, if more people realise earlier maybe a lot less people will go through a lot less difficult times.
Ewww "awareness" ugh get OVER yourself. Choosing to not be sexual is not an idenity, in fact you are doing us all a favor to not engage in it. WHO TF cares. Get over it!
I'm sure others have already said this since it comes up so often, but people need to know that we aren't going to change when we "meet the right person."
You are one of the only content creators that I am aware of that talk about the asexual and aromatic community and actually knows what they're talking about. I love how you educate and expand people's understanding of the communities and I hope you are having a wonderful day so far! 🏳️🌈
Thank you so much for making this video!
I'd highly recommend Loveless by Alice Oseman to anyone reading this. It's one of my favorite novels. I was *obsessed.* I'd never read about an asexual aromantic character before. Becuase I didn't completely identify with the character's experience, I figured I wasn't on the ace spectrum. Now I'm curious to explore more and decide what resonates. Your videos have been so helpful. 😊
Thank you for spreading awareness and debunking misconceptions 💜🏳️🌈
Aro/Ace peers around the door: We can come in? *waves tiny flag in ace and aro colours*
Why not? That the non-aro aces and the non-ace aros don't like always being assumed to be aroace does not mean they hold grudges against us aroaces.
I'd love to see a part two! Also, a bonus misconception - as aromantic and asexual are both spectrums, aro-ace people can have orientations too, whether that's gay, lesbian, pan, hetero etc.
Also another thing I found out was aces can still get aroused. Honestly that opened up a whole world of questions for me because I thought "I may be aromantic since I've had little to no experience with crushes, but maybe not asexual since I've still been aroused" but now I don't even know anymore
@cradica If you're wondering about asexuality and arousal, you might want to look into the aegosexual microlabel. It's possible you will find an explanation there. 😉
@@AcerolaOrion.b00p honestly I'm still trying to figure myself out. I may be aromantic but I'm pretty sure I'm at the very least gray aro.
@@cradica I get what you're saying. Even if information about asexuality is slowly getting more accessible, the availability of good information about aromanticism seems to lag a little behind. Particularly if not in connection with being asexual. If you feel like more information sites like Aurea and Arocalypse might help, but if you feel overwhelmed just take your time and think about it. No one says you need to answer this question now. Good luck with figuring things out!
I aroace, and the only thing I want people around me to understand, is that I'm not broken.
I don't need a magical cure to somehow "fix" me
as someone whos been struggling with being ace for years, im soo grateful i discovered your channel! it helps me so much to feel valid and view my asexuality as something positive and not the curse i was led to believe ❤
That last comment is so me. I think I may have mentioned before, but I'm 34, and I just learned about asexuality earlier this month which afterwards I began to identify as ace. It's great!
I had a similar experience I am 32 and I just realised 3 month’s ago that I am ace ( and maybe demiromantic) but when I did it’s just clicked .
@@jonasnelissen6162 Nice to hear that, and yeah it is like everything comes together and clicks with us.
I was past 30 when I heard about being ace and accepted that pretty easily. It wasn't until I was 40 that I realised that I was also aro-spec (and I really wasn't a fan).
@@Arakhor acceptance of one's self is different for different people, and it's like a journey of sorts. I hope you can become more of a fan of you being aro-spec.
@@Tyler16bit Why, thank you. At least the blue and yellow aro-ace flag is a good looking one!
My new girlfriend is Ace and I’m not so this has helped me understand her perspective and needs better thank you! You are doing amazing things!
I had a 10 year window that I was sexually active from age 27-37. I don't totally regret that 10 years, but that was more than enough for me. I don't feel that asexuality is being "broken" in any way, I feel that the main reason why I engaged in sex at all was because society told me that I needed to to be "normal" I wish I could have just been me without that societal pressure, but I got there!!
Yes! I am in my mid-30s and recently (a few years ago) came across the term of asexual and it was like, wow... this really applies a lot to me. I'm not sure where I lie on the romantic spectrum, though. And then more recently (a few months ago), I was talking to my sister and I realized that one of the characters that I'd been writing for years is also probably on the aroace spectrum somewhere (my best guess on him currently is grey or demi, but I'm not certain).
Cake and dragons and garlic bread! And spaghetti because that goes nicely with garlic bread...
and Chaos Gods, Don't forget the Great Ones? :)
Thank you for posting my comment! Growing up, it was generally known that you could be straight, gay, bi or pan-- there were no other options; and if you didn't fit into any of those categories, you were "broken" or "frigid" (a word I heard quite a bit in high school). Thanks to you and a growing number of ace and aro content creators, we not only have a community, but also education to help people of all ages live their best authentic selves. I've been aroace for about ten years, but most of what I know about the ace and aro spectrums I only learned about the past year! Thanks again for helping the cause!
[Edited for clarity]
When I was at school in the 90s, the subject was avoided entirely. I knew that being gay or bi was a thing, but no one talked about it, and I had no idea that being ace was even possible until I was fully 30 years old.
Thank you so so much for making your channel a safe space! ⚫⚪🟣🏳️🌈
Thank you for making this! I would love a part 2
This is so relatable! Thank you!!
One of the older ones here. For me it started with seeing the term ace in one of One Topic's videos and after that i found your channel. Been out and proud ace for over a year and came out at the age of 48 :)
Thanks for spreading the awareness!
Thank you. This video makes me so happy. I just a few months ago came to terms with my asexuality, after 26 years of confusion. It makes me so happy to realise that there are others like me out there
you are awesome my dude and i really appreciate you and this video
Great video!
I think the term you tried to remember around 10:53 is amatonormativity. Unless there is a similar term I'm not aware of. There is also allonormativity, which some people ascribe only to asexuality, even though it refers to aromanticism as well.
I would love o see a part 2!
I've been watching your videos for the last week or so and I somehow just stumbled across them and I have to say your videos have changed my whole way of thinking... I honestly thought I was completely broken inside. Me being this way (what you've explained as Ace) has brought complete chaos into my life over the last 20 or so years. It was so bad in my 20s that I turned to drugs and alcohol to cope. My life completely spiraled out of control. (I'm 42 now BTW and the times I have felt some attraction it has been to other males, while living in the deepest part of Alabama where there is nothing but Trump flags flying everywhere lol) I wish I could meet someone else like me but to my knowledge never have. Maybe one day I will and not feel so alone but until then keep making more videos for me to watch xoxo
Kind of a random comment, but I love that desktop background you have in the background of this video! This is the first of your videos I've watched so I don't know if you've ever discussed where it's from (fine if you haven't and can't/won't in the future).
You are such an awesome lovable intelligent person a lot of people think any sexuality other than hetrosexual is a choice you are awesome as you arethe world needs more open minded good people like you love your videos
I worked out i was ace in my 40s. I just want peope to have a basic awareness of what we are. I love this video!
I'm 41 years old and only recently came across asexuality. It has really helped me to understand myself more!
I want people to understand all of these facts 👏👏👏
I absolutely thought I was broken. It wasn’t until my 40’s that I found the term demisexual. The idea of having sex with anyone I didn’t have a deep connection with is horrible. I learned about it when my kid came out as ace/aro and I did research on asexuality that I realized I’ve never been broken.
What? That’s called being a normal female.
this video is great! Shout out to y'all fabulous ace people!
You are so awesome for doing this. I just realized my full self (grey-A, bi, gender-queer female) about 10 years ago. I didn't share it with most of the people in my real life until two years ago.
What is “gender-queer”?
Hoping next video explains a bit about sex positive asexual's cuz it confuses me quite a bit and I wanna explore more on it
Thank you sincerely
I am almost 53 and I didn’t know asexuality/aromanticism were things until about two years ago. It was one of the most validating experiences in my life.
Yeah, it is sort of awkward sometimes. I suspect I may be asexual, but sometimes I "feel" as if I am just making it up, even if the definitions seem to fit.
Also, I am 39 and have almost no real dating experience... Nor really had any other relationships. Didn't really realize anything was unusual here until seeing videos about it on RUclips.
Do sometimes end up having an emotional attraction to people (like, kinda wishing they were interested in me, etc...), but not really any real interest in the physical aspects. Not really opposed to it, so much as I just don't really care that much either way, and the whole thing just seems "kinda abstract" sometimes. Not sure how to best describe it, like one can know about something, but in terms of "feeling" or having any sense what attraction would "feel like" is a bit of a mystery.
Still did kind of want to find someone, but this would be more to have kids and a family and similar (so that I am not simply the last of my line). But, not really met anyone I have anything in particular in common with, nor who was otherwise interested in me, etc... At this point, seems about like it is probably too late already though.
Like, seemingly I just sort of spent too much of my time mostly nerding out about my hobby projects and similar (mostly programming stuff; in recent years mostly C and Verilog, and have made a custom CPU core that runs on an FPGA and similar, for a custom ISA, etc). But, often, just working on my hobby projects seems a bit more tangible.
word you wanted was amatonormativity :) good vid
I always feel like the odd ace out... I have a crazy labido.. And Im not sex repulsed.. Im just not sexually attracted to anyone.
If I grew attached to someone, through platonic and emotional connections, and said person wanted sex I would be fine with it.. So long as they didn't come at me weird or manipulative with it. Would be fine with it probably whenever they felt like it, and if it became a regular thing I could likely give them more than they could handle :/ ... But if they didn't bring it up I would be just as fine and would be happy with just being with them while never thinking about having sex with them...
When I was younger I tried so hard to be attracted to anyone, male, female, anything.. Did alot of things while thinking I was somehow broken. Tried to force myself.
I still don't fully get sexual attraction. I don't see how you can look at someone and think about that.. Especially without knowing who the person is, their personality, what they like.. My brain can't wrap around it...
I hate it when I tell someone that I'm demisexual, and they reply something like "sooo.... Normal?"
I wish it was normal, but what they are doing is erasure, makes me feel invisible, and a bit broken again
Part 2 please! Love the inclusivity and truth here.
I didn't think that I was asexual because I have aesthetic attraction. I just didn't realize people thought more than just 'that's an aesthetically pleasing person 😊' when they look at someone 😅. It wasn't until recently that my friend asked me if I've ever been sexually attracted to anyone that I realized I haven't thought of anyone in a sexual context ever.
I'm asexual but I would want a romantic relationship that was meaningful and real. But I have no need for community and or romantic sexual relationship I'm also a sociopath intj Sigma BDSM I also never heard this term till about a year ago from a lesbian.I never had any persecution if anything I am almost diefied for being myself without ever seeking approval
Aro unless it's contextual + Ace unless it's ethical.
Since that combination leaves room for the slow love to form or burst into epiphanies of feelings for each other. Time, distance and sometimes surroundings; seems to evaporate.
Very timeless & immortalizing to have memories like that to go back to. As it is worth it, like nothing else.
Can also be asexually sensual so anybody understands the middle ground that nearly everyone ignores or forgets about the most. I'm a polyfidel, and I personally don't like going too long without that, as it makes me feel under-utilized in a world thats too starved of it. But I appreciate when lovers can be that way on their own.
Usually comes down to timing, pacing and then intensity.
So whatever builds up into making the most sense: whether it is gradual or spontaneous is left up to that.
Im 12 and when i tell somebody im not straight or gay they get very confused.
YES THANK YOU ❤
I didn't realize i was asexual until i saw your videos and after realizing that im ase i feel like a huge stressful feeling was lifted so thank you and btw i am 20 years old. Can i ask is asexual considered queer
i remember my whole processing of actually realizing that i was asexual all along, my mom was always a very pushy parent with that ''sex is good'' and that she hopes me and my sister would feel happy doing it with people (it is less weird than it sounds i promise) but i never..i never felt it? i just look at people my mom points out that was ''stereotypically'' hot or cute and i just..i dont see it or feel anything,it took me so long to accept i was asexual cuz i engaged in sexual situations and seem to make the most sexual jokes out of my friends, but in reality i just like the feeling of it happening or the idea of it,but i dont get turned on or react the same way as ciz people or others to porn or naked people, i always hated shows with sex scenes and i usually avoid them cuz its just weird and awkward to me
now thanks to my fiance i know im panromantic,nonbinary and asexual (cupiosexual if u wish) and i couldent be happier to finally find a place that understands what it is like and to feel like its not just something in my head
I sm happy do be pn the aroace-spectrum, because I have social anxiety and not feeling this types of attracted makes it easier for me, because I know there isn't anything I need another person and it also makes my BPD easier, because I don't need a romantic or sexual relationship and because of this I have less relationship types that can be instable. Somehow my sister is the only person with whom I can have a stable relationship, with other people a platonic relationship can easily be to much for me witch causes me to push them away from me or at least have a strong impuls to do it.
Thank you so much for this video I'm a 57 year old aromantic asexual transgender woman and when I came out as a sexual and came out as transgender that made me my true and authentic self and second only to my relationship with Jesus in giving me freedom keep up the good work Andrea
The misconception that bugs me most of all is that my syamdards are too high.
I still get this one and I'm 50.
Can you make one about being Aromantic? I'm aro and I'd like to have one about it to help myself except that I'm aro!
14:03 feel you so much, I'm panromantic, demisexual and agender, it's like almost the holy trinity of being invalidated, thanks for your content, you're doing great job
Also, I have literally the same wallpaper on my PC
Why do you need external validation for anything?
@@transwomenaremale why are you going on a comment spree trying to make others feel bad about sharing their experiences?
@@_em. because people should know that they’re not owed validation for anything, especially not random labels that they collect like Pokémon.
@@transwomenaremale what validation do you get from these comments?
Infantalisation of asexuality is a big problem. Asexuality in adults is not related to maturity or sexual nor emotional maturity or lack of self awareness.
I really appreciated your focus on language. Labels are not identities, they are simply collective terms and adjectives for our experience as human individuals.
Im 36 and it felt like a huge weight lifted off my back I thought i was broken for a long time when i realized i am on the asexual spectrum
I totally get 3:46 because I offhandedly mentioned I was asexual to my friend a while ago and ever since she's been calling me aroace, I'm not
10:40 Literally my situation. I'm aroace to, but I'm out to my family only as ace. They "support" in the sense that they didn't kicked me out or something. I don't plan on coming out as aro to 'cause they are alredy scares enough that no man would want me, and if I do I'd have to explan that I want a queer-platonic relationship and that I'd be okay with an open relationship. They hope it's just a phase and cling to the fact that the women on my mom's side of the family have a history of low libido and that I have a few problems with my ovaries, nothing serious, they were just underdeveloped when I hit puberty and didn't got to much better since. I wanna do some blood check and see my estrogen levels 'cause the signs point to it being low. In my questioning period I considered if it's just a hormonal problem, it was the main thing that keept me in the closet for that long. Now I know that sex hormones don't influence your atraction to much. The libido is in the body, the attraction is in our mind, and I don't have any, and I'm perfectly okay with that
Now definitely in my mid-40s, it would be all too easy to become one of those bitter 'old' queers I knew growing up. Instead, I want to be happy for the up and coming generations. I wish someone had told me some 30-odd years ago that not only was asexuality a thing, it was perfectly valid; I would have saved myself - and others - a lot of heartache along the way.
Thank you for your video, Lynn xx
I think I've discovered that I'm asexual, But I'm not sure yet.
My husband cheated after 10 months of marriage and four years of relationship. His reasoning was I don't give him enough sex. Once a month just wasn't enough and I have to force myself to do that. While I would like to cuddle, I could talk to him for hours. But no sex. It's not that I don't have a libido. But don't think about him in that way. And for him the topic of masturbation or sex toys is an absolute taboo.
Since we've been separated I've only missed him on a romantic and emotional level but not in a sexual sense. We tried reconciling but I have to admit he could also just be my best friend and that would be okay. But because trust has still not been restored.
Where did you get that awesome backdrop?
I think I'm mostly asexual. I don't want to put it in the LGQBTQ spectrum though. If i "come out" to someone as asexual, I'd get at worst a blank stare or confusion. homosexuals, transsexuals etc don't have it near that easy. Asexuals are very compatible with homosexuals and can often pretend to be that even without really hurting themselves.
🖤🤍💜
35 and finally accepting it.
Thank you. I just watched a video about asexuality where they literally talk about sex favorable aces in the beginning and then act like asexuality = sex repulsion the rest of the video.
its just so annoying.
Like ive been asexual my whole life. Ive never even been sex averse. Ever. But im "supposed" to hate sex? Or im not ace? So annoying.
And people "knowing" about asexuality doesnt necessarily mean they actually KNOW what it is. Thats the other thing. Bc great, a straight person recognized the sticker. But did they assume it indicates that person doesnt like sex? Bc thats how the majority of people see it. And thats usually what they assume.
I have been ace my entire life. I have never experienced sexual attraction. That is why I'm ace. I get that most ace people may not like sex (who knows what the actual numbers are), but even if thats true, WHY is it okay for people to just erase that sex favorable aces exist (including other aces honestly) just so that people outside the ace community "know" about asexuality. Thats not spreading real awareness if what people grasp onto is misinformation.
You didnt do that, im just so tired of seeing it. So tired. Ive never had a problem with not experiencing sexual attraction. Ive never struggled with that aspect of myself. I was bullied (for being ace...but ace people apparently dont experience what other lgbt people do lmao), but never saw myself as what was wrong.
Something I have struggled with is the fact that I've known that im asexual for years now, and misconceptions about what it is never seem to go away. I am almost always told that i CANT be ace if i actually enjoy sexual activity. (Ive been hypersexual pretty much all my life as well. It's not contradictory just bc people refuse to try and see asexuality as an actual sexual orientation)
The conversation about asexuality always (ALWAYS) seems to revolve around how hating sex is universal to all aces (or being indifferent).
Its never not about that. Never. Like i cant stress enough how i cant find a single video (other than this one and like one other where the person is focusing the convo about sex positive and sex favorable aces), where its actually acknowleded that asexuality doesnt have a single thing to do with a persons relationship to sex. A person could have ANY relationship to sex and still be ace. Just as with any of the other sexual orientations.
Sorry for venting. It just always happens. Its at the point where i feel like i have to defend my sexual orientation on videos/posts that are supposed to be spreading awareness. Just yesterday i had someone tell me that the definition of asexuality is literally "not liking sex". Someone said that to me on a comment thread where the original comment went something like "asexuality is so simple to understand. Have you ever felt like not having sex? For an asexual, thats every day"
Im paraphrasing but that comment has 3k likes.
People think theyre helping aces out by spreading this misinformation. And im so flipping tired of it.
People think barbie is ace bc margot robbie said she wouldnt/couldnt feel sexual desire bc she doesnt have sex organs.
I love the barbie is ace hc, but how popular that post got really proved to me how bad the state of ace awareness is when someone saying "she wouldnt feel sexual desire" makes thousands of people say "margot robbie just said ace rights with her whole chest" as if not wanting to have sex is a univeral ace trait.
You know what, thats something. I would LOVE if people understood that sexual attraction and sexual desire are not the same thing. Sexual attraction is what all sexual orientations are based on. Its attraction. Dk how else to describe that. Looking at someone and thinking they're hot.
Sexual desire is literally just desire for sex. Wanting sex and experiencing sexual attraction can mix, especially for allos, but they are not the same thing and they do not require each other. An ace person ABSOLUTELY can (not that they will or have to but CAN) feel desire for sex.
Libido and sexual attraction are not the same thing. Libido and sexual desire are not even the same thing. Someone could have a really high libido and zero desire to do anything about it (someone with high libido could even hate sex). Or someone could enjoy sex but not have a huge need to do it bc their libido is low.
Its all unique. People are different. Asexual people have one thing in common with each other and thats low to no sexual attraction (or feeling sexual attraction in specific circumstances such as with demisexuality). THAT is the universal ace experience. Not hating or being squicked by sex.
I really feel for any ace person thats had a bad experience with telling someone or someone finding out that they dont like sex. Its similar (not the same but similar) to the discrimination same gender sexual relations are treated imo. Its definitely part of someone experiencing oppression for being ace. But its not universal. Just like me being ace while also experiencing being hypersexual is definitely not universal.
But while i am constantly yelling into the void that asexuality is not about hating sex, im never denying the existence of aces that do
Whereas when people (ace themselves or otherwise) say that asexuality is synonymous with "just not feeling the need" to have sex or outright hating it, they are erasing all the aces like me that definitely are in the community too.
Really long comment but i have been fighting about this for days now and i actually feel like this is a safe space.
Wow, such persecution. They should put you in the history books next to Rosa Parks.
@@transwomenaremale never said anything like that. Do you actually want to engage in conversation? Clearly not, based on your username alone, but maybe you do.
Oppression is not a competition. People have different experiences based on who they are and how they are percieved by society. My experience can't be compared to Rosa Parks. I am 100% aware of that.
Idk who you are or what youre going through. Im sorry you feel the need to go onto the post of someone who is clearly hurting, just to try to hurt them more. Congratulations. You succeeded.
Whatever youre suffering through, i hope you have support.
Also, trans women are women
@@_em. Transwomen are men. Women are adult human females. Transwomen are objectively male. They are excluded from the category of women.
@@transwomenaremale never said a single word about whether anyone was male or not. Gender and biological sex are not and have never been the same thing. I know you don't believe that, but its the truth. What I said was trans women are women, because they are. Whether they are bad or good people. What about intersex people? They exist. A woman is an adult human that identifies as a woman.
@@_em. Except the words woman and man don’t refer to genders they refer to sex. A woman is an adult human female, differentiated from the juvenile human female, which has its very own word - girl. A man is an adult human male, differentiated from the juvenile human male, also known as the boy.
In other words the words woman and man not only separate the adults from the children but they separate human females and males from those of other species.
For instance, just like how we use the word woman for the adult human female, we use the word mare for the adult female horse and the word filly for the juvenile female horse. We use the word stallion for an adult male horse and the word colt for a juvenile male horse.
Prior to the woke mob seizing control of society, including our language, everyone knew that a woman was an adult human female - a biological reality, not a feeling or an “identity”. Open any dictionary - the first definition of the word woman will be some variation of adult human female. THAT is the truth.
Disagree? Define the word woman in a way that’s tangible and meaningful, and not circular at all.
Transwomen are men, because men are adult human males and transwomen are adult human males.
And why are you bringing intersex into this? We’re not talking about them.
Also if gender and sex aren’t the same thing why does “gender affirming medical care” consist of the alteration of the body’s primary and secondary sex characteristics?
How about 70 😊❤ Finding this term explained my life
I just came to terms with the fact I’m ace. I’m in a relationship with my partner and we’ve been together for 9 months now. We live together in his parents house. I’m really scared to tell him bc idk how he’s gonna react. Idk if he’s gonna want to break up bc sexual stuff is important to him. Like I’m so happy ik this about myself but agh
I really like that background, what is it from?
Just search for subtle asexual flag backgrounds. It comes up close to the top
What do you mean by not going to have the same kind of experience as someone who is heterosexual and hetero romantic? How does it express and how do you know?
At a party I was approached be 2 women who ask me why I wasn't interested in sex. I told them to run the hands over their arms, barely touching the hairs there. "That's what I feel whenever I so much and touch another person."
can I please have a link to that wallpaper?
Don't call others part of the "queer community" that don't want to be, it's just your opinion. I don't experience any romantic or sexual attraction but I'm not queer and definitely not part of some supposed queer community.
Casually stealing your PC wallpaper
Aroace!
I don’t know what I am porn addiction got me confused.
14:11 If you shouldn't exist, than neither I, and most people here. But I'm glad we do. You helped me, and many others, in the ace journey
plot twist i woke said im asexual now
Can make a video about how to know if you're trigender not trans tri like people who have 3 genders
Asexual who are Negative can over come this?
I'd guess asexual women get the line "you just didn't have a man who properly satisfies you yet" all the time...
by choice my choice my voice
You kind of lost me at "having sex with somebody but not being attracted to them.” Yea, people do that but I wouldn’t consider it good… I’m pansexual myself so I do my best not to I guess judge and I try my best to understand but a sexuality is one of those things I will genuinely never understand.
A common one for alloaces: If I have a partner I love very much, and want to be more emotionally close to, sex is a way to do that. And it usually makes them happy, and their happiness is something I enjoy.
Some people like sex, but cannot feel sexual attraction. Like if I enjoy playing games, but no game catches my eye.. I still want to, but there is none that I feel attracted to.
I NOT Sexual attraction to LGBTQIA+
Didn't know asexual is apart of queer
Is that right?
hi! i just wanted to let you know that what you do is incredibly important and helpful to so many people including myself. you seem like a very lovely person and i’m grateful to you for sticking up for our community🤍
Close Lynn. The word that defies the Heterosexuals it is Heteronormativity ❤
Cake, dragons, and Denmark 😂😂😂
Don't forget garlic bread, axolots and world domination
P.S. Asexuals are 1% of the world, but considering all the allies that will support us in our conquest there is no way we can't take over Denmark, than the whole Europe, than the world 🌐
Hush hush! Don't give away our secret Ace agenda!
Oh OK, so I am not asexual. I dont like sex at all.
That may still fall under asexual. It's all based on attraction, not enjoyment.
I rather dislike all the micro-labels. As a noob to Asexuality, I find them off-putting; as if I haven't been divvied up into a smaller group, now it ges smaller again? They may seem very simple and clean-cut to vets, or virgin asexuals, they may even help some people, but it's taken me years because I was afraid of being alone, even among allies.
But it's not about the size of the group of peers, but rather finding words to describe the plethora of human experience. I find them really helpful. But also use different labels depending on the audience. Not everyone knows all the microlabels and for them the umbrella term will be much more useful. But not everyone within that umbrella has the same shared experience. In any case even if the group is small, doesn't mean you are alone. And even if you are alone in what you feel, doesn't mean it's not valid. We are individuals with distinct experiences after all.
You willingly divvied yourself into that group, nobody did it for you.
I'm slightly confused at what your issue is with me not wanting to have sex, Mister "I'm only anti Trans".
@@hyenaholicproductions9033 My issue is that you seem to have based your entire life around it. Guess what? I have no desire to have sex either. I simply don’t care. I can take care of my needs myself. Am I on here whining about “microlabels” and being put into boxes? No. It’s really a non-issue.
And why did you call me Mr? Did you just assume my gender?
@@transwomenaremale Yeah, I just assumed your gender, the way people have often assumed mine.
And I just love how you're calling me finding microlabels being off-putting 'whining'.
Sorry to disagree but no one is “born this way” the desires and attractions we have are born of our personalities which are an accumulation of all of our life experiences and our reactions to them. Sexuality is absolutely a choice, and that’s ok. Deluding yourself to believe a lie is not.
Actually there is science to it. Depending on what how much different types of hormones the baby is exposed to in the womb. Research it
I think Asexual shouldn't be part of LGBT. Because.. what's bothering asexuals? They can choose not to have sex. It's ok. They have the right not to. Why they being labeled under that lgbt thing? It is the lack of sexual attraction.
LGBTQIA+ is anyone who isn’t straight. Bc we’re in the minority. Asexuals are very much oppressed and have to overcome a lotttt.
How about: l have a headache and would rather stay dry on this rainy day than engage in sweaty bio-mechanical fluid exchange with the 100% predictable outcome.