I was lied into marrying this type of narcissist. I’m not even a year in and I can tell you he’s not rude. Rude doesn’t describe him it’s the word EVIL. I’m trying to save money to get out of this. Please pray.
Omg Payden are you okay now how are you ??? I’m also stuck living with an abusive older sibling feel like I’m Dying I’m trying to escape this year but it’s just a lot involved before I can even leave 😔
Great job in figuring him out while in the marriage! That's not easy [ I had no idea - was made to believe I have all kinds of faults]. I am certain you will do whatever it takes to ensure your safety. I wish I had my money out of the joint account [ earned more than him- he took all] and important papers. When out - keep the idea of Restraining order from him as an option if he acts up [mine did -to bring me back to him]. You may also know who your true friends are. Be careful and safe. There is challenge for a life in a new direction - but there is safety from weekly trauma. My prayers surround you. You will be safe and with a much firmer footing in life.
N O C O N T A C T ! ! Don't ever reach out to them under any circumstances....EVER! They have a special agenda for you the 2nd go around and it isn't good! Stay strong! Don't let your mind cherry pick good memories of them There are people out here who will give you "real" love and affection without an agenda ❤
You are absolutely right! It is a VERY SPECIAL AGENDA. They are so calculating. They are very dangerous. If they can DESTROY their own children and families and feel nothing, they must be capable of anything. Better duck.
Colette Ogata YES! Then blame the children for being ungrateful and act like they are the victim-being punished for trying to “do the right thing”. They are competent delusional.
They can't stand it if you are feeling good, feeling confidence about your improvements, even as little as they can be. Be very scared. Run and don't even think about looking back because you dodged a train.
But be smart when you run. They are most dangerous if they know you're getting ready to leave. These are the people who are capable of killing a partner.
And still be prepared to have your life wrecked. My narc (used to be the best friend) got my drinks tampered so that she could sleep with me. When I did not, she told everyone that I was the culprit. Ended up losing my job and career...But now back on track after 4 years.
So true! It’s like they literally go to pieces if someone is happy and feeling a smidgen of confidence. It’s almost unreal how ticked off they get about someone else’s happiness. Malignant narcissists are truly malignantly miserable demons.
Malignant narcissists can be patient. They can play the long game and wait until they have you in a position of vulnerability (i.e. - you're pregnant, you're living in a foreign country where you can't get a work VISA, you're half a world away from family, you don't speak the language, etc.) before they ramp up the coercive control.
My husband of 30 yrs has always been this way, but he’s a combination of the different kinds of narcissists. We have lived in another country since 2008, but with covid we came back to USA as soon as flights were open because of better online schools for my then 13 yr old. But since being in US with him, everything we did was wrong. She had too much homework, she didn’t spend time with the family “ in his presence “ . Which was mostly because of his constant fighting with everyone. Then, with 1 simple ?… he started the silent treatment. He asked us where did we want to live. Our response was , here in America. Nope wrong answer. So, we didn’t know if we were staying or leaving. Then it was you can stay just because I want you to. But he was saying some pretty threatening things to our daughter when no one could hear. She finally told me. And this one time I heard him, (pre I now know not to engage with you) I asked him why he says things like that, tears included. And he says “your moms crying again “… my daughter said because you always say crap like that. OMG he started jumping around… went to my daughter took her glasses off her face.. had her by the wrists.. terrior on her face. He brought her to the bext room where i was. I immediately got up and told him” you not going to hurt her” over snd over… he says to her do you want to call the police on me? He said it like 2-3 times… her response was if you want me to. He lost his mind… started screaming thats it you’re going back overseas.. and you’re never coming back to thus country, your mom can come back to visit her family but not you… just screaming so I called my 25 yr old son… told him to come home. My husband said “did you call the police “? When my son got home the story of the events were not even close to what happened.. his version. After my daughter CALLED HIM CRAP , she came up to him with glaring eyes in an aggressive manner and it was my fault because my tone made her react that way, and everything he said and did was in joke not serious. We were terrified, but he was only joking. And had gone silent again. We are “visiting “ my family in another state until its time to travel. Which he and his brother are going as well but only for two weeks. I’m comfortable with my bro n law going.. that means husband will be in his Im a great person mode. I dont have the option of leaving and going no contact. He would not EVER let that happen. So staying with this man and going as grey rock as possible is our only option, having both my kids do the same. Thanks for listening…
They stare at you like your a bug under a glass . The psychopathic stare the black hate on their face that you catch for a minute before it’s replaced with a smile that doesn’t match their eyes. Any way they can hurt you they will do it.
Malignant Narcissists are the most dangerous. They are the worst. I lived with one for a very long time and he got worst. Very cruel, aggressive, paranoid and hungry for power, control and obsessed with money. Horrible mood swings. Still trying to recover but this videos help me understand what I went through. Thank you Dr Ramani!!! Love to hear your Pot casts.
obsessed with money. i was oncein his car in the puoring rain and he didnt switch on the wippers to save them. my mouth fell open to this never have i ever witnessed this. this was my x bf.
Thank you. You just described my husband. A retired high ranking military officer. He is obnoxious, entitled, and cruel behind closed doors but a shining hero to everyone else. I’m the crazy one
I'm sorry. I wish they did a better job instilling the sense of honor in us. You can jump on a grenade but if you enjoy hurting the person you are supposed to protect you have 0 honor..
I almost died twice when I was a child because of my Malignant narcissistic mother. So it's true that they are actually putting their children's safety at serious risk. I am now safe. Thank You Dr. Ramani❤️
Hi. I'm glad you're safe now. - I was in similar circumstances. To this day, I've been gaslighted by everyone I've tried to get help from. They just won't believe it was that bad. - I'm almost completely on my own. Would you mind sharing who else's work or strategies have helped you?
My mother was very sadistic. She enjoyed hurting me and smiled when she did it. I've left and never gone back. I would like to know what other books on this subject anyone can suggest.
Keep a great distance from. Be polite but not social, they will use everything you say & do against you. She is more than likely, Jealous of you therefore she does not an will not ever like you or love you. I have a mother that is that way. I’m fortunate enough to not have to deal with her. But I dealt with her craziness for 40 yrs. I cut all ties.
Grey rock, give her compliments, keep your room spotless, stay quiet, don't bring friends home, can you get a babysitting job where they'll want you to sleep over, don't under estimate her craziness because you're just entering your beautiful stage and she'll become jealous of that too! Keep your cool, you've got more behind you than ahead, good luck, keep your health up!
There are people there that can help you if you are feeling at risk - children’s aid societies, the police, or when school comes back then ask to talk to a counselor or your teacher. As well, your doctor might be someone who can help you. If your safety is at risk or you are feeling mentally abused then don’t hesitate to ask for help. I wish you a safe journey as you grow up - remember this is not you.
You should probably find a trusted adult outside of the house (and family) to befriend, for not only your own mental health going forward, but as a safety net and confidante. Any friend's moms, dads, or adult siblings you think are cool that your mom doesn't know? It's for your safety and trust that she doesn't know them, not for hiding anything from her.
Having been at the receiving end of a malignant Narc’s cold blooded cruelty and witnessing his mind boggling delusions, my heart skipped a few beats watching this video. It is indeed unsettling that a person can be this way. How do they even live with themselves?
So true.. I started feeling his dead eyes staring at me..... They should not be part of this world. You can sense them smiling even sitting 1000 miles away at your pain and miserable life.
All serial killers, fraudsters, molesters, rapists... are malignant. Your ex likely had fantasies of doing evil things you can't even imagine. He likely did evil things you don't even know about. He was likely constantly on the edge, 1 second from putting your head through the drywall of your home.
They don't feel remorse, so it's easy for them to live with themselves. They also feel they have a right to these behaviors so they don't feel it's wrong to begin with.
My mother is, I think, a malignant narcissist. I grew up in terror of her. There was the understanding at home that I must obey her 100% at all times. I am from Asia and there is this idea already, that parents must be obeyed. But this was a different type of obedience. Any time I disagreed with her she would fly into a huge rage and run at full speed after me and sometimes chase me up the stairs. She would complain about how difficult I was to the neighbors when she didn't get her way. This was for even the smallest of things. Every one thought that I was a problem child as she would constantly badmouth me to anyone and everyone, particularly, if anyone praised me. She would say that they had no idea what type of a person I was and that I had thrown a huge tantrum when I was 5 years old and had troubled her at the time when she was sick. I was the scapegoat. I grew up believing that I was the scum of the earth. My mother was very charming and extremely social and probably still, is. She always had a lot of friends and whenever any of my friends would visit me, she would dominate the conversation and completely cut me off. It felt like she robbed me of my friends as she would not let me interact with them. I started having panic attacks and anxiety issues during social interactions. Things got worse when I got married. She constantly interfered and badmouthed my marriage to others and told others for years that I was on the verge of getting a divorce. People would call me to ask me what had happened to my marriage. She was just ruthless. When she started acting mean to my 1 year old daughter, I decided that it was time to cut her off and I did. She has since, used hoovering techniques and flying monkeys to lure me in and has badmouthed me to every person that I know. There is no relationship left with anyone. I am blamed for leaving the mother and moving on, something unheard of in Asian culture, where gratitude towards parents is expected. Nobody asks if the parent has been a good parent to the child. These videos are an absolute blessing to people like me who have never heard of narcissism. I just wish that I had known about this concept earlier. I am very cautious around people. I am trying to do better for my daughter.
Oh man, this sounds like exactly like my mother! Once she continued to try and manipulate my children and repay people for things they did against her, which was all in her head obviously, that’s when I cut all contact. It’s been such a difficult journey and my mom was an absolute horror when my husband had stage IV cancer and she made sure she had no way to take care of me and my kids if husband passed(sole breadwinner). She sold my childhood home and emptied out my dads 401K all in the attempt to make sure she wouldn’t have to be responsible for us. So thankful that I’m making sure that my children do not have to endure her sadistic nature and constant manipulation. The Lord makes a way when there seems to be no way. ❤️
Because of the Asian culture, malignant narcissism of parents are prevalent but they have no name for it. A lot of children fall victim and lead very dysfunctional lives too and the cycle continues. "Saving face" is the rule so families does not discuss their dysfunctions. Not a lot of Asian children will dare to question much more confront their dysfunctional parents. It's really sad and dangerous to their psychological make up.
I could write a lot about my experiences, but let me tell you; I know exactly how you feel and why. I was lucky to have an opportunity to see through it when I was young enough to decide to not have any children and to break the vicious circle.
A former boss was a malignant narcissist. When I started going to therapy and recognizing the dynamic, i began drawing solid boundaries and demanded over time pay. The day i got fired was the best day of my life 🕺🏿🕺🏿🕺🏿
I’ll be 32 in a few months... I just found out today my dad fits covert narcissist (I thought he wasn’t) and so far sounds like my mom fits malignant... (I thought she was covert)
I had a therapist tell me that all sociopaths/psychopaths are narcissists but not the other way around. My ex was a twice diagnosed psychopath. Took years to get over my time with him.
@Gordon Fornow The low level idiot psychopath can get diagnosed in prison, the type that has an IQ of 95, and no impulse control, usually they are repeat offenders and end up getting diagnosed in prison with Anti social PD, how ever a diagnosis of Primary psychopathy is much harder to achieve, likely this woman's ex was given an ASPD diagnosis, but that doesn't guarantee he is psychopathic primarily, you can be a secondary psychopath for example, but not have the brain wiring for primary psychopathy, and you would still be given the ASPD label.
Omg, I thought it was only me who had my (now-ex) get Dx as antisocial; but by the time he admitted he'd been in therapy, and that was his Dx, he knew I was primed to not believe it. Five years out and still healing.
I’m sorry to here you had to go through that. I believe you because I dodged a bullet about 5 years ago. Met a woman who turned out to be cruel and narcissistic. The damage she did in a month to my brain with her bs affected me a lot. I dodged a bullet because fortunately for me she discarded me as soon as I questioned her lies.
My father terrorized me as a child and adult as well as my family. I knew that he was trying to destroy me at any opportunity. I wondered if I were paranoid in dreading that he would either civilly commit me to an institution or choose the man I would marry. He was definitively a malignant narcissist. Another layer was my sister who was a regular toxic narcissist. I recently attained clarity about these two relationships and have achieved a serenity not imagined. It wasn't me. It was them.
O M G! Lived this for 18 months and went NO CONTACT! Done forever. I've never seen anything like it. Callous, cold, cruel, cunning, calculating, the list goes on but Dr. Ramani's description fits to a TEE!
@@holyspark5438 two great descriptive words for MN! Especially “ominous.” That feeling of looming imminent danger that they use to intimidate those who can see through their faux faces and faux words and behaviors. When a person, no matter who they are, can steal your joy like that, you must get them out of your life.
I was married to one who was a pastor. He isolated our church, and preached that basically only we (he) had truth. Long, long story of how it finally ended. Whew!!!! So glad to be free!! Thank you for bringing this terrible dynamic to the light!!
The malignant narc I know is a pastor too. He preaches the Gospel while doing pretty much the opposite of whatever is said in the Bible. He's a pathological liar who is extremely arrogant & entitled, but knows how to play the humble pastor when it suits him. The level of duplicity is astounding.
Been there... escaped with my life... literally!!! The most terrifying person I have EVER, EVER, met, yet it still took a few years to totally cut the emotional strings that had bound us. My heart goes out to anyone still trapped in a relationship with these consummate manipulators!!! Leave while you still have your life and CUT ALL CONTACT!!! Stay safe 💕
I've been on parole for almost 4years now.i did my time of 18 years with a malignant Narcissist with ASPD. I have went full No Contact. You have to with these types ..I cant tell you how many times I have almost died by his hands. Diagnosed PTSD. MDD.GAD.and PD..I still watch my back and keep my guard up .he will always hate me.the one that got away!
Report thier acts to the police, get a no contact order, even tho it will not stop them from stalking you, triangualiting you, get it on record, of you have to shoot them, you want this in the system, cover your ass! If you don't have a gun, get one from a son or your sons friend, trust me, someone will bring you a pistol when you tell them what he's doing, use it if you have to!
I did no contact day 3 now he was sitting in my area by my home when I went to work I kept walking it's creepy I work grave yard so I'm very cautious going home early in the am he's sick 🤢 mentally psychopathic narcissist
I totally agree with the last stop of the train assessment. What I am living through has gotten so far beyond what you typically hear about narcissistic abuse and all its horrors. The cruelty is rally reaching a scary peak
This type sounds like how my dad was growing up. He was so controlling over me and emotionally I never felt safe. He was also verbally abusive. He used my fear of him to his advantage.
This describes my ex to a tee. I allowed this dangerous behavior for 8 years without knowing it was abusive. I believed he wanted to bring me security, and in the end wrecked my mental and physical well-being, where I could live to be safe, and my finances. And to think I stood by and allowed it all to happen right under my nose. It wasn’t until the life-threatening physical abuse occurred and the psychological abuse drove me to near suicide when I realized how sick he was making me - which led me to seek a better understanding of what I was dealing with. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but I know I am not alone. I’m just glad this type of information is available to help others when they awake to the reality of their situation. Thank you Dr.
I was married to a malignant narcissist for 9 years . He tried to kill me numerous times,He tried to kill me by crashing our car on my side ( I survived), a week later he ended up dying on a boat , while with his mistress( she survived) .Found out he took a life insurance out on my life .
These people live like their lives are a freaking movie 🎥. At the beginning, their dramatic existence is alluring and exciting, but beware, this is a warning ⚠️ sign.
The goat: you aint a psycopath my friend. Psychopaths dont know they are disordered because they are emotionally arrested amongst other reasons. Tired of fake , attention seeking people claiming to be psychopaths. Please know these claims are fradulent or delusional.
This really gave me chills. Every single point Dr Ramanin said was my experience. I spent 7 years in a relationship with a MN. When I finally left, I was completely gutted, mentally unstable and riddled with anxiety. I moved to another state to get away from him. He would swing back and forth so fast with his moods/displays of love or hate. Towards the end I was in fear for my life( knives pulled on me, threats of having guns hidden, etc). I was a 23 year old girl with a history of abuse when I met him. Just fell right into the trap of his charm and GRANDNESS. Ive spent many years in therapy learning about what I actually went through and how to cope/recover from it. What’s even more frightening is that he is now almost 70 years old and still abusing young women.
I hear you Delisa, all of it. I too am still affected by it and reshaping my life and mind and health from it. I'm about to cut out my 73 year old step dad, he's the last of them. It's a frigging tornado isnt it. I hope you're doing well, and keeping God close to you. It's all ok. Keep well. Jack
I thought my daughter in law of 3 years was covert until I saw this. She is here, and everything described is on point. Everything. Sometimes I pray that my son might actually wake up over the next couple of years and get out alive with his son. I am already No Contact and a 1000 miles away, because she has him thinking her unfounded lies might have some teeth to them. All she had to do was ask, but she would never. She'd rather believe her own projections as truth on others instead of herself.
@@jackgoodings Praying on it does work. You have to be willing to help yourself and keep the faith. The light cancels the dark and they are dark entities.
Violence was a big part of my childhood, reason being I was a bad child. It was a horror. Caused me a lifelong struggle 2 trust, love, & survive daily living. I'm so glad this is being brought 2 the forefront of understanding how 2 spot, combat, & avoid this abuse..
I had 2 of these for parents. They hated each other and were physically abusive, and my.mother took out all her rage on me. I became the scapegoat and my sister is of course the golden child. I recently walked away from all of them, at 48. Growing up with this kind of trauma, I think it may have contributed to my having Multiple Sclerosis. I've been researching the links between trauma and physical illness, and it makes me angry.
My ex narc never showed any anger but I could feel it bubbling away under the surface, he had total control over it! It was very unsettling, if I ever dared to question him or put him in an uncomfortable position when questioning how he felt, or try to get him to open up emotionally, his body language was painful, ear pulling, cheek scratching, chin rubbing, he was cunning deceitful always planning calculating! He hides behind being a spiritual guru, the monotone level of his emotion high or low was very very unnerving! Living with him was exhausting I lived in fear every day! Time to self reflected as to why I fed him and why I allowed it and why I stayed! Facing your own shadow, I thank him for the lesson 🙏💖🙏 Thank you for your time and energy Namase
Yes neither did mine but let me try to talk to her about her feelings and thoughts and such! But in the end I was worthless lol she was talking about herself!
Excellent information! My older sibling has used fear to control me. He has paid attention to all my weaknesses and used them against me. There is absolutely no love in this relationship. I finally figured out I had to go no contact with this monster. Hateful, devious and manipulating without any remorse. Stay away from these people. They will only cause you pain!
Yes! Sibling abuse is a very real problem that is very much under recognized. It begins at a young age and becomes the habit or pattern for the affected relationship. It also serves in part to create then affirm the narrative for the individuals involved. The abuse develops over the years to become a multipurpose tool for the abuser. The abuser first deceived themselves into thinking that they are in the right because the abused must deserve the abuse or they wouldn’t have been abused..... and then the abused is made to feel guilty..... and then right becomes wrong and wrong becomes right and it’s a huge mess. Moral of the story: no one HAS to have a relationship with a family member when it is doing damage to one’s self. Go your own way and forge a life for yourself. Be your own best person that you can be with God’s help. Leave those bad dynamics alone requiring everyone to respect boundaries including one’s self.
Please do a segment on malignant narcissist fathers specifically. Thank you for all your work and time Dr. Ramani. I went to your talk in New York, it was amazing. Hope you’re staying well and safe!
Would love that. That is my dad and he has an advanced degree in psychology. He’s 82 now. I’m about to turn 50. I’m a psychiatrist. You’d think he’d be proud...nope...”you have always been in competition with me”. Long history of emotionally and verbally abusing me and my wife (not to mention my mom...his long term enabler) and then threatening my wife. He is not allowed in our home and only allowed to see my daughter in a public place.
Dr Ramani, you just hit every angle of my past relationship so accurately that its eerie. He is now writing me letters from a rehab center (Christian based ministry program) even though we have been apart for 2years, and no contact on my part for 1 year. I'm honestly frightened that once he gets out of rehab, he may hurt or kill me. I was completely naive not thinking that these type of people exist in the world. I believed if I showed him enough love, he would not feel the need for abuse, control, angry outbursts, etc. I am so thankful for the criminal justice system. I was attacked by him one night while we were still in a relationship. I wouldn't have even called the police, but the neighbor thought I was being murdered and called. I didn't realize how severe his abuse was until the law finally stepped in to protect me. It has been 2 years away from him, and I still struggle with toxic hope and toxic fantasies about him. However, your channel snaps me back to reality, and I thank you for your information and support. These relationships are a safety concern for victims on so many levels.
If you really believe he might harm or kill you when he gets out, start taking protective measures now. These are the kind of men who are capable of killing a former partner. If you're reading his letters, you are NOT actually no contact, and he knows where you live. Move if you can. I'm serious. Protect yourself. Please.
Did he attack you out of the blue? My ex has never been violent towards me but I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible that he could harm me in retaliation to me leaving him. I'm refusing to come home but I worry that once he realises I'm definitely not coming back (because I give him the divorce papers) that he will really lash out
My sister. ALL three traits plus sadism. I was her target due to taking away from her the "baby of the family" throne. Afterwards I dared entering adulthood thin whereas she was fat. I can't even begin to explain what I've been through and how much my rest family let me down in protecting me.
@@xrc7445 this really hits for me. The family doesn't seem to see it no matter how obvious it is, they just think you're being too sensitive because the abuse is so crafty and subtle. I rarely come across other people who have also suffered from having a narc sister.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and spreading awareness. Free of charge. Many many people have and will greatly benefit from these videos. You are really providing a tremendous favor for humanity and we thank you for that. 🙏 god bless dr ramani
They do not feel empathy and immediately project the guilt they feel over their own action onto others. Therefore "cleansing" themselves of their wrongdoings and justifying and perpetuating their criminal or violent behaviour. Thank you! So hard to find people who see this.
An insight from someone whose malignant narcissist was a parent: the narcissist's paranoia over your "cheating" on them applies even in relationships which are not sexual or romantic. My malignant narcissist father demanded to know "who on the Internet was teaching me" to defy him. (Before I started watching this channel, I might add.) They're very good at spotting the signs their victims and supply people don't love them but will NEVER admit their behaviour was the cause. It's always someone else's fault.
My God! I've watched this series, so far with such a serious sense of doubt....Until now! I've heard the term Malignant Narcissist before, but equated to Overt - So I'd almost come around to thinking my ex must have been covert, because whilst she had overt qualities, she didn't fit the bill as closely. At a time I seriously thought maybe she was HPD, but again it didn't quite fit enough to remove my sense of doubt and that maybe I was filling in m y own gaps to validate my experience. I wasn't sure whether to watch this video or not; I considered it might just be another round of self doubt. However, never has any volume of information nailed my ex so perfectly! This video will change my life! Thank-you!
I feel the exact same way as you! It is like a lightbulb. I never heard of this type but this is exactly what my ex is like and so scary. I am asking the judge for a lifetime OFP after our children grow up...not exaggerating. He harasses me so badly with a court case coming in July. Imagine what it will be like after, and he knows every text is submitted to court!
Same here, my narc neighbor turned everyone just about in my community against me. I have no one to talk to about his narc behavior, because they have sided with him. I feel so alone, and I am tired. Interestingly, the neighbors that sided with the narc had problems with him also, and we would talk about it. Well, that all changed when the narc neighbors got them on his side
Went through the same thing! As extra as this sounds, try to restore these relationships if tou can. Print out articles on maglignant narcissist and triangulation and share it with people who sided with him. Or if you have their numbers, share this video or a video on narcissist triangulation. I know you probably don't want to appear "guilty"...but maybe some of these peiple will realize that you were the victim. His goal was to hurt and isolate you and you don't want to give him that power.
Narcissist can’t think for themselves, they stick to you even though they know they don’t like you. They criticize everything you do and then they turn around and copy everything you do. The narcissist wants EVERYTHING you have they’re nobody friend and when you catch them and point what they’re doing out they play victim and call you CRAZY.💯
Dr.Ramani. You have no idea how much you have helped me understand and move on. You are just an angel from Heaven.
4 года назад+16
These videos are incredibly informative, cannot thank you enough for making daily videos. They're healing and the comments make me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you!
Thank you for this episode. I recently wrote a letter to the President of the Board of directors of our mental health agency . I outlined the CEO’s malignant narcissistic abuse of my colleagues and me.
I've learned that my mother was a narcissist through watching your channel, however, until now I had only really heard of the grandiose and covert kind, and neither fit my mother very well. But now you've just described her perfectly in the first 3.5 minutes of the video. I'm anxious to keep watching
This a reminding me of that book series “50 Shades of Grey”. The books and movies seem like a advertisement for the malignant narcissist and the sad message that some special man or woman is going to change and save them😞
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Australia and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Cybertech-tracker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
Brilliantly explained. The "Swagger" so spot on, belies so much cowardice underneath (in the case of the covert more so than the Grandiose) in my personal experience. One of covert's biggest MO in my experience is to create doubt and confusion. It's so hard for genuine open hearted people to believe a person can be so callous and giving them the benefit of the doubt over and over is where empaths really put themselves in danger.
Yes our issue is projecting (seeing ourselves in them) onto them that which is in us and is absolutely nothing that they contain. We are only reflected back what they can mock, not truly feel.
I am very grateful for these videos. I feel like I've finally found the answer. My mother is a malignant narcissist and in my current romantic relationship I feel my partner doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell him. He looks at me like I've 2 heads, I've grown up with no one believing me when I'd tell them about the abuse I have endured. They say stuff like "but your mom is so lovely" Or "she really looks after you, you have everything". They look at me as if I'm lying. I'm 23 now and in my final year of Uni, with time I have developed my awareness and can see I'm not alone and I am a survivor of abuse. Planning to move out of my parents house in a few months and never look back x
Thanks again for explaining this. I’m married to a malignant narcissist but I have been separated from him for almost 2 years and a half. He refuses to divorce me and is so evil and manipulative. It’s so scary being around him and so dangerous. He used to beat me brutally when I was pregnant with our son. And only a few months ago he attacked me while dropping our son off to his preschool, stole my wallet, and all of my personal I.D.s, drivers license, my son’s civil ID and my bank cards. When we went to the police station, he denied all of it to the police. He acted like an innocent loving husband and the police thought he was a good guy who wanted his wife back!!!!! And yes he got out of it with no punishment. I had to re-issue all lost cards all over again. A day before this police incident he manipulatively convinced me to see him as he wanted to talk. He instead accused me of adultery based on no evidence, took my phone, and kidnapped my son and took him to his mother’s house. There in her house, I was going crazy, so he strangled me when I said I wanted my son back as I have custody over him, throwing me with all his might on the floor which brought bruises to my face, head, neck, and back. His flying monkey mother saw me lying on the floor almost unconscious and gasping for breath and did nothing. They all went inside the house like I was a slaughtered sheep in their house with my son crying for me. He is not only a malignant narcissist. He comes from a family of criminals and domestic abusers. I hope karma will one day bite them in the a#*.
Marie Rose I filed a suitcase for theft at the local police station. They investigated with him and he was out of jail the next day for the absence of evidence that he attacked me and stole my belongings. I also filed for divorce and the patriarchal judge rejected my request for divorce even with a report from the hospital and police station where he admitted to the domestic violence. The judge said all that beating I endured while pregnant was “disciplinary” for a wife!!!! Are we living in the medieval period or the 21st century? So you can imagine where he gets all his power from. The law itself is against women here.
My ex was this .. I didn't know if I was looking at BPD or NPD, but it didnt quite fit, she was sometimes completely evil, I saw it in photos and videos, her eyes, when caught unaware. And she tried destroying me behind my back. We went out for an evening meal, she tried to encourage me to have another drink .. and 5 minutes after we drove out of the car park i was pulled over by 3 police vehicles, breathalysed, and was told they had an anonymous call saying I was drunk driving . All I can figure is she made the call when she went to the toilet in the restaurant, I just couldn't figure it, nothing else made sense. Lots more things happened. And yes, total dominance, she even told me that I only had control in the relationship because she let's me; I overlooked it, what was the harm. This a real thing, and highly dangerous
Absolutely dangerous. One night we had a chat, and I was feeling she was talking a little bit strange, like acting. At the end i found out she was actually recording me, and tried to provoke me just to record it.
Wow. This is the high functioning narc I knew to a T. Thank God a series of events showed me who he was before I got sucked in too deep. ZERO empathy is shocking to experience and yes we have to stop celebrating and worshiping narcissism or this doesn’t end.
Exactly. People watch reality shows where the biggest narc is rewarded along with social media influencers who get rich being shallow and self centered.
Narcissist are really good at collecting data on their "victims" to build a rapport.They have their plans and God has his plans!! May God Almighty protect us from men like that!!!
You just described to a “T” my father & a relationship I got the heck out of w/ a famous person. It truly is TERRIFYING & is EVERYTHING you said EXACTLY. Even literal attempts on my life. 3 weeks ago, hit by a car - my vehicle & my body - while in a grocery store parking lot - PARKED. Terrifying control & exploitation. Thank you for helping us learn this. You could very well be a lifesaver.❤️🌸💗🦋💝
I really think mine had traits of a "covert victim" and a "malignant" narcissist. She was a little older 53 yrs old and was too crafty at wanting to know everything about me and at the same time trying to get me to hurry up and commit to a full relationship also mentioning marriage. In the beginning playing on my sympathy (covert victim) and the lovebombing and then she turned malignant when i wouldn't easily commit to a relationship. She was very demanding while also not having a job (although she claimed she couldn't work at the time because she was dealing with health issues). Just a lot of lies that she would constantly float. They are masters at lying and even if you catch them , they blow it off as no big deal. Very experienced at the game of lying and manipulation. I just instinctively felt i had to be cautious because if i committed to someone like this who knows the extent of hurt and damage they could cause and then just conveniently skip out on you when they get bored of you and want a new adventure. They'll just cause you drama and then conveniently go off with somebody else and simply blame the whole thing on you and you are left with the mess of their aftermath and picking up the pieces of the damage. It's a very scary and dangerous game.
I think narcs in general, are chameleons when going from one extreme to the next in some cases. However, maligs have extreme anger and control issues than other narcs. They can become very combative and vicious
@@dontbelongherefromanother One thing is sure that they will cause drama and fighting with a partner involving other people and not feel any real remorse. They can start a real shitstorm with real damage and act like they didn't do anything. And the crazy thing is the trauma bonded partner will overlook all of it and allow it. That's why if you want to survive and heal from this abuse you have to go no contact to be able to get your head straight.
@@abby2943 Yes i really had to dig deep down and find the strength to get away. I was trauma bonded and allowing the narc to abuse me and i was allowing it. It just finally got bad enough that all i thought about was how i was going to get away from her. Narcissists are not to be played with, they will find your weaknesses and destroy you.
My ex (who is 21 years older) would push for marriage and the more he talked about it( everyday), the more financially, verbally, physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive he would get..
Thank You for this...ready to hear part 2.....my last relationship he fits so close to this.....all that you described is him....been injured by him....ended up with a protective order....currently he is on the run for violating his probation when he injured me 3yrs ago.....its been horrible but i watch all your videos and i understand now what happened to me....im a nurse im a very kind person i always went back thinking i could help him🥺 Im 7months free from him and I pray everyday that i dont ever encounter him again....Thank You Dr. RAMANI for doing this❤
You've been so helpful towards my ability to cope with my narssasitic mother and sister, dysfunctional family behavior including family mobing, gaslighting, and invalidation towards myself, the scapegoat. I have spent most of my life very anxious, abusing medication, and feeling very confused and isolated. FiNALLY understanding what the f... Is going on and why, has allowed me to release a lot of pain, and given me an extremely helpful "roadmap" to dealing with the deep sadness and trauma it has caused in my life. Thank you Dr. Ramini. You are a FABULOUS woman and have dramatically helped change my life for the better! Please keep doing what your doing:)
When I told Mr. Happy i wanted a divorce my youngest child was 3 years old. I agreed to counseling. He convinced the therapist that i was a bad mother. I was petrified of losing my children so I tried to stick it out. He ultimately launched a smear campaign and turned the children against me. My divorce cost 160K. I never got to speak to a judge. Luckily i got away from him.
@@kaylakramer7413 you have been to hell and back. Somehow your exhusband knew how to use the system and he played it well. You are lucky to be alive. I know you love your children and have fought so hard, but sometimes you have to make the choice to just leave. It sounds like your life is in danger. By fighting back with your ex, you are giving him oxygen that he thrives on. Pease consider going NO CONTACT with the NARCISSIST. Sending prayers from NY
@@kaylakramer7413 it's been 7 years for me and I still have "bad days". You have been through a lot. Try to document and record phone calls. If possible get a nanny cam. If he hurts you, call 911 and have him arrested. And give yourself time to grieve. You have been through a lot and SURVIVED!!!! It's okay to have a bad day. There will be many wonderful tomorrows. Try to take baby steps for now. Sending positivity from NY
An amazing explanation of these scary creatures, i was married to one for 10 yrs. he had hidden cameras in every room ( I never discovered where they were ) and he controlled every device remotely. Even turning lights and kettles on and off while I was alone, then suggesting it’s probably the spirit of my dead sister letting me know she’s around
You might want to watch Dr. Ramani's commentary about the movie "The Invisible Man" - she talks about this type of behavior and how the movie tracks with the real life experience with some of us. And then either watch the movie, which you will understand on a whole different level than most folks, or avoid it because it would be triggering as hell.
proper weirdo, it’s horrendous, I would shower in the pitch black darkness incase of cameras, he once came up the stairs and went berserk that I was doing this,,, which confirmed it for me. My family and friends thought I was going mad too, you feel so alone
Geneva Lawrence, i will catch Dr Ramani’s video on this, but watching the Invisible man would freak me out, I watched a soap opera with a narc doing these things and I started having a panic attack, I have some ptsd now that won’t let me face the full horror properly.
Dr Ramani- I’ve been watching your videos for some time now but this video was an exact description of my exhusband. It was like you knew him and were describing him to a T. Thank you for sharing your perspective; I’m looking forward to more videos from you on this topic.
I'm a survivor, on a way to thrive. 💪🏽 I know, If I can do it, you all can! 🔥 It might sound crazy, but I think that everyone that's a narcissist-magnet must come across a strong damaging narcissist. 🤔 The reason is: we have been so primed to take the abuse that it doesn't feel so, unless someone thrashes us left, right and centre. It's deeply agonizing but a wake-up call. 🔔Apart from getting healed from the abuse of one narcissist, we get trained in escaping such monsters in future. 🏋️ The universe has loads of energy for you, you need not depend on any sadist to derive it from. 🌞 More power to all the good people out there! 🌍 You CAN do it! 💜
I'm two and a half minutes in and I'm already feeling very shook. The meanness and control and smiles with dark eye contact when the worst threats were made..... balanced with narc traits of lovebombing, encouraging superficiality, joking and forcing the point that "it's over" because they apologized, or else get ready for them to get REALLY mad and threatening....... I'm glad this Malignant subtype is being talked about. I often feel I escaped death and tragedy by the skin of my teeth and it makes living today surreal. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
@Elizabeth Collier I can have utmost respect for their knowledge, however that isnt the basis of my respect. My respect is based on how they use the knowledge.
Thank you Doc! I’ve finally fitted my ex to the right Narc description, although he definitely has undertones of others too. So many comments made my heart race and my stomach drop, I feel quite unsettled. I always felt uneasy around him but didn’t know why. He was so paranoid that everyone was infecting him with their negativity because they were so jealous of him he used to take salt baths to wash the negativity away. He once refused to speak with his best ‘friend’ of 43 years when he was in hospital because he didn’t want to be infected by his negativity on being ill. He thought everybody was looking at him in good and bays ways when they weren’t. He thought men on the street were looking at him when they were looking at me! He thought security in shopping malls were looking at him. He never once in 2 years left his mobile unattended or face up. He assaulted me once because he wanted to buy me a gift and I said no because I wanted him to save his money!!!! He would always ‘joke’ when we were driving past woods that he was going to chop my body into tiny pieces and bury them there. I finally ended it because he was having an affair, he didn’t even try to hide it posting pictures on social media, blocking me but knowing my friends or family could easily see it which they did. Then HE was FURIOUS at ME when I confronted him telling me he doesn’t need this stress!! An absolute pathological liar who would lie about the smallest of things constantly for absolutely no reason like lifting objects unable to be lifted without a machine and children calling him the hulk, I heard that one about 5 different times. He had a dream that he was the priminister of Scotland and the next day went out and bought Scottish number plates for his car. It used to scare me how fearless he was, I don’t think that’s normal. He’s paid people to forge documents for him in the past. Ive given him over £1000 that he never paid back. The king of gaslighting his bad behaviour and threatening to leave me if I questioned anything at all. He used to get excited whenever I cried. I’m sure he’s a psychopathic sadist.... Chilling.
I live with my narcissist mom, it is emotionally and mentally draining. I know once my dad passes away I’m going to be the next victim if I don’t get away from her. I’m not financially stable enough to live on my own especially with my 3 yr old. So I’m making due but I dread my life everyday. She’s exactly like the Beldam from the movie Coraline.
I’m glad I found this. I knew my former employer was a narcissist, but now I know which kind she is. This is horrifying, but validating. I’m glad I only stayed for 2 months. So many red flags.
After receiving a promotion I was put under a malignant narcissist. After 18 months I quit. I was with the company for 14 years. Despite many people complaining & leaving the manager was able to put spin on anything and run rings around people who don’t understand that some people do not have best interests of people at heart
Hello Dr Ramani and thank you for sharing your expertise with us. I would really appreciate if you consider addressing the jealousy issue(not in a relationship but in general) and how to deal with it in an upcoming video. Thank you in advance.
Again, bells and awareness going off with each sentence. I’m surprised my ex spouse and I lasted 4 years. I’m not one to be controlled after training with a covert mother. My spirit will ALWAYS override pathetic and ugly behavior. After triangulation started my spouse said, “I will never have the integrity you do”. Not sure what the motivation was behind that but she was right. Empaths Rise Up... please don’t go down the rabbit hole with these very disturbed people. “If you want to know that, go read my book” almost made coffee come out of my nose. A new Neti Pot idea. Make it a brilliant day. 🐬
I believe that is the only way we survive a narc family and not turn out like them. We are empaths, and from a very early age our narcissist parent’s behavior is very off to us. We learn to love them and comply but never respect. We live in confusion of why they cannot love us how our friends parents love them. And I strongly agree with “My spirit will always override” because we know it is wrong and somehow we believe in love and normal healthy relationships still exist.
Every video is what I need to hear dealing with my ex malignant narcissist is pure hell! Just the notification bell that rings when he messages me makes me have the bubble guts 🤒 🤕 He’s toxic manipulations make me sick physically mentally emotionally financially!
They don't care about being unethical, unless they think they can gain something by accusing others of it. Then it becomes the most important issue around.
Omg! He is a malignant narcissist💔 How did I got so "lucky"? I still ask myself that question. How did I end up in that situation, choosing not so good. At the same time they are so charming, like, very, very dangerously charming. It so confusing, from one extreme to the other, and they project all their traits on to others, it is awful. I do not know what I would do without your help, education, support and guidance. Thank you forever Dr. Ramani💕
I just ran from this kind of narcissist. Wow... It was intense. No one believed me, but that supervisor was terrifying. What they said and did when I was alone with them was so twisted... I called a spade a spade and left. If I were in the Milgram Experiment, I would have told him to take a hike.
I could not put my finger on his personality pathology. Extremely socially skilled, manipulative, Machiavellian, deceitful; but also neurotic, getting frothed up when stressed. Could not be a psychopath. Malignant narcissist! Bingo! Thank you, Dr. Ramani.
Well this confirmed what I suspected about my malignant narc neighbor! Dark tired for sure and I've always felt that she could be dangerous! I currently practice "no contact", however this does not appease the apprehension and worry about leaving my property when she's around... Thank You Doctor Ramani, I look forward to the next two parts of this series.
I lived next to a scary narc for 21 yrs! It was awful. The more I ignored her and avoided her the worse it got. It wore me out. I rearranged my day to avoid seeing her! It’s no fair to have to live like that! They do not respect your privacy or property ! They need attention ! It was a no win situation!! Most people talk about romantic relationships , but a narc neighbor is very scary! I new what she was right away, having grown up around narcs! So glad we moved away! But narcs are everywhere ! Unfortunately .
The narc neighbour I had the pleasure of being around, had whole parties where they had full view into every part of my garden. Totally no privacy at all. A bunch of people would be staring in my face, while I tried to relax
Part One is chilling enough! Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani. 🙂 Both of my siblings married these types. My siblings felt weak and in need of a strong personality to be allied with. Someone who could do their battles for them. Both of these in laws have been problems to me. We were once a close family, but both in-laws were terribly threatened by anyone who could have influence over their partners. So I was repeatedly kicked around and bullied. BUT NEVER IN FRONT OF ANYONE. My siblings don't believe me. If anyone can relate to this, my advice would be to not allow yourself to be with them without witnesses present. Also, they will do physical damage to your property as an "accident". I saw my SIL do some damage purposefully when she didn't think anyone was watching. If I decided to make this known, I'd be told (of course) that I'm crazy and imagining things, so deluded and mind controlled are my brother and sister by now.😬
I had experienced a trauma and was in a period of grief, crying nearly every day. Apparently a friend thought I was trying to intentionally manipulate them...even though I wasn't asking them for something and then crying if they said no, I was just crying on and off throughout the day as thoughts and memories came up. I was trying to let it out and thought I was with someone emotionally safe. They were very convinced that I wanted them to....go buy me things....whenever I cried in front of them. I stood and stared at them, that wasn't at all how my mind was working. That's what tipped me off at first, their complaints about me were all strange misconceptions and really off assumptions about my behavior and intentions. Projecting.
I've been learning about narcissism for over a year now as I've been trying to sort out my childhood and figure out what the hell happened, why it happened, and to know that none of it was my fault. The more I learn the darker it has become. I've finally been able to face the fact that statements my narc father as made, the way he treated my mother and my siblings, there had to be more than merely narcissism (like that's not bad enough). Very recently I have come to understand that psychopathy has played a role, and when you mentioned the dark triad that seems to fit the bill. I've learned so much from you, Dr. Ramani. Thank you for your tireless effort to make people aware of those in our society, in our lives, who only know how to use, abuse, and discard people.
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I was lied into marrying this type of narcissist. I’m not even a year in and I can tell you he’s not rude. Rude doesn’t describe him it’s the word EVIL. I’m trying to save money to get out of this. Please pray.
Praying for you🙏🏻💕
Omg Payden are you okay now how are you ??? I’m also stuck living with an abusive older sibling feel like I’m
Dying I’m trying to escape this year but it’s just a lot involved before I can even leave 😔
I feel for you I am in situation and feel trapped
Great job in figuring him out while in the marriage! That's not easy [ I had no idea - was made to believe I have all kinds of faults].
I am certain you will do whatever it takes to ensure your safety. I wish I had my money out of the joint account [ earned more than him- he took all] and important papers. When out - keep the idea of Restraining order from him as an option if he acts up [mine did -to bring me back to him]. You may also know who your true friends are. Be careful and safe. There is challenge for a life in a new direction - but there is safety from weekly trauma. My prayers surround you. You will be safe and with a much firmer footing in life.
Praying for you Love!
N O C O N T A C T ! ! Don't ever reach out to them under any circumstances....EVER!
They have a special agenda for you the 2nd go around and it isn't good! Stay strong! Don't let your mind cherry pick good memories of them
There are people out here who will give you "real" love and affection without an agenda ❤
You are absolutely right! It is a VERY SPECIAL AGENDA. They are so calculating. They are very dangerous. If they can DESTROY their own children and families and feel nothing, they must be capable of anything. Better duck.
Real talk i really needed to see your comment today thanks!👏👏👏
@@colette2612 Yes, you are right thanks!
Colette Ogata YES! Then blame the children for being ungrateful and act like they are the victim-being punished for trying to “do the right thing”. They are competent delusional.
They are still soulless as ever.
They can't stand it if you are feeling good, feeling confidence about your improvements, even as little as they can be.
Be very scared. Run and don't even think about looking back because you dodged a train.
But be smart when you run. They are most dangerous if they know you're getting ready to leave. These are the people who are capable of killing a partner.
And still be prepared to have your life wrecked.
My narc (used to be the best friend) got my drinks tampered so that she could sleep with me. When I did not, she told everyone that I was the culprit.
Ended up losing my job and career...But now back on track after 4 years.
Sorry you’ve been through that. Very destructive. glad you rebuilt what’s important to you. 👏🏽👏🏽
So true! It’s like they literally go to pieces if someone is happy and feeling a smidgen of confidence. It’s almost unreal how ticked off they get about someone else’s happiness. Malignant narcissists are truly malignantly miserable demons.
@@LoweringMyProfile yep 100%
If you are feeling good they won't rest until they make you feel like crap.
Yep
that was my experience...hated my happiness.
That's sounds so pathetic and funny, but at the end of the day, it can be dangerous
So true. Malignant narcissists will try to make you scared of their rage, if you say no to their desires.
Malignant narcissists can be patient. They can play the long game and wait until they have you in a position of vulnerability (i.e. - you're pregnant, you're living in a foreign country where you can't get a work VISA, you're half a world away from family, you don't speak the language, etc.) before they ramp up the coercive control.
Yeah that's right
This is what my ex husband did
My husband of 30 yrs has always been this way, but he’s a combination of the different kinds of narcissists. We have lived in another country since 2008, but with covid we came back to USA as soon as flights were open because of better online schools for my then 13 yr old. But since being in US with him, everything we did was wrong. She had too much homework, she didn’t spend time with the family “ in his presence “ . Which was mostly because of his constant fighting with everyone. Then, with 1 simple ?… he started the silent treatment. He asked us where did we want to live. Our response was , here in America. Nope wrong answer. So, we didn’t know if we were staying or leaving. Then it was you can stay just because I want you to. But he was saying some pretty threatening things to our daughter when no one could hear. She finally told me. And this one time I heard him, (pre I now know not to engage with you) I asked him why he says things like that, tears included. And he says “your moms crying again “… my daughter said because you always say crap like that. OMG he started jumping around… went to my daughter took her glasses off her face.. had her by the wrists.. terrior on her face. He brought her to the bext room where i was. I immediately got up and told him” you not going to hurt her” over snd over… he says to her do you want to call the police on me? He said it like 2-3 times… her response was if you want me to. He lost his mind… started screaming thats it you’re going back overseas.. and you’re never coming back to thus country, your mom can come back to visit her family but not you… just screaming so I called my 25 yr old son… told him to come home. My husband said “did you call the police “? When my son got home the story of the events were not even close to what happened.. his version. After my daughter CALLED HIM CRAP , she came up to him with glaring eyes in an aggressive manner and it was my fault because my tone made her react that way, and everything he said and did was in joke not serious. We were terrified, but he was only joking. And had gone silent again. We are “visiting “ my family in another state until its time to travel. Which he and his brother are going as well but only for two weeks. I’m comfortable with my bro n law going.. that means husband will be in his Im a great person mode. I dont have the option of leaving and going no contact. He would not EVER let that happen. So staying with this man and going as grey rock as possible is our only option, having both my kids do the same. Thanks for listening…
Lived this.. living hell
Yes, it is shocking what a long game they can play
They stare at you like your a bug under a glass . The psychopathic stare the black hate on their face that you catch for a minute before it’s replaced with a smile that doesn’t match their eyes. Any way they can hurt you they will do it.
This describes it perfectly.
Truth!
Yes, great description of them. You are an object to be used for what they want. And they want everything.
Ah, I know that stare.
@@pandoraw259 They all have that "dead gaze." To see it is very unsettling.
Malignant Narcissists are the most dangerous. They are the worst. I lived with one for a very long time and he got worst. Very cruel, aggressive, paranoid and hungry for power, control and obsessed with money. Horrible mood swings. Still trying to recover but this videos help me understand what I went through. Thank you Dr Ramani!!! Love to hear your Pot casts.
Maria Roehe yup that’s mine 27 years I changed the locks this past dec ur spot on
I was married to one, but was lucky to escape quickly, so he didn’t cause much damage to me. No contact for 4 years!!!!
I lived with one for 17 years. My mother.
Snap! I am still trying to break free from this angry controlling erratic man
obsessed with money. i was oncein his car in the puoring rain and he didnt switch on the wippers to save them. my mouth fell open to this never have i ever witnessed this. this was my x bf.
Thank you. You just described my husband. A retired high ranking military officer. He is obnoxious, entitled, and cruel behind closed doors but a shining hero to everyone else. I’m the crazy one
Yes, Jekyll and Hide. That's how I describe my ex. Charming to everyone else, but abusive to me behind closed doors. He was like two different people.
You're not crazy. My father is like this.
I'm sorry. I wish they did a better job instilling the sense of honor in us. You can jump on a grenade but if you enjoy hurting the person you are supposed to protect you have 0 honor..
That's my dad. He was charming and no one can believe nor do they want to hear how bad he was
@@free_software_channelRight on… that is 110% the truth!!!✨
I almost died twice when I was a child because of my Malignant narcissistic mother. So it's true that they are actually putting their children's safety at serious risk. I am now safe. Thank You Dr. Ramani❤️
Hi. I'm glad you're safe now. - I was in similar circumstances. To this day, I've been gaslighted by everyone I've tried to get help from. They just won't believe it was that bad. - I'm almost completely on my own. Would you mind sharing who else's work or strategies have helped you?
My mother was very sadistic. She enjoyed hurting me and smiled when she did it. I've left and never gone back. I would like to know what other books on this subject anyone can suggest.
THANK YOU, I needed this. My mom is a malignant narcissist. I'm not old enough to leave my home yet ( I'm fourteen), so I'm looking for survival tips.
Keep a great distance from. Be polite but not social, they will use everything you say & do against you. She is more than likely, Jealous of you therefore she does not an will not ever like you or love you.
I have a mother that is that way. I’m fortunate enough to not have to deal with her. But I dealt with her craziness for 40 yrs. I cut all ties.
Grey rock, give her compliments, keep your room spotless, stay quiet, don't bring friends home, can you get a babysitting job where they'll want you to sleep over, don't under estimate her craziness because you're just entering your beautiful stage and she'll become jealous of that too! Keep your cool, you've got more behind you than ahead, good luck, keep your health up!
There are people there that can help you if you are feeling at risk - children’s aid societies, the police, or when school comes back then ask to talk to a counselor or your teacher. As well, your doctor might be someone who can help you. If your safety is at risk or you are feeling mentally abused then don’t hesitate to ask for help. I wish you a safe journey as you grow up - remember this is not you.
You should probably find a trusted adult outside of the house (and family) to befriend, for not only your own mental health going forward, but as a safety net and confidante. Any friend's moms, dads, or adult siblings you think are cool that your mom doesn't know? It's for your safety and trust that she doesn't know them, not for hiding anything from her.
blessing to you!
Having been at the receiving end of a malignant Narc’s cold blooded cruelty and witnessing his mind boggling delusions, my heart skipped a few beats watching this video. It is indeed unsettling that a person can be this way. How do they even live with themselves?
So true.. I started feeling his dead eyes staring at me..... They should not be part of this world. You can sense them smiling even sitting 1000 miles away at your pain and miserable life.
All serial killers, fraudsters, molesters, rapists... are malignant. Your ex likely had fantasies of doing evil things you can't even imagine. He likely did evil things you don't even know about. He was likely constantly on the edge, 1 second from putting your head through the drywall of your home.
They only live in their delusions.
They don't feel remorse, so it's easy for them to live with themselves. They also feel they have a right to these behaviors so they don't feel it's wrong to begin with.
It's MORE unsettling that so many people gave one access to the gd NUCLEAR CODES.
So true. They seem so attentive to you. Later you understand it meant nothing good.
That careful listening is how they become an expert on you, and make it easier to exploit you.
Truth be told
Exactly! Just watch Meghan Markle with Harry....total facade!!
This is SCARY accurate. He was so intense, paranoid, mean, and AGGRESSIVE. Never felt comfortable in his presence
It is, but things cannot be fully labeled because the world ain't black and white.. there are many colors to it.
I’m so sorry anyone who has gone through this. It’s the absolute worst thing one can go through.
My mother is, I think, a malignant narcissist. I grew up in terror of her. There was the understanding at home that I must obey her 100% at all times. I am from Asia and there is this idea already, that parents must be obeyed. But this was a different type of obedience. Any time I disagreed with her she would fly into a huge rage and run at full speed after me and sometimes chase me up the stairs. She would complain about how difficult I was to the neighbors when she didn't get her way. This was for even the smallest of things. Every one thought that I was a problem child as she would constantly badmouth me to anyone and everyone, particularly, if anyone praised me. She would say that they had no idea what type of a person I was and that I had thrown a huge tantrum when I was 5 years old and had troubled her at the time when she was sick. I was the scapegoat. I grew up believing that I was the scum of the earth. My mother was very charming and extremely social and probably still, is. She always had a lot of friends and whenever any of my friends would visit me, she would dominate the conversation and completely cut me off. It felt like she robbed me of my friends as she would not let me interact with them. I started having panic attacks and anxiety issues during social interactions.
Things got worse when I got married. She constantly interfered and badmouthed my marriage to others and told others for years that I was on the verge of getting a divorce. People would call me to ask me what had happened to my marriage. She was just ruthless. When she started acting mean to my 1 year old daughter, I decided that it was time to cut her off and I did. She has since, used hoovering techniques and flying monkeys to lure me in and has badmouthed me to every person that I know. There is no relationship left with anyone. I am blamed for leaving the mother and moving on, something unheard of in Asian culture, where gratitude towards parents is expected. Nobody asks if the parent has been a good parent to the child. These videos are an absolute blessing to people like me who have never heard of narcissism. I just wish that I had known about this concept earlier. I am very cautious around people. I am trying to do better for my daughter.
Bless you for being so brave for yourself, your husband and your daughter. May you have sunshine every day.
May you and yours be protected all the days of your life. Amen
Oh man, this sounds like exactly like my mother! Once she continued to try and manipulate my children and repay people for things they did against her, which was all in her head obviously, that’s when I cut all contact. It’s been such a difficult journey and my mom was an absolute horror when my husband had stage IV cancer and she made sure she had no way to take care of me and my kids if husband passed(sole breadwinner). She sold my childhood home and emptied out my dads 401K all in the attempt to make sure she wouldn’t have to be responsible for us. So thankful that I’m making sure that my children do not have to endure her sadistic nature and constant manipulation. The Lord makes a way when there seems to be no way. ❤️
Because of the Asian culture, malignant narcissism of parents are prevalent but they have no name for it. A lot of children fall victim and lead very dysfunctional lives too and the cycle continues. "Saving face" is the rule so families does not discuss their dysfunctions. Not a lot of Asian children will dare to question much more confront their dysfunctional parents. It's really sad and dangerous to their psychological make up.
I could write a lot about my experiences, but let me tell you; I know exactly how you feel and why. I was lucky to have an opportunity to see through it when I was young enough to decide to not have any children and to break the vicious circle.
A former boss was a malignant narcissist. When I started going to therapy and recognizing the dynamic, i began drawing solid boundaries and demanded over time pay. The day i got fired was the best day of my life 🕺🏿🕺🏿🕺🏿
This was my dad. You can have a normal life, and even, thrive in your life, even when you've been programmed by such person.
It’s scaring me and comforting me how relatable all these comments are. Jesus Christ.
This was my dad! Oh my! The demand for obedience. The control. "People want to believe the narrative!" I was 32 before my eyes were opened.
my dad too. Its really a nightmare beyond compare. We're lucky to be alive.
Yes, the Control. I'm 56, and he's 41---- yet he wanted to control Me and tell me how to behave.... ▶😀😳😳😁
I’ll be 32 in a few months... I just found out today my dad fits covert narcissist (I thought he wasn’t) and so far sounds like my mom fits malignant... (I thought she was covert)
@@ruthvansandt9713so sorry. Mine are the other way around - mom is covert, dad is malignant.
You just described my EX. He nearly destroyed me, He made me think I was going crazy, was married for 38 yrs
I had a therapist tell me that all sociopaths/psychopaths are narcissists but not the other way around. My ex was a twice diagnosed psychopath. Took years to get over my time with him.
True, overlapping traits
Well done for finding a therapist who saw him for who imhe is. Most therapists are fooled by narcs.
@Gordon Fornow The low level idiot psychopath can get diagnosed in prison, the type that has an IQ of 95, and no impulse control, usually they are repeat offenders and end up getting diagnosed in prison with Anti social PD, how ever a diagnosis of Primary psychopathy is much harder to achieve, likely this woman's ex was given an ASPD diagnosis, but that doesn't guarantee he is psychopathic primarily, you can be a secondary psychopath for example, but not have the brain wiring for primary psychopathy, and you would still be given the ASPD label.
Omg, I thought it was only me who had my (now-ex) get Dx as antisocial; but by the time he admitted he'd been in therapy, and that was his Dx, he knew I was primed to not believe it. Five years out and still healing.
I’m sorry to here you had to go through that. I believe you because I dodged a bullet about 5 years ago. Met a woman who turned out to be cruel and narcissistic. The damage she did in a month to my brain with her bs affected me a lot. I dodged a bullet because fortunately for me she discarded me as soon as I questioned her lies.
There’s no sugar-coating it with Dr. R. ‘It’s going to get scarier’. That’s why she’s a part of my healing journey. Thx Doc...you’re the bomb!
Truly!!
My father terrorized me as a child and adult as well as my family. I knew that he was trying to destroy me at any opportunity. I wondered if I were paranoid in dreading that he would either civilly commit me to an institution or choose the man I would marry. He was definitively a malignant narcissist. Another layer was my sister who was a regular toxic narcissist. I recently attained clarity about these two relationships and have achieved a serenity not imagined. It wasn't me. It was them.
Both my parents had sickening big teethy smiles around others and were just plain hidiously evil at home
O M G! Lived this for 18 months and went NO CONTACT! Done forever. I've never seen anything like it. Callous, cold, cruel, cunning, calculating, the list goes on but Dr. Ramani's description fits to a TEE!
@@holyspark5438 two great descriptive words for MN! Especially “ominous.” That feeling of looming imminent danger that they use to intimidate those who can see through their faux faces and faux words and behaviors. When a person, no matter who they are, can steal your joy like that, you must get them out of your life.
I was married to one who was a pastor. He isolated our church, and preached that basically only we (he)
had truth. Long, long story of how it finally ended. Whew!!!! So glad to be free!! Thank you for bringing this terrible dynamic to the light!!
I am very happy for you! Stay strong and have healthy life!
The malignant narc I know is a pastor too. He preaches the Gospel while doing pretty much the opposite of whatever is said in the Bible. He's a pathological liar who is extremely arrogant & entitled, but knows how to play the humble pastor when it suits him. The level of duplicity is astounding.
Sounds like a Jonestown situation in the making. Fascinating how many narcissists find their hold on people in religion.
The False prophet narrative😅 reminds me of the Nation of Islam which Malcolm X left.
@@ldoe8731 I think to be aware of wolves in sheep's clothing that teach man has a part in salvation. Anything other than Jesus is from the devil
Been there... escaped with my life... literally!!! The most terrifying person I have EVER, EVER, met, yet it still took a few years to totally cut the emotional strings that had bound us. My heart goes out to anyone still trapped in a relationship with these consummate manipulators!!! Leave while you still have your life and CUT ALL CONTACT!!! Stay safe 💕
I've been on parole for almost 4years now.i did my time of 18 years with a malignant Narcissist with ASPD. I have went full No Contact. You have to with these types ..I cant tell you how many times I have almost died by his hands. Diagnosed PTSD. MDD.GAD.and PD..I still watch my back and keep my guard up .he will always hate me.the one that got away!
How did you leave ?? I’m
Stuck with an older brother who is this and he is so abusive I need help 😔
Report thier acts to the police, get a no contact order, even tho it will not stop them from stalking you, triangualiting you, get it on record, of you have to shoot them, you want this in the system, cover your ass! If you don't have a gun, get one from a son or your sons friend, trust me, someone will bring you a pistol when you tell them what he's doing, use it if you have to!
I did no contact day 3 now he was sitting in my area by my home when I went to work I kept walking it's creepy I work grave yard so I'm very cautious going home early in the am he's sick 🤢 mentally psychopathic narcissist
I totally agree with the last stop of the train assessment. What I am living through has gotten so far beyond what you typically hear about narcissistic abuse and all its horrors. The cruelty is rally reaching a scary peak
This type sounds like how my dad was growing up. He was so controlling over me and emotionally I never felt safe. He was also verbally abusive. He used my fear of him to his advantage.
This describes my ex to a tee. I allowed this dangerous behavior for 8 years without knowing it was abusive. I believed he wanted to bring me security, and in the end wrecked my mental and physical well-being, where I could live to be safe, and my finances. And to think I stood by and allowed it all to happen right under my nose. It wasn’t until the life-threatening physical abuse occurred and the psychological abuse drove me to near suicide when I realized how sick he was making me - which led me to seek a better understanding of what I was dealing with. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but I know I am not alone. I’m just glad this type of information is available to help others when they awake to the reality of their situation. Thank you Dr.
I was married to a malignant narcissist for 9 years . He tried to kill me numerous times,He tried to kill me by crashing our car on my side ( I survived), a week later he ended up dying on a boat , while with his mistress( she survived) .Found out he took a life insurance out on my life .
lucky you survived
These people live like their lives are a freaking movie 🎥. At the beginning, their dramatic existence is alluring and exciting, but beware, this is a warning ⚠️ sign.
omg
The goat: you aint a psycopath my friend. Psychopaths dont know they are disordered because they are emotionally arrested amongst other reasons. Tired of fake , attention seeking people claiming to be psychopaths. Please know these claims are fradulent or delusional.
Omg I’m so glad you’re okay
This really gave me chills. Every single point Dr Ramanin said was my experience. I spent 7 years in a relationship with a MN. When I finally left, I was completely gutted, mentally unstable and riddled with anxiety. I moved to another state to get away from him. He would swing back and forth so fast with his moods/displays of love or hate. Towards the end I was in fear for my life( knives pulled on me, threats of having guns hidden, etc). I was a 23 year old girl with a history of abuse when I met him. Just fell right into the trap of his charm and GRANDNESS. Ive spent many years in therapy learning about what I actually went through and how to cope/recover from it. What’s even more frightening is that he is now almost 70 years old and still abusing young women.
I hear you Delisa, all of it. I too am still affected by it and reshaping my life and mind and health from it. I'm about to cut out my 73 year old step dad, he's the last of them. It's a frigging tornado isnt it. I hope you're doing well, and keeping God close to you. It's all ok. Keep well. Jack
Oh boy, this guy should be behind bars!
I thought my daughter in law of 3 years was covert until I saw this. She is here, and everything described is on point. Everything. Sometimes I pray that my son might actually wake up over the next couple of years and get out alive with his son. I am already No Contact and a 1000 miles away, because she has him thinking her unfounded lies might have some teeth to them. All she had to do was ask, but she would never. She'd rather believe her own projections as truth on others instead of herself.
@@jackgoodings Praying on it does work. You have to be willing to help yourself and keep the faith.
The light cancels the dark and they are dark entities.
Pegasus 514 Amen Pegasus! In these situations a person must stay in prayer because God will deliver us and set us free from these demonic beings.
Violence was a big part of my childhood, reason being I was a bad child. It was a horror. Caused me a lifelong struggle 2 trust, love, & survive daily living. I'm so glad this is being brought 2 the forefront of understanding how 2 spot, combat, & avoid this abuse..
I had 2 of these for parents. They hated each other and were physically abusive, and my.mother took out all her rage on me. I became the scapegoat and my sister is of course the golden child. I recently walked away from all of them, at 48. Growing up with this kind of trauma, I think it may have contributed to my having Multiple Sclerosis. I've been researching the links between trauma and physical illness, and it makes me angry.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart Dr Ramani. It's been a long and lonely road to recovery, thank goodness for these healing videos ♥
We're a community here, you're not alone anymore. ♥
You're not alone
A thousand times over! This, unfortunately, is my father.
Sending you lots of love during your recovery from narcissistic abuse ❤
It sure is a long lonely road to recovery, but I'm determined.
I was married to one of these for 20 years!!!Notice I said WAS!!!!
Let it die alone.
Don’t know how you did it he must had your self esteem low, gaslighted & you scared
Right behind you at 14 years thank God you got out!
Prove that he was one and you Not labeling an a hole
Was!!!😉 So happy for you, keep healing and you did it be proud!
My ex narc never showed any anger but I could feel it bubbling away under the surface, he had total control over it! It was very unsettling, if I ever dared to question him or put him in an uncomfortable position when questioning how he felt, or try to get him to open up emotionally, his body language was painful, ear pulling, cheek scratching, chin rubbing, he was cunning deceitful always planning calculating! He hides behind being a spiritual guru, the monotone level of his emotion high or low was very very unnerving! Living with him was exhausting I lived in fear every day! Time to self reflected as to why I fed him and why I allowed it and why I stayed! Facing your own shadow, I thank him for the lesson 🙏💖🙏 Thank you for your time and energy Namase
Yes neither did mine but let me try to talk to her about her feelings and thoughts and such! But in the end I was worthless lol she was talking about herself!
You have to think how absolutely tragic it is to walk in their shoes! It must be like living in a constant train wreck!!
They can’t stand it if you are just naturally happy and authentic. They will do everything to destroy you
This was my mother. And even more so, now my sister.... I have NEVER heard it described more accurately EVER. I AM BLOWN AWAY
I look so forward to these videos; it's like therapy and a university seminar wrapped into one. Thank you.
…This! ❤️👏
Excellent information! My older sibling has used fear to control me. He has paid attention to all my weaknesses and used them against me. There is absolutely no love in this relationship. I finally figured out I had to go no contact with this monster. Hateful, devious and manipulating without any remorse. Stay away from these people. They will only cause you pain!
My younger sibling did this.
Yes! Sibling abuse is a very real problem that is very much under recognized. It begins at a young age and becomes the habit or pattern for the affected relationship. It also serves in part to create then affirm the narrative for the individuals involved. The abuse develops over the years to become a multipurpose tool for the abuser. The abuser first deceived themselves into thinking that they are in the right because the abused must deserve the abuse or they wouldn’t have been abused..... and then the abused is made to feel guilty..... and then right becomes wrong and wrong becomes right and it’s a huge mess. Moral of the story: no one HAS to have a relationship with a family member when it is doing damage to one’s self. Go your own way and forge a life for yourself. Be your own best person that you can be with God’s help. Leave those bad dynamics alone requiring everyone to respect boundaries including one’s self.
Please do a segment on malignant narcissist fathers specifically. Thank you for all your work and time Dr. Ramani.
I went to your talk in New York, it was amazing.
Hope you’re staying well and safe!
Would love that. That is my dad and he has an advanced degree in psychology. He’s 82 now. I’m about to turn 50. I’m a psychiatrist. You’d think he’d be proud...nope...”you have always been in competition with me”. Long history of emotionally and verbally abusing me and my wife (not to mention my mom...his long term enabler) and then threatening my wife. He is not allowed in our home and only allowed to see my daughter in a public place.
The look in their eyes when they go off is terrifying, evil!
I had a manager who was like this! I developed anxiety and ptsd after working with her because of the multiple manipulation and abuse tactics.
Dr Ramani, you just hit every angle of my past relationship so accurately that its eerie. He is now writing me letters from a rehab center (Christian based ministry program) even though we have been apart for 2years, and no contact on my part for 1 year. I'm honestly frightened that once he gets out of rehab, he may hurt or kill me. I was completely naive not thinking that these type of people exist in the world. I believed if I showed him enough love, he would not feel the need for abuse, control, angry outbursts, etc. I am so thankful for the criminal justice system. I was attacked by him one night while we were still in a relationship. I wouldn't have even called the police, but the neighbor thought I was being murdered and called. I didn't realize how severe his abuse was until the law finally stepped in to protect me. It has been 2 years away from him, and I still struggle with toxic hope and toxic fantasies about him. However, your channel snaps me back to reality, and I thank you for your information and support. These relationships are a safety concern for victims on so many levels.
If you really believe he might harm or kill you when he gets out, start taking protective measures now. These are the kind of men who are capable of killing a former partner. If you're reading his letters, you are NOT actually no contact, and he knows where you live. Move if you can. I'm serious. Protect yourself. Please.
@@genevalawrence801 Good advice.
These people are demons!
Yikes.
I would suggest you move and do not let him have access to your address. He will return.
Did he attack you out of the blue? My ex has never been violent towards me but I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible that he could harm me in retaliation to me leaving him. I'm refusing to come home but I worry that once he realises I'm definitely not coming back (because I give him the divorce papers) that he will really lash out
Guys, read up on the Dark Triad. It is seriously disturbing. My narc had traits of machiavellianism. Made my skin crawl to the nth degree 😖
My sister, EXACTLY.
My sister. ALL three traits plus sadism. I was her target due to taking away from her the "baby of the family" throne. Afterwards I dared entering adulthood thin whereas she was fat. I can't even begin to explain what I've been through and how much my rest family let me down in protecting me.
@@xrc7445 ABSOLUTELY! My little sister, same. She abused my folks to death.
@@xrc7445 this really hits for me. The family doesn't seem to see it no matter how obvious it is, they just think you're being too sensitive because the abuse is so crafty and subtle. I rarely come across other people who have also suffered from having a narc sister.
@@xrc7445 this sounds interesting- I wonder if it was like my experience
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and spreading awareness. Free of charge. Many many people have and will greatly benefit from these videos. You are really providing a tremendous favor for humanity and we thank you for that. 🙏 god bless dr ramani
They do not feel empathy and immediately project the guilt they feel over their own action onto others. Therefore "cleansing" themselves of their wrongdoings and justifying and perpetuating their criminal or violent behaviour. Thank you! So hard to find people who see this.
An insight from someone whose malignant narcissist was a parent: the narcissist's paranoia over your "cheating" on them applies even in relationships which are not sexual or romantic. My malignant narcissist father demanded to know "who on the Internet was teaching me" to defy him. (Before I started watching this channel, I might add.) They're very good at spotting the signs their victims and supply people don't love them but will NEVER admit their behaviour was the cause. It's always someone else's fault.
You are saving my life Doc. Thank you so much
My God! I've watched this series, so far with such a serious sense of doubt....Until now! I've heard the term Malignant Narcissist before, but equated to Overt - So I'd almost come around to thinking my ex must have been covert, because whilst she had overt qualities, she didn't fit the bill as closely. At a time I seriously thought maybe she was HPD, but again it didn't quite fit enough to remove my sense of doubt and that maybe I was filling in m y own gaps to validate my experience.
I wasn't sure whether to watch this video or not; I considered it might just be another round of self doubt. However, never has any volume of information nailed my ex so perfectly! This video will change my life! Thank-you!
I feel the exact same way as you! It is like a lightbulb. I never heard of this type but this is exactly what my ex is like and so scary. I am asking the judge for a lifetime OFP after our children grow up...not exaggerating. He harasses me so badly with a court case coming in July. Imagine what it will be like after, and he knows every text is submitted to court!
me too. ex husband. takes years to get over it.
Same here, this video was finally a bingo for me.
I’m sorry you had to experience that kind of mind fuck.
I wish you the best in your recovery. You deserved better.
I’m sorry you had to experience that kind of mind fuck.
I wish you the best in your recovery. You deserved better.
They turn everyone against us I have had my whole community turned against me cause someone with maliginant tendencies .
Same here, my narc neighbor turned everyone just about in my community against me. I have no one to talk to about his narc behavior, because they have sided with him. I feel so alone, and I am tired. Interestingly, the neighbors that sided with the narc had problems with him also, and we would talk about it. Well, that all changed when the narc neighbors got them on his side
Went through the same thing! As extra as this sounds, try to restore these relationships if tou can. Print out articles on maglignant narcissist and triangulation and share it with people who sided with him. Or if you have their numbers, share this video or a video on narcissist triangulation. I know you probably don't want to appear "guilty"...but maybe some of these peiple will realize that you were the victim. His goal was to hurt and isolate you and you don't want to give him that power.
😎 is right. These evil little megalomaniac bullies need to be exposed for who and what they are: a danger to civil society.
Im going through that too and it hurts alot more than the realising he is a narc.
I'm currently going through the same situation, they're demons from the pit of hell.
Narcissist can’t think for themselves, they stick to you even though they know they don’t like you. They criticize everything you do and then they turn around and copy everything you do. The narcissist wants EVERYTHING you have they’re nobody friend and when you catch them and point what they’re doing out they play victim and call you CRAZY.💯
Dr.Ramani. You have no idea how much you have helped me understand and move on. You are just an angel from Heaven.
These videos are incredibly informative, cannot thank you enough for making daily videos. They're healing and the comments make me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you!
Thank you for this episode. I recently wrote a letter to the President of the Board of directors of our mental health agency . I outlined the CEO’s malignant narcissistic abuse of my colleagues and me.
I've learned that my mother was a narcissist through watching your channel, however, until now I had only really heard of the grandiose and covert kind, and neither fit my mother very well. But now you've just described her perfectly in the first 3.5 minutes of the video. I'm anxious to keep watching
Raised by a malignant narcissist.
Hell would be nicer than the hell my mother has caused in my life !!!! Pure evil!!!!!!!!!
My experience with the malignant narcissist opened my eyes onto the entire world of toxic people and patterns. Thankful for that.
This a reminding me of that book series “50 Shades of Grey”. The books and movies seem like a advertisement for the malignant narcissist and the sad message that some special man or woman is going to change and save them😞
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Australia and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Cybertech-tracker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
Never watched it but always felt like it was a mysogynistic film endorsing emotional violence and pathology.
Who watches that crap? 😳
Good point...
Oh yes I saw a little of the first but never till end, it disgusted me, not because of the sex but I dont like Mr. Grey
Brilliantly explained. The "Swagger" so spot on, belies so much cowardice underneath (in the case of the covert more so than the Grandiose) in my personal experience. One of covert's biggest MO in my experience is to create doubt and confusion. It's so hard for genuine open hearted people to believe a person can be so callous and giving them the benefit of the doubt over and over is where empaths really put themselves in danger.
Nailed it.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Yes our issue is projecting (seeing ourselves in them) onto them that which is in us and is absolutely nothing that they contain. We are only reflected back what they can mock, not truly feel.
This sounds EXACTLY like my stepfather... I'm sick to my stomach.
This is my evil stepdad too. It is a nightmare and im sorry you are going through this
Sorry to both of you. ❤
I am very grateful for these videos. I feel like I've finally found the answer. My mother is a malignant narcissist and in my current romantic relationship I feel my partner doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell him. He looks at me like I've 2 heads, I've grown up with no one believing me when I'd tell them about the abuse I have endured. They say stuff like "but your mom is so lovely" Or "she really looks after you, you have everything". They look at me as if I'm lying. I'm 23 now and in my final year of Uni, with time I have developed my awareness and can see I'm not alone and I am a survivor of abuse. Planning to move out of my parents house in a few months and never look back x
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
OR AN EQUIVALENT FOR PSYCHOLOGY.
SERIOUSLY YOU DESERVE IT DR
Thanks again for explaining this. I’m married to a malignant narcissist but I have been separated from him for almost 2 years and a half. He refuses to divorce me and is so evil and manipulative. It’s so scary being around him and so dangerous. He used to beat me brutally when I was pregnant with our son. And only a few months ago he attacked me while dropping our son off to his preschool, stole my wallet, and all of my personal I.D.s, drivers license, my son’s civil ID and my bank cards. When we went to the police station, he denied all of it to the police. He acted like an innocent loving husband and the police thought he was a good guy who wanted his wife back!!!!! And yes he got out of it with no punishment. I had to re-issue all lost cards all over again. A day before this police incident he manipulatively convinced me to see him as he wanted to talk. He instead accused me of adultery based on no evidence, took my phone, and kidnapped my son and took him to his mother’s house. There in her house, I was going crazy, so he strangled me when I said I wanted my son back as I have custody over him, throwing me with all his might on the floor which brought bruises to my face, head, neck, and back. His flying monkey mother saw me lying on the floor almost unconscious and gasping for breath and did nothing. They all went inside the house like I was a slaughtered sheep in their house with my son crying for me. He is not only a malignant narcissist. He comes from a family of criminals and domestic abusers. I hope karma will one day bite them in the a#*.
My God. Is there some legal help that you can get? This is more than horrible.
Marie Rose I filed a suitcase for theft at the local police station. They investigated with him and he was out of jail the next day for the absence of evidence that he attacked me and stole my belongings. I also filed for divorce and the patriarchal judge rejected my request for divorce even with a report from the hospital and police station where he admitted to the domestic violence. The judge said all that beating I endured while pregnant was “disciplinary” for a wife!!!! Are we living in the medieval period or the 21st century? So you can imagine where he gets all his power from. The law itself is against women here.
@@Pittsa86 Do you live in the USA?
The so called justice system enables these people!
My ex was this .. I didn't know if I was looking at BPD or NPD, but it didnt quite fit, she was sometimes completely evil, I saw it in photos and videos, her eyes, when caught unaware. And she tried destroying me behind my back. We went out for an evening meal, she tried to encourage me to have another drink .. and 5 minutes after we drove out of the car park i was pulled over by 3 police vehicles, breathalysed, and was told they had an anonymous call saying I was drunk driving . All I can figure is she made the call when she went to the toilet in the restaurant, I just couldn't figure it, nothing else made sense. Lots more things happened. And yes, total dominance, she even told me that I only had control in the relationship because she let's me; I overlooked it, what was the harm.
This a real thing, and highly dangerous
Absolutely dangerous. One night we had a chat, and I was feeling she was talking a little bit strange, like acting.
At the end i found out she was actually recording me, and tried to provoke me just to record it.
she stole my son, I don't think he will ever get out, she is evil.
Wow. This is the high functioning narc I knew to a T. Thank God a series of events showed me who he was before I got sucked in too deep. ZERO empathy is shocking to experience and yes we have to stop celebrating and worshiping narcissism or this doesn’t end.
Exactly. People watch reality shows where the biggest narc is rewarded along with social media influencers who get rich being shallow and self centered.
Narcissist are really good at collecting data on their "victims" to build a rapport.They have their plans and God has his plans!! May God Almighty protect us from men like that!!!
and women ..
Amen girl!!
This has been what I've experienced 16 years. To the T. Everything she's described. She's spot on.
You just described to a “T” my father & a relationship I got the heck out of w/ a famous person. It truly is TERRIFYING & is EVERYTHING you said EXACTLY. Even literal attempts on my life. 3 weeks ago, hit by a car - my vehicle & my body - while in a grocery store parking lot - PARKED. Terrifying control & exploitation. Thank you for helping us learn this. You could very well be a lifesaver.❤️🌸💗🦋💝
I really think mine had traits of a "covert victim" and a "malignant" narcissist. She was a little older 53 yrs old and was too crafty at wanting to know everything about me and at the same time trying to get me to hurry up and commit to a full relationship also mentioning marriage. In the beginning playing on my sympathy (covert victim) and the lovebombing and then she turned malignant when i wouldn't easily commit to a relationship. She was very demanding while also not having a job (although she claimed she couldn't work at the time because she was dealing with health issues). Just a lot of lies that she would constantly float. They are masters at lying and even if you catch them , they blow it off as no big deal. Very experienced at the game of lying and manipulation. I just instinctively felt i had to be cautious because if i committed to someone like this who knows the extent of hurt and damage they could cause and then just conveniently skip out on you when they get bored of you and want a new adventure. They'll just cause you drama and then conveniently go off with somebody else and simply blame the whole thing on you and you are left with the mess of their aftermath and picking up the pieces of the damage. It's a very scary and dangerous game.
good decision on your part. super proud.
I think narcs in general, are chameleons when going from one extreme to the next in some cases. However, maligs have extreme anger and control issues than other narcs. They can become very combative and vicious
@@dontbelongherefromanother One thing is sure that they will cause drama and fighting with a partner involving other people and not feel any real remorse. They can start a real shitstorm with real damage and act like they didn't do anything. And the crazy thing is the trauma bonded partner will overlook all of it and allow it. That's why if you want to survive and heal from this abuse you have to go no contact to be able to get your head straight.
@@abby2943 Yes i really had to dig deep down and find the strength to get away. I was trauma bonded and allowing the narc to abuse me and i was allowing it. It just finally got bad enough that all i thought about was how i was going to get away from her. Narcissists are not to be played with, they will find your weaknesses and destroy you.
My ex (who is 21 years older) would push for marriage and the more he talked about it( everyday), the more financially, verbally, physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive he would get..
Thank You for this...ready to hear part 2.....my last relationship he fits so close to this.....all that you described is him....been injured by him....ended up with a protective order....currently he is on the run for violating his probation when he injured me 3yrs ago.....its been horrible but i watch all your videos and i understand now what happened to me....im a nurse im a very kind person i always went back thinking i could help him🥺
Im 7months free from him and I pray everyday that i dont ever encounter him again....Thank You Dr. RAMANI for doing this❤
You've been so helpful towards my ability to cope with my narssasitic mother and sister, dysfunctional family behavior including family mobing, gaslighting, and invalidation towards myself, the scapegoat. I have spent most of my life very anxious, abusing medication, and feeling very confused and isolated. FiNALLY understanding what the f... Is going on and why, has allowed me to release a lot of pain, and given me an extremely helpful "roadmap" to dealing with the deep sadness and trauma it has caused in my life. Thank you Dr. Ramini. You are a FABULOUS woman and have dramatically helped change my life for the better! Please keep doing what your doing:)
When I told Mr. Happy i wanted a divorce my youngest child was 3 years old. I agreed to counseling. He convinced the therapist that i was a bad mother. I was petrified of losing my children so I tried to stick it out. He ultimately launched a smear campaign and turned the children against me. My divorce cost 160K. I never got to speak to a judge. Luckily i got away from him.
@@kaylakramer7413 you have been to hell and back. Somehow your exhusband knew how to use the system and he played it well. You are lucky to be alive. I know you love your children and have fought so hard, but sometimes you have to make the choice to just leave. It sounds like your life is in danger. By fighting back with your ex, you are giving him oxygen that he thrives on. Pease consider going NO CONTACT with the NARCISSIST. Sending prayers from NY
@@kaylakramer7413 it's been 7 years for me and I still have "bad days". You have been through a lot. Try to document and record phone calls. If possible get a nanny cam. If he hurts you, call 911 and have him arrested. And give yourself time to grieve. You have been through a lot and SURVIVED!!!! It's okay to have a bad day. There will be many wonderful tomorrows. Try to take baby steps for now. Sending positivity from NY
Good for you to get out.
@@kaylakramer7413 I am praying for you Kayla. Jesus loves you so much. You are saved by his death, burial, and resurrection.
@@kaylakramer7413 Jesus came to save those broken things Kayla. My heart goes out to you.
O my o my. So many things become clearer. Can t wait for tomorrow
An amazing explanation of these scary creatures, i was married to one for 10 yrs. he had hidden cameras in every room ( I never discovered where they were ) and he controlled every device remotely. Even turning lights and kettles on and off while I was alone, then suggesting it’s probably the spirit of my dead sister letting me know she’s around
You might want to watch Dr. Ramani's commentary about the movie "The Invisible Man" - she talks about this type of behavior and how the movie tracks with the real life experience with some of us. And then either watch the movie, which you will understand on a whole different level than most folks, or avoid it because it would be triggering as hell.
proper weirdo, it’s horrendous, I would shower in the pitch black darkness incase of cameras, he once came up the stairs and went berserk that I was doing this,,, which confirmed it for me. My family and friends thought I was going mad too, you feel so alone
Geneva Lawrence, i will catch Dr Ramani’s video on this, but watching the Invisible man would freak me out, I watched a soap opera with a narc doing these things and I started having a panic attack, I have some ptsd now that won’t let me face the full horror properly.
Wow. That is some extra messed up shenanigans. Just wow.
Geneva Lawrence this is the thing, i get anxious about watching videos about covert spying, i'm not sure i'm ready to face that yet
Dr Ramani- I’ve been watching your videos for some time now but this video was an exact description of my exhusband. It was like you knew him and were describing him to a T. Thank you for sharing your perspective; I’m looking forward to more videos from you on this topic.
I'm a survivor, on a way to thrive. 💪🏽
I know, If I can do it, you all can! 🔥
It might sound crazy, but I think that everyone that's a narcissist-magnet must come across a strong damaging narcissist. 🤔
The reason is: we have been so primed to take the abuse that it doesn't feel so, unless someone thrashes us left, right and centre. It's deeply agonizing but a wake-up call. 🔔Apart from getting healed from the abuse of one narcissist, we get trained in escaping such monsters in future. 🏋️
The universe has loads of energy for you, you need not depend on any sadist to derive it from. 🌞 More power to all the good people out there! 🌍
You CAN do it! 💜
I'm two and a half minutes in and I'm already feeling very shook. The meanness and control and smiles with dark eye contact when the worst threats were made..... balanced with narc traits of lovebombing, encouraging superficiality, joking and forcing the point that "it's over" because they apologized, or else get ready for them to get REALLY mad and threatening....... I'm glad this Malignant subtype is being talked about. I often feel I escaped death and tragedy by the skin of my teeth and it makes living today surreal. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
Omg this is so true about the medical feild. The hierarchy has destroyed our medical system.
@Elizabeth Collier I can have utmost respect for their knowledge, however that isnt the basis of my respect. My respect is based on how they use the knowledge.
Thank you Doc! I’ve finally fitted my ex to the right Narc description, although he definitely has undertones of others too. So many comments made my heart race and my stomach drop, I feel quite unsettled. I always felt uneasy around him but didn’t know why. He was so paranoid that everyone was infecting him with their negativity because they were so jealous of him he used to take salt baths to wash the negativity away. He once refused to speak with his best ‘friend’ of 43 years when he was in hospital because he didn’t want to be infected by his negativity on being ill. He thought everybody was looking at him in good and bays ways when they weren’t. He thought men on the street were looking at him when they were looking at me! He thought security in shopping malls were looking at him. He never once in 2 years left his mobile unattended or face up. He assaulted me once because he wanted to buy me a gift and I said no because I wanted him to save his money!!!! He would always ‘joke’ when we were driving past woods that he was going to chop my body into tiny pieces and bury them there. I finally ended it because he was having an affair, he didn’t even try to hide it posting pictures on social media, blocking me but knowing my friends or family could easily see it which they did. Then HE was FURIOUS at ME when I confronted him telling me he doesn’t need this stress!! An absolute pathological liar who would lie about the smallest of things constantly for absolutely no reason like lifting objects unable to be lifted without a machine and children calling him the hulk, I heard that one about 5 different times. He had a dream that he was the priminister of Scotland and the next day went out and bought Scottish number plates for his car. It used to scare me how fearless he was, I don’t think that’s normal. He’s paid people to forge documents for him in the past. Ive given him over £1000 that he never paid back. The king of gaslighting his bad behaviour and threatening to leave me if I questioned anything at all. He used to get excited whenever I cried. I’m sure he’s a psychopathic sadist.... Chilling.
I live with my narcissist mom, it is emotionally and mentally draining. I know once my dad passes away I’m going to be the next victim if I don’t get away from her. I’m not financially stable enough to live on my own especially with my 3 yr old. So I’m making due but I dread my life everyday. She’s exactly like the Beldam from the movie Coraline.
Make a plan. Find a supportive person such as a therapist. Go live your life in peace.
That book, is a perfect example.
My mom has some traits in common with the Beldam too.
Get out as soon as you can...your life is very precious!! Namaste ❤
Get away hon, she'll worsen!
I’m glad I found this. I knew my former employer was a narcissist, but now I know which kind she is. This is horrifying, but validating. I’m glad I only stayed for 2 months. So many red flags.
After receiving a promotion I was put under a malignant narcissist. After 18 months I quit. I was with the company for 14 years. Despite many people complaining & leaving the manager was able to put spin on anything and run rings around people who don’t understand that some people do not have best interests of people at heart
Hello Dr Ramani and thank you for sharing your expertise with us. I would really appreciate if you consider addressing the jealousy issue(not in a relationship but in general) and how to deal with it in an upcoming video. Thank you in advance.
Again, bells and awareness going off with each sentence. I’m surprised my ex spouse and I lasted 4 years. I’m not one to be controlled after training with a covert mother. My spirit will ALWAYS override pathetic and ugly behavior. After triangulation started my spouse said, “I will never have the integrity you do”. Not sure what the motivation was behind that but she was right. Empaths Rise Up... please don’t go down the rabbit hole with these very disturbed people.
“If you want to know that, go read my book” almost made coffee come out of my nose. A new Neti Pot idea. Make it a brilliant day. 🐬
I believe that is the only way we survive a narc family and not turn out like them. We are empaths, and from a very early age our narcissist parent’s behavior is very off to us. We learn to love them and comply but never respect. We live in confusion of why they cannot love us how our friends parents love them. And I strongly agree with “My spirit will always override” because we know it is wrong and somehow we believe in love and normal healthy relationships still exist.
Every video is what I need to hear dealing with my ex malignant narcissist is pure hell! Just the notification bell that rings when he messages me makes me have the bubble guts 🤒 🤕 He’s toxic manipulations make me sick physically mentally emotionally financially!
8:14, thank you for showing the mindset of this person. it is helpful because i really do not comprehend it.
This is good to watch because i think identified a malignant narcissist in my life.
They don't care about being unethical, unless they think they can gain something by accusing others of it. Then it becomes the most important issue around.
Omg! He is a malignant narcissist💔 How did I got so "lucky"? I still ask myself that question. How did I end up in that situation, choosing not so good. At the same time they are so charming, like, very, very dangerously charming. It so confusing, from one extreme to the other, and they project all their traits on to others, it is awful. I do not know what I would do without your help, education, support and guidance. Thank you forever Dr. Ramani💕
I am so grateful for you doing this work and helping us being informed! Bless your heart, Dr. Ramani. 🙏🏻❤️
I just ran from this kind of narcissist. Wow... It was intense. No one believed me, but that supervisor was terrifying. What they said and did when I was alone with them was so twisted... I called a spade a spade and left. If I were in the Milgram Experiment, I would have told him to take a hike.
I could not put my finger on his personality pathology. Extremely socially skilled, manipulative, Machiavellian, deceitful; but also neurotic, getting frothed up when stressed. Could not be a psychopath. Malignant narcissist! Bingo! Thank you, Dr. Ramani.
Well this confirmed what I suspected about my malignant narc neighbor! Dark tired for sure and I've always felt that she could be dangerous! I currently practice "no contact", however this does not appease the apprehension and worry about leaving my property when she's around...
Thank You Doctor Ramani, I look forward to the next two parts of this series.
I lived next to a scary narc for 21 yrs! It was awful. The more I ignored her and avoided her the worse it got. It wore me out. I rearranged my day to avoid seeing her! It’s no fair to have to live like that! They do not respect your privacy or property ! They need attention ! It was a no win situation!! Most people talk about romantic relationships , but a narc neighbor is very scary! I new what she was right away, having grown up around narcs! So glad we moved away! But narcs are everywhere ! Unfortunately .
The narc neighbour I had the pleasure of being around, had whole parties where they had full view into every part of my garden. Totally no privacy at all. A bunch of people would be staring in my face, while I tried to relax
Part One is chilling enough! Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani. 🙂 Both of my siblings married these types. My siblings felt weak and in need of a strong personality to be allied with. Someone who could do their battles for them. Both of these in laws have been problems to me. We were once a close family, but both in-laws were terribly threatened by anyone who could have influence over their partners. So I was repeatedly kicked around and bullied. BUT NEVER IN FRONT OF ANYONE. My siblings don't believe me. If anyone can relate to this, my advice would be to not allow yourself to be with them without witnesses present. Also, they will do physical damage to your property as an "accident". I saw my SIL do some damage purposefully when she didn't think anyone was watching. If I decided to make this known, I'd be told (of course) that I'm crazy and imagining things, so deluded and mind controlled are my brother and sister by now.😬
Yes and yes. My ex damaged what little items they returned. Evil people.
I had experienced a trauma and was in a period of grief, crying nearly every day. Apparently a friend thought I was trying to intentionally manipulate them...even though I wasn't asking them for something and then crying if they said no, I was just crying on and off throughout the day as thoughts and memories came up. I was trying to let it out and thought I was with someone emotionally safe. They were very convinced that I wanted them to....go buy me things....whenever I cried in front of them. I stood and stared at them, that wasn't at all how my mind was working.
That's what tipped me off at first, their complaints about me were all strange misconceptions and really off assumptions about my behavior and intentions. Projecting.
I've been learning about narcissism for over a year now as I've been trying to sort out my childhood and figure out what the hell happened, why it happened, and to know that none of it was my fault. The more I learn the darker it has become. I've finally been able to face the fact that statements my narc father as made, the way he treated my mother and my siblings, there had to be more than merely narcissism (like that's not bad enough). Very recently I have come to understand that psychopathy has played a role, and when you mentioned the dark triad that seems to fit the bill. I've learned so much from you, Dr. Ramani. Thank you for your tireless effort to make people aware of those in our society, in our lives, who only know how to use, abuse, and discard people.
Dr Ramani, thank you. You are wonderful. God must have given you a heart of titanium to be an expert in this horrible and unfortunate area of life