Take The Homophobes Money | r/AITA
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- Опубликовано: 9 май 2023
- There's a difference between making someone not come out for you, and advising they wait to come out for them.
Who was the A-hole?
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Yeah, I'm a lesbian, and I'd have stayed in the closet an extra year or two for £7million....
Yeah, no doubt. Keeping it from the homophobic family members for a short time would be well worth it. At 17 years old you've got a lot of life to live... better to be queer and wealthy, that queer and broke!
As would this gay trans man, for £7M or $7M, sure...
Same I could use the money damn
Yeah like I get how uncomphy it is to do so, it was 9 years before I accepted myself but I'd honestly do 16 years for that money
All o would need to do is make sure he doesn't find out like you could even get married if you're smart enough and careful enough
Also I feel like the reason the niece got so mad was because of the "gay youth syndrome" where we all make up for the decades we were in the closet
I do understand that she wants to come out but like wait till it's too late for him to change shit, like tell him on his hospice/palliative care bed and then finish him with coming out, get the money and flex on an a-hole
Yes ik its her grandfather but if you're an evil vindictive a-hole you deserve no respect or even food imo like literally go live on Mars it's named after the god of war, conquest, and violence so yeah just go be hateful there i will build a new planet myself if I have to so we can keep exploring space
"just wait till the bigots die" is SUCH A LINE
Society progresses one funeral at a time.
@@tjenadonn6158 True that
Who cares+cringe+ fatherless
It's not like they're super young lmao
That's how I feel about transpeople, just let their rising suicide rate take care of the problem.
I'm trans and if I was in the closet and had to wait for the bigots money I'd do it and then use the money for my transition lmao
legend right here you're fucking genius chaotic good OMFG ilysm for this
and after i payed for my transition i'd also donate a load of money to a trans charity 🤣
Sameee
@@lexi-501 extra funds go to the trans kids 🤝
My homophobic transphobic dad pays for my Testosterone since I'm still covered by his insurance doe a few years
She was offered a 1-2 year acting job that will pay handsomely. I hope she takes it, and throws herself a huge coming out party when she can afford it 🙂
No context whatsoever
Who was offered the job?
People be down here talking about parts of a video they never even saw the thumbnail of, seriously the thumbnail says taking transphobes money and this one is about getting money from bad people it's jot that hard to connect the 2
Personally I haven't watched it yet but I am familiar with the story
@@ConstantChaos1 well, technically the niece has to act straight for 2 years and then gets payed handsomely.
@@softcloth69 I think if the girl from the first AITA posts waits to comeout
Choosing to stay in the closet until homophobic family members die is a difficult choice but as someone who had to make it, im very glad i did. The uncle was 100% right to give the niece that advice. Im certain she will have appreciated it even if it sucks right now. Living in the closet isnt as bad as the emotional trauma of being disowned and 7 million definitely sweetens the deal
It’s kinda what I’m doing. Except not with that much money attached. I’m staying in the closet as a “straight man” and when I get enough money to get a house or an apartment. Then this girl is getting out of dodge and finding herself a boyfriend. And since I’m good at acting. This will be an easy to pretend.
Yeah if I had known about how many years of conversion therapy and shootings my parents would inflict on me I would da just sucked d*ck on the side not gone for a BF
Na, fuck that level of inherited generational wealth, big up the proletariat
Jamie is a bearded Lady. This is a fact, why cause she was born a woman period.
@Bronze Stars and Moons no I didn't?
I'm literally a god and I didn't make people with names also they all fycked arround, baine literally had sex with his mother is it so unbelievable that he also fucked with his dad and brother? Like its actually recorded in some of the lesser know gospels that they had "group meatings" regularly
Oh, the uncle was _definitely_ right to tell his niece, "Your grandfather is a hateful person who _will_ disinherit you if you come out to him. It's much better to not come out to the entire family and make sure that word never gets back to him, and then go and spend your inheritance on being a lesbian. Because nothing would spite him more."
Scam the bigots, yessss~
The solution to the first story is for her to wait until their on their death beds and then tell them as they’re taking their final breaths
HAHA That’s amazing
YES
Timing, after all, is everything...😊
@Paperman That would imply that they're in a romantic or intimate relationship with their grandparents. You must remember that humans aren't as incestuous as conservatives.
@@paperman5272 this is a very weird comment. Close family members are normally present at their parents deathbed.
I saw the niece one online a few weeks ago and the reactions were HILARIOUS. I personally agree with the uncle because that is a lot of money and could benefit the niece tremendously. She could also go on to donate to various LGBTQ+ organizations causing the grandfather to turn in his grave for eternity 😌
plus all the niece hs to do is just not come out to the whole world. she won’t be closeted closeted since she’s out to certain family members and likely certain friends
plus
if you want to go a more controversial approach
wait until that family member flatlines (if in hospital/ hospice) and as the last sense to go is hearing
say im gay
I'm curious about the reactions now
I saw it like a year ago ots so fun how randomy one post becomes so prolific well after it should have faded from all memory
@@MrDoggoCraft That is legitimately such a good idea
Omg the HUGE difference between “hey, I’m gonna suggest you wait for your sake until you inherit $7 million dollars and then come out” versus “I’m *making* you *promise* not to come out for my sake”
Assuming they're 10 it's 6,3 million dollars per person and without counting tax reductions for the charity. And assuming there's only 1 coming out in the family, how much gay charity is too much, grandpa?
@Stop lgbt no maidens?
@Stop lgbt bot
@@queefgod420 none at all
Ah yes, the difference between "Get in that closet and don't embarrass me," and "Just so you know, you'll get paid millions of dollars to stay in that closet."
The whole 'failed as a parent' thing makes me so uncomfortable... It's exactly what my mom said when I told her I didn't like being a girl ( I'm cis but had a hard time accepting my femininity ) and I find it strange... Why is it a failure to raise a person who knows who they are ?
Both my parents have said they feel like they failed because I left the family religion. It freaking sucks. But it's not my fault they feel that way, and I don't need to carry that for them or with them.
I'm not very good at moving past how they feel about me, though.
My mom has said similar things. She doesn't necessarily think it anymore, but it still hurts. (Pre-everything Texan trans girl living at home)
@@dawn8293
Maybe look at it like if you leave and move on it might hurt, but it would hurt you more to continue being subjected to that.
It may never stop hurting fully, but someday that hurt will seem like a small thing in comparison to all the huge and beautiful things you’ve filled your life with.
they probably see good parenting as making their child to be a carbon copy of themselves and think that they failed if the child turns out different.
The only way to fail as a parent is if one's adult child is unable to take care of themselves and be dependent on their parents despite being physically and mentally capable.
If one has a disability or is living with family due to temporary financial difficulties then that's not a failure that's just life.
“mate… hold off until the bigots die”
First story. I don’t think she’s being asked to hide her sexuality to appease old bigots. She’s being asked to do it to take those old bigots for all they’re worth. Lol
I'm concerned about how the mother in the second story is discussing her son's sexuality with her friends before he's had a chance to come out.
That’s a good point. I understand where she’s coming from, though, but if I wasn’t straight, found out that my mom had mentioned my orientation to others without my consent, (even if I knew the intent behind it) I would be very scared and pissed.
Especially if they're potentially homophobic as well (it sounds like they live in quite a homophobic environment, given the parents' reluctant acceptance).
My guess on that is the Mother is fine with it and so are these friends - it actually probably shows that she is supportive with the son coming out just reluctant to expose him to the less pleasant side of it that would come from her family. We dont have the info but I'm going with the Son who seems to want the world to know being okay with those friends knowing.
My mother and sister has done that. Sometimes I do wish they could keep it to themselves. No one they have told has been cruel to me but it would just be better if they did.
That actually was the way I came out to most of my siblings. With me being outed by my niece. Funny thing is. It was always on the day that i was going to tell them I was gay.
So. I guess my niece and I are a tag team for coming out.
"It's not actually my jumper, it's Shaaba's, I borrowed it" is the cutest thing I've heard all day and no one will top it.
They _are_ one of the cutest couples ever; unsurprising.
That's a nifty advantage of wearing clothing roughly the same size as one's partner does -- as my beloved partner is a foot taller than me and about 150 pounds heavier to boot, even his T-shirts (3X for him; 1X for me) would swim on me, alas.
@@starparodier91 Doesn't work as well when you're both men, I reckon -- enjoy your boyfriend/fiancé nightshirts.
@@christopherb501 Jamie is a bearded Lady. This is a fact, why cause he was born a woman period. 😂
@@Mosquito-balls You're a conservative. You wouldn't know what a fact was if one of them forced you to read a book for the first time in your life. Conservatives are just as incapable of perceiving facts as humans are incapable of breathing water instead of air. It's just not biologically possible for your species.
I'd have TOTALLY stayed in the closet for 7 million dollars lmao. I came out to my mother when I was 15, and she immediately made it clear she was NOT supportive and that I was not going to inherit anything. So yeah, I wish I could have been closeted for a year or two for 7 million. (Sometimes people change, but not her! 13 years later, she is still a raging homophobe. We don't talk to her hahah).
I'm so sorry your mum chose to be like that, hopefully you've found your own family now who love and support you unconditionally as she should do.
My mom is still not fully accepting of me being trans and makes insults often about it (she says she’s trying but… it’s been 3 years and the sight of armpit hair still puts a look on her face and a disgusted sound)
Probably a good thing i never expect an inheritance since we live paycheck to paycheck. Im 20 but I don’t have the resources to move out. Love my mom and she’s great otherwise but I can’t deal with all of the passive aggressive trans related comments and insults for much longer
Mood. I sent my dad a letter coming out as trans, and I haven't heard from him since - that was about 4 years ago.
The uncle who advised his niece not come out 100% not an a hole. He had knowledge of what she had to lose by coming out which was import for her to make her own informed choice and its sounds like he'd support her not matter if she takes his advice or not. That's a life changing amount of money worth a deep consideration and maybe she could come out to just the supportive members of the family who wont tell the grandfather.
As for the first post, god no the uncle is not an asshole, I'd stay in the closet as long as necessary to make sure I get all that dough, and then live comfortably with my precious bf on the coast :)
you wouldn’t even have to be closeted closeted. just smart enough for your gramps to not find out
Plus, I bet it'd be satisfying to spend a bigot's money to live a very happy life being who you are.
@@babs_babs yep. And you could probably find a friend to pretend to be your boyfriend if need be. Just pull a "I can't be gay, I have a boyfriend", because homophobes are that stupid.
@ B
Sneak 100. >:3
Something like this happened to me, I am trans (28) and came out to my mum, she is very accepting and supportive, I asked her to talk to my stepdad before I came to visit them to prepare him for meeting new me, but he asked if I could not come as real me because my little sister (12) may not understand it, my first reaction to this was explaining my mum she will understand it and he does not and is just an A-hole. When I came out to my little sister her only reaction was asking very excitedly: "so I have a sister?" She is so sweet, I love her
Sweet that your sis was happy about it.
Sibling support, ya love to see it ❤
I can only imagine the color draining from your face when she goes “now we can play dress up. 😈” Godspeed lass. Godspeed. 🫡
In all honesty. That’s extremely adorable. 🥰
I personally am agnostic, but I hate it when religion is used as an excuse. When I came out as gay and trans, my mom, grandma, and pastor were all incredibly supportive. The pastor is actually also gay and helped me figure out some of my trans stuff.
Literally. I'm an atheist but I've read the bible and I just can't imagine reading that book and coming out the other side with the view that "LGBT people are sinful". It's so random. Not an excuse at all
@@heythisanimalcantalkit has a lot more to do with colonization and intentional mistranslation (and especially in English) than it has to do with the actual original text and it’s messages.
@@mickymcbryan4814 Yeah I get that. Sucks really because a lot of the bible is pretty awesome
@@heythisanimalcantalk and yet despite the queer subtext in some Biblical stories; mainly David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi. Both stories are about close same sex relationships.
I’m Christian and I 100% agree. It’s so disturbing how determined people are to be hateful. And yeah, the bible does not state that being LGBT is bad, LET ALONE the gospel
Edit: even if it did condemn homosexuality or some shit, it still wouldn’t mean anything. It’s literally just like a collection of things some people said thousands of years ago 💀💀
Thank you for being out and open with who you are, Jamie. My family is literally having to flee hundreds of miles away from the only home my children have ever known for the safety of our oldest daughter with all the anti-trans bills being passed over here in the states. Its a terrifying time. Having out trans content creators with such presence is invaluable, especially now. You're someone she can look up to and someone that helps with all the mental anguish her father and I are feeling with all the hate of our child for no reason. You're wonderful.
I hope you and your family are able to make it somewhere safe and peaceful to live! ❤️
@@probably_notbob5794 I genuinely appreciate the kind words and well wishes. It's an uphill battle. Having to move states away is something we are not financially prepared for but is also not an optional task with the political climate. We WILL make it happen, but everything we are going to lose is going to truly and deeply impact our lives for a long time.
@@paperman5272 lgbtq community
@Paperman You are not welcome here. Either make an actually valuable contribution, or leave. The third option is making yourself look stupid, which you are already doing.
I hope you can find somewhere safe for your daughter and that these problematic laws get repealed.
Sadly, here in the UK sometimes follows the idiotic things your country does. At the moment, things aren't as bad over here, but there is definitely some anti-trans sentiment in government at the moment. For example, Scotland tried to pass some trans-inclusive laws recently and Westminster (UK government) blocked them.
Story #1 shows an important part of Allyship, protection. Go, awesome uncle, accepting and protective and ensuring his lovely niece can live her best life as a rich (hopefully wealthy) woman.
Story #2, I HATE how people are trying to use a religion all about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE as a way to not love "othered" people. Christ preached unconditional love, and so much hate and murder have been done in His name; it's sickening. God is the ONLY Being that can judge, but there is a special place in Hell for homo/transphobes.
True - it seems like the Mum is taking the route most true Christians would and accepting her son pretty unconditionally but also is a realist and knows that there are people in her family circle who simply wont. I truly think she's trying to save her kid the pain of having to deal with that side of things for as long as possible - it's going to happen obviously but maybe he doesn't have to deal with all that crap at 13.
I wish Christianity were all about unconditional love. That is indeed how some liberal Christians position the religion, but even just in the 4 gospels (let alone the genuine and fake letters from Paul) include quite a bit of judgement and rules that are not simply about love and compassion.
Fully agree. I'm not Christian myself, but I am religious, and through my own personal religious journey, I have learned that religious was always meant to be a tool to HELP people: not hurt them. It's such an awful, cruel, and disgusting thing to see people try to use any religion as a justification for Hate. Hopefully one day, we won't have to deal with as many people who do such things.....
@@JaniceLHz We know that all the Canonical and Gnostic Gospels were written about 30-ish years after the fact. Then 300 years later chosen to further a political agenda. The Letters of Peter and Paul were often changed to further local political agenda, or worse, copied by illiterate artisans who accidentally changed words and meanings. If you want to see the most accurate version of The Faith, look to India and its Christians. They still practice a version of Christianity that was never touched by Roman or Byzantine politics. It's as close to the First Century Jesus movement as possible.
@@My_mid-victorian_crisis Are you saying that the Christianity practiced in India was not affected by the politics or cultural forces there? That seems unlikely to me, but I am willing to entertain evidence.
“I think you should just hold off until the bigots die.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm straight and for 7 million I'd pretend to be basically any sexuality available, lol. So go girl?
Ohhhhhhhhh my goodness
I won't lie, if I was faced with that kind of money - more than my family combined has ever had anywhere close to and what would be able to solve about 99% of all problems that we gave collectively several times over, I'd pretend to be straight for a few years
I think 1-2 years in the closet is definitely worth 7 MILLION dollars. Especially given it's just to the grandparents, and the aunt and uncle are obviously supportive.
There's a big difference between "Maybe don't come out because it might affect YOU negatively" (1st AITA) and "Don't come out because it might affect ME negatively" (2nd AITA)...
As someone who is both cis and straight, I really appreciate Jamie exposing problematic mindsets like this, it's allowed me to avoid learning a few things the hard way
I was outraged at first but not at the uncle - grandad is absolutely an AH. I agree with you Jamie; I’d keep it secret then live off the money while doing endless charity work for LGBTQ+ and donating what I could to causes the bigots would hate.
Umm... it really seems like a no-brainer. Stay in the closet for for just a small amount of time, be a multi-millionaire before age 25.
Why couldn't I have had that? I stayed in for 40 years and got nothing but grief.
Jamie: “Today, we’re looking at a**holes.”
Me: “Wait, is this Proctology 101?”
Either that, or the Rethuglican National Convention (A/K/A Homophobia/Transphobia Central)...😉😱
@Paperman whatever turns you on
Jamie is a bearded Lady. This is a fact, why cause he was born a woman period. Cry about it
@@Mosquito-balls i love how you added "cry about it" to prove your point even less
@@satonimon2774 I like how they still referred to him as he while calling him a lady.
Accidental ally moment?😂
Imagine how good it must feel to spend your inheritance on a massive lavish gay wedding 💒 As tough as it is *now*, it will definitely allow her to live her best gay life afterwards. The uncle gave great advice given the sad circumstances. Hopefully it was phrased in a way that made it clear he would support her no matter her decision ❤
❤🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️🌈
Daily reminder; You are valid and amazing just the way you are!
🏳️🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜
here before the haters, just wanna let you know I really apreciate what you do
darn it i've been unmasked
@@dark7859 ❤
Engineer gaming approved
@@dark7859 👷🎮☑
Stay in the closet, but never have to work again...?
Worth it, 100%. Not only is the uncle NTA, they are offering very sound financial advice.
Can we just live in a society where nobody has to come out? Where if you're trans you know you can tell everyone and anyone and not be scared. Where love is love and support is a given? The bigotry and hate needs to stop. And you're right, age should have nothing to do with it. I'm 60 and still capable of being a decent person
That would be terrific, if people could just mention that they're gay or trans or polyamorous or Muslim or atheist or vegan or nudist without people freaking out or judging based on assumptions and prejudice.
My oldest has been out as trans to a select group for the past year, and most of my family is not in it. The reason is my grandfather, who is being taken care of by my mother until he passes. Now theres no #7 mil on the line, for us its the situation my mother (who knows and is 100% supportive) is in, and the fact that they still rely on the other branches of the family for help. These branches are expected to close themselves off when she does come fully out, so its a bit of peace we're bargaining for. And its not like we've been close with them in years anyway. But this was my daughter's decision, as she'd rather not cause the expected problems until my mom is set. Which won't be until my grandfather is gone. I hate that its like this, but until we can change the world more, here we are.
It is great you are following your daughters lead on this. You are doing great.
You guys are doing the right thing. And your a good mother for supporting and protecting your kid.
Honestly, the uncle seems to be coming from a good place. Like, that really is a rather life changing amount of money (so long as she spends it wisely). She could also donate a bit to LGBTQ+ causes if she so chose. And I totally got the aunt's reaction as well, honestly. I know there was one reddit story where this guy wrote about receiving all of his grandfather's inheritance because his sister was a lesbian and his parents lived far away and couldn't see the grandfather often. I remember that I couldn't help but wonder if maybe the OP's parents didn't visit the grandfather often because was a genuinely awful person.
I'm a parent of a lgbt+ teen and a Christian (we're not all horrible homophobes... ❤🏳️🌈) but was concerned about her coming out to older (some of whom also very religious) family members and they've all been lovely, proving age/religion doesn't need to be a barrier to acceptance 😊 we are so grateful for them.
I send my love and support to people who don't have that. 🥰
Thank you, you don’t know how much we appreciate that ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
"Hold off until the bigots die". Honestly, that's one of my tactics in life. As much as it sucks, sometimes it's the safer option
I think it’s also important that the uncle offered that opinion and essentially gave her the option. If it truly is a point of pride and she decided “I hate that man and don’t want his money”, she could choose to come out/ risk him finding out. This way she understands the choices and their consequences.
I think it’s far better than him NOT advising her, just being “happy for her” and then her saying “wtf I got no money in the will” and he’s like oh yeah sorry I knew that would happen, oops. That would make him seem like he was against her all along- I would question his motives by that point
For the first IATA in most cases I would say to wait 1-2 years. On the other hand, telling the bigots and saying “I don’t care if you write me out of the will” is pretty epic. That is a choice that requires careful consideration.
I remember when i first figured out my gender&sexuality I was literally getting stomach-cramps from happyness, and felt like i had a swarm of butterflies in my belly for two days straight (or queer, i guess)
There are two types of people:
#1 The people who go "Omg! Yes! I finally know it now! I know who I am! I'm so happy! I'm gonna tell everyone!" when they figure out their gender and/or sexuality
#2 The people who go "Oh god...I'm [trans, gay, queer, any other LGBTQ+ identity]...what am I gonna do now...how am I going to tell anyone? Is my life ruined forever now??? HELP ME"
Actually, no. There are three types of people. The third one being a combination of the first two...I am one of these...Happy I figured myself out, but effing terrified of literally everything.
@@HyperNovva oh gosh, I know that feeling. I finally felt free when I stopped denying my transness, and in time it massively reduced my depression, but after actually coming out (via Facebook post, so it was actually in writing for all to see) I was terrified and cried often for weeks xD but I feel better now and have a future to work towards :)
@@monsterzombun558 Yeah I feel that. I think I'm at a point where I'm not denying my trans identity, but I'm just really afraid of what's gonna happen next. Coming out seems horrifying to me, I don't know when I'll be able to transition, and then I'm also dealing with dysphoria. And in addition to all of that, with all the detransition stories that are constantly being pushed forward in the media, it's making me doubt myself. Even though I know that it shouldn't, but it still happens and it's annoying.
@@HyperNovva yea I get that. It is pretty scary not knowing the future, all the negativity, the laws being brought in in some countries, the waiting time for transition/daunting prospect of paying to go private. I doubt myself a lot too, especially when my dysohoria is lower, even if euphoria tells me it's right. But hey, we'll get through it, I'm sure we will :)
@@monsterzombun558 Yeah it sucks. I'm gonna have to wait a while before I can medically transition anyway (I am currently not of the legal age to do so), so that adds onto it. Luckily, I live in a US state that has a good attitude towards trans people, so I'm very grateful for that. However, an issue with this is that since many trans people from less trans-accepting states are moving here, the waiting lists might get very long. So that doesn't help. In terms of social transition, I'm honestly just terrified of people's reactions to coming out. Sometimes I blame myself for being worried about this, since I know that I am (thankfully) in a safe environment to do so, and yet it's difficult. Which, again, something that doesn't help. Anyways, thank you for your supportive message! Regardless of what fears and feelings I have, rationally I do know that we will both be able to transition sometime :)
100% support staying in the closet if it means they can live an amazing rich live afterwards. If she uses her money wisely! It's already a big relief to have SOMEONE there to support you, even if it isn't everyone. I think it would be amazingly funny if she gets the inheritance and then throws a big gay party afterwards! And as others mentioned donating some money towards lgbt+ charities :D Just to give that bigot a big middle finger. We'll always be there, whether you accept us or not.
I'm glad his wife changed her mind and now also supports her waiting to come out until after they pass and she inherits the money. She has at least two very supportive people in her life and that's fantastic.
At grandpa biggot's deathbed right at his last breath *whispers* "Im a lesbian".
I had to wait a little while before I was able to come out, since I discovered I was pan and started dating my trans/non-binary best friend while I was two semesters away from graduating with my art degree at a highly Christian, conservative school. It sucked to wait and to be stuck at the school while keeping an important part of my life secret so I wouldn't get expelled, but I was SO close to graduation. I've officially graduated with my degree and now I can be as queer as I want .🏳🌈
And why the heck did you studied at that christian conservative school? huh? Why didn't you studied in a more secular school? Why?
@@jmrabinez9254 It was where I really wanted to go when I started out, at the time I felt like it was the best choice for me. One of my favorite artists studied there, and my sister was going there so I could be roommates with her. I was very Christian and conservative at the time, but I experienced a dramatic change in my beliefs a couple semesters before I graduated. It was a really rough transition. So, long story short- I went to a conservative Christian school because I was very Christian and conservative, but my beliefs quickly changed just a couple semesters before I was set to graduate.
@@juliacheneyillustration3928 Aaaaah, ok. Now I understand. Thank you.
You are my favorite youtuber I'm a young trans boy and you make me feel normal and accepted
You're in good company with Jamie's audience. I think I speak for everyone here when I say we love you, bro.
+1 on Davids comment!! 💙
You are normal. Also you are always accepted here. I hope you find that in your personal life as well.
Another +1 on David's comment
Also a young trans boy! Here for ya, dude!
Woof, this hits close to home! I'm a 34yo queer woman and I'm not going to tell my parents any time soon. I definitely agree that uncle is NTA.
Grampa dies...2 kids, 3 grandkids, and 7 greatgrandkids all come to the funeral with their same sex partners, Samantha, who everyone thought was Samuel, wears a dress for the first time, and they all dance on grandpa's grave with their millions.
Advising someone to stay in the closet for their physical, mental, or financial safety is fine. Demanding someone stay in the closet so _you_ don't get judged is not.
For the second one, the son just came out to the parents "a few weeks ago". I think it's fair to say that the parents are still adjusting and working through their own reaction. I think they would benefit from connecting with other parents of LGBT teens and getting some of their own support network in place before talking to grandma. Both the parents and the son can practice coming out in safer spaces first.
Yeah I dont think that Mum is a butt - she's just trying to exercise caution and protect herself and her kid form negativity that she knows would come their way. No 13 year old needs to deal with avoidable abuse.
My problem was the "made him promise" part. If that had said "advised" I would have no problem. Even, perhaps "asked" would have been okayish...
@@kathleenanne7868 Yeah, I started thinking I might have more time for the second one if it was a case of "don't rush it" because the family dinner was like the next day, and they knew it would cause a lot of drama. But I think Grutar's suggestion of finding supportive people and increasing their own comfort and knowledge about their son sounds like a good suggestion.
from experience, re-pooling the inheritance is a great idea until all of a sudden you have to give someone tens of thousands and you have plans and a life to sort out. it's hard for people not to be selfish and not volunteer their portion of inheritance.
Exactly this.
Don't count your chickens before they hatch and you won't get disappointed at "losing out" on money that wasn't yours in the first place.
Families have been destroyed by this greed you so casually justify.
@@LisaJane11709 i wasnt justifying anything, just pointing out that ideals only work in ideal situations.
@@LisaJane11709 Technically it is your money as long as you "follow" the standards set for it
This channel and OneTopicAtaTime are the reasons I finally chose to come out as trans. I've only now come out to my partner and my best friend but just that little bit has felt like the ENTIRE WORLD has been lifted off of me. I can breathe for the first time in my life, and it's because of these channels and the amazing community that they've created.❤
Oh my gosh I am so happy for you!
Congratulations!! 🎉
5:52 the one thing that raises a flag for me is that the grandparents are diagnosed with dementia. At that point, they usually can’t rewrite their wills. So if the will doesn’t actually have a clause against LGBTQ+ family inheriting as it stands right now, there may be no way for any rewrite to be binding. Worth running it past a lawyer.
Was also thinking that the inheritance is probably not so straightforward as a direct $7M deposit. Likely it’s set up to go to a trust and it will depend who are the decision makers for the trust that is set up to benefit the minor.
In the first story, only one of the grandparents has dementia, the other one appears to have terminal cancer. The cancerous grandparent is likely to be mentally competent for a while longer and could change his/her will.
Only one of them has dementia and I think it isn’t the grandfather
The grandfather, whose will is the one at issue, does not have dementia.
The second story reminds me of an old Manuha. A Mother finds out her Daughter is Gay and breaks down crying, making the Daughter assume she was ashamed of her but when she asked, the mom says: "Im not sad for who you are but that you will be seen as different just because of it. I hate that my Child will have a more difficult life because of who she loves" (Nite this plays in Korea) and i think this is the reverse opinion of the Mother in the second Story
I get misgendered everytime I go out in public, I get deadnamed everytime I talk to one side of my family, and my dad asks me to "dress normal" for family events, I'd be much happier putting up with all that if I knew I had 7million quid coming 😂😂
2 years is a LIFETIME for a 17 year old. If I were the uncle I would give this advice but also acknowledge the possible strain on the mental health, socialisation and ability to develop emotional relationships. If I were a case of a few months, absolutely. A few years hurts my soul. But ultimately they could do it, I just see them needing support, big time.
She can still be gay. Just not near the family. Honestly, I didn’t date until O was 19. I didn’t think I missed much. For those of us who didn’t grow up with money, it’s crazier to lose 7 million.
For 7 millions? I'd turn back straight then use that money to be every part of the LGBT+ 😂
Exact same thing is happening to me! My grandparents are very homophobic but my inheritance would be somewhere around 10 million. It’s hard considering they are both in good health but getting this money and donating half of it to LGBTQIA charities will be all worth it!
Gay pirate time?
I’m bi and I would’ve stayed in the closet a while longer for 7 million dollars. Might’ve been hard, but totally worth it in the end
Howdy Jaime! Thought I'd share some positive family foo: My sister's youngest came out to me as NB before anyone else in the family. They were 12 at the time. (TBF, they came out to their parents the day after they test-ran it with me. Was fun to be able to tell them I was dating a GF-NB-IS person, and would support them 100%, and if they had ANY questions about binding or the like, they could ask my joyfriend.) Their Confirmation was this last sunday, and I flew 3500km to attend. After the ceremony I did my usual checking up on pronouns, and he is now comfortable enough to have me call him he. (And just me. If he goes He/him with too many people he'll get booted from Girl Scouts, and he isn't quite where he wants to be when he walks away.) I'm happy to help the little dude be his most authentic self, and am glad he figured himself out in his teens. His parents and at least his grandmother are supportive as well.
I'll be getting him a nice velvet Pride kilt for his 16th birthday. I recommend checking out Verillas' pride kilts, they're quite impressive, and VERY comfy.
The first one reads like the origin story of your rich, childless, lesbian aunts who give thee best Christmas presents.
The uncle is a true ally , that information was protection.
My child is out to everyone except my parents. If she chooses to tell them then we'll deal with the reaction when it comes but for now this is how she's happiest.
(Me, who is still a closeted bisexual in the family) you guys are getting paid😢
I’d stay closeted and then take the money, and try to help lgbtq charities with some of it while living my best life and pursuing art and acting. It seems like perfectly reasonable advice especially if the uncle isn’t phobic he just wants to protect her.
Semi regular reminder that you're all awesome and valid just the way you are. I love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
get that dough gal~~
part of me would maybe suggest coming out to a small part of the relatives if she want a few she can be herself around for the year or two she have to keep it a secret, but I realize it could be risky without knowing for sure they also aren't homophobes who would tattle to the grand parents just to keep the money away from her out of spite
Coming out is an interesting one. I think I was the same - after my romantic awakening, I spent a few days having a sexuality crisis (and bingeing this channel, actually) and figuring out how to accept this new thing about myself, and then I immediately told my parents, sister and grandparents. It was so important to me that they know, even if they didn't particularly see it as a big deal.
The real solution that would get the niece the money and not require being closeted for years is murder.
I agree about the niece staying in the closet, especially for that amount of money.
If it was me, I would keep quiet until I got the money, & then donate some of the inheritance to LGBT+ charities in the bigot's name 😁
"Mate, I think you should just hold off until the bigots die." I am gonna say that more than I should, thank you very much. Haha
First story, I definitely agree with the uncle. I would have *definitely* stayed in the closet for a couple of years for 7M bucks lmao
Jammi talking about when he came out as trans and how his parents felt concern for his safety and wellbeing brought tears to my eyes. I had the same concerns when my son came out to me as trans almost a year ago.
I am so utterly proud of him for being true to himself and for starting learning conversations with the other kids at his school. My son will be 11 next week and his coming out anniversary is in 2 weeks.
I had a similar situation with my mom when she learned I was an atheist. Literally the first words out of her mouth (after staring at me in shock) were, "don't tell your grandma."
1) Take homophobic money. 2) Profit. 3) Turn it into gay money.
Recently transitioning trans fem. 26 and 7 weeks in… ty for your content! Your stuff is helping me keep away from the harmful shit on the internet (I’ve been stuck there for awhile trying to fight for people to respect us). It’s been terrible and you brighten up my day!
Yup, gotta say I agree with you. In the first story, the uncle's concern was for the child. In the second story the mother's concern was for herself. That in itself tells you where the person's heart lays and I gotta say, I'm saddened to hear that the mother had less care for her own child than for herself.
Years ago I read an article saying that when children (adult or children) come out , their parents, also, come out. We tell people (especially LGBTQ+ youth) to make sure they are in a safe place. Parents are just thrown into it, whether they are ready or not. Do I think people should wait until their parents are ready. No! It's just something to consider when judging others responses to their children coming out.
When I came out to my mom, he response was, "Don't tell your father!" I don't know if it was for me or her that she was concerned. Fast forward a few years and I was quite active in the LGBTQ+ community. We wanted to show a movie as a fund raiser. My parents lived in a small town and I didn't think it would be fair to my dad for him to find out about me from the owner of the movie theater ( that I was going to ask if we could hold our fund raiser at his theater. So I went to my parents and acted as if I was coming out to both of them at the same time. My dad, whom my mother was so concerned about his reaction, stood up, gave me a hug, and said, "You know we will always love you." My mother almost fell off her chair. I was grateful that I didn't wait later to tell my dad; he would have missed out on me being joyful being me.
I just love "mate could you just hold off till the biggots die"
The one about the mother not wanting her son to come out because of how it makes her feel...that hits hard. That's what happened with my Mum when I came out and 17 years later it still bothers me.
As someone who is part of a family that was written out of a will, controlling people will find any number of reasons to cut you out/down. They are sick people. My mothers step father(who left her nothing), approached me about him adopting me at 20 years old. He did this because he knew it would crush my mother and father(who step grandpa hated).. also he expected me to jump on the chance to be his son and part of the family business/will.. to this day nobody misses him. After he died his 2 step daughters, who raised his 2 biological sons, received nothing while his 2 sons inherited roughly 10 million.
This all happened before I came out at 22ish.
There is something so ridiculously wholesome in having such comfort with your masculinity that you're happy to borrow your wife's clothes. I really love that, just as a concept
My parents are rich bigots and I do fully plan to live the next 10-20 years if my life in the closer for that inheritance.
Luckily I’m in a “hetero” relationship (I’m AFAB NB, and Bi, partner is a man) so it’s easy to hide it, but I feel so icky. Like I’m lying to myself, the world, and leaving the rest of the community to struggle while I wait for my piece of the privilege pie.
That first one, he's not saying "don't come out at all" just for a while to keep her safe from bad family members, NTA also living well off money a bigot would have hated to give you is pretty good revenge
7 million is life changing. He didn't tell her she had to stay in the closet, he informed her that if she were to come out she would lose more money than any of us may see in our entire lifetimes
that uncle is a true ally lmao, I mean damn, really looking out for his niece's financial well-being, just really wants her to be happy and well-off
Normally the acceptable example of advising someone not to come out is when it is a safety concern for themself like when they are a minor who depends on bigoted parents for basic needs. How refreshing is it to hear one with a payoff of $7 million in a reasonably short time instead of not having to fear for their personal safety? Also, seems like uncle just pointed out the situation and left it up to her to decide. Most assuredly NTA. In fact, might have been TA if he hadn’t advised as he did.
You might not be able to pray away the gay but you sure as heck can pay away the gay 😂
TEMPORARILY of course 😂
For the first story, inheriting the money as a lesbian would be a win, not only a personal one, but a win for all the gays. Would be the biggest "sike!" ever. Coming out and not inheriting the money would be a win for the homophobes.
back up your kid. when they're ready to come out, and they tell you, you say "ive got your back" and you tell ANYONE who opposes them "love him or lose him AND US TOO"
the dance Jamie does ✨
If I was that 17 year old girl, i'd do my damndest to get a chance to stand up and say something at the funeral and then use THAT as a chance to come out to the rest of the family, and still walk away with that 7 million.
Nah, she should wait until the will has been probated. There could very well be a coda in the will about someone coming out after the grandparents death. Make sure you got the money in the bank.
For #1, It seems obvious that the uncle would support her if she did come out. He just wanted her to have financial security. But I would also check to make sure that she is okay. If not coming out would have serious mental health consequence, she would have to weigh that.
I love when Shabba says, “Let’s dive into the a-holes!” 🤣😂
Agh but it would be such a shame that the grandfather would never know, imagine the rage if the money was already in the girl's posession and the grandfather couldn't do anything and she came out to him.
That'd be such sweet karma, if only.
12:41 I mean I can't help but think that this mother has a good relationship with her parents if she cares so much what they'll say.
If she does in fact have her parents close, then it's very reasonable for her to be afraid of ruining that relationship. No one wants their loved ones to turn on them.
Just gotta say, no one's "loved ones" should turn on them for doing something that harms no one and literally can't be changed (accepting her gay son). That is not the act of someone who is loving.
Being raised in a high-control religion myself, I would say it's much more likely the mother is AFRAID of her parents, because she knows they won't accept her if she isn't exactly how they think she should be.
1st story: OP is absolutely not in the wrong. I'm currently staying in the closet so I can finish my higher education, since I know I'll be cut off if I do come out.
watching this video makes me realize how lucky I am to have such a supportive family, I didn’t even have an official “coming out” cause I felt safe talking with them about my life and eventually they just knew
I never told grandma and they burnt her corpse a few months ago, it did leave a gap between us but that was probably better than the alternative.
First of all, Shaaba's AITA videos are great! I can't get enough of them.
Secondly, ally uncle is definitely looking out for niece's best interests. It's not fun hiding who you are, but with the rich payout of financial security, as well as the opportunity to spite a bigot, it seems worth it.
Finally, the parents of the 13 year old are definitely TA. As Jamie said, their main concern is themselves. Clearly, their acceptance of their son is reluctant. They're ashamed of him. As someone else mentioned, they shouldn't be discussing their son's sexual orientation with their friends. That's a breach of his privacy and his trust. I hope they change their ways quickly. Their son deserves and needs better.
Yeah nah, yes admits at the end that she did it because she is afraid of being judged. The compromise is being honest. Ask for a bit of time for her to process her feelings about this (because she's not ok with it yet) before coming out to other family members so she can better support him in case anybody had an "adverse reaction".
i think the compromise is giving her as much as a heads up as possible as to when he plans on coming out, not for him to delay it for her sake.
@@babs_babs delay coming out (maybe a week or two) would only be so the mum can be a firmer supporter rather than ending up caving in to criticism. And he wouldn't need to keep it from friends and schoolmates.
@@mikna5758 thing is it’s not a straight persons place to dictate when someone should come out. “hide who you are because I need time to think about it” isn’t a fair trade at all. the compromise is for the kid to keep open communication, not for the mom to hijack the kids coming out because she’s still got homophobic feelings to work through.
@Stop lgbt ok. thanks for the engagement. really helps this channel out.