It's not just narcissists. Being an empath is a curse most days. All the people I try to help and are always there for are so rarely there for me when I need it most.
I think you should fill your own cup and set boundaries. Being an empath could make you feel it’s a curse most days when you’re not learning that. But I do believe being an empath is way far from being a curse. I believe it’s a blessing. It just prove that you are powerful and very connected, but to see it, you need to see yourself first. ✨ I send you love and strength 🙏🏾💪🏾💕
I am an empath and tried to help a friend narcissist but she never wanted to change her ways. Every time we hung out was for her own selfish benefit. If she was not getting private DMs from random guys (on social media) from the memories we made together, she wouldn’t enjoy her time with me. Always on her phone and displaying this false reality but she is struggling and living a fake life. Her masks fall off. I cut her off for good. She never listened to my advice, took advance of my kindness-generosity and attacked family. She was too clingy, manipulative and drained my energy while I was with her. I’m so glad I’m free from the shackles and able to recharge, grow and move on from this. Our friendship only lasted for 6 months. A good learning experience.
So sad to see so many people relating to having an experience like this with a narcissist. It’s important to avoid these warning signs. It’s never worth it 😢
@@quit83636 I think someome in my family is also. The person suffered trauma thought I'd mention that. But they lack empathy and only think of their own self gain. I try to connect with them, teach them but they are not open to accepting the reality and lack humility. I'm trying my best but feel like giving up sometimes. The person is very jokey, has bad vibes and mocks a lot. So I can never have a normal valuable convo with them if need be. I DNT kW wat to do
Timestamps 1). Narcissists will never fullfill the covert contract 1:01 2). You can't save someone who doesn't want it 2:37 3). Emotions can't replace your brain 3:57 4). Narcissists are disordered and morally bankrupt 5:22 5). It's all a fantasy it's not real 6:59 6). Abuse means genuine love was never part of the picture 7:51 Hope this helps you out. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Once, a nascissist told me i was being selfish for setting boundaries and putting my healthcare first, can you believe it?? Thanks for the helpful video!
I had similar. Mine said that I was clingy for wanting basic reliable communication, they were my best friend and actively said they wanted to be friends, for context.
Narcissism is like a dormant mind-virus that can cause itself to activate and spread via toxic behaviour causing others to be toxic. Truly, truly, I have lost count of how many damaged women I've known who told themselves and everyone else that they're lovely empaths, who had their minds warped by a far more toxic boyfriend. This scenario has happened to me repeatedly in life: The lady comes crying to me all emotionally mixed up. "Wah wah wah I hate my boyfriend / husband. He's no good. Abusive even. I can't leave him though. Parent X did terrible thing Y when he was Z years old. So I've been cheating on him, even having full-on affairs behind his back, and now I'm toxic trauma dumping on you, as I lead you on with a kiss and a fondle and get your hopes up. Then after you spend a week or two trying to get me to dump his toxic rear, all stressed out on my behalf due to my remarks about possible self-harm, I'm going to go ice cold on you, and treat you like a delusional incel who I never led on" And so an extremely Toxic boyfriend caused a toxic, cheating, manipulative, emotionally abusive girlfriend to happen to other men. Who then likely became a bit toxic themselves and so the merry-go-round of horror continues. Shoutout to a 'radical feminist' ex of mine who melodramatically whinged about a boyfriend who wasn't keen on doing household chores as though he was extremely abusive, led me on then showed no interest, after years of me running around picking up the pieces after every drama, only for her to be completely useless when I had a *truly serious* crisis going on, blank me, not reply to my texts. Later on I found out she was one of a rancid, semi-incestuous circle of cheaters who'd all had affairs with each other behind their partners backs. This One True 'Feminist' 'empath' was actually: A cheating, manipulative, emotionally unstable, hypersensitive covert narcissist deluding herself and fooling others into believing she's an empath and never once did anything wrong.
@@marylu2216 I hate to have to tell you this, but this kind of reaction is exactly what this wally wants. The absolute best thing you can do is just ignore them, or if you must, report them for constant harrassment. I'm not generally a fan of reporting people, but sometimes needs must! There are two rules of the internet that everyone should be taught before you ever go online: 1. Don't feed the trolls. 2. Don't argue with idiots, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with their superior experience. I break these rules all the time, but that's because I myself am a semi-reformed Master Troll, who feasts daily on amateur trolls and plays with their minds for my own dark amusement.
As an empathic child of a narcissistic mother, who still won’t respect my boundaries after I cut her off, I have to say to anyone who will read this… YOU ARE WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and just bc someone’s family doesn’t mean you have to stay around them.
It took me until 40 years old to finally cut mine off and it was hard to shake her because her and my brother are two of the same.now both of them went no contact with me trying to punish me for not playing the game anymore and I let that be the time when I did the same. They tried to slander my name to others but I zoned it out and stopped caring. If it hit the ears of a person who believes that so be it.Ive been free for a few years and man feels great!!!
Yeah.... an abusive home into an abusive marriage to a narcissist....over 25 yrs later I'm 51 and have been on my own for the last 5 yrs. Intense therapy and finally learning to live for myself and this video is seriously SPOT ON.
I'm so sorry, glad you're FINALLY out of there once and for all, and hopefully you can avoid any narcissist that gets in your path. Do you have any advice on how to not get caught in a relationship with a narcissist? I grew up with a narcissistic parent and I was confident that I'd be able to identify when I was around one, but a lot of people say growing up with a narcissist actually makes it more likely you'll miss the signs.
Yes Julia the years were the same for me and your age at the time also. I am 65 now it took me almost 10 years to figure all this crap out. I still listen and get informed about narcissism. I have a neighbor that I moved next door that is a huge narcissist huge huge. at first it frightened me me to have it happen again and then with the information that I knew and the confidence that I have built up by watching these crazy narcissist videos, my confidence just soared. now practice on her but only when necessary. We have to be careful however, these people are so tricky and can pull an empath away from the truth of who they are quickly.
Well done you. I amsimilar, my mother was a narcissist and I went into codependent relationship with emotionally abusive partner. 22 years later making decision to leave. I am now 67 and wish it hadnt taken me so lomg to learn about narcissim. My partner is a so iopath with narcissitic traits too. It has been a hard journeybut I have finally learned the truth! cx
@@Psych2go They usually get me to do want they want and don't try to listen to my pov and sometimes even manipulative I don't know for sure about my dad , where as my mom, yes she's a total narc She starts to shout when I try to oppose her and sometimes throws stuff at me to make me do her work PS : I LIVE WITH THEM 😭😭
I was infatuated with a narcissist about seven years ago and I had not been in a relationship before so I had no idea what a normal relationship looked like. She made my life hell, playing with my emotions, leaving me out in the cold and then hooking me back in when her supply was low. It took me a whole year and a half and an internet article to realise just exactly what she was and to get the hell out of there. Ended up cutting all contact with her and my life has much improved since then.
This is like the worst karmic experience possible for an empath, thus we get proper stronger barriers and safer from abuse after going through it. We just learn a lot, because it hurts us so much that we never want to go through this again. Truth is, the narcissist can't live without an empath to feed on their ego. So they just keep going from one victim to another. The emptiness of their heart, is by definiton, their own punishment. Let go and be free, there's always another empath who will apreciate you the way you really deserve 💜
Very well said! The whole experience creates some kind of upgrade in an empath that makes our intuition grow stronger like a super fine tuned instrument. Then , suddenly, we start noticing really nasty things in others, not only in potential romantic partners. It feels like an awakening or as if a veil was removed for good.
I really like the level of detail you go through to deconstruct narcissism in a concise manner. My sisters and I have all three been involved in romantic situations with narcissists. Everything the empath does in that situation comes under scrutiny, because they are now an extension of the narcissist, rather than their own person. It's an absolutely horrifying situation to find yourself in. I can't thank you enough for making this content so accessible to everyone; it is instrumental in helping people escape abusive situations.
Exactly. We have to separate to find ourselves again. I'm doing that right now. (Escape plan in action) It's bizarre how they can twist things to make you look guilty. I lost myself, now I'm getting me back. Good friends who have been through this helps.
This all sounds like Leftism 101: the victim groups that continually expand the definitions of how they are victims of society or just anyone who isn't them, with their "lived experience" that is somehow YOUR problem to continually fix for them.
Ive been having a hard time getting over my ex who was a narcissist. I broke up with her because of her repeated mental and emotional abuse but i still have all these feelings im trying to get rid of. This video really helped me put things into perspective and think about the situation logically. It has helped me move forward. Thank you so much! Love!
I almost feel sorry for men rather than women, dealing with Narcissistic romantic partners. Men are largely the majority of (endless) Romantic. I know this because I was 35 years a Florist....Hopeless romantics keeps the industry going. Men mostly. Sorry for your pain in separating. I hope this helps. Pray for "Emotional detachment"
I just broke off a 7 month relationship last month bc she was through and through a narcissist. Always using me and taking, and never giving in return. I feel like I'm going crazy with all this chatter in my head. I maybe get 4 hours of sleep now a days -.-" Freaking women man...2nd one I've dealt with.
As an empath, I have to say it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. If I’m surrounded by people who are all stressed out, I will absorb that, and feel stressed out as well, which isn’t great when I don’t know why I’m stressed. I’m so happy to help people out, but too much is too much, if multiple people are dumping their emotions and situations on me, it gets hard to keep up, we just need a break sometimes. It also gets stressful with arguments, arguing can be fun, but at some point it gets to be too much. I’m also diagnosed with anxiety, which doesn’t help. So I may be anxious, and everybody can usually tell. I try not to make a big deal out of it if I am because it usually isn’t a big deal, I just have to push through with logic, and rationality. Sometimes though I need a little extra help, an outside voice to tell me its nothing to worry about.
Being an empath is mostly a trauma response. We learned to be hyper attuned to the energies (emotions) of the people around us because we had to in order to stay as safe as possible. As adults we now are walking alerts for negative energies/emotions for that reason. Subconsciously we still feel the need to protect us by gaining a certain degree of predictabilty. It's a coping mechanism. Being aware of this/becoming conscious of it helps a lot to set healthier boundaries. Then it is more of a gift than a curse that we developed empathetic skills.
My first relationship was with a narcissist. It was a really hard pill to swallow realizing it was never “real” during the 2 years I spent with him. I’m over that dirt bag now, but I’m still recovering from the self hatred of why I let myself get into that situation and why I didn’t get out sooner. I wish I never met him because of all the trauma and hurt, but at the same time its made me more aware and independent. If you’re going through this with your partner, please leave them. You deserve and are worthy of true love, no matter what they tell you. Don’t let them get inside that beautiful mind of yours.
I'm glad for this experience, I learned a lot, a lot about myself, what I deserve, how to love myself, and what to watch out for. Going to avoid making this mistake again and wasting time.
Just got out from this kind of relationship. It sucks 😞 She manipulated me the whole time, she made me believe with those sickening lies. I never ever thought I'd encounter a narcissist in my entire life. Thank you psych2go for these kind of videos, it would really help a lot of people especially those who are experiencing this rn. They need to get out from that grasp asap.
The hardest and most agony thing for me to learn from my covert narcissistic "situationship" (because to a narcissist your not in a "relationship" or a "marriage") was .. she just didnt care, which i had to learn to acept and it helped me find closure.. was that .. she just didnt care.. and she never did.. it was all a game of power and control... and once i saw this... i told myself.. so why should I care.. and that was when I learned to let go and heal.. but its so hard..
This video resonates with me & my most recent relationship that I've struggled with for so long & finally left a little over a month ago.It is a very bitter pill to swallow,especially the fact that it was all an illusion to supply & validate the twisted narcissist! I appreciate the wisdom of knowing that "time lost" is far better to acknowledge,than to continue to waste more precious time,catering to these misfits.They really do make you feel more frustrated,lonely,& invisible,with zero return of compassion or empathy.The Narc that I was involved with has been reaching out to me since I've left gaslighting,deflecting,lying,& refusing any accountability for the deceitful cheating creature that I had found them out to be! It's mind-blowing by any standard. I've never encountered someone who would take so much,& give zero in return. Thank you for these bitter pills of truth,as it tied up a lot of loose ends in why I was doing what I was doing,for so long even though the red flags were evident since the beginning. My sympathies to all going through & having gone through this trauma!🕊✨️
Everything in this video has happened to me recently with a narcissist friend. We’re no longer friends now but I have learned a lot from this experience. In the end I’m sad that I’ve lost someone I thought was a friend but on the other end I’m glad I’ve cut her out of my life. The drama was emotionally draining
Hi I'm 18 years old and I'm from the Philippines,Iam glad to say that I am now taking my undergraduate study in BS-PSYCHOLOGY for the years of watching this RUclips channel,thanks Psych2go for helping and inspiring the youth like me in the knowledge of our mental health.
I feel like I have narcissistic tendencies from a rough childhood and early teen life, and yet I also still remember the empath I was who always wanted to make everything better (even though I was eventually broken). Now I am watching the only person who ever accepted me for who I was, and showed me unconditional love reach her breaking point and have to walk away from 12 beautiful and challenging years, because of my stupid patterns. I'm cycling through all of the stages of grief while trying to find the strength to better myself without an alterior motive, failing miserably because I've lost all respect for myself, by how I've hurt such a beautiful being, and the only thing that's getting me through it is just looking at it all and collapsing in to tears as I realize that it's probably too late, and she is doing what is best for her, which ultimately is best for us... I guess... I hate this so much. It's the hardest thing I've ever experienced. If only I had realized these things sooner, I could've gotten out of my head and taken the time to listen. This isn't a cry for help, just a digital sand mandala of generational pain. We have a beautiful 5 year old son together, so we will always be connected, but to think that I wasn't there for her the way she way was for me, brings me the most agonizing sadness and anger that I've ever felt. I guess if anything, I'd like to say some of us out here don't just cut people off or surrender to apathy when we don't get what we want, but the urge to do so was there like a parasite trying to take control of my body and mind. Honestly I'm probably lucky to be a little schizo because I was able to play the dark stuff out enough to see it as an aspect of myself that *I* need to be present with and not project onto someone who has been there for me through thick and thin........ even if I can't be the one who meets her needs.... what I would give to overcome these things and come back to win one for the home team. I could've been the first in my family to do it right, but it looks like the only constellation I will have might be knowing that her and my son are happy and bettering myself because it's never too late, and life's too precious to throw away, even when it seems impossible to cope with. This is my breaking point. I'll never forget this feeling.
@@aliendeathrocker Thank you. It's been a challenging journey going back and looking at myself, my actions, and my mind. I still have a long way to go, but I can gladly say It's happening.
This has really helped me to realize that this was the exact relationship I had with my dad Ive come to realize that ive really needed to get away from him or stick up for myself this really helped me realize my own self importance and that the way he acted was not right thank you
I like that you said you needed to get away from him or stick up for yourself. When I have been in difficult situations, it has been hard for me to remember my options. And sometimes problems do get resolved simply by standing up for yourself. When it doesn't...the problem is with them. Not you.
I was married to one for almost 20years, knew her for 26, and it hurt to have this realization recently. I had to get rid of the idea that they ever cared about me. The most painful thing honestly was the time that I lost and can never get back. It's not even the fact that I will have trust issues for years to come if not permanently. It really is the time. After an explosive moment which forced her hand to pack up and leave, our children who are all with me by their choice, see their mother for the person she is. Unmasked and persona exposed, she tucked tail with embarrassment because the children which have been a shield and sword for her were no longer available, and they saw that they too were being wielded for her own needs and selfish battles. Everything is all about her, and they saw it in 8k HD. If you have or are dealing with this, cut the cord. It is the best thing to do for yourself. You are definitely not alone in your experiences. It will take time, and I have no idea how much, but like all things in life....this too shall pass. The sun will come up, and it will go down. Life is there to be had between then.
This I believe doesn’t only apply in an intimate relationship, but in a ‘friendship’ as well. Been super close with a narcissist for a good 3 years of my youth. We had so much in common and it seemed like only he could understand me as a friend. Unfortunately no, time and time again I was emotionally walloped by him and had me thinking I’m the one who always messed up. Until a week ago I completely dropped him without a word. Keynote here: “Dude what happened?” “Did something go wrong?” Don’t explain, a narcissist doesn’t self reflect. Point is, if you’ve ever got hung up over a narcissist, don’t forget that the world is full of beautiful people and I’ve had the pleasure of meeting so many of them❤️ To those who’re still recovering and trying to grasp a sense of reality, hang in there there is so much more to life❤️💯🥰
This sounds exactly like a relationship with a narcissist I got out of last year. I think this is one of the first videos of yours that’s actually triggered me, but in a productive way if that makes sense. I’ve been working on acknowledging the trauma I’ve went through instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. This way I can actually start to heal❤
This is so accurate. I've exhausted my relationship with my relatives thanks to the fact that my dad gets power trips from controlling people or things and my mom used my empathy against me by playing the victim card all the time to earn favors. Things would basically happen this way: Our pet needs help. "But your father will become furious with the bills! Oh he controls me so much I am so powerless i cant even pay a vet please never get married love is a lie!" My dad is cold towards the pet thanks to the attention they're getting, because he's a jerk who can't tolerate sharing his family, belongings and house with someone else, backing my mom's stories. Cue me spending the little money I had because I love my pet and also believing my mom was being controlled by a freak (emotional manipulation, gatekeeping my potential relationships, financial abuse). "Don't let your father find out the pet has been to the vet or he will be furious!!" My dad never hears from it. Calls me out because I never moved out of their place, says I never help with shit (after all, he never learns that I'm solo carrying vet bills on my minimum wage which rendered me unable to move out). We fight. Later I'd overhear my mom going full double agent style and trashing me to my dad to gain brownie points with him. The other day she'd feign sympathy by trashing my dad to me to gain brownie points with me. Yet if I argued with him in her presence, she'd take his side and both of them would back me into a corner by supporting each other and calling me unstable/spoiled/unbearable. I'm forced to shut up, retreat, and later she'd either go "why are you so angry? Your dad is a good man!!!" or "you have to stop talking back, I had to take his side for you!" Or "I cannot tolerate the way you two argue anymore, I do everything to calm both of you down I just want some peace and quiet I should just run away or kms!" She literally thrived off this chaos for years until I realized this wasn't normal family crap. Then I slowly became numb. I talk to them only if i cant avoid it, and when I do I have to force myself to pretend im perfectly fine. I can barely feel anything for people anymore, I just care about my fur baby lmao
Omg...same thing happened to us when we had our cat. Everyone loved her except him. I never even peeped that the fact that he was not getting all the attention was the reason why 🤯 Anytime my narc father was on one of his tirades and we tried to stand up for ourselves our mother would tell us to "shut up", "Children don't swear at Adults" (Gambian [African] Proverb), "He didn't mean it", "You dont understand what he means" or some other bullshit. Meanwhile he beat on us like we were tambourines. Thankfully my siblings (with the exception of 1) are nothing like them and chose to see the light. It's hard when it's a parent let alone 2. However no act of cruelty like this goes unpunished. Hang in there bud 💛
@@FutureFendiFsnista I'm so sorry you've gone through similar experiences before. The powerlessness and confusion that came from growing up in an environment full of mixed messages screwed up my head big time, I hope you managed to heal if it happened to you too 😔 The weird thing about my fam is that... Sometimes, both of my narcs would be nice to the pets, eventually love bomb them (it's not unusual for my mom to pamper a pet for a while and my dad show up claiming she's not giving him enough attention because of them), yet sometimes they'd work against them, other times they'd blatantly neglect them like in the example above, next they'd prioritize anything except the pet while claiming they love them. My mom had a weird hecking habit of buying snacks, toys and gifts to other relatives' pets and not doing the same for hours. I've even questioned her before, "why don't you bring some for ours?" But there's no clear answer. I've seen them sometimes cry when no one was looking when we lost pets in the past, tough, so I'm inclined to believe they maybe do/did kind of, sort of love them. It's just a really freaking weird way to "love" someone, idk. Must be a constant struggle to ponder over whether an action is working on your side or not all the damn time. I'm not a mental health professional so I'm not sure if I can backup my argument about their true feelings much 😅 That doesn't mean I'm okay with their behavior, though. Everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally by their parents, fur babies included...
Grew up with one as a father. I recognize them when I see them, and often have to tell my friends that they are dealing with a narcissist. They usually don't believe me until it's over, which is typical for such a relationship. It's sad and it sucks.
My narcissist blamed me for 14 years that I wasn't trying hard enough to fill her needs. She even blamed me for being the narcissist and claimed I was emotionally abusing her trying to elicit more sympathy. I finally said enough and have felt so much better. I needed to learn to respect myself. I miss her some days, but the more I discover myself again the less I ever want to go back to that. Thanks
ah yes, a narcissist. my ex was a narcissist, on the outside she's the council president in school and netball captain too. at the end of the relationship i realised she was only using me and she has no regrets. she dated me when i was still naive about narcissists and left me when she felt 'bored'. narcissists are MANIPULATIVE and we should not go back to hurt ourselves again. don't give them a chance 😢‼️
@@Psych2go well, I hope we can all be cautious about seeing both the good and bad sides of a person and not only the 'good side', which is very important. Also, even though a narcissist may leave a bitter taste in you after the relationship, stay true to yourself and people who still care for you! also relationships aren't everything, take care of your emotional well-being too, for example, learn to love yourself and learn to be happy without depending on others :)
This video is great. The only thing I have to say is everyone isn't just one or the other but people can switch between them. I've had issues with a narcissistic experience with my ex's but I've also been the narcissistic person in relationships.
I'm not an empath, at least I don't feel like I am, but I was in a relationship with a narcissist for years and, yeah, it was hell. That last pill was oh so hard to swallow, but once I accepted it suddenly everything made sense. And more importantly: once I accepted it, only then I was truly free again.
Scarily this describes my previous relationship (and partner) to a tee. And I lived that for ten years, ten years where he slowly, carefully removed all my support networks so I only had him to rely on. Between the physical, sexual abuse that followed I'm not sure how I survived but I'm glad I'm free from that, from him now - though my confidence still suffers as a result for the moment.
@@Psych2go I removed his stuff from my house, all bills in my name - the physical stuff was easy, the emotional stuff less so. I've gone through a series of conflicting feels, I even felt guilty at points like I abandoned him - he'd so insidiously weaved his way into my life that I felt lost without him. I remember the first time I had to go shopping by myself I was absolutely terrified, it was all alien because I was boxed to our home for years (he didn't like me leaving the flat). Now? I love going out, not being beholden to someone, I love simple things like getting groceries. I'm still nervous at times but the more time goes by the stronger I feel and one thing I know now I will NEVER let myself fall into this trap again. I deserved better than that, I deserve better than that 🙂
I'm so glad you made it. Ten years is a long time and I find it inspiring that you're making your way still. Best of luck to you ❤Stay safe and take care
Honestly one of the hardest things about breaking free from a toxic relationship like this and educating yourself on narcissists and the like; is seeing people in your life readily run to or stay to these types of relationships. You see the wolf in sheep's clothing and know what they're going to do and why they do it, but all this knowledge can't save others 😞. Us preaching about needing self-love/respect, but them defending all of their emotional and verbal abuse. They tolerate everything until they perform a final taboo like cheating but even then, they view it as something to fix/work on. It's so heartbreaking 😞😞😞
I'm a diagnosed narcissist, I take pills for situations I caused. And it's just frustrating how they put us as bad people. Narcissism it's a disorder, such as ADHD and OCD, which means that's it's not our choice to be like this. Yes, we need help and maybe prescriptions, but that does not mean that we like seeing people get hurt.
i think that your self awareness is great but it’s not that people are portraying it as bad: it’s that real people are being hurt by this condition and what’s more is that the nature of the condition makes it hard to diagnose because how many narcissists can admit they are? it becomes a toxic cycle that harms the people involved but i am so glad that you are getting help and trying. i wish more people would.
@@De-tw7by I was sent to a psychologist from school, from bad things I provoked. The psychologist said I had a strange behavior from my age, and that we had to work in my state of mind about other people. She referred me to other mental field doctors, I didn't know anything until they told my parents, that I got diagnosed as a narcissist. I got in a horrible denial, bc of course I thought I knew better than them, and they gave me pills for my impulses. And in then I just accept and tried my best to keep people save from my narcissism.
Hard to swallow pills? More like liberating truths! ✨ yeah, it’s heartbreaking and mentally draining to break free from a narcissist, but realizing you are the one in charge to break the spell turns out to be very empowering too, in the aftermath, of course.
My mother is a narcissist while I'm an empath. She always made me feel like I was responsible for her feelings and her happiness and like raising me was such hard work that I simply had to do anything she wants like I owed her my service. But I never asked her to raise me. I even told her the opposite multiple times. But I still feel like I have to serve others to be useful so I can be worthy of my place in the community. It's so hard to unlearn such deep beliefs...
Listening to this was like listening to the story of my marriage. We have been separated for nearly 3 years and I am still broken by it. Thank you for this as it has helped me on my way to understanding
I'm definitely an empath and I have come to learn that kindness really pays off. I enjoy it too. Not sure if this was a narcissist, but I once met a kid online that was a complete drama queen. Everytime I joined their chat lobby, they would always demand control over the situation and whine when they didn't get their way. I've been cursed out many times by this kid. They also often played the victim when they didn't get their way, just sitting in a corner and going "woe is me.." And sometimes, that's all they ever did, regardless. As an empath, I did try to offer a different perspective and a hand up out of this pit of theirs, but it never worked. In fact, I don't think they ever showed any empathy or kindness at all, even when I apologized. Eventually, I started to just roll my eyes - "Not this again..." Luckily I was able to pick up on this fairly quickly and was drained to the point of, "I'm wasting my time." And cut off all contact with this kid. If they get upset over it, well.. I don't think I really care anymore. They may or may not have needed some help, but clearly I'm not the person for this. I'm outta here.
This was an awesome presentation on narc/empath relationships. It’s so incredibly painful to walk away and move on. Like the video pointed out, narcs are so good and filling emotional voids with a complete fantasy. Once they know we’re hooked, we’re dumped on our face. I’m not sure if they ever cared. The jury still out on that point for me, but I have to carry on as though it was all fake. Romanticizing the idea that any of the relationship was sincere is the first step back to abuse and misery. Great video as always!!
As an empath I have been in many fake friendships and have 100% been taken advantage of and it really hurts it feels like someone stabbed you in the heart but it’s okay because now I found real friends who care and support me and really have my best interest at heart ❤ I’ve moved on and feel safe now sure I still think about my old “friends” but that’s something that I can learn from and I hope that if anyone is in a toxic friendship If you see this I want you to know it will be okay and you will move on you won’t forget it but you will be okay and safe one day
Living with a narcissist right now. Crashing with a friend temporarily while I figure out my next steps. Can't afford to pay two rents for the remainder of the lease so going to house sit as much as I can and visit my family at the end of december. Moving in February. Each day is agonizing and draining living with a narcissist. I can only truly rest when I am out of that space.
Not all narcissists are evil, an example; my narcissistic bf is a diagnosed narcissist and he was very manipulative and self centered but also at times generous, but he noticed his manipulative traits and he’s working on bettering himself, I feel he truly loves me, he isn’t evil he’s just sick.
Im an Empath and i feel like my brother is a Narcissist from what you say. At a young age he would always pretend to be nice and be my friend only to harm me further. i cared a lot about others and always forgave him without realising he would just use it to hurt me more. He wouldn't only bring harm to me, but to others and I would just have to go through it. Everything you say described him.
Question them too much or put too many boundaries down, they block you first, deeming you as a serious threat, espcially if you try to make them accountable for misdeeds
I’ve never considered my best friend a narcissist. We’ve had this beautiful friendship for almost 5 years now. We’ve always supported each other, we’ve always cared for each other, we’ve always been there for each other. It seemed like the perfect friendship to me, so much so that I put her up in a pedestal and saw her as this glorious being. We’ve had our disagreements and to me that’s a normal part of any relationship because even though we understood each other in such deep levels i could acknowledge the fact that we weren’t the same. She said that I’m her soulmate. The thing is, there have been times when I’ve felt like my feelings have been disregarded and I hadn’t had the courage to ever say anything about it because like the video explained i had this gut feeling that would tell me that she wouldn’t be able to put herself in my shoes. I was right, my gut feeling never fails me. I confronted her about it through text like a day ago. A month ago we were so good, hanging out, communicating consistently and it was great but suddenly and to me out of nowhere she disappeared, with no explanation. This is something she’s done in the past and i just had to learn to respect it because my gut would tell me that I shouldn’t say anything because she wouldn’t be able to understand my feelings. So basically this past month shes been dealing with some personal things as I imagined and I respect that she took her space to better understand herself, her emotions, what she’s going through. To me it’s very important for her to do that, to take her space in order to be able to get to a better place mentally. But i was hurt because it all happened so suddenly and out of nowhere i knew nothing about her, i was worried, i was concerned, i was scared. So many questions ran through my head, so many negative thoughts. I thought my best friend had abandoned me. In the midst of all this i decided to confront her about it and i expressed how the way that she went on about it hurt me and she just didn’t care, she literally wrote “idc” because i was “making it about me”. I even ended up apologizing for “making it about me” and she just brushed it off as if my feelings meant nothing, as if my feelings weren’t valid. She literally invalidated my feelings and she even went about it in a rude way. She took her space because she needed to go through some things by herself, I completely respect that. It’s something that I’ve practiced all my life so i get it. What I don’t get is how she could not care about how that could affect the people that love and care for her, how her disappearing could’ve hurt her best friend. I was worried and of course I wanted to help, she didn’t need help and that’s fine but maybe she could’ve let me know that she was gonna take some time to heal herself by herself. I don’t think that’s selfish, I don’t think it’s selfish to believe that your best friend will take your emotions in to consideration before literally going MIA. She was even rude but I couldn’t take that to heart because it wasn’t about me. Basically I wasn’t allowed to feel any type of way because what she’s going through has nothing to do with me. I only expected her to say something like “hey, im going through something and it’s gonna take me some time, you probably won’t know about me for a while but I want you to know that i love you and I’ll get back to you at some point. Please don’t worry about me I’ll be fine, okay.” It’s like yes, do you, heal, take your space and all of the time you need, i support that. What i just can’t seem to understand is how she’s not able to see how the way that she went about it could’ve been damaging, is damaging. I love my best friend but I don’t believe I deserved to have my feelings shut down. I’m only human and I’m not perfect and maybe I’m wrong for expecting that from her but what can i say, that’s just me.
Every point hit so close on this one it felt targeted lol, I really am grasping at straws here trying as hard as I can to give my mother the benefit of the doubt despite the hard fact that she repeatedly abused me for years, it was a years long pattern, and at this point the only reason I'm even trying anymore is cause I grew up in foster care and wanted nothing more than a family. But she has no capacity for empathy, and I'm making a fool of myself trying to justify her abuse as some twisted form of something similar to love. But I can't in good conscience call it love, she has an attachment to me, but this really isn't love, I receive more love and kindness from random strangers than from her and if I accept this as love I'll accept anything as love. She chose to adopt me cause I was a traumatized child with high empathy and no idea that I deserved to have boundaries, not out of love. She didn't even care what her own husband thought, let alone what a neurodivergent child she just met thought. And for the record, this doesn't feel like waxing. I would *prefer* waxing to this. I want nothing more than to show her compassion and to give her the benefit of the doubt, but maybe I need to stop and accept that some people just aren't worth it. She doesn't want to change, she already thinks she's perfect. And even if by some miracle she changed her mind, she's infinitely more likely to lie to me or about me than to think for a moment she might not be perfect. I already blocked her because of the constant harassment, but then she called the cops on me in the middle of the night cause idk, ig she was desperately trying to get her food source to feed her ego back by harassing me even more? I don't know, I know she abuses me and she'll keep abusing me if I don't cut her out of my life, but I want to at least hear from her why, maybe it's genuinely an accident the years of constant abuse? Wow it looks even more desperate in writing than it sounds coming out of my mouth. This is gonna be a tough pill to swallow lol.
I just recently got out of a relationship, all of these were checked off and I didn’t even know it. I don’t think he even knew it either. Just blinded by anger and narcissism. I’m glad I got out before my daughter or I were physically truly hurt.
I remember watching these videos back in 2019 when I got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. I didn't realize how manipulative and emotionally abusive they were for a long until the following years. Then I realized that my parents inflicted a lot of similar treatment on me, and they still try to. In that relationship, I often thought "my parents have said these things to me before, so it must be okay and true." Now, I'm actively trying to cut contact with them, one step at a time, but they live so close by and are close with the rest of my family that I don't know how to avoid them if they retaliate
I never thought I was an empath but I really like being kind but my mom makes me feel like I'm dumb and I know she's a narc because here's an exact quote from my Birthday she said: "Just think about (I forgot, maybe something about how it's my B-day) and how you have the *best mom ever*" and that's a very narcissistic quote.
Been learning a lot thanks to your channel, learning how protect my energy and not feel that guilty when i get a bad response in return, after doing something nice. Thanks ❤ 🌱
I have a lot of friends who don’t even realize are narcissistic, but I’m always there for them anyways. I will try to help them, and go way to far out of my comfort zone, yet they never want to help me emotionally or physically despite me doing it for them. Which I can understand sometimes, but you get sick of it, after so much time you spend on helping them, you get absolutely nothing in return besides a person you can hang out with.
I am a very empathetic person and sadly I fell in love with a narcissist, the first year of relationship she was so kind, so lovable, so warm and thoughtful, but after one year passed, she started to show her true self and well I let it happen I didn't accept or could see what she was doing to me cause I loved her and to be honest I still do, she broke up 3 times with me which I 2 of those times she wanted to come back and well I forgave her 2 times, the 3rd time I tried to get back to her and she just simply said "no" after all I did for her, she just dumped me like nothing, right know I'm struggling with depression after all of this, she made so many promises to me, she even told me we were going to get married. All just a fantasty.
As a person with autism who struggles with social skills, I find this deeply stigmatizing. You're basically saying people with social skills are caring, and people without social skills are uncaring. That's so stigmatizing and messed up. I might struggle with social skills, but I'm the most caring person around. I'm the only one who would comfort a depressed stranger, save a trapped bug, go to a homeless shelter and ask how I can help, and even date someone that I myself don't feel any attraction to just because I want THEM to feel better and less lonely. What if I really was better than everyone in my whole dorm? I'm the only person who always does my best to stand with those who are hurting. Everyone else just flippantly brushes people off. Even as an autistic, screwed up narcissist, I can honestly say that my heart is pure. I only want to cause healing and let the weak come before the strong. You see, empaths aren't inherently caring. They're just good at playing politics and framing narcissists for the harm they do. And I don't appreciate how empaths, instead of helping people like me feel understood, intentionally and cruelly use their powers to harm me. It's not cool, and empathic powers aren't an excuse to hurt people. I'm the real superhero. They're the supervillains. But empaths, no matter how thick a web you weave, God always knows the truth.
Make sure your empathy isn't actually people pleasing to avoid conflict and to feel safe. You must set boundaries and treat yourself right first. If you do this, you'll never fall victim to a narcissist. True self reflection is needed to discover this.
I feel so stuck. I’ve been in a relationship for over 2 years now and in the beginning everything seemed wonderful. We were happy, and I like to think that it was genuine love but I don’t even know anymore. Then after about 10 months in, he started wanting me to change who I was. He told me the music I like it stupid, I can’t play my own music in my own car. He told me to listen to him but it seems like every time I was crying or upset about something, he was angry at me for it, instead of caring. He said that he will only comfort me if it’s something “worth crying about” like a dog dying or a family member dying. He tells me that all of the things I’m knowledgeable about, don’t matter. We are still young, and I always come over and clean his room, cook his dinner and lunch for work, and he simply told me that “anyone can do that for me”. He would screenshot pictures of girls while still in the relationship and even though I got him to stop after begging and begging, I find myself still feeling insecure and afraid he will do it again, and he thinks I’m over reacting for being afraid. He makes offensive jokes like calling me a “retard” and when I tell him that’s not okay to say, he just says “that’s how I joke”. It seems like any fact that I told him, wasn’t right or “isn’t true”. Even when I would talk to him about psychology, he would say that psychology isn’t true either and that there is no such thing as an empath. Anytime he accidentally hurt me and I would say “ouch” he would just say “stop, that didn’t even hurt that much, you’re over reacting” even if it did hurt. And the worst part of all, is that I still don’t want to break up even though I know that it’s the right decision. I feel like I’m crazy for thinking he is an abuser but at the same time, everyone has told me that he is. I just don’t want to make the hard decision, of leaving
its 3 am, and i accidentally stubled upon this yt video and my mind is completely blown by the accuracy of this !!!!!! my ex best friend was a narcissistic person and this is exactly what had happened btwn us! watching this video was looking over our friendship from a third person's perspective and my mind is completely blownnnnnnnnnn
I have been an empath for most of the people who just used me when they needed me . And trust me when you listen to someone else's traumas you can feel that pain within you . I had friends who made up stories and faked their depression when they didn't had anything depressing in their lives and it really hurts because I was someone who has lots of childhood trauma and I am naturally very empathetic and good to people who has suffered in their early days . And she always faked depression in front of me and used to ignore my feelings whenever I tried to tell her anything abt my childhood experiences she always acted as if she is the one with all the problems. And ignored my feelings. And the sad part was she was always in the spotlight because of some lies that she told but no one cared about me just because they don't know what I have been through. I don't want any sympathy from PPL but I hate it when she fakes depression in front of me and act as if other PPL prblms are nothing in front of hers .. Whenever I told her anything bad that has happened with me she always turned things to me . As if I was the one at fault.
Also the pills weren’t hard to swallow…on the contrary it brought relief and was very affirming. I think content like this is so important because for many of us that have experienced relationships with narcissists( whether that be familial or romantic…) we are often isolated and gaslighted so much through the course of the relationships we really start to doubt our reality and if the maltreatment is indeed abuse. Moreover our social networks if existent are usually made up of people who inadvertently become flying monkeys ( due to betrayal blindness or other reasons) whom perpetuate the emotional abuse via gaslighting. ..so there’s no one to turn to and confirm and affirm that you aren’t crazy for simply knowing and asking for better treatment.
I love this channel. The animations are so cute and yet thoughtful in a way that makes some very heavy topics like this one more palatable and less triggering for various members of your audience.
Narcissism runs rampant in my “family”… they all think they’re better than the next and it’s truly sickening to watch unfold. It’s like they’re cursed or something fr. thank God for my beloved grandmother showed me a different way! 🕊️
This video really came at a perfect time for me. I survived a nacissictic friendship just recently, well I think it was more than a friendship that, it was more of a actual partnership without sex or kissing. It lastet for 3 month and Im struggling since 2 weeks to get over it, the last point really opened my eyes, my feelings for that person were real but the person probably just played along to get supply, when I started to do stuff with other and calling out the bad behaviour it turned so quickly.
After years of watching your videos, I have finally found what really matters to a narcissist, especially with the release of this video. They want emotional attention span, no matter what negative or positive form it is! This is such an easy way to view things and that is absolutely very predatory the way they indeed conduct into. Once they have drained you enough, they can start to "modify you" to their liking, even if it is by misinformative means, which is a massively global issue today! I first thought looking at "history is the manupilators worst enemy" would be effective and point out their behaviours, but that ended up being largely backfired due to the fact that they manage to convince others that may not have the same amount of experience as those with experience of narcissistic abuse. I have to say, having both autism and ADHD, being born with a narcissistic parent and even ended up in many toxic relationships in the past with manupilators, it baffles me the lengths we sometimes have to go, just to find out a simple thing they want and that took me over 30+ years to realize. And truly, you can't really heal if you have poison in your life creeping faster than you can heal, so better kick out those folks draining you whenever possible. Discovering your channel back in 2018 has truly helped me showing what to look out for since then! Thank you Psy for creating such an awesome channel and helping people find their way through in life!
Just came across another video explaining: How narcissists are created," and then I come to the page, and see your comment. I have to agree with you because before I met this person my life was peaceful and I was figuring myself out, on the verge of getting a new job after being on disability. Now preparing to ace my Entrance exam, looking for another place to stay, and work. It is indeed hard to break free from someone who is wanting to be heard due to emotional neglect during childhood.
I also think that I was a narcissist when I was in 4th grade... and I never cared about my friends only about myself. I was selfish.. I started to realize it when I slowly had more and more enemies. I felt very bad even tho I was still pretending to be the best. But I wanted to change! Most ppl just believed I could never change but I tried to learn how to become a better peron, even tho it was pretty hard. And you guys helped me a lot!! Thank you for everything!
I'm in a fight with my work and I totally get this! I was speaking to them about the cost of excessive night shifts to my mental health and they're so forcing me to do it. I actually had a moment where I had to acknowledge. 'Oh, they know.They simply don't care.'
Yes - I can relate to all of this. I’ve experienced a relationship with a narcissist and also a friendship with a narcissist. I am very much an empath and this video explains EXACTLY my experiences. Thank you for sharing ❤
Creating the good guy (empath) and the bad guy (narcissist) is a coping strategy to keep seeing ourselves as the "good guys" and those ones as "the bad guys". This is ultumately what creates wars in the internal and external. Before we start seeing the "bad" in ourselves (and eachother) understanding where it comes from (usually unmet needs, traumas....) we are far away from integration as individuals and as human society.
this whole experience with her has shed a light into my soul allowing me to grow up and fix my shit before its too late. I have lost 50 pounds, I start a new job at 10am today. This is how I know God loves me because this time I actually learned a lot. I will always love her for bringing me closer to god and I pray that god keeps giving her opportunities to let go of her past and start new. We all have the power to change, we just have to learn to let go of our ego and walk with god. (however you were taught about god)
I’m a narcissist, and I knew it when I realized that I wasn’t able to care enough about others than just me. We never get enough from someone and we expect more than we can give.
i used to be a big empath but then i had multiple narcissists in my life which turned me into a disaster now somewhere i feel like even i am a narcissist now though i wouldn’t ever think of doing things like that to anyone i might’ve been doing it unconsciously so idk
These points hit hard. I realize now I felt loved because I saw fruits of me caring, but I was never truly given love. I wanted to give myself to someone and she wanted to take as much as she could before I caught on.
I am an empath , recovering people pleaser and I don’t “ people “ anymore. I will always be there for others , no matter what. It’s automatic and no prethought is present… true or pure altruism. I have survived way too much trauma and abuse in my life and can’t bear to see others suffer . But now , I’m a hermit and rarely go out anymore. My last relationship almost killed me … literally and spent 2 weeks in the psychiatric hospital under lockdown. Also that contract is not me , I never have had expectations of anyone because people will constantly let you down, I accepted that fact a long long time ago
I think it is important to remember there is still very little we know about narcissism as a diagnosable mental illness. And most of us display some form of narcissism from time to time because we are human. It matters how we talk to one another and sort out our differences. I think it is important to be cautious of and even avoid labeling people a narcissist or empath altogether because it can be hurtful towards others if misused... unless we are their psychologist and it is our responsibility to diagnose them and do so properly.
Hurtful and placing people in a box with a label. For me, these labels feel limiting, identity wise. But I'm happy they help people make sense of difficult situations.
Agreed, by P2G's past videos I would clearly be either a sociopath or psychopath but I'm not, I've been confirmed by professionals not to be but by all unprofessional stances I am. Some of these videos by P2G play more on Hollywood versions, stereotypes or plain misinformation (nearly all the ones about narcissism and forms of ASPD do). I in no way think P2G or anyone else means badly but it's a simple fact things are not as black and white as lots of their videos give off. Narcs or people with ASPD can be nice and improve. Empaths and other 'victim groups' can be bad. And painting either as inherently bad/dangerous does more damage than good.
@@daniellechekel8866 thank you, I thought about trying to explain to others but I know not to do it when someone is expressing their own problems or when someone seems too rooted in one way or the other. It's nice to see/hear someone more open to other views and willing to learn more than was provided, people as nice as you can be a hard bunch to find.
@@J4CKS0N_D34R3ST what you say about knowing when not to explain to others is very insightful! I have not always understood this and in those moments I've thought to myself, "why aren't they listening to me?" Or "why are they being so stubborn?" I didn't look at it from their eyes. I didn't reflect. Well.. maybe they are not ready to listen. Maybe they have their own way of looking at things. Maybe I'm not hearing them. I'm glad you made this comment!
I had a friend who is a narcissist. She portrayed herself as the poor, misunderstood girl who had no friends because people were so-called mean to her. But once I cut her off, I then realized that she had no friends because of how badly she treated people. She initally lovebombs them (as means to gain trust and loyalty) and later took advantage of those around her for personal gain. I confronted her several times for her actions which hurt me and she somehow made it like I was the one at fault and that’s when I knew she exhibited narcissistic traits. I was so done with being used and so I cut her off completely and told her straight up that I had absolutely nothing to lose from the friendship. Needless to say that she was taken aback that I stood up against her because she thought I’d be afraid to lose her. Though the friendship was brief, it really taught me to be mindful of who I call as my friends. Never again will I trust people easily.
this entire video, and many others on this channel have really helped, this video and many others about manipulation, abuse, and narcissists, have beat for beat (no exaggeration) described everything i went through, and how i was/ am being treated by my ex, thank you it really helps!
I've been lately suspecting that I might have NPD. I got so tired of inevitably causing hurt to every one around me that in the past year I've isolated myself to a point where even my immediate family doesn't know where i live anymore. When I saw the title of this video, I hoped it was suggesting how to empathize with what a narcissist goes through but it turned out to be the opposite. I don't fully blame all the hate we receive in society because of the way we are but I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. Because while we can't help but hurt our loved ones, we too are secretly struggling internally. Most may not be be aware of this because we don't really talk about the war going on inside our heads. Even expressing this makes me feel guilty that I'm making it all about myself again. I have completely seized talking about myself and my feelings now hoping that it might make me a little less of a narcissist.
I once was told, "...if you suspect you're a narcissist, you probably aren't..." due to the fact that narcissist aren't usually capable of self-reflection and empathy for the people they hurt. Before you go cutting everyone out, you should seek out psychological help. Don't self diagnose from the internet, one if the first things to happenwith narcissistic abuse is you think maybe its you... Hoping you heal.
I don't know why every video I watch, it makes narcissists look like bad people. Narcisism is also a disorder and need to be treated the right way. Not shunned and alienated from society. That actually make narcissists even more sure that people deserve the selfish type of treatement. My mom is a narcissist and I used to enable her alot. I grew up and my boundaries grew up with me, I understood how narcissists think and I no longer emphasize where I shouldn't, but I know she needs reassurance, love and care more than anyone. To a limit of course. I don't see her as a bad person who is trying to hurt people, I see her as a damaged person who knows only one way of dealing with people that kept her surviving in her environment. But she no longer needs that, as her environment is no longer the same. That's it.
I feel bad for my aunt aswell. Especially after describing her childhood trauma I can empathize with that. But is that an excuse for abuse? I understand what you are coming from. But abuse is choice.
@@lil_britz7589 The problem here is that they do not know it is abuse. They need to learn and accept that reality first. Narcissism is just another coping mechanism, it can be unlearned.
We can have compassion . The thing is though alot of people and I mean many many people dont yet realize how to set boundaries. If they have yet to establish boundaries and self confidence, even nonempath should be very careful when interacting with narc. I understand though that we want to help our fellow family member friends neighbors but one has to be educated in the subject before engaging in it and given the comment section, alot of people especially the young are ignorant and innocent to these types of disorder. I think what should be tackled is educating the populace over mental health and how abuse and trauma from childhood are the key points of the cause of these orders. Mental health in general should first be put on the spotlight before tackling the categories. Society has slowly began to move to the importance of it. It is being talked about far more now then it was a decade agp
Ngl, all of my friends have really bad mental health. And being super, like really empathetic. It takes a toll on your mental health. A very very very big toll. You feel like you need to help them but you kinda feel useless and powerless because sometimes you don’t know how to comfort people and communicate. It sucks. Big time.
I was with her for 2 years and everything that was explained was on point I was so depressed a couple of months ago because she cut me off afterwards I thought I was the one who made the mistake but I admit I am not perfect but I should’ve enforced my boundaries don’t make the mistake that I did guys please have morals and respect for your self
as an empath who has had some pretty terrible experiences with a narcissist, i can’t help but wonder how they could be helped. just like BPD, it’s just a personality disorder that they can’t help, but they also almost never see those toxic traits in themselves, so it feels impossible to get them on a treatment plan. it’s weird to think about, but it makes me sad that these people simply can’t help it and are so demonized in society (because of the very real way they treat others) with no hope for bringing them into their humanity ://
I understand, we have compassion. But there is no way to help them if they dont want to be helped. As you said, plenty arent self aware and that's one thing. There are other who are and are happy for what they are because they get what they want which is to fill their void no matter the cost.
I came from an abusive home to an abusive relationship. I was 16 he was 24(he had lied bt his age) it’s hard for him to understand my feelings or others. Makes me feel crazy,mean,unloveable etc… when literally I never go a day without doing something for someone. Watching this video helped me realize I am such an empath focusing my life purpose on saving my family. This man is so difficult for me & I’ve been confused bcs he was on drugs and I could maybe be bipolar but fs adhd lol but now I’m just drained and totally mean. I am the abuser now and it’s so sad , all I wanted was love someone to care for me as I wanted to care/protect my loved ones to. He never loved me tho not even in the beginning it was just abuse,manipulation etc I feel so dumb and hopeless rn. I yell at him so bad and threaten to hurt him if he doesn’t leave me but he doesn’t even care. Then I cry and pray bt it bcs I don’t want this to b me! I never did 😢
I have a younger sister who fits this description 100%. I've seen her play all the narcissist cards with others in the family, but she did it in a different way with me. But a year ago, the game changed. She went off on me in a rant. She knows I'm an empath. I had my limit and reacted badly, cussing her out. Then she played the victim and turned it around on me. I almost took the bait that I was wrong for hurting her feelings (which I now know she has none). But I've also learned over the past 2 years how real her game is and that she likes to get ANY emotional response from me. I called her out on her bullshit. Of course as narcissists usually do, she got offended, justified her behavior and told me all the ways i harmed her. Then a week later she texted me a cute meme about sometimes family gets into arguments, but love each other and I responded with you'll always my sister ❤️ 💕 ♥️ and letf it alone. 😂😂😂 I haven't responded to her since. I have so much peace now. And energy to take care of my own needs now. I am Done! My emotional state is so much better when I don't stay in touch with her. And when she reaches out again, I'll delete her messages, not answer her calls and delete her phone messages, not listen to them at all.
Being an empath is like narcissism in reverse, being so concerned for everyone else’s good that they neglected their own good, I don’t know what exactly fits the criteria for being an empath, but I sure as hell no I’ve dealt with a narcissist in my life and I kind of relate to a lot of what was said in this video
So much wisdom in this video and on this channel, clarity I wish I had before 2 years of hell with a narcissist. I love your videos and have learned a lot about myself from them. I will no longer give out love in the hope of receiving it back. I’ll give love genuinely, but with boundaries to protect my heart and my goodwill. Thank you ❤
Literally just yesterday I told a friend “man I could really help my ex if I could just convince him to go to pride”. Its not my business anymore, I just need to focus on myself but its so hard to do. What I struggle with the most is the fact that my ex grew up in an extremely broken household and I believe he loved me, but didnt know how to express his love. I do believe he was a narcissist in the fact that he did things for himself, but I dont believe it was to hurt me, moreso to protect himself in weird ways.
Excellent video. Spot on with so many insights in such brief way. I watched 3 times to grasp the content in full which just reiterates what my experience was. Gladly in my case, I am not much of an empath so the Narc didn't last long. I was out of it in just over 3 months. Even then, not without wounds which are still pending to be healed.
I separated myself from the narcissist in my life back in February of this year. They did some terrible things to fellow coworkers/friends that I was wary of... and then did something absolutely terrible that I could no longer stand. For awhile, I did think it was my fault for not catching on sooner and attempting to address the problems, but as time went on, I know there wasn't any better decision I could have made other than to walk away. Now they've disappeared from the social platform, and I hope its for everyone's benefit.
Sadly this all describes the man my mother married, he's used me for my money, and never even thanked me in the process. Since moving in, he has done a lot of very aggressive assertive, and dominating actions towards me, and the moment I'd set my boundaries and stopped interacting with him entirely, he brought me a Christmas present as a bribe to try and get me hooked back in. I thanked him, wished him Merry Christmas, and it didn't change anything as I'm still staying away from him (my family have also wiped me out over him, believing his charms are all real and not fake.) I'll be moving out soon, so it'll be such a relief to just get away from it all 💜 never be afraid to set your boundaries, and do what you need to for your well-being
I've been watching your videos over the years and I'm still confused about myself because while I identify myself more as an empath, I find that I also have narcissistic traits.
"Narcissists will never fulfill the covert contract" so true. For me there was the realization that my Sociopathic ex, would never agree to repairing the psychic injuries: hidden cell phones, devices full of sexting, days of secret meetings, being abandoned when sick, disrespectful treatment, withheld affection, so I doubled down on the giving, a new horse and all the accessories and things only got worse
I'm glad they mentioned that, even in a workplace situation, a narcissist is extremely dangerous. My previous job site was absolutely ruined by a textbook narc. For the first year he was there, he did the work equivalent of "love-bombing", making everyone, myself included, think he was a great person. Then the toxic behavior started, and it never stopped. I was a shift supervisor at this site. I was very surprised, when one of our newer employees, who was female, told me that this guy was bullying her. He was, and was ALMOST fired for it. If only he had been! He got away with the bullying, unfortunately, and immediately began making frivolous, obviously retaliatory complaints against this poor lady. This guy, who claimed to have extensive management experience, DEMANDED that my boss and I write her up, for various supposed infractions, based on his word alone. When we explained to him that, obviously, we couldn't do that, we became his targets. This narcissist made up more outlandish nonsense about the three of us, than would fit in a large book. All of the less-intelligent employees were quickly deceived by him, and became his "flying monkeys". Numerous people lost their jobs because they were caught up in his crap, and he completely destroyed morale at the site. Others who witnessed his abusive behavior, were evidently afraid of him, because they all refused to speak out. This individual was sneaking around with cameras and recording devices, and trying to entrap us into saying things he could use against us. Every day, was some new outrage. He made his flying monkeys sit down and write slanderous letters about us, denouncing us to the company higher-ups (who were singularly useless, when it came to backing us up). At one point, I finally got the company to remove him from the schedule, but he used his manipulation tactics to get sent back. My boss, who was near retirement, was summarily and unfairly fired, on the grounds that he should have somehow been able to control the narcissist (he was trying. We were both trying, every day). Five months after the disastrous day that occurred, which was on a date famous for disaster, I had a plan. I had, by that point, no doubt that narcissism was the problem with this individual. I looked up everything I could find about it, and then waited until the next time I had to be alone in a room with him (always a distasteful situation). As soon as he started his boasting and bragging about how great he was, I very pointedly rolled my eyes at him. That was all it took. For about two weeks afterward, he ran around squealing and whining to everyone in sight, that I had rolled my eyes at him. Finally it got so obnoxious, that even some of his flying monkeys got sick of him, and they fired him. I stayed at that job for another nine months, but it never felt right there again. People I had known for years and years, had been turned against me by the narcissist. My boss had been replaced by the very worst person possible, other than the narcissist (which had been his intention). He was still calling people from home, after being fired, and trying to cause problems remotely. That place was permanently tainted by the narcissist. All for no reason. I can't imagine how destructive it would be, to date or marry one of them.
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
Have you ever been in love with a narcissist?
Unfortunately 😢
Yes I find them really hard to read and there very often have little emotions to me
No
I have to go to school
I was married to one 😔 the toll it took on my body I still feel today.
It's not just narcissists. Being an empath is a curse most days. All the people I try to help and are always there for are so rarely there for me when I need it most.
Same here. It pisses me off.
Stop being a therapist for free. You won't feel bad. Start charging for your time.
I think you should fill your own cup and set boundaries. Being an empath could make you feel it’s a curse most days when you’re not learning that. But I do believe being an empath is way far from being a curse. I believe it’s a blessing. It just prove that you are powerful and very connected, but to see it, you need to see yourself first. ✨ I send you love and strength 🙏🏾💪🏾💕
I agree, I check up on alot of people but they never check up on me...but that's how it is I guess
Wh you just gotta put your foot done, boundaries. It sucks though cause we usually have a good heart
The biggest problem is empaths can only learn this genuinely when it's too late.
I've been in a lot of pain for a long time since learning these matters.
Soooo true
Jesus Saves 🙏
You're very right.
@@austinshaw1784 RELIGION IS NARCISSISM. Love me above all others or else you will go to hell. - literally textbook abuse.
"A karmic lesson of exactly what love is not" "Love does not involve abuse". So simple so true.
No woman is happy 💀
Yes, I feel bad for people who fall for the twin flame nonsense
@@Ariespath9 oh, look, a narcissist
Not true
Kicked a narcissist out of my life on August 1st 2021, my life has never felt better.!!!!
I am an empath and tried to help a friend narcissist but she never wanted to change her ways. Every time we hung out was for her own selfish benefit. If she was not getting private DMs from random guys (on social media) from the memories we made together, she wouldn’t enjoy her time with me. Always on her phone and displaying this false reality but she is struggling and living a fake life. Her masks fall off. I cut her off for good. She never listened to my advice, took advance of my kindness-generosity and attacked family. She was too clingy, manipulative and drained my energy while I was with her. I’m so glad I’m free from the shackles and able to recharge, grow and move on from this. Our friendship only lasted for 6 months. A good learning experience.
So sad to see so many people relating to having an experience like this with a narcissist. It’s important to avoid these warning signs. It’s never worth it 😢
It’s true. How do you think people should avoid the situation?
It's fucked up when the narcissist is a family member. You need to meet them for your whole life
My dad is a narcissist, it’s so hard with him. Also I see u comment everywhere LMAOO
@@quit83636 I think someome in my family is also. The person suffered trauma thought I'd mention that. But they lack empathy and only think of their own self gain. I try to connect with them, teach them but they are not open to accepting the reality and lack humility. I'm trying my best but feel like giving up sometimes. The person is very jokey, has bad vibes and mocks a lot. So I can never have a normal valuable convo with them if need be. I DNT kW wat to do
I swear I see you everywhere
Timestamps
1). Narcissists will never fullfill the covert contract 1:01
2). You can't save someone who doesn't want it 2:37
3). Emotions can't replace your brain 3:57
4). Narcissists are disordered and morally bankrupt 5:22
5). It's all a fantasy it's not real 6:59
6). Abuse means genuine love was never part of the picture 7:51
Hope this helps you out. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you for the timestamps
You js spoiled the video for me🤦♀️ Was so excited to see the things in the video instead of a comment section.
@@Aya_754 just watch the video first then check the comment section
@@Aya_754 sorry about that
@@Aya_754 damn chill, it’s a video psychology what “spoilers” are you talking about 😭
Once, a nascissist told me i was being selfish for setting boundaries and putting my healthcare first, can you believe it?? Thanks for the helpful video!
Yes, I can believe it, this person thing you only live for them and they are the owners of your body, congratulations on blocking him!
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's important to put yourself first!
I had similar. Mine said that I was clingy for wanting basic reliable communication, they were my best friend and actively said they wanted to be friends, for context.
Narcissism is like a dormant mind-virus that can cause itself to activate and spread via toxic behaviour causing others to be toxic. Truly, truly, I have lost count of how many damaged women I've known who told themselves and everyone else that they're lovely empaths, who had their minds warped by a far more toxic boyfriend. This scenario has happened to me repeatedly in life:
The lady comes crying to me all emotionally mixed up. "Wah wah wah I hate my boyfriend / husband. He's no good. Abusive even. I can't leave him though. Parent X did terrible thing Y when he was Z years old.
So I've been cheating on him, even having full-on affairs behind his back, and now I'm toxic trauma dumping on you, as I lead you on with a kiss and a fondle and get your hopes up. Then after you spend a week or two trying to get me to dump his toxic rear, all stressed out on my behalf due to my remarks about possible self-harm, I'm going to go ice cold on you, and treat you like a delusional incel who I never led on"
And so an extremely Toxic boyfriend caused a toxic, cheating, manipulative, emotionally abusive girlfriend to happen to other men. Who then likely became a bit toxic themselves and so the merry-go-round of horror continues.
Shoutout to a 'radical feminist' ex of mine who melodramatically whinged about a boyfriend who wasn't keen on doing household chores as though he was extremely abusive, led me on then showed no interest, after years of me running around picking up the pieces after every drama, only for her to be completely useless when I had a *truly serious* crisis going on, blank me, not reply to my texts.
Later on I found out she was one of a rancid, semi-incestuous circle of cheaters who'd all had affairs with each other behind their partners backs. This One True 'Feminist' 'empath' was actually:
A cheating, manipulative, emotionally unstable, hypersensitive covert narcissist deluding herself and fooling others into believing she's an empath and never once did anything wrong.
@@marylu2216 I hate to have to tell you this, but this kind of reaction is exactly what this wally wants.
The absolute best thing you can do is just ignore them, or if you must, report them for constant harrassment.
I'm not generally a fan of reporting people, but sometimes needs must!
There are two rules of the internet that everyone should be taught before you ever go online:
1. Don't feed the trolls.
2. Don't argue with idiots, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with their superior experience.
I break these rules all the time, but that's because I myself am a semi-reformed Master Troll, who feasts daily on amateur trolls and plays with their minds for my own dark amusement.
As an empathic child of a narcissistic mother, who still won’t respect my boundaries after I cut her off, I have to say to anyone who will read this… YOU ARE WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and just bc someone’s family doesn’t mean you have to stay around them.
I needed this. My mother is a narcissistic and it’s been a long journey of not wanting to cut ties with her but yet it draining me entirely.
i'm in the same stuff 😂
Same here.. Narc mom...
It took me until 40 years old to finally cut mine off and it was hard to shake her because her and my brother are two of the same.now both of them went no contact with me trying to punish me for not playing the game anymore and I let that be the time when I did the same. They tried to slander my name to others but I zoned it out and stopped caring. If it hit the ears of a person who believes that so be it.Ive been free for a few years and man feels great!!!
Yeah.... an abusive home into an abusive marriage to a narcissist....over 25 yrs later I'm 51 and have been on my own for the last 5 yrs. Intense therapy and finally learning to live for myself and this video is seriously SPOT ON.
I'm so sorry, glad you're FINALLY out of there once and for all, and hopefully you can avoid any narcissist that gets in your path. Do you have any advice on how to not get caught in a relationship with a narcissist? I grew up with a narcissistic parent and I was confident that I'd be able to identify when I was around one, but a lot of people say growing up with a narcissist actually makes it more likely you'll miss the signs.
Good for you, I’m happy you got out of that and are getting healthier every day, we love to see it!!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Yes Julia the years were the same for me and your age at the time also. I am 65 now it took me almost 10 years to figure all this crap out. I still listen and get informed about narcissism. I have a neighbor that I moved next door that is a huge narcissist huge huge. at first it frightened me me to have it happen again and then with the information that I knew and the confidence that I have built up by watching these crazy narcissist videos, my confidence just soared. now practice on her but only when necessary. We have to be careful however, these people are so tricky and can pull an empath away from the truth of who they are quickly.
@@gianna526 Dr Ramini
Well done you. I amsimilar, my mother was a narcissist and I went into codependent relationship with emotionally abusive partner. 22 years later making decision to leave. I am now 67 and wish it hadnt taken me so lomg to learn about narcissim. My partner is a so iopath with narcissitic traits too. It
has been a hard journeybut I have finally learned the truth! cx
It hurts even more when the narcissists are actually your parents :(
It truly does.. how is your relationship with parents like?
@@Psych2go distant and annoying. They’re still immature
Hope you two will finally get good and caring people around you !
@@Psych2go They usually get me to do want they want and don't try to listen to my pov and sometimes even manipulative
I don't know for sure about my dad , where as my mom, yes she's a total narc
She starts to shout when I try to oppose her and sometimes throws stuff at me to make me do her work
PS : I LIVE WITH THEM 😭😭
AND OFTEN THEY ARE YOUR PARENTS
I was infatuated with a narcissist about seven years ago and I had not been in a relationship before so I had no idea what a normal relationship looked like. She made my life hell, playing with my emotions, leaving me out in the cold and then hooking me back in when her supply was low. It took me a whole year and a half and an internet article to realise just exactly what she was and to get the hell out of there. Ended up cutting all contact with her and my life has much improved since then.
Ya this all so true
This is like the worst karmic experience possible for an empath, thus we get proper stronger barriers and safer from abuse after going through it. We just learn a lot, because it hurts us so much that we never want to go through this again. Truth is, the narcissist can't live without an empath to feed on their ego. So they just keep going from one victim to another. The emptiness of their heart, is by definiton, their own punishment. Let go and be free, there's always another empath who will apreciate you the way you really deserve 💜
Very well said! The whole experience creates some kind of upgrade in an empath that makes our intuition grow stronger like a super fine tuned instrument. Then , suddenly, we start noticing really nasty things in others, not only in potential romantic partners. It feels like an awakening or as if a veil was removed for good.
@@omararturoramirez5262but, How to heal from that? I feel so hurt 😢
I really like the level of detail you go through to deconstruct narcissism in a concise manner. My sisters and I have all three been involved in romantic situations with narcissists. Everything the empath does in that situation comes under scrutiny, because they are now an extension of the narcissist, rather than their own person. It's an absolutely horrifying situation to find yourself in. I can't thank you enough for making this content so accessible to everyone; it is instrumental in helping people escape abusive situations.
Exactly.
We have to separate to find ourselves again.
I'm doing that right now.
(Escape plan in action)
It's bizarre how they can twist things to make you look guilty.
I lost myself, now I'm getting me back.
Good friends who have been through this helps.
This all sounds like Leftism 101: the victim groups that continually expand the definitions of how they are victims of society or just anyone who isn't them, with their "lived experience" that is somehow YOUR problem to continually fix for them.
Ive been having a hard time getting over my ex who was a narcissist. I broke up with her because of her repeated mental and emotional abuse but i still have all these feelings im trying to get rid of. This video really helped me put things into perspective and think about the situation logically. It has helped me move forward. Thank you so much! Love!
I almost feel sorry for men rather than women, dealing with Narcissistic romantic partners.
Men are largely the majority of (endless) Romantic.
I know this because I was 35 years a Florist....Hopeless romantics keeps the industry going.
Men mostly.
Sorry for your pain in separating.
I hope this helps.
Pray for
"Emotional detachment"
I just broke off a 7 month relationship last month bc she was through and through a narcissist. Always using me and taking, and never giving in return. I feel like I'm going crazy with all this chatter in my head. I maybe get 4 hours of sleep now a days -.-" Freaking women man...2nd one I've dealt with.
As an empath, I have to say it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. If I’m surrounded by people who are all stressed out, I will absorb that, and feel stressed out as well, which isn’t great when I don’t know why I’m stressed. I’m so happy to help people out, but too much is too much, if multiple people are dumping their emotions and situations on me, it gets hard to keep up, we just need a break sometimes. It also gets stressful with arguments, arguing can be fun, but at some point it gets to be too much. I’m also diagnosed with anxiety, which doesn’t help. So I may be anxious, and everybody can usually tell. I try not to make a big deal out of it if I am because it usually isn’t a big deal, I just have to push through with logic, and rationality. Sometimes though I need a little extra help, an outside voice to tell me its nothing to worry about.
POV: you got a bot trying to “fix your relationship”
I’ve never been in a relationship 🤦♀️
Congrats you described what an empath is
this is me as well
Being an empath is mostly a trauma response. We learned to be hyper attuned to the energies (emotions) of the people around us because we had to in order to stay as safe as possible. As adults we now are walking alerts for negative energies/emotions for that reason. Subconsciously we still feel the need to protect us by gaining a certain degree of predictabilty. It's a coping mechanism. Being aware of this/becoming conscious of it helps a lot to set healthier boundaries. Then it is more of a gift than a curse that we developed empathetic skills.
Everyone Find ourselves as Empath & the other person as Narc.
My first relationship was with a narcissist. It was a really hard pill to swallow realizing it was never “real” during the 2 years I spent with him. I’m over that dirt bag now, but I’m still recovering from the self hatred of why I let myself get into that situation and why I didn’t get out sooner. I wish I never met him because of all the trauma and hurt, but at the same time its made me more aware and independent. If you’re going through this with your partner, please leave them. You deserve and are worthy of true love, no matter what they tell you. Don’t let them get inside that beautiful mind of yours.
I'm glad for this experience, I learned a lot, a lot about myself, what I deserve, how to love myself, and what to watch out for. Going to avoid making this mistake again and wasting time.
I feel you...
Worst experience ever. I'm still healing and learning about narcissism. Thank you for this video ❤️
Just got out from this kind of relationship. It sucks 😞
She manipulated me the whole time, she made me believe with those sickening lies. I never ever thought I'd encounter a narcissist in my entire life. Thank you psych2go for these kind of videos, it would really help a lot of people especially those who are experiencing this rn. They need to get out from that grasp asap.
Bro, I'm sorry for what you had to go through, everything is going to get better!
The hardest and most agony thing for me to learn from my covert narcissistic "situationship" (because to a narcissist your not in a "relationship" or a "marriage") was .. she just didnt care, which i had to learn to acept and it helped me find closure.. was that .. she just didnt care.. and she never did.. it was all a game of power and control... and once i saw this... i told myself.. so why should I care.. and that was when I learned to let go and heal.. but its so hard..
This video resonates with me & my most recent relationship that I've struggled with for so long & finally left a little over a month ago.It is a very bitter pill to swallow,especially the fact that it was all an illusion to supply & validate the twisted narcissist! I appreciate the wisdom of knowing that "time lost" is far better to acknowledge,than to continue to waste more precious time,catering to these misfits.They really do make you feel more frustrated,lonely,& invisible,with zero return of compassion or empathy.The Narc that I was involved with has been reaching out to me since I've left gaslighting,deflecting,lying,& refusing any accountability for the deceitful cheating creature that I had found them out to be! It's mind-blowing by any standard. I've never encountered someone who would take so much,& give zero in return. Thank you for these bitter pills of truth,as it tied up a lot of loose ends in why I was doing what I was doing,for so long even though the red flags were evident since the beginning. My sympathies to all going through & having gone through this trauma!🕊✨️
Same experience.
Same experience 🌺🕊
Everything in this video has happened to me recently with a narcissist friend. We’re no longer friends now but I have learned a lot from this experience. In the end I’m sad that I’ve lost someone I thought was a friend but on the other end I’m glad I’ve cut her out of my life. The drama was emotionally draining
Hi I'm 18 years old and I'm from the Philippines,Iam glad to say that I am now taking my undergraduate study in BS-PSYCHOLOGY for the years of watching this RUclips channel,thanks Psych2go for helping and inspiring the youth like me in the knowledge of our mental health.
BS-psychology? like as in bullshit psychology lol?
Congratulations! 😊
@@dietofvormsIt means "Bachelor in Science". What you said was very disrespectful.
@@woozywolf_ LMFAOOOO
I feel like I have narcissistic tendencies from a rough childhood and early teen life, and yet I also still remember the empath I was who always wanted to make everything better (even though I was eventually broken). Now I am watching the only person who ever accepted me for who I was, and showed me unconditional love reach her breaking point and have to walk away from 12 beautiful and challenging years, because of my stupid patterns. I'm cycling through all of the stages of grief while trying to find the strength to better myself without an alterior motive, failing miserably because I've lost all respect for myself, by how I've hurt such a beautiful being, and the only thing that's getting me through it is just looking at it all and collapsing in to tears as I realize that it's probably too late, and she is doing what is best for her, which ultimately is best for us... I guess...
I hate this so much.
It's the hardest thing I've ever experienced. If only I had realized these things sooner, I could've gotten out of my head and taken the time to listen.
This isn't a cry for help, just a digital sand mandala of generational pain. We have a beautiful 5 year old son together, so we will always be connected, but to think that I wasn't there for her the way she way was for me, brings me the most agonizing sadness and anger that I've ever felt.
I guess if anything, I'd like to say some of us out here don't just cut people off or surrender to apathy when we don't get what we want, but the urge to do so was there like a parasite trying to take control of my body and mind. Honestly I'm probably lucky to be a little schizo because I was able to play the dark stuff out enough to see it as an aspect of myself that *I* need to be present with and not project onto someone who has been there for me through thick and thin........ even if I can't be the one who meets her needs.... what I would give to overcome these things and come back to win one for the home team.
I could've been the first in my family to do it right, but it looks like the only constellation I will have might be knowing that her and my son are happy and bettering myself because it's never too late, and life's too precious to throw away, even when it seems impossible to cope with.
This is my breaking point. I'll never forget this feeling.
God bless you! I hope you find your light.
Asa, writing this was very brave and shows a lot of growth and I'm proud of you. I hope you heal and find peace and happiness.
@@aliendeathrocker Thank you. It's been a challenging journey going back and looking at myself, my actions, and my mind. I still have a long way to go, but I can gladly say It's happening.
This has really helped me to realize that this was the exact relationship I had with my dad
Ive come to realize that ive really needed to get away from him or stick up for myself this really helped me realize my own self importance and that the way he acted was not right thank you
I’m glad you were able to come to a realization. How is your relationship with your dad now?
@@Psych2go I don't see him anymore and I'm happier now than I was then
I like that you said you needed to get away from him or stick up for yourself. When I have been in difficult situations, it has been hard for me to remember my options. And sometimes problems do get resolved simply by standing up for yourself. When it doesn't...the problem is with them. Not you.
I was married to one for almost 20years, knew her for 26, and it hurt to have this realization recently. I had to get rid of the idea that they ever cared about me. The most painful thing honestly was the time that I lost and can never get back. It's not even the fact that I will have trust issues for years to come if not permanently. It really is the time. After an explosive moment which forced her hand to pack up and leave, our children who are all with me by their choice, see their mother for the person she is. Unmasked and persona exposed, she tucked tail with embarrassment because the children which have been a shield and sword for her were no longer available, and they saw that they too were being wielded for her own needs and selfish battles. Everything is all about her, and they saw it in 8k HD.
If you have or are dealing with this, cut the cord. It is the best thing to do for yourself. You are definitely not alone in your experiences. It will take time, and I have no idea how much, but like all things in life....this too shall pass. The sun will come up, and it will go down. Life is there to be had between then.
sorry to hear that just got out of a relationship with one such a terrible experience honestly
This I believe doesn’t only apply in an intimate relationship, but in a ‘friendship’ as well.
Been super close with a narcissist for a good 3 years of my youth. We had so much in common and it seemed like only he could understand me as a friend.
Unfortunately no, time and time again I was emotionally walloped by him and had me thinking I’m the one who always messed up. Until a week ago I completely dropped him without a word. Keynote here:
“Dude what happened?”
“Did something go wrong?”
Don’t explain, a narcissist doesn’t self reflect.
Point is, if you’ve ever got hung up over a narcissist, don’t forget that the world is full of beautiful people and I’ve had the pleasure of meeting so many of them❤️ To those who’re still recovering and trying to grasp a sense of reality, hang in there there is so much more to life❤️💯🥰
This sounds exactly like a relationship with a narcissist I got out of last year. I think this is one of the first videos of yours that’s actually triggered me, but in a productive way if that makes sense. I’ve been working on acknowledging the trauma I’ve went through instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. This way I can actually start to heal❤
This is so accurate.
I've exhausted my relationship with my relatives thanks to the fact that my dad gets power trips from controlling people or things and my mom used my empathy against me by playing the victim card all the time to earn favors.
Things would basically happen this way:
Our pet needs help. "But your father will become furious with the bills! Oh he controls me so much I am so powerless i cant even pay a vet please never get married love is a lie!" My dad is cold towards the pet thanks to the attention they're getting, because he's a jerk who can't tolerate sharing his family, belongings and house with someone else, backing my mom's stories. Cue me spending the little money I had because I love my pet and also believing my mom was being controlled by a freak (emotional manipulation, gatekeeping my potential relationships, financial abuse). "Don't let your father find out the pet has been to the vet or he will be furious!!" My dad never hears from it. Calls me out because I never moved out of their place, says I never help with shit (after all, he never learns that I'm solo carrying vet bills on my minimum wage which rendered me unable to move out). We fight. Later I'd overhear my mom going full double agent style and trashing me to my dad to gain brownie points with him. The other day she'd feign sympathy by trashing my dad to me to gain brownie points with me. Yet if I argued with him in her presence, she'd take his side and both of them would back me into a corner by supporting each other and calling me unstable/spoiled/unbearable. I'm forced to shut up, retreat, and later she'd either go "why are you so angry? Your dad is a good man!!!" or "you have to stop talking back, I had to take his side for you!" Or "I cannot tolerate the way you two argue anymore, I do everything to calm both of you down I just want some peace and quiet I should just run away or kms!"
She literally thrived off this chaos for years until I realized this wasn't normal family crap. Then I slowly became numb. I talk to them only if i cant avoid it, and when I do I have to force myself to pretend im perfectly fine. I can barely feel anything for people anymore, I just care about my fur baby lmao
Omg...same thing happened to us when we had our cat. Everyone loved her except him. I never even peeped that the fact that he was not getting all the attention was the reason why 🤯
Anytime my narc father was on one of his tirades and we tried to stand up for ourselves our mother would tell us to "shut up", "Children don't swear at Adults" (Gambian [African] Proverb), "He didn't mean it", "You dont understand what he means" or some other bullshit. Meanwhile he beat on us like we were tambourines. Thankfully my siblings (with the exception of 1) are nothing like them and chose to see the light. It's hard when it's a parent let alone 2. However no act of cruelty like this goes unpunished. Hang in there bud 💛
@@FutureFendiFsnista I'm so sorry you've gone through similar experiences before. The powerlessness and confusion that came from growing up in an environment full of mixed messages screwed up my head big time, I hope you managed to heal if it happened to you too 😔
The weird thing about my fam is that... Sometimes, both of my narcs would be nice to the pets, eventually love bomb them (it's not unusual for my mom to pamper a pet for a while and my dad show up claiming she's not giving him enough attention because of them), yet sometimes they'd work against them, other times they'd blatantly neglect them like in the example above, next they'd prioritize anything except the pet while claiming they love them. My mom had a weird hecking habit of buying snacks, toys and gifts to other relatives' pets and not doing the same for hours. I've even questioned her before, "why don't you bring some for ours?" But there's no clear answer.
I've seen them sometimes cry when no one was looking when we lost pets in the past, tough, so I'm inclined to believe they maybe do/did kind of, sort of love them. It's just a really freaking weird way to "love" someone, idk. Must be a constant struggle to ponder over whether an action is working on your side or not all the damn time. I'm not a mental health professional so I'm not sure if I can backup my argument about their true feelings much 😅 That doesn't mean I'm okay with their behavior, though. Everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally by their parents, fur babies included...
Grew up with one as a father. I recognize them when I see them, and often have to tell my friends that they are dealing with a narcissist. They usually don't believe me until it's over, which is typical for such a relationship. It's sad and it sucks.
My narcissist blamed me for 14 years that I wasn't trying hard enough to fill her needs. She even blamed me for being the narcissist and claimed I was emotionally abusing her trying to elicit more sympathy. I finally said enough and have felt so much better. I needed to learn to respect myself. I miss her some days, but the more I discover myself again the less I ever want to go back to that. Thanks
ah yes, a narcissist. my ex was a narcissist, on the outside she's the council president in school and netball captain too. at the end of the relationship i realised she was only using me and she has no regrets. she dated me when i was still naive about narcissists and left me when she felt 'bored'. narcissists are MANIPULATIVE and we should not go back to hurt ourselves again. don't give them a chance 😢‼️
I’m so sorry to hear that… what did you take away from the experience?
@@Psych2go well, I hope we can all be cautious about seeing both the good and bad sides of a person and not only the 'good side', which is very important. Also, even though a narcissist may leave a bitter taste in you after the relationship, stay true to yourself and people who still care for you!
also relationships aren't everything, take care of your emotional well-being too, for example, learn to love yourself and learn to be happy without depending on others :)
This video is great. The only thing I have to say is everyone isn't just one or the other but people can switch between them. I've had issues with a narcissistic experience with my ex's but I've also been the narcissistic person in relationships.
I'm not an empath, at least I don't feel like I am, but I was in a relationship with a narcissist for years and, yeah, it was hell. That last pill was oh so hard to swallow, but once I accepted it suddenly everything made sense. And more importantly: once I accepted it, only then I was truly free again.
Scarily this describes my previous relationship (and partner) to a tee. And I lived that for ten years, ten years where he slowly, carefully removed all my support networks so I only had him to rely on. Between the physical, sexual abuse that followed I'm not sure how I survived but I'm glad I'm free from that, from him now - though my confidence still suffers as a result for the moment.
I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, you're on the other side, congratulations!
So sorry to hear that.. 10 years is a lot of time gone.. How are you moving on now?
@@Psych2go I removed his stuff from my house, all bills in my name - the physical stuff was easy, the emotional stuff less so. I've gone through a series of conflicting feels, I even felt guilty at points like I abandoned him - he'd so insidiously weaved his way into my life that I felt lost without him. I remember the first time I had to go shopping by myself I was absolutely terrified, it was all alien because I was boxed to our home for years (he didn't like me leaving the flat). Now? I love going out, not being beholden to someone, I love simple things like getting groceries. I'm still nervous at times but the more time goes by the stronger I feel and one thing I know now I will NEVER let myself fall into this trap again. I deserved better than that, I deserve better than that 🙂
@@-Chrome-thank you 🙂💕
I'm so glad you made it. Ten years is a long time and I find it inspiring that you're making your way still. Best of luck to you ❤Stay safe and take care
Honestly one of the hardest things about breaking free from a toxic relationship like this and educating yourself on narcissists and the like; is seeing people in your life readily run to or stay to these types of relationships. You see the wolf in sheep's clothing and know what they're going to do and why they do it, but all this knowledge can't save others 😞.
Us preaching about needing self-love/respect, but them defending all of their emotional and verbal abuse. They tolerate everything until they perform a final taboo like cheating but even then, they view it as something to fix/work on. It's so heartbreaking 😞😞😞
I'm a diagnosed narcissist, I take pills for situations I caused. And it's just frustrating how they put us as bad people. Narcissism it's a disorder, such as ADHD and OCD, which means that's it's not our choice to be like this. Yes, we need help and maybe prescriptions, but that does not mean that we like seeing people get hurt.
i think that your self awareness is great but it’s not that people are portraying it as bad: it’s that real people are being hurt by this condition and what’s more is that the nature of the condition makes it hard to diagnose because how many narcissists can admit they are? it becomes a toxic cycle that harms the people involved but i am so glad that you are getting help and trying. i wish more people would.
How did you diagnose you as a narcissist. Pls let us know honestly.
@@De-tw7by I was sent to a psychologist from school, from bad things I provoked. The psychologist said I had a strange behavior from my age, and that we had to work in my state of mind about other people. She referred me to other mental field doctors, I didn't know anything until they told my parents, that I got diagnosed as a narcissist. I got in a horrible denial, bc of course I thought I knew better than them, and they gave me pills for my impulses. And in then I just accept and tried my best to keep people save from my narcissism.
@@oopsiedaisy8494 I'm glad you're getting help and I truly hope you're able to heal.
I like that they show the empath defeating the narcissist through the narrations. It gives hope to relationships that may be struggling in this way
Results may vary, of course. (Still, good luck.)
@@normanclatcher Very true!
Hard to swallow pills? More like liberating truths! ✨ yeah, it’s heartbreaking and mentally draining to break free from a narcissist, but realizing you are the one in charge to break the spell turns out to be very empowering too, in the aftermath, of course.
I'm so grateful for channels like this. Making mental health content accessible for the public and those without agency.
My mother is a narcissist while I'm an empath. She always made me feel like I was responsible for her feelings and her happiness and like raising me was such hard work that I simply had to do anything she wants like I owed her my service. But I never asked her to raise me. I even told her the opposite multiple times. But I still feel like I have to serve others to be useful so I can be worthy of my place in the community. It's so hard to unlearn such deep beliefs...
Listening to this was like listening to the story of my marriage. We have been separated for nearly 3 years and I am still broken by it. Thank you for this as it has helped me on my way to understanding
I'm definitely an empath and I have come to learn that kindness really pays off. I enjoy it too.
Not sure if this was a narcissist, but I once met a kid online that was a complete drama queen. Everytime I joined their chat lobby, they would always demand control over the situation and whine when they didn't get their way. I've been cursed out many times by this kid. They also often played the victim when they didn't get their way, just sitting in a corner and going "woe is me.." And sometimes, that's all they ever did, regardless.
As an empath, I did try to offer a different perspective and a hand up out of this pit of theirs, but it never worked. In fact, I don't think they ever showed any empathy or kindness at all, even when I apologized. Eventually, I started to just roll my eyes - "Not this again..."
Luckily I was able to pick up on this fairly quickly and was drained to the point of, "I'm wasting my time." And cut off all contact with this kid. If they get upset over it, well.. I don't think I really care anymore.
They may or may not have needed some help, but clearly I'm not the person for this. I'm outta here.
This was an awesome presentation on narc/empath relationships. It’s so incredibly painful to walk away and move on. Like the video pointed out, narcs are so good and filling emotional voids with a complete fantasy. Once they know we’re hooked, we’re dumped on our face. I’m not sure if they ever cared. The jury still out on that point for me, but I have to carry on as though it was all fake. Romanticizing the idea that any of the relationship was sincere is the first step back to abuse and misery.
Great video as always!!
As an empath I have been in many fake friendships and have 100% been taken advantage of and it really hurts it feels like someone stabbed you in the heart but it’s okay because now I found real friends who care and support me and really have my best interest at heart ❤ I’ve moved on and feel safe now sure I still think about my old “friends” but that’s something that I can learn from and I hope that if anyone is in a toxic friendship If you see this I want you to know it will be okay and you will move on you won’t forget it but you will be okay and safe one day
Ya
Living with a narcissist right now. Crashing with a friend temporarily while I figure out my next steps. Can't afford to pay two rents for the remainder of the lease so going to house sit as much as I can and visit my family at the end of december. Moving in February. Each day is agonizing and draining living with a narcissist. I can only truly rest when I am out of that space.
Not all narcissists are evil, an example; my narcissistic bf is a diagnosed narcissist and he was very manipulative and self centered but also at times generous, but he noticed his manipulative traits and he’s working on bettering himself, I feel he truly loves me, he isn’t evil he’s just sick.
Im an Empath and i feel like my brother is a Narcissist from what you say. At a young age he would always pretend to be nice and be my friend only to harm me further. i cared a lot about others and always forgave him without realising he would just use it to hurt me more. He wouldn't only bring harm to me, but to others and I would just have to go through it. Everything you say described him.
Question them too much or put too many boundaries down, they block you first, deeming you as a serious threat, espcially if you try to make them accountable for misdeeds
I’ve never considered my best friend a narcissist. We’ve had this beautiful friendship for almost 5 years now. We’ve always supported each other, we’ve always cared for each other, we’ve always been there for each other. It seemed like the perfect friendship to me, so much so that I put her up in a pedestal and saw her as this glorious being. We’ve had our disagreements and to me that’s a normal part of any relationship because even though we understood each other in such deep levels i could acknowledge the fact that we weren’t the same. She said that I’m her soulmate. The thing is, there have been times when I’ve felt like my feelings have been disregarded and I hadn’t had the courage to ever say anything about it because like the video explained i had this gut feeling that would tell me that she wouldn’t be able to put herself in my shoes. I was right, my gut feeling never fails me. I confronted her about it through text like a day ago. A month ago we were so good, hanging out, communicating consistently and it was great but suddenly and to me out of nowhere she disappeared, with no explanation. This is something she’s done in the past and i just had to learn to respect it because my gut would tell me that I shouldn’t say anything because she wouldn’t be able to understand my feelings. So basically this past month shes been dealing with some personal things as I imagined and I respect that she took her space to better understand herself, her emotions, what she’s going through. To me it’s very important for her to do that, to take her space in order to be able to get to a better place mentally. But i was hurt because it all happened so suddenly and out of nowhere i knew nothing about her, i was worried, i was concerned, i was scared. So many questions ran through my head, so many negative thoughts. I thought my best friend had abandoned me. In the midst of all this i decided to confront her about it and i expressed how the way that she went on about it hurt me and she just didn’t care, she literally wrote “idc” because i was “making it about me”. I even ended up apologizing for “making it about me” and she just brushed it off as if my feelings meant nothing, as if my feelings weren’t valid. She literally invalidated my feelings and she even went about it in a rude way. She took her space because she needed to go through some things by herself, I completely respect that. It’s something that I’ve practiced all my life so i get it. What I don’t get is how she could not care about how that could affect the people that love and care for her, how her disappearing could’ve hurt her best friend. I was worried and of course I wanted to help, she didn’t need help and that’s fine but maybe she could’ve let me know that she was gonna take some time to heal herself by herself. I don’t think that’s selfish, I don’t think it’s selfish to believe that your best friend will take your emotions in to consideration before literally going MIA. She was even rude but I couldn’t take that to heart because it wasn’t about me. Basically I wasn’t allowed to feel any type of way because what she’s going through has nothing to do with me. I only expected her to say something like “hey, im going through something and it’s gonna take me some time, you probably won’t know about me for a while but I want you to know that i love you and I’ll get back to you at some point. Please don’t worry about me I’ll be fine, okay.” It’s like yes, do you, heal, take your space and all of the time you need, i support that. What i just can’t seem to understand is how she’s not able to see how the way that she went about it could’ve been damaging, is damaging. I love my best friend but I don’t believe I deserved to have my feelings shut down. I’m only human and I’m not perfect and maybe I’m wrong for expecting that from her but what can i say, that’s just me.
Every point hit so close on this one it felt targeted lol, I really am grasping at straws here trying as hard as I can to give my mother the benefit of the doubt despite the hard fact that she repeatedly abused me for years, it was a years long pattern, and at this point the only reason I'm even trying anymore is cause I grew up in foster care and wanted nothing more than a family. But she has no capacity for empathy, and I'm making a fool of myself trying to justify her abuse as some twisted form of something similar to love. But I can't in good conscience call it love, she has an attachment to me, but this really isn't love, I receive more love and kindness from random strangers than from her and if I accept this as love I'll accept anything as love. She chose to adopt me cause I was a traumatized child with high empathy and no idea that I deserved to have boundaries, not out of love. She didn't even care what her own husband thought, let alone what a neurodivergent child she just met thought. And for the record, this doesn't feel like waxing. I would *prefer* waxing to this. I want nothing more than to show her compassion and to give her the benefit of the doubt, but maybe I need to stop and accept that some people just aren't worth it. She doesn't want to change, she already thinks she's perfect. And even if by some miracle she changed her mind, she's infinitely more likely to lie to me or about me than to think for a moment she might not be perfect. I already blocked her because of the constant harassment, but then she called the cops on me in the middle of the night cause idk, ig she was desperately trying to get her food source to feed her ego back by harassing me even more? I don't know, I know she abuses me and she'll keep abusing me if I don't cut her out of my life, but I want to at least hear from her why, maybe it's genuinely an accident the years of constant abuse? Wow it looks even more desperate in writing than it sounds coming out of my mouth. This is gonna be a tough pill to swallow lol.
I just recently got out of a relationship, all of these were checked off and I didn’t even know it. I don’t think he even knew it either. Just blinded by anger and narcissism. I’m glad I got out before my daughter or I were physically truly hurt.
I remember watching these videos back in 2019 when I got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. I didn't realize how manipulative and emotionally abusive they were for a long until the following years. Then I realized that my parents inflicted a lot of similar treatment on me, and they still try to. In that relationship, I often thought "my parents have said these things to me before, so it must be okay and true." Now, I'm actively trying to cut contact with them, one step at a time, but they live so close by and are close with the rest of my family that I don't know how to avoid them if they retaliate
Cutting off supply is difficult enough for an empath on it's own, but when you have children with a narc it's heart wrenching.
I never thought I was an empath but I really like being kind but my mom makes me feel like I'm dumb and I know she's a narc because here's an exact quote from my Birthday she said: "Just think about (I forgot, maybe something about how it's my B-day) and how you have the *best mom ever*" and that's a very narcissistic quote.
Been learning a lot thanks to your channel, learning how protect my energy and not feel that guilty when i get a bad response in return, after doing something nice. Thanks ❤ 🌱
I have a lot of friends who don’t even realize are narcissistic, but I’m always there for them anyways. I will try to help them, and go way to far out of my comfort zone, yet they never want to help me emotionally or physically despite me doing it for them. Which I can understand sometimes, but you get sick of it, after so much time you spend on helping them, you get absolutely nothing in return besides a person you can hang out with.
I am a very empathetic person and sadly I fell in love with a narcissist, the first year of relationship she was so kind, so lovable, so warm and thoughtful, but after one year passed, she started to show her true self and well I let it happen I didn't accept or could see what she was doing to me cause I loved her and to be honest I still do, she broke up 3 times with me which I 2 of those times she wanted to come back and well I forgave her 2 times, the 3rd time I tried to get back to her and she just simply said "no" after all I did for her, she just dumped me like nothing, right know I'm struggling with depression after all of this, she made so many promises to me, she even told me we were going to get married. All just a fantasty.
As a person with autism who struggles with social skills, I find this deeply stigmatizing. You're basically saying people with social skills are caring, and people without social skills are uncaring. That's so stigmatizing and messed up. I might struggle with social skills, but I'm the most caring person around. I'm the only one who would comfort a depressed stranger, save a trapped bug, go to a homeless shelter and ask how I can help, and even date someone that I myself don't feel any attraction to just because I want THEM to feel better and less lonely. What if I really was better than everyone in my whole dorm? I'm the only person who always does my best to stand with those who are hurting. Everyone else just flippantly brushes people off. Even as an autistic, screwed up narcissist, I can honestly say that my heart is pure. I only want to cause healing and let the weak come before the strong.
You see, empaths aren't inherently caring. They're just good at playing politics and framing narcissists for the harm they do. And I don't appreciate how empaths, instead of helping people like me feel understood, intentionally and cruelly use their powers to harm me. It's not cool, and empathic powers aren't an excuse to hurt people. I'm the real superhero. They're the supervillains. But empaths, no matter how thick a web you weave, God always knows the truth.
Make sure your empathy isn't actually people pleasing to avoid conflict and to feel safe. You must set boundaries and treat yourself right first. If you do this, you'll never fall victim to a narcissist.
True self reflection is needed to discover this.
I cannot express just how much I appreciate this channel. Thank you for what you do. ❤
I feel so stuck. I’ve been in a relationship for over 2 years now and in the beginning everything seemed wonderful. We were happy, and I like to think that it was genuine love but I don’t even know anymore. Then after about 10 months in, he started wanting me to change who I was. He told me the music I like it stupid, I can’t play my own music in my own car. He told me to listen to him but it seems like every time I was crying or upset about something, he was angry at me for it, instead of caring. He said that he will only comfort me if it’s something “worth crying about” like a dog dying or a family member dying. He tells me that all of the things I’m knowledgeable about, don’t matter. We are still young, and I always come over and clean his room, cook his dinner and lunch for work, and he simply told me that “anyone can do that for me”. He would screenshot pictures of girls while still in the relationship and even though I got him to stop after begging and begging, I find myself still feeling insecure and afraid he will do it again, and he thinks I’m over reacting for being afraid. He makes offensive jokes like calling me a “retard” and when I tell him that’s not okay to say, he just says “that’s how I joke”. It seems like any fact that I told him, wasn’t right or “isn’t true”. Even when I would talk to him about psychology, he would say that psychology isn’t true either and that there is no such thing as an empath. Anytime he accidentally hurt me and I would say “ouch” he would just say “stop, that didn’t even hurt that much, you’re over reacting” even if it did hurt. And the worst part of all, is that I still don’t want to break up even though I know that it’s the right decision. I feel like I’m crazy for thinking he is an abuser but at the same time, everyone has told me that he is. I just don’t want to make the hard decision, of leaving
its 3 am, and i accidentally stubled upon this yt video and my mind is completely blown by the accuracy of this !!!!!! my ex best friend was a narcissistic person and this is exactly what had happened btwn us! watching this video was looking over our friendship from a third person's perspective and my mind is completely blownnnnnnnnnn
I have been an empath for most of the people who just used me when they needed me . And trust me when you listen to someone else's traumas you can feel that pain within you . I had friends who made up stories and faked their depression when they didn't had anything depressing in their lives and it really hurts because I was someone who has lots of childhood trauma and I am naturally very empathetic and good to people who has suffered in their early days . And she always faked depression in front of me and used to ignore my feelings whenever I tried to tell her anything abt my childhood experiences she always acted as if she is the one with all the problems. And ignored my feelings. And the sad part was she was always in the spotlight because of some lies that she told but no one cared about me just because they don't know what I have been through. I don't want any sympathy from PPL but I hate it when she fakes depression in front of me and act as if other PPL prblms are nothing in front of hers ..
Whenever I told her anything bad that has happened with me she always turned things to me . As if I was the one at fault.
Also the pills weren’t hard to swallow…on the contrary it brought relief and was very affirming. I think content like this is so important because for many of us that have experienced relationships with narcissists( whether that be familial or romantic…) we are often isolated and gaslighted so much through the course of the relationships we really start to doubt our reality and if the maltreatment is indeed abuse. Moreover our social networks if existent are usually made up of people who inadvertently become flying monkeys ( due to betrayal blindness or other reasons) whom perpetuate the emotional abuse via gaslighting. ..so there’s no one to turn to and confirm and affirm that you aren’t crazy for simply knowing and asking for better treatment.
I love this channel. The animations are so cute and yet thoughtful in a way that makes some very heavy topics like this one more palatable and less triggering for various members of your audience.
Narcissism runs rampant in my “family”… they all think they’re better than the next and it’s truly sickening to watch unfold. It’s like they’re cursed or something fr. thank God for my beloved grandmother showed me a different way! 🕊️
This video really came at a perfect time for me. I survived a nacissictic friendship just recently, well I think it was more than a friendship that, it was more of a actual partnership without sex or kissing. It lastet for 3 month and Im struggling since 2 weeks to get over it, the last point really opened my eyes, my feelings for that person were real but the person probably just played along to get supply, when I started to do stuff with other and calling out the bad behaviour it turned so quickly.
After years of watching your videos, I have finally found what really matters to a narcissist, especially with the release of this video.
They want emotional attention span, no matter what negative or positive form it is!
This is such an easy way to view things and that is absolutely very predatory the way they indeed conduct into. Once they have drained you enough, they can start to "modify you" to their liking, even if it is by misinformative means, which is a massively global issue today!
I first thought looking at "history is the manupilators worst enemy" would be effective and point out their behaviours, but that ended up being largely backfired due to the fact that they manage to convince others that may not have the same amount of experience as those with experience of narcissistic abuse. I have to say, having both autism and ADHD, being born with a narcissistic parent and even ended up in many toxic relationships in the past with manupilators, it baffles me the lengths we sometimes have to go, just to find out a simple thing they want and that took me over 30+ years to realize.
And truly, you can't really heal if you have poison in your life creeping faster than you can heal, so better kick out those folks draining you whenever possible. Discovering your channel back in 2018 has truly helped me showing what to look out for since then! Thank you Psy for creating such an awesome channel and helping people find their way through in life!
Just came across another video explaining: How narcissists are created," and then I come to the page, and see your comment. I have to agree with you because before I met this person my life was peaceful and I was figuring myself out, on the verge of getting a new job after being on disability. Now preparing to ace my Entrance exam, looking for another place to stay, and work.
It is indeed hard to break free from someone who is wanting to be heard due to emotional neglect during childhood.
I also think that I was a narcissist when I was in 4th grade... and I never cared about my friends only about myself. I was selfish.. I started to realize it when I slowly had more and more enemies. I felt very bad even tho I was still pretending to be the best. But I wanted to change! Most ppl just believed I could never change but I tried to learn how to become a better peron, even tho it was pretty hard. And you guys helped me a lot!! Thank you for everything!
I'm in a fight with my work and I totally get this! I was speaking to them about the cost of excessive night shifts to my mental health and they're so forcing me to do it. I actually had a moment where I had to acknowledge. 'Oh, they know.They simply don't care.'
Yes - I can relate to all of this. I’ve experienced a relationship with a narcissist and also a friendship with a narcissist. I am very much an empath and this video explains EXACTLY my experiences. Thank you for sharing ❤
That's awful you found 2 of this monsters, I hope you're doing better, stay safe!
@@-Chrome- aww thank you. Yes, I’m doing better thank you. Was treated so badly I had PTSD but therapy has helped so much ❤️
@@EvokeASMR Same, it's awful that we can relate over this awful experience hahahaha, brighter days are here!
Creating the good guy (empath) and the bad guy (narcissist) is a coping strategy to keep seeing ourselves as the "good guys" and those ones as "the bad guys". This is ultumately what creates wars in the internal and external. Before we start seeing the "bad" in ourselves (and eachother) understanding where it comes from (usually unmet needs, traumas....) we are far away from integration as individuals and as human society.
this whole experience with her has shed a light into my soul allowing me to grow up and fix my shit before its too late. I have lost 50 pounds, I start a new job at 10am today. This is how I know God loves me because this time I actually learned a lot. I will always love her for bringing me closer to god and I pray that god keeps giving her opportunities to let go of her past and start new. We all have the power to change, we just have to learn to let go of our ego and walk with god. (however you were taught about god)
I’m a narcissist, and I knew it when I realized that I wasn’t able to care enough about others than just me. We never get enough from someone and we expect more than we can give.
u need therapy from a therapist, not ur partner
i used to be a big empath but then i had multiple narcissists in my life which turned me into a disaster now somewhere i feel like even i am a narcissist now though i wouldn’t ever think of doing things like that to anyone i might’ve been doing it unconsciously so idk
These points hit hard. I realize now I felt loved because I saw fruits of me caring, but I was never truly given love. I wanted to give myself to someone and she wanted to take as much as she could before I caught on.
I am an empath , recovering people pleaser and I don’t “ people “ anymore. I will always be there for others , no matter what. It’s automatic and no prethought is present… true or pure altruism. I have survived way too much trauma and abuse in my life and can’t bear to see others suffer .
But now , I’m a hermit and rarely go out anymore. My last relationship almost killed me … literally and spent 2 weeks in the psychiatric hospital under lockdown.
Also that contract is not me , I never have had expectations of anyone because people will constantly let you down, I accepted that fact a long long time ago
I think it is important to remember there is still very little we know about narcissism as a diagnosable mental illness. And most of us display some form of narcissism from time to time because we are human. It matters how we talk to one another and sort out our differences. I think it is important to be cautious of and even avoid labeling people a narcissist or empath altogether because it can be hurtful towards others if misused... unless we are their psychologist and it is our responsibility to diagnose them and do so properly.
Hurtful and placing people in a box with a label. For me, these labels feel limiting, identity wise. But I'm happy they help people make sense of difficult situations.
Agreed, by P2G's past videos I would clearly be either a sociopath or psychopath but I'm not, I've been confirmed by professionals not to be but by all unprofessional stances I am.
Some of these videos by P2G play more on Hollywood versions, stereotypes or plain misinformation (nearly all the ones about narcissism and forms of ASPD do).
I in no way think P2G or anyone else means badly but it's a simple fact things are not as black and white as lots of their videos give off.
Narcs or people with ASPD can be nice and improve. Empaths and other 'victim groups' can be bad. And painting either as inherently bad/dangerous does more damage than good.
@@J4CKS0N_D34R3ST I appreciate your perspective.
@@daniellechekel8866 thank you, I thought about trying to explain to others but I know not to do it when someone is expressing their own problems or when someone seems too rooted in one way or the other.
It's nice to see/hear someone more open to other views and willing to learn more than was provided, people as nice as you can be a hard bunch to find.
@@J4CKS0N_D34R3ST what you say about knowing when not to explain to others is very insightful! I have not always understood this and in those moments I've thought to myself, "why aren't they listening to me?" Or "why are they being so stubborn?" I didn't look at it from their eyes. I didn't reflect. Well.. maybe they are not ready to listen. Maybe they have their own way of looking at things. Maybe I'm not hearing them. I'm glad you made this comment!
I had a friend who is a narcissist. She portrayed herself as the poor, misunderstood girl who had no friends because people were so-called mean to her. But once I cut her off, I then realized that she had no friends because of how badly she treated people. She initally lovebombs them (as means to gain trust and loyalty) and later took advantage of those around her for personal gain. I confronted her several times for her actions which hurt me and she somehow made it like I was the one at fault and that’s when I knew she exhibited narcissistic traits. I was so done with being used and so I cut her off completely and told her straight up that I had absolutely nothing to lose from the friendship. Needless to say that she was taken aback that I stood up against her because she thought I’d be afraid to lose her. Though the friendship was brief, it really taught me to be mindful of who I call as my friends. Never again will I trust people easily.
this entire video, and many others on this channel have really helped, this video and many others about manipulation, abuse, and narcissists, have beat for beat (no exaggeration) described everything i went through, and how i was/ am being treated by my ex, thank you it really helps!
I've been lately suspecting that I might have NPD. I got so tired of inevitably causing hurt to every one around me that in the past year I've isolated myself to a point where even my immediate family doesn't know where i live anymore. When I saw the title of this video, I hoped it was suggesting how to empathize with what a narcissist goes through but it turned out to be the opposite. I don't fully blame all the hate we receive in society because of the way we are but I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. Because while we can't help but hurt our loved ones, we too are secretly struggling internally. Most may not be be aware of this because we don't really talk about the war going on inside our heads. Even expressing this makes me feel guilty that I'm making it all about myself again. I have completely seized talking about myself and my feelings now hoping that it might make me a little less of a narcissist.
I once was told, "...if you suspect you're a narcissist, you probably aren't..." due to the fact that narcissist aren't usually capable of self-reflection and empathy for the people they hurt. Before you go cutting everyone out, you should seek out psychological help. Don't self diagnose from the internet, one if the first things to happenwith narcissistic abuse is you think maybe its you... Hoping you heal.
I don't know why every video I watch, it makes narcissists look like bad people. Narcisism is also a disorder and need to be treated the right way. Not shunned and alienated from society. That actually make narcissists even more sure that people deserve the selfish type of treatement. My mom is a narcissist and I used to enable her alot. I grew up and my boundaries grew up with me, I understood how narcissists think and I no longer emphasize where I shouldn't, but I know she needs reassurance, love and care more than anyone. To a limit of course. I don't see her as a bad person who is trying to hurt people, I see her as a damaged person who knows only one way of dealing with people that kept her surviving in her environment. But she no longer needs that, as her environment is no longer the same. That's it.
I feel bad for my aunt aswell. Especially after describing her childhood trauma I can empathize with that. But is that an excuse for abuse? I understand what you are coming from. But abuse is choice.
@@lil_britz7589 The problem here is that they do not know it is abuse. They need to learn and accept that reality first. Narcissism is just another coping mechanism, it can be unlearned.
We can have compassion . The thing is though alot of people and I mean many many people dont yet realize how to set boundaries. If they have yet to establish boundaries and self confidence, even nonempath should be very careful when interacting with narc. I understand though that we want to help our fellow family member friends neighbors but one has to be educated in the subject before engaging in it and given the comment section, alot of people especially the young are ignorant and innocent to these types of disorder. I think what should be tackled is educating the populace over mental health and how abuse and trauma from childhood are the key points of the cause of these orders. Mental health in general should first be put on the spotlight before tackling the categories. Society has slowly began to move to the importance of it. It is being talked about far more now then it was a decade agp
The sound of your voice and your Voice-of-reason is excellent.
Thank you
Her voice is so soothing! I wish she had a sleep story series! I’d definitely listen!
Ngl, all of my friends have really bad mental health. And being super, like really empathetic. It takes a toll on your mental health. A very very very big toll. You feel like you need to help them but you kinda feel useless and powerless because sometimes you don’t know how to comfort people and communicate. It sucks. Big time.
I get this 100% it's honestly the EXACT reason I don't reach out when I'm struggling. I'd rather figure it out myself then put that burden on others.
I was with her for 2 years and everything that was explained was on point I was so depressed a couple of months ago because she cut me off afterwards I thought I was the one who made the mistake but I admit I am not perfect but I should’ve enforced my boundaries don’t make the mistake that I did guys please have morals and respect for your self
as an empath who has had some pretty terrible experiences with a narcissist, i can’t help but wonder how they could be helped. just like BPD, it’s just a personality disorder that they can’t help, but they also almost never see those toxic traits in themselves, so it feels impossible to get them on a treatment plan. it’s weird to think about, but it makes me sad that these people simply can’t help it and are so demonized in society (because of the very real way they treat others) with no hope for bringing them into their humanity ://
I understand, we have compassion. But there is no way to help them if they dont want to be helped. As you said, plenty arent self aware and that's one thing. There are other who are and are happy for what they are because they get what they want which is to fill their void no matter the cost.
I came from an abusive home to an abusive relationship. I was 16 he was 24(he had lied bt his age) it’s hard for him to understand my feelings or others. Makes me feel crazy,mean,unloveable etc… when literally I never go a day without doing something for someone. Watching this video helped me realize I am such an empath focusing my life purpose on saving my family. This man is so difficult for me & I’ve been confused bcs he was on drugs and I could maybe be bipolar but fs adhd lol but now I’m just drained and totally mean. I am the abuser now and it’s so sad , all I wanted was love someone to care for me as I wanted to care/protect my loved ones to. He never loved me tho not even in the beginning it was just abuse,manipulation etc I feel so dumb and hopeless rn. I yell at him so bad and threaten to hurt him if he doesn’t leave me but he doesn’t even care. Then I cry and pray bt it bcs I don’t want this to b me! I never did 😢
I have a younger sister who fits this description 100%. I've seen her play all the narcissist cards with others in the family, but she did it in a different way with me. But a year ago, the game changed. She went off on me in a rant. She knows I'm an empath. I had my limit and reacted badly, cussing her out. Then she played the victim and turned it around on me. I almost took the bait that I was wrong for hurting her feelings (which I now know she has none).
But I've also learned over the past 2 years how real her game is and that she likes to get ANY emotional response from me. I called her out on her bullshit. Of course as narcissists usually do, she got offended, justified her behavior and told me all the ways i harmed her. Then a week later she texted me a cute meme about sometimes family gets into arguments, but love each other and I responded with you'll always my sister ❤️ 💕 ♥️ and letf it alone. 😂😂😂 I haven't responded to her since. I have so much peace now. And energy to take care of my own needs now. I am Done! My emotional state is so much better when I don't stay in touch with her. And when she reaches out again, I'll delete her messages, not answer her calls and delete her phone messages, not listen to them at all.
Being an empath is like narcissism in reverse, being so concerned for everyone else’s good that they neglected their own good, I don’t know what exactly fits the criteria for being an empath, but I sure as hell no I’ve dealt with a narcissist in my life and I kind of relate to a lot of what was said in this video
So much wisdom in this video and on this channel, clarity I wish I had before 2 years of hell with a narcissist. I love your videos and have learned a lot about myself from them. I will no longer give out love in the hope of receiving it back. I’ll give love genuinely, but with boundaries to protect my heart and my goodwill. Thank you ❤
Literally just yesterday I told a friend “man I could really help my ex if I could just convince him to go to pride”. Its not my business anymore, I just need to focus on myself but its so hard to do.
What I struggle with the most is the fact that my ex grew up in an extremely broken household and I believe he loved me, but didnt know how to express his love. I do believe he was a narcissist in the fact that he did things for himself, but I dont believe it was to hurt me, moreso to protect himself in weird ways.
Excellent video. Spot on with so many insights in such brief way. I watched 3 times to grasp the content in full which just reiterates what my experience was. Gladly in my case, I am not much of an empath so the Narc didn't last long. I was out of it in just over 3 months. Even then, not without wounds which are still pending to be healed.
I separated myself from the narcissist in my life back in February of this year. They did some terrible things to fellow coworkers/friends that I was wary of... and then did something absolutely terrible that I could no longer stand. For awhile, I did think it was my fault for not catching on sooner and attempting to address the problems, but as time went on, I know there wasn't any better decision I could have made other than to walk away. Now they've disappeared from the social platform, and I hope its for everyone's benefit.
Sadly this all describes the man my mother married, he's used me for my money, and never even thanked me in the process. Since moving in, he has done a lot of very aggressive assertive, and dominating actions towards me, and the moment I'd set my boundaries and stopped interacting with him entirely, he brought me a Christmas present as a bribe to try and get me hooked back in. I thanked him, wished him Merry Christmas, and it didn't change anything as I'm still staying away from him (my family have also wiped me out over him, believing his charms are all real and not fake.) I'll be moving out soon, so it'll be such a relief to just get away from it all 💜 never be afraid to set your boundaries, and do what you need to for your well-being
I've been watching your videos over the years and I'm still confused about myself because while I identify myself more as an empath, I find that I also have narcissistic traits.
"Narcissists will never fulfill the covert contract" so true. For me there was the realization that my Sociopathic ex, would never agree to repairing the psychic injuries: hidden cell phones, devices full of sexting, days of secret meetings, being abandoned when sick, disrespectful treatment, withheld affection, so I doubled down on the giving, a new horse and all the accessories and things only got worse
I'm glad they mentioned that, even in a workplace situation, a narcissist is extremely dangerous. My previous job site was absolutely ruined by a textbook narc. For the first year he was there, he did the work equivalent of "love-bombing", making everyone, myself included, think he was a great person. Then the toxic behavior started, and it never stopped.
I was a shift supervisor at this site. I was very surprised, when one of our newer employees, who was female, told me that this guy was bullying her. He was, and was ALMOST fired for it. If only he had been! He got away with the bullying, unfortunately, and immediately began making frivolous, obviously retaliatory complaints against this poor lady. This guy, who claimed to have extensive management experience, DEMANDED that my boss and I write her up, for various supposed infractions, based on his word alone. When we explained to him that, obviously, we couldn't do that, we became his targets.
This narcissist made up more outlandish nonsense about the three of us, than would fit in a large book. All of the less-intelligent employees were quickly deceived by him, and became his "flying monkeys". Numerous people lost their jobs because they were caught up in his crap, and he completely destroyed morale at the site.
Others who witnessed his abusive behavior, were evidently afraid of him, because they all refused to speak out. This individual was sneaking around with cameras and recording devices, and trying to entrap us into saying things he could use against us. Every day, was some new outrage. He made his flying monkeys sit down and write slanderous letters about us, denouncing us to the company higher-ups (who were singularly useless, when it came to backing us up).
At one point, I finally got the company to remove him from the schedule, but he used his manipulation tactics to get sent back. My boss, who was near retirement, was summarily and unfairly fired, on the grounds that he should have somehow been able to control the narcissist (he was trying. We were both trying, every day).
Five months after the disastrous day that occurred, which was on a date famous for disaster, I had a plan. I had, by that point, no doubt that narcissism was the problem with this individual. I looked up everything I could find about it, and then waited until the next time I had to be alone in a room with him (always a distasteful situation). As soon as he started his boasting and bragging about how great he was, I very pointedly rolled my eyes at him.
That was all it took. For about two weeks afterward, he ran around squealing and whining to everyone in sight, that I had rolled my eyes at him. Finally it got so obnoxious, that even some of his flying monkeys got sick of him, and they fired him.
I stayed at that job for another nine months, but it never felt right there again. People I had known for years and years, had been turned against me by the narcissist. My boss had been replaced by the very worst person possible, other than the narcissist (which had been his intention). He was still calling people from home, after being fired, and trying to cause problems remotely.
That place was permanently tainted by the narcissist. All for no reason. I can't imagine how destructive it would be, to date or marry one of them.