I came out as nonbinary five days ago, I changed my name and pronouns online and I get so much euphoria. I don’t have too much dysphoria but I get so excited when my friends use my correct pronouns and new name. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, Lynn. And I have to say, as an agender person that grew up in a very homo and transphobic religious southern family, I can relate to so much of this. Though I don't think I always knew I wasn't a boy or girl, I do remember not quite feeling like I belong in either category. But I wasn't taught that I could be anything other than a boy, so I kinda just put up with it. When it came to dysphoria, I would tell myself things like 'oh, it's okay. Your voice isn't *that* masculine' and 'you're a boy. Your shoulders are *supposed* to be like that.' And when I ever wanted to do or wear something that wasn't deemed 'appropriate' for boys to wear, I would just bury the feelings, attempt to deny to myself that I ever felt that way. Honestly it was largely because I wanted to be the 'good boy' my parents expected me to be. But now, at the age of 23, I finally know what I am and who I want to be, and I partially have you to thank for that. So thank you, Lynn. 🧡💛🤍💙🖤💚🖤
This reminds me of the story of me finding out that I'm genderfluid: There is this book series called Magnus Chase, which has a character named Alex. They're genderfluid and the moment I read about that character I thought: wow, that could really fit me! But for some weird reason my 15-year-old self thought that the author had just made that identity up😅and then it made me so happy finding out that that identity was real
I was also raised afab mormon. I don't remember ever thinking or asking "why am I a girl/why am I not a boy" but I had other things going on that made it so I didn't even consider thinking outside of the structures the church put in front of me. But I WAS feeling uncomfortable. Not recognizing myself as I grew up. *Needing* gender to be a core part of my identity and just leaning into the way the church taught it and ignoring my discomfort and what I actually WANTED until I had a baby as an adult. After being an adult I distinctly kept feeling like "i don't relate to womanhood. I feel like a have a weird relationship with womanhood. It doesnt *fit* me". When I deconstructed the family proclammation I said out loud "I don't have to do this gender thing? It's all made up???" The RELIEF was imcredible. It's been SO HELPFUL to learn about nonbinary folks, especially who come from mormonism. It's hard to separate out the church's influence on my sense of self.
You wondered why you were a girl? Biology class should have cleared that up. But the fact that you think sex is assigned at birth suggests maybe you didn't get to that bit.
Same here!! Especially the bit about not connecting well to womanhood after pregnancy. I’m glad for me, being nonbinary makes more space for that experience ❤❤❤ thanks for sharing!
@@SeaBreeze-w9999 "David Reimer was a Canadian man raised as a girl following medical advice and intervention after his penis was severely injured during a botched circumcision in infancy. The psychologist John Money oversaw the case and reported the reassignment as successful and as evidence that gender identity is primarily learned. The academic sexologist Milton Diamond later reported that Reimer's realization that he was not a girl occurred between the ages of 9 and 11 years and that he was living as a male by the age of 15. Well known in medical circles for years anonymously as the "John/Joan" case, Reimer later went public with his story to help discourage similar medical practices. He killed himself at age 38." John Money tried to forcibly trans a cis person and it didn't work. Gender identity is real and even cis people can have one.
i spent 2 years playing dnd then realised all my characters are nonbi, i prefer to keep their gender blurry, and i got very uncomfortable when i was asked about their gender. and that's how i discover my onw nonbi-ness😂 then i started to play all sorts of characters who were nothing alike myself, then i found somehow they are all aroace and i got extremely uncomfortable when npcs flirt or try to flirt with my character...
Thank you for sharing! 💛🤍💜🖤 I've been identifying as aroace for the past decade (which honestly is a lot to unpack) and it was only recently that I started thinking about gender. I grew up in the south where there were (and still are) rigidly defined gender roles which I was never really comfortable with, nor understood entirely. I currently identify as agender, my pronouns are she/they, I'm keeping my (feminine) name, I'm not looking to socially or medically transition, and any or all of this could change tomorrow. Thanks again and take care! 🙂
My experience is a little different. I used to associate all my dysphoria with being neurodivergent. I’m 35 married for 8 years and a parent. It was only recently that I started to untangle everything. I first heard the term nonbinary a few years ago and sorry to say it rubbed me the wrong way at first. When my sister in laws child came out as nonbinary a few years ago I felt like I was losing a niece. Found myself thinking oh it’s just a phase. I thought my own gender dysphoria was something I would have to learn to live with and tried not to acknowledge it for what it was. Fast forward to last fall I was feeling dysphoria that I could not pin down because it had nothing to do with my neurodivergence and I found myself thinking maybe in another life I could be born as a girl but I don’t completely feel like a woman or a man. Then came my epiphany moment. That’s exactly what nonbinary is. All the dysphoria melted away in an instant leaving a clear and silent mind. It was frankly staggering. There are plenty of signs over the years when I really think about it. I never realized I was feeling gender dysphoria because I associated all feelings of dysphoria with being autistic when it was more complicated than that. I started going by Wren he/him pronouns last month and nearly everyone in my circle who I’ve confided with has been accepting. I watched Lynn’s video about demiboys and felt like that fit because I feel male part of the time but do not identify with masculinity.
Thanks for sharing your story here! I'm a couple decades older than you, same church, similar feelings, but still active with a family. Working on figuring this all out and making space for myself and others from within the organization. Keep being yourself!
Thank you for sharing your story. Figuring out you are enby is one of the hardest things because it's so hard to even know it exists (also because I was born in the 80s so I did not even learn enby was a thing for a large part of my life). Congrats on getting through all of this an getting to live as yourself! Also in your case you were raised in a very gendered religion which makes it even harder.
Hello, Lynn. For a bit more than two years I identified as a transgender man. I'm now past that period of my life, and I guess I'm what you would call a "cisgender woman". I watched the whole video because I genuinely wish to understand the experiences of others, but I've noticed that your story and mine are similar. Not the same, of course, particularly because I didn't grew up in a very religious environment. But for the rest of what you said, I could relate so I'm trying to get what about this described experience makes it non binary. First, I was sooo uncomfortable with my breast growing too. I'm now fairly okay with it, I can't say I spend much time thinking about it. But when I was little I hated the idea of it growing and I was afraid that it was going to be huge and heavy and I wanted nothing to do with that. I used to think this was a very unique experience (shared mostly by trans identified people, which is one of the things that made me question my gender), but I found out a lot of women (born and raised women, I mean) feel in a similar way. Puberty sucks for nearly everybody, I think. It's a tough time, especially when, as you said, you start being treated differently according to your sex. You said you saw how the boys were treated and how the girls were and wanted neither of those treatmeants. Well, doesn't everybody? When boys are told they can't cry and have to be tough and girls are told they need to be nice and grateful, I doubt it makes any of them happy. What I heard you describing sounded like you refusing social roles imposed on yourself, but please correct me if I'm wrong. Second, I had troubles understading when for you the incrongruence (or 'dysphoria') wasn't about "A young woman who didn't conform to beauty standards", but it was rather “A matter of my body not looking like the way I feel inside”. But if how you feel inside is non binary then how does that internal feeling translate in how you want your body to look like? And also, doesn’t it go against the logic of “whatever my body looks like is a non binary body because I am non binary”? Why the need to change it, then? The final thing that left me confused was that you concluded the video saying that "gender is everything, and it is everywhere" and immediately after that you said "gender is a social construct and we shouldn't take it too seriously"...which one is it, it's everything or it's not to be taken seriously? I know this comment is very long, but I'd be thankful if you or someone else who identifies as non binary took the time to respond to my questiones. I went from very confidently identyfing as trans to being gender critical and honestly I'd like to find some middle ground between those too.
@@SeaBreeze-w9999 Yes that's where She/They comes from. A lot of famous people have She/They, He/They, They/He pronouns 😅 Correct me if I'm wrong but Ellis(Lynn's sibling) is partially non binary too with He/They pronouns. ❤
I was raised SDA (Seventh-Day Adventist), but I’ve been an agnostic atheist since some point during my high school years. During Thanksgiving of 2019 (I was almost 19 at the time), I don’t remember why, but I started wondering why I didn’t particularly like being called a “young woman” or “young lady”. That same day I took a bunch of gender quizzes and started questioning my gender. So I began to experiment with they/them pronouns and looked at gender-neutral names to try. I came out to my dad and sister, and then to my mom. All of them were accepting of me, thankfully. Since then I’ve gone through at least several other names, and my gender has slowly leaned more and more towards male-leaning. Right now I consider myself a nonbinary trans guy. Thinking about possible signs in my youth, I don’t think there were all that many, to be honest. I remember pretending to have a twin brother named “Bob” and pretending to be him by wearing a fake mustache. I also remember once really liking the name “Richard” for some reason or other. Sometimes my dad tells me that there was one point when I was little at which I asked him if it was okay for me to like things like trains even though I was a girl. I remember once asking a friend of mine if I “still seemed like a tomboy” in maybe like middle school? I don’t remember when it was. But when I was younger, either people called me tomboyish and I liked it or I asked people if they thought I was a tomboy because I was looking for validation. I don’t remember which one it was. I think I also have a vague memory of feeling uncomfortable the first time I felt my chest jiggle as I walked down the stairs one day, though I feel like a lot of people with breasts probably felt that same way when they first started growing for them. …Okay, so maybe there were a few signs. Tbh, I feel mostly neutral about my chest, but I do want to get top surgery one day, because I think that would give me euphoria. Also, I’m currently microdosing testosterone gel! Hopefully I’ll actually start noticing some changes soon, lmao. But anyway, yeah, that’s my experience.
Same about puberty, but it was male puberty. Turns out I'm bigender but that's also not on either end of the gender binary, more clustered around the middle 70% or so. I'll just go with the cliff notes since getting here was long and complex. I never thought of myself as a boy, just as a kid. I was constantly being told you have to do x /wear y /act in a certain way because I was a boy and I didn't understand why. Later, not cis came first then being pulled mentally in the opposite direction whenever I tried to exclude boyness or girlness to some degree. It took a while to get that I can be both.
I don't know why it still surprises me that I have so many of the same experiences as other nb ppl. I've identified as nb for like 9 months now. The sheer relief I feel now I know I don't have to continue living as a man is insane. Cool to hear you felt the same way
hey Lynn. Thank you. Specially for your always supporting attitude. For being able of telling your story transparently. And for making me feeling that everything is gonna be ok. I feel I can continue exploring about me thanks to your videos. I wish you success about the surgery.
I had questioned my gender identity for years but I didn't fit the description of being a transwoman and so I felt frustrated never finding a satisfactory answer. My egg cracked when I watched a livestreamer play Harvestella. She happened to idle on the pronoun selection menu to talk to her chat. I was drawn to the they/them pronouns option and I didn't understand why at the time. Shortly after, I found Jammidodger and OneTopic's trans meme videos, and those lead me to egg_IRL. After revisting the subreddit a few times I said to myself "No cis person would call egg_IRL their favorite subreddit." I started identifying as nonbinary on 20 November 2022, as a giant middle finger to the Club Q shooter.
thank you Lynn for sharing your story with us 💖 I cried a bit watching this video cause I relate to some of the things you said 🥲 I’m aroace and I identify as demi-girl, but I really hate when people see me as a gender… it makes me so sad… I wish they could just see me as a person, not my gender 😔 but it’s hard cause people find me attractive because I’m “feminine” and I don’t like that… I also LOVE when people use they/them to refer to me!!! 😍🥰 unfortunately happens mostly online but that’s why I love having online friends that like me for who I am and not how I look
Don’t know if I’m enby or not, I’ve been living that way with my friends for a while but I doubt myself cause I never had the kind of dysphoria other people had, it just makes me more comfortable I guess is how I’d explain it. Trying to get better at remembering that it’s the fact that it does make me feel better that matters and to be thankful no extreme dysphoria. Basically gender is complicated and I’d like to return mine and not deal with it
met an LGBT group of friends and got non binary friends, I started questioning. i am from a religious family but never fit with girls. i suspected some neurodiverce that make me diffreten and still do, but never questioned my gender because I didn't know I could. I'm 29 I was 27 when I met them, 28 when I started questioning, and non binary fits. maybe gender nonconforming at least, I'm still exploring, but definitely don't identify 100 as girl, and I'm a not a boy even thou sometimes I would like that just to make me different from a girl. so I am still in my discovery, I go by nonbinary, luckily don't suffer such gender dysphoria, don't have a girly body, hated to be fat but loved it that wasn't one skinny girl I don't like it. i don't want top surgery, maybe use binders sometimes because I've had gender euphoria fo how I dress the last year. i wanna move to a society that accepts this and away from my parents so I can explore more, but here is difficult to do it and sometimes regret saying I'm nonbinary just because @its wrong@. be a girl that never fits and don't like girl stuff... i wont be happy but wont be living in sin.... idk its crazy idea, I need a new and safe environment,
You know that there is a term called Andygonous, and it describes a state where both male and female behaviors and visual aspects are mixed? There are no genders outside the male/female spectrum, only ideologies. Also, please bear in mind that children are not inherently religious, and living in a strict religious family, where gender norms are strictly described, may cause some issues with expressing yourself at a young age, but by suppressing it, there are unseen consequences now.
If you're uncomfortable with society's expectations of you, isn't that society's problem with sterotypical gender roles and not a you-are-trans thing? Also, just because you're uncomfortable with your body doesn't mean that you're trans, right? Because I often don't like my appearance and how my chest looks and feels but that doesn't make me trans? Also, is there any logical reasoning or scientific proof that nonbinary exists? (No, I'm not trying to be rude this is a legitimate question, also before you tell me to search it up yes I have searched it up and nothing I find makes sense so I'm wondering if someone here could explain what is means to be non-binary to me.) (Also, every time I ask this question people mostly either call me transphobic or say 'I exist so nonbinary must exist.' ...I am asking an actual question and looking for an actual answer right now. Thank you!)
Still questioning if I am non-binary. My first inkling was a discussion at age 10 about the "psychological" differences between men/women. Had a few incidents in my teens were I did not understand the reason for some gender roles. Like in a dance production the 2 boys were isolated from the girl's change room for some reason. In an another incident I tried to physically retaliate against a girl about my size and was held back by the people around me (I had assumed the rule against hitting women was due to relative size differences)..
I knew I was Nonbinary a year ago from looking deep into research on what I am and when I looked up Nonbinary it sounded like me I go by they them and theirs pronouns
Please, define physical and mental traits unique for a non-binary person, ones that are not a male or female, because a male and female mix is called Andrygonous.
What did it for me was hearing that it was okay to refer to myself as nonbinary. My hesitation was due to internalized transmedicalism, and feeling like I was appropriating the lived experiences of real trans people. I had to be told that's not possible, because I'm not a mind reader, and I can't make myself think or feel the same way as a complete stranger. So if you know about and understand the concept of nonbinary, and you feel more comfortable referring to yourself as such, that's the only sign you really need.
Sweetheart lynn you are beautiful and valid person love you're video's you deserve to be and will always be included in society love you're lynn you are always you and you are perfect the way you are i really look up to you you are a very intelligent beautiful person
So I kind of have some questions. I've been on and off questioning my gender for a couple months now. I'm thinking that I might be non-binary but I'm not sure. For reference I've never really had dysphoria before and have never given gender much of a thought. I grew up without knowing about the LGBTQ+ community like, at all. Not a homophobic or transphobic environment thankfully, just one where I wasn't taught about it. However, lately I've been feeling more uncomfortable with being perceived as only female. I kind of want to be seen as a boy, but I also want to be a weird mix of both feminine and masculine. I want people to start using they/them pronouns for me more than she/her but I also wouldn't mind he/him pronouns. Granted using he/him pronouns for me personally is still pretty weird- But I want people to see me and not be able to tell if I'm a boy or girl. I want to be seen as a random individual who has no gender. So does any of this relate to being non-binary or is it something else entirely? Lol
yeah there’s a fair chance you’re nb. usually when it’s a cis lady wondering about their gender, they talk exclusively about their experience with not being feminine enough or not meeting the ideal for womanhood. talking about wanting to be seen as a boy/girl or androgynous or a different gender at all is a pretty trans thing to do. my advice it to test out different things. mainly social stuff with pronouns and clothes. if you experiment, you can start to get a feel for what feels like you and what feels more forced. it’s true for the external stuff but works for labels too. you don’t have to have yourself completely figured out, don’t rush yourself into finding an identity, that’s something you’ll know with time. anyways, best of luck❤
For me I was okay with being called a guy or a man, and I feel very masculine, but I'm not a cis man or a trans woman. And I'm still okay with being referred to as a man or something like that, but I'm not exclusively a man. I don't like being referred to as a woman or think of myself as a woman. For me I'm still Christian, and will always be. Jesus loves me because I'm being who He wants me to be, and that's all I need. I don't need the approval of people. Even if it's church leaders.
I didn't always know that I am nonbinary. And in fact, when I first heard the term, I didn't understand it. But when I listened to friends who identify as nonbinary and I did more research on it I realized that I was always nonbinary in a way.
Back when I was little I was a girly girl and as a teenager I went back and forth to being girly and started dressing more like a boy becoming a tomboy. Then by the time, I started growing breasts I had to start wearing bras which felt very uncomfortable for me! I tried avoiding that just by wearing baggy clothes to hide my breasts, however I was pretty luckily that my breasts never got any bigger. Not sure how to explain it but when I reached adulthood they were kinda big but yet very small and flat and not normal looking so people mistaking my gender and it bothered me at first until I discovered Nonbinary! I felt like that fit me perfectly! 😊💛🤍💜🖤
I came out as nonbinary five days ago, I changed my name and pronouns online and I get so much euphoria. I don’t have too much dysphoria but I get so excited when my friends use my correct pronouns and new name. ❤
Congratulations! That's such a good feeling. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, Lynn. And I have to say, as an agender person that grew up in a very homo and transphobic religious southern family, I can relate to so much of this. Though I don't think I always knew I wasn't a boy or girl, I do remember not quite feeling like I belong in either category. But I wasn't taught that I could be anything other than a boy, so I kinda just put up with it. When it came to dysphoria, I would tell myself things like 'oh, it's okay. Your voice isn't *that* masculine' and 'you're a boy. Your shoulders are *supposed* to be like that.' And when I ever wanted to do or wear something that wasn't deemed 'appropriate' for boys to wear, I would just bury the feelings, attempt to deny to myself that I ever felt that way. Honestly it was largely because I wanted to be the 'good boy' my parents expected me to be. But now, at the age of 23, I finally know what I am and who I want to be, and I partially have you to thank for that. So thank you, Lynn. 🧡💛🤍💙🖤💚🖤
You didn't know you weren't a boy or girl. You were a boy all along. Boys with gender dysphoria are still boys. And now you are a man.
Good for you 😊
That's good to hear
I have a question What are your pronouns?
@@AldinRamic My pronouns are they/them.
@owli-wankenobi3727 thank you for answering!
This reminds me of the story of me finding out that I'm genderfluid: There is this book series called Magnus Chase, which has a character named Alex. They're genderfluid and the moment I read about that character I thought: wow, that could really fit me! But for some weird reason my 15-year-old self thought that the author had just made that identity up😅and then it made me so happy finding out that that identity was real
I was also raised afab mormon. I don't remember ever thinking or asking "why am I a girl/why am I not a boy" but I had other things going on that made it so I didn't even consider thinking outside of the structures the church put in front of me. But I WAS feeling uncomfortable. Not recognizing myself as I grew up. *Needing* gender to be a core part of my identity and just leaning into the way the church taught it and ignoring my discomfort and what I actually WANTED until I had a baby as an adult. After being an adult I distinctly kept feeling like "i don't relate to womanhood. I feel like a have a weird relationship with womanhood. It doesnt *fit* me". When I deconstructed the family proclammation I said out loud "I don't have to do this gender thing? It's all made up???" The RELIEF was imcredible.
It's been SO HELPFUL to learn about nonbinary folks, especially who come from mormonism. It's hard to separate out the church's influence on my sense of self.
You wondered why you were a girl? Biology class should have cleared that up. But the fact that you think sex is assigned at birth suggests maybe you didn't get to that bit.
@@SeaBreeze-w9999 you clearly didn't read my comment
Same here!! Especially the bit about not connecting well to womanhood after pregnancy. I’m glad for me, being nonbinary makes more space for that experience ❤❤❤ thanks for sharing!
@@hannahdunford703 You are connected to womanhood, by being an adult female human
@@SeaBreeze-w9999 "David Reimer was a Canadian man raised as a girl following medical advice and intervention after his penis was severely injured during a botched circumcision in infancy.
The psychologist John Money oversaw the case and reported the reassignment as successful and as evidence that gender identity is primarily learned. The academic sexologist Milton Diamond later reported that Reimer's realization that he was not a girl occurred between the ages of 9 and 11 years and that he was living as a male by the age of 15. Well known in medical circles for years anonymously as the "John/Joan" case, Reimer later went public with his story to help discourage similar medical practices. He killed himself at age 38."
John Money tried to forcibly trans a cis person and it didn't work. Gender identity is real and even cis people can have one.
i spent 2 years playing dnd then realised all my characters are nonbi, i prefer to keep their gender blurry, and i got very uncomfortable when i was asked about their gender. and that's how i discover my onw nonbi-ness😂
then i started to play all sorts of characters who were nothing alike myself, then i found somehow they are all aroace and i got extremely uncomfortable when npcs flirt or try to flirt with my character...
Same here, i had/have a lot of adrodynous guys as chsracters and one day you realise "oh, so that's why i play flamboyant bards and warlocks"
Thank you for sharing! 💛🤍💜🖤 I've been identifying as aroace for the past decade (which honestly is a lot to unpack) and it was only recently that I started thinking about gender. I grew up in the south where there were (and still are) rigidly defined gender roles which I was never really comfortable with, nor understood entirely. I currently identify as agender, my pronouns are she/they, I'm keeping my (feminine) name, I'm not looking to socially or medically transition, and any or all of this could change tomorrow. Thanks again and take care! 🙂
Hey, another agender southerner!
Not identifying with gender roles doesn't mean you are anything other than a woman.
thank you for your videos. I'm just starting this journey at 50.
At your age I'd think you'd know better
@@SeaBreeze-w9999self discovery has no age cap
@@ummok5316 "Self-discovery" lmao
Best of luck on your journey, its never too late to start it.
I'm starting this journey in my mid thirties! It's never too late to understand yourself better. ❤
I always thought being androgynous was so nice. Then I realized gendering things is a scam. And then someone told me I sound nonbinary.
My experience is a little different. I used to associate all my dysphoria with being neurodivergent. I’m 35 married for 8 years and a parent. It was only recently that I started to untangle everything. I first heard the term nonbinary a few years ago and sorry to say it rubbed me the wrong way at first. When my sister in laws child came out as nonbinary a few years ago I felt like I was losing a niece. Found myself thinking oh it’s just a phase. I thought my own gender dysphoria was something I would have to learn to live with and tried not to acknowledge it for what it was. Fast forward to last fall I was feeling dysphoria that I could not pin down because it had nothing to do with my neurodivergence and I found myself thinking maybe in another life I could be born as a girl but I don’t completely feel like a woman or a man. Then came my epiphany moment. That’s exactly what nonbinary is. All the dysphoria melted away in an instant leaving a clear and silent mind. It was frankly staggering. There are plenty of signs over the years when I really think about it. I never realized I was feeling gender dysphoria because I associated all feelings of dysphoria with being autistic when it was more complicated than that. I started going by Wren he/him pronouns last month and nearly everyone in my circle who I’ve confided with has been accepting. I watched Lynn’s video about demiboys and felt like that fit because I feel male part of the time but do not identify with masculinity.
Hello! Love your vids and live streams! Also I cut off my hair a couple days ago lol, I love my new short hair!
Thank you so much! And congrats on getting your hair cut!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story
Nonbinary identities are in fact not valid
thank you for sharing your story and experiences. it can be really helpful for people questioning their gender
What would really be helpful to people questioning their gender is to be told to stop, it's nonsense.
Thanks for sharing your story here! I'm a couple decades older than you, same church, similar feelings, but still active with a family. Working on figuring this all out and making space for myself and others from within the organization. Keep being yourself!
Thank you for sharing your story. Figuring out you are enby is one of the hardest things because it's so hard to even know it exists (also because I was born in the 80s so I did not even learn enby was a thing for a large part of my life). Congrats on getting through all of this an getting to live as yourself! Also in your case you were raised in a very gendered religion which makes it even harder.
Hello, Lynn. For a bit more than two years I identified as a transgender man. I'm now past that period of my life, and I guess I'm what you would call a "cisgender woman". I watched the whole video because I genuinely wish to understand the experiences of others, but I've noticed that your story and mine are similar. Not the same, of course, particularly because I didn't grew up in a very religious environment. But for the rest of what you said, I could relate so I'm trying to get what about this described experience makes it non binary.
First, I was sooo uncomfortable with my breast growing too. I'm now fairly okay with it, I can't say I spend much time thinking about it. But when I was little I hated the idea of it growing and I was afraid that it was going to be huge and heavy and I wanted nothing to do with that. I used to think this was a very unique experience (shared mostly by trans identified people, which is one of the things that made me question my gender), but I found out a lot of women (born and raised women, I mean) feel in a similar way. Puberty sucks for nearly everybody, I think. It's a tough time, especially when, as you said, you start being treated differently according to your sex.
You said you saw how the boys were treated and how the girls were and wanted neither of those treatmeants. Well, doesn't everybody? When boys are told they can't cry and have to be tough and girls are told they need to be nice and grateful, I doubt it makes any of them happy. What I heard you describing sounded like you refusing social roles imposed on yourself, but please correct me if I'm wrong.
Second, I had troubles understading when for you the incrongruence (or 'dysphoria') wasn't about "A young woman who didn't conform to beauty standards", but it was rather “A matter of my body not looking like the way I feel inside”.
But if how you feel inside is non binary then how does that internal feeling translate in how you want your body to look like? And also, doesn’t it go against the logic of “whatever my body looks like is a non binary body because I am non binary”?
Why the need to change it, then?
The final thing that left me confused was that you concluded the video saying that "gender is everything, and it is everywhere" and immediately after that you said "gender is a social construct and we shouldn't take it too seriously"...which one is it, it's everything or it's not to be taken seriously?
I know this comment is very long, but I'd be thankful if you or someone else who identifies as non binary took the time to respond to my questiones. I went from very confidently identyfing as trans to being gender critical and honestly I'd like to find some middle ground between those too.
This is the reason I'm partially non-binary ✌️
I didn't fit into many gender roles as a kid. Still don't as an adult 🏳️🌈
Now PARTIALLY non-binary is a thing?
Lmao
@@SeaBreeze-w9999 Yes that's where She/They comes from. A lot of famous people have She/They, He/They, They/He pronouns 😅
Correct me if I'm wrong but Ellis(Lynn's sibling) is partially non binary too with He/They pronouns. ❤
@@kaseyford1490 Bizarre
@@SeaBreeze-w9999 Not really. Non binary doesn't mean slap bang in the middle between man and woman. Gender is a spectrum
I felt, and still feel, the same as you at puberty. I never heard of NB until recently...it's never too late 💗
I was raised SDA (Seventh-Day Adventist), but I’ve been an agnostic atheist since some point during my high school years. During Thanksgiving of 2019 (I was almost 19 at the time), I don’t remember why, but I started wondering why I didn’t particularly like being called a “young woman” or “young lady”. That same day I took a bunch of gender quizzes and started questioning my gender. So I began to experiment with they/them pronouns and looked at gender-neutral names to try. I came out to my dad and sister, and then to my mom. All of them were accepting of me, thankfully. Since then I’ve gone through at least several other names, and my gender has slowly leaned more and more towards male-leaning. Right now I consider myself a nonbinary trans guy. Thinking about possible signs in my youth, I don’t think there were all that many, to be honest. I remember pretending to have a twin brother named “Bob” and pretending to be him by wearing a fake mustache. I also remember once really liking the name “Richard” for some reason or other. Sometimes my dad tells me that there was one point when I was little at which I asked him if it was okay for me to like things like trains even though I was a girl. I remember once asking a friend of mine if I “still seemed like a tomboy” in maybe like middle school? I don’t remember when it was. But when I was younger, either people called me tomboyish and I liked it or I asked people if they thought I was a tomboy because I was looking for validation. I don’t remember which one it was. I think I also have a vague memory of feeling uncomfortable the first time I felt my chest jiggle as I walked down the stairs one day, though I feel like a lot of people with breasts probably felt that same way when they first started growing for them.
…Okay, so maybe there were a few signs.
Tbh, I feel mostly neutral about my chest, but I do want to get top surgery one day, because I think that would give me euphoria. Also, I’m currently microdosing testosterone gel! Hopefully I’ll actually start noticing some changes soon, lmao. But anyway, yeah, that’s my experience.
You're still a woman though.
Why would you get risky surgery if you felt neutral about it?
Nice vid :D also very relatable
discovering I am non binary when was 21 and I definitely asexual in high school and thank you for sharing that history, Lynn you are the best ❤
Same about puberty, but it was male puberty. Turns out I'm bigender but that's also not on either end of the gender binary, more clustered around the middle 70% or so.
I'll just go with the cliff notes since getting here was long and complex.
I never thought of myself as a boy, just as a kid.
I was constantly being told you have to do x /wear y /act in a certain way because I was a boy and I didn't understand why.
Later, not cis came first then being pulled mentally in the opposite direction whenever I tried to exclude boyness or girlness to some degree. It took a while to get that I can be both.
I don't know why it still surprises me that I have so many of the same experiences as other nb ppl. I've identified as nb for like 9 months now. The sheer relief I feel now I know I don't have to continue living as a man is insane. Cool to hear you felt the same way
hey Lynn. Thank you. Specially for your always supporting attitude. For being able of telling your story transparently. And for making me feeling that everything is gonna be ok. I feel I can continue exploring about me thanks to your videos. I wish you success about the surgery.
I had questioned my gender identity for years but I didn't fit the description of being a transwoman and so I felt frustrated never finding a satisfactory answer. My egg cracked when I watched a livestreamer play Harvestella. She happened to idle on the pronoun selection menu to talk to her chat. I was drawn to the they/them pronouns option and I didn't understand why at the time. Shortly after, I found Jammidodger and OneTopic's trans meme videos, and those lead me to egg_IRL. After revisting the subreddit a few times I said to myself "No cis person would call egg_IRL their favorite subreddit." I started identifying as nonbinary on 20 November 2022, as a giant middle finger to the Club Q shooter.
I used to have frequent disphoric nightmares until I started identifying with the opposite gender.
thank you Lynn for sharing your story with us 💖 I cried a bit watching this video cause I relate to some of the things you said 🥲
I’m aroace and I identify as demi-girl, but I really hate when people see me as a gender… it makes me so sad… I wish they could just see me as a person, not my gender 😔 but it’s hard cause people find me attractive because I’m “feminine” and I don’t like that…
I also LOVE when people use they/them to refer to me!!! 😍🥰 unfortunately happens mostly online but that’s why I love having online friends that like me for who I am and not how I look
Hey I'm a aroace demigirl too
@@LunarMoonKitten "demigirl" lmao
Don’t know if I’m enby or not, I’ve been living that way with my friends for a while but I doubt myself cause I never had the kind of dysphoria other people had, it just makes me more comfortable I guess is how I’d explain it. Trying to get better at remembering that it’s the fact that it does make me feel better that matters and to be thankful no extreme dysphoria. Basically gender is complicated and I’d like to return mine and not deal with it
met an LGBT group of friends and got non binary friends, I started questioning. i am from a religious family but never fit with girls. i suspected some neurodiverce that make me diffreten and still do, but never questioned my gender because I didn't know I could. I'm 29 I was 27 when I met them, 28 when I started questioning, and non binary fits. maybe gender nonconforming at least, I'm still exploring, but definitely don't identify 100 as girl, and I'm a not a boy even thou sometimes I would like that just to make me different from a girl. so I am still in my discovery, I go by nonbinary, luckily don't suffer such gender dysphoria, don't have a girly body, hated to be fat but loved it that wasn't one skinny girl I don't like it. i don't want top surgery, maybe use binders sometimes because I've had gender euphoria fo how I dress the last year. i wanna move to a society that accepts this and away from my parents so I can explore more, but here is difficult to do it and sometimes regret saying I'm nonbinary just because @its wrong@. be a girl that never fits and don't like girl stuff... i wont be happy but wont be living in sin.... idk its crazy idea, I need a new and safe environment,
You know that there is a term called Andygonous, and it describes a state where both male and female behaviors and visual aspects are mixed?
There are no genders outside the male/female spectrum, only ideologies.
Also, please bear in mind that children are not inherently religious, and living in a strict religious family, where gender norms are strictly described, may cause some issues with expressing yourself at a young age, but by suppressing it, there are unseen consequences now.
If you're uncomfortable with society's expectations of you, isn't that society's problem with sterotypical gender roles and not a you-are-trans thing?
Also, just because you're uncomfortable with your body doesn't mean that you're trans, right? Because I often don't like my appearance and how my chest looks and feels but that doesn't make me trans?
Also, is there any logical reasoning or scientific proof that nonbinary exists?
(No, I'm not trying to be rude this is a legitimate question, also before you tell me to search it up yes I have searched it up and nothing I find makes sense so I'm wondering if someone here could explain what is means to be non-binary to me.)
(Also, every time I ask this question people mostly either call me transphobic or say 'I exist so nonbinary must exist.' ...I am asking an actual question and looking for an actual answer right now. Thank you!)
Still questioning if I am non-binary.
My first inkling was a discussion at age 10 about the "psychological" differences between men/women.
Had a few incidents in my teens were I did not understand the reason for some gender roles. Like in a dance production the 2 boys were isolated from the girl's change room for some reason. In an another incident I tried to physically retaliate against a girl about my size and was held back by the people around me (I had assumed the rule against hitting women was due to relative size differences)..
Don’t waste your time, non-binary is a stupid concept
I knew I was Nonbinary a year ago from looking deep into research on what I am and when I looked up Nonbinary it sounded like me I go by they them and theirs pronouns
You thought you were nonbinary, but actually nonbinary is nonsense.
Please, define physical and mental traits unique for a non-binary person, ones that are not a male or female, because a male and female mix is called Andrygonous.
What did it for me was hearing that it was okay to refer to myself as nonbinary. My hesitation was due to internalized transmedicalism, and feeling like I was appropriating the lived experiences of real trans people. I had to be told that's not possible, because I'm not a mind reader, and I can't make myself think or feel the same way as a complete stranger. So if you know about and understand the concept of nonbinary, and you feel more comfortable referring to yourself as such, that's the only sign you really need.
It’s not OK, it’s stupid
Thanks for sharing
Sweetheart lynn you are beautiful and valid person love you're video's you deserve to be and will always be included in society love you're lynn you are always you and you are perfect the way you are i really look up to you you are a very intelligent beautiful person
I stil dont understand the non-binary : maybe i will understand later. but respect you
Perhaps you don't understand it because it is nonsense all the way down
Thank you for respecting your fellow humans. ❤
Not everyone is that mature.
@@courtneyisaseagull It’s not a matter of maturity as it’s YOUNG people who are more willing to play along with this stuff.
8:41 I can cry for you. ❤ ❤ ❤
same :) But I do wanna stay a girl
So I kind of have some questions.
I've been on and off questioning my gender for a couple months now. I'm thinking that I might be
non-binary but I'm not sure. For reference I've never really had dysphoria before and have never given gender much of a thought. I grew up without knowing about the LGBTQ+ community like, at all. Not a homophobic or transphobic environment thankfully, just one where I wasn't taught about it. However, lately I've been feeling more uncomfortable with being perceived as only female. I kind of want to be seen as a boy, but I also want to be a weird mix of both feminine and masculine. I want people to start using they/them pronouns for me more than she/her but I also wouldn't mind he/him pronouns. Granted using he/him pronouns for me personally is still pretty weird- But I want people to see me and not be able to tell if I'm a boy or girl. I want to be seen as a random individual who has no gender.
So does any of this relate to being non-binary or is it something else entirely? Lol
yeah there’s a fair chance you’re nb. usually when it’s a cis lady wondering about their gender, they talk exclusively about their experience with not being feminine enough or not meeting the ideal for womanhood. talking about wanting to be seen as a boy/girl or androgynous or a different gender at all is a pretty trans thing to do.
my advice it to test out different things. mainly social stuff with pronouns and clothes. if you experiment, you can start to get a feel for what feels like you and what feels more forced. it’s true for the external stuff but works for labels too. you don’t have to have yourself completely figured out, don’t rush yourself into finding an identity, that’s something you’ll know with time.
anyways, best of luck❤
@@babs_babs Thank you!!!! 🫶
I use they tham she her
For me I was okay with being called a guy or a man, and I feel very masculine, but I'm not a cis man or a trans woman. And I'm still okay with being referred to as a man or something like that, but I'm not exclusively a man. I don't like being referred to as a woman or think of myself as a woman. For me I'm still Christian, and will always be. Jesus loves me because I'm being who He wants me to be, and that's all I need. I don't need the approval of people. Even if it's church leaders.
And honestly my faith in God is stronger as a result.
I didn't always know that I am nonbinary. And in fact, when I first heard the term, I didn't understand it. But when I listened to friends who identify as nonbinary and I did more research on it I realized that I was always nonbinary in a way.
Back when I was little I was a girly girl and as a teenager I went back and forth to being girly and started dressing more like a boy becoming a tomboy. Then by the time, I started growing breasts I had to start wearing bras which felt very uncomfortable for me! I tried avoiding that just by wearing baggy clothes to hide my breasts, however I was pretty luckily that my breasts never got any bigger. Not sure how to explain it but when I reached adulthood they were kinda big but yet very small and flat and not normal looking so people mistaking my gender and it bothered me at first until I discovered Nonbinary! I felt like that fit me perfectly! 😊💛🤍💜🖤