It is also traditional to present asexual people with cake when they come out. (It's an old tradition from the mid 2000s online ace culture on the AVEN forums, where people would respond to new aces coming out with cake related image replies, and has continued to now be cake gifs, emojis, ect. Cake is also an appropriate coming out gift for aces irl, too.)
Cake is the oldest asexual symbol for 'sex is cool and all, but have you tried ___?' Basically aces would rather have cake than sex in every instance lol. One that came after that was dragons. Why have sex when you could have a DRAGON or why be sexual when you could be a badass dragon? More recently, garlic bread has become an ace symbol. Garlic bread is very much better than sex. Black rings are a sign of asexuality within the community. Worn on the middle of the right hand, it means you're asexual. Worn on the middle of the left, it shows you're asexual and aromantic. It's a cool way to find fellow aces in the wild.
I would like to know how to tell people im grayace and grayaro with a possibility of demi Because I dont want to completely say that ill never have a romantic/sexual relationship
@@nicomoist5336 thats alright! Some people spend their whole lives just learning more about themself! Personally i believe at this point that Im Demisexual
Telling an asexual person that they just haven't found the right person yet is like telling someone who is allergic to cats that they just haven't found the right cat yet. It makes. No. Fucking. Sense.
Just in case someone tries to actually counter you with it: People with cat allergies are usually actually allergic to the dander and are just fine with hairless cats. Some can even handle particularly short-haired breeds. 'Course, in this context, that's not really a valid or relevant counter-argument. It just misses the point.
But there can be "the cat" that you are not allergic to, as the allergy is a reaction to proteins in the saliva and sometimes a cat can exist that does not produce that or those protein(s). It is possibly. So no allergic reaction cat might be more like an ace discovering they are demi
It think this might make the cat analogy almost better. Especially if you're allergic to cats and aren't much of a "cat person". People who love cats find this difficult to fathom. Cats are alright, but they impair my breathing and frankly I think the people who get all crazy about cats are much cuter than the cats themselves. My, let's say complictated and mostly disinterested, relationship to sex, and my cat allergy and scepticism of cats, very similarily makes dating a BIT of a hassle. My motives for attempting to accomodating sex or cats into my life would be almost entirely related to wanting a relationship with a specific person, not the sex or the cat itself. I get that for others maybe some other allergen might be more suitable. I just wanted to insert that I found this analogy very relatable ^^'
wow, yeah, my stepson is ace with no sense of smell, too! I'm aroace and I define that as a lack of any gendered orientation, which is a bit different.
Explaining the cake thing: We often generalize the fact that eating good food is better than sex, so cake and garlic bread (among other things) as very popular feel-good foods have become symbols of asexuality. It's like tea drinkers vs. non-tea drinkers, many of the non-tea drinkers believe coffee is better than tea, thus coffee is often associated with people who don't drink tea.
The cake thing is literally just. cake is good. I don’t want sex. I want cake. Same thing with garlic bread and dragons. Edit: I’m a disgrace to the ace-spec community. I forgot space and plants.
I mean... it is tho. So much so when I was younger I was worried I wasn't actually ace, but just really liked the flag and blurred the two together for that reason. Turns out, yep, Ace as hell and Aro to boot.
I always thought having a crush wasn't actually a thing people did and just an exaggeration. I also thought sending nudes was a meme for a very long while. Yeah I had that proven wrong in a way that was extremely uncomfortable.
Hah. I thought that's what everyone was doing and it weirded me out. I was too much an odd duck to begin with to 'play along' and consequently received a lot of head scratching and the usual "Everyone likes SOMEONE" comments.
Thiiiis!! There was basically a corkboard in my mind with thumbtacks and strings all trying to figure out what the socially acceptable answer to "so who do you like?" or "Who's your celebrity crush?" was. For celebs, I ended up either saying I liked fairly obscure British actors or giving what I'm pretty sure is the most demisexual answer of all time, "I want to marry Samwise Gamgee." 😆
As a kid I thought “liking” people was necessary and now I know that I’m a little older I understand. I find people attractive, but I don’t feel romantic attraction until I know the other person thinks I’m attractive as well. It’s hard to explain. Basically I just don’t feel attracted until I feel it back I guess?
that sounds familiar to demiromantic or grayromantic but what feels best to you is best, and you don’t need a label if you don’t want one! pick your poison friend :)
I think i heared about something similar to this. So i share Recipromantic: someon who does not experienc romantic attraction unless they know that the other person is romanticaly attracted to them first. Hope this helps😊
As pretty much everyone else replying to this, I also think this sounds something on the aroace spectrum, I’m not the one to tell you how to identify yourself, and neither is anyone else but yourself, but I hope you find an identity you feel comfortable with! :D
Fun story! My great aunt (who’s in her 70s) asked me what asexual meant. I explained and she realized that she’s actually ace. She had been in few romantic relationships and was never interested in a sexual relationship. This proves that asexuality isn’t just a new trend or whatever
I think maybe for some ace people in the past, like Mediaeval Europe, it made joining a religious order a particularly good choice- & since chastity was so highly regarded, some ace people may have been admired for that... not that ace people invariably want 100% lifetime chastity, but not being "tormented by the demon of lust" would have been seen as a good thing- even tho LGBT _identities_ in general didn't exist, LGBT _people_ obviously did...
@@wordforger That's really interesting! I seem to recall he wasn't a fan of women & marriage- was he the guy who said "better to marry than to burn, but better not to marry at all"?
@@wordforger Yeah, like most historical figures, the _concept_ of asexuality didn't exist for him to think about, & if we time-travelled & explained it in a morally neutral way, we can't know if he'd say "yep, that's me", but even tho I'm very tentative about such things, what he said sounds a _lot_ like asexuality (note: I'm not ace), & it's easy to imagine him identifying as ace today (apart from the prejudice Christianity often has against LGBT+ people.)
To add to the perfume analogy, being demi is kinda like that, except one day someone you care about deeply makes their own perfume and suddenly you can smell it, but only that specific perfume. And then everyone sees this and starts spraying more perfume in your face saying "See? You could smell all along!" but you still can't smell any of their perfumes. It's just the one made by the person you care about and you still really wish everyone else would stop spraying other perfumes in your face.
As a grayace, it's like this: You can't smell perfume 99.999% of the time, but the .0001% you DO smell it, people tell you that you could smell it all along.
Have just realised my sexuality (asexuality) at 50. So wish all of these memes (and discussion) had been around when I was younger. My life would have made so much more sense!
@@peppermintmum3177 Dragon hordes. (lot of Aces tend to have collections they're very passionate about) Also dragons are one of the mythological creatures that aren't connected with sexual attraction in some way.
As an asexual, seeing anyone who’s not ace make a video about it always puts me instinctively on edge. But it’s always nice when it’s a positive video of folks educating themselves and/or appreciating the memes, so thank you for this lovely bit of my day
I'm a 42 y/o ace... I used to get in the whole "you just need to find the right guy" thing when I was younger. It took my mother many years to get used to the idea of me never expanding the family tree.
Just for those who wanted a copy paste Being asexual is like being born without a sense of smell but everywhere you go people are spraying perfume in your face and when you ask them to stop and tell them it’s irritating and you can’t smell the perfume anyway they get huffy and respond with “don’t lie to me; I can clearly see you have a nose. Everybody has a nose and therefore everybody smells things and besides maybe you just haven’t found the right scent yet”. And then you want to scream.
Seriously this is my family at me. But also, it isn’t just Ace who get this spiel sadly, Aro people get it too and it’s extremely annoying when your Aro/Ace so you suffer with both sides.
Friendly reminder that being ace doesn’t mean you hate sex, it means a lack of attraction. You can be ace and have a high libido, or be bisexual and have a low libido and be sex repulsed. It just happens that ace people are more commonly sex repulsed than any other Orientations.
Me: pan and not a fan of sex. Or should I say: the idea of having sex brings me anxiety and even makes me feel physically ill. For me, this mostly comes from trauma, having been forced too often to count, having sex thrown in my face at any time without warning, without consent, and without even waiting until I was old enough for it. I can imagine this might happen to asexuals too, especially when people try to "cure them" or "prove asexuality isn't real" Even just reading about these things happening can traumatise people, so I'm not surprised that it's so common in the ace community.
I like to compare it to hunger and appetite. Libido is like hunger a purely physical reaction of your body asking for certain things. Sexual attraction and appetite are your body not necessarily needing those things, but you mentally want them. Sometimes hunger goes without appetite (standing in front of the fridge, hungry, but not really wanting to eat anything) and appetite without hunger (just having eaten, but that desert just looks awesome). And the same goes for libido and sexual attraction. You can have one without having the other.
@@MissEarthling unfortunately, it's very common for people who were AFAB to experience these things. I'm much better now, though. Learning where this trauma comes from has helped me move on from my past, and makes me want to fight for young people everywhere to not have to go through the same things I went through.
Heterosexual: You're standing on one leg Homosexual: You're standing on the other Bisexual: You're standing on both Pansexual: You're lying on the ground Asexual: You're levitating Basically, asexuals are magical. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Sexualities as doors Heterosexual: door swings one way Homosexual: door swings the other way Bisexual: door swings both ways Pansexual: revolving door Demisexual: door is locked, one person has key Asexual: door is automatic Asexual/Aromantic: door is actually a wall edit: spell check didn't know demisexual >:( edit 2: changed asexual, added asexual/aromantic (thanks @ThouArtWhatThouArt !)
Reminder that ace people can still experience romantic attraction! So for the door analogy, you could just say that for ace people, the door is automatic; it doesn't require touch to let you in :) And then aroace would be the wall!
Should've realized I was ace when I went to the library and said "do you guys have any books without romance?" And this lady legit comes back with 12 WW2 books. What... Crazy just how much unnecessary romance books and movies have
Right?! Books, movies, songs?! I can enjoy a good tragic romance, but in every story? Can the will they won't they friends ever just stay friends? Does the super hero need to also fall in love?
I mean, I did find a WW2 book with a little bit of romance... like, a character had a crush on the main character, but he didn't reciprocate, he just found her kinda creepy and went on with the story
"So I'm thinking of these two intellectual 1900s women bucking social norms by going into science, but also being really emotionally close..." "Eh, a period piece about smart secret lesbians? Kinda cliche, isn't it?" "No, that's it, they're close... Just friends." "IMPOSSIBLE"
Ok, but the idea of “dating” app for ace people is such a good idea, considering how most “regular” app of this kind are filled with sexual offers to the point that ace people can’t feel comfortable.
There are ace dating apps, but there’s not enough people using them for there to be much success. I looked at one and in my area there were only a few people on it and none of them had a romantic orientation that aligned, that’s before getting to if we even had any common interests. I wonder how many ace people have just given up on romantic interest as well.
@@katiecrooked instead of giving up, since I've never even met another ace irl, I just got used to sex. It's not really my thing and I wish it didn't take that much time in a relationship, but it's kinda interesting in a weird way and I now can definitely bear it.
@@katiecrooked And that's why I'm glad that the big dating apps now allow you to select "asexual" as a sexuality. Hasn't helped me on the apps at all, but it's a start. I found another ace on Hinge, but they never responded either, so you run into the same things anyway.
As the only son of conservative (albeit not entirely close-minded) parents, I've never truly been able to think about gender and other socially relevant topics until a very small number of years ago. This channel, which I discovered only recently, has been helping me quite a lot to understand the nuances of gender and related subjects. Watching this video in particular, made me 100% sure that I'm under the asexual umbrella. Seriously, Jammi, words cannot express how grateful I am to you, for helping me to better understand both the world and myself 😁 P.S Sorry for the long comment, but the happier I am, the more I write 😌
@@underthetable73 After five long months of self-discovery, not even I relate to the "son" part, at least not as much as I did when I wrote the original comment! Speaking of writing, I'm about to write A LOT of stuff down below, because I'm eager to share with you (and anyone else, really) some information that I learned in the past half year, and might help you in your own journey. Please read if you have the time and energy to do so: I have Asperger's, so I tend to get "a little" wordy and overexcited when I write/talk about things I like 😅 -------------------------------------------------- I've been identifying as nonbinary (they/he) for the past few months, partly because of RUclipsrs (in particular Jammi, One Topic at a Time, Lilly Alexander and Kross), but also because of books on History, Anthropology and other subjects. The main takeaway I got from all of those books and videos, as well from many other past experiences, was that identities are always changing. That being said, it's totally ok to doubt yourself from time to time and experiment using (privately or in public) different labels of gender, sexuality etc. to refer to yourself, even if you end up discarding them later. In the end, what matters is that, eventually, you learn to accept your own fluidity and start living in relative peace with yourself, never losing the drive to improve, but trying just as hard to make sure it doesn't turn into Impostor Syndrome. That philosophy (which I'm struggling to successfully implement in my daily life, but at least I'm trying) is kind of why I chose nonbinary as my current gender label: it's my way to remind myself that identities are neither black-and-white nor set in stone, while also relieving myself from a huge chunk of that socially constructed urge we all have (and will always have, to some extent) to live according to arbitrary standards of masculinity, femininity etc. That's just my take on the matter, though. Please, do both of us a favor, and be yourself. Warm greetings from Brazil 🤗
@@sidereaper2810 I do plan to write for a living: I'm a History undergrad, and my goal is to write books, papers, brochures etc. that'll entertain and educate people at the same time. I want my readers to engage with the past, and with the lessons we can learn from it, as much as I do! 😁
As an elderly Asexual, finding out I was Asexual in my mid-50s, I can honestly say that your wonderful support of this community is AWESOME! Also, we wear black rings on our right middle fingers to identify us as Asexuals to others. It's sort of a code style thing.
My response to the perfume thing would be" I'm allergic to perfume". I'm a 57 year old Trans guy who's Asexual and quite happy to be so, even though I found out that being Asexual was something real while watching the afternoon news only about seven years ago. I spent so much of my life thinking I was just weird until there was a news story about it that described me perfectly. Videos like this are a great way to help people understand and accept themselves and it's a great feeling when you realize that you're not alone. I've learned so much about myself and my transition from your videos and I really enjoyed this one today. These videos really help so many people, thanks.
i'm also an asexual trans man! (i'm aro too) and they helped me a lot to figure out myself, i'm 19 but i found out two years ago about it, i'm happy to see others like me
@@saix_unicorn I'm aroace and it sounds weird but I realized last year because of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. 😅 He's a really cool character, so I did research on him and found that he was aroace (or at least ace) and that made me go down a research rabbit hole about the topic. I'm so glad I did, because I can feel proud of myself and not base my "success" in life around stuff that doesn't matter to me! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
@@AnotherRandomChannel13 that's exactly for this reason we need more queer characters! :) i'm really happy you found out this abt yourself! welcome to the team! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
Funnily enough, I (23 year old afab nonbinary person on the ace spectrum) seemingly inherited some level of my mother's genuine perfume allergy. I get too close to people with the wrong perfumes, and my respiratory system gets VERY unhappy. Fun fact no one asked for!
As an ace person who is sexually active and who's neutral to the thought of sex I'm thankful that little comic included that aspect of the ace spectrum because it's often overlooked
Even as someone who fits the stereotypical image of an ace person in a lot of ways, I find it annoying when people assume I'm sex-repulsed or are not generally inclusive of the other parts of our community.
I was holding my breath, afraid that the sex favourable among us wouldn't be included. I was also worried about aromantic being overlooked because they did the 'but we can still love romantically' line. Was really glad when both were included.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm a hopeless romantic too and I'm literally sooo afraid that I'll never ever find the right person because of that 😅 I'm afraid that my expectations in a relationship are way too high... but I can't help being hopelessly romantic and demi 😅 I feel like I should live in a cliché romantic novel or so 😂 Lots of love to you! ❤
You will find the person that will understand that and love you for it. I was lucky enough to find a guy that has been with me through my journey of getting that I wasn't just not ready for sex, I might never want it. Through my fear of relationships, And then figuring out that I'm demisexual. And through it all they have showered me with flowers and words of love, and most recently a ace flag sticker for my birthday. You can be highly romantic and asexual! Don't let society tell you how a relationship is suppose to be, buy a bunch of books or anime and Binge read or watch throughout the night. Cuddle on the couch and then bid your partner goodnight. Live your beat life!
the "YES GET THAT D QUEEN- wait no" conversation is exactly one i would have with my best friend,, like she has no clue but she is sooo supportive all the time! ps asexual people are valid! 💜
Okay an asexual here to explain. There’s a huge common joke in the community with either cake or garlic bread. It’s essentially “I would rather eat cake/garlic bread than do the nasty” but when there’s no context I can see how that’s confusing. Pretty much every asexual knows this joke and partakes in it because it’s hilarious to us.
As we may never have children of our own, we are gifted with the powers of dad jokes from a young age, and with growing up with them, we perfect the art.
“No shrex for two years for 700 million” Youths, asexuals, unmarried religious folks, and people who aren’t very hee hoo feeling: I am four parallel universes ahead of you.
Important: not all asexual people experience absolutely no sexual attraction. I experience sexual attraction, but it's very rare and only after I develop an emotional connection. I'm demisexual which is under the asexual umbrella.
Ace rings are a symbol in the Ace community, similar to how the earring is known in the gay one. A black ring on the middle finger of your right hand symbolizes Asexuality, while (lesser known) a white ring on the middle finger of the left hand symbolizes Aromantizism. As an Ace/Aro I wear both! And one of my friends recently asked me about it, and when I said that she said "oh that's cool I have one too but I don't wear mine so often" so that's how I found out how my friend of 4 years was a fellow Ace lol
Yep! I feel like its kinda like a secret sign to identify fellow aces and supporters! Getting my Ace ring soon and I'll be on the lookout for my fellow ace gang :D
hi! i’ve known i was asexual for a few years now, but only found out about being demiromantic a few months ago is there a ring to wear for being demiromantic or should i wear the white ring? or maybe just not wear one? :/
If there is any weebs here, just know that the R-rated hero Midnight wears black rings on her middle fingers in her hero costume. Just the smal details in life that make one smile.
@@toxic_thoughts_xx2673 Haha lol! You can definitely prefer those things without being asexual, but you'll have to determine how you want to identify for yourself!
I didn’t know about the dragon one until I read this and I immediately started smiling because of how I’ve always liked dragons and I looked around my room to find I had one dragon on all of my walls and technically the floor (like drawings and pictures). So since I’m asexual can I have my dragon now?
ON CAKE AND RINGS: the ace community chose a ring like 15 years ago to represent our orientations and like signal others - a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand :) As for cake, we just have jokes about how we’d rather eat cake than have sex, also dragons are a thing - we get more excited about dragons than sex, and a strong love of garlic bread is also just starting to come through... 😂
Of all the wonderful realisations that came with figuring out I'm ace, that our flag is so aesthetically pleasing is one of the best. So lucky. Well done whoever designed it.
The cake thing is just a meme that came from someone saying they would rather eat cake than have sexual intercourse. Naturally, because it is a meme, we, aces, use it all the time.
Here's a list to understating asexual memes and stuff: Aces is what many asexuals call asexual people. Also ace is short for asexual. Aces are said to be dragons or to just really like them. Aces use black rings on the middle finger on their right hands to help discreetly identify each other as ace but it is not a requirement. Aces are said to love cake and garlic bread because they are "way better than sex". That character from bojack horseman is named Todd and is one of the very rare characters to be canonically ace. That's just a few.
I love Todd!!!! Bojack actually did an incredible job representing asexuality (Spoilers if you haven't seen it!!!) Not only is one of their main characters ace, it also shows him learning about it himself and getting comfortable using it as a label, talks about all the different types and how some aces have sex/masturbate and have relationships, and he's also not the only ace character on the show!! Theres at least 2 side characters and they show multiple frequently seen background characters going to an asexual meet up he's apart of!! It's so cool
Okey, so i need a ring for mi middle finger and another for my chubby finger? (Bisexual people use a ring in the chubby finger, right hand if you are in a relationship and left hand if you are single)
i'm in the "i grew up thinking sexual attraction is a fake thing that people made up for movies" club. i was so confused when i heard some people actually experiences sexual attraction
As an aromantic, I had the same with crushes too. At age 22 I realised that it's not just a cheap trope to generate tension in a work of fiction, and honestly, I still can't quite believe it.
Im asexual aromantic and I thought crushes were you just chose someone. Then my friends tarted talking about their crushes and how they make them feel and I was like "Wait! You don't just chose someone to say is your crush?"
Pretty sure the latter half of my teens was just me being constantly surprised every time a friend or acquaintance told me they’d had sex and actually wanted that. I think I realised around 19 that I was the unusual one xD;
Yes! Same here. And people's desperate talk about how they NEED a partner was also something I thought was made up or exaggerated until I realised I'm Asexual
oh same!! and how people get crushes on celebrities?? it took me a while to realize that some people actually are sexually attracted to celebrities...i thought people had crushes on celebs because they were pretty and aesthetically pleasing to the eyes
i’ve never seen you on youtube before and this video warmed my heart, i’m asexual myself, so watching someone talk about us in such a lovely manner was sooo nice
(for clarification, the "Aces" in this instance are asking the "Aros" if they would be considered gods, and the "Aros" in this meme answer with yes) (Also would like to clarify I am ace)
If anything we Aces and Aros are even better then the old gods. Zeus did some pretty kinky and questionable things to fill that sensual urge. He turned into a bull, a swan, an eagle, and a shower of gold (that is to say a literal shower of gold) to procreate with multiple women and one man. So... there is your history lesson kids! Have a good time and eat your veggies.
7:39 THIS WARMS MY HEART AND MADE ME TEAR UP WHICH IS QUITE THE ACCOMPLISHMENT CAUSE I DONT USUALLY CRY AT STUFF LIKE THIS BUT JUST THE ACCEPTANCE ITS SO ADORABLE AND SWEET I CANT- My parents are accepting and all but just- *the note and the cake and the rings it's just like- they're so dang supportive and I love them*
Good for you!! LGBTQIA+ people have always existed, and I'm super happy to see that people who weren't able to be informed about their identities in the past are finding ways to identify themselves now. With love from an asexual gen-z person :)
Same thing for me, four years ago when I was 30. I've really come to realize and embrace that you're never too old to discover yourself. I'm still learning new things about myself.
I am in love with how obsessed Jamie is with the asexual flag. But seriously though, I am ace myself and it means so much to me that this video exists.
as someone who just found out they might be aro/ace after calling themselves panromantic for years because they wanted a close platonic connection with others (not influenced by gender) and thought they were aesthetically pleasing........ yeah basically
@@vivisectedstar I'm trying to work out whether I'm aro or pan, I know for a fact I'm ace, but I find it hard to tell whether the attraction I feel for people is romantic or not :)
I saw something and it was two people texting and it was: Person one: What are you doing Person two: I’m in bed eating cereal Person two: What would you do if I was there? Person one: .....Eat my cereal? Person two: What if you didn’t have your cereal? Person one: Go get my cereal?
The cake thing is a giant meme amongst asexuals - it kinda started with "If you're having s3x and you'd rather be eating cake, you're probably ace." A black ring on the middle finger of your right hand is a secret symbol between asexuals which has a deep meaning about solidarity and not getting married but it's mostly just you see someone with a black ring and go "OMG ARE YOU ACE TOO??" hope that helps :)
As someone who's just been recently coming to terms with his own asexuality... these memes have really been putting a lot of things into perspective about me growing up and... I'm finally beginning to realize why I could never hold a relationship down... or why some people thought I was gay because I didn't act overly horny around women the way they did.
Doesn't require one to be gay - what about bi or pan, or even otherwise straight in all settings but this one? Plenty of ways that threes can be mutual triangles.
as an ace, it was so validating to see this-- very many people don't recognise asexuality as an actual orientation, and among those that do, many try to say we don't belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. i really appreciate you including us on your channel :)
WTF, that's twisted. As a very sexual person, I am so sorry for the way ace & aro people are treated in the community. Of course you are welcome, just remember to step around the bigots and if they don't get out of your way, don't be afraid to crush their bigotty toes.
I had someone tell me "some people experience sexual attraction, others don't therefore ASEXUAL IS NOT A SEXUAL ORIENTATION YOU'RE JUST A NORMAL PERSON WANTING TO BE SPECIAL" I was.... So confused....
right? I hate being subly nudged out of lgbt spaces for being "basically straight" and nudged out of cis spaces because "smh loosen up i bet you'd really like it if you did it more"
I always felt like I can pass comfortably as a dysfunctional heterosexual. Then in my late thirties I realized that "comfortably" doesn't really describe a life long history of depression.
Jamie, please make an aromantic part two, please dont let us aces erase our Aro peeps, especially since a lot of these "ace" labelled posts are actually aro and it helps a lot to separate and provide a distinction between the two. (Please boost to get him to see this)
I have an ace-aro friend, and she's out to most people at school, and one day this kid said to her whilst she was eating chocolate nibbles "wait, so you like those chocolate nibbles more than real people?" and she paused for a second, then said "pretty much, yeah."
Honestly I’m asexual, got tired of answering why I don’t want sex that’s weird, I now reply ‘why do you want sex? That’s weird’ normally ends that conversation and we move on
I read these somewhere and they're my new internal anthems: Someone: "So who wears the pants in the relationship" Ace couple: "hopefully both of us" And then: "the only thing I'm f*cking is stupid"
i tell if someone is someone i should have a crush on if i think they would look nice on one of those Pinterest aesthetic boards its a foolproof system
Dragons are also popular icons in the Ace community. Basically, we'd rather talk about dragons than have sex. 🖤🤍💜 What we have as our horde varies from person to person.
When I was a kid, no one ever said the word asexual. I thought I was broken for decades. I didn't have a word for who I am until I was in my 40's, thanks to social media.
Lovely reminder for everyone: Asexuality is fluid, just as everything else is!! In short it just means you experience little to no sexual attraction. That "little" is very important, because some ace people can still have limited sexual attraction to people, or may want to have sex when they are in a close romantic relationship with someone. On the other end there's other ace people who feel no sexual attraction what so ever, and some are even sex repulsed entirely. It all depends on the person and how they specifically identify 🖤 (EDIT: Thank you all so much for the love and support on this, I've never had a comment of mine blow up like this, and the feedback in the replies has been extremely lovely and sweet. I'm so glad I could help spread light on the topic and help better educate some people. Again, thank you!! 💕)
Im Demi!! Sexual attraction only once very close to someone! Thank you for mentioning this, people dont seem to fully understand that Demisexual IS in fact different than "how its meant to work" or something like that
@@exist4046 I'm potentially Demi/Grey-ace myself!! I know I'm asexual but I haven't been out as such for very long so I'm still trying to figure it out completely (definitely not as easy as the first two times I've came out lol). Regardless I know how often asexuality gets boiled down to just those who are sex repulsed/don't feel any sexual attraction at all, which is extremely unfair and completely erases a large portion of the community. Those who still feel limited sexual attraction or want sex with close partners are just as valid as Asexuals that don't 💖
I actually have a silly guide for types of attraction because it took me until the covid era (at roughly age 24/25) to come to terms with being demi-pansexual. Here is the guide: Sexual attraction- "oh, gorgeous, must boink" Romantic attraction- "lovely human, must date" Platonic attraction- "friend shaped, take my familial affection" Aesthetic attraction- "oh, beautiful, moving on"
Two Asexuals sitting in a tree ... Bro I thought YOU brought the garlic bread Nah, pansexual did- You invited pansexual? Yeah, what about it? Bro, they probably got lost and ate the garlic bread-.... Oh sh-t Goddangit-
I once had a friend who was bi and trans. I figured they knew about the LGBTQ+ community so I listened to them. One time when I was twelve someone else was reading smut. I said I was going to leave and when they asked why I said that I was asexual. This “friend” said I wasn’t because you had to be 18 or older. I was forced to stay and listen to something that traumatised me. I knew I was asexual because everyone else my age was talking about sex and sexual crushes and I was busy getting platonic relationships confused with romantic ones and never having any sexual thoughts. I lied and pretended I had these feelings for 4 years, to this day I invalidate myself and cry. A sexuality is valid. Don’t hurt people the way people hurt me.
After literal years of seeing tumblr's rampant acephobia, seeing so much openness and positivity regarding asexuality really makes my heart so much lighter. I'm so glad there's still a robust ace community that hasn't been attacked into recloseting themselves, and I might actually join them. I've missed the kind acceptance, along with the cake and dragon jokes.
@@toniodejimi3905 I don't know if they improved, but this attitude on Tumblr is the reason I ended up leaving about four years ago. It's hard to believe it was still so recently.
I'll just drop the website AVEN:s (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) name here in case someone wasn't already aware of them :3 There's useful info there, and the forums are full of wholesome, ace people just vibing together :D
When my son told me he is asexual , all he said was I'm asexual just so you know , I gave him a big hug . He is not a big talker of feelings , though we do talk openly about anything. He is logical and to the point I love my boy
You sound like a wonderful parent! 💜✨ 🤗 Your son is very lucky to have grown up in an environment so full of love and respect that he felt comfortable enough to open up to you about this
As a young gal quite possibly on the asexual spectrum who is currently way too awkward and socially anxious to even consider going on a date, but who still daydreams about one day having a wife, I really appreciate a lot of the messages in this video! Who knows, maybe one day in my late twenties I'll be comfortable enough to go out, meet someone new, and forge a connection with them. Until then, I'll just work towards my other goal of living comfortably in the woods with a few cats ^^
I once helped this kid in middle school, the other boys were picking on him cause they would ask “do you like girls” and he would say no and they would call him gay and make fun of him and he would get pretty sad. So I talked to him and I was like “yo it’s ok to be gay” and he explained that he’s not gay and just really wasn’t interested in people like that so I asked if he was ace and he didn’t know what it was, to cut it short he’s a very happy ace and I am so proud :) Edit:I don’t usually comment but I’m happy I shared this story, honestly Asexual people just don’t get enough love ❤️
i remember before i realized i was asexual and i used to see those memes like "no sex for x amount of time can you do it?" and i always used to be like "that's not even hard, you dont HAVE to have sex all the time" the day i discovered that all that horniness was actually real and not a joke/meme and it was actually I who simply didnt possess it was an enlightening and frightening day, to say the least
*Wait, no, THAT'S ACTUALLY REAL?!! No it can't be THAT hard for other people not to have sex..... Can it?.... I mean Having sex too much can count as an addiction!... wha-? .... not being able to withstand from sex sounds like an odd medical condition if anything....* *OOF Whatever, I'm so glad I'm not dependent on it. Goodness imagine what a curse that would be!*
I was married for 17 years and I always thought that something was wrong with me because I just didn't really want to have sex or even ever feel arousal. That's not to say that I didn't love my husband, but I just didn't want to have sex. Of course, this was a big issue with my ex and ultimately led to a divorce. For many years I just thought something was wrong with me and that maybe it was a psychological issue, but now I know that I'm asexual and that it's okay. There isn't anything wrong with me. I now understand my sexual orientation and why I always tried to steer away from sexual contact. I feel so much better now that I know I am valid and there are so many other people who are just like me.
I don't understand why anyone would pick sex over cake. Cake is like pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still good. Sex (based on what I've heard?) can easily be pretty bad...
Everybody talks about the "trans-it" and all that but am I the only one who's ever freaked out over the word aromatic because I thought it was aromanitc?
another explanation that i haven't seen: while asexual people don't experience sexual attraction, we can still recognize "beauty" and can find someone pretty. that is actually called "aesthetic attraction". it's a pretty useful term even for allo (the cis of trans) people since finding things or people aesthetically pleasing is a thing you also experience. that distinction b/w "pretty" and "hot". you just have to conclude that ace people only feel the "pretty" feeling, and not the "hot" one.
Referring to allo as like cis to trans made me think of the phrase "assigned hetero at birth" and now I can't stop thinking about how true that actually is.
People: "You're gonna die a virgin!!"
Most Asexuals: "God I sure hope I do"
It's funny, before I learned I was ace, I told myself that I wouldn't mind dying a virgin 😂
The faster the better amirite🥵😎
TRUTH
Sex-repulsed asexual here!
I feel seen!
me lol
Two asexuals sitting in a tree . . . help us we are stuck
lmaoooo
_immediately gets ladder_
LMAO
One of my favorites
Nice profile picture
Marie Antoinette: "Let them eat cake"
Asexuals: **Polite Applause**
Underrated joke of the century
@@nathanzylbermann5391 it is trully inderrated
Brilliant
Edidy lizard (I think that’s how you spell his name ) “cake or death” asexuals “cake please” him “let them have cake🎂”
GlaDOS "The cake is a lie."
Asexuals: cries.
"Sexual Attraction makes you human"
Asexuals (including me): *WE'RE GODS*
🎶It's tough to be a god🎶
@@fishysc0okielife🎶but if you get the peoples' nod 🎶
(A questioning asexual here):
🎶count your blessings, keep ‘em sweet, that’s our advice!🎶
✨it’s great advice✨🎶
🎶Be a symbol of perfection
Be a legend
Be a cult 🎶
🎶take their praise take the collection as the multitudes exalt! 🎶
I *do* enjoy it here!
Hello 👋
Ello yes
We do too 😄😄
Hi ot! :D
yes
I'm using that perfume example forever
Oh hi Echo, fancy seeing you here
Didn't expect to see you here Echo!
By the way your doorknob example was better.
oh hi echo😁💜
:0 a wild echo!
The cake thing is a joke in the community: "Sex is fine but cake is better."
I love cake
_but have you seen the dragons_
/j
It is also traditional to present asexual people with cake when they come out. (It's an old tradition from the mid 2000s online ace culture on the AVEN forums, where people would respond to new aces coming out with cake related image replies, and has continued to now be cake gifs, emojis, ect. Cake is also an appropriate coming out gift for aces irl, too.)
i personally love garlic bread better
@@updated_autopsy_report dragons are poggers
it's a "joke" in the ace community that we would rather eat cake than have sex, tbh cake is delicious and we all love it
🎂
we simply know what's good
and garlic bread
@@rebel6301 yes
“I’d rather eat cake” is the saying I think
Cake is the oldest asexual symbol for 'sex is cool and all, but have you tried ___?' Basically aces would rather have cake than sex in every instance lol.
One that came after that was dragons. Why have sex when you could have a DRAGON or why be sexual when you could be a badass dragon?
More recently, garlic bread has become an ace symbol. Garlic bread is very much better than sex.
Black rings are a sign of asexuality within the community. Worn on the middle of the right hand, it means you're asexual. Worn on the middle of the left, it shows you're asexual and aromantic. It's a cool way to find fellow aces in the wild.
cake and garlic bread, what else do you need?
@@sylvie9562 Dragons and world dominatio-I mean a good book
@@47ratsinahoodie ohh yes-
I would like to know how to tell people im grayace and grayaro with a possibility of demi
Because I dont want to completely say that ill never have a romantic/sexual relationship
@@nicomoist5336 thats alright! Some people spend their whole lives just learning more about themself! Personally i believe at this point that Im Demisexual
“No sex for two years-“
Me, a 15 year old: *I am four parallel universes ahead of you*
I couldn’t of said it better
by the age of seventy one i will be the richest of all the world and also a virgin muahaha evil laughter
Me a 13 yr old
17 years on my part lol
ikr
Telling an asexual person that they just haven't found the right person yet is like telling someone who is allergic to cats that they just haven't found the right cat yet. It makes. No. Fucking. Sense.
Just in case someone tries to actually counter you with it: People with cat allergies are usually actually allergic to the dander and are just fine with hairless cats. Some can even handle particularly short-haired breeds.
'Course, in this context, that's not really a valid or relevant counter-argument. It just misses the point.
But there can be "the cat" that you are not allergic to, as the allergy is a reaction to proteins in the saliva and sometimes a cat can exist that does not produce that or those protein(s).
It is possibly. So no allergic reaction cat might be more like an ace discovering they are demi
Y'all chill with the counter-arguments you know what they meant.
Replace cat with peanut or something and you've got it.
It think this might make the cat analogy almost better. Especially if you're allergic to cats and aren't much of a "cat person". People who love cats find this difficult to fathom. Cats are alright, but they impair my breathing and frankly I think the people who get all crazy about cats are much cuter than the cats themselves. My, let's say complictated and mostly disinterested, relationship to sex, and my cat allergy and scepticism of cats, very similarily makes dating a BIT of a hassle. My motives for attempting to accomodating sex or cats into my life would be almost entirely related to wanting a relationship with a specific person, not the sex or the cat itself.
I get that for others maybe some other allergen might be more suitable. I just wanted to insert that I found this analogy very relatable ^^'
@@SomeOnlinePerson yes i have cat and allergies doesnt make sense
"Its so aesthetically pleasing"
me an ace: Oh yeah that's like a big part of it. You're getting it already.
Fr, the flag is so pretty
As an asexual person who has no sense of smell, I can confirm that the one about the perfume is 100% accurate in both instances
Omg I think I found my group cause that be me too fhnddkdk
That makes four of us, my friends!
...People spray perfume in your face?
wow, yeah, my stepson is ace with no sense of smell, too! I'm aroace and I define that as a lack of any gendered orientation, which is a bit different.
Same
You really aced this video
Hi
:O Zyphon watches JammiDodger?
This should be pinned
I was not expecting you here lol
Lol I love that
Someone: it's impossible to live a fulfilling life without sex
Aces: clearly you do not know about cake
And a 2000-piece Lego Creator Expert set!
It's all about the cake
Or garlic bread
Dragons
@@elizabethresurreccion7234 oh yes, I love dragons
Explaining the cake thing: We often generalize the fact that eating good food is better than sex, so cake and garlic bread (among other things) as very popular feel-good foods have become symbols of asexuality. It's like tea drinkers vs. non-tea drinkers, many of the non-tea drinkers believe coffee is better than tea, thus coffee is often associated with people who don't drink tea.
And also cakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is so good
@@lightrayy YES
@@earlgrey5114 what flavour ?
@@lightrayy Personally, red velvet/dark chocolate, you?
@@earlgrey5114 my nanny ( grandma, not maid ) is really good at making chocolate biscuit cake so probably that
The cake thing is literally just. cake is good. I don’t want sex. I want cake.
Same thing with garlic bread and dragons.
Edit: I’m a disgrace to the ace-spec community. I forgot space and plants.
And space, don't forget space.
YESSSSS 😍
@@therewillbefire1833 Wait... space is an ace thing too? How did I not realize sooner that I'm ace?
@@jay8569 SpAce Ace.
Garlic bread is bae, in a platonic wae
edit: garlic bread is mine i will give u slice if u polite
alternate title: Jamie Talks About How Aesthetically Pleasing the Ace Flag Is For 10 Minutes
Or how Ace-thetically pleasing it is?
@@PeteSchult ayeee
@@jewelsthecat5331 ayeeece
It is my favourite flag though, it's beautiful, just like the people
I mean... it is tho. So much so when I was younger I was worried I wasn't actually ace, but just really liked the flag and blurred the two together for that reason.
Turns out, yep, Ace as hell and Aro to boot.
When I was younger, I thought “having a crush” was arbitrarily picking the most conventionally attractive boy in my class...
I always thought having a crush wasn't actually a thing people did and just an exaggeration.
I also thought sending nudes was a meme for a very long while. Yeah I had that proven wrong in a way that was extremely uncomfortable.
Hah. I thought that's what everyone was doing and it weirded me out. I was too much an odd duck to begin with to 'play along' and consequently received a lot of head scratching and the usual "Everyone likes SOMEONE" comments.
Thiiiis!! There was basically a corkboard in my mind with thumbtacks and strings all trying to figure out what the socially acceptable answer to "so who do you like?" or "Who's your celebrity crush?" was.
For celebs, I ended up either saying I liked fairly obscure British actors or giving what I'm pretty sure is the most demisexual answer of all time, "I want to marry Samwise Gamgee." 😆
SAME
Same!
As a kid I thought “liking” people was necessary and now I know that I’m a little older I understand. I find people attractive, but I don’t feel romantic attraction until I know the other person thinks I’m attractive as well. It’s hard to explain. Basically I just don’t feel attracted until I feel it back I guess?
I think thats on the aroace spectrum. I've only started reading about it recently but it sounds familiar.
that sounds familiar to demiromantic or grayromantic but what feels best to you is best, and you don’t need a label if you don’t want one! pick your poison friend :)
I think i heared about something similar to this. So i share
Recipromantic: someon who does not experienc romantic attraction unless they know that the other person is romanticaly attracted to them first.
Hope this helps😊
As pretty much everyone else replying to this, I also think this sounds something on the aroace spectrum, I’m not the one to tell you how to identify yourself, and neither is anyone else but yourself, but I hope you find an identity you feel comfortable with! :D
No wonder the ace flag is so pretty. We love things that are aesthetically pleasing.
Yea- I'm a asexual and lesbian
Acethetic
Yes sir 🖖🏻
Yes! I'm Asexual and aromantic
@@robloxxxxxbreak1604 i think you mean asexual and homoromantic
Fun story!
My great aunt (who’s in her 70s) asked me what asexual meant. I explained and she realized that she’s actually ace. She had been in few romantic relationships and was never interested in a sexual relationship. This proves that asexuality isn’t just a new trend or whatever
I think maybe for some ace people in the past, like Mediaeval Europe, it made joining a religious order a particularly good choice- & since chastity was so highly regarded, some ace people may have been admired for that... not that ace people invariably want 100% lifetime chastity, but not being "tormented by the demon of lust" would have been seen as a good thing- even tho LGBT _identities_ in general didn't exist, LGBT _people_ obviously did...
@@beth7935 Hell, Paul of the New Testament may have been asexual if his letters are any indication. That's nigh 2000 year ago.
@@wordforger That's really interesting! I seem to recall he wasn't a fan of women & marriage- was he the guy who said "better to marry than to burn, but better not to marry at all"?
@@beth7935 Yep. And also indicated he didn't have that kind of burning passion. Sounds pretty asexual to me. Just saying.
@@wordforger Yeah, like most historical figures, the _concept_ of asexuality didn't exist for him to think about, & if we time-travelled & explained it in a morally neutral way, we can't know if he'd say "yep, that's me", but even tho I'm very tentative about such things, what he said sounds a _lot_ like asexuality (note: I'm not ace), & it's easy to imagine him identifying as ace today (apart from the prejudice Christianity often has against LGBT+ people.)
To add to the perfume analogy, being demi is kinda like that, except one day someone you care about deeply makes their own perfume and suddenly you can smell it, but only that specific perfume. And then everyone sees this and starts spraying more perfume in your face saying "See? You could smell all along!" but you still can't smell any of their perfumes. It's just the one made by the person you care about and you still really wish everyone else would stop spraying other perfumes in your face.
That is a great way to explain demisexuality! :0
As a grayace, it's like this:
You can't smell perfume 99.999% of the time, but the .0001% you DO smell it, people tell you that you could smell it all along.
This comment is very underrated and needs more attention
As being both demi and gray I can relate
OOOHHHHHH
OOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
THANK YOU now I know how to describe myself. Demi you say? Right I'm off scrolling through Wikipedia articles.
Have just realised my sexuality (asexuality) at 50. So wish all of these memes (and discussion) had been around when I was younger. My life would have made so much more sense!
At any age, happy self-discovery! 🖤🐺🤍💜 🎂
Ditto, hope you doing well.
The ace cake thing can simply be summarized as “Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you hade cake?”
Also garlic bread!
@@yukkihaps8025 Why not both
@@yukkihaps8025 i came here to say that but deep down, i knew someone already mentioned garlic bread :D
i know it's got nothing to do with food but dragons seem to be an ace thing too for some reason?
@@peppermintmum3177 Dragon hordes. (lot of Aces tend to have collections they're very passionate about) Also dragons are one of the mythological creatures that aren't connected with sexual attraction in some way.
As an asexual, seeing anyone who’s not ace make a video about it always puts me instinctively on edge. But it’s always nice when it’s a positive video of folks educating themselves and/or appreciating the memes, so thank you for this lovely bit of my day
I'm a 42 y/o ace... I used to get in the whole "you just need to find the right guy" thing when I was younger. It took my mother many years to get used to the idea of me never expanding the family tree.
Just for those who wanted a copy paste
Being asexual is like being born without a sense of smell but everywhere you go people are spraying perfume in your face and when you ask them to stop and tell them it’s irritating and you can’t smell the perfume anyway they get huffy and respond with “don’t lie to me; I can clearly see you have a nose. Everybody has a nose and therefore everybody smells things and besides maybe you just haven’t found the right scent yet”. And then you want to scream.
thanks! :)
We need to make more jokes on the "you haven't met the right person thing" because I feel its really a good joke to be made
Seriously this is my family at me. But also, it isn’t just Ace who get this spiel sadly, Aro people get it too and it’s extremely annoying when your Aro/Ace so you suffer with both sides.
As someone who cannot smell at all and identifies as an asexual person, this is the best comment I've ever read.
oh the pain of using mobile to watch youtube
As an asexual, I can confirm the perfume analogy is spot on.
Friendly reminder that being ace doesn’t mean you hate sex, it means a lack of attraction. You can be ace and have a high libido, or be bisexual and have a low libido and be sex repulsed. It just happens that ace people are more commonly sex repulsed than any other Orientations.
Me: Extremely insistent libido.
Also me: Sad Demisexual noises.
Me: pan and not a fan of sex.
Or should I say: the idea of having sex brings me anxiety and even makes me feel physically ill.
For me, this mostly comes from trauma, having been forced too often to count, having sex thrown in my face at any time without warning, without consent, and without even waiting until I was old enough for it.
I can imagine this might happen to asexuals too, especially when people try to "cure them" or "prove asexuality isn't real"
Even just reading about these things happening can traumatise people, so I'm not surprised that it's so common in the ace community.
I like to compare it to hunger and appetite. Libido is like hunger a purely physical reaction of your body asking for certain things. Sexual attraction and appetite are your body not necessarily needing those things, but you mentally want them.
Sometimes hunger goes without appetite (standing in front of the fridge, hungry, but not really wanting to eat anything) and appetite without hunger (just having eaten, but that desert just looks awesome).
And the same goes for libido and sexual attraction. You can have one without having the other.
@@nonexistingvoid Oh my god... I’m... I’m so sorry.
@@MissEarthling unfortunately, it's very common for people who were AFAB to experience these things.
I'm much better now, though.
Learning where this trauma comes from has helped me move on from my past, and makes me want to fight for young people everywhere to not have to go through the same things I went through.
two asexuals sitting in a tree
eating cake
their dragons are flying around
and their garlic bread will come out of oven shortly
Yes yes yes yes
An accurate summary of how these events happen.
Yes please🥰
I'm stuck in a tree- there are fire ants everywhere and it hurts getting bit.
@@evacesartcorner9840 nah they don't rhyme, it's bothering me too but idk what to change that part with :'
Heterosexual: You're standing on one leg
Homosexual: You're standing on the other
Bisexual: You're standing on both
Pansexual: You're lying on the ground
Asexual: You're levitating
Basically, asexuals are magical. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Sexualities as doors
Heterosexual: door swings one way
Homosexual: door swings the other way
Bisexual: door swings both ways
Pansexual: revolving door
Demisexual: door is locked, one person has key
Asexual: door is automatic
Asexual/Aromantic: door is actually a wall
edit: spell check didn't know demisexual >:(
edit 2: changed asexual, added asexual/aromantic (thanks @ThouArtWhatThouArt !)
b e a u t i f u l
I'm on my tiptoes! Guess what I am.
@@phraseology6858 A super valid demisexual?
Reminder that ace people can still experience romantic attraction! So for the door analogy, you could just say that for ace people, the door is automatic; it doesn't require touch to let you in :)
And then aroace would be the wall!
Should've realized I was ace when I went to the library and said "do you guys have any books without romance?" And this lady legit comes back with 12 WW2 books. What...
Crazy just how much unnecessary romance books and movies have
Right?! Books, movies, songs?! I can enjoy a good tragic romance, but in every story? Can the will they won't they friends ever just stay friends? Does the super hero need to also fall in love?
maybe this explains why I like WW2 history... or history in general...
I mean, I did find a WW2 book with a little bit of romance... like, a character had a crush on the main character, but he didn't reciprocate, he just found her kinda creepy and went on with the story
"So I'm thinking of these two intellectual 1900s women bucking social norms by going into science, but also being really emotionally close..."
"Eh, a period piece about smart secret lesbians? Kinda cliche, isn't it?"
"No, that's it, they're close... Just friends."
"IMPOSSIBLE"
me, an aroace men, making a comic with 2 couples and one trouple (two in the trouple are asexuals tho, and i do have a aroace character too)
Ok, but the idea of “dating” app for ace people is such a good idea, considering how most “regular” app of this kind are filled with sexual offers to the point that ace people can’t feel comfortable.
We aces realllllyyy neeeeeed that
It would be soooo funn😂💜
Bro I'd be so down for that!
There are ace dating apps, but there’s not enough people using them for there to be much success. I looked at one and in my area there were only a few people on it and none of them had a romantic orientation that aligned, that’s before getting to if we even had any common interests. I wonder how many ace people have just given up on romantic interest as well.
@@katiecrooked instead of giving up, since I've never even met another ace irl, I just got used to sex. It's not really my thing and I wish it didn't take that much time in a relationship, but it's kinda interesting in a weird way and I now can definitely bear it.
@@katiecrooked And that's why I'm glad that the big dating apps now allow you to select "asexual" as a sexuality. Hasn't helped me on the apps at all, but it's a start. I found another ace on Hinge, but they never responded either, so you run into the same things anyway.
Jammie: posts Ace video
Me, an asexual: Holy crap. Does this mean I exist?
YOU DO AND YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL 🌺
YES
When I saw it I freaked out for a moment! I was like “Holly cow a creator I like made a video about ace-ness!”
Me and my fellow Aces today, "Witness me!"
@@irishviolet9062 do you watch "One topic at a time"? He also makes a lot of pro-lgbtq content that includes ace people. He is a really great ally
Me, an asexual: *sees the one meme with the lego millennium falcon*
Me: *looks up at the lego millennium falcon on my dresser*
Me: accurate
Truly accurate, i have it too
Same. Ace with the Lego Falcon. (Do we all have one?)
Me too, I felt really called out
@@Cougath yesss
@@Cougath Lego Chima is better
As the only son of conservative (albeit not entirely close-minded) parents, I've never truly been able to think about gender and other socially relevant topics until a very small number of years ago. This channel, which I discovered only recently, has been helping me quite a lot to understand the nuances of gender and related subjects. Watching this video in particular, made me 100% sure that I'm under the asexual umbrella. Seriously, Jammi, words cannot express how grateful I am to you, for helping me to better understand both the world and myself 😁
P.S Sorry for the long comment, but the happier I am, the more I write 😌
I can relate to the every single word... (exept "son")... As happy and as thankful to Jammi as you....
@@underthetable73 After five long months of self-discovery, not even I relate to the "son" part, at least not as much as I did when I wrote the original comment!
Speaking of writing, I'm about to write A LOT of stuff down below, because I'm eager to share with you (and anyone else, really) some information that I learned in the past half year, and might help you in your own journey. Please read if you have the time and energy to do so: I have Asperger's, so I tend to get "a little" wordy and overexcited when I write/talk about things I like 😅
--------------------------------------------------
I've been identifying as nonbinary (they/he) for the past few months, partly because of RUclipsrs (in particular Jammi, One Topic at a Time, Lilly Alexander and Kross), but also because of books on History, Anthropology and other subjects.
The main takeaway I got from all of those books and videos, as well from many other past experiences, was that identities are always changing. That being said, it's totally ok to doubt yourself from time to time and experiment using (privately or in public) different labels of gender, sexuality etc. to refer to yourself, even if you end up discarding them later.
In the end, what matters is that, eventually, you learn to accept your own fluidity and start living in relative peace with yourself, never losing the drive to improve, but trying just as hard to make sure it doesn't turn into Impostor Syndrome. That philosophy (which I'm struggling to successfully implement in my daily life, but at least I'm trying) is kind of why I chose nonbinary as my current gender label: it's my way to remind myself that identities are neither black-and-white nor set in stone, while also relieving myself from a huge chunk of that socially constructed urge we all have (and will always have, to some extent) to live according to arbitrary standards of masculinity, femininity etc. That's just my take on the matter, though. Please, do both of us a favor, and be yourself. Warm greetings from Brazil 🤗
So happy you found yourself. Welcome!🖤🤍💜
Well i sure hope to be reading your first novel soon :)
@@sidereaper2810 I do plan to write for a living: I'm a History undergrad, and my goal is to write books, papers, brochures etc. that'll entertain and educate people at the same time. I want my readers to engage with the past, and with the lessons we can learn from it, as much as I do! 😁
The cake thing: We like to joke that we'd rather have cake than sex.
"joke" ?
Or garlic bread. All depends on mood or wether you prefer sweet or salty
Idk about you but I'm dead serious when I say that ;)
Cake is never a joke. 😐
🎂😍🍰😋
Cake is superior to everything
Basically, "I’d rather eat cake" is an inside joke in the asexual community. Cake is better than sex.
Doubt garlic bread is better
@@siorganism lol
@@siorganism i would die for garlic bread 🤤
I don't like cake
@@siorganism nah sweet and savory aren't comparable. Garlic bread IS the shit but so is chocolate cake
As an elderly Asexual, finding out I was Asexual in my mid-50s, I can honestly say that your wonderful support of this community is AWESOME! Also, we wear black rings on our right middle fingers to identify us as Asexuals to others. It's sort of a code style thing.
That's awesome! I'm happy for you :)
ive always worn my black wing on my right middle finger, *i couldve known the whole time*
my mom bought me a black ring and I wear it on my middle finger!
I'm so happy for you finding out who you are. It's always time to be yourself.
@Brett Wagland wtf is your problem?
My response to the perfume thing would be" I'm allergic to perfume". I'm a 57 year old Trans guy who's Asexual and quite happy to be so, even though I found out that being Asexual was something real while watching the afternoon news only about seven years ago. I spent so much of my life thinking I was just weird until there was a news story about it that described me perfectly. Videos like this are a great way to help people understand and accept themselves and it's a great feeling when you realize that you're not alone. I've learned so much about myself and my transition from your videos and I really enjoyed this one today. These videos really help so many people, thanks.
i'm also an asexual trans man! (i'm aro too) and they helped me a lot to figure out myself, i'm 19 but i found out two years ago about it, i'm happy to see others like me
@@saix_unicorn I'm aroace and it sounds weird but I realized last year because of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. 😅 He's a really cool character, so I did research on him and found that he was aroace (or at least ace) and that made me go down a research rabbit hole about the topic. I'm so glad I did, because I can feel proud of myself and not base my "success" in life around stuff that doesn't matter to me! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
@@AnotherRandomChannel13 that's exactly for this reason we need more queer characters! :) i'm really happy you found out this abt yourself! welcome to the team! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
Funnily enough, I (23 year old afab nonbinary person on the ace spectrum) seemingly inherited some level of my mother's genuine perfume allergy. I get too close to people with the wrong perfumes, and my respiratory system gets VERY unhappy. Fun fact no one asked for!
As an ace person who is sexually active and who's neutral to the thought of sex I'm thankful that little comic included that aspect of the ace spectrum because it's often overlooked
Holla at me, fellow aces who enjoy sex but dont experience sexual attraction 👂🤚
@@bills-beard eyyyy✌️✌️✌️
Even as someone who fits the stereotypical image of an ace person in a lot of ways, I find it annoying when people assume I'm sex-repulsed or are not generally inclusive of the other parts of our community.
Same!
I was holding my breath, afraid that the sex favourable among us wouldn't be included. I was also worried about aromantic being overlooked because they did the 'but we can still love romantically' line. Was really glad when both were included.
Jammi: _posts video about ace memes_
All of us Aces: *_Happiness noises_*
I literally sent this to my sister with a screaming gif
YES! 😭😍
*happy ace noises*
Yesss I was so happy to see it!!! I almost never see ace content and as an asexual person I’m so glad that Jamie made this video!!!😄😄😄
Yesss
Me: a hopeless romantic desperate for a partner to ride or die with
Also me: asexual and afraid of emotional intimacy 🤡
I know exactly how you feel. I'm a hopeless romantic too and I'm literally sooo afraid that I'll never ever find the right person because of that 😅 I'm afraid that my expectations in a relationship are way too high... but I can't help being hopelessly romantic and demi 😅 I feel like I should live in a cliché romantic novel or so 😂
Lots of love to you! ❤
You will find the person that will understand that and love you for it. I was lucky enough to find a guy that has been with me through my journey of getting that I wasn't just not ready for sex, I might never want it. Through my fear of relationships, And then figuring out that I'm demisexual. And through it all they have showered me with flowers and words of love, and most recently a ace flag sticker for my birthday.
You can be highly romantic and asexual! Don't let society tell you how a relationship is suppose to be, buy a bunch of books or anime and Binge read or watch throughout the night. Cuddle on the couch and then bid your partner goodnight. Live your beat life!
therapy first, then a partner.
Exact same. New to this entire term of asexual, but sure it applies to me and scared af.
Damn calling both of us out like that
the "YES GET THAT D QUEEN- wait no" conversation is exactly one i would have with my best friend,, like she has no clue but she is sooo supportive all the time!
ps asexual people are valid! 💜
Okay an asexual here to explain. There’s a huge common joke in the community with either cake or garlic bread. It’s essentially “I would rather eat cake/garlic bread than do the nasty” but when there’s no context I can see how that’s confusing. Pretty much every asexual knows this joke and partakes in it because it’s hilarious to us.
Lol y e s-
yep
I’m disappointed there weren’t any memes about dragons because dragons just as great as cake
This!
@@ifiinch yep they are
I swear ace people have the best dad jokes.
This is a true statement
That’s ni-ace of you to say
As we may never have children of our own, we are gifted with the powers of dad jokes from a young age, and with growing up with them, we perfect the art.
The amount of puns we can make with Ace alone makes it really easy.
Why thank you!
“No shrex for two years for 700 million”
Youths, asexuals, unmarried religious folks, and people who aren’t very hee hoo feeling: I am four parallel universes ahead of you.
also sad virgins...
"people who aren't very heehoo feeling"????
i might start describing my asexuality that way... 🤔
@@OriginalCreatorSama u know what I meant but since this is yt I had to put that but yes accurate
How about oblivious Non-binary pansexuals who are too young to care?
@@ravenlebean361 I’d say that falls under children. I’ll change it to “youths”
Important: not all asexual people experience absolutely no sexual attraction. I experience sexual attraction, but it's very rare and only after I develop an emotional connection. I'm demisexual which is under the asexual umbrella.
Ace rings are a symbol in the Ace community, similar to how the earring is known in the gay one.
A black ring on the middle finger of your right hand symbolizes Asexuality, while (lesser known) a white ring on the middle finger of the left hand symbolizes Aromantizism.
As an Ace/Aro I wear both!
And one of my friends recently asked me about it, and when I said that she said "oh that's cool I have one too but I don't wear mine so often" so that's how I found out how my friend of 4 years was a fellow Ace lol
Yep! I feel like its kinda like a secret sign to identify fellow aces and supporters!
Getting my Ace ring soon and I'll be on the lookout for my fellow ace gang :D
hi! i’ve known i was asexual for a few years now, but only found out about being demiromantic a few months ago
is there a ring to wear for being demiromantic or should i wear the white ring? or maybe just not wear one? :/
@@anon_charli3225 Same! And I wonder too , is there a ring for us? 🤔
thats cool! kind of like the hanky code from back in the day. Glad yall found each other
If there is any weebs here, just know that the R-rated hero Midnight wears black rings on her middle fingers in her hero costume. Just the smal details in life that make one smile.
The cake is a common joke about “things I would rather have than sex”. Cake, Garlic Bread, and Dragons are the common ones.
Also people think a-spec people don't exist, like dragons, so I think that's where that one came from
oooh and also space
umm im sorry am i ace? ID RATHER HAVE CAKE GARLIC BREAD AND DRAGONS THAN SEX?!?! (Am i? this is a real question???)
@@toxic_thoughts_xx2673 Haha lol! You can definitely prefer those things without being asexual, but you'll have to determine how you want to identify for yourself!
I didn’t know about the dragon one until I read this and I immediately started smiling because of how I’ve always liked dragons and I looked around my room to find I had one dragon on all of my walls and technically the floor (like drawings and pictures). So since I’m asexual can I have my dragon now?
ON CAKE AND RINGS: the ace community chose a ring like 15 years ago to represent our orientations and like signal others - a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand :)
As for cake, we just have jokes about how we’d rather eat cake than have sex, also dragons are a thing - we get more excited about dragons than sex, and a strong love of garlic bread is also just starting to come through... 😂
yeah I just wrote my own comment about ace rings before i saw yours haha!
@@scooter-kid oh cool! Yeah I wanna spread awareness of them so there's actually some point to wearing mine hahaha. Did I miss anything?? :))
Also wanting to float forever in space
I don’t love garlic but the rest of it yes 100%
..now I'd really like to eat some cake or garlic bread :D You made me hungry xD
Of all the wonderful realisations that came with figuring out I'm ace, that our flag is so aesthetically pleasing is one of the best. So lucky. Well done whoever designed it.
The cake thing is just a meme that came from someone saying they would rather eat cake than have sexual intercourse. Naturally, because it is a meme, we, aces, use it all the time.
Also now garlic bread 😂🥖
But cake is so good, how could anyone rate sex over cake???
@@izzyoranges8005 Personal preferences? I don't get it either.
@@izzyoranges8005 apparently lots of people prefer sex... it does boggle the mind
Because everyone knows that we, the LGBTQ+ community, have both the power of love *and* memes on our side!
Here's a list to understating asexual memes and stuff:
Aces is what many asexuals call asexual people. Also ace is short for asexual.
Aces are said to be dragons or to just really like them.
Aces use black rings on the middle finger on their right hands to help discreetly identify each other as ace but it is not a requirement.
Aces are said to love cake and garlic bread because they are "way better than sex".
That character from bojack horseman is named Todd and is one of the very rare characters to be canonically ace.
That's just a few.
I love Todd!!!! Bojack actually did an incredible job representing asexuality
(Spoilers if you haven't seen it!!!)
Not only is one of their main characters ace, it also shows him learning about it himself and getting comfortable using it as a label, talks about all the different types and how some aces have sex/masturbate and have relationships, and he's also not the only ace character on the show!! Theres at least 2 side characters and they show multiple frequently seen background characters going to an asexual meet up he's apart of!! It's so cool
I should have known I was ace when I was in love with how to train your dragon
I really want a black ring, but rings bother me. I was thinking about just getting it tattooed.
Canonically ace but is represented well unlike the I must be cured kind of representation
Okey, so i need a ring for mi middle finger and another for my chubby finger? (Bisexual people use a ring in the chubby finger, right hand if you are in a relationship and left hand if you are single)
i'm in the "i grew up thinking sexual attraction is a fake thing that people made up for movies" club. i was so confused when i heard some people actually experiences sexual attraction
As an aromantic, I had the same with crushes too. At age 22 I realised that it's not just a cheap trope to generate tension in a work of fiction, and honestly, I still can't quite believe it.
Im asexual aromantic and I thought crushes were you just chose someone. Then my friends tarted talking about their crushes and how they make them feel and I was like "Wait! You don't just chose someone to say is your crush?"
Pretty sure the latter half of my teens was just me being constantly surprised every time a friend or acquaintance told me they’d had sex and actually wanted that. I think I realised around 19 that I was the unusual one xD;
Yes! Same here. And people's desperate talk about how they NEED a partner was also something I thought was made up or exaggerated until I realised I'm Asexual
oh same!! and how people get crushes on celebrities?? it took me a while to realize that some people actually are sexually attracted to celebrities...i thought people had crushes on celebs because they were pretty and aesthetically pleasing to the eyes
i’ve never seen you on youtube before and this video warmed my heart, i’m asexual myself, so watching someone talk about us in such a lovely manner was sooo nice
"Noo you cant not have romantic or sexual attraction its what makes us fundamentally human!!"
Aces: Gods?
Aros: Gods.
(for clarification, the "Aces" in this instance are asking the "Aros" if they would be considered gods, and the "Aros" in this meme answer with yes)
(Also would like to clarify I am ace)
Lmao I know the Tumblr post this came from
If anything we Aces and Aros are even better then the old gods. Zeus did some pretty kinky and questionable things to fill that sensual urge. He turned into a bull, a swan, an eagle, and a shower of gold (that is to say a literal shower of gold) to procreate with multiple women and one man. So... there is your history lesson kids! Have a good time and eat your veggies.
@@inkyraven3586 meanwhile Athena and Artemis are kicking ass and actually doing their jobs
Both: Mighty and Powerful Gods!
*asexual happiness noises*
🖤🤍💜🖤
Yes 🖤🤍💜
I am happy when the aces are happy even if I'm not ace myself (I don't think I am anyway I'm still questioning my identity)
@@amberr3662 Im straight(I think) but I support you guys
*smiley face*
me, an asexual who's been fricking waiting for this: *happilly cries in ace*
*happy ace sounds*
@@tired.daydream3524 yeah :)
Thought the point was we aren't fricking anything 😂
Happy ace noises
@@ljames4347 dude, we obviously arent. this is language. i mean, i could change the sentence, any ideas for rephrasing? 😂
7:39 THIS WARMS MY HEART AND MADE ME TEAR UP WHICH IS QUITE THE ACCOMPLISHMENT CAUSE I DONT USUALLY CRY AT STUFF LIKE THIS BUT JUST THE ACCEPTANCE ITS SO ADORABLE AND SWEET I CANT-
My parents are accepting and all but just- *the note and the cake and the rings it's just like- they're so dang supportive and I love them*
I never heard of the term asexual until maybe 3 years ago, and finally at the age of 45 finding out what I struggled with all my life, what a relief!
Good for you !!
Im glad for u !!!❤
Good for you!! LGBTQIA+ people have always existed, and I'm super happy to see that people who weren't able to be informed about their identities in the past are finding ways to identify themselves now.
With love from an asexual gen-z person :)
Good for you! That’s great!
Same thing for me, four years ago when I was 30. I've really come to realize and embrace that you're never too old to discover yourself. I'm still learning new things about myself.
I am in love with how obsessed Jamie is with the asexual flag. But seriously though, I am ace myself and it means so much to me that this video exists.
Same
Same
Same.
Same 🖤🤍💜
Hi fellow ace buds!
Aroace: * Sees someone aesthetically attractive that is a nice person *
Aroace: *Is this attraction? Do I want to date them?*
as someone who just found out they might be aro/ace after calling themselves panromantic for years because they wanted a close platonic connection with others (not influenced by gender) and thought they were aesthetically pleasing........ yeah basically
@@vivisectedstar I'm trying to work out whether I'm aro or pan, I know for a fact I'm ace, but I find it hard to tell whether the attraction I feel for people is romantic or not :)
Hey! You're a fellow aroace!
@@rilla5058 same
@@GACHAShadow-cb5kf you're a fellow aroace too !
Thank you, much appreciated as an ace, it's a lonely life when everyone thinks you're broken.
The ace community have made this thing where it’s like “I just want to eat cake” so it’s like a different way of saying “I don’t like/want sex”
I mean, c'mon cake is just so much better!
Sincerely, the epitome of "f*ck society", (I am agender & aro-ace)
@@alyxm.6662 Hello person that is also Agender!
Cake is much better then sex, am ace, can confirm.
@SourRye and now I too want some garlic bread.
Mmmm, bread~
I am so sorry to everyone who replied AHHAHA I like responding to responses it’s amazing, but all y’all 100% chef kiss
The cake thing is a running joke in the community that we would rather have cake over sex and would ignore sexual advances in favor of food
Also garlic bread, I'm genuinely surprised I didn't see garlic bread in this video
@@nyxstyx388 me too.
Yesssss! :DD
I saw something and it was two people texting and it was:
Person one:
What are you doing
Person two:
I’m in bed eating cereal
Person two:
What would you do if I was there?
Person one:
.....Eat my cereal?
Person two:
What if you didn’t have your cereal?
Person one:
Go get my cereal?
Far to accurate for me and its scary.. I'd give anything for food
The cake thing is a giant meme amongst asexuals - it kinda started with "If you're having s3x and you'd rather be eating cake, you're probably ace."
A black ring on the middle finger of your right hand is a secret symbol between asexuals which has a deep meaning about solidarity and not getting married but it's mostly just you see someone with a black ring and go "OMG ARE YOU ACE TOO??"
hope that helps :)
my girlfriend is Ace and now I must get her this ring!
I have an ace ring and it makes me super happy whenever a fellow ace sees my ring and says hello!
The earliest cake thing I know about is basically "You think sex is good? Have you tried cake?"
I’ve worn an ace ring for years. Have yet to have anyone comment. Still waiting for someone I know to clue in with, “wait does that mean you’re ace?”
I would like an ace ring....but I am married. Can I still get one?
Edit: silly question I know. I can do what I want. I was just saying
As someone who's just been recently coming to terms with his own asexuality... these memes have really been putting a lot of things into perspective about me growing up and... I'm finally beginning to realize why I could never hold a relationship down... or why some people thought I was gay because I didn't act overly horny around women the way they did.
Technically all “love triangles” are actually love corners, they can’t be a love triangle unless one of them is gay and likes the two others...
I always think about that, like, a love triangle would be that al the corners like the other 2 corners
Love angles
I mean you could say that the two who don't love each other still have a line for their hate/competition, which is part of the trope
Doesn't require one to be gay - what about bi or pan, or even otherwise straight in all settings but this one? Plenty of ways that threes can be mutual triangles.
THANK YOU THIS HAS LITERALLY BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR YEARS
Two asexuals sitting in a tree... T-A-L-K-I-N-G
@ash halliday No... you're stuck down there!
@ash hallidayThree asexuals sitting in a tree, T-A-L-K-I-N-G
@ash halliday One of you... says "ash". Not suspicious at all, Ash... No fires at all until ASH arrives... hmmm....
Yeah, probably Timmy.
h u g g i n g
@ash halliday Like... more houses? Because he's already got 3 going...
as an ace, it was so validating to see this-- very many people don't recognise asexuality as an actual orientation, and among those that do, many try to say we don't belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. i really appreciate you including us on your channel :)
WTF, that's twisted. As a very sexual person, I am so sorry for the way ace & aro people are treated in the community. Of course you are welcome, just remember to step around the bigots and if they don't get out of your way, don't be afraid to crush their bigotty toes.
I had someone tell me "some people experience sexual attraction, others don't therefore ASEXUAL IS NOT A SEXUAL ORIENTATION YOU'RE JUST A NORMAL PERSON WANTING TO BE SPECIAL"
I was.... So confused....
right? I hate being subly nudged out of lgbt spaces for being "basically straight" and nudged out of cis spaces because "smh loosen up i bet you'd really like it if you did it more"
@@LittleSprout73 how did they come to that conclusion tf??
Lmao it’s like what do they think the the a is for, ally??
I always felt like I can pass comfortably as a dysfunctional heterosexual. Then in my late thirties I realized that "comfortably" doesn't really describe a life long history of depression.
Jamie, please make an aromantic part two, please dont let us aces erase our Aro peeps, especially since a lot of these "ace" labelled posts are actually aro and it helps a lot to separate and provide a distinction between the two. (Please boost to get him to see this)
Yes, this! I'm aroace, so I get the representation from both, but aro gets forgotten so frequently. All you aro peeps out there are hella valid! 💚
Boost! Aces gotta look our for our aro friends because they're looking out for us too!
Upvote this
Exactly, we've all gone ignored for so long, we can't only have one of us getting recognition!
@@kenanjones3481 ditto. And the community's gotta take care of each other 💚
I have an ace-aro friend, and she's out to most people at school, and one day this kid said to her whilst she was eating chocolate nibbles "wait, so you like those chocolate nibbles more than real people?" and she paused for a second, then said "pretty much, yeah."
I take my hat off to your friend!
As an another ace-aro, daaaaamn!
Me, also aro ace: *yes*
Me, another aro-ace: Exactly
Me, another aro-ace: That’s a messed up thing to say and a dumb stereotype that they use against us all the time
Honestly I’m asexual, got tired of answering why I don’t want sex that’s weird, I now reply ‘why do you want sex? That’s weird’ normally ends that conversation and we move on
I'm going to use that
You are so me!!! :D
Oh I'll steal that!
IM USING THAT
Noice😁
The perfume analogy is spot on.
I read these somewhere and they're my new internal anthems:
Someone: "So who wears the pants in the relationship"
Ace couple: "hopefully both of us"
And then: "the only thing I'm f*cking is stupid"
This is the first time I've heard that one, and i am stealing it to use everywhere. Love it!
@@cosmictranquility2778 noice ✨
I love that so much 😂😂
Ha, same
Everyone wears pants actually, they're underwear 😂 (funny differences between US and UK English lol)
When you’re ace and you’ve actually called someone “aesthetically pleasing”
call that acethetically pleasing 🤩
@@asta-is-dead ACETHETICALLY PLEASING OML
100% can relate lol
When you're not sure if you classify as ace but "aesthetically pleasing" is your go to compliment anyway.
i tell if someone is someone i should have a crush on if i think they would look nice on one of those Pinterest aesthetic boards
its a foolproof system
Dragons are also popular icons in the Ace community. Basically, we'd rather talk about dragons than have sex. 🖤🤍💜 What we have as our horde varies from person to person.
space and plants
What if my horde...
... IS dragons???
I'm definitely not asexual but I fucking love dragons, and cake, and garlic bread..... hmm maybe I gotta re-evaluate some things
Oh my god before I even knew I was ace I would always change the topic from sex to dragons HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS
As an ace, my hoarde might be transformer
I’m a gluten free demisexual. I’m all about that aesthetically pleasing GF cake.
*this video just proved to me that I’m asexual - I’ve been trying to realise who I am for the last few years, thank you so much!*
Heck yes, welcome fellow ace!
@@arcanelore3791 thank you :)
X2
When I was a kid, no one ever said the word asexual. I thought I was broken for decades. I didn't have a word for who I am until I was in my 40's, thanks to social media.
Welcome to the community!
Lovely reminder for everyone: Asexuality is fluid, just as everything else is!! In short it just means you experience little to no sexual attraction. That "little" is very important, because some ace people can still have limited sexual attraction to people, or may want to have sex when they are in a close romantic relationship with someone. On the other end there's other ace people who feel no sexual attraction what so ever, and some are even sex repulsed entirely. It all depends on the person and how they specifically identify 🖤
(EDIT: Thank you all so much for the love and support on this, I've never had a comment of mine blow up like this, and the feedback in the replies has been extremely lovely and sweet. I'm so glad I could help spread light on the topic and help better educate some people. Again, thank you!! 💕)
I was just about to comment this
Im Demi!! Sexual attraction only once very close to someone! Thank you for mentioning this, people dont seem to fully understand that Demisexual IS in fact different than "how its meant to work" or something like that
@@exist4046 I'm potentially Demi/Grey-ace myself!! I know I'm asexual but I haven't been out as such for very long so I'm still trying to figure it out completely (definitely not as easy as the first two times I've came out lol). Regardless I know how often asexuality gets boiled down to just those who are sex repulsed/don't feel any sexual attraction at all, which is extremely unfair and completely erases a large portion of the community. Those who still feel limited sexual attraction or want sex with close partners are just as valid as Asexuals that don't 💖
As a sex repulsed asexual, I welcome demisexuals/grey aces/etc. with open arms and will gladly tell you you're valid! 💕
@@enbiaroace We appreciate you uwu 💕
two asexuals sitting in a tree...
s-i-t-t-i-n-g
Are they stuck and in need of rescue?
@@dumpsterfire4094 yes please save us
@@supercon20 I've got a ladder!
@@godmodeextreme Thank you, it's an extremely uncomfortable tree and it's cold, so thanks
@@attaatta5176 you're welcome. (:
I actually have a silly guide for types of attraction because it took me until the covid era (at roughly age 24/25) to come to terms with being demi-pansexual. Here is the guide:
Sexual attraction- "oh, gorgeous, must boink"
Romantic attraction- "lovely human, must date"
Platonic attraction- "friend shaped, take my familial affection"
Aesthetic attraction- "oh, beautiful, moving on"
my biology teacher said that asexuality isn’t real...
I guess I’m just a creation of everyone’s imagination
*starts disappearing from reality *
Sorry I didn't want you to know you were my imagination....damn your biology teacher
Half of my friends:
*slowly turns into cake*
if you dont exist that means you cant be arrested
@@patroclusheadass Now this is what we call a strategy
My health teacher was like that
Me is trans and ace: *existing noises*
Society: *telling me I don’t exist*
Me: *vanishes*
Me, also trans and ace: *dissolving* Hey! Where we goin'?
Me: *a cis panromantic ace* Get back here, I need help eating cake and garlic bread!
me: agender asexual
also me: turns to dust
Me: crumbling to sand.
Also me: frantically shoving garlic bread into my pockets for the afterlife.
Me, a random ace: get back here i need help with my pet dragon and may cake
Two asexuals sitting in a tree
S-i-t-t-i-n-g
Two Asexuals sitting in a tree
...
Bro I thought YOU brought the garlic bread
Nah, pansexual did-
You invited pansexual?
Yeah, what about it?
Bro, they probably got lost and ate the garlic bread-....
Oh sh-t
Goddangit-
They could also be k-i-s-s-i-n-g too!
HELP WE FOLLOWED A CAT UP HERE AND WE'RE STUCK
H-o-l-d-i-n-g H-a-n-d-s
two asexuals sitting in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
first comes attraction
the love's romantic
then comes the wedding cake
we cut it in fractions
I once had a friend who was bi and trans. I figured they knew about the LGBTQ+ community so I listened to them. One time when I was twelve someone else was reading smut. I said I was going to leave and when they asked why I said that I was asexual. This “friend” said I wasn’t because you had to be 18 or older. I was forced to stay and listen to something that traumatised me. I knew I was asexual because everyone else my age was talking about sex and sexual crushes and I was busy getting platonic relationships confused with romantic ones and never having any sexual thoughts. I lied and pretended I had these feelings for 4 years, to this day I invalidate myself and cry. A sexuality is valid. Don’t hurt people the way people hurt me.
After literal years of seeing tumblr's rampant acephobia, seeing so much openness and positivity regarding asexuality really makes my heart so much lighter. I'm so glad there's still a robust ace community that hasn't been attacked into recloseting themselves, and I might actually join them. I've missed the kind acceptance, along with the cake and dragon jokes.
Ive found a lot of safety in discord! If you want you can look up "the Ace cafe" in disboard, its good small and cute
I saw a comment on a super straight vid saying asexuality isn’t valid, I feel better seeing this video now.
I would love if someone analyzed the “Down with the Aces” Tumblr phase and its negative affect it has on asexuals to this DAY.
@@toniodejimi3905 I don't know if they improved, but this attitude on Tumblr is the reason I ended up leaving about four years ago. It's hard to believe it was still so recently.
I'll just drop the website AVEN:s (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) name here in case someone wasn't already aware of them :3 There's useful info there, and the forums are full of wholesome, ace people just vibing together :D
Ace people do not come out of the closet
They come out of the deck
HELL YEAH
damn right bestie‼️
I love your joke and now I'm just thinking about reaching into a closet full of cards and seeing if it's an ace of not 😹
Spill
YES 🖤🤍💜
When my son told me he is asexual , all he said was I'm asexual just so you know , I gave him a big hug . He is not a big talker of feelings , though we do talk openly about anything. He is logical and to the point
I love my boy
You sound like a wonderful parent! 💜✨ 🤗 Your son is very lucky to have grown up in an environment so full of love and respect that he felt comfortable enough to open up to you about this
Be my mom, please
@@da_alexjeanes sending you mom hugs
@@acatnamedtaz2167 Thank you
My respect for you is higher than cake
As a young gal quite possibly on the asexual spectrum who is currently way too awkward and socially anxious to even consider going on a date, but who still daydreams about one day having a wife, I really appreciate a lot of the messages in this video! Who knows, maybe one day in my late twenties I'll be comfortable enough to go out, meet someone new, and forge a connection with them. Until then, I'll just work towards my other goal of living comfortably in the woods with a few cats ^^
I once helped this kid in middle school, the other boys were picking on him cause they would ask “do you like girls” and he would say no and they would call him gay and make fun of him and he would get pretty sad. So I talked to him and I was like “yo it’s ok to be gay” and he explained that he’s not gay and just really wasn’t interested in people like that so I asked if he was ace and he didn’t know what it was, to cut it short he’s a very happy ace and I am so proud :)
Edit:I don’t usually comment but I’m happy I shared this story, honestly Asexual people just don’t get enough love ❤️
That's wholesome
Awww
DJSKLQDJQKH THATS SO SWEEEEEEEET
Ace boys are everything
AS AN ASEXUAL I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
Edit: Hahahaha now you'll never know why I got 2k likes!
We are invisible, there are upsides and downsides.
Do people actually think homosexuality doesn't exist?
@@crappyaccount apparently 💀
have you seen the bi, pan, ace and aro triforce
As an ace lesbian, I agree!
i remember before i realized i was asexual and i used to see those memes like "no sex for x amount of time can you do it?" and i always used to be like "that's not even hard, you dont HAVE to have sex all the time"
the day i discovered that all that horniness was actually real and not a joke/meme and it was actually I who simply didnt possess it was an enlightening and frightening day, to say the least
Same here. I don't get how people can feel like that.
But okay, you do you I guess xD
Yeah exact same, I remember being horrified when I learnt it was actually something people felt
*Wait, no, THAT'S ACTUALLY REAL?!! No it can't be THAT hard for other people not to have sex..... Can it?.... I mean Having sex too much can count as an addiction!... wha-? .... not being able to withstand from sex sounds like an odd medical condition if anything....*
*OOF Whatever, I'm so glad I'm not dependent on it. Goodness imagine what a curse that would be!*
That’s the first thing someone said to me when I came out as ace. “So you don’t get horny?” And then I realized. That was an experience
I still don't understand allos... I just have to trust that they are reporting their experiences accurately
I was married for 17 years and I always thought that something was wrong with me because I just didn't really want to have sex or even ever feel arousal. That's not to say that I didn't love my husband, but I just didn't want to have sex. Of course, this was a big issue with my ex and ultimately led to a divorce. For many years I just thought something was wrong with me and that maybe it was a psychological issue, but now I know that I'm asexual and that it's okay. There isn't anything wrong with me. I now understand my sexual orientation and why I always tried to steer away from sexual contact. I feel so much better now that I know I am valid and there are so many other people who are just like me.
I’m panromantic asexual. The cake thing basically means that we would rather eat cake than have sex. Hope that helps :D
I don't understand why anyone would pick sex over cake.
Cake is like pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still good.
Sex (based on what I've heard?) can easily be pretty bad...
Also now garlic bread 😂👌🥖
I would chose cake over sex any day haha
Cake and garlic bread, food of the dragons.
Wait... is that what the cake by the ocean song is about...
Everybody talks about the "trans-it" and all that but am I the only one who's ever freaked out over the word aromatic because I thought it was aromanitc?
You are not the only one
I guess I just did it right now. XD
I can confidently say that an aroma has never experienced romantic attraction, so what's the difference?
I get excited and disappointed every time
Every time. Scented candle labels are the death of me
another explanation that i haven't seen: while asexual people don't experience sexual attraction, we can still recognize "beauty" and can find someone pretty. that is actually called "aesthetic attraction". it's a pretty useful term even for allo (the cis of trans) people since finding things or people aesthetically pleasing is a thing you also experience. that distinction b/w "pretty" and "hot". you just have to conclude that ace people only feel the "pretty" feeling, and not the "hot" one.
The way I explained that to my brother was, "I like to look at people, but I don't want to touch them" (ew) lol
Referring to allo as like cis to trans made me think of the phrase "assigned hetero at birth" and now I can't stop thinking about how true that actually is.
Thank you for this explanation. It's very helpful. I'm not ace, but one of my kids is. Y'all have a blessed day!
People can be pretty but peanuts and Virginias gross
For me, I use 'hot' to be when I'm turned on romantically by someone, but 'sexy' is a weird word that I don't identify with at all
5:19
I have NEVER heard someone say that it’s okay to not find love. Thank you, you made me cry (in a good way)