How Childhood Emotional Abuse Affects You In Adult
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Ever wondered how childhood emotional abuse shapes who we become as adults? In this video, we're diving deep into this important topic, unpacking how those tough experiences from our past can affect our lives today and in adulthood.
From understanding the lingering effects of childhood trauma to discovering ways to heal and grow, we're here to guide you through it all with a friendly chat and some helpful insights.
Let's have a heartfelt discussion about abuse, trauma, and the path to reclaiming your joy in the comments. Hit that subscribe button for more uplifting content on overcoming life's challenges and finding your inner strength!
#childhoodtrauma #trauma #mentalhealth #cptsd
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Rebecca Chu
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services - Children’s Bureau (2020). “Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).” Retrieved 28 April 2020 from www.childwelfare.gov/topics/preventing/preventionmonth/resources/ace/
Trickett, P. K., Kim, K., & Prindle, J. (2011). Variations in emotional abuse experiences among multiply maltreated young adolescents and relations with developmental outcomes. Child abuse & neglect, 35(10), 876-886.
Reyome, N. D. (2019). Childhood emotional maltreatment and later intimate relationships: Themes from the empirical literature. In The Effect of Childhood Emotional Maltreatment on Later Intimate Relationships (pp. 224-242). Routledge.
Mental Health Center at Destination Hope. "How Childhood Trauma Affects Us as Adults." Retrieved from www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-childhood-trauma-affects-adult-relationships/
Yates, T. M. (2007). The developmental consequences of child emotional abuse: A neurodevelopmental perspective. Journal of Emotional Abuse, 7(2), 9-34.
Thomas, S. P., & Hall, J. M. (2008). Life trajectories of female child abuse survivors thriving in adulthood. Qualitative health research, 18(2), 149-166.
Allen, B. (2008). An analysis of the impact of diverse forms of childhood psychological maltreatment on emotional adjustment in early adulthood. Child Maltreatment, 13(3), 307-312.
It's heartbreaking that we're still struggling with trauma that we experienced in childhood. Although the scars of emotional abuse aren't as visible as physical abuse, it's still no less damaging.
It's okay brother 👥 god with you ❤️
It’s unfair. We need to do double the work of someone who didn’t live anything like this to respect ourselves and accept love and overall have healthy relationships
HA! I'm still BREEZING through life with complete and total GIZFNZ that I experienced in childhood. For those of you who don't know (and probably NEVER will, LOSERS), gizfnz is the complete OPPOSITE of trauma, basically when you are HEALED BEYOND MAXIMUM HEALTH, to the point where you are BETTER THAN EVER WAS POSSIBLE BEFORE. Anyways, EMOTIONAL GIZFNZ has made me MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN YOU ALL! *SUCK IT, LOSERS!*
one of the most common and severe (in some cases) forms of child abuse is exposure to family violence
@@alanahleggett8498yes.
It's more heartbreaking when you are still facing that trauma from your parents and u can't do anything about it
🧘🏿♀️🧘🏿♀️🧘🏿♀️I fw this comment
HA! All I ever got from MY parents was GIZFNZ (pronounced "jihz-fneez"; the OPPOSITE of trauma). It's just heartFIXING that I'm always COMFORTED by that gizfnz from my parents, and I can do EVERYTHING about all else that comes my way! >:)
I’m 33 and my mom is still trying to hurt me.. any way she can manage.
@@user-rp9ff6ls4qy’know we can see your other comments..? 😂
@@alwaysyouramandaI'm so sorry 😔
Time stamps:
1:39 Anxious attachments
2:43 Stunts your emotional development
3:09 Self-destructive patterns
3:42 Compromises your quality of life
4:12 Higher risk of mental health problems
When I was in hs I lost my friends and felt shut out from everyone. One night I broke down and cried, saying “what’s wrong with me?” Over and over. Not long after my dad took me out to teach me how to drive, despite clearly being in a bad mood. I made a mistake in the mall parking lot and he smacked me in the head and yelled at me. On the way back home he mocked me saying “whats wrong with me” in this whiny tone. I’ll never forget or forgive that. We’re on ok terms now but tbh when I’m around him at my parent’s house I don’t feel like I’m at home and family events now feel more like a chore. I have to dogsit when him and my mom go to Florida and god forbid I say no. When he ran his restaurant up til he retired 2 years ago it was ten times worse, especially when I worked for him. Walking on eggshells is an understatement.
... Incredibly cruel of him.
You are not alone I also felt the same and now those hidden scars got even worse and due to that even the small tiny things scolding , work pressure makes me cry , I can understand that all those scars decreased my confidence but I can't do anything now thats where it hurts like hell
Wow, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Your father sounds like a bully. I find that a lot of bullies have low self-esteem and they take it out on others. I can’t imagine doing that to a child. Especially my own! What was wrong with HIM? 💕😢
It's shit like this my parents used to and still do to me. Then they wonder why I dont talk to them or have a bond with them. Im in hs rn and grades will close soon and Ive seen at least 6 kids crying today which I can only assume is due to the work or the crap they will get from parents
Physical abuse, scolding, and MOCKING you? That's not abuse, that's straight up BULLYING.
Elementary school bullying was the main player here.
Depression has been rough lately and the only way to describe it is like a radio station static as it goes out of range and overlapping thoughts come in with the volume cranked up.
Elementary/Middle School I was bullied along with some of it was done by so called friends.
Anxiety and Depression kept Me from reaching My full potential
So thats why im so bad at school...@@ogvelociraptor205
You are lucky you had nice parents I still have scars
It really isn't for most tho. It's the home life. So many suffer because our parents are trash people who failed.
Middle school bullying taught me to isolate and im not worthy, parents taught me to fend for myself and be independent, my divorce taught me that I don't need love or support from others, however this channel taught me it's okay to be me and help me answer my mental questions, thank you so much!
Good for you! I'm glad that you have found things to learn from your experiences.
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
Great to see you guys talking about her, she changed the game for me.
*May God bless Mrs Mary Theresa Gavin services,she have changed thousands of lives globally.
Hope that me and all people dealing with this can recover
You aren’t alone. Childhood bullying still affects me to this day.
@@user-ld5sb5tq4gI hope you're okay
I NEED HELP BRO I WAS SEXUALLY ASSULTED AS A CHILD 2 TIMES AND ALSO BULLIED
I just recently got slammed by the reality that what my parents called “love” wasnt actually love and that i was raised to believe love and affection was conditional and now that has destroyed every part of my soul and heart and i am struggling to keep going after this realization has completely floored me and i feel stuck in life. So many things i never noticed seem so clear now and even though i know this realization is for the best in the long run part of me wishes i never had it so i could be spared this heart shattering pain crushing down on my entire being. It has put a strain on not only me but my chosen family as well. I never realized before just how bad it was. I just always assumed it wasnt that horrible because others had it worse. This is my PSA to anyone struggling! Just because someone else has it worse does not mean your feelings and trauma are not valid!!!! Stay strong everyone! Gods know im trying to….
I had a similar experience and one thing that helped me when I realized that the love I had been given as a child, if you can call it love, was conditional was to realize that on my end it wasn’t. What I mean is that what I gave was unconditional, and I cling to that. It was true. So I have that, at least. And I tell myself that I have no idea what happened to my parents when they were younger that made them that way. 💕💕
@@whitebirchtarot wow that hit deep on so many new levels that I never thought about.
Since my childhood no one loved me or cared about me except my mother, it all was going about fine until my parents started fighting so much that my mother now became toxic, no one bothers about me even my mother who has anger issues has literally said "why do you even live" 3 times since past half year. Of course I had suicidal thoughts but I don't have courage to do it so here I am living because I was born.
"Here I am living bc I was born" Hits different, that's so relatable you know. But you can do it, it's okay to cut off toxic family members and just cobtinue living/ thriving in your own life. I'm rooting for you dude, and hoping your dreams + peace if mind come true. You got this! 🤠🙌
You are worthy of living, & being cared for, otherwise Allah (God) wouldn’t have placed you on this earth my dear 🫂🫂🫂❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🤍🤍🤍🩵🩵🩵
Thank God you are here and alive! You have a future in front of you :)
You live my life too. I know ur pain 💔
I feel you, my mom yesterday tell me if she found me kill my self or escape from the house and never come back she will never feel sorry
I didn’t do it not because of her but for god i believe on him
Amanda’s voice is like having that reassuring self talk in your mind. We need more of her. She is basically synonymous with Psyh2go 🌱🌱
While I didn't have a particularly rough childhood, I didn't find out till my mid 30's that I had ADHD, Anxiety and Autism. Which knowing that know explains why I had a bad childhood. I struggled with not being normal.
Even if you had good parents and/or friends as a kid, doesn't mean you can't experience trauma. I was diagnosed with ADHD and a panic disorder at 24. At 27 I was then diagnosed with chronic severe depression - and my psychologist told me that some of the trauma I experienced growing up, was due to not being diagnosed and treated for my ADHD. We are constantly overstimulated, tired, stressed. We feel like we're "lazy" for not doing enough, and "stupid" for not being on par with our peers.
Not being "normal", or being neurotypical, isn't a bad thing. ANd it's not your fault. Our brains just work differently. It is hard to be neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, but it's not impossible. Yes, it takes time and a lot of work. But there is help you can get, that makes it easier to handle and manage everyday life. Apps, courses, videos, books. It's not a cure, but it can help a lot in the long run.
My parents still gaslight to verbally abuse me to this day so yeah...worse when it continues to adulthood
Wow that’s frustrating. You being able to recognize this and understand when people mistreat and manipulate you can be a superpower. I don’t know your situation but I trust you’ll be okay.
You’re not alone. My dad’s behavior is getting worse 😢
Yeah it really affects you. I always wondered why I felt so different than everyone else and in adult hood it’s knowing you’ll always be the odd one. Difficult making friends and relationships
Same😢
Sticks and stones can break bones, but words can leave deeper scars. School messed me up as a kid, and I'm now paying for it as an adult
Whoa. I really like your version of that age-old expression. School did a number on me as well, but it was home that really sealed my fate. It meant I had no safe place to go, no one to turn to, with my thoughts or feelings. And, just because I understand certain things a little better now as a grown adult, it does not make any of them any easier to deal with.
I have been consulting "mental health professionals" for *years* to attempt to get help for my mental and emotional challenges. I have not found *one* that was worth my time and considerable money. Any real progress that I've made has been through my own effort.
Yes
What are the problems facing by you
Been there
I was always a lonely child, Kept my emotions to myself and needed to have a parental role and had to go trough abuse almost all the time. Today I am dealing with a lot of mental health issues and struggling in so many aspects of life. I have almost zero self-esteem and have the biggest abandonment issues. I can really feel the effect it had on me today, because I was a master at dissociating as a child, so I was never aware of my own emotions, but I am well aware of some of them today. For years I have isolated myself because people really gave me anxiety (and it dosen't help when it turns out you are autistic as well). I have A LOT to work with, and been trying to for the last decade... Anxiety is an evil that never let me have any peace. But I am doing so much better than I ever had. It's just too much struggles to deal with still, but at least I have a place for the first time in my life that I can truly feel safe!
I hope we all find peace in our life. Life is so cruel and so unfair (or at least the people in it makes it that way), but I have seen good in it too for the past years, which I never thought I would. As a result of all the trauma, I feel deeply for people on an emotional level. I want people around me to feel safe, to feel loved and needed. I don't want anyone to feel unwanted, worthless, missunderstood or alone. Because I know all too well how terrible those feelings are. I really mean it when I say that; I really wouldn't wish that to anyone, even my worst enemy! those thoughts and feelings can literally lead to your death.. So be kind to anyone you can, because you never know what hell it is that they are tormented by.
Those are beautiful and wise words! Kindness is so important. 💕💕
Timespan
1 1:42 anxiously attached
2 2:43 stunts your emotional development
3 3:08 self destructive patterns
4 3:42 compromises your quality of life
5 4:12 higher risk of mental health problems
Timestamps
1). Anxiously attached 1:39
2). It stunts your emotional development 2:42
3). It leads to self destructive patterns 3:07
4). It compromises your quality of life 3:41
5). It puts you at a higher risk of mental health problems 4:12
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thx,an true hero
@@ImMakurAHHnot a problem happy to help
@@A55a551n u welcome,im probably depressed 😅😅
The biggest problem is that my parents think they’re doing the good thing and i can’t change their mind no matter what i do
The worst thing is parents thinking why you're so hostile while they loved you so much. They are the victim you're the perpetrator. And attempts at making them see their mistakes are futile so you're on your own.
I did not have a good childhood it's traumatic all of the school bullying, peer pressure, teasing and mocking me for being single, and my mother abusing me thoughts and memories about the past can be very hard to get rid of.
I have recently discovered I was diagnosed with semi autism when I was younger. Something kept secret from me up until I went fully blind last year (temporarily)
For the 2 months I was blind, that’s ALL I thought about, I was in my head the whole time. Very dangerous place to be. And all I can think about, is how much my father hated me, first memories I have was my father throwing me into the tub, leaving a little lump scarred onto my forehead. Throwing me on the tump bunk if I was crying, and turning off the lights because I was scared of the dark, and leaving me there, and blasted music on his speakers so he couldn’t hear me crying. If I cried for too long, he’d come in “I’ll give you something to cry about, give me your arm. GIVE ME YOUR ARM” and he’d yank it over did I didn’t give it to him. And slap it as hard as he could.
My sister was born “normal” and was “daddies little girl”
I won’t forget this. EVER forget it, when he left the family for a hooker, that he’s now since married, had 4 kids with, and now recently divorced. My sister said to me “it’s your fault dad left us”
I was 5 and a half years old man. I didn’t ask to be born the way I was. My mother also took the abuse for it because he also blamed her for my “imperfections”
I never understood what it is that I have until last year. At the worst of times since I was blind. Now it all makes sense.
I wish I could see my 5 year old self right now at the age I am (24) and say to him “it’s not your fault”
I’ve recently shared this story with someone for the first time, now finally going into counselling for the trauma I been stuck with
Honestly my childhood wasn't that bad, I just learned to move on despite things can too bad cuz I got used to bottle things up
the algorithm knows me a little too well
Damn you google and your tries to help me
Is this ur first time watching psych to go coz I am subbed.
Also no it's not bcz of ur Google search it's bcz of how yt will compare ur search results with other and ur liked videos and subscriptions.
Once it's finds a group of people who follow the same channel or search the same thing yt thinks what those people watch must be valuable to this guy who hasn't searched it up so let me give a try and reccomend
me, too
Another thing it can do is, it leads to self restriction, or self hate. When you go through abuse and neglect, and you were never allowed to do certain things, later on in life, you start to hate yourself because you are doing the things, even though there’s nothing wrong with doing them. Or it can lead to confusion. One minute, the abuser is telling you to shut up and get over it, and you’re not allowed to express yourself. And another moment, the abuser is forcing you to talk about what’s bothering you. They might say things like, “talking about it will help you to feel better.” Or, “why the hell can’t you just tell me what’s wrong already?! Communicate already!” This can make the person feel confused, and not know what to say. It can make them not love themselves because they have emotions.
LOved to hear from your side!
Words hurt like a fist. I got both fists and anger at 4 years of age and carried the anguish for life. It only went deeper. How much I could have used this as a young man
I think I needed this video a lot, because growing up and having that need for validation in the world, I realised that it actually stemmed from when I was little. The fact that I was never the child that my parents were happy with and told me that I am stupid and they would downplay my achievements.
Just so tired of it to be honest.. And I hate that I need to seek that sense of approval, otherwise I feel like I'm not even needed anywhere in this world ):
It’s very dangerous when we have to seek that sense of approval because I think it turns us into people pleasers. I’m talking about myself of course because I don’t know you. But that’s the way it affected me. I heard this quote recently that really makes sense: if you can’t say no, all your yesses are meaningless. Wow. I’m tired of it, too. You might try to sit down and make a list of all the things you’ve accomplished in your life and they don’t have to be big things, but just anything, and I’ll bet you you’ll come up with more than you think. We all have things to be proud of even if it’s just being kind to someone who needed it or taking care of a stray animal or whatever. Validate yourself! Good luck. I didn’t mean that sarcastically, I mean that honestly. 😊
And its even more heartbreaking followed by a narcissistic relationship break up it resurface all the pain even more like with such intensity that you think you'll tear up into pieces but sadly you survive ahh my soul is tired i wanna go to a peaceful place i don't wanna trust anybody i wanna be in a room with no fear just alone wanna hug myself so closely tightly and sit with all the pain i wanna go from this abusive home im crying and tears rolling down my cheeks god is seeing me and ill be able to achieve my independence and peace from these evil people due to them all i ever got was pain and nothing else
It's been a very long and rough road to arrive where I am. I'm recovering now and I'm not so self destructive. Thank you for making videos like this.
When I was just a baby I was overwhelmed with seizures because I had a brain injury and for years I had to go through every inch of my life till I was about 17-18 years old I dealing with epilepsy and finally at 17 years old going on 18 I had a brain surgery and I have never had a seizure since going on 10 years since the surgery but now I’m dealing with anxiety and depression due to my parents not knowing I was mentally abused by a toxic homeless person and I am on the road to recovery thankfully I know I struggle with my depression but I’m able to tell myself to take a break and put my music on and I relax
Thank you for this content. I'm beginning to grasp that I suffered severe emotional abuse in my childhood that has wreaked havoc in my life as an adult. Never have felt wanted and that I was a burden all my life. I was shunned by peers so badly over being mixed race that I had to be pulled out of school in 4th grade till the end of high school. My grandparents, which my mother and I lived with from the time I was a year old till they passed away when I was 16, had an extremely chaotic, unhealthy relationship. I had a good relationship with my grandmother, but she had her own issues that I may well have picked up. My mother was a single parent who was inconsistent. Sometimes, she was available, but more often than not, she was emotionally unavailable. There were frequent bouts of being emotionally abusive and threatening. She had another child when I was 13 who was the "golden child" being favored heavily. I still live with them because of severe financial difficulties, but am eagerly trying to get on my own. The inability to find any meaningful relationships, especially being interested in guys and encountering even more severe problems around race than I got from those peers who rejected me, and the same emotionally unavailability as my mother had, have reiterated the feelings of worthlessness that I've felt since I was 5 years old. Therapy and medication have been of little help, so I'm lost and increasingly detaching from life itself.
Find a group of people somewhere that you have something in common with. Don’t give up. There are a lot of lost souls out there, but you can sometimes find an interest that will tie you to others that will lead to friendship and support groups. Even if they’re online! The world needs you or you wouldn’t be here. 💕
A friend of mine asked me if I was going to be depressed all my life. She knows I have severe depression and the assorted problems that come with it. But she asked me that and quickly reassured me that she would be my friend no matter what. The question took me aback. I have severe depression. It stems from childhood abuse, the death of my father, bullying, and other things. I feel that I will be depressed for the rest of my life, but that doesn't mean that I will have a bad life. I have a few good days where depression is not felt. But most days, I do feel depressed. This does not stop me from enjoying things. But it does mean that in the quiet times, depression may creep in. I've accepted this. I understand it. And I can work with it. But I will be depressed for the rest of my life. And I am okay with that.
I really had been through when I was young my aunt use to bully me and hit me hard and still hunts me to this day 😭😢
My mother is a perfectionist and a teacher. And naturally i wasn't her ideal daughter. She would yell at me and tell me how i would never succeed in my life and achieve anything I naturally thought whats the point on living anymore. Unaliving myself seems like the only option but im too scared and Im just very tired of it right now
I had a similar mother, get therapy if you can, I’m starting my journey now. Don’t unalive yourself please, your more special and important than you’ll ever know.
@@melaniebenoist9432 Thank you but I went on a spiritual class and I realised how lucky and precious my life is. Best of luck to you too..
My mother :(
❤
Sending hugs ❤
It's okay brother 👥
My dad
same bro ...
Seeing a therapist now and finally recovering from my childhood trauma with depression on the side 😂sorry I know this supposed to be sad but humor helps me lol 😅
😢 Yeah Mine still haunts me to this day. PTSD sprinkled with the Doom despair in the agony of deep dark depression and excessive misery. Just like a baby you got to take everyday one step at a time 🫂✌️. 💨👻
Dad was abusive, mum was neglectful. Now I'm a grown ass adult, but deep down I'll always feel like that scared little kid hiding under the dining table, begging for the shouting to stop
I really hate it when trauma basically starts in the family... 😢
I don't want this to be my personality, and it's so hard to deal with this, because it affects my decisions and behaviors.
Yes. My parents.
This video came right on time!!!🥰👍🏾💯
That’s what I’ve got. Spent decades trying to fix it. No go.
Walked in on my dad attempting suicide by noose when I was barely older than 5 years. This might be the first time I've written/talked about it outside of therapy. I'm trying to understand my mental health these days, since I also have a seizure disorder, and I think traumas like this could be related, but it's hard to definitively say for certain. But for the first time in ages it does feel like I'm trying to experience answers rather than hide myself away from the past.
“Love belongs to the people who feel they are not enough. Love belongs to the kids who grow up wondering why they’re different. Love belongs to the person reading this right now. Love is for everyone.”
- Erin Kingham
“It’s okay to not be perfect and not to have everything figured out. It’s okay to feel things that are shameful, hate, and feel guilty. I feel like the message we’ve tried to stand by, is that it’s basically okay to have scars and to show them. To show that you’ve been through all sorts of things and have come out a different and better person because of it.”
- Hayley Williams
“Many survivors insist they’re not courageous: ‘If I were courageous I would have stopped the abuse.’ ‘If I were courageous, I wouldn’t be scared’… Most of us have it mixed up. You don’t start with courage and then face fear. You become courageous because you face your fear.”
- Laura Davis
I had mom trauma with my mother having anger issues that she would take out on random things like noises, my pets and my family
I can't form meaningful relationships with healthy boundaries. I don't understand love. I was never taught love so how can I do love? I was never touched with anythiny more than anger. I wasn't allowed to cry or talk about my feelings. I was told I shouldn't exist.
So parts of my brain just never grew properly. Attachment theory.... I can't get attached I don't know how and I don't understand why other's need relationships and friends. To me it just seems like unnecessary complications.
So yeah. My attachment is no attachment at all with no emotion tied to it. To me, life just is. I don't desire anything from anyone and am completely satified with myself.
Emotional, physical, sexual abuse. Including neglect and not being touched otherwise. It turned me into an alien. So I just live to spend my life waiting, maybe anticipating the end. Obv I've been diagnosed with ptsd and major attachment issues.
Wow. The most important 5 minute video I’ve ever watched. Thank you.
Amanda is my favourite voice on psych2go. I’ve been listening to her on here for years, she’s so soothing and clear with her delivery 🫶
perfect timing
Same here
The childhood abuse i went through haves devastating trauma when i was an adult it was just killing me it took me a long time to amit that I need help
While this video feels like me, the fear/disorgsnized one, it's not because of what my parents did or didn't do to me. I love them dearly. Its their arguing that i witnessed while growing up. Their arguing bothers me now and I'm 32. I've just learned how to tune it out... my dad loves his family, he was raised in a manner that taught him that depression is another word for sadness. He doesn't act on this though as he knows depression is more than sadness, he just doesn't know what to do about it... my mom suffers from depression for different reasons throughout her life, and seeing that tought him depression is more than sadness...
I’ve been mentally abused and emotionally neglected by my mother’s husband, and when I told my mother once about the terrible things he’s done/said to me, she answered “It’s just his parenting style.”
I’ve been through emotional abuse and gaslight and even more but I feel hopeless like I can’t even do anything about it,if I cry I tell myself to suck it up because that’s what I was always told as a child,I feel anxious and have anxiety when I ask for something feeling like I’m going to get yelled at or something for punishment,I have a lot of self harm thoughts and sometimes I feel like giving in.
For all the commenters who have (and are) experiencing this, I’m so sorry about your experience. Please know that there are ways to work through this. It’s hard and takes a lot of work, time and patience, but it is possible.
4:36
Something was here.
No it doesn't sound weird. Happens to me always too! Even when anyone is so much trusted if they raise their hand in air my reflexive instinct triggers I either step back or cover my face with hands or just prepare myself to take a hit.
So me
If you refuse to get the kids what they need to have in life, then you're a bad human being, because allowing kids to enter the world without having to give them love and respect that they need and deserve and they are not going to learn anything in life or have the social skills on anything.
Perhaps they’re not bad, but just wounded themselves. Although there are certainly some bad parents. Wouldn’t it be nice if people had to pass some kind of a test in order to procreate? I’m not sure how that would work, but sometimes I think it would be helpful.
Its kinda hard to reach out for help when I'm forced by my "family" to stay inside‚ not socialize‚ no going out‚ no proper education‚ no online/irl friends‚ not taking care of medical needs and mental health issues due to "covid" and they "dont want us to get sick" eventhough the virus has died down tremendously.
I'll admit‚ I'm not fine. I know if changes dont happen know it will effect my future. But even if I were able to get help‚ I wouldn't be able to without someone getting in trouble.
I don’t understand why you can’t have online friends or go outside just because of Covid. There are a lot of things you can do.
@@whitebirchtarot yeah.. they say it's because of that but I think it's their (mainly my father since he is the one who enforces those rules) way of being able to "keep control of us" (mothers exact words) and continue their lazy parenting.
They say (and again mainly my father) all we have is "each other" and basically say anyone online is probably CPS or some authority and if you vent or talk about your feelings to them they will take you away.
I'm so sick of that manipulation.. because of that it is causing huge mental problems for me.. and maybe even my siblings..
Thank you for listening to me vent.. I really appreciate it..
I didn't realize the impact that parental neglect had on me until a sibling pointed it out. My parents neglected my hygiene, my hair, my teeth, untreated acne, and let's not forget the fact that I still weigh 110lbs to this day. I'll never look normal again, not how I was meant to if I grew up in a normal home. But the worse part is, no one ever thought to question it. You'd think a teacher might see a kid like me and do something. You'd think someone in my family. Or even a stranger. But then as a kid, you don't always realize that your slowly dying until you're dead, and so it seems like you're okay until you become a smarter teenager.
I once woke up in the middle of the night. With next to my bed my witch mother literaly cursing me and deliberately expressing her passionate hatred towards me. She never saw that I was awake, I pretended to sleep. From there on, the war at home was on.
Oh my Lord. Get out of there if you can.
@@ILoveGod1988 this was when I was 15 years old. I am 35 now. She fled the continent without telling me a word.
I can't solve these issues. They're too deep. I fucking hate my life.
You don’t have to solve anything. Life will bring you what you need to navigate your issues. In the meantime, try helping someone else. It’s good to take your mind off yourself. It might give you something you feel like you want to live for.
You know what the worse part is? some of us are still putting a happy mask in front of friends and family despite still living with the abuser
because we either don't feel save to eveal the abuse or we feel pressured to keep it to ourselves do to family or friends falling for the abuser's fake social mask, and we are afraid that no one believe us anyway.
I've had a very clear thought. Probably the most clear thought I've ever had about myself. I got in an accident that destroyed my femur I grew up with a lot of pain which affected my attitude made me isolate and when I did try to ask for help I was beaten bloody because I was in pain. From then on I've never been able to have any faith trust or Security in anything which means I couldn't ask for help on anything or trust the advice given to me from anything I found myself to be a whining crying useless thing. I stayed that way and digressed till I was 38 to the point where I just didn't want to live anymore but I didn't want to take any active action to do anything about it. I had to make a very clear active choice to try and change and it is not easy when you give into every Indulgence or craving you have. it's like trying to speak a different language without even knowing the sounds. I had to actively hate my behaviors to change them
Could you do one on about Trust issues? I struggle with them a lot especially with expressing my feelings of love to others (excluding my family) and i show significant signs of depression and i neglect my own feelings because i'm too focused on fixing others that I neglect fixing myself and it would be much appreciated if you could ❤
Yes, I would appreciate that, too!
I have a question.
What if the person struggling doesn't want help? If the person struggling doesn't open up because of fear or other things? How can you help them?
Well if this question is for anyone you're trying to help then if they don't want to talk don't push them too much into telling you everything since it could make them stressed when they do.
Just because they don't want to talk doesn't mean you can't help them! You could always go over to their house (if they want you to) and help with some things around the house or even just hang out with them at their house or somewhere they enjoy this can really take there mind off things
When or if they are ever ready to talk you absolutely need to listen and validate what they are going through as people who are scared to seek help sometimes down play their feelings or had someone who has done that to them and has broken their trust. If you want to try to get them to talk so you can help more you could say "I won't judge you and I'll believe you no matter what" but don't push it too much if they say they don't want to or say very little and doesn't want to say anything else respect their wishes
If this person is struggling with their mental health then it may be wise for you to try to convince them (but don't push it as it may make it worse) to tell a trusted adult so they can get the proper help they need. You could also say they don't have to say everything that they are experiencing if they're worried about getting someone in trouble
Just remember that if there's any immediate danger that it's always wise (and sometimes the law) to report it even if they dont want you to. I know it may be hard but it could save a life
@@alexa_editz3276 thank you for your advice! I'll make sure to not push them and I'll try to help them as much as I can.
@@tsukiafton3585 No problem! I wish the best of luck for you and your friend ❤
@@alexa_editz3276 That goes for you and your close ones too! I hope you're doing okay as well !👍🏼
2:40 Yup, I'm fearful disorganised :)
I had emotional and physical abuse from 1 absent parent and 1 narcissistic parent who has no issues beating me whenever he had anger for anything….. I am still seeking therapy to this day since I was 10(school made it mandatory for me to return cause I tried to unalive myself after a teacher was harsh with me along with bullies). I hope if I do end up getting married and having kids, I will not be the parents I had and be the parent they deserve, breaking the cycle of pain and fear. The world is already cruel as is. I’m 28 now.
I juat wanted to let this out since its bothering me a lot. My parents were the greatest gift i could ever have. They never made me feel insecure or anything. Im soon turning 18 and now i feel different. Im constantly worried about being a burden. I feel awkward for the things that i didnt feel anything earlier like asking for more food or even using electricity. I dont know why. I stay awake at night and always overthink. I think about the same things everyone my age is worried about,'not giving my parents what they deserve'. I realised im always aawkward around my parents and it feels bad to ask anything from them.
I'm victim of bullyingand ones Bullied others as a scape goat i dunno my childhood such a cruel to me:(
More Strength tou You ! Keep Shinning
Im honestly over all of it and everything.
The only thing I can say is that it is a 1:1 like a shadow that follows you all the time berating you and pulling you down. It is torment shame and disease all at once. I have to now as an adult try to fix this on my own while I push the boulder up the hill. It is beyond evil it is torture. I can't trust relate or bond with people.
Could you make a video on how to overcome emotional abuse as a child and a video on how to find positive role models to replicate what was missing for u as a child perhaps from ur parents ❤️
When I was a kid, I was constantly bullied at school because I was the only Native American in both predominantly Caucasian and Latino schools. When I would come home if both my parents were sober, they were fine, but I had one that was a raging alcoholic and it ended up killing her, and that was cocaine.
I was constantly gaslit, emotionally, abused, and on the rare occasion physically.
Took almost 20 years but a lot of therapy, moving out on my own and recently Jiujitsu, but I’ve gotten myself into a much better headspace.
Good for you! It’s not easy. I salute you.
@@whitebirchtarotthank you
I’m 33 and running water still makes me anxious.
4:26 Just so cute. So very true :(
There is absolutely no doubt that experiencing childhood trauma-- particularly repetitive traumas-- have far reaching effects into adulthood. How can it not? Our most formative years dictate how we see ourselves and the world around us. It can take a lifetime to deal with and heal from such traumas-- but it IS possible.
Stay strong, friends. You're not alone. ❤
My mom did this to me. By the time i reached 14 i had enough of it. Still I'm suicidal.
Its been 2-3 years since my father divorced my mother and to this day he is trying to kick us out in order to bring in his lovers. While he was with me he verbally attacked me every time he could and caused me minor physical trauma on schoolwork failing and simple mistakes. To this day the only permament damage is him engraving his image into my behaviour/feeling of being abandoned
In childhood it was more like "ever wonder why the punchline to every psychology joke was you?"
I really appreciate the hopeful message towards the end. And the psi sawing the tree branch made me chuckle. 😊
Psych2Go, if you ever see this, i want to ask for advice. I dont believe its common for people my age to be needing therapy (well in my school/life anywyas) but i feel i need to maybe see a therapist to consult my problems, I don't consult to my mother because I dont understand, but i have this fear of asking something from my mother, because I would expect rejection or an answer that is negetive. I tried asking once if she thinks I need a therapist as I am only 13 and she said and quote, "you know, I believe every kid has no problem with them" She was basically saying that if you are a kid with "problems" then you need a therapist, i believe she thinks that therapy is for a child with "problems," but in my eyes, therapy is for children who just needs someone they can trust to not tell anyone about their problems and be able to vent about the things they held onto inside for so long. If anyone responds, i would like to know if I should ask her again for therapy or if you guys can give me advice. Thank you...
Being bullied all my life and not getting help I needed has caused me issues a lot
Hypnotherapy literally saved my life🙏😇❤️
Good! I’ve heard from a friend who tried this and it was very effective!
Thanks for the tip!
I find this very helpful. Thank You.
In the first years of elementary school I was bullied a bit but then it stopped and now me and those people who bullied me are on extremely good terms, but now for some reason I began crying ever since December of 2023, almost at the end of the year. I did stay a while without crying but it came back again and I don't know what to do, and whenever i try to tell someone about the things that happen to me or the things I feel they always stop me in the middle of my explanation and tell me that "eVeRyOnE gOeS tHrOuGh ThAt, StOp OvEr LoOkInG tHiNgS" or "jUsT be PaTiEnT aNd YoU'lL be AlRiGhT"...
I've been patient ever since the start of the year, and the worst part is that my parents are the ones who tell me that and then come to me when I'm crying and tell me "what's wrong?" and when they see that i keep crying without saying a single thing they keep telling me to speak over and over again...
I've already been going through a lot from my perspective, knowing that I have anemia (iron deficiency), vitamin D deficiency and dehydration as health problems and I've been also experiencing shortness of breath that is also accompanied by fast heartbeat or slight pain in my heart. And the worst part is that I don't know how to tell anyone about any of my problems and also i tend to suppress my feelings...
And the thing that saddens me more is when I hear some of my friends or my mom say that they got used to seeing me cry.. If they really wanted to stop me from crying they would have known that they at least comfort me at first since they don't even know anything from what I'm suffering right now
Not to mention at school whenever I'm sitting down and see my other friends talking by themselves I get even more sadder and begin feeling like I'm about to cry, I'm usually sociable and I'm known through my entire class but I just want my problems to go and don't know how to do so by myself...
I don't know why everyone thinks that I'm over reacting by crying almost every day now, I think that they forgot that I'm still a child and not considered an adult or big yet....
I think the emotional abuse I've suffered from my parents has been worse in my adulthood. Maybe it's because I'm starting to try and communicate like a normal adult and they can't reciprocate.
I still fight with the things I dealt with as a child
Thanks mom
I need a video about how disorganized attachment is f** someone's up. Please.
So good
My mother... 😢she affected me so much.
My parents are good parents they really are and I’m glad I have them but…sometimes they just don’t listen to a word I say. it hurts knowing because I’ll purposely say something over and over and over again and only once maybe twice will they actually listen to me. also them trying to keep me safe ended up making me have trust issues and I feel like I shouldn’t talk to anyone or else they my hurt me. I can barely function as a normal human being and I end up being to scared to even get up to ask a question to the teacher. I feel like I can’t talk to any kids either but that had its own reason other than my parents making me have trust issues.
Damn... The title of this one should have my name in it.
but where can someone even find people to talk to, even with all the willpower in the world if someone's stuck in a damaging/abusive place they're gonna be stuck there forever cause no one can suddenly appear in your life to save you and if things around you are preventing you from opening up and healing it's just gonna be a vicious circle, i dont wanna traumadump but it's so frustrating to just see everybody around you succeeding and thriving with the support of loving families and friends when you cant change the past no matter how hard you try, and they could never relate to you if they tried cause they were raised so much differently it sucks
Under 1 min gang❤
woo!!!!
I heard the Mario supershroom sfx, time to release my Mario fan energy
“We can’t be blamed for giving you 3 dads, 3 moms, 6 elementary schools, 6 high schools, never being able to catch up, no assisting of future planning spread over two states 1500 miles apart”..
I am only a preteen and i already am experiencing these things.
That's the truth.
I was severly abuse as school i was bullied vu both other children's and teachers...
I have lot of struggles to trust other even my loved ones (include my pets!)