7 Mind Games Narcissists Use to Manipulate You
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- Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2020
- Narcissists are selfish, self-absorbed, deceitful, and incapable of empathy, but one of the most dangerous things about a narcissist is how easy it can be to fall for them. They’re usually incredibly charming, eloquent, intelligent, and charismatic when you first meet them. But don’t be fooled by the mask they show you - a narcissist’s kindness never lasts. A narcissist will take everything you have to give and demand more without ever giving back anything in return. And the worst part is, they make you want to do it! they're such experts at manipulating people that you may not even realize it when they’re doing it to you! So, we've made this video to expose the common mind games and manipulation tactics narcissists use!
Credits
Writer: Chloe Avanasa
Script Editor: Denise Ding & Kelly Soong
VO: Lily Hu
Storyboarder: Winnie Chen
Animator: Rachel M.
RUclips manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Perez, M. (2019). “The Language Narcissists Use to Manipulate and Traumatize Their Victims.” Journal of Traumatic Stress, 14 (2), 369-389.
Simon, G. (2018). “How to Save Yourself from a Narcissist: Mind Games They Like to Play and How To Use Them in Your Favor.” Journal of Research in Personality, 40, 179-208.
Woods, S. (2019). “7 Cruel Mind Games Narcissists Play on You.” American Journal of Social Psychology, 66 (3); 192-207.
Arabi, S. (2014). “Common Diversion Tactics of Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths.” The British Journal of Psychiatry, 180 (4), 363-368.
Edwards, J. R. (2010). “Sneaky Tools of Narcissistic Manipulation and How to Recognize Them.” Psychology Today, 29 (4); 311-320.
Sarkis, Stephanie A. “11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 22 Jan. 2017, www.psychologytoday.com/ca/bl....
Have you met someone like this?
Yes 😔
Yes but I want to know if people can be circumstantially narcissistic? Like given the position they uphold, will they will tend to gravitate towards narcissistic values to defend that position.
Because if narcissism is a trait, I want to know if it is inherited or as a result of preserving their beliefs and values.
Yes and its my mom
Yes my so called friend
My mom...
A narcissist tries to destroy your life with lies, because theirs can be destroyed with the truth
Can't agree more
And the scary part...it can be anyone, family included. No exceptions
@Mallory Moore run away dear before the damage become worse...
Run for u'r life... They are empty... They will suck the life out of you.
Yep
Mahatma Gandhi moment
If you are with a narcissist you are already alone, don't be afraid to leave.
This.
Omg , im 17 and i wanna move out but im so scared to be “alone”
but the question is how do you leave? I need like a whole team of accountability partners
Harsh truth but very important
You need a therapist!. Write down your thougts in a diary and hide it from the narc or people they controll. 1: sett firm boundarys 2: if that dont work then simply ghost them, you dont need to explain youself. 3: you have a right to your own mental health, this is nothing to « ask for». 4: dont listen to their lies and « storys». 5: read up on co dependency disorder asap!
My biggest advice for anyone dealing with a narcissist. Assume EVERYTHING they say is a lie. Until they can actually prove it. Remember, they love control.
This comment hurt me so much….
But it’s the truth. My now ex who is the father of my child is a narcissist.. I left hun just two days ago and it hurts when you genuinely love them.. but I told him I can’t do it anymore and for him to get better for his baby and himself. I’m trying not to go back even though I want too. But I’m 7 months pregnant and anything can trigger me to go into labor, and his outburst are too much too Handle. It’s best he and I split till he does prove it to me.
@@mommymoves__ put yourself & your babies first! These narcissist abusive "boys" will not change unless they want to, from the inside. I've been stuck in a nightmare of a "relationship " for 2yrs & in planning my leaving. Doesn't matter how many apologies, they keep hurting you. NARCISSIST PPL CAN NOT HAVE CHILDREN. THEY ARE ABUSIVE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. kids need protection & much love so they don't grow up with the parents habits or feeling bad about who they are, etc. Trauma is real. I can't imagine a narcissist who has a "bad day", anything pisses them off, & you add innocent kids into the picture... not good. Please be careful. It's not worth going back because these ppl don't even REALIZE they have a problem. The hurt will continue or get worse. I "believed"the first 50 million apologies. Not worth it. So much manipulation its disgusting in a human. They are not capable of showing empathy. So they can't put themselves in others ppl shoes cuz it's all about "them". So what would happen when the kids have a sad day at school or wutever, they fall from their bike & maybe cry? A narcissist will not show empathy or carrying. Its too much work to pretend to be a decent human being. Yes it's sad we actually loved these ppl. But you have to love yourself FIRST, so you can be in the right mind to be awesome for the little ones. Your mental health is important. You are important. You kids are important. You matter. Everyone else can go kick rocks.
@@mommymoves__ omg i kno it hurt me alot too :*( but maybe its something we needed to hear hun right?
@@mommymoves__ leave him for the sake of yourself and your child. growing up without a "father" is much better than having a narcissistic, self absorbed parent. your child won't have a happy childhood with a parent who can't even their child well. i know you love him, but staying will only make things worse. this relationship will only grow more and more toxic, and it won't be good for you or your child. put you and your child first, these toxic people don't deserve you, because you matter a lot and deserve a partner who's loving, supportive, understanding, caring and unselfish. also, it's been two months, im not sure if you've given birth yet but if you have, i wish you and your baby the best of luck. stay safe and happy, don't make choices you'll come to regret :))
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. He will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then he will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams
I'm going through that right now
Oh my God, yes mine said this, he got alot of money & he ran solid for a year, leaving me out of everything then I became quiet & depressed , He wanted someone younger & more fun*
So true...THEY REALLY DON T UNDERSTAND REALITY IN FEELINGS...
@@ducky1115 me 2now
Ouch this stings. Got told I was cold and unrecognisable only the other day... After she hit me and railed on me uncontrollably for a solid hour without apologising, then tried to force me to kiss her, then started wailing uncontrollably that I made her feel like shit and I'm a horrible person. All because I dared query why she was looking at her ex boyfriends Instagram when I got back in bed. Tell me I'm crazy someone?!
If you suspect you're with a narssasist, get out quickly and quietly, do not try to change them.
Good luck.
Can’t escape my mother.
@@lilyanrs Gray Rocking is a good method to protect yourself when you can not or are not ready to leave. Dr Ramani has many wonderful resources when it comes to Narcissistic relationships and Narcissistic Parents. Remember you are not alone, I hope this helps a little
@@lilyanrs lmaooo same how do I escape from my father
@@lilyanrs Are you trying to escape Togami?
Wait how are you guys parents to you are they physically or emotionally abuse either way stay strong.
They don't leave you in peace. They leave you in pieces.
Good quote!
10,000Lakes B.C. Hi I left him first 17 years ago.....then weakened had my third daughter with him....so forever in his life...I let him put me off my dinner last night....as he kept messaging my girl,asking why he can not visit today....we busy wasn't good enough...it's my Baby Brothers 30th today,we will all be Zooming,having a party and he so isn't invited.....so no peace your right...I so hope you can put the pieces back together,very soon sweetheart....Rebekah Mary 💜🌎🕊🇬🇧
Psych2Go Hey,thank you so very much,think your wonderful,found you last night....your voice is lovely and you have already helped a lot....wishing you all the very best Rebekah Mary 💜🌳🌸
Selena Gomez agrees
That's what happened to me and I'm still hurting remembering it after a year I unfriended him :c
Guys, here's an advice from an actual narcissist: tell them what you think of them. The problem with many narcissists is that we don't recognise that we are actually wrong, we genuenly believe that everything we do is justified. It took a heated argument and cutting ties with all my friends to realise there was something wrong with me and not them
You describe it very well. Im now recognising my narcism and i feel bad about it. But its all comes with communications. I hope we can be stronger then ever before…hope
On the other hand, some too deep in the trench will dismiss or misuse that information and just keep going. Even if you tell someone what you think of them or how they hurt you, in the end any change comes from within. There's no telling what's the right solution to every situation.
u r not a true narcissist,narcissist doesn't listen,they r ALWAYS right,and i mean ALWAYS,there's not a single time they will think back and realize they did wrong,not even once.They will keep telling u it's ur fault even the fault is theirs,and if u don agree with them,they will tell u r a narcissist and never listen to ppl.
I would always call my ex out on her bullshit when she would be manipulative or devaluing me. She would turn around and do the silent treatment to me.
I told her how I felt about everything and she tried to turn everything around on me lol. Insane the level they go to try and control you.
I have autism and its really hard to know if some of the traits I have are just because of that or if Im a narcissist as well
For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever. However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes. And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out. They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life. Moreover, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
Thank you, thank you so much for this. I have truly been thinking I was losing my mind for years but this is unsettlingly accurate. And freeing.
As someone who's a victim of fawning, I just don't want to be hurt bruh 😭
Omfg this is my boyfriend down to the morsel 😯
I just unmasked one and I’m a little worried he’ll come for revenge. What are some things to expect?
@@tjackwc Break up. Save yourself.
I love how narcissists are always portrayed as men. There are far more female narcissists out there than you’d ever guess.
Yep I married one and we sleep in different rooms. Funny true thing is I didn't actually think about narcissism until Trump came to power in 2016.
@@naylisyazwina6836 No disrespect to you but anyone can make statistics work for them. There is no way of accurately correlate NPD numbers. For example all the comments on this video were not in those statistics you mentioned. My wife is not in those statistics :)
@@punanny123 the same can be said for people with depression or other disorders
That is because it takes much more for a woman to get diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, because people expect women to have a lot of these traits. You must have it pretty severe to get diagnosed as a woman, not so much if you're a man.
It's hard to tell, some people are just in the narcissistic spectrum, they don't have full blown Narcissistic personality disorder. And as we know, most narcissists think, there is nothing wrong with them, they walk around without diagnose and get no treatment..
“Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.”💫
i needed this quote
o
Facts
That's funny, I watch your videos and I'm a self aware narcissist.
I'm afraid of narcissists and wish I would never have anything to do with them anymore
Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects.
To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control.
Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done *Metaspyhub@gmail. com* ,,
Excellent statements ❤
I was best friends with someone exactly like this for 3 years and when a toxic person can no longer control you they will try to control how others see you. She still does this 2 years after the end of our friendship.
Wow just ended my 5yr narcissistic frienship with ex best friend I feel Soo much lighter!!
I am so sorry you endured this !
"They will try to control how others see you" thats true
Jep. The same has happened to me after I ended 4 yrs of friendship a couple of years ago.
@@themasterofbeer dang. Im on the sitch
Empathy is not weakness, but standing up for yourself takes strength. Be strong everyone.
Yep
@Yosemite wow
@Yosemite lol
@Yosemite I know who u are
Narcissists love polygamy marriages!
Gaslighting is so evil, but sadly it really is very common in people with Narcissism. The hardest part is to accept that someone you trusted intentionally tried to drive you crazy 😓
I know exactly what you mean ...
I learned that from my first serious relationship. He seriously thought that I would play his cowardly games... In a twisted sense, I have that ex to thank, for teaching me first-hand what to look for.
But more importantly, I have myself to thank for getting out, as well as my loved ones for supporting me through it.
My step dad does that. I feel insane
@@marsp5636 I'm so sorry... It's awful, what things some people will pull to get their way.
Gaslighting is so stupid. If they are treating you bad for a mistake you supposedly made they just exposed themselves. You don’t even need to know gaslighting to know if they treat you bad for a mistake more than once I would just leave without a second thought. It’s very hard for me to trust someone so I guess that’s why I find the tricks of a narcissist really dumb.
There are lists of abusive acts by narcissists. I would like to add one. It is "narcissist over ride". That's when a narcissist constantly bumps you out of a conversation and over rides everything you have to say. They will verbally pound you, often with aggressive body language, should you have something to say, with their point of view until you just give up. Best thing to do is to leave at that moment. Walk to another room, etc. Or, if possible, tell this person to stop over riding you when you talk. Of course, they will then blame it on you, but you'll have made at least some kind of stand. Professionals may have other ways to handle this insulting behavior. Thank you.
so true
Damn, all the time
100%
My brother, sweet lord. He's incapable of listening to anything that doesn't come out of his own mouth.
Great add. I’ve experienced this as well
I’m dealing with a narcissistic mother and watching this made me cry because it gave me so much validation to how I’ve been feeling😭
I am with 5 narcissists ALL LIFE IN MY HOME...What i say...😔😔😔
@@annastyles6217How😮
so am i :(
@@annastyles6217 girll same, its hard having literally nobody, but at least we know our shit ❤
SUMMARY🌱
1. Gaslighting
2. Projection
3. Guilt tripping
4. Silent treatment
5. Feigned ignorance
6. Playing the victim
7. Throwing tantrums
Your welcome🥰
I think so more than 3
I left my narc husband 4 months ago I was married 33 years I’m in counselling now I’m working on my healing
Sound like POUTUS Agolf Twitler.
@@triplekids3 Wow. How are you doing?
They’re very good at mirroring you too in the initial love bombing stage to make it seem like they’re your soulmate. It’s mind boggling
Ikr? Seems common everywhere.
Yes
Exactlyyy!!!!
YES! My ex husband was EVERYTHING I needed in a man. Kept that up for maybe 2 years but the narcissism was starting to show after a year. I remember after losing our daughter in childbirth I really just wanted to leave but I was suicidal and he went back to being that so very magnetic personality that I stayed.
After 2 years I remember telling him “ the kids ( his 2 and my 2) and I feel like we’re walking on eggshells with you.” And with those times he always made everything my fault. He never hit me. But he didn’t need to. I felt like shit the whole marriage. I stayed 16 years.
I so fear getting into another relationship because of that man. 8 years single and I haven’t had even one relationship.
@@DeetsterB 😢 I'm sorry
Narcissistic people are extremely charming yet painfully insecure. I lost my identity before, luckily. But it took me about 3 years to get it back to what was normal for me. Because of that narcissistic person I won't ever second guess my thoughts or go against what I feel and see.. So I thank that S.O.B. for waking me up
Escaped a 2.5 year abusive relationship with a narcissist. He did every single one of these things. Had me literally thinking I was losing my mind for a long time. Hated when I'd stand my ground and would berate me and would even say that I deserved when I got injured at times. I am so glad I had people out there to help me when it finally ended.
I'm glad that you're out!
When your own parent is a narcissist, it's hard to protect yourself...
Because you can't escape..
Tru ... I was supposed to move out this year to uni, at least I get some time to work on my temper whenever I get some alone time
yep. i'm 18 and trying to move in with my boyfriend. My mom is such a narcisist and plays the victim so much that im not able to leave....Everyone around her believes her and tells me just how much of a bad person i am....I's been like this my whole life and thats one of the reasons i had depression for 3 years....
It really is. Recently I've found out that I've been exposed to gaslighting, narcissism and emotinal abuse. I'm 19, majoring in law (freshman) and my parents are being really disrespectful to me, to my personal space. They're also telling me that I can't leave the house until I get married. I'm really suspicious whether I would be sad or not if I lost them. And of course, I don't know how to deal with this situation. Being with my family is like a torture.
@@missfluffycheek we are in VERY similar situations, i understand you. Stay strong
I used to be really narcissistic and I'm still learning better ways to manage my emotions so I won't put my loved ones through that. It took me time to accept that I was the toxic one and when I did, I was able to start on the journey to cultivating a healthy relationship with myself and others. And as much as I'm ashamed of what I was, I use it to motivate myself to keep getting better and to treat others with respect and kindness.
I love this!
@@Goldstar2110 at least you acknowledge so that’s not as bad
I'm proud of you this ❤️
Good for you !!
I feel that I’m probably a narcissist and I don’t want to be.
Just got out of a 3 year relationship with someone who definitely portrays these characteristics. 😱 always lashed out and broke up with me when I didn't do the things he wanted me to do..... definitely got gaslit and he definitely doesn't see his own wrong behavior. You know how many times I ran crying trying to get him back and apologizing for shit I didn't even need to apologize for ?!
Me: same
I’m glad you got away. I was married to one for 14 years before I filed for divorce ; the divorce took another three years to complete. I had to take her to trial. Of course since we have a daughter together I’ll still have some contact with the X. I’m thankful to God that I made it out alive; I lived in the same house with her for the entire three year divorce.
Same… damn near begging and feeling invisible!! Caused me extreme PTSD but im in therapy and healing everyday
I did the same :(
@@motha_earth1386 I was crying like for hours infront of him and he didn't try to wipe my tears or showed any sympathy..
I dated someone like this for 2 years. It was a total mental hellscape of which I had never known before. Often times, people who deal with this kind of person have dealt with some form of abuse or even a narcissistic parent themselves. Internal healing and reaffirming your own personal boundaries is the best way to prevent dealing with this kind of abuse. Stay golden everyone
This 🙏🏻
Summary:
1. Gaslighting (makes victim questions themselves) 1:17
2. Projection (dumps pain and problems on the victim) 2:11
3. Guilt tripping (makes victim feels sorry for you) 2:42
4. Silent treatment (not talking to
victim) 3:08
5. Feigned ignorance (plays dumb so you forgive them) 3:41
6. Playing the victim (makes you feel bad for them) 4:17
7. Throwing tantrums (uses anger to control you) 5:04
If you are a victim of narcissism, I hope you can use this video to learn. Good luck and have a wonderful day in quarantine 🖤
Thanks for putting this together!
👁️👄👁️
Aight. Why my mother uses all the mind games?
Oh.
👁👄👁
(ㆁωㆁ)
One of the narcissists' favorites: Intermittent reinforcement, the unpredictable ever-changing cycle of mean-sweet, push-pull, hot-cold ... makes the victim totally confused and addicted (dopamine rushes) to boot.
Do not give these toxic people the benefit of the doubt. Walk away as quickly as possible!
I have experienced all these idk why im still here and keep responding his texts and calls...i will beg God this 12 when it turns 2021 to help me get rid of him
@@MyOwnquantumBubble If you truly love him enough and want him to change send him this video. It may help him realize his behavior.
@@ZOne_26 do not ever do this . The moment you call out the narcissist , the abuse escalates . Us pointing out to a narcissist that they have an inherent problem , greatly greatly offends them and puts us in danger. Dr. Ramani has a great video on this on RUclips, search it up.
SO TRUE 😂 it really shows!!!
yes good cop bad cop all in òne
"Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation." And then there's me, who does both.
But calling them out for bullying you will always be seen as unkind or more abusive to them
"I'm not in danger Skyler. I AM the danger."
The worst narcissist is the passive-aggressive type. The silent killer, it bides its time, not showing up until it finds an opportunity to exploit.
"The worst narcissist is the passive-aggressive" yep ..
Self-absorbed, self-possessed, complacency, gaslighting used to manipulate people or situations, uses guilt and sympathy to make you feel sorry, questions your self-esteem or plead ignorance, empathy as a weapon, if you feel you've been mistreated,they'll get a reaction for you, if you do something out of character,you'll be labelled a fool🈵
Covert Narcism
That's *THE WORST* type of narcissm.
But imagine a *MIX* between TOXIC, UNMATURE and NARCISST!
*THAT'S HELL*
" its the slow knife that cuts the deepest " The Dark Knight Rises. *The silent killer* indeed, agreed.
They're self-absorbed, entitled, callous, exploitative, authoritarian, and aggressive. Some are physically abusive. These unempathetic, arrogant narcissists think highly of themselves, but spare no disdain for others.
Very true, they are incredibly dangerous people, user beware.
Sounds like my dearest papa.
They do not think highly of themselves at all. It's the complete opposite. They think so lowly of themselves that they create a manufactured illusion of themselves. They are deeply insecure. Therefore the lies and manipulation. So you only see what they want you to see and believe what they want you to believe. Narcissists are only as good as the people that buy into it and let them het away with it. Perfect example, Trump.
Or sexually abusive, like my ex...
@Adora Belle But this doesn't justify them, I've BPD and for a lot of time I see myself in an horrendous manner (also caused by the abuse of my ex) and I've never abused someone.
I’ve been dealing with this for years. I’ve been shut down from society and told I’m ugly and would never have friends so I need them. They told me I’m so ugly that they are being generous by liking me. I believed it all my life. But I can’t stick up for myself. Now that I know I will put a stop to it. That I promise. 😊
Me 2
It will always amaze me how the narc is perfectly described and diagnosed. It's all 100% true.
I definitely dated one😂 I used to be so confused on how a person could have such a victim mentality and be so manipulative.
instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/ ruclips.net/video/fpeMCEyQ698/видео.html
Sameee happend to me recently
I meet one untill so far. Keep an eye on him what's he will doing ?
He as a victim from sexciul about when he was 15 by a workers of God and he gets mantal problem,
After that no one believes in him, he never tells again.
Ahhh gaslighting, I thought I was going crazy and being over dramatic sooo many times because the other person convinced me of this ... honestly my self esteem has taken a hit
Mine did to
me too... she said i am overreacting, too emotional etc, and now i know... i am not the insane one...
@@nadiaelsa3850 yea it’s gaslighting and it’s so so manipulative! I can now recognize it more easily
Me tooooo
The gaslighting, selfish behavior, and LIES were terrible !!
Finally had to let go of a narcissist friendship, and damn, it's very liberating. These signs are so telling, but nice people, especially empaths, can have a hard time figuring it all out until it really starts hurting. Hoping everyone out there can use videos like this to help themselves see these signals and help free themselves.
It's almost impossible to protect yourself when blinded by love
if indeed it is 'love', or a need to feel loved. They can love bomb you so easily and if we are needy (brought up without love) we are very easy bait. Best to work on self-love etc and self-worth, don't ignore red 🚩flags, and have healthy boundaries.
So if someone is going in to quick and it feels not right, listen to your own inner voice (i have been burnt many times and learnt finally to love myself at the age of 53) 💗🙏🌸am 54 now
@@dustersinternational221 that's so true... thankyou 🙏
Time to wake up because you can do it! ❤️❤️❤️
It's not love fam. Nor they love you because they see love and any vulnerability as a weak individual.
And what you think love is your own denial to letting that toxic person go because you might feel they are what your looking for but in fact you are fighting your truth of that person and it ends bad.
I have been there fam.
Truth bomb of the day.
The worst part is blaming your OWN SELF and being drifted away from reality, its like being in a ' mirage of a maze'.
This is exactly how I feel like I am in a maze and don't know how to get out
I can’t believe I went so many years under this kind of manipulation and I can’t believe my own father would treat me like that
I had experienced all these signs!
I was badly traumatized and wasn't able to analyze simple things.
It was extremely painful and that mental torture made my life a nightmare.
Thankfully, I cut all the ties with those monsters and living my life peacefully now✌🏼
Alhumdulillah❤
🤗🤗🤗🤗
So proud of you ❤❤ i am also in the same page and trying to get through it
Narcissists also try to make others feel special to gain control; for example, they might compliment or flatter the individual to get them on their side. They then go on to play with difficult emotions like shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control over their victim.👍
Not only that, but my ex boyfriend who lived in another country, when we wanted to meet, asked me to stay at his house, where there was his mum too
How could I suspect him? Right? But it turned out that he wasn’t the good guy I thought he was...
@@ChocoParfaitFra I'm so sorry for what happened to you :( I hope you're safe now
@@declangilmour8184 well he didn’t physically do anything bad to me, but he emotionally manipulated me from the beginning of our relationship
@@ChocoParfaitFra Physical or emotional doesn't matter; abuse is abuse and nobody deserves to go through it. I know you said ex in original comment so atleast you should be free of it. I know it can be hard to come out of something like that especially if it lasted a while and I just wanna say it gets easier you got this ❤ i hope you never go through anything like that again
@The Psychotic Slytherin Its good your mom homeschooled you that way you had some distance, if you do end up going back to the same school as your ex all I can recommend is keeping your distance and minimize interactions with them - also I'm sorry you dated a narcissist too I know that can be really taxing mentally
My husband of 21 years does all of this. I finally woke up a year and a half ago and realized how evil his actions are. I left 10 months ago and will never go back. Please leave if you can!!
and i applaud you for that, you are strong!!
Did you have children? How did they take it?
You just gave me hope coz it's been 20years also but realised he s nojt gonna change and he also says it... But I'm so angry I need to make ihim feel what I felt all these years, I'm suffering from fibromyalgia, stress, depression, anxiety, everything because if him I have gained weight im always sick he took my youthful years I can't just leave him he need to taste his own medicine.
@@munterboy9298 Yes I have a daughter and she was sixteen when we left. I took her and left. She saw how he would treat me and she hated it.She saw all the abuse.She's the one that encouraged me to go. Her father has never been close to her. He was never active in her life even though they lived under the same roof! He's never embraced her or hugged her. He's truly a selfish you know what. Now we are both so much happier.
@@jabunxumalo3750 The best revenge is to leave his ass. Do not look back just go. Do not have any contact whatsoever. This will drive the narcissist crazy
I was raised by an AGGRESSIVELY abusive/narcissist. At some points, I see myself showing the same signs as him. I feel so horrible when I have cycles, and it’s embarrassing to talk about with friends.
My mother bears many of these tactics and traits of a narcissist. I got away nearly 10 years ago, I’m 23 now and I was 13-14 when I got away, and she still brings me emotional agony any time she’s let in.
YES, SOMETIMES IT TAKES NO - CONTACT UNTIL YOU CAN FINALLY FIND PEACE OF MIND. IT'S AMAZING HOW YOU HOLD ON SOOOO LONG, TRYING, HOPING TO MAKE IT WORK, UNTIL IT FINALLY SMACKS YOU BETWEEN THE EYES' THAT THERE IS NO MAKING IT WORK!!!!A NARCISSIST WILL ALWAYS FIND FAULT WITH ANYTHING YOU SAY,THINK,DO.THEY WILL PUNISH YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR ONE DAMNED EXCUSE OR ANOTHER.IT'S WHEN THEY FINALLY GO AFTER WHAT YOU LOVE THAT WILL BE THE BREAKING POINT FOR THE NON- NARCISSIST!!!! JUST BE PREPARED THAT THEY ARE 9/10 TRASHING YOU TO YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY, FRIENDS', IF UR NARCISSIST INTWINED THEMSELVES'IN A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDSHIPS', THEY COULD TELL UR FRIENDS' HOW WORRIED THEY ARE ABOUT YOU & HAVE THEIR LITTLE WAYS'OF TAKING SOMETHING SAID IN INNOCENCE & TURNING & TWISTING IT INTO SOME B.S. IT NEVER WAS!!!! UNFORTUNATELY,THEY DON'T CHANGE -- EVER!!!!SO, IT'S UP TO YOU HOW MUCH YOU CAN EMOTIONALLY,MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY & SPIRITUALLY TAKE, JUST TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH THEM CAN BE ABSOLUTELY DRAINING!!!!LIKE THEY JUST WANT TO SEE THE BAD IN EVERYTHING - NO MATTER WHAT YOU MIGHT TRY TO SAY OR THINK OF TO GIVE THEM HOPE, NOPE-- THEY WILL SUCK ALL OF YOUR POSITIVITY LIKE A VAMPIRE SUCKS YOUR LIFE- SUSTAINING BLOOD RIGHT FROM YOUR VEINS'!!!!BY THE TIME YOU ARE OFF THE PHONE, YOU FEEL EMOTIONALLY DEPLETED & BEYOND HOPELESS!!!!YOU MIGHT HAVE TO CHOOSE WHETHER TO CUT TIES WITH ALL OF UR FAMILY IF THEY ARE UNAWARE OF THE SITUATION OTHERWISE SEEING THE NARC AT FAMILY PARTIES' COULD POTENTIALLY SET THE NARC OFF, BUT HAVING IT APPEAR AS YOUR FAULT THE NARC WILL TELL UMPTEEN LIES ABOUT YOU TO YOUR FAMILY & THEY WILL THINK YOU ARE SH*T-- HAVING NEVER HEARD YOUR SIDE, BECUZ YOU NEVER TRASHED THE NARC., TOU JUST KEPT QUIET.IT'S SAD WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO NO - CONTACT,BUT SOMETIMES IT IS VERY, VERY NECESSARY!!!!MANY PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼✝️✝️❤️🔥❤️🔥🙏🙏🌹🕊️🌹🌹🌹💝💝💃💃🔥🔥
something i've heard:
"an apology with no change is manipulation."
that opened my eyes about my narcissistic mother.
You're lucky she apologized, most don't. They see that as a sign of weakness, when it's actually a sign of strength, maybe control in your case. For whatever reason, it's hard to have a narcissist in your life
@@iratepirate4756 unfortunately she still doesn't see why it's wrong and damaging to say the things she said and continues to hurt me. she doesn't care, she only apologized because i brought the matter up with my therapist and would look bad if she didn't, because she looks perfect to everyone else.
Did the therapist see through that
@@iratepirate4756 my therapist knows what my mom is like, but unfortunately there's really not much she can do besides try and fix our relationship
is best of luck to you
I just realized I’ve been in a 8 year relationship full of Narcissistically events. This video just confirmed my heart and all the signs were true. Now it’s time for me to leave her even though my heart hurts. Please send me prayers 🙏
Smh
I know I’m 6 months late but I pray everything went well for you Vanessa
I hope you're okay !
@@none-hg9ti I hope so too
Been there girl. Be strong.
Wow... eye-opener. For almost a year my best friend has been a narcissist. I ended my friendship with her not long ago and she tried to ruin all my friendships because I was standing my ground. This explains a lot.
The best way to play the reverse card on them is to wait for them to make the first move, then pretend to be vulnerable so he/she thinks you have played into their hands, but then once they know that ur vulnerable they will slowly let their guard down and once they do that pretend to be pitiful (this will shatter their predictions and give them a plan b) the plan wouldn't have been as planned out as plan A, then they will feel as if they need time to think so they will stop talking to u because they want you to make the next move so they can make the plan. But don't do it wait for them to talk to u first because this will make them feel vulnerable. And from there on u have won just treat them like your comfortable talking with confidence. You went from being very pitiful then filled with alot of confidence, they won't know what todo because they will question their own motives.
Moral of it "don't let them read your emotions."
Am I the only one who is thinking about a person while watching this ?
I know.one all too well.
My most recent ex was a narcissist. I dumped her a month ago.
Nope
my grandmother fits all of this so your not the only one
Nope. My dad does all of these.
I worried for a long time that I was a narcissist, but it turns out my ex was just calling me what he is, so that was a relief. While I do have some toxic traits, I'm working on them. Admitting I was wrong feels really ugly, embarrassing, and scary, but... fuck it. If I want to be a good person, I have to tackle the most shameful parts of who I've been as a person.
I’m in the same boat, there’s a few of these I show, and am currently working on.
Same. I can get stuck in my head because of my depression but I don't try to manipulate people/situations
It's true. Narcs will often project who they are and accompanied with gaslighting, you end up thinking that you're the narcissist. I don't believe narcissists have any introspection, they think their perfect.
Sht same here I have done some of these in the past but now Im scared af if I will do this in the future
Mine called me a narcissist too .... my personality changed as a product of his behaviour.... I’ve never known anything like it
I had a close friend who was like this. Unfortunately I didn’t know she was a narcissist, and I didn’t know the red flags because I had low self-esteem and didn’t have a lot of world experience. She used to lie on many occasions even if there were consequences and then fain ignorance and be sorry when she’s caught. I only distanced myself because I was starting to be very uncomfortable and even get anxiety. It’s only after many years I know the signs. Trust your gut folks. If something doesn’t feel right, get your self some distance
I love the opening line because a lot of these videos are all about trying to get a narcissist back when that’s narcissistic and itself so well done, and for being so aware and genuine❤
Narcissists usually have low self esteem and confidence. I can relate to that, because I was like that, and I didn't realize just how I played mind games, and no, I do not wanna blame my narcissistic parents for passing those traits to me during an abusive period of our relationship.
Now I'm working on forgiving myself, admitting mistakes, taking responsibility and be committed to boosting my self love and confidence, one day at a time.
I'm glad someone put a mirror in my face. In a way, I can stop this behaviour sooner than later. Also, this humbling feeling gives me peace.
Same
Quiet Rebel...This testimony of yours is so commendable...It will encourage many ppl, including narcs... Everyone of us, not only narcs, need help or improvements, in some way!...but it often requires awareness, determination, persistent, & a little help from others...Right from the Garden of Eden, we all became "damaged goods" to one degree or the other!...as the Bible says, "all have sinned & come short of the glory of God"(Rom.3:23)... But there's hope!...For permanent help, however, u must call upon Jesus Christ...to wash u clean from all sin, with His sinless blood(Rom.10:9-13)...I can't help preaching this, buddy...To do otherwise, when I know & have experienced this wonder-solution, will be irresponsible & wicked of me... I'm speaking from 50+ years of experience, walking with Jesus, & overcoming so many trials, pitfalls & 'wicked' temptations in life... There's hope for every narc, & any other dysfunction in life...Call on Jesus today!... Blessings... Shalom.
being in a relationship with a narcissist is like having an addiction to a hard drug :/ unrealistically euphoric highs, lows that feel lower than literal hell..
i’ve never been addicted to drugs but it seems like a fairly accurate comparison based on my marriage vs basic knowledge of drug addiction
I cant physically leave my house yet because I’m too young, but as the child of one, please please please seriously for your own sake get out of there as soon as possible- I’m not in a position to move out yet age wise and I’m trying to save up money rn so when I can I move out and get emancipated and cut my narcissistic mother off- I wish you safety and the best in life 💖💖
I don’t believe all of these types of people are doing these things on purpose though. Can this condition be treated with medication or counseling? Or is it just a lifelong type of personality?
Most of the cases, friends and family are not even enough to help out.
@@MoneyManHolmes My understanding of it is: They don't think (or want to admit) that there could ever possibly be anything wrong with them. Therefore, why should they seek help? There's nothing they need help for if there's nothing wrong. If you're having such a hard time dealing with them, it's your fault. The most upset I've seen the one in my life get is when their version of reality is challenged, by my SO and I not buying into their BS or daring to call them out. I imagine it's because for a split second, their reality flickers briefly, forcing them to consider that they could very well be mistaken, and they can't stand that. So, to summarize, meds and therapy could probably help quite a bit, but you'll never get them to go on their own accord, because they don't think they need to, or they don't want to even consider that they might actually need to.
@@henrikhowell4154 please forget the money and get out. It's not worth the money. Your sanity is much more important! I don't know how the situation is in your country but try to find support from funds of the state like care financial support from officials...state councils or else... and tell as much people as possible how you feel and your situation is! Greetings from Europe. Stay strong!
You're spot on! I found out the hard way.
Fortunately, I recognized some red flags early. I was able to extract myself without much
resultant damage.
Although, I am not quite sure whether the person in mind is narcissistic or maybe just a plain entitled person.
But, since I did not have any energy nor space left to sympathize them. I took my respect & glance, never looking back.
Even when I tried to explain, I want to have healthy boundaries, they told me I have mental sickness. I laughed in my mind, I mean... who would not have mental sickness being manipulated out of your sympathy.
Since then, even though sometimes I feel bad for them, I choose my liberation. I ran out of patience, chance, space for them, cause I don't want to be in the same position ever again.
Hard to say. Mine wanted space and independence but wanted to stay together. There were no boundaries or communication so it became a complex guessing game. I feel she was a rare combination of avoidant and narcissistic. I feel bad for her.
A narcissistic "mother" is among the worst and should never have a child, especially a daughter. The jealousy, envy and competing is real. She sees the daughter as competition for male attention. I wish I had a mentally healthy mother who wasn't emotionally, physically and verbally abusive.
I have a mpther like this and other narcissists in the family, isolation from them is the best solution. But of course don't isolate yourself from society
Yes it's true.also thaught about the same sentence .they shouldn't have the capacity to give birth .the are simply portal to hell
Being son of a narsistic mother is also the same .from childhood itself I know it .but I kept hope she would change one day .I kept on giving to her.it was like throwing your soul into a black hole .it never fills .it never returns anything good .and it's also really weird know there are actually words for what I suffered from childhood. few years back I totally realised what she was doing to my life
It's already too late for me .now I am 32 and there is enough damage that will stay with me to my end of life
Sending hugs and love for you guys. Stay strong.
I may not know how your parents impacted you by their narcissistic attitude/bahavior but I have an uncle who is like that too.
@@SilentTripYes and self-care and self-healing also help. Becoming aware of the narcissist is utmost.
The dislikes are all narristic, angry that they are being exposed to the world 🌎
😂
Lol that shit was fucking hilarious
lol
Am a narcissists, but it is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, many of us are very insecure about ourselves, it can depend on how u were raised and the way you were treated, I recently found out am a narcissist when I tried to manipulate my friend by giving him the silent treatment over a small criticism and it was honest and factual, I tried to deny I have NPD but i just accepted am one and now am trying to change but it is not easy, and one thing that I found is the root cause of Narcissism is that I don't have empathy, am trying to have empathy, truth be told, no empathy at all, I just want people to feel sorry for me... I was really sad when my friend was not entertaining my silent treatment and I just felt like I missed him and I felt very bad because he I missed him not because I felt bad for the way I treated him am trying to have empathy by understanding other people but its really hard, the truth is that you cannot change them but they have to realise it by themselves and that's the hardest part, I also tried to deny it but when I saw all the symptoms I said yep that's me and am going for therapy.
@@davidkwizera9457 Bruh. You can't have empathy if you treat others like shit, you know that right?
These videos help me understand my narcissistic father. I keep listening to them time to time, thank you for posting these
I am narcissists. And everything you said about narcissistic is true. And I really hate about this personality. Still struggle but my Lord Jesus is helping me to cure this disorder
This is SO sad...don't let anyone mistreat you...EVER.
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When I tell you I was BLINDED, I was so blind. My ex said I was a cancer to his life, but he was the one feeding from my beautiful soul literally dragging me down to his level. I have never felt more drained & after we broke up he tells me it felt like his best friend died. Like no honey your life support system just finally left you to rot like the piece of shit he was. Sorry I’m ruthless because fuck them.
*Honestly, just owning it and not trying to hide it is partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of the jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you leapnotch*
Perfect definition of my *so called* "best friend"
My ex-girlfriend was a victim of a sociopathic narcissist in her previous relationship before me, for 7 years she was with him and together they have a daughter.
Unfortunately, she did not realize it before and finaly broke up with him but her self-confidence and self-esteem had alredy deteriorated sharply.
I tried everything I could to help her but she did not want to expose me to the hard work.
She thought I was too good for her and think I would be happier without her, even though we had feelings for each other.
I do not agree but I can't and do not want to force her into a relationship that she does not want.
After 3 months since we broke up and I still have feelings for her.
She wanted me to move on and I tried. But that's easier said than done.
I hope she finds happiness again and can move on with her life, not for my sake but for her own and her daugher.
It’s been 23 months for me. I walked away cause I thought of suicide and didn’t want that for my daughter.,
I still think of him every day. He moved on with his ex a week later.
I recently found someone but my heart is closed.. sometimes it opens but to close again. It’s hard to move on.. the trauma and pain are deeply rooted .. very difficult..I wish you the best Jes, really. Like no other I know how hard it is to get them out of your system
@@123river Thank you. It warms my heart to read that from you and i'am sorry for you too.
No one should be exposed to that, i wish you all the luck in the world.
@@gilmourishgilmourish6205 I'am sorry and thankfull to hear it from you Gil, I trule are.
She said that too, about the heart. Thanks to your daugher you are still alive today to tell your story for people in need.
For that you have my deepest respect.
I wish you and your daugher the best aswell, and I hope that you to will find your soulmate soon.
Becuz you deserve it.
Currently going through this. We want someone in our life, but feel like such a burden. It is not easy, I don’t know if any relationship after an abusive one will be easy. She sounds very mature and caring for you though. Everything works out one day 🤞
@@deanna5853 A friend of mine managed to find love after an abusive relationship.
Then she said that it will only be difficult if you think like that and as long as you keep a broken heart, it will continue to be difficult.
I know how it feels, that the next relationship will just be hard and stiff. But only if you let it be so because it will not be fair to either you or your new partner if you keep a broken heart.
You must let your broken heart heal first before you are willing to give it to someone else.
You are not a burden Deanna!
Just as you said "Everything works out one day" and I wish you peace, love and happiness.
It's so hard to escape a narcissist coz once u leave a narcissist you won't have any more friends coz all ur friends will be on their side
im so sorry to hear that, i hope your doing better
They are his or her's "flying monkeys" and IDGAF. My father is a Narc. His relatives are his flying monks. They must wait for my revenge 🔥💁
Maybe they weren't your real friends in the 1st place. My truly close friends would never chose a guy over me, someone who they've known all their life as apposed to some guy you dated or even married. I've dated a narcissist & my girls always had my back & encouraged me to leave no matter how much he tried to spin or manipulate the situation.
karma will come eventually
That's so very True!!!!
Thank you.
I've learned a lot watching your videos on narcissistic abuse on your channel...
Even had friends recommending me those and being like "it's word for word, watch it".
It's complicated still, but it helps.
1:17 Gaslighting
2:13 Projection
2:43 Guilt Tripping
3:08 Silent Treatment
3:42 Feigned Ignorance
4:20 Playing the victim
5:05 Throwing tantrums
I‘m extremely sorry for anyone who has to go through something like this! Keep reminding yourself that you are great, worth of love and respect and that no one has the right to put you down! I‘m reading so many comments from so many broken but strong people. Keep your heads up everyone ♥️
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I know this was written 6 months ago but thank you❤️
thank you, I needed to hear this.
Ya‘ll are so welcome 🥰 feel hugged, everybody! 🧸♥️
Your comment made me feel positive. Thank you.
My mother is a narcissist. She ticks every box in this video and I've known this about her for a few years now. I went into therapy a few years ago for depression and PTSD and found myself much stronger and tried to have some semblance of a relationship with her. Even with these tools, she was exhausting to deal with and it was taking a toll on my mental health again so have since cut her from my life.
I get a lot of backlash for it from people that don't know me or know the full story i.e.: "but she's your mother!" "you can't just cut her out of your life!" I can, I have, and I am better off from it.
I'm in the same boat. It's a hard reality to swallow yet I know I'm not psychologicaly well enough to sustain even a surface level relationship with my mother....I pray for forgiveness and healing for us both 💕
Omg!It seems like I’m reading this text about myself!I have gone through everything you mentioned!I’m still in therapy though.It has been very difficult to move past childhood traumas and everything I expieranced because of my mother.Only way to heal from it all was to cut her out of my life completely and go to therapy to finally move on.I realised my mother will never change! Her evil and toxic behaviour towards me almost caused me to do suicide!!I still to this day don’t understand how could she treat her own child like that!I’’m 31 years old now and I’m still reliving past traumas.I don’t care anymore what people think of me when I tell them about my mother not being in my life.I don’t need to explain myself to people who don’t even know me or my past and what I have been through!I let them think what they want,which is “There’s something wrong with Me”.I need to protect my Mental health and peace and that’s more important than what people think!Thanks for sharing the story!I can so relate to this! ❤️
My siblings are trapped 24 and 27 years old. They have no idea our mothers a narcissist. Worst part is my dad knows and does nothing
Kudos to u! My mom is also & I'm only kid.. when her dr said she needed live in aid I got us a place together thinking its my job to step up for her. More I watch/listen to these videos I'm learning this place wasn't my best idea.... She's narcissistic & I'm BPD, got PTSD, anxiety, depression, anger issues. I self medicate & either stay in my room or go in woods to get away 😞
Bravo!!!!You did it right...me2 because all from my life are NARSISTSTS....
I tend for fall for narcissists. Something about that initial charm gets me every time. I never see it coming and once I realize what’s happening I freak out and the relationship implodes. sigh
The constant dilemma of the narcissist/abuser being my mother is something I struggle with
Many PRAYERSNLUV,IF YOU ARE STILL LIVING WITH HER, IS THERE SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST TO TALK TO?? KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS'MANY PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼✝️✝️🌹🌹💝💝💃💃🔥🔥
comments section: you’re thinking about a specific person aren’t you?
my overthinking ass: am I a narcissist? what if this is me? do I do this? hhhhh
Relate 😂 exactly me
the only thing keeping my ass from overthinking that i might be a narcissist is remembering that i am an empath- ;w;
You are actually being your own heckler here. Stop gaslighting yourself. It will make you doubt yourself for no reason even if you're not at fault. Take care of your physical side but also your emotional side.
Narcissists don't question themselves, so the fact you're asking these questions to yourself very likely means you're not. :)
Lmal
I think you missed one very important point, that is if you're in a relationship with a narcissist doesn't matter whatever the relation is, friend or more you're the "ONLY ONE "who's giving and they will suck the very life out of you, they wont give you ANYTHING, not even acknowledge your efforts or give you any emotional support and you'll be completely empty and bankrupted.
True that
@M e Exactly I'm an empath amd I tried to heal my narc but what happened.. I lost my selfrespect and he said that he would only treat me better when I get rich and a house and business, as those are his "standards" and then when I said that I would heal him then he said that he doesn't need healing and that I'm immature and need to "grow" as per him also then we had a fight and he blocked me and i was so happy to finally let go but today this urge to talk to him has come back and its killing me!!!
Really helpful, so hard to care for someone that is set out against you at every turn..
Omg the feigned ignorance was out of control with my ex. "Never meant to hurt you", "I didn't know getting shower selfies from female "friends" was disrespectful/hurtful to you", "most of the men in my family have cheated", "my Grandma told me to do "hit n runs" aka sleep around as a kid, "my grandparents had porn around the house" (under the age of 8). Even after I explained none of this was healthy for a kid, let alone our relationship, the lying, excuses, and behavior continued. He saw nothing wrong with any of it. He started counseling but that just made him worse. I had enough after 4 long years and left. Should've left WAY sooner.
To add on this list... Narcissists also use relationships/friendships as a weapon if things don’t go their way especially if they want something or have a favour w/ someone.
Could you explain more please?
@@marolina9329 When Narcissists lose control over someone or that someone refuses to do their favour, they’ll get defensive - may definitely use relationships as a weapon to reconquer the control & still use them.
For the Smarter cases, they will say what they do wrong in your face then point it at you, so that they will later prevent you from speaking out how they're being (rude/mean/psychotic/you name it), then top it off with "You are being rude/negative", "You're a hypocrite", or "Stop trying to pin stuff on other people".
@@marolina9329 Narcissistic use common friends to get you back in trap. They will try to convince every common person whether friend or family member to get you back.
@@fresherdays thanks for explaining.
My mom was married to my dad for 12 years. Although he refuses to go and get diagnosed, my whole family suspects he is a narcissist. He left me and my brother with extreme emotional trauma from psychological abuse. My mom left him a few years back and we’re on the road to recovery ❤️
you are so strong and God has a plan for you!!!
Narcissists think they know it all and consider medical professionals lesser than them. Cover and overt narcissists will never seek help and even if they do when mortified, they'll stop going once they're back to normal, heck they'll even manipulate the psychologists lol
Take good care of yourself ❤️❤️
@@soummyatilloo1761 having a parent as a narcissist usually leads to cptsd/npd /bpd/codependency/insecure attachment styles/all sorts of darkness emerges when they don't let the child be the child.
Make them dead to you. It's the only way to defeat a narcissist
my mother would beat me savagely such as hair pulling, slapping, kicking & scratching when i failed in school or made mistakes in keeping an orderly room, school bag or breaking household ornaments by accident. she also chased me around the house with a knife to scare me when i could not cope with school work. she also would pretend to act insane by suddenly keeping silent and laughing at herself. she did this for 3 yrs while i was in the 2nd to 3rd grade.
I'm so sorry you don't deserve this
as someone who's grown up with a narcissistic mother: if you are in a relationship and recognice this behavior, do not try to change them. You can't. You should leave for your own safety.
My ex-best friend was exactly like this. So glad he's no longer in my life.
@@user-kz5lj1tm5q Hi! Keep your boundaries tight, be a little more assertive. If you don't want to chat with her, then told her you don't have time to her atm. If she keep texting, it means she don't respect your boundaries (especially if she get mad or try to gulit trip you). Then you have to call her out/confront her, because she don't respect your ask for more space. Normal people understand if you need space. Good luck!
SAME (female)
@@user-kz5lj1tm5q drop her. I went back to my narcissistic friend at least 4 times and have always regretted it. You can make new friends.
@@user-kz5lj1tm5q A good way to fuck with a narc is by being boring or giving little to no information. The “dull rock” method I think is what they call it. They eventually leave you alone
Ikr had me all fucked up in the head but thats over
Im very very guilty of this& now dealing with a man been mistreating me for everyone else! But im healing from all that him his mother all of his ex's & his womens& his so call friends. & Im glad you& others are exposing these peoples for who they are& im preparing myself no longer too deal with this disfunctional man& family& those that surround it!!
“The narcissist mind games are now closed and you’re not forced to participate” 👏🏾👏🏾
Yes
I refuse to participate. Let the chips fall where they may.
Time to fight back
ruclips.net/video/fpeMCEyQ698/видео.html instagram.com/p/COlZzPajFED/ instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/
Right! I just blocked one. Ain’t nobody dealing with that if we don’t have to 👆🏼
My goodness. This is such a spot on description of my most recent relationship. She dumped me a month ago over text. Mean, cruel, cold, lacked empathy, gaslighted me, refused to acknowledge responsibility, gave me the silent treatment, then threw a tantrum when I called her out and stood up for myself. She wasn't like that the whole time, but in our last month together her true colors came out and it looked exactly like this. She broke my heart, but it's getting better with time and counseling. Good luck to anyone else going through this.
I was in a 2 year relo with one and she did everything your ex narc did to you and much more.
Things is, she didn't change in the last month with you. She was always like this,but only knew well to hide her true self.
These kind of people get off on playing with your mind and emotions and accept no responsibility and blame ...
i love the work you put in these videos. thank you so much
Me, half asleep, "Is he narcissistic? Am I narcissistic?"
@@chouzetsu8856 um I did both tho wtf should I do now 👁💧👄💧👁
@@r.a2222 If you're really concerned then it would be best to seek out professional help. But until then you have to face the fact that you have flaws. We all do, and that's ok. We're not meant to be perfect beings. It's hard.... But once you can face them, you can improve!
@@katierenee5699 i agree and I am sorry if I come out as "wanna be therapist" I just trying to help people as much as I possibly can till then I will stop if they don't need it from me 🤍
Having flaws/traits is not the same as having narcissistic personality dissorder. You need like 85-100% of the traits. And some are worse than others. You are most likely not a narcissist. Maby you are just a asshole or feel crazy at times, but who issent that?. Have a great day 😁
Most people have narcissistic traits. It’s natural to defend our egos. Narcs are completely different.
I’ve allowed myself to become close with too many narcissists. Took a long time to figure out that most good people are not like this
Same raised by one
Funny how when I finally stopped being a people pleaser and responded my "friend" aggressively, he said "wow (insert passive aggressive tone), your attitude has changed. I am really liking it👍👍 (insert sarcastic tone)."
After seeing this I think I might be a narcissist I see a lot of the same patterns in myself and it makes alot of sense as to why I can't keep long meaningful relationships (romantic or platonic) but I've also heard that if you think you're one then you're more than likely not. But I don't know it just seems to fit really well with my issues with people
Everyone has some narcissistic traits, but everyone isn't a narcissist.
Omg! I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. You said it perfectly! Because if the toxic relationship I participate in, not only have I been TOLD I'm the narcissist, but now I believe it! Now what do I do?!?
@@dottiejones4366 twins fr
The only way for me to save myself from this narc is to walk away from this person, and going no contact at all... I wish i had some courage to walk away earlier... But no regret, better late than never
Yes that's what I did and it's the best way to go. Confronting them would just give them opportunity to turn the tide and manipulate you into staying.
@@Lexihides exactly.. and that's just wasting time and energy. Just leave is enough to tell them that they don't deserve us
It is the only way. It was a struggle trying to break up with my ex, because talking would go in circles. He didn’t take no for an answer, so I cut him off entirely. I felt horrible at first because it felt dishonorable, but I finally realized it was for the best. Especially since he kept harassing me for months after, using different numbers to call and making fake accounts. And yet he always played the victim... saying I wronged him. Right.
@@thesphinxthinks8291 be strong... Never blame yourself from leaving the narc... Because they don't deserve any kindness...
Me: Am I a narcissist?
I kinda feel concerned about this, but I tell myself: I'm just overthinking.
Me: But what if I think I'm not a narcissist and that makes me a narcissist?!
Also Me: Dude, you're overthinking! If you think you're a narcissist then you're not!
Me: Am I a narcissist?
Others: Your not.
Me: .....ok....but I usually play the victim!
Others: at least your aware.
Me: I keep looking at the mirror!
Others: chillax
Me: Thanks
One guy: You have no idea what a narcissist is, do you?
Me: umm...
Guy: Edgy Teenager
Narcissists never doubt themselves... they think they're right all the time which proves that you're not one of them... chillax 😊
Lol literally me as I'm watching this
How did you read my mind......?? XD
That shit was fucking hilarious
I do all these behaviors and I hate it and I've had people confirm I do the behaviors in the video and I feel terrible and idk how to fix it
I watched this because people called me a narcissist. After watching this video I realized they were the narcissists, and I fell for the game.
Just recently realized I was married to one. These videos have helped me put a lot of pieces together. Thank you all very much
The scariest thing is if you are a kind hearted.. you are afraid they are going to commit dead cause you left them or reject them.cause it’s hard for them to understand that “their is always fish in the sea”
You captured my feelings. My dad has narcisstic traits. Me and my mom are thinking about moving out so I can escape him, but I've been hesitant. Through all this hate and sorrow, I still fear he would die alone or that I would be responsible for someone else's pain. But I don't have the energy to care about others that much when I too am hurting. He's an adult, he can cook food, take care of dishes and hopefully do laundry. I'm only a teenager. I have my whole life ahead of me. I can't waste time on an old fool who will never change. Call me selfish if you must... I just want to stand a chance in this unforgiving, cruel world. You made your choice. Now I'll make mine.
Everything of this did my abusive ex to me.. Thankfully I healed from it with therapy and speaking about it.. I was too long ashamed.. But he's the one who should be ashamed.
Glad you found the right therapy! :)
😰😰😰
I lived with a narcissistic mother until I was 38 -- she managed to convince me that she couldn't possibly live without me, or me without her (due to high-functioning autism). It was only last year that I finally found the courage to leave, and though I'm still dealing with the trauma of everything she did (including everything from this video -- her guilt-tripping game was STRONG), I feel like I'm in a better place now.
Shrooms in micro doses will heal the autism and the trauma. Hope this helps
I was a victim with a partner with the same traits. now i know how bad a narcissist can effect you. At the end I got MDD, & anxiety disorder because of the negative thinking it left on me for years. I was blind with my self worth. Now still healing after the diagnose but thank you for the advice. I understand more now & more aware