I Don’t Want An LGBTQ+ Child | r/AITA
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2023
- Expected to go back in the closet and not wanting an LGBTQ+ child are a couple of the topics in today's Am I The A*****e episode.
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Saying a bi person is "straight at the moment" because they're in a "straight" relationship, is like saying I'm aromantic because I'm single at the moment. It just doesn't makes sense
Or maybe he just confuses his gf with a werewolf xD
Aww shit I guess I need to update my tender profile with aromantic bc that logic is flawless! xD
Bi-erasure angers me no end; so does the "pick a side" crowd; which is essentially bi-erasure.
I remember when Anna Paquin came out as bi, and Larry King was so confused because she was married to a man so "how could you be bi?" Um... because she's attracted to women as well as men, maybe? It's not a complicated thought Larry; try thinking for maybe 1 or 2 seconds before asking such a stupid question.
Literally a perfect rebuttal. 🙏🔥 Thank you for this lowkey.
@@JankoWalski-hz3lu I used the werewolf metaphor for my bisexual self earlier tonight! Whether in wolf-mode or person-mode, still werewolf!
Do the “I’m not homophobic, but” people realize that actions speak louder than words?
I hope at some point they do
They don't even always have full awareness of their words, so honestly? Who knows how much else they miss
I think this is as a result of people not realising that empty flag waving is pointless unless backed by real change/support. It's like corporations putting up the pride flag while also lobbying for anti-lgbtq bills.
"I'm not homophobic, but [insert extremely homophobic thing here]"
If you're not homophobic? You never, **ever** need a "but".
@KateWick1997 What? That does not correlate with anything? They can understand what it is but being a furry is just who they represent if there here I think they know what it is
My own mother told me it was “inappropriate” to tell my ADULT coworker about me being non-binary and to explain what that meant in a public setting because she thinks sexuality and gender are the exact same thing. Keep in mind, my coworker asked me to explain it because she genuinely wanted to understand the concept, we were talking at a relatively low volume, we kept the conversation PG-13 at worst, and there were no children present. But me explaining the concept of being non-binary to my coworker was something that should only be discussed behind closed doors, according to my mother. When I tried to counter with “if a woman walked into Walmart and announced that she was a woman, would that be inappropriate?” My mom shut down and refused to answer the question because “that would never happen” and she wouldn’t even entertain a hypothetical. I think it’s safe to say that no, that would not be inappropriate.
that just smells of transphobia
@@jotunfalls4026 yea, it was literally just her being transphobic towards me while attempting to disguise it as concern.
@mactepok31 lol, cope
This has actually happened to me as well… it doesn’t help that my dad is my boss
So does she think having mens and womens bathrooms identified is NSFW?
Ugh, I've had people tell me I shouldn't be allowed at pride because I'm ace because it means I'm making a mockery of LGBT people. I'm trans. 🤦
even if you are ace, that doesn’t make you any less lgbtq+
*ace fistbump* sorry you had to deal with that crap
I'm Trans AroAce and nobody wants either of my identities in the community. Have you heard of Lgb? It's like this very transphobic organization consisting of Lgb people. Very weird. "it isn't a sexuality" they say to trans people, even though the Queer community was founded by transgender people 😐
I'm also asexual and I definitely consider myself to be queer sorry that some people are so disrespectful and don't understand asexuality
IMHO, in a sex-obsessed society where being in intimate relationships and/or marriages is still seen as the norm for adults, ace people are definitely outliers an therefor belong in the LGBT+ community.
imagine if racists worked the same way homophobes do. "you can't show them black people what if they get confused?" SOUNDS MORONIC DUNNIT
Just exposes how dumb everything like this is. It's like "oh no! you're not fitting into my narrow world. I need to protect my kids so they don't turn out like you"...
Wasn't this actually a thing people thought at one point
I am betting that has happened at some point in history, lol.
it's not a one for one comparison but that was sort of a thing back in the day. Black people would only ever get bit parts on tv so when they aired the shows in the south they could cut the scenes with black characters out without making the plot unfollowable. I remember reading about how Hogan's Heroes deliberately put the black guy in charge of communications so if they cut his scenes out it'd be impossible understand the plot.
I think this still happens somewhere….
Honestly, I don’t think that girl with Mr ‘I’m not homophobic’ will be enjoying ‘straight privilege’ much longer
This shite reminds me why i wont ever be in a relationship with a cishet person...
I just wanna be around ppl who fully understand queer shite, and too many cishets like this exist to risk it
he's gonna have to change his sexuality to asexual real soon
@@gristenBest comment
@@gristenhey now, there’s a difference between being asexual and being involuntarily celibate. One being that asexuals are actually part of the LGBTQ+ community 😂
@ville2_what if the world was made of pudding
That "You're not part of the community" line hit hard. I thought I was a lesbian and had exclusively dated women until I reached my 30s, and fell in love with a man. One of my gay besties exclaimed, "OMG, so you were straight all along?" (Yeah, that's why I was engaged to a woman for three years - I'm an undercover agent for The Straight Agenda! 🙄)
I still get hassled by straight people who can clearly see I'm not straight, but now that I have a male partner I don't feel comfortable going to Pride any more. I definitely feel excluded from both communities.
That really sucks, peoples are really weird with bisexuals (and everything under that umbrella) for some reason, lets make a bi army! :p
-fellow bisexual (omnisexual, but it falls under the umbrella and i felt like bisexual is the better term to use for this conversation 😅)
Feel that man. Being a biromantic asexual who has dated males a lot due to family expectations but now realizing I actually prefer anyone and any gender BUT a cis straight male. And ofc it seems the straight and lgbtq community shun us and we can’t be a part of either. Go to pride tho! Just because you’re dating a male does not mean you’re any less bisexual or any more “straight” you’re what you define your sexuality is! But I know it can feel intimidating and scary sometimes when you feel you can’t be a part of either community :(
When LGBTQIA+ people try to shun you from PRIDE, ask them what the third letter of LGBTQIA+ stands for? Ask them why they think you stop liking women because you are dating a male. Ask them if they think you stopped admiring a good attractive female because you are in a relationship with a man. Trust me, straight men check out other women even when they are in a committed relationship and don't have any intention of dating them (well, a lot of them don't cheat, but the cheaters stand out more), and I am sure the same goes for gay women and gay men, I know as a straight female, I check out guys bodies that work out all the time even when I am in a relationship. That doesn't mean I want to date them. Actually, most muscle men, I wouldn't date anyway. They are eye candy and that is all. There always seems to be a disconnect between muscles and the brain. The bigger the muscles the less brain power they have! I can enjoy the look but I am not romantically attracted to them. I like men who are intellectual nerds, who game, and build PCs, and are creative, or at least hold creativity in high regard.
All of this to say, that if you are bi, you are still going to get caught from time to time enjoying eye candy from both genders even though you are in a committed relationship, but because you are bi, the straights are going to take issue with it, even though these same straights pass around eye candy throughout the internet. I think I confuse my friends because I will comment😊 on a bodybuilder man, but then turn around and share some intellectual nerdy geek as "HOT". There is a word for people like me who find intelligence a turn-on more than looks.
I've definitely felt weird at pride, occasionally, looking straight with my partner when I'm trans and bi, and so are they.
same
I will always despise the "they're too young to know!" types of parents. I had my first gay crush in kindergarten, I just didn't know that's what it was because I didn't know that was allowed!
It’s just a bs excuse bigoted parents give to outsiders. In reality what they really mean is that they are sheltering their kids from the parts of reality they disaprove of for as long as possible, and if it could be forever all the better.
Tbh i might found one ex-friend of mine attractive, but i was like 10 or 11, i don't know if these feelings were platonic or not. But that doesn't matter as he ditched our 5 year friendship & left me to dust, just to join many other people who bullied me
If only u knew how much hatred i have inside my heart
I don't have some perfect advice, but i sense the pain in this, and for what it's worth I'm sorry that ex-friend ditched you when it sounds like they were a refuge from the bullies. That's really crappy. And people didn't have the right to bully you, I'm sorry that happened as well. I also wanna just say that you're still *you*, no matter what happened in the past. So, it's possible the feelings were romantic back then. But of course that's for you to unpack when you feel ready.
I guess what i'm trying to say is:
1): Do your best to not let the actions of that ex-friend shut you off from discovering a part of yourself you may have felt back then, but have since buried. They treated you badly and don't deserve to make you more angry/sad in the present or near future. Easier said than done, I realize- but you deserve to feel better, even if things are crappy right now. When you feel ready, unpacking your romantic and/or sexual identity could be a positive and freeing thing for you.
+ 2): *Things do get better*. I know it may be unbelievable now, and it may take lots of time, as the future is unknowable. That can be scary and frustrating, yes, but also can fuel a sense of hope. A light in the darkness, however dim it may be now. But in the near future, that light can be brigher. Brighter than you could imagine right now.
All that said, I really, sincerely wish you the best. (Great username, by the way!)
-casey
@@theceoofeggmansempire5214
Same exact thing with me! My very first crush on a girl (well, excluding Shania Twain lol) when I was in first grade! I thought she was really pretty so I told her all the time that she was, and I saw that it made her happy so I kept doing it and always wanted to hang out with her. This was of course in the mid-nineties and I thought that gay just meant boys who liked boys (the only gay person I knew at that time was a guy who used to cut my hair), I had no clue what bisexuality or anything else was. I certainly didn't register my crush as a crush. Just because children may not have the language for it doesn't mean that they aren't already aware of it.
@@caseys2698 Well, i discovered ur message few hours ago. Nice Undertale refference, i never really got romantically attracted to men recently, only sexually
Tbh i was jealous of ace people too, but not in a bad way. I was self-aware abt it & they r always valid to me.
Thanks Casey!
Broke: "I don't want an LGBT kid."
Woke: "I don't want an LGBT-phobic society."
I would rather a gay son than a transgender daughter. Because at least my gay son would be a healthy, fully developed, grown through puberty, sexually reproductive functioning sex organs, adult sized genitalia that function, not an'orgasmic, without blockers to prevent him to become an adult male.
@@LifeLiberty-rn6bq by your logic, he wouldn’t be able to use it properly, as he is gay
@@LifeLiberty-rn6bq Silence, bot.
@@LifeLiberty-rn6bqWell, no offense, but given the state of what gender dysphoria does to your brain, you'd most likely have a dead son.
This is the same as not allowing someone with schizophrenia to go onto the meds they need. Yes, it's hard to face reality and come to terms that your child isn't part of the 99% and is suffering from a medical condition that with our current resources and knowledge cannot be changed solely through theapy. But frankly, if you'd rather your child succomb to suicide than supporting their transition, you should not become a parent. Same way you don't deny a child a donor or chemo therapy when they have cancer.
@@LifeLiberty-rn6bq do you know how puberty blockers work?? it stops puberty only so long as you are on them after you stop taking them you age normally and start puberty again
The boyfriend who's against LGBTQ+ pride gives off "I'm not racist, but" **proceeds to say something unintentionally racist** energy.
To be fair I'm not racist but humans are awful
u̶n̶intentionally
For real. It sounds like someone who says they’re not racist and that they’ve got no problem with any race, but hate mixed raced ppl.
It’s just annoying ppl constantly ostracize bisexual ppl. When they’re single they’re bi (or as bi as they can be with ppl demanding they present as one or the other). Then they start dating someone and are no longer bi, they’re either straight or gay. That’s not how any of this works. Your relationship doesn’t define you or your sexuality.
The boyfriend there doesn't actually understand how sexuality works. It's kind of sad.
He doesn’t seem to understand how being bisexual/pansexual works. Her being in a hetero relationship does not erase her bisexuality nor does her being in a gay one.
As a bi girl who has only ever dated boys, I hate the idea that our sexuality is erased because of who we date/sleep with. I just asked out a girl for the first time since I came out, and had to face comments from my family about how I was now "bisexual in practice" and that it was no longer "theoretical". Like, that's not how it works. My sexuality isn't determined by who I've been with, but who I'm attracted to. It's not like they were "theoretically" straight until they were in their first relationship. They knew who they were attracted to and that was enough. Why is that never enough for LGBTQ+ people? Why do I have to justify who I am because I haven't dated a woman yet??
@mactepok31 *burning
*in
*profile
no fr. just cause i’ve never dated a man doesn’t make me less gay 😭 same for bi people. being in a m/f relationship is literally part of the bi experience for most bi people
I've been very attracted to women my whole life. Almost had 2 girlfriends, but didn't because of closeted and then just bad timing. I've had 2 male partners. (I'm demi sexual too). Doesn't mean I'm straight. I'm more sexually attracted to women, just have happened to only be with men 😅
@@steampunkwardyn yeah not to excuse that they where hurtful it dose sound like it could be just playing around. It's the kind of s me and my sis would say to eachother playfully cause our sense of humour is warped
I feel you so hard. When I was younger and had only relationships with men so far, everyone was confused when I said I was bisexual and would ask me if I'd ever had a date, partner, kiss, or sex with a woman, to find out if I'm virtue signaling or an actual bisexual. It was so irritating and a lot of the time nowadays, even tho ive slept with and made out with and been on dates with women, people still don't consider me a "real" bisexual because ive never full on dated a woman. It's so annoying cuz I am bisexual. This is not something I should have to prove to other people.
I had a girlfriend that was adamant about believing straight people should not be allowed at Pride events, and sick of seeing "straight couples" there.
But I was always like... What about people that are straight and trans, NB, questioning, bi people in hetnorm relationships, straight Queens and Kings, Asexual people, the list goes on.
I'm bi and Andro, should I not be allowed if the partner or even friend I'm with makes it appear like I'm straight?
Like the unfortunate opposite of "we can always tell" but instead with straight passing couples. Like is a bi or a t4t couple not LGBT? Very silly.
How about allies? Plenty of parents go to Pride events to show support to their children. Especially in countries where the LGBTQ+ community is oppressed and/or severely threatened I would say having allies openly show their support at the very least adds numbers and therefore protection to the parade / event.
As for the homophobic boyfriend, this relationship has no hope unless he grows up.
It infuriated me that segment but it really sounds like a lot of what was said was based on ignorance and insecurity. Hopefully the thread was able to educate him a little bit.
My mother said something similar when I married a man "oh, you finally picked a side, good for you".
At least him going onto the AITA page means he's trying to find some answers (hopefully) and not a vacuum to vent into.
His replies are filled with him arguing with people, claiming he's being "disrespected" and "will never understand why he should just expected to be disrespected. " I think what he wanted was for people to agree with him.
@@maxc.2411 I don't go onto the forum myself, so thanks for the update. But this is sad... from my understanding, the forum is supposed to be about self-reflection and personal growth by receiving advice and opinions from outside parties.
@maxc.2411 do you have a link to the post? I can't find it
@@jeddybear5909He chooses to play the victim card instead of focusing in the advice, he's simply looking for excuses.
Telling kids about lgbt+ people is easy and harmless.
As soon as they were old enough to acknowledge boyfriend and girlfriend relationships we would just add "and some boys have boyfriends and some girls have girlfriends" etc.
Like, this is a thing that exists. You dont have to complicate it any further.
Not teaching kids about it doesn't prevent them from learning about it independently, it just causes them to learn about it online.
the parents that don't want kids learning about homosexuality want themself to be the first person to introduce it, so that they can control the narrative
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle.
@ville2_silence, unwanted commercial content or spam
Fr, I did not know what gay/lesbian was until I was in year 5, and I'm still part of the LGBTQ+ community, teaching kids about it or not will not change how they feel. I was so confused as to why everyone was saying things about boys that I didn't feel, and even once I knew what gay was I denied it for 4 years that I was gay. ( for clarification, in this comment, I am using gay as an umbrella term)
"My girfriend is bi, but she's not part of the LGBT community"
He must think the B is like BDSM or something?
When I was 16 my dad turned to me and said “If you ever come out as gay, I will disown you” and then chuckled as if he said something funny. It was WEIRD. Jokes on him though, I cut off contact with him ten years ago and I’m never going back. He became the one who was disowned and it gives me happiness to know that 🥰🥰
Good on you for getting away from him, hope you’re doing well in life
My dad used to tell me that I couldn’t date boys. But, when I told him that wasn’t going to happen he stopped talking to me, got my aunt and grandparents to stop talking me, and tried to get my sisters to do the same. He’s a piece of work but that’s not my project anymore
W COMMENTER ‼️🗣️🔥 (I am so late)
Don't cry Dingle Berry Pie. He doesn't miss you. Prolly has a new Boo and goes out hunting and playing pool with his new and better step-son. He ain't lonely.
I think it'd be even funnier if you were straight. Why? Cause it would mean he alienated you for no reason. It would mean you became what he hoped you'd be (except homophobic) and yet still lost your respect. That would be hilariously ironic. Regardless of whether or not you're straight, however, mad respect to you!
On the lgbt center one:
This is her job. This is her area of expertise. He's telling her that not only her job, but the entire organization that she works for is unnecessary. She has every right to shut him down for that level of insult and dismissiveness of her and her occupation.
That's also a good aspect! And she's the expert and he's a guy who clearly doesn't have a clue, but a stick up his butt on how unfair this is. 😅😮
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle.
My 'not homophobic, but...' sister was confused when I told her that our bisexual cousin was still bisexual even though she was married to a man. I then asked her if she ever thought a man other than her own husband was attractive, and she was, like, 'oh'. It's *really* not that hard of a concept to have, so idk why people can't wrap their head around the fact that your relationship doesn't define your sexuality...
I feel like people often fixate too much on a word 'sex' in [whatever]sexual, so in their minds it IS first and foremost about that. Which is obviously ridiculous, and your example shows it very well. And to add to it - even very heterosexual people can judge attractiveness of the people of the same sex, in strictly esthetical manner, right? Like, I'm presuming people use female models in, say, female fashion magazines because other women are supposed to look at the pictures and go: oh, she's so pretty and cool, and she's wearing this dress, and so I'll be as pretty and cool if I buy the same dress. Not, like, oh, this girl is pretty, I want to have sex with her, so… I should buy this dress?
@@saneshko people fixate on the -sexual part so much they sexualize asexuality. Apparently being ace makes me dangerous to kids. 😬
@@saneshko The ones that conflate sexuality and gender issues into just " it's about sexual intercourse." are predominantly conservatives. To them _everything_ is about sex.
Partly it is because they are so sexually repressed. But I think there is an element of " that is gross and should be kept indoors... where all sex should be." They do not understand that two men holding hands as they walk down the street is not gross, and does not have to be kept indoors.
Ironically the very people that think two men holding hands in Public is gross, will then go suck face, but since it is a hetero couple,... that makes it ok.
Sometimes I despair that cis-hetero normativity will ever be curbed. I hope it will, as a Transgender woman, I hope for the day when me being trans becomes as worthy of note as me having Brown eyes, or being right-handed.
If what my married bi friend says is true, she's likely cheating on her husband or sleeping with women and her husband knows.
Whenever I hear something like that it makes me want to ask if they think everyone who is single is asexual. It just makes no sense.
Frankly, the easiest response to "you can't be bi while you're part of a 'straight' relationship with me" would be "we're not in a straight relationship anymore. Goodbye" Lol
Just my opinion.
I’ve never understood why people confuse being bi with being non-monogamous 🤷🏻♀️ Just because you’re attracted to more than one gender doesn’t mean you’ll be unfaithful.
Says more about them I guess.
Right? I'm bi and don't want to sleep with other have any relationships with EITHER gender.
So I’ve had this debate with my mum 🤣🤣 (I’m bi I came out a couple of years ago). She could accept me more if I was straight or a lesbian but she doesn’t like the idea of bisexuality cause to her she’s worried that implies to a partner that I’m with that I’m still looking at others sexually(can’t even remember her exact words that entire conversation was draining and confusing as fuck 🤣😅🤣). It doesn’t make sense because the argument holds true for straight relationships as well by her logic. It’s just cause we’re sterotyped as being ‘horny’ so everyone assumes that we are extremely sexual when all it means is that when we are looking for a potential partner we have more options (potentially) than a person that is Gay/Straight because we have a larger portion of the population to pick from.
Just a reminder that non-monogamous individuals are not necessarily “unfaithful.” (Many) people who are not exclusive with their partners hold consent and communication high on their priority list. If one has more than one romantic and/or sexual partner does not mean that they are doing so (or would do so) behind their partners backs.
Unfortunately those who go behind their partner’s backs to be non-exclusive does taint the reputation of polyamory and open-relationships. And that is something to recognise, but it should not define what being non-exclusive is.
The parents who pull out the "it's OUR job to teach our kids those things" are almost always the same parents who will never tell their kids about "those things" and just hope their kid never runs into irl
They're also often the parents who forget that it takes a village to raise a child, right up to the point of needing help.
Really, his response to "It's out job to teach our kids those things" is, "Stop blaming me because you failed to do your job." If the kid is old enough to ask about romatic relationships, they are ipso facto old enough to know gay people exist. It indeed is the parents job to educate their kids about it. And if the kid is asking other people about their romatic relationship and just finding out in response same sex relationships exist, it means the parents FAILED to do their job.
real. i think im honestly really lucky my parents actually tell me about this shit (like how im autistic) and dont really care what i identify as for the most part. the fact that ppl dont want other ppl to know about a solid 10-15% of the world population is so fucking stupid imo
Facts. I was kept in the dark about a lot of things growing up.
"i don't want my girlfriend to go to pride"
i feel like this is going to end up biphobic.
"since she's dating me (a man) she isn't gay anymore so she shouldn't go >:("
i mfing *_CALLED IT._*
Bro's a neckbeard
It's pretty dumb how people assume all bi people are no longer bi once they're either in a gay or straight relationship.
Like why can't bi people just be bi and not have people assume they're now gay or straight ffs
@@Mushroom._.Goblinfrrr although I do have one singular mildly funny story to do with that sorta thing-- Years back I was walking with a friend (who identified as cishet at the time) and somehow friend 2 got brought up, who is bi, and she was dating a guy at the time, and while I don't remember the full conversation, the one thing that will be forever burned into my brain is friend 1 saying that friend 2 was "straight at the moment" and I just- That's not how that works-
Friend 1 has also realised they are bi now. And trans. Safe to say he has learned--
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle...
@stoplgbtb ?
Say it with me, people!!!
YOUR SUFFERING DOES NOT DETERMINE WHETHER YOU'RE A PART OF THE LGBTIA COMMUNITY
Your suffering is not a requirement to be part of us, it's just an unfortunate side effect of us being us and people not liking that.
You're loved, you deserve love and don't anyone tell you that you need to suffer a minimum to get it.
As a AMAB turned NB seeking HRT I'm excluded from the transfem hate for now. However I'm still transgender. I'm still seeking surgery and hormones.
But I'll be dammed if people want to exclude me from the suffering. I wanna stuffer too! XD
In all seriousness. I fully agree. Be you Trans, ace, bi, gay, etc. you are absolutely still part of the LGBTQ community and realistically always will be.
And I sure as hell would lend ya a hand on the condition ya don't go hating others from here.
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
it's also. asking people to suffer before they "get" to be part of the community. it's promoting imposter syndrome, and missing the whole point overall. we WANT queer people to not suffer. the very idea some who don't, or rather who suffer less, exist is fantastic. it shows we've progressed. but if the LGBTQIAP+ movement is supposed to ONLY allow those who suffer, progress would innately shrink the community - making it eventually ineffectual at actually creating or upholding what it exists to create. like, don't get me wrong, in a perfect world, we wouldn't need the community or movement either. but a gatekeeping community will fall short far beyond that point, because if we can earnestly say there are still any people suffering for who they are (which, in this hypothetical would be the prerequisite to anyone being in the community), then we're not there yet.
Tell that to the Ace community. If you're Ace there's a lot of people who try to invalidate that they're part of the LGBT community as well.
@@JerryCasual006nah, trans and non-binary are two totally separate categories. You cannot categorically belong to both.
You are a valid part of the LGBT community, but you are not both non-binary and trans.
💛🥔 I have been coming into my bi-pride & the mentality that just because I'm engaged to a man that I'm straight was something that I internalized & invalidated myself with. 💔
From a fellow bi girl I hope that your fiance is like my husband and the opposite of the OP from that post. Mine is so chill about it and we check out b00bies passing in the street together now 😂😂 he fully has understood and accepted that I love him and that my attraction to women and men is exactly the same amount of threatening to our marriage as his attraction to women is.
@Ruby-yn5fp 💗 Aww! Yeah, I found a good one (this time 😅). Even in any talk with the kids, he is inclusive in his language, using "partner" if they ask hypothetical future questions for themselves & including that you don't need a partner to be happy if you don't want one. He approaches every conversation without assuming their sexuality. They can wear whatever they want from whatever section of the store, he paints all the kids' nails. 💗 Our kids will never have to question whether or not they'll be accepted.
@@kia.tarsia I am sure you will from your comment, but make sure that their toys are a mix of everything, and let them pick which ones they are attracted to. I am almost 60 and grew up a tomboy who was never allowed to play with "boy's toys". I am so glad that your kids have a father who will allow them to be who they are and wear the clothes that they want. I had to play basketball and soccer in dresses, and I was a sophomore in High school before I was allowed to jeans to school. I really love your comment and the painting of all their nails... OMG! I want to get a huge male dog and name it Tinker Bell, to piss off the phobes! Yeah, I am straight, but I am so sick of gender roles, toys, names, tools, hobbies, and so on and so forth.
@@Ruby-yn5fp I am almost 60 and one of my favorite memories from Fashion Design College back in the 80s was going to lunch at a sidewalk cafe, and watching the men walk by in suits with my gay male friends. We used to laugh so hard because I have no gay sense, so I was always asking, so is he one of mine or one of yours? Unfortunately, this was during the whole aids pandemic in San Francisco and that is where I attended college, and one of those besties we lost to aids back then.
@RiverWoods111 Yep, they get to play with whatever interests them. My 5 yo girl is avidly into all things bugs. My 8 yo girl's favourite possession is her fishing rod. They wear whatever they want, & the swing between frilly dresses to cargo shorts & superhero capes. Us adults do & promote the same thing; I love building so I demo'd & built our deck, all the tools are mine & my favourite Mother's day gift is my impact drill. My fiance would prefer to cook & do the laundry, his favourite Father's day gifts are a chef style apron set that says "We love you!" from the kids & his convection oven. We independently tried to be the societal norms with exes & only found our match when we stopped pretending to be stereotypical. 💗
I think the issue is that "I don't want an LGBTQ+ child because they will be treated poorly" is too close to "I don't want a disabled child because it will be too much of a struggle" (I don't think LGBTQ+ is a disability, more referencing the fight for equality) which also leaves the icky feeling when you hear it. It's okay to not want your kids to struggle with things, but pushing for a better world instead of trying to squash your (future) child's identity is more appropriate.
It feels icky because their essentislly saying like "I would rather this person not exist".. I think..
This. I surprised my parents twice, first with a congenital birth defect (incomplete left hand) and later with homosexuality (though I’m amazed we didn’t see that one coming). Most parents don’t wish for a disabled baby; mine spent close to a year mourning my hand. Personally I see how you people function at all with your gigantic left hands, but I respect your life choices as much as I can.
The thing is, we don’t get a choice about who a kid is, especially the ones made DIY. Every kid is a total roll of the dice. The only choice is what kind of environment we inflict on the kids we get. The problem is never, ever, ever with the child and who they are, which is why it feels icky to wish for the child to be a certain way in order to tidily fit our surroundings.
If you're not prepared to have a queer or disabled child, I have an easy solution.
Don't have a child.
Yep, my thoughts exactly! I believe the frustration should be directed to the outside world rather than a potential minority child.
@@LiEnby This is a really good point as well! It's pretty much going in line with the bigots idea that the minority shouldn't exist rather than fighting for said minority.
I love how we can't tell kids about lgbt people but we've been shoving straight romance down their throats since they're babies.
My cousin jokes that his son has "a girlfriend" like bro your son is a literal baby, chill tf out
I'm a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, and still catch myself thinking "Aw, how sweet! He has a girlfriend!" when watching my grandson talk happily with a girl in his kindergarten class. 🙄 Old habits & stereotypes die hard!
Honestly, have you noticed how they do this to their pets, especially dogs? A dog makes a friend of the opposite sex and both are de-sexed with the mental maturity of a toddler, and the humans are arranging a marriage for them??? I am straight CIS and I don't think the CIS Straights are all right???? Do they not understand the creepiness of the whole babies having partners as in romantic partners?
The way he descibed "not wanting lgbt kids" is the exact situation i went through as an autistic mother who has a daughter who just got her diagnosis. I couldnt voice that i was hoping she wouldnt be like me. When she got her diagnosis i wasnt sad or upset. I just didnt want her to live with the stigma and struggle like me. I get that. forsure but not just saying you dont want *blank* child because i dont like it .
Well, the good news for your autistic child is that the tides are changing, and although growing up in school will still be hard unless you can get her into a special school for autistic kids where she will be treated and taught correctly and respected, she will still have the issues you and I grew up with. The good news is that in the next decade, autistic adults will be the most in-demand employees for corporations for jobs that are not forward-facing or autistic-unfriendly (things we don't do well, which NTs have things they don't do well too). My hypothesis is that in the next decade, the job interview that is so prevalent at this time will go completely away, and NTs will have to compete for jobs against us on our terms (for lack of another word). CEOs of some of the biggest companies are recognizing that autistics are 141% more productive, hyper-innovative, and incredible problem solvers, and spending millions on accommodations is nothing compared to the amount of money we increase their profits by. These CEOs are going so far as stating that companies that don't hire us, will go bankrupt and companies that hire us in numbers intentionally with full knowledge that we are autistic, and give us the proper accomodations of private offices, work from home, whatever we need to succeed will thrive and take over their market.
Now we just have to get out of neurotypical school systems and into Neurodivergent school systems because we literally learn in the opposite direction of neurotypicals, and we need different systems and teachers who see us as human beings and not some kind of incapable idiot that has no capacity to think. We are making strides, and with that, since the LGBTQIA+ community makes up over 70% of our community think about how these changes could change those communities too. Although they make up 70% of our community, neurodivergent people make up a much higher percentage of the LGBTQIA+ communities. Me think we need to team up and take back control of the world because we could make it a lot more compassionate society. The NTs are terrified of us doing this because they are terrified of what kind of karma we will throw at them! LOL, let them stew on that for a bit!
@@RiverWoods111 this honestly made me happy sob. I hadn’t thought of it this way and it means the world to me. Thank you 😭😭😭
The good thing is that you understand the struggle so your daughter doesn't have to struggle alone! There's also likely support groups in your area for parents of autistic kiddos which maybe you could find some autistic friends for your kid there so she can see that she's valid. I don't know how old your kid is but I'm in college right now and I've met so many people who are neurodivergent in some way or that are learning more about neurodivergent people and are becoming super accepting of it. It makes my neurodivergent brain super happy. There's hope! Also schools are doing way more now to ensure that students with disabilities or any sorta learning difference can get accommodations to suit their learning styles. Basically I would work on trying to educate and normalize autism to your daughter's friends and peers, they will then just see it as just another thing just like how some people have brown hair and others have blonde - in this case, some people think and act this way and others don't. Kids are remarkably resilient in this way and will just see it as the norm. I suspect that I'm autistic and I know that in many friendships people love how I communicate because I'm very direct and it helps us resolve conflict before it happens and teachers love it because if I'm interested in a topic, I will research it for hours and talk non stop about it. It's going to be ok!!!
@@gracelarmee Thank you so much!! My daughter is 2 years old and knowing how much the world i getting better really warms my heart! I will look into support groups and see what we can do and i have already gotten her into a few therapies to help also. This really gives me a world of hope both as an autistic person and mother of somone with autism.
Ableism is freaking insidious. It’s so ingrained in so many cultures and societies.
I think the thought of someone not wanting an LGBTQ+ child for the child's own future and wellbeing BEING uncomfortable comes from a sense of feeling like having someone tell you to your own face "it would've been better if you weren't born this way", as if you were cursed to suffer the moment you were conceived or some sh*it... I know folk who think that don't mean it that way, but it stings when you think about it 😢
Reminds me an awful lot of the anti-vaccination movement, which was primarily motivated by "I don't want my children getting autism."
This proclamation means that *even* if they knew vaccines work, and that the benefit of having them properly administered to your child means they wouldn't have to deal with debilitating diseases, that was somehow not worth the non-existent risk of autism. Because to them, a child being autistic means they are imperfect, and they don't want an imperfect child, even if it means losing their "perfect" child to a preventable disease later.
It's disheartening.
@saltymcnuggies you are putting it in words perfectly. really hurts if you think about it 😅
I dont necssarily agree. My mom came from I think kind of the same headspace. I came our to her as pan and she was so loving and asked me questions about about it because she couldnt understand it fully at first. But she said to me "Im sorry for the discrimination you maybe will have to endure due to your orientation". I really dont think it necessarily comes from a place of hate or homophobia but rather a lack of understanding/education.
13:00 I notice this pattern a LOT with homophobic people; they always seem to interpret queer spaces and Pride events as something overtly sexual, as if LGBT+ people only meet up in these spaces to hook up and do sexual things. LGBT+ spaces exist so we have strength as a community and non-judgmental places to have fun and live our lives, and I can assure OP that his partner isn’t going to get snatched up at Pride and cheat on him with a woman. So yeah, let’s maybe STOP contributing to the stereotype that all LGBT+ people are only interested in sex, please and thank you.
Edit: OP’s comment about a hypothetical lesbian going to a “straight bar” really cements this belief imo. His idea of LGBT+ spaces is so transparently “a place where gay people go to hook up”, as if he can’t fathom a queer person just… wanting somewhere safe to go out with friends or get a drink where they likely won’t be harassed for their identity.
Also what tf is a straight bar? Am I not allowed to take my gf to Buffalo Wild Wings anymore or something? 😳
Buffalo Wild Wings does have good wings though.
Sadly we’re now all banned from normal bars
@@kooskoos12345I remember the old straight bars. How the police would come and arrest men dancing with women. How the bravest straight man (dressed in men's clothing) threw a brick at the police upon the beginning of a raid. So brave. So true. Now there's one or two straight bars in my town! I'm glad they can be who they truly are for once. It must have been so hard for them, what with heterosexuality being medicalized and criminalized for years, nay, decades. It breaks my heart. 😢
@@amberrichards2778 🥲🥲🥲🥲
if we all go to buffalo wild wings together, they can't stop us. it's the revolution for wings /j
It’s so bizarre to me that parents wait to tell kids that gay people exist. My parents have always had queer friends, and I was always just around them. It was never explained?? Queer couples were never treated any differently than the heteros we knew. And likewise, I didn’t really have to come out to them. When I was 13 I told my mom I was going on a date, she was like “aww, what’s his name?” I was like “it’s Sophie.” And she was like “sweet, don’t stay out too late.” End of story.
Sounds like your parents are pretty awesome
My parents never told me, but that was because they expected me to figure it out
bc of my dads friends who are a couple (and kind of like uncles to me) and their tenants from years ago who were also a couple
I was just oblivious
My and my tiny oblivious self thinking that two men sharing a flat with one bed, one of them slept on the sofa bed 😂
The first time I found out that Lesbians existed(brought up Catholic) was in secondary school when one of the girls in my class, told me NOT to be friendly to this girl from a higher class coz she was *whispers* lesbian. I asked her what the word meant and she said: Weirdos who are attracted to other girls. I got very confused: But she's not hitting on me and im a girl. Apparently that was the wrong response, I was supposed to snicker and laugh and carry on like the others, bullying her. I stayed friends, ignored the bullies(one more reason they hated me) who picked on me because I didnt have a bf, didnt want a bf and didnt want to get married/have kids so they'd sneer and go: Oh are you one too? And I'd go: Nope, not interested in either. We didnt have the Aro/Ace labels back then but that's what I would have been called if they had been around then. Somehow, we are even less recognised and some have told me I cannot be Aro/Ace if i'm cis gendered and had trauma in my past because I'm just being picky and using my bad experience for a reason not to date. According to google, a small % of Aro/Ace individuals have had trauma in their past but that does not mean it was triggered because of it. It's weird. The straights hate everyone who isnt straight, including Ace(which they dont believe we exist) and some of the LGBTQIA won't accept that A is for Ace/Aro because we can't be members because we dont really count because we are NOT attracted to anything. I can't win.
Your parents sound awesome!! I found out cause there was this dumb meme “ur mom gay” meme so I figured it out. I don’t think my dad wants my little brother to know what gay people are because my brother has told me that my dad “doesn’t believe in gay people”. Idk man homophobes are really weird.
@@starscreamthecruel8026 Acephobia is crazy...
I love how nuanced Jamie can be in his takes. I’m queer and non-binary and have three wonderful kids. I’ve worked hard to raise them to know that whoever they grow up to be is going to be completely okay, they can love who they love, dress however they like, and wouldn’t even cut their hair until they were old enough to tell me they wanted to cut it because I take their autonomy that seriously. (Well, except for the one time my 5yo decided to paint his and his brother’s heads with fabric paint…there was no saving that hair.) As much as I’d love to have anyone else in my family be lgbtq+ part of me hopes my kids will never have to deal with how hard it makes life. It’s hard enough that my son (who identifies strongly as a little boy) loves to wear dresses and started kindergarten this year, and is already facing backlash from other students telling him he’s a girl. This is despite me having preemptive talks with his teachers before he started and them making concerted efforts in the classroom to use inclusive language and reading “Pink is for Boys” and “Julian is a Mermaid” in class, and talking to kids about how clothes are just clothes, and are for everyone. I want my kids to be happy, and that includes being exactly who they were born to be. But a tiny part of me hopes they’ll be cis and straight just so they won’t have to deal with all the extra hardships that come with being queer. An even smaller part of me hopes they will be queer, because then I’ll actually have someone in my family who understands me. But it’s not about me, it’s all about them, so I don’t even feel right saying I have these hopes and fears. It’s hard, it’s complex, and I truly appreciate Jamie seeing the nuance that a person might be expressing by saying “I hope my kids aren’t lgbt+” and giving the writer the benefit of the doubt first. There are a lot of fears you experience as a parent. I can’t control much when it comes to my kids, and I can protect them from even less. All I can do is know that whoever they grow up to be, if they are queer, they won’t have a harder time of it because of the home they grew up in. That feels like something at least.
That being said; if you’re not okay with your kids being queer, don’t have kids. It’s highly likely that they may be, and the world is already overpopulated. Don’t become a parent if you are not 100% okay with whoever your kids grow up to be. Just don’t. Too big of a gamble with generational trauma consequences if you lose.
i just want to say thank you so so much for leaving this comment, it really made my day hearing just a couple things about your experience as a queer parent -something i may have to consider in the far future, it’s heartwarming just to hear a bit of it. i watch jamie’s content for the same reason. his takes on things are so thoughtful. i wish you and your family all the best
My brother(who’s straight and cis as far as I know) wore a Dora shirt to school and this caused the teacher to ask why he stole my shirt.(I’m non binary afab) that same brother wanted one of my dresses I never wore it and gave it to him. He loved this dress and walked all around the house with it. Wore it to school and then decided he hated it. My other brother loved the color purple he had a purple lunchbox everything came back from school one day and declared he hated the color purple… even after my mom tried to show him it’s okay to like purple. I was bullied and nearly kicked out of the bathroom for having short hair I wished our elementary school was more accepting..
Love this comment, makes so much sense. You are a wonderful parent!
I'm straight and cis and have one child; I'm a single parent and have been since my child was 1 year old. All the same things as you - you can wear whatever color you want, whatever clothes you want, play with whatever toys you want, watch whatever types of (age-appropriate) shows you want, only cut her hair when she asked to, we talked about everything from families can be made up of any number of people, in many types of relationships. She told me excitedly she had a crush on a boy in kindergarten, in first grade a crush on a girl, a boy in second grade, and so on. I was really happy and hopeful for the next generations that if we current parents can just teach them openly then maybe, maybe they won't grow up with stigmas we did and had to fight against. Like, I grew up in a very conservative, very right-wing, very homophobic area, house, and private religious school. It took a decade of my adult life to unlearn all the hate I had been taught growing up. Even though I am cis and straight and did not experience homophobia or transphobia, I saw it all around me all growing up as if it were in the air and water. Racism and sexism too, of course. Guess this is kind of rambling. I just wanted to say - the better we teach our kids, the better things will get. And also don't count out adults, because even the kids who get raised steeped in all the -isms from their family, community, and religion can STILL get out of it when they become adults and finally get free. Happy to be an ally for many years now.
having allies during the pride parade is so much more meaningful than not having them
The second guy really gives me the ick. It's clear that he doesn't understand his girlfriend's sexuality, but the way he talks about it feels very dehumanizing. I feel that him calling women "females" plays a large part because people who do this often voice opinions that are dehumanizing towards women 😅 I understand his culture plays a part in it and I do assume he's trying, but I do think he needs to sit down and think about his motivations for being this upset at her.
Edit for spelling mistakes
This is why we need to educate kids about non cishet identities.
It reads to me more as him being misinformed, but when misinformed people are properly informed, there’s a nonzero chance of them going the “no science is wrong” route so uh yeah still a moderate chance of them breaking up
@@kooskoos12345"The science is wrong! It conflicts what Judge Janine said at 9 PM on Fucks News!"
It very much has "I don't want my girlfriend hanging around people she might be attracted to because she might cheat" energy. And since she's bi, that sort of insecurity leads to not wanting her to have friends at all, which is obviously unhealthy, but sadly all too common.
@@ShinyTillDawn exactly!!!!! Because everyone knows the Constant Misinformation News Network is never wrong!!!!!!!!!!!
Story 2: YTA - Your girlfriend has this thing called autonomy. She does not need your permission. She's not any different than she was yesterday. She isn't gay or straight based on her current partner. If you have a problem with your girlfriend being bi, find a straight girlfriend. You can't change her, so let her free.
Hope there is an update where she dumps him. He doesn't understand bisexuality.
I giggled with the first line
@@CommanderDarcy What can I say? OP appears to think that his GF is somehow an extension of her partner.
@@JayeEllis He also openly stated he's Arabic.
I hate when people have harmful stereotype that all Arabs treat their women like shit and hate gays. No, sweetie, you're homophobe because you're homophobe, you're sexist because you're sexist, not because you belong to some culture. Enviroment can influence someone's world view but it doesn't mean that all people can be influenced by bad apples.
@@peachesandcream22Um... WTF are you talking about?
This is what I heard a bi person describe being bi. "Think of it like werewolves. When I'm in my human form, werewolf; wolf forma werewolf. Regardless of my form I'm still a werewolf." Then someone commented on it with "True, bisexual people are also werewolves."
Is that why I started dating women after a bi girl bit me? Okay, more of a nibble than a bite, really.
I've encountered the parent version of the last AITA person - I (queer AFAB) had accidentally told my friend (pansexual female) that i liked her when I was drunk. We had a conversation a few days later, where she had said she had told her parents (they didn't know she was pansexual previously) and that basically it would be better for her if she wasn't in a relationship with a woman. Let's just overlook the misunderstanding for a second as I am unfortunately used to it as someone who is agender. My friend told me she understood where her mom was coming from as she was just worried about the discrimination she would face. I tried to tell her that that is valid, but that it doesn't change ur identity as pansexual and it shouldn't mean you have to only be in relationships with men just so you don't get discriminated against. That was the end of our relationship, but I just wanted to share because it shows how even well meaning parents who have these sort of views can hurt people.
Also dw about me, I am now happily engaged to a beautiful woman and am pursuing a career in psychology, so hopefully that'll help me kick some homophobic ass xxx
I think the thing that people who aren't queer don't understand is, pushing people into the closet is discrimination. "I don't want my child to be discriminated against" doesn't hold up if you're going to push them in the closet to keep it that way. Shot in the dark though, I guess.
Good to hear@stoplgbtb. Because we don't want you.
Also In is not spelt with a J
9:31 insecurity or not, op’s gf is still queer. Being in a “hetro relationship” doesn’t make a person any less queer. That’s honestly just gross in so many ways. Even if op’s coming from a place of insecurity, it’s no way a reason that justifies you controlling your s/o, or saying because she’s in a relationship w/ me, she can’t go. Bro, bi, pan, Omni, (and many other labels under the category) exist. Huge ick ngl.
Edit: damn, I hope the gf breaks up with op’s gross ass. She’s a part of the community, no matter if she’s “straight passing.” The fact that op was like “she’s so easy-going” and “she was out of character when” huge gross, ick.
She definitely should break up with him
That guy reaks of incel/neckbeard. I really hope the gf gets the hell outta there. Poor woman
When he said “female” instead of women that was all I needed to hear to know he’s icky. That’s one red flag that has never been wrong for me
@@MA69Supra THIS ☝️
seriously, using this dude's logic when he's single that makes him asexual. welcome to the LGBTQIA community, broski!
If you want to choose when to tell your child about LGBT+ people, why don’t you do it before your child forms a valid question and expects an honest answer.
It's not about choosing when to tell them. It's just they don't like non-cis people
@@eriklagergren7124 I know that, but for that reason they can’t be upset when the question was answered, NTA.
i told my kids about gay people, in almost exactly the same language as OP, when they were 6 and 4 respectively. i think my daughter said something about how boys are only allowed to marry girls, and i just told her matter of factly "actually girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys. there are some boys who only like other boys and some girls who only like other girls. there are some people who like boys AND girls. legally people can marry whoever they want as long as it's an adult they're not related to."
@@eriklagergren7124 sexual orientation (gay/straight/bi) is not the same as gender identity (cis/trans). i think you mean they don't like LGBT people.
@@dietotakuto be honest those parents don't want their child to know about anything other than the cisgender/straight/hetero normative experience. So if they really didn't want their daughter to know about it or ask questions about it either they keep their daughter from the nephew or they should have told/asked the nephew to never say anything to their daughter. They did neither so they have to accept that the nephew will answer any questions their daughter might ask.
Pride events are not a case of looking for partners, erasing relationships, they are, and will always be, a case of displaying pride towards a community full of stuggles, and the fact that people don't understand that is painful
When one of my aunts said she wouldn't want a gay child, I told her that my kid better be queer.
She doesn't talk to me at family gatherings now and I love it.
@mactepok31 Sounds fun. Free country. You can spend money on whatever you want and burn it whatever way won't get you arrested.
I've never had a "proper" relationship with another woman and have mostly dated men, but I'm still bisexual and will always be bisexual no matter who I'm with. I'd be so angry if someone told me I couldn't celebrate a community I'm apart of just because I'm in a heteronormative relationship.
The B in LGBT+ stands for bisexual. You'd think it would be easy for people to understand that.
I've only dated men, and was married to one for 18 years. I'm still bi.
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle...
@@theshire9173Especially considering that majority of the community is made up of Bi people🥺. Please make it make sense
For the LGBTQ+ youth center:
You can have opinions on the matter, but are they opinions that matter?
Thank you for the brain food, it should be occupied for approximately 2 hours now C:
exactly, I, for example, as a white person without the ability to carry a child am allowed to have opinions on topics such as racism and abortion rights, but they should not be taken over the opinions of those who are actually affected by these issues
@@hey...4702geez if this is your edited comment, how bad was the original?
@@hey...4702not your body… not your choice…
@@hey...4702bro idk what you’re thinking of but that’s not an abortion. It’s taking a pill or an injection that causes the body to miscarry. Hurts like the living pits of hell for the person carrying, yeah, but the fetus isn’t developed enough to feel the pain of being aborted so.
Also, no, the second party should not always have a say. It’s the pregnant persons body the fetus is using. It’s their time, their resources, the deterioration of their body. Not the other party.
90's kid here. I grew up literally my entire childhood and most of my teenage life not knowing what Gay was let alone the entirety of the LGBTQ+ movement and it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I actually came to realize that I am and always have been bisexual.
These parents think that if they shelter their children enough, that they will never be LGBTQ but they can't. I was literally 6 years old and knew I liked both boys and girls, I just didn't know why. (I also like anyone in between) I was just never allowed the education to express who I was.
Sounds like the 19 year old girl in the final post needs to get busy doing all she can to make her part of the world a better place for LGBTQ+ people to live - not only for an LGBTQ+ child she might have, but for all the LGBTQ+ people who are all someone's children.
As a Texan my first thought when I heard “I don’t want my gf to go to pride” was about the safety.
Then I heard more and yikes
I also thought this, which is a different flavor of screwed up. The solution was right there: if you're *actually* not homophobic but have insecurities you haven't fully worked thru about being her exception or jealousy about her being flirted with by women, GO WITH HER IN SUPPORT. Pull your head out, dude! There are other straight folk attending. But while I doubt she'd contort herself into this level of offense if say a gay guy hit on him there, he's holding on so tight he's gonna (rightfully) lose her. He chose alone over ally 🤷♀️
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle.
Texas is scary. I was so afraid to come out to anyone because of the homophobia that was in my school daily. It’s actually unsafe to be queer in Texas omg
I'm lucky my parents accept me and my identity as a trans woman, though they were "buttholes" earlier in my transition.
I'm happy to hear that they accept you now, even if they didn't early on.
I would rather a gay son than a transgender daughter. Because at least my gay son would be a healthy, fully developed, grown through puberty, sexually reproductive gunctioning organs, adult sized genitalia. without blocking puvertu to become an adult male.
I would rather a gay son than a transgender daughter. Because at least my gay son would be a healthy, fully developed, grown through puberty, sexually reproductive functioning sex organs, adult sized genitalia that function, not an'orgasmic, without blockers to prevent him to become an adult male.
@@LifeLiberty-rn6bq ...I mean I get where you're coming from (i think) and trying to look at it as positively at I can but
You are aware that there are people who took puberty blockers and then HRT when older who turned out perfectly fine, right? And if you have a transgender daughter, their dysphoria would be likely to increase during puberty without blockers, which would likely have a very drastic effect on their mental health.
@@LifeLiberty-rn6bqi mean, i also probably wouldn’t wish being trans on kids because of all the incredible hardships that arise from that, societal and medical alike, but if your child *is* trans, transitioning care is genuinely life saving
I’m AFAB and went to pride and told my boyfriend (now ex 🤭) that I was bi and his response was a very snotty ‘of course you are’ lol byeeeeeeee
At a new year’s party with my husband we caused a child to scream like a banshee right in our faces when he happened to walk into the room at the same time we were giving each other a mew year’s kiss. Nothing sloppy or weird, just a simple 2-3 second kiss. It seems the child had no idea we were together, but in his defense we were hanging out in different groups for almost the whole party. He was the only child there and well behaved for the most part.
He scared the shit out of us because of how loud he screamed. He then frantically asked if we were related and other questions to try and rationalize when he just saw lol poor kid.
He finally ran to his parents and frantically tried to explain what he saw lol. His parents were worried at first until it became clear he was talking about the only gay couple at the party sharing a new year’s kiss like all the rest of the couples. They laughed hard at their child (they didnt mean to laugh so hard). The child remained confused for a minute until the parents could regain themselves. They then gave a nut-shell explanation to the child. Then apologized to us because they never taught their child about the existence of gay people. I mean it wasnt their fault. Lol the few times it was honest confusion and ignorance without the blatant homophobia. Kid was smart so he understood it perfectly almost right away.
@mactepok31 okay? Thank you for supporting the channel. 🤷🏽♂️
@mactepok31you could at least spell correctly before you do that....
@@bunningssnags6104 blatant and forced stupidity and an Andrew taint profile pic. Definitely a troll. Mentally stable people dont tend to have fun being a dipshit on purpose.
These kids tend to be very alone and insecure. They have no friends and no real healthy familial relationships. Most likely never takes responsibility for their own f-ups and is below the age of 15.
If your child knows the word girlfriend, clearly you (or others) have discussed relationships with or around them. If they are old enough to understand that concept, they are old enough to know that there are different kinds of relationships. Your failure to be a good parent is not a reason to be pissed at someone else for answering a question honestly.
The key thing that needs addressing here is that the aunt clearly is categorising queer relationships differently to straight relationships, and the fact that she considers discussion of gay relationships to be something her daughter isn't ready for makes it pretty clear that the difference is that she sees gay relationships as somehow more sexual. It's easy to say "I'm ok with gay people" without acknowledging this kind of harmful idea. It's the same reasoning behind the don't say gay bill - a flavour of homophobia that insists that gay relationships are entirely and solely about carnal pleasure while refusing to acknowledge both the romantic aspects of gay relationships or the sexual pleasures of straight relationships.
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
My mother used to tell me that she once experimented with her sexuality and got beat up for it and that's why she doesn't want me to be LGBTQ.. she also said she didn't want me dating black men cuz she was abused by one.
Like all these things are her own experiences, they are really unlikely to happen to me but she pushed me so much that now I live in Spain from Michigan. I'm happily married to my partner, we are both asexual and happy living together I'm feminine nonbinary person and My partner is a cis male. We are still apart of LGBTQ+ no matter what anyone says.
That's beautiful, stories like yours give me hope for my future, knowing that i can be happy too. I hope that your mother is now more kind seeing how happy you are
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle...
I feel very sad for your mother, it sounds like she had some awful life experiences related to sexuality and relationships. But it was unfair of her to push that trauma onto you.
Fellow ace here. So sorry. Ive got a dad that says, “well, I’m not dating so technically , I’m ace.” I relate. Bigoted relatives suck.
Guy who told his gf not to go to pride made it pretty clear that he _does_ understand that she's bi, which suggests he's not _really_ confused, he's just jealous, and doesn't trust her not to hook up with a woman. So he's the asshole, _and_ he's a liar.
Not part of LGBTQ+ community, but autistic with chronic depression, and I saw friends part of the community coming out and facing homophobia, transphobia, etc. I had the occasion to teach my family about the LGBTQ+, what are the terms, the struggles, the ways to show support etc.
And when I had my diagnosis for my mental health, I was met with the same kind of "I don't have a problem with it until it's in my life". Took me 4+ years to make them understand depression and how it's real and serious, now I have to do the same for autism (and in my country we not the best for diagnosis and information etc). For them it's either "you're not autistic, that's for little boys who can't speak" or "who told you that? you're smart so you're just HPI!"....
Whatever the reason, feeling your identity, part of you denied and suppressed, not even seen by your loved ones, is really an upsetting feeling. The only solution my friends and I found was to sever or at least lower contact with those who don't accept us, to protect ourselves.
For the community center one, imagine saying this about healthcare. "You should just go to a normal doctor for your cancer, all Doctors are the same".
I’m surrounded by so many bi people that I can’t understand how people are confused by bisexuality. It just makes sense in my brain, what’s so confusing that you can like both at the same time while still being in a committed relationship?
In my experience it's usually just insecurities on behalf of the confused; as it certainly seems to be in the example in Jamie's video. There's this feeling that "if the woman I'm seeing is attracted to women, then she might cheat on me with one, so let's just pretend she's straight and that's not an issue".
I've (any many other besides and long before me) have frequently used the example that while my wife is straight, I'm not constantly worried that she's going to cheat on me with some man (I mean, she finds men attractive does she not?), so why would I be worried she'd cheat on me with a woman if she was bi?
Yep, like by that logic straight people are still able to be attracted to other people so that's wrong? Like just because your partner can be attracted to a different gender than you are doesn't make it not a committed relationship.
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
That's always so weird. People don't have any problems understanding that someone can like both football and golf, apples and carrots, cats, dogs and rabbits etc. They also understand that all of these preferences remain regardless of what you're actively doing at any given moment. But when it comes to sexuality it's suddenly a whole different thing where you can only like one thing and that's it, and your actions are what defines your preferences rather than what you feel about any of it. Just... why?!
@@WombatMan64I mean, if I tried to justify it I think I would go one level deeper. Because a lot of people feel that they need sex and/or a relationship and that the form that that takes could be different wether you're dating a man or a woman. And so I think the reasoning for these people come from the idea that a bi person would need something that only men can provide and also something that women can provide to feel satisfied. Which would mean that they could never be fully satisfied by dating any one gender.
and obviously, I'm not saying this is my position, I'm bi myself
The boyfriend being against the pride event is probably the reason why she hasn't dated a man before him. Poor girl
“My neighbours Judith and Hilary”
Sounds like a little old lady couple and they’ve been together for an ungodly amount of time and they make cookies together and Hilary is constantly telling Judith to get the hell of the roof and ‘just call the roofer’ while Judith insists she can do it herself despite being 72
14:34 damn, this OP can really rot in a pit. Hope the gf becomes his ex, and doesn’t have to deal with that shitty ass bi-erasure just because her bf is insecure.
My sister is one of those people who claims to be okay with the LGBTQIA community but actually isn't. She hasn't expressed outright homophobia to me or my children but doesn't accept that her son is gay. She also had a negative reaction to finding out our cousin is trans. She didn't say anything bad but the look on her face said it all. It's definitely frustrating to say the least.
Sounds like she's one of those " I'm fine with LGBTQ+ people so long as I don't have to deal with them" people? I think my dad is probably the same...
my grandma on q nutshell when she was alive, ngl lmao
sad af
My mother is part of the community (she's bi) but she is still very much transphobic. My sister (who wants to be called that) is nonbinary and after constantly trying to remind her, it seems like she just insists on using she/her pronouns for them. Once my mom even snapped on me after we had just gotten off the phone with them and I, gently mind you, because I already had a sneaking suspicion she was just being transphobic, reminded her that my sister uses they/them. She immediately angrily said, "well I can't remember that ALL the time 🙄🤬" Like, okay mom let us know how you really feel I guess. I told her that "no one expects [her] to remember their pronouns all the time, but you still need to make an effort". I don't think she realizes she outted herself, tho, because if you're frustrated that you can't remember your child's gender all the time, wouldn't you appreciate a reminder instead of being annoyed?
My mom is pretty similar. She apparently grew up with a gay friend, but now her SON is LGBT😨😨...
@@blueismylove3128 Extremely odd that your sister would want to be called that but wants they/them pronouns. Why are they not asking you to call them your sibling?
on the last story, my mum said she wished I'd been...something more normative...? (might've been straight. might've been neurotypical. I have forgotten which). she gave the same reasoning, but it still felt far more "I wish you were a different person" than "I wish you could have an easier life".
I think the point is that sexuality/gender is really deeply integrated into us as people. first crushes, coming out, childhood memories imbued with the trappings of a gender we no longer claim...any of these things could (and often do) form core memories. the hypothetical "cishet version" of us doesn't have those inherently queer core memories, and so are completely different people.
and by the time OP knows if they have an LGBTQ+ child or not, we know it'll be far too late. not only will they be who they are, but that will have been shaped by that to the point where hearing this will just sound like "I wish you were a different person".
0:01 "are you ready to judge some buttholes" - Jammidodger 2023. Phrasing Jamie, phrasing.
Why do people have this double standard between talking about straight people and gay people. Like people being gay is just as normal as people being straight. It just doesn't make sense.
because it's not "natural" for humans to be homosexual
lmao i remember faking being homophobic to my mom and she was like stop spitting nonsense, kid(I'm 22). I wanted to see her reaction if she hated it or not, bc i am queer 😂😅
that’s what I’m saying. I feel like making a big stink about being gay regardless if it’s in a good way or not it just adds fuel to the fire. Like I don’t want to be treated differently for something like THAT like just act like it’s normal. That’s what I think the first step to acceptance is. Realizing that it’s a harmless thing and slowly accept it to society as a norm. sorry for the tangent 💀
Now I can say she is fr ab her support and me 😭xD
@@kellinquinnfeetpics I agree
As a trans gay aunt, telling my nieces i am gay is 100% my perogative. I have made it abundantly clear that if my brother wants his kids to know their aunt I will anwser their questions honestly when they ask about it.
Also life hack to being the cool aunt/uncle: tell kids the truth unedited in terms they understand.
I can’t wait to get a girlfriend so i can tell my niece that she doesn’t need to follow her mom’s rules.
Kids do not thrive under parents who don’t teach them things. They are going to learn about the world whether you want them to or not, if you don’t help them, all it will do is make them resent you.
14:50 “Straight Pride Events” Like what, football games?
HELP
"Im not homophobic, but
.." is kinda "Im fine with it while its a nebulous 'over there' thing - but as soon as im confronted by it in a way where i actually have to think about it, i get uncomfortable"
Ugh 1st family. I didn't even know that the lgbtq+ community existed or that people could be anything but cishet until I was almost 12. My parents didn't want us thinking about anything sexual, straight or otherwise, and it removed me from a big part of the world. Something was missing my whole life until I learned about being queer and had the a-ha moment. Like, "Oh. That's it. That's what I've been lacking. That's where I belong... I've never belonged before..."
It's just so frustrating!
I have two siblings with kids, and they're both generally loving people, but they don't want others to talk to their kids about LGBT+ topics, saying they'll teach their kids in their own time. Maybe they will, but neither know much about the LGBT community or experience. Having come from a "abstinence until marriage!" upbringing where very little was discussed regarding adult relationships, I feel like they'll either learn from their friends or deny any "alternative lifestyle" altogether.
As a pansexual, I wonder how they'll talk to their kids if I end up with a non-biological male. 🤔
I didn't know about anything other then cishet people until around 10, when my sister told our parents she had a girlfriend(who had been introduced 3 uears before as a friend). After she left my parents then told me how bad it was and raised me to be homophobic. My other siblings, who still lived at home luckily set me straight(more like gay, lol) and I am currently closeted myself. I hope you get acceptance from everyone around you!❤
@@LydiaDeKett I do, and you should too. (Ironically enough, I found out from my first girl crush lol).
Yep, I didn't learn gay people existed till middle school (and it wasn't at all good), trans people till 16, and non-binary and asexual till 18. And yet I routinely referred to puberty as torture, said I wasn't interested in anyone when asked about a boyfriend, refused to wear a bra because I thought it would stop my chest from growing... Oh and my parents joked that I "was the son they never had" all the way up until I came out. All because I'm good at math and don't mind being messy, but they definitely aren't sexist or misogynistic because uh...they said so therefore it must be true. It's really hard to believe that when my father told me when I asked him at 18 why he never taught me how to change car tires "Oh, I figured you'd have a husband to do that". Like I'd graduated high school two weeks prior, when was he expecting me to get married??
Yep, still aroace and non-binary. But instead of having a sense of belonging and community, I felt broken and alone. Being mocked and shamed by the adults in my life didn't help.
@@waffles3629 Sending internet hugs and rolling laughing at the "I thought you'd have a husband to do that [even though you're fresh out of high school]" lmaoooo yes let me just dial an officiant instead of a tow truck while I'm broken down on the side of the road ahahaha
On that last story, maybe it could have been said in a way like "If conditions for LGBT people changed before I had my kid, I'd have no preference, but with the current difficulties, I'd rather not have my child be LGBT and thus have to struggle".
Pretty much nobody wants their kids to suffer, but chances are that they will in some way or another. It's like saying "I'd rather not have a kid with a disability" or "I'd rather not have kids with an autoimmune disorder", etc. On the one hand, yeah, those are perfectly reasonable statements. But also, on the other hand, if you're not prepared to have "difficult" children... then don't fucking have any.
@@Stinkehund indeed thank you for your contribution
@@Stinkehundi always feel very weird about people saying this about other people.
to say you'd rather I not have them is to essentally say you'd rather I not exist and a completely different person exist in my place.. (and honestly I feel the same about saying it about LGBTQ+ people too)
Which is kind of something im very not okay with.. which I think is kind of understandable
honestly children are going to suffer no matter what and if u arent ready for that dont have one
@@LiEnby What are you even talking about?
The weird leaps of justification of bad opinions with the guy who didn’t want his partner going to pride is wild. I’ve had this and it’s all about insecurities. The last one I kind of understand, but it makes me sad that is her conclusion. That one’s really nuanced and I get Jamie saying it’s uncomfortable… society sucks I think is the conclusion 😢
That "your not bi your with me" guy honestly reminds me of a past boyfriend i had who would say occasionally " oh but your not gay cuz your with me so your straight" idk bud last time i checked i do a double take when i see a pretty lady so you tell me
"My wife Shaaba" ~ haven't watched your content in a while, so this still feels kinda new to me. I'm really happy for you, I remember how happy you were when you first called her that in a video ❤
The jamie + shaaba videos are so cute I NEED MOAAAAAR
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
I don’t know why but I (as a closeted trans gay boy) love watching/reading homophobe’s and transphobe’s be absolute dumbasses
Also I love ur videos Jamie your super cool
I think it's just really funny
Same! It gives a good laugh. Have a good day dude :)
I don’t go back I don’t go back Wanta back in LGB child the closet.
When I (a person who still is asking questions) look at that I feel a bit of pain, but I also think to myself “science doesn’t agree with them” and I feel better
It's funny but then I remember these are real people and then it's just sad
The second guy refering to women as females gives me the icks.
"I'm not homophobic or anything, but" *proceeds to say his girlfriend isn't bisexual and then says he supports straight pride*
People really need to learn that people in straight-presenting relationships aren’t always both straight…
So I'm in a poly relationship.
None of us are male. One of us is Cis and I'm NB.
If you saw the three of us walking down the street there are four possible outcomes.
1. Gay couple with small female friend.
2. Straight Couple with male friend.
3. Lesbian Couple with Male friend.
4. Group of girls.
Yup. Try and sort that one out. xD
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
Me who just found out that my brother's girlfriend is actually bi: I agree.
Listening to the first story made me think of when I was younger and asked my parents about sex and relationships etc I would get "I'll tell you when you're older." I'm 38 and they still haven't filled me in on all these things.
When I asked my parents what a condom was, they said "look it up."
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
I think it's telling that people verbalize hoping their child isn't born into a minority before they verbalize wish society was kinder to minorities. It means they've normalized descrimination to an extent that they find it easier to imagine their child not being a minority than society changing for the better.
Not bi, but as an asexual I totally felt the too straight for the community but not straight enough to be straight arguments in the second bisexual post because I’ve been a victim of gate keepers in the community multiple times and seen as weird by straight people who try to “mansplain” or whatever you call it and gaslight me telling me that I just need to get my hormones checked etc. because asexuality doesn’t inherently exist 🙄🤦😩😡. Thank you for making me an outcast simply for not feeling sexual attraction, like that really matters in the long run, ugh.
I remember when I came out to my family and they went straight to "why can't you see how this will reflect on us?" And that made me regret coming out. It was all about how I had embarrassed and shamed them.
People have always been selfish
why can't we have grandkids?? -👴👵
“It’s all about MEEEE” is like the worst response to coming out
now THAT'S embarrassing and shameful. In fact i'm pretty sure that's the type of pride that... Well, they don't call them deadly sins for nothing
I'm sorry that happened to you. That's awful.
I hope you are surrounded by people who love and accept you.
The second one was posted 4 years ago, but I find myself hoping that dude’s girlfriend was able to safely leave him and did do with a quickness. The misogyny was just as strong as the homophobia / biphobia. That whole “she makes me look a fool” thing completely icked me out. I was married to someone like that, and it’s often very much tied into an inability or unwillingness to see others as fully human. To him, I was basically a malfunctioning toaster when I deviated in any way from what he thought I should like, be or do. Not an autonomous human.
Giving my 2 cents here i guess the problem with the last AITA is that the solution for "my current/future child is going to suffer discrimination because society doesnt like lgbtq+ ppl" is NOT "my child shouldn't be lgbtq+", but instead is "we have to work very hard to change the way society is"... So, I think this is where the ick (that you said you couldn't pinpoint what is was) is rooted
The second guy just feels like the type of guy who secretly brags to his friends that he « turned a lesbian straight », and now thinks that his girlfriend might want to go back to being gay
For the last ones, her edits made her NTA imo. The culture she lives in isn’t helping but she is trying to better herself by listening to opinions and I think it’s the most honest and cute edit I’ve seen on Reddit. She is happy to listen and improve. That’s what makes her NTA.
What makes me the most uncomfortable about having preferences for how your child turns out is that they're not a doll. You can't select them from a store shelf, choose what clothes they like, their hobbies, or anything else about them. They are their own person. Also it would really hurt to be trans and have your parents prefer your agab, which may have been bugging Jamie specifically.
Yep. My father frequently complains that he misses his "happy healthy obedient Catholic little girl". Apparently happy is code for faking it so you wouldn't be screamed at that you "had no reason be sad therefore you had no reason to be sad" (nice logic there 🙄). Healthy is code for "ignoring your kids health problems unless they affect you or their ability to go to school*". Obedient is code for "too young to think for yourself". Catholic is brainwashing your kid and treating them like a bad person for being confused about confusing things, like "why doesn't God care about homeless kids?". Little is code for literally being little, as if I could control my growth plates. And girl, well I wouldn't be a girl regardless of gender because I'm an adult, and I'm non-binary so not a woman.
Yeah, I'm happier now than I ever was as a kid and I'm in the pits of depression.
*pain, fever, contagious illnesses and surgeons orders do not apply
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle.....
@stoplgbtb Touch grass in your real life
@@creatvlioness3348
It's a bot. Report it.
Omg that's SO MUCH A PROBLEM for some people, that their child is not a mute doll. Being raised by one I can say for certain that they should not be allowed near children, let alone have any.
For the last story, I think the ick about it is how it's putting more of the focus on the child being gay rather than society being awful. "I don't want my child to be gay because life would be harder for them" puts focus and (unintentionally) blame on the child for something they ultimately cannot control. Whereas the statement "I don't want my child to face discrimination" puts focus and blame on the issues with society, where it belongs.
I think honestly, the discomfort at someone saying "I don't want an lgbt+ child because they may not be accepted by society/friends/family and may have a more difficult life" for me at least is that it almost feels like it's placing the problem on the unborn child and stating ahead of time that instead of embracing the idea that you may have to help your child through these struggles, you're just passively hoping they'll be "normal" enough to not have those struggles. Like, it's just saying- "yeah i'd rather they just fit into my culture's arbitrary and oppressive societal standards, because it will just make life easier for both of us"
And yes, objectively that will make life easier, but it's not your child's job to be born on the proper accepted default settings. They're a human being, who will be their own person, and if you're already thinking of who you want or need them to be for life to be easier, you've already lost sight of that fact.
@@leunamreyo3663because I guess having friends as a kid = indoctrination now? brother, she’s a child. let her figure this shit out. YOU’RE the one trying to control what she is and how she presents herself. If anything, she’s just fucking with you because she knows that this pisses you off. little girls are monsters like that
The idea of Shaaba trying to tell you that you couldn't go to pride is just hilarious to me. I'm imagining it and I don't think she could even say it with a straight face 😂
For the third story, it’s like how I needed speech therapy as a kid. Every kid mispronounces things and every kid needs to learn phonics and articulation to be understood while talking but I needed a lot more help and correction because I’m hearing impaired and I had a bad speech impediment. All kids need love and a safe space but the lgbt kids need an extra safe space because there’s a lot of hate in the world pointed at them. Maybe he would get it if phrased that way?
my main thing with the first one too is that gay people exist in public spaces. parents can wait to tell their kids all they want, but they cant expect to control when/how their child gets introduced to the idea. imo him telling his neice in a family setting is probably the best way for her to be introduced
That guy with the bi gf kinda hit my heart, cause as I bi person, Ive always felt I don't fit in in any box
I think parents especially often forget that children are just people. Maybe smaller, with different experiences, but still human individuals.
It will always frustrate me when they think that they have the right to control their children so much
Yes I feel the same. And 7 year olds are very intelligent and can understand a lot more than people give them credit for.
It's because these are the kinds of people that see children as property to possess and control.
Yeah, a lot of people see children as property. Or even servants.
I have an elementary-aged child. My father has told me she'll end up in prison because I don't spank her, instead choosing to talk to her and help her learn about her feelings and how to calm down when she's upset over something. I know hitting kids shuts them up pretty fast, because they become scared, from having been spanked myself. It also taught me I cannot trust my dad with anything important ever, and I avoid him as much as I can in my 20-odd adult years so far. I will ALWAYS be thrilled that my child knows it's safe to show me all her emotions and that she knows I will never ever hurt her to get her to shut up. When she comes to me and cries, when she tells me how something has frustrated her or made her so angry she wants to scream, when she's so happy she's bouncing off the walls, all of it. She's a person. Could you imagine going to work and your coworker having a hard day and perhaps whining or even crying and you HIT THEM to shut them up?! HOW is spanking still not classified as child abuse? It boggles my mind. Having experienced it I can tell you NO, I don't "respect" my parents, NO I don't trust them, NO it never stopped me from doing what I wanted, just made me be more careful to do it in secret.
If your love for your child is conditional don't have a child!
What if your child commits murder over and over again?
@@ShinyTillDawnthen they are probably old enough to not really be a child anymore
@@ShinyTillDawnthen you should probably help the police find them?
@ShinyTillDawn do you think being gay is like committing murder?! What a strange comparison to make.
@@twistedmind3323 Who said I was making a comparison? I was providing a counter argument to OP's post.
They don't want an LGBT child?
Don't have kids then.
Dear Lord, it's not even like he told the 7 year old anything they shouldn't know. He didn't mention sex or anything, just said he likes other men as potential partners. The aunt is just working this all up in her head somehow. Kids will ask a question, get an answer, accept it, and move on, and that's so likely what has happened, outside of the mother being bigoted about it. That's so wild to literally keep involving other family members, especially when it would be so much less noticeable to the child to just...let it be. Damn.
The biphobic story is so frustrating. I'm a bi woman that has only been with guys thus far. But I am still very much attracted to women. I'd say my level of attraction to men and women is more or less even, but I have definitely dealt with people that tried to invalidate my sexuality because I've never had the pleasure of being with anothef lady. They CANNOT speak on what I am, what I identify as, my feelings, etc. That's for me to decide. Like that poor lady, I've even had a romantic partner say I'm not really bi or I was doing it for him. FUCK YOU. And fuck anyone that thinks like that!
Sorry, that just got me heated. I hope that gal left him. ...Or that he wised up that bi women can be with men and still be bi and proud. But that post gave me no hope of that, tbh.
Hello from a fellow bi Shadow fan! 👋🌈
Yep, the same thing happens to ace people too. I've been told I can't be ace because I've never had sex because "but how would you know?". Like uhhhh, how can I know I don't experience sexual attraction without having sex? It's pretty easy since sexual attraction and sexual activity are separate things? But if you do have sex you also can't be ace because ace people don't have sex. It's literally lose lose.
Don't apologize for getting heated, it's like that post was scientifically made to piss off every fiber of being on any bisexual person. I swear to god I want to strangle this man- It's almost impressive how many stereotypes, insecurities and stinging phrases and wordings he got on a wall or text. It's insane.
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
Yea, your partner is not your sexuality, gay people can enter straight relationship because society, and bi people can be in straight relationship and stay bi, i really can't understand the logic in his story, really hope that peoples would understand that being bi isn't being a cheater, its liking 2 or more genders.
-a very bored omnisexual
The one with the BF who won't let his apparently sweet and kind bi GF go to pride is just nasty... like you don't deserve her buddy. Such a narc
In my honest opinion parents who wants a specific gender shouldn’t be one
I want to be sympathetic towards the person who doesn't want their hypothetical child to be lgbt+ (at least assuming they're being honest about their reasons) but reading their clarification about their reasoning just makes my dad's words echo through my head. He also claimed that he didn't want me to be queer for my own sake and that I was 'choosing a difficult path' when I came out as trans. Seemingly, though, he had no qualms about contributing to making that path difficult, judging by the fact that it's now four years later and he still refuses to call me by my name or use my correct pronouns. I think he just used the difficulties I would face in society at large as an excuse to hide his own distaste and disappointment.
Jamie, thank you for your words on behalf of us "straight privileged" queers! As a very stereotypical bi in my long-ago youth, who's now been in a straight-passing relationship for the past two decades, it's only pretty recently I realized that, while I conquered my internalized homophobia 20+ years ago, I was still carrying around so much internalized biphobia and bi-erasure--this feeling that I didn't have a "right" to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Because we never quite fit with either gay or straight folks, and sometimes they let us know it and sometimes we can just feel it. Thankfully my straight partner has always been super supportive, and I feel like the queer community has become a lot more welcoming too in the intervening decades, but so many people still think we're all just defined by whomever we happen to be involved with at the time. But being LGBTQIA+ is a whole culture, a whole life experience. Honestly I feel more queer now as a suburban mom married to a straight dude, than I ever did as a pixie-haired 20-something living a much more "alternative lifestyle." And we all deserve significant others who can appreciate and celebrate every part of who we are.
As a stereotypical bi 20-something, this was something I really needed to hear. Thank YOU.
@@AW-xc1xc aw, that made my day, thanks to YOU! Gotta love the intergenerational stereotypical bi support 💗💜💙
I'm FtM, but apparently have "straight-passing privilege" because I look female and my partner looks male. Despite the fact that both of us, individually, do not look straight. And that we're both on HRT. And Bi-aces. And that my supposed "straight passing privilege" is directly tied to my dysphoria because it's based on gender. Lmao.
Look, anyone that cares about that kinda shit outside of the purely theoretical is just a gatekeeper trying to become the boot.
Tbh i, at times feel disgusted when think of having sex with a guy. So in these fantasies i think of myself as a girl.
I'm bi btw
I knew two of my uncles were bi and gay respectively by like age 4, even the few relatives that were 'that's nice" about it were always just like "yeah everyone knows why wouldn't the kids also be aware." mentality.
I think it’s because they think that they want to keep it from kids for as long as possible thinking their kids might start thinking they might be gay. I reckon some parents would never want their kids knowing about anything LGBTQ+ 🙄
I have a similar experience. My mum's cousin was with his now husband for as long as I can remember and I never saw their relationship as any different than my parent's relationship or my aunts and uncles.
Similarly, the only issue that I had with p!nk's "I kissed a girl" was the cheating on the boyfriend.
I'm burnjng the Igbt fIag jn my profjle....
@@lisahenry20 that song is by Katy Perry (but I agree about the cheating issue)
@@taiyouscandalous1175 ... What? It's been over 10 years and I've never realised? I guess I was so sure about it that I never thought to check 😂
But I literally remember the first time I actually focused on the lyrics and I'm sure there was something about it being sung by p!nk. And I used to listen to a fair amount of Katy Perry (admittedly it was the same few songs that I had downloaded, so it's not like I was constantly searching through her songs), I can't believe I never noticed.
That's a very embarrassing mistake I made, I'm still in shock. I've gotta check to see if p!nk ever did a cover of it and that's what I've been thinking of all these years.
I believe the guy who wrote the second story, he's not homophobic. He's biphobic. He thinks her going to a pride event will cause her to "stray from him". I hope for her sake that she does, because he's not a good boyfriend. DUMP HIM AND FIND SOMEONE WHO DESERVES YOU BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU FOR YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.
Edit: I commented this before I saw 9:16. I now feel even more justified in what I said. Insecurity is never an excuse to be a bad significant other.
Edit 2: "She had a breakdown" MOTHERFUCKER, WHO WOULDN'T?! "which was out of character" OF COURSE IT'S OUT OF CHARACTER. I'd hope that your behavior is out of character, which would be why hers is!
Edit 3: "at present, she is not part of the community." Okay, clearly your behavior ISN'T out of character. I truly hope she dumps him.
Edit 4: "I told her you can't expect the privileges of a straight relationship but also the LGBT community as well. She did not take this well." The only appropriate response to something that vile is being upset. Putting aside the fact that her being a cis girl dating a cis guy does not make it a straight relationship, nobody should tolerate that type of emotional manipulation and abuse. It sounds like he considers having people who can empathize with her experiences a "privilege". That's alarming. I'm genuinely concerned.
Edit 5: "She told me that she couldn't see a future with me if I'm forever going to "erase her sexuality" and make her "be straight" to protect my insecurities." GOOD. I'm not even gonna acknowledge the heteronormative bullshit that follows that last sentence because it's disgusting.
I appreciate you saying pride and LGBTQ+ includes asexual identities is... really nice to hear. It was a super offhand comment and not dwelt upon, but like... it really means a lot. Thanks