I embraced my asexuality at age 53. Coming up on 63, I'm bracing for the enby outing, since I've definitely never embraced any kind of binary gender identity or presentation.
Hi! 👋🏽 I’m 63 too, and came out as nonbinary and transmasculine a bit before I was 60! I’ve been out as queer since my 20s, and have been referring to myself as “graysexual” for some years now ☺️ as well. I’ve changed my name, pronouns and begun testosterone hrt… it’s all been pretty revelatory and marvelous. Luckily, my family and friends are all really supportive (and several of them are queer, nonconforming, and nb or trans themselves, so yay!). Love to see other older folks on this journey out there! Congratulations on yours!
I'd say being nonbinary means first you have to look inside who you are, what makes you happy while thinking "that's me"! And then you make your custom way of being nonbinary. That being said, it sucks my father is super bigoted so I can't get it for myself.
@@treely6647I’m trying to figure out the pink purple and yellow one and it looks like some sort of variation of the aporagender flag? Aporagender meaning according to Google: Aporagender. Another nonbinary gender identity is aporagender. Aporagender is distinct from male, female, or any gender along the binary spectrum, but still involves experiencing a strong gender identity. Like xenogender identities, aporagender identities are connected to an identity beyond a binary. The other one looks like aromantic? Idk-? Aromantic meaning according to Google: little or no romantic attraction to others Aromantic people have little or no romantic attraction to others. They may or may not feel sexual attraction. An aromantic person can fall into one of two groups: aromantic sexual people or aromantic asexual people.
I'm quite confident that I'm just a cis male, but I made sure to save this in case anyone I meet in the future might need it. I guess I also just want to boost this video in the algorithm for people that need it.
@@FzeroVaporeon Well, I've been much more exposed to the LGBTQIA+ community recently and I've never felt that sense of people saying my name or pronouns and had it feel unnatural. I also don't have any issues with my body (I think I would hate being in a woman's body), so that's why I consider myself cis male. Also, I know this isn't what the original comment is about, but I did recently find that I think I'm on the asexual spectrum since I sometimes think people are cute, but it never came to wanting to have s*x with them. Granted, I am young and haven't been in a real relationship ever, but since high schoolers are obsessed and I'm not obsessed, that's why I currently identify as Ace. Sorry for the rambling but hopefully that explains my gender/sexuality choices
@@paulhudalla9527 fellow ace here, that's valid. fyi, it's ok to identify as something other than straight even if you've never been in a queer relationship or any long-term relationship before, and/or haven't had sex. sometimes, you just know. you don't have to try it if you don't feel comfortable with doing so.
that’s very funny that I looked much much more androgynous when I wasn’t aware of being enby. and there were people who thought I was a boy when my figure was hidden. and now, being aware and out, I’m wearing skirts more, makeup everyday (but the clown colourful one, different everyday) and my hair is the longest it’s been for last 10 years. :D
Whoa, this struck a chord in me. Back when I was down bad with the Big Sad, I wore plain, concealing clothes, gestured little, and spoke less. My style and mannerisms matched the masculinity of my peers and made it easy for strangers to read me as male. Now that I have a renewed energy for life and confidence to express, I am exclusively referred to by feminine pronouns. I don't love that our culture has made sex the defining trait of a person, but have grown comfortable with my feelings towards it. I don't know who I am, but I know where I stand. Thank you for sharing your experience, as it has helped me understand mine
I recently found out that I'm demi. A very nice trans person pointed that out after talking and chatting with me for some time. It just felt so normal to not have sexual interest or feelings towards most people (almost everybody) that it never felt strange. So I still really feel the impact of the "cultural" shock that hit me. In addition, it seems that a possible attraction (when it happens) also is not restricted to a certain gender. Cultural shock number two. I wish everybody from the rainbow family good luck and support on their way to find out who you are and how you show it to the world. My personal starter kit is just a small pride pin, I wear on my collar every day.
I really appreciate you posting this! ^_^ I forgot how little non-binary posters of things are out there, and I forgot how meaningful it is to me because it doesn't happen very often
After many expensive too-feminine pixie cuts I gave up on hairstylists and bought hair clippers. Best decision ever! I can do my own hair whenever I feel like it, since I'm genderfluid that really helps me present how I feel in the moment, without having to wait for appointments etc. I find when I clip it ultra short (1-2mm) people mostly read me as female. When it grows to about 1cm (which only takes a week or two) most people start to read me as male. Which did surprise me in the beginning, I would have expected it to be the other way round! It's funny how such a tiny difference in hair length can make a big difference in how people read you. Also I like to wear different styles of hats, much cheaper and easier to find here than wigs 😊
Oh my gosh, me too! I buzzed off my hip-length hair about 15 years ago (I’m in my 60s!) and never looked back. Now I keep it super short most of the year, just letting it grow willy-nilly during the coldest part of winter, and I wear hats all the time! So easy to care for, and so much more gender indifferent.
I'm cisM but I'm so interested in enby fashion. I've literally just been living in jeans/shorts and tees so experimenting is something completely new is pretty cool.
Yes! I've only come to terms with my enby identity in the last year or so, but I've always gravitated towards bright coloured (usually plaid) button ups... it makes a lot of sense now lol
Didn't know this was a common thing, lol. I'm also an enby who loves those button up shirts with patterns. They're some of the only tops in my area that aren't super clingy. Also, they're just cute :D
My cis/het hairstylist probably asked me 6 times if I “really wanted my hair THAT short.” She’s great, but it took me 20 minutes to explain to her that I was okay with people thinking I was a man and that was kind of the entire point of the haircut.
Amazing video! Sometimes I get depressed over the fact that I’m nonbinary and it seems that half the world is against me being me but this vid felt like a hug from a friend and made me remember there are others like me out there 💜
Damn this vid came out at the perfect time for me. My egg cracked about 10 months ago and I have been really enjoying the process of exploring - though I've been doing so quite slowly. Of course it's still been peppered with moments of "Nah I'm probably still cis, right?" until yesterday I thought "Okay I've been exploring and enjoying this AND I still remember how good it felt when someone referred to me as 'them'" so it's really nice to watch this video and get some ideas about how I might look into this further! Thank you!
@@momsspaghetti-sd9sn Cool, guess I'll pay attention to this random stranger on the internet to tell me how I should identify. Thanks, internet stranger. Your contribution was highly appreciated.
I’m enby and there is an option if you want breasts but are on the fence about HRT: breast forms. I used the individual ones that you need to put in a bra rather than the “breastplate” style and I picked up mine for ~$50 on Amazon. They look good enough, I like their weight, and they helped me decide whether or not I want to be on HRT. Also, in terms of makeup, I think eye makeup is most important. I think most people look at your eyes when looking at you. I occasionally struggle when I look at my beard shadow and want to cover it up, but the eye makeup has helped me immensely!
I love how you really emphasized the choice in everything and how it's all about feeling comfortable with yourself, not adhering to some strict set of rules or stereotypes or whatnot.
The rules are there are no rules. Nonbinary is a massively diverse spectrum that can range all the way from bordering one of the binary genders, to nowhere in between. Since there are no preexisting third genders to model in modern western society, you pretty much have to discover and invent it for yourself. I know of some who transition all the way, as a binary trans person would, but still are nonbinary. I know some who only socially transition, or who go about their business as their AGAB because it's nobody else's business. I'm personally leaving every option on the table, with the goal of reaching the point where I can switch up my presentation day by day, since I'm genderfluid.
My genderfluidity is mostly private atm... my son and niece are supportive, but my mother and sister can't come to terms with anything outside the gender binary, so I don't bring it up around them. I'm also in an area where there isn't really a queer community, and anyone over the age of 25 is quite closed-minded. So I just keep to myself, do what I want, and to most of the town I'm just the "weird, witchy, lesbian looking, identity crisis having, crazy cat lady" (all stuff I've heard or been told lol) and honestly, I quite enjoy being an enigma lol
Thanks! Great video. Haven’t come out yet. I am nonbinary, but I am experimenting with exactly what that means to me. Oh, top surgery would be amazing. At 56, there’s a whole new world now beyond just male or female. Who knew!
I’ve known I was nonbinary for almost 3 years now and am still closeted, though potentially want to come out soon maybe and this was helpful. Also over the time, and especially more recently I’ve been thinking I may be more and more fem maybe transfem or something, and have been looking into taking estrogen, though it’s been so hard to find any resources available on what using low dose e could do for me rather than the full dose.
I’ve been out as an enby for I think 11 ish years, but yeah there really wasn’t any content that wasn’t essentially people saying it wasn’t real. I found your channel just last night and I’m so happy that I found you.
I did the thrift store thing! It was especially useful for getting cheap button up shirts for when I had top surgery. It also helps that I get an employee discount at the thrift store attached to my workplace. I do prefer shorter hair, though, especially as I get older. I work 57 hours a week in two different jobs. Short hair makes it SO much easier to get ready in the mornings! For me, it is honestly all about comfort and ease and practicality. At the same time, I use makeup regularly. And I take low dose T. If your insurance requires HRT to qualify for coverage of surgeries, like mine does, microdosing helps to be able to qualify by technically meeting the requirements of your insurance policy. And I'm on finasteride as well. Insurance companies often lag behind medical standards, so make sure you know what your insurance policy requires for any medical treatments that apply to your own personal transition goals.
Thank you so much for this video! There are a lot of great tips (especially for the hair, it really has been liberating letting my hair grow and getting a side cut !) Your happiness and joy shines trough the video and it's very refreshing!
I have such horrible dysphoria and dysmorphia. I dont look at mirrors, try not to be in photos, and have end up spiraling if i catch my reflection somewhere.
To anyone who wants to cut their hair: please consider donating it! If you intend to cut more than 25cm/9 inches you can donate it to organisations that make wigs for people that are experiencing hair loss. I just donated my hair and it was a pretty cool experience. I love my short hair now! I realised that (also for me as a cis person) experimenting with my style is so fun! And I used reference pics of some non-binary people's haircuts :)
Thank you so much for the help, you seem to be an amazing person! I don't talk english but I could understand every word you said and I was soo happy! Thanks, really!!!
@@lynnsaga1397 I think I've watched the videos at the end, I think I might have watched them but I think I may be found the style of talking a bit a bit too intense. Maybe it's an autism thing with like different voices, or it's just me getting a bit overwhelmed with someone who shares so much of my experience talking about it. To be honest I kind of feel like I'm never really going to be as good as those two in my transition.
@@PlurCo Your transition is unique, just like it is for everyone. I know it's hard, but try not to compare your transition to that of others, or at least try not to evaluate or judge it. As long as you feel comfortable with your transistion, everything is great. I think that if you transition with the mindset of "I want my transition to be like [whoever]" you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Your transition is about YOU. And you are a wonderful unique person, so your transition cannot be like somebody elses.
I feel like there are both universal aspects to enby transitions regardless of sex assigned at birth, and other aspects that vary between individuals. Other than some gender presentation differences, from what I’ve seen, AMAB, AFAB and AIAB enby people all seem to have very parallel experiences, if not exactly the same.
*As someone who was alive in the 80s, you definitely have 80s rocker hair! (It's awesome!) *My firstborn is (26) is also afab enby! They've been on T for... maybe 6 years now, and have had top surgery. And I believe they sometimes putter with makeup. Do whatever works for you!
I'm very gender fluid and switch up my look between masculine and slightly feminine frequently. My question is about placement of my bun. Where should my bun go and how do I style it when I want it to be a "man bun" ? Seriously, for some reason this is something I need to know.
Same, I really struggle to present masculinely, but the thought of cutting my long hair that I just spent the last 3 years growing out to my natural salt and pepper colour is sacrilege to me...
@FzeroVaporeon honestly, I don't really get it either, I'm just using the language of the society I'm stuck with. In an ideal situation, I'd just give up on the whole concept, but a lot of people have their identity tied up in it, and I know what it's like to have my identity disregarded... it sucks. Clothes are a way to express identity, and although I agree it's arbitrary in itself, it's more about how we're using them to portray who we are to others. for someone like me who fluctuates, it's useful in a descriptive way even though it's pretty dumb when you actually think about it.
@@TheCagedCorvid let's say the concepts of masculinity and femininity are phased out. Assigned sex becomes nothing but a arbitrary thing that really only matters in a medical setting. You could use any pronouns in a post sexist world. You could still have hormones to shape the way your body grows. No one would judge you as unnatural for wearing any type of clothes or any activity. You know you can use other words that don't reinforce the gender construct that oppresses us. I don't know what you're really talking about with some people have their identity tied up with it. You could still do all of the same things.
10:31 Transfemme here, finasteride is an awesome choice for limiting male pattern baldness at low doses and as a general anti androgen at higher doses! I started it before my egg cracked, and while it's a bit pricy over the counter, it was an accessible option of lowering my dysphoria and trying things out.
I recently came out as non-binary and demisexual at the age of 22. The most annoying thing is being biologically a curvy girl. Since I began questioning myself some months ago, I still have some identity and gender crisis. What's more, my parents mostly accepted, but they think I'm just etiquetting myself. I know I need time, but sometimes the struggle in my head it's a lot.
As someone who just found out I’m non binary like two days ago this is really exciting!!! I’m only out to a few of my friends and I’m really scared on what to do with my parents. I want to see how long I can pull off being gender neutral without my parents knowing. Both my parents know I’m lesbian she/they but they never call me “they” and it’s kinda annoying. My dad said he won’t so yaaaay. I have non binary stickers/a hidden flag in my room but they haven’t said anything yet. I’m going to go on Pinterest and go find non binary outfits/hair and show them to my mom as what I want. And I did get a binder when I was a she/they and my mom was chill about it. I do have plans to get top surgery when I’m old enough.
Interestingly even when I came out, I never felt like “I have to discover enby fashion” cuz I felt like … I have always been nonbinary. Everything I wear is nonbinary. I’m just finding the right word to describe it
this is gonna be just like... awkward yelling about my own trans clothing struggle right now but i use he/him pronouns and i'm generally just out as A Trans Guy which is true in a way but i'm also nonbinary, and i miss some aspects of "fem" clothes so bad it's killing me. watching stuff like this feels like maybe it's giving me ever so slightly more confidence to try incorporating that stuff into my wardrobe again someday but it's so hard because i just want to avoid getting misgendered 24/7 y'know? there's also just the whole additional aspect of fatphobia that makes people waaaay less accepting of ~experimental gender expression~ which should not be the case but it is and it's shitty. anyhow i like this video a lot, and i love your hair btw, definitely getting the 80s rocker vibes and the strawberry blond is such a nice colour. i think to any fellow enbies who don't have access to a queer hairdresser, at least consider doing it yourself! i know it's not gonna be comfortable for everyone but i had a miserable experience every time i tried to get my hair done professionally because i don't live anywhere near a queer hairdresser, then a few years back i just started doing it myself and i'm still having a great time just doing whatever the hell i want to my hair.
IDK if this helps but I'm also nonbinary, been out for a decade. Shortly after I realised I wasn't cis I found I just... couldn't wear some stuff that I'd been happy in before. It was definitely a mix of dysphoria I hadn't realised was there, and that being made worse by misgendering from the general public. Now I've been on hormones a few years and had top surgery in 2020, I'm very much assumed to be a cishet man unless/until I say otherwise. (This occasionally leads to hilarious misunderstandings.) In the last ~6 months I've started playing around with adding things-read-as-femme back into my wardrobe, and it's not been a dysphoria problem at all. Not saying this will be the case for everyone, of course, but just wanted to share in case it helps.
@@GaraksApprentice this is reassuring to hear, thank you. testosterone dose is due to go up and i should hopefully have a top surgery date by the end of the year so fingers crossed a more ~traditionally masculine~ physical appearance will give me some confidence to start getting back into some of those sorts of clothes in future. always happy to hear stories of fellow gnc trans people living their lives well!
Aegosexual Demiro here, and plushgender genderfluid, don't consider myself nonbinary except for when my pronouns shift to they/them, even still this video is really nice and think this might benefit me as well, keep up the good, and thank you 💜💜💜
Thank you so much for making this video, I have known that I am NB for about 2 years now and am sort of out but not fully, there is some fluidity to it but mostly I am in a state of “eh” but lately I’ve been considering T and top surgery more seriously, I still have to look into it more though before I even begin taking steps towards that, it was a good tip that there are ways to lessen the effects of T since I definitely want to avoid certain things
Full length hooded coat, big scarf, then whatever is underneath doesn't really matter until you get inside. I love winter, I actually find clothes much easier than in warmer weather.
Tbh long hair is so good. Ive had short hair for 17 years (almost all of my life) but Ive grown it out and I love having long hair. I like to call myself non binary because I dont really fit a binary gender. I just see my gender as I am not a binary gender I am just me as weird as it sounds. I dont really understand gender tbh. There is definitely things I have some discomfort with but tbh its ok I can live with it. I tend to like wearing the same clothes over and over so once I find an outfit I like ill probably just stick to it for simplicity. I dont know what it is about it but i hate the idea of makeup I could never use it. I am just me ig :3
Btw, as for the hair bit, If anyone wants a really cute haircut idea, I once searched up "enby hair" (or something like that), the ref pic I found is someone with a pink/purple haircut. The haircut in question is basically a chin length cut with lots of layers and (kinda) curtain bangs :3 I'm planning on getting a haircut like it but just show the ref (im not out yet BUT I showed it to my mom and she thought it would look good on me >:DD)
I'm a super baby enby and that's mostly been a mental transition for me. I have a mostly-black wardrobe but I do want to start experimenting with more color and the thrift store suggestion is amazing! It'd be nice to stop cycling between the same ~20 plain black tees with this or that band tee (seriously, I have about 20 black undershirts). I've also been growing my hair out for about 4 years (AMAB) and it's at a length I'm pretty happy with. Still unsure what I want to do about the facial hair...might just keep it short for now. I don't know that I'll dive into makeup or medical transition, but keeping them in the back pocket in case I ever want to go down either road is something I wanna do. Thank you for this vid, btw!!!!
Thank you so much, i have been out for a year, after thinking about it for such a long long time, and its been kinda hard to know where to start, y'know?
I have to admit, I'm currently identifying as enby because I do feel very femme for many, many years, but I'm still not certain and anxious to be part of a binary...
I think I would suggest to anybody if this helps because I have ADHD and I overthink things maybe just calling your style your signature For example, Chance Harris style because Chance Harris is my name
I see Overwatch on your desktop. What are your thoughts on Venture? Lack of skins has been disappointing to me and everyone says them being enby restricts the devs too much to be scared to show any gender presentation. I think it opens up so many options! The fact that there wasn't a punk skin on launch was kind of shocking to me. Overwatch has so many punk skins and the punk scene has historically experimented with gender so much!
As someone with like 70 hours on Ow2 and been taking a year's break, it's nice to see an enby rep for that game too. and as for people saying too scared to show any gender presentation? that's in a way great. like some nonbinaries feel both genders to some extent while others just don't or refuse to identify with either binaries. it'll be interesting to see where they go with them skin-wise. like as long as its not hyper into one direction, then it'll be an alright presentation and not really limiting.
It's been really nice lately to give myself permission to just like the things I like. Thank you for this video! I loved reading all the comments! I feel much better and much less alone! I hope ya'll have a beautiful day!! ❤😊❤
7:10 I'm sorely related here. I'm duosex, my entire Nonbinary identity is about my medical transition. Whenever I talk about medical transition as a nonbinary person there's always a silence. No one discusses hormones or salmacian surgery for nonbinary people.
I have all ways dress up like a girl in home. Now wear makeup 💄 out not much scared to do more..,,,my mom Gave me female hormones by taking morning sickness pills back then ..long ago...so I feel like a woman ..❤
Ahhhh as a genderfluid Trans Woman who is sometimes trans masc seeing another genderfluid person got me so hype. Also you can go full estrogen and blockers and then get off of blockers to have double hormones if that makes you comfortable like it does for me
Relatable. I’m amab but with an intersex condition, and though I present as male for the most part, I have genital dysphoria and prefer to dress androgynously, but I don’t really have social dysphoria when people refer to me as male, so I’m not sure if I qualify as enby
Sounds about right... my son is actually trans masc, but still wears some very fem stuff some days, and I spent most of my life trying to be female, but it never worked for me, until I came across the term non binary, and subsequently genderfluid. I spent so long not knowing what I was, it's a process, and it changes, and ultimately, you just have to be what you feel at any given time ❤
@FzeroVaporeon hey, I'm not gender labeling. It's a way to describe the kinds of clothes. I know it's confusing. Feminine and masuline are words that describe the clothes as traditionally from them. If it fits me and I look good, I'll wear it
@@earacloud1878 you are gender labeling. Using the words masculine and feminine, that's gender labeling. It describes the clothes solely by relying on the reader's understanding of sexist stereotypes. Thus it reinforces sexism.
There was a period of time earlier this year where I was told almost every day that I looked like an underage boy lol (part of it is because of hormones I think)
I am still a smol baby enby and the struggle for clothing and hair styles is real o.O Currently growing my hair so I have more options on what to do with it, but so far no clue 😅
Not sure if you meant this in a bad way, but you said your grandchild’s pronouns are they/them in the same sentence you referred to them as “she”. I know it can be a hard adjustment, and the mistake is understandable, but for your grandchild sake please try.
Phytoestrogens don't work the same way as animal estrogens. If you do want boobs, you should consider going on actual estrogen. More doctors are open to nonbinary people medically transitioning now.
@@PRINCESS-zz3wq no, definitely not. some nonbinary people literally dont want to call themselves trans because of the backlash. a strange amount of people, even in the trans community dont see nonbinary ppl as trans, but a “secret third thing”. i am nonbinary and i think of myself as trans. some people dont. its that easy
Because people use the terms they feel fit them best. Not all non-binary people are trans, and not all trans people are non-binary. There's overlap, for sure, but they aren’t interchangeable adjectives.
it's reclaimed since people got tired of saying the entire "LGBTQ+ person" phrase, so its easier to say that. i get that its been more of a slur in the past though.
Queer is not a slur anymore. It has long been reclaimed. Generally people who consider queer a slur are anti-LGBTQ (and especially anti-trans) ideologues who _want_ being queer to be something shameful
In the USA especially, queer is not a slur. We took it back and reclaimed it decades ago. It is often used as an umbrella term for the whole LGBT+ community, as well as a term for those that don't fit as neatly into certain boxes within that community. Do some homophobes and bigots still try to use it as a slur? Sure. But they're idiots and they've come to realize it doesn't have the punch it used to because we were like "yeah, and?" There was that famous slogan of "We're here, we're queer, get used to it." Many Pride parades in the USA now use the phrase "Queer All Year" to denote that we still exist and matter outside of Pride month.
I assume you're coming at this from something like a "gender abolitionist" terf angle that just replaces "gender" with "(assigned) sex". The issue is that you're confusing gender expression with gender identity. Nonbinary is not the same as gender non-conforming or androgynous. Some nonbinary people do dress more androgynously to avoid looking and being perceived too much as either binary gender. Others dress more flamboyantly to show a clash against social norms of having a beard and wearing a dress, for example. Other nonbinary people do not dress androgynously. They may dress and be okay being perceived in public as their assigned gender or they may dress and be okay being perceived in public as the "opposite" gender. Their nonbinary identity may be something that is mostly important between them and their friends. Their friends know what pronouns to use for them, strangers may just assume they're binary. Other nonbinary people, such as bi/pan/poly/gender or genderfluid people may dress more masculine some days and more feminine other days, depending on their mood. They may be dysphoric about masculine traits one day and feminine traits another day. Being nonbinary means not identifying exclusively as either a man or a woman. That's it. There's no particular "look" someone has. Gender non-conforming people identify as only a man or a woman but choose to present in a way that is not the norm for their gender. This is not only true of cis people. I personally know butch trans women and fem trans men. Their gender identity and their gender expression are not the same. I dress more feminine than the average woman. I took my conservative upbringing and that style of femininity and made it my own, picking and choosing what I liked. I am not really gender non-conforming if you perceive me as a woman. And yet I am not a woman. That's what makes me nonbinary, not the way I choose to dress. Being nonbinary doesn't imply androgyny. Being androgynous doesn't imply being nonbinary. You want to present in a gender non-conforming androgynous way but don't identify as nonbinary? Sure. There's a *ton* of people who do that. That doesn't mean nonbinary people are just like you. You're just highlighting the distinction.
@@asongfromunderthefloorboards I don't think there is really such a thing as dressing androgynous, masculine, or feminine. It sounds really old fashioned and sexist.
Those are also both labels, and valid ones. They are different than being non-binary though. Like they said, gender identity is different than gender expression. It's awesome that you have come to understand the terms that best describe yourself. Allow others to do the same.
Non binary is about gender only. It's in the spectrum with binary woman and man gender. It is not trans or trans only. Cis and trans are identities based on sex + gender not on gender alone unlike non binary. We can be cis non binary because we don't want to medically transition our sex. It has always existed and is normal. Everyone of every sex can be of any gender
While I agree, I feel like it would be very uncommon to find cis non-binary people, as up until fairly recently it was standard medical practice to assign intersex infants as a binary gender rather than as X. I have seen some debate as to whether intersex people assigned a binary gender after birth but who identify as non-binary as adults would qualify as cis, since they were technically reassigned as a binary sex rather than strictly assigned, as medically they are intersex and therefore not strictly a binary sex.
I recognize that some people do identify as nonbinary but not trans. I have never really understood why. For me, being nonbinary is very solidly under the trans umbrella. Whenever I have talked to nonbinary people who do not identify as trans, they usually associate being trans with binary gender, medical transition, and/or dysphoria. But this is not the case. This is also what you seem to be implying -- that being trans is about modifying you body through hormones and/or surgeries. But it's not. Some trans people do choose to modify their bodies if it's right for them and they have access to it. Other trans people do not choose to modify their bodies either because it's not right for them or they don't have access. They're still exactly as trans as people who do. I won't say that you have to identify as trans if you identify as nonbinary but the definition of "transgender" is simply "not identifying exclusively as your assigned gender". So I would say that if you are non-binary, that very clearly means you're trans. If you don't identify with the trans community, that's fine, but neither do many binary trans people and they're still trans. You don't have to identify as trans but if you identify as nonbinary, I would suggest you reconsider why you don't.
lmao sounds like someone failed out of school try making it past secondary school this time, and into a secular university you'll understand a concept like "non-binary" in the context of ethnography eventually... might take someone like you a while, but eventually.... 😂
Non-binary gender identities have existed throughout history and in various culture. The oldest third gender comes from ancient Egypt. They were called Sekhet
The hordes of non-binary (that have existed from the beginning of time, as we`ve been told) will reply to this to defend their ancient identity. /s Oh, only two? Never mind.
Aside from taking exogenous hormones and going through surgeries, how is this any different than a woman choosing to have short hair regardless of what the society tells her to or a man liking color pink? With all due respect, saying that makes you non-binary just reinforces harmful gender stereotypes. It's okay to like alternative styles. It's okay to do makeup. Dress as what you like, but all this non-binary stuff just doesn't make sense, is completely unnecessary and dare I say sexist.
What's sexist about someone figuring themselves out? Sex and gender aren't the same thing, gender is a social construct, and as such is a spectrum and isn't fixed. It can even fluctuate within a single individual. Being somewhere in the middle of that spectrum doesn't diminish those on either end.
Being non-binary is primarily about gender identity, not style or stereotypical hobbies or anything. There are many cis people who don't conform to stereotypes or gender norms, and there are many NB people who aren't visibly different from gender norms. What Lynn is saying is that gender expression is important to many NB people, not that that's what makes you nonbinary. It's about your innermost sense of self as neither exclusively male or female.
These are tips on how to alleviate non-binary dysphoria and feeling more comfortable in androgynous gender presentation. Having short hair doesn’t make someone non-binary, but a non-binary person might feel more comfortable sporting short hair as it’s more versatile and can be styled in a more gender ambiguous way than long hair can. It’s only sexist to those who believe in rigid gender norms and insist others adhere to them, and only doesn’t make sense to those who are misinformed or willfully ignorant. In your case I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you’re simply misinformed, but the video made clear that contrary to what you’re claiming, having short hair≠non-binary. People who say “dress as what you like” are also typically ideologues who lash out at people who dress how they like, especially gender non-conforming men or amab non-binary people, accusing them of being predators for dressing in a feminine way.
@@TheCagedCorvid it feels like it’s reinforcing gender stereo types by being like short hair on a girl & not dressing hyperfeminine leads someone to believe they aren’t a girl and are instead non-binary, because “girls don’t do that.” I’m a girl and dress how I want and it makes me feel weird when people assume I’m not a girl because I’m not wearing the “girl uniform” idk I’ve done so much research and listening to NB people a lot and I still don’t get it /: not trying to be willfully ignorant. I am a person who happened to be born a girl. That’s always how I viewed myself, but to me that doesn’t mean I must be something else. To me it feels like being alive as a human and I relate to humans so never felt like I’m something so different because I was born a girl. But yeah I guess I don’t have to get it. I have tried though & im not gonna be rude to anyone. Still open to understand one day.
Gender non-conformity is not the same thing as being nonbinary. Gender non-conformity is about not adhering to the norms associated with your gender. Being nonbinary is about being a different gender. The gender expressions of nonbinary people vary widely, it's their gender identity that matters. Being gender non-conforming does not make you nonbinary for the same reason that a cis man who is a drag queen on Saturday night is fundamentally different from a trans woman. Butch women are fundamentally different from trans men -- even if they look identical at some point in their life. In fact, the majority of trans men I know are not even that masculine, especially when they pass consistently and feel more free to express themselves in a feminine way without being misgendered. Being nonbinary is about not exclusively identifying as either a man or a woman. Some nonbinary people may include "man" or "woman" in their identity, such as bigender, genderfluid, or demiboys/girls. That may or may not be their assigned gender. Other nonbinary people do not. Nonbinary people may have dysphoria, same as many binary trans people. Being nonbinary is not about gender stereotypes. Being gender non-conforming is about not adhering to gender stereotypes. These are not the same thing. A gender non-conforming man or woman still identifies as a man or a woman, they just re-evaluate what that means to them, as I think everyone should.
I finally started embracing being more butch in my late 20s, and by the time I hit 30, I embraced being an enby, and just the realization has been great. The confused looks at my physical appearance and voice (always been deeper than typical afab, but now I've been trying to get it deeper) are a hilarious bonus.
I embraced my asexuality at age 53. Coming up on 63, I'm bracing for the enby outing, since I've definitely never embraced any kind of binary gender identity or presentation.
So happy you figured you're asexual and that you're figuring out your gender!!
Hi! 👋🏽 I’m 63 too, and came out as nonbinary and transmasculine a bit before I was 60! I’ve been out as queer since my 20s, and have been referring to myself as “graysexual” for some years now ☺️ as well. I’ve changed my name, pronouns and begun testosterone hrt… it’s all been pretty revelatory and marvelous. Luckily, my family and friends are all really supportive (and several of them are queer, nonconforming, and nb or trans themselves, so yay!). Love to see other older folks on this journey out there! Congratulations on yours!
No matter the age, queer can exist in anyone. This made me happy to read, I’m glad you found yourself
54 when I realised 🤪
Hi from Scotland… 69 and came out as non binary four years ago
I'd say being nonbinary means first you have to look inside who you are, what makes you happy while thinking "that's me"! And then you make your custom way of being nonbinary.
That being said, it sucks my father is super bigoted so I can't get it for myself.
@@treely6647I’m trying to figure out the pink purple and yellow one and it looks like some sort of variation of the aporagender flag?
Aporagender meaning according to Google: Aporagender. Another nonbinary gender identity is aporagender. Aporagender is distinct from male, female, or any gender along the binary spectrum, but still involves experiencing a strong gender identity. Like xenogender identities, aporagender identities are connected to an identity beyond a binary.
The other one looks like aromantic? Idk-?
Aromantic meaning according to Google: little or no romantic attraction to others
Aromantic people have little or no romantic attraction to others. They may or may not feel sexual attraction. An aromantic person can fall into one of two groups: aromantic sexual people or aromantic asexual people.
I'm so sorry
It might be my brianrot, but... Are you Uncle Iroh?
"Who are you and what do *you* want" moment
@@Not_mera I don't even know who this person is, sorry.
Just curious, what are the flags on your pfp?
Hmmm just a reminder. You can be nonbinary without characterising yourself in any sort of way. Bless!
I'm quite confident that I'm just a cis male, but I made sure to save this in case anyone I meet in the future might need it.
I guess I also just want to boost this video in the algorithm for people that need it.
What was your thought process when you became cis
@@FzeroVaporeon Well, I've been much more exposed to the LGBTQIA+ community recently and I've never felt that sense of people saying my name or pronouns and had it feel unnatural. I also don't have any issues with my body (I think I would hate being in a woman's body), so that's why I consider myself cis male.
Also, I know this isn't what the original comment is about, but I did recently find that I think I'm on the asexual spectrum since I sometimes think people are cute, but it never came to wanting to have s*x with them. Granted, I am young and haven't been in a real relationship ever, but since high schoolers are obsessed and I'm not obsessed, that's why I currently identify as Ace.
Sorry for the rambling but hopefully that explains my gender/sexuality choices
@@paulhudalla9527 fellow ace here, that's valid. fyi, it's ok to identify as something other than straight even if you've never been in a queer relationship or any long-term relationship before, and/or haven't had sex. sometimes, you just know. you don't have to try it if you don't feel comfortable with doing so.
I'm agender and never had any dysphoria. It's not something you need to have to be non-binary.
Blonde hair with a soft blue hoodie works so well!
that’s very funny that I looked much much more androgynous when I wasn’t aware of being enby. and there were people who thought I was a boy when my figure was hidden. and now, being aware and out, I’m wearing skirts more, makeup everyday (but the clown colourful one, different everyday) and my hair is the longest it’s been for last 10 years. :D
Whoa, this struck a chord in me. Back when I was down bad with the Big Sad, I wore plain, concealing clothes, gestured little, and spoke less. My style and mannerisms matched the masculinity of my peers and made it easy for strangers to read me as male. Now that I have a renewed energy for life and confidence to express, I am exclusively referred to by feminine pronouns. I don't love that our culture has made sex the defining trait of a person, but have grown comfortable with my feelings towards it. I don't know who I am, but I know where I stand. Thank you for sharing your experience, as it has helped me understand mine
I recently found out that I'm demi. A very nice trans person pointed that out after talking and chatting with me for some time. It just felt so normal to not have sexual interest or feelings towards most people (almost everybody) that it never felt strange.
So I still really feel the impact of the "cultural" shock that hit me.
In addition, it seems that a possible attraction (when it happens) also is not restricted to a certain gender. Cultural shock number two.
I wish everybody from the rainbow family good luck and support on their way to find out who you are and how you show it to the world.
My personal starter kit is just a small pride pin, I wear on my collar every day.
I really appreciate you posting this! ^_^ I forgot how little non-binary posters of things are out there, and I forgot how meaningful it is to me because it doesn't happen very often
Yes, I thought the same.
After many expensive too-feminine pixie cuts I gave up on hairstylists and bought hair clippers. Best decision ever! I can do my own hair whenever I feel like it, since I'm genderfluid that really helps me present how I feel in the moment, without having to wait for appointments etc.
I find when I clip it ultra short (1-2mm) people mostly read me as female. When it grows to about 1cm (which only takes a week or two) most people start to read me as male. Which did surprise me in the beginning, I would have expected it to be the other way round!
It's funny how such a tiny difference in hair length can make a big difference in how people read you.
Also I like to wear different styles of hats, much cheaper and easier to find here than wigs 😊
Oh my gosh, me too! I buzzed off my hip-length hair about 15 years ago (I’m in my 60s!) and never looked back. Now I keep it super short most of the year, just letting it grow willy-nilly during the coldest part of winter, and I wear hats all the time! So easy to care for, and so much more gender indifferent.
I'm cisM but I'm so interested in enby fashion. I've literally just been living in jeans/shorts and tees so experimenting is something completely new is pretty cool.
same here, im all for breaking male stereotypes
Relatable
Button up shirts!! I love patterned button up shirts, they really help with appearing in between the binary.
Yes! I've only come to terms with my enby identity in the last year or so, but I've always gravitated towards bright coloured (usually plaid) button ups... it makes a lot of sense now lol
Didn't know this was a common thing, lol. I'm also an enby who loves those button up shirts with patterns. They're some of the only tops in my area that aren't super clingy. Also, they're just cute :D
lol, me too!!
My cis/het hairstylist probably asked me 6 times if I “really wanted my hair THAT short.” She’s great, but it took me 20 minutes to explain to her that I was okay with people thinking I was a man and that was kind of the entire point of the haircut.
this happened to me too.. my hairstylist called me "bro" when i requested to cut my hair very short😭
As a younger enby bean getting in the circles, your channel and advice is so helpful for me!!! Thank you!!!!
Amazing video! Sometimes I get depressed over the fact that I’m nonbinary and it seems that half the world is against me being me but this vid felt like a hug from a friend and made me remember there are others like me out there 💜
Damn this vid came out at the perfect time for me. My egg cracked about 10 months ago and I have been really enjoying the process of exploring - though I've been doing so quite slowly. Of course it's still been peppered with moments of "Nah I'm probably still cis, right?" until yesterday I thought "Okay I've been exploring and enjoying this AND I still remember how good it felt when someone referred to me as 'them'" so it's really nice to watch this video and get some ideas about how I might look into this further!
Thank you!
Just so you know just because you feel comfortable being referred to as them doesn't necessarily mean you're non-binary
@@momsspaghetti-sd9sn Cool, guess I'll pay attention to this random stranger on the internet to tell me how I should identify. Thanks, internet stranger. Your contribution was highly appreciated.
I’m enby and there is an option if you want breasts but are on the fence about HRT: breast forms. I used the individual ones that you need to put in a bra rather than the “breastplate” style and I picked up mine for ~$50 on Amazon. They look good enough, I like their weight, and they helped me decide whether or not I want to be on HRT.
Also, in terms of makeup, I think eye makeup is most important. I think most people look at your eyes when looking at you. I occasionally struggle when I look at my beard shadow and want to cover it up, but the eye makeup has helped me immensely!
I love how you really emphasized the choice in everything and how it's all about feeling comfortable with yourself, not adhering to some strict set of rules or stereotypes or whatnot.
The rules are there are no rules. Nonbinary is a massively diverse spectrum that can range all the way from bordering one of the binary genders, to nowhere in between. Since there are no preexisting third genders to model in modern western society, you pretty much have to discover and invent it for yourself. I know of some who transition all the way, as a binary trans person would, but still are nonbinary. I know some who only socially transition, or who go about their business as their AGAB because it's nobody else's business. I'm personally leaving every option on the table, with the goal of reaching the point where I can switch up my presentation day by day, since I'm genderfluid.
My genderfluidity is mostly private atm... my son and niece are supportive, but my mother and sister can't come to terms with anything outside the gender binary, so I don't bring it up around them. I'm also in an area where there isn't really a queer community, and anyone over the age of 25 is quite closed-minded. So I just keep to myself, do what I want, and to most of the town I'm just the "weird, witchy, lesbian looking, identity crisis having, crazy cat lady" (all stuff I've heard or been told lol) and honestly, I quite enjoy being an enigma lol
Nah, you mean non binary is bullshit. Just a made up problem so the white & privileged can claim to be a victim 😂
And I hope that everyone has a wonderful day
Thanks! Great video. Haven’t come out yet. I am nonbinary, but I am experimenting with exactly what that means to me. Oh, top surgery would be amazing. At 56, there’s a whole new world now beyond just male or female. Who knew!
I’ve known I was nonbinary for almost 3 years now and am still closeted, though potentially want to come out soon maybe and this was helpful. Also over the time, and especially more recently I’ve been thinking I may be more and more fem maybe transfem or something, and have been looking into taking estrogen, though it’s been so hard to find any resources available on what using low dose e could do for me rather than the full dose.
I’ve been out as an enby for I think 11 ish years, but yeah there really wasn’t any content that wasn’t essentially people saying it wasn’t real. I found your channel just last night and I’m so happy that I found you.
As a transmasc genderfluid person i decided to see how much would apply to me and the first thing it related to was the bieber hair T-T
I did the thrift store thing! It was especially useful for getting cheap button up shirts for when I had top surgery. It also helps that I get an employee discount at the thrift store attached to my workplace. I do prefer shorter hair, though, especially as I get older. I work 57 hours a week in two different jobs. Short hair makes it SO much easier to get ready in the mornings! For me, it is honestly all about comfort and ease and practicality. At the same time, I use makeup regularly. And I take low dose T. If your insurance requires HRT to qualify for coverage of surgeries, like mine does, microdosing helps to be able to qualify by technically meeting the requirements of your insurance policy. And I'm on finasteride as well. Insurance companies often lag behind medical standards, so make sure you know what your insurance policy requires for any medical treatments that apply to your own personal transition goals.
Thank you so much for this video! There are a lot of great tips (especially for the hair, it really has been liberating letting my hair grow and getting a side cut !) Your happiness and joy shines trough the video and it's very refreshing!
I have such horrible dysphoria and dysmorphia. I dont look at mirrors, try not to be in photos, and have end up spiraling if i catch my reflection somewhere.
00:23 i seriously wasn't expecting noahfinnce there
I came here to figure out if I was non binary. Instead I found out I’m pan.
To anyone who wants to cut their hair: please consider donating it! If you intend to cut more than 25cm/9 inches you can donate it to organisations that make wigs for people that are experiencing hair loss. I just donated my hair and it was a pretty cool experience. I love my short hair now! I realised that (also for me as a cis person) experimenting with my style is so fun! And I used reference pics of some non-binary people's haircuts :)
Thank you so much for the help, you seem to be an amazing person! I don't talk english but I could understand every word you said and I was soo happy! Thanks, really!!!
This AMAB enby hopes this is relatable to me....
I tried my best to be as inclusive as I could be!
@@lynnsaga1397 it's pretty good so far. I think Pinterest is not as useful to be.
@@lynnsaga1397 I think I've watched the videos at the end, I think I might have watched them but I think I may be found the style of talking a bit a bit too intense. Maybe it's an autism thing with like different voices, or it's just me getting a bit overwhelmed with someone who shares so much of my experience talking about it. To be honest I kind of feel like I'm never really going to be as good as those two in my transition.
@@PlurCo Your transition is unique, just like it is for everyone. I know it's hard, but try not to compare your transition to that of others, or at least try not to evaluate or judge it. As long as you feel comfortable with your transistion, everything is great. I think that if you transition with the mindset of "I want my transition to be like [whoever]" you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Your transition is about YOU. And you are a wonderful unique person, so your transition cannot be like somebody elses.
I feel like there are both universal aspects to enby transitions regardless of sex assigned at birth, and other aspects that vary between individuals. Other than some gender presentation differences, from what I’ve seen, AMAB, AFAB and AIAB enby people all seem to have very parallel experiences, if not exactly the same.
Noah, Jammi and Ashley? Best video ever❤❤❤
(Not that your other videos are bad, I love your videos)
*As someone who was alive in the 80s, you definitely have 80s rocker hair! (It's awesome!)
*My firstborn is (26) is also afab enby! They've been on T for... maybe 6 years now, and have had top surgery. And I believe they sometimes putter with makeup. Do whatever works for you!
I'm very gender fluid and switch up my look between masculine and slightly feminine frequently. My question is about placement of my bun. Where should my bun go and how do I style it when I want it to be a "man bun" ? Seriously, for some reason this is something I need to know.
Same, I really struggle to present masculinely, but the thought of cutting my long hair that I just spent the last 3 years growing out to my natural salt and pepper colour is sacrilege to me...
Why do people use masculine and femenine as labels for arbitrary things as clothes
@FzeroVaporeon honestly, I don't really get it either, I'm just using the language of the society I'm stuck with. In an ideal situation, I'd just give up on the whole concept, but a lot of people have their identity tied up in it, and I know what it's like to have my identity disregarded... it sucks. Clothes are a way to express identity, and although I agree it's arbitrary in itself, it's more about how we're using them to portray who we are to others. for someone like me who fluctuates, it's useful in a descriptive way even though it's pretty dumb when you actually think about it.
@@TheCagedCorvid let's say the concepts of masculinity and femininity are phased out. Assigned sex becomes nothing but a arbitrary thing that really only matters in a medical setting. You could use any pronouns in a post sexist world. You could still have hormones to shape the way your body grows. No one would judge you as unnatural for wearing any type of clothes or any activity. You know you can use other words that don't reinforce the gender construct that oppresses us. I don't know what you're really talking about with some people have their identity tied up with it. You could still do all of the same things.
10:31 Transfemme here, finasteride is an awesome choice for limiting male pattern baldness at low doses and as a general anti androgen at higher doses! I started it before my egg cracked, and while it's a bit pricy over the counter, it was an accessible option of lowering my dysphoria and trying things out.
I recently came out as non-binary and demisexual at the age of 22. The most annoying thing is being biologically a curvy girl. Since I began questioning myself some months ago, I still have some identity and gender crisis. What's more, my parents mostly accepted, but they think I'm just etiquetting myself. I know I need time, but sometimes the struggle in my head it's a lot.
Thank you sm for this, Lynn! I really need this rn 💜
I've watched like over half of the binary trans people you used as examples lol
You are an awesome, sweet person. You arr someone i admire and look up too. Love you're style you are awesome
As someone who just found out I’m non binary like two days ago this is really exciting!!! I’m only out to a few of my friends and I’m really scared on what to do with my parents. I want to see how long I can pull off being gender neutral without my parents knowing. Both my parents know I’m lesbian she/they but they never call me “they” and it’s kinda annoying. My dad said he won’t so yaaaay. I have non binary stickers/a hidden flag in my room but they haven’t said anything yet. I’m going to go on Pinterest and go find non binary outfits/hair and show them to my mom as what I want. And I did get a binder when I was a she/they and my mom was chill about it. I do have plans to get top surgery when I’m old enough.
Interestingly even when I came out, I never felt like “I have to discover enby fashion” cuz I felt like … I have always been nonbinary. Everything I wear is nonbinary. I’m just finding the right word to describe it
this is so freaky, we look so much alike and want the same things in medical transition. never seen that before. anyway, great video!
💛🤍💜🖤
☺️
I'm just coming out and this helped!!!
this is gonna be just like... awkward yelling about my own trans clothing struggle right now but i use he/him pronouns and i'm generally just out as A Trans Guy which is true in a way but i'm also nonbinary, and i miss some aspects of "fem" clothes so bad it's killing me. watching stuff like this feels like maybe it's giving me ever so slightly more confidence to try incorporating that stuff into my wardrobe again someday but it's so hard because i just want to avoid getting misgendered 24/7 y'know? there's also just the whole additional aspect of fatphobia that makes people waaaay less accepting of ~experimental gender expression~ which should not be the case but it is and it's shitty.
anyhow i like this video a lot, and i love your hair btw, definitely getting the 80s rocker vibes and the strawberry blond is such a nice colour. i think to any fellow enbies who don't have access to a queer hairdresser, at least consider doing it yourself! i know it's not gonna be comfortable for everyone but i had a miserable experience every time i tried to get my hair done professionally because i don't live anywhere near a queer hairdresser, then a few years back i just started doing it myself and i'm still having a great time just doing whatever the hell i want to my hair.
IDK if this helps but I'm also nonbinary, been out for a decade. Shortly after I realised I wasn't cis I found I just... couldn't wear some stuff that I'd been happy in before. It was definitely a mix of dysphoria I hadn't realised was there, and that being made worse by misgendering from the general public.
Now I've been on hormones a few years and had top surgery in 2020, I'm very much assumed to be a cishet man unless/until I say otherwise. (This occasionally leads to hilarious misunderstandings.) In the last ~6 months I've started playing around with adding things-read-as-femme back into my wardrobe, and it's not been a dysphoria problem at all.
Not saying this will be the case for everyone, of course, but just wanted to share in case it helps.
@@GaraksApprentice this is reassuring to hear, thank you. testosterone dose is due to go up and i should hopefully have a top surgery date by the end of the year so fingers crossed a more ~traditionally masculine~ physical appearance will give me some confidence to start getting back into some of those sorts of clothes in future. always happy to hear stories of fellow gnc trans people living their lives well!
Aegosexual Demiro here, and plushgender genderfluid, don't consider myself nonbinary except for when my pronouns shift to they/them, even still this video is really nice and think this might benefit me as well, keep up the good, and thank you 💜💜💜
Thank you so much for making this video, I have known that I am NB for about 2 years now and am sort of out but not fully, there is some fluidity to it but mostly I am in a state of “eh” but lately I’ve been considering T and top surgery more seriously, I still have to look into it more though before I even begin taking steps towards that, it was a good tip that there are ways to lessen the effects of T since I definitely want to avoid certain things
What's your style of clothing that you wear for the winter time
Full length hooded coat, big scarf, then whatever is underneath doesn't really matter until you get inside. I love winter, I actually find clothes much easier than in warmer weather.
Tbh long hair is so good. Ive had short hair for 17 years (almost all of my life) but Ive grown it out and I love having long hair. I like to call myself non binary because I dont really fit a binary gender. I just see my gender as I am not a binary gender I am just me as weird as it sounds. I dont really understand gender tbh. There is definitely things I have some discomfort with but tbh its ok I can live with it. I tend to like wearing the same clothes over and over so once I find an outfit I like ill probably just stick to it for simplicity. I dont know what it is about it but i hate the idea of makeup I could never use it. I am just me ig :3
Happy international nonbinary day!!
Thank you so much for this video 💜
Btw, as for the hair bit,
If anyone wants a really cute haircut idea, I once searched up "enby hair" (or something like that), the ref pic I found is someone with a pink/purple haircut. The haircut in question is basically a chin length cut with lots of layers and (kinda) curtain bangs :3
I'm planning on getting a haircut like it but just show the ref (im not out yet BUT I showed it to my mom and she thought it would look good on me >:DD)
I'm a super baby enby and that's mostly been a mental transition for me. I have a mostly-black wardrobe but I do want to start experimenting with more color and the thrift store suggestion is amazing! It'd be nice to stop cycling between the same ~20 plain black tees with this or that band tee (seriously, I have about 20 black undershirts). I've also been growing my hair out for about 4 years (AMAB) and it's at a length I'm pretty happy with. Still unsure what I want to do about the facial hair...might just keep it short for now. I don't know that I'll dive into makeup or medical transition, but keeping them in the back pocket in case I ever want to go down either road is something I wanna do. Thank you for this vid, btw!!!!
I need more videos about genderfluid people 'cause for now I'm just inspired by nonbinary and trans videos😭
I'm actually planning a gender fluid video for next week!
@@lynnsaga1397 omgggg that's amazing 😍
Thanks for this, very informative. Could you please share the name of the drug you mentioned as an alternative to testosterone? Cheers!
Thank you so much, i have been out for a year, after thinking about it for such a long long time, and its been kinda hard to know where to start, y'know?
I have to admit, I'm currently identifying as enby because I do feel very femme for many, many years, but I'm still not certain and anxious to be part of a binary...
LMAO "14 y/o boy" style nation!!
But at times I switch to a Victorian thing (yup, "thing" cause I mix a little bit men and women clothes hehe)
I think I would suggest to anybody if this helps because I have ADHD and I overthink things maybe just calling your style your signature For example, Chance Harris style because Chance Harris is my name
I see Overwatch on your desktop. What are your thoughts on Venture?
Lack of skins has been disappointing to me and everyone says them being enby restricts the devs too much to be scared to show any gender presentation. I think it opens up so many options! The fact that there wasn't a punk skin on launch was kind of shocking to me. Overwatch has so many punk skins and the punk scene has historically experimented with gender so much!
As someone with like 70 hours on Ow2 and been taking a year's break, it's nice to see an enby rep for that game too. and as for people saying too scared to show any gender presentation? that's in a way great. like some nonbinaries feel both genders to some extent while others just don't or refuse to identify with either binaries. it'll be interesting to see where they go with them skin-wise. like as long as its not hyper into one direction, then it'll be an alright presentation and not really limiting.
It's been really nice lately to give myself permission to just like the things I like.
Thank you for this video!
I loved reading all the comments! I feel much better and much less alone!
I hope ya'll have a beautiful day!!
❤😊❤
THANK YOU!! I needed this.
7:10 I'm sorely related here. I'm duosex, my entire Nonbinary identity is about my medical transition. Whenever I talk about medical transition as a nonbinary person there's always a silence. No one discusses hormones or salmacian surgery for nonbinary people.
I have all ways dress up like a girl in home. Now wear makeup 💄 out not much scared to do more..,,,my mom Gave me female hormones by taking morning sickness pills back then ..long ago...so I feel like a woman ..❤
Ahhhh as a genderfluid Trans Woman who is sometimes trans masc seeing another genderfluid person got me so hype. Also you can go full estrogen and blockers and then get off of blockers to have double hormones if that makes you comfortable like it does for me
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!! 🫰🫰🫶😭😂😁
❤❤ love ❤️ your videos
I'm half enby, but I also don't know wtf I am
Relatable. I’m amab but with an intersex condition, and though I present as male for the most part, I have genital dysphoria and prefer to dress androgynously, but I don’t really have social dysphoria when people refer to me as male, so I’m not sure if I qualify as enby
@@SarastistheSerpent I'm a transfem but I also want short hair and wouldn't mind being referred to with they/them pronouns too
Sounds about right... my son is actually trans masc, but still wears some very fem stuff some days, and I spent most of my life trying to be female, but it never worked for me, until I came across the term non binary, and subsequently genderfluid. I spent so long not knowing what I was, it's a process, and it changes, and ultimately, you just have to be what you feel at any given time ❤
What is your Gender!? A rockstar from the 80's!
I love your videos!!
hey :3 i’m a transmasc enby (he/they/it) that’s mostly masc and has a huge preference for he/him pronouns but this was rly cool :3
I've been trying to incorporate feminine and masculine clothing in my outfits. It's a little difficult to put together something that looks good
Why gender labeling...
@FzeroVaporeon hey, I'm not gender labeling. It's a way to describe the kinds of clothes. I know it's confusing. Feminine and masuline are words that describe the clothes as traditionally from them. If it fits me and I look good, I'll wear it
@@earacloud1878 you are gender labeling. Using the words masculine and feminine, that's gender labeling. It describes the clothes solely by relying on the reader's understanding of sexist stereotypes. Thus it reinforces sexism.
@FzeroVaporeon I don't really understand this if I'm honest
@@earacloud1878 what makes clothes femenine or masculine?
OMGGGGG THANK YOU FOR THE SHOUTOUT !!!!
There was a period of time earlier this year where I was told almost every day that I looked like an underage boy lol (part of it is because of hormones I think)
so is it called nb starter kit bc kit is a typically nb name, or...?
Comment for solidarity wewwe
(Numbers = Chapters)
I. I'm trying femme clothes.
II. I like it long.
III. I'm not interested in makeup.
IV. Later.
and then there's my Genderfluid ass, trying to put put together one cohesive outfit on a part time budget, let alone multiple.
2:11 "His pronouns are they/them!"
I double-checked and he lists his pronouns as "he/they/them/elle" on TT. It wasn't a mistake.
nonbinary people can use binary pronouns and still be nonbinary
People who voice Chocolate Milk from GLADOS object show be like (yes Chocolate Milk is also nonbinary, pronouns are they/them.)
I am still a smol baby enby and the struggle for clothing and hair styles is real o.O
Currently growing my hair so I have more options on what to do with it, but so far no clue 😅
How do you conjugate "Being" as a pronoun?
I am trying to understand Nonbinary as my 13. year old granddaughter has recently declared that she is Nonbinary and her pronouns are they them...
Not sure if you meant this in a bad way, but you said your grandchild’s pronouns are they/them in the same sentence you referred to them as “she”. I know it can be a hard adjustment, and the mistake is understandable, but for your grandchild sake please try.
Huh, "Being" feels kinda good as a pronoun :)
I am eating sesame seeds food that has lots of female hormones trying to grow boobs 🎉
Phytoestrogens don't work the same way as animal estrogens. If you do want boobs, you should consider going on actual estrogen. More doctors are open to nonbinary people medically transitioning now.
Oh nice, i haven't really liked seeds or nuts so good to get motivation to start eating them
Sans
go drink your water yall
Why do you consider yourself non-binary but not trans? If you are willing to do surgery and testosterone... I’m confused with your terminology.
Cause it's not about who she wants to be. It's about escaping yourself ..
@@PRINCESS-zz3wq umm... no?
@@PRINCESS-zz3wq no, definitely not. some nonbinary people literally dont want to call themselves trans because of the backlash. a strange amount of people, even in the trans community dont see nonbinary ppl as trans, but a “secret third thing”. i am nonbinary and i think of myself as trans. some people dont. its that easy
Because people use the terms they feel fit them best. Not all non-binary people are trans, and not all trans people are non-binary. There's overlap, for sure, but they aren’t interchangeable adjectives.
5:11. That's how long it took you to use the slur, and immediately make me not want to watch this anymore
informed people dont use it as a slur anymore, the meanings of words can change
That’s not a slur anymore and even if it were, lgbt people reclaim it
it's reclaimed since people got tired of saying the entire "LGBTQ+ person" phrase, so its easier to say that. i get that its been more of a slur in the past though.
Queer is not a slur anymore. It has long been reclaimed. Generally people who consider queer a slur are anti-LGBTQ (and especially anti-trans) ideologues who _want_ being queer to be something shameful
In the USA especially, queer is not a slur. We took it back and reclaimed it decades ago. It is often used as an umbrella term for the whole LGBT+ community, as well as a term for those that don't fit as neatly into certain boxes within that community. Do some homophobes and bigots still try to use it as a slur? Sure. But they're idiots and they've come to realize it doesn't have the punch it used to because we were like "yeah, and?" There was that famous slogan of "We're here, we're queer, get used to it." Many Pride parades in the USA now use the phrase "Queer All Year" to denote that we still exist and matter outside of Pride month.
So glad i have accepted im gender non conforming and androgynous without giving myself these labels. Id recommend liberating yourself from it.
I assume you're coming at this from something like a "gender abolitionist" terf angle that just replaces "gender" with "(assigned) sex".
The issue is that you're confusing gender expression with gender identity. Nonbinary is not the same as gender non-conforming or androgynous. Some nonbinary people do dress more androgynously to avoid looking and being perceived too much as either binary gender. Others dress more flamboyantly to show a clash against social norms of having a beard and wearing a dress, for example.
Other nonbinary people do not dress androgynously. They may dress and be okay being perceived in public as their assigned gender or they may dress and be okay being perceived in public as the "opposite" gender. Their nonbinary identity may be something that is mostly important between them and their friends. Their friends know what pronouns to use for them, strangers may just assume they're binary.
Other nonbinary people, such as bi/pan/poly/gender or genderfluid people may dress more masculine some days and more feminine other days, depending on their mood. They may be dysphoric about masculine traits one day and feminine traits another day.
Being nonbinary means not identifying exclusively as either a man or a woman. That's it. There's no particular "look" someone has. Gender non-conforming people identify as only a man or a woman but choose to present in a way that is not the norm for their gender. This is not only true of cis people. I personally know butch trans women and fem trans men. Their gender identity and their gender expression are not the same.
I dress more feminine than the average woman. I took my conservative upbringing and that style of femininity and made it my own, picking and choosing what I liked. I am not really gender non-conforming if you perceive me as a woman. And yet I am not a woman. That's what makes me nonbinary, not the way I choose to dress.
Being nonbinary doesn't imply androgyny.
Being androgynous doesn't imply being nonbinary.
You want to present in a gender non-conforming androgynous way but don't identify as nonbinary? Sure. There's a *ton* of people who do that. That doesn't mean nonbinary people are just like you. You're just highlighting the distinction.
@@asongfromunderthefloorboards I don't think there is really such a thing as dressing androgynous, masculine, or feminine. It sounds really old fashioned and sexist.
Those are also both labels, and valid ones. They are different than being non-binary though. Like they said, gender identity is different than gender expression. It's awesome that you have come to understand the terms that best describe yourself. Allow others to do the same.
Good for you? Nobody said you can't be cisgender.
Non binary is about gender only. It's in the spectrum with binary woman and man gender. It is not trans or trans only. Cis and trans are identities based on sex + gender not on gender alone unlike non binary. We can be cis non binary because we don't want to medically transition our sex. It has always existed and is normal. Everyone of every sex can be of any gender
While I agree, I feel like it would be very uncommon to find cis non-binary people, as up until fairly recently it was standard medical practice to assign intersex infants as a binary gender rather than as X. I have seen some debate as to whether intersex people assigned a binary gender after birth but who identify as non-binary as adults would qualify as cis, since they were technically reassigned as a binary sex rather than strictly assigned, as medically they are intersex and therefore not strictly a binary sex.
I recognize that some people do identify as nonbinary but not trans. I have never really understood why. For me, being nonbinary is very solidly under the trans umbrella. Whenever I have talked to nonbinary people who do not identify as trans, they usually associate being trans with binary gender, medical transition, and/or dysphoria. But this is not the case.
This is also what you seem to be implying -- that being trans is about modifying you body through hormones and/or surgeries. But it's not. Some trans people do choose to modify their bodies if it's right for them and they have access to it. Other trans people do not choose to modify their bodies either because it's not right for them or they don't have access. They're still exactly as trans as people who do.
I won't say that you have to identify as trans if you identify as nonbinary but the definition of "transgender" is simply "not identifying exclusively as your assigned gender". So I would say that if you are non-binary, that very clearly means you're trans. If you don't identify with the trans community, that's fine, but neither do many binary trans people and they're still trans.
You don't have to identify as trans but if you identify as nonbinary, I would suggest you reconsider why you don't.
Non binary = I have no personality or ability the think for myself. First world problems 😂
lmao sounds like someone failed out of school
try making it past secondary school this time, and into a secular university
you'll understand a concept like "non-binary" in the context of ethnography eventually... might take someone like you a while, but eventually.... 😂
Non-binary gender identities have existed throughout history and in various culture. The oldest third gender comes from ancient Egypt. They were called Sekhet
The hordes of non-binary (that have existed from the beginning of time, as we`ve been told) will reply to this to defend their ancient identity. /s Oh, only two? Never mind.
Aside from taking exogenous hormones and going through surgeries, how is this any different than a woman choosing to have short hair regardless of what the society tells her to or a man liking color pink? With all due respect, saying that makes you non-binary just reinforces harmful gender stereotypes. It's okay to like alternative styles. It's okay to do makeup. Dress as what you like, but all this non-binary stuff just doesn't make sense, is completely unnecessary and dare I say sexist.
What's sexist about someone figuring themselves out? Sex and gender aren't the same thing, gender is a social construct, and as such is a spectrum and isn't fixed. It can even fluctuate within a single individual. Being somewhere in the middle of that spectrum doesn't diminish those on either end.
Being non-binary is primarily about gender identity, not style or stereotypical hobbies or anything. There are many cis people who don't conform to stereotypes or gender norms, and there are many NB people who aren't visibly different from gender norms. What Lynn is saying is that gender expression is important to many NB people, not that that's what makes you nonbinary. It's about your innermost sense of self as neither exclusively male or female.
These are tips on how to alleviate non-binary dysphoria and feeling more comfortable in androgynous gender presentation. Having short hair doesn’t make someone non-binary, but a non-binary person might feel more comfortable sporting short hair as it’s more versatile and can be styled in a more gender ambiguous way than long hair can.
It’s only sexist to those who believe in rigid gender norms and insist others adhere to them, and only doesn’t make sense to those who are misinformed or willfully ignorant. In your case I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you’re simply misinformed, but the video made clear that contrary to what you’re claiming, having short hair≠non-binary.
People who say “dress as what you like” are also typically ideologues who lash out at people who dress how they like, especially gender non-conforming men or amab non-binary people, accusing them of being predators for dressing in a feminine way.
@@TheCagedCorvid it feels like it’s reinforcing gender stereo types by being like short hair on a girl & not dressing hyperfeminine leads someone to believe they aren’t a girl and are instead non-binary, because “girls don’t do that.”
I’m a girl and dress how I want and it makes me feel weird when people assume I’m not a girl because I’m not wearing the “girl uniform”
idk I’ve done so much research and listening to NB people a lot and I still don’t get it /: not trying to be willfully ignorant.
I am a person who happened to be born a girl. That’s always how I viewed myself, but to me that doesn’t mean I must be something else. To me it feels like being alive as a human and I relate to humans so never felt like I’m something so different because I was born a girl.
But yeah I guess I don’t have to get it. I have tried though & im not gonna be rude to anyone. Still open to understand one day.
Gender non-conformity is not the same thing as being nonbinary. Gender non-conformity is about not adhering to the norms associated with your gender. Being nonbinary is about being a different gender. The gender expressions of nonbinary people vary widely, it's their gender identity that matters.
Being gender non-conforming does not make you nonbinary for the same reason that a cis man who is a drag queen on Saturday night is fundamentally different from a trans woman. Butch women are fundamentally different from trans men -- even if they look identical at some point in their life. In fact, the majority of trans men I know are not even that masculine, especially when they pass consistently and feel more free to express themselves in a feminine way without being misgendered.
Being nonbinary is about not exclusively identifying as either a man or a woman. Some nonbinary people may include "man" or "woman" in their identity, such as bigender, genderfluid, or demiboys/girls. That may or may not be their assigned gender. Other nonbinary people do not. Nonbinary people may have dysphoria, same as many binary trans people.
Being nonbinary is not about gender stereotypes. Being gender non-conforming is about not adhering to gender stereotypes. These are not the same thing. A gender non-conforming man or woman still identifies as a man or a woman, they just re-evaluate what that means to them, as I think everyone should.
🤮
🤨?
@@robokillers Hello, female.
@@KryptoBeatz Hello, other human being. How are you doing this fine day?
@@KryptoBeatz why are you calling random people “female”?
@@SarastistheSerpent Truth ☺️
I finally started embracing being more butch in my late 20s, and by the time I hit 30, I embraced being an enby, and just the realization has been great. The confused looks at my physical appearance and voice (always been deeper than typical afab, but now I've been trying to get it deeper) are a hilarious bonus.
Thank you for posting this! :) 💛🤍💜🖤
💛🤍💜🖤