(s6e4) CHRISTIAN PARENTING vs GENTLE PARENTING | Discipline • Christian Family • Biblical Womanhood
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
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BOOK | Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family
AUTHOR | Paul Tripp
00:00 Teaser
00:52 The Law Does Not Regenerate
02:54 Examples
06:22 The Law's Purpose
09:03 Children as servants
11:40 Grace to Sin
15:55 Those who hate the child
21:00 Sin & Consequence
ABOUT THIS CHANNEL | I am a wife to an exceptional man, a mother to beloved daughters, a diligent homemaker, and a businesswoman. But before all these roles I am a woman who belongs to The Lord. A daughter to the God of The Bible through the work of my savior Jesus Christ. On this channel, you will enjoy content designed to cultivate a rich experience of biblical womanhood. You will be encouraged to place your true hope and faith in the Lord. You will also hear hard discussions about accountability and personal responsibility for your life and what it produces. We embrace real character and integrity as much as we do physical beauty and femininity. We are called to be women of our Father's Kingdom and to honor Him with our speech, actions, and modest yet feminine dress. I would love to have you along for the ride as we embrace a manner of life that brings honor to the name of our Father and get to the work of accomplishing our mission.
#GentleParenting #ChristianParenting #ChristianWomen
*13:19** SCRIPTURE CORRECTION*
10Now therefore the sword shall *NEVER* depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’
2 Samuel 12:10
So true. I’m a Kenyan and there’s a Swahili saying/proverb that says, “if you don’t discipline your child, the world will.”
Amen. I like how true and to the point that saying is. Hopefully that wisdom can spread in the US too.
i definitely needed to hear this. I have a 10 month old and I'm thinking back to my childhood, how my parents disciplined me and I still fell into the world and everything it had to offer because I felt suppressed. I heard from another creator that part of the problem is that our modern culture pushes children out of the house at 18 rather than young women having their fathers as their head until they have their husband as their head (headship according to 1 corinthians 11:3). Our parents spend their whole youth raising us, trying to keep the world away from us, and then we get sent out into the world with little experience and no one to guide us so we allow our flesh to guide us, until those of us who are gifted with faith begin being guided by the Holy Spirit. Thankfully I was one of those and now as a wife and mother, I am thinking so hard about how I can help my child choose Christ and avoid my mistakes, but this video was really encouraging. I can do all that I can do, but at the end of the day, the Lord chooses who gets faith and who doesn't and "If you do what is right, wont you be accepted?"(Genesis 4:7)
I needed to hear this.
Just borebour second child and with our first I was very "gentle" in my parenting and now my child needs more discipline I am now learning to now respect and honor my husband and I so NOW with our second, I pray with such wisdom (Hallelujah for Proverbs) to nip this early and not tolerate shenanigans~
I find this to be very true, BUT: I dont think it is a lack of discipline that leads people to mess up in their lives, but its a lack of either discipline or love because the two together is what empowers children to grow into responsible adults. There are people who had discipline but no love, and people who had love but no discipline. Neither of them will be ready to take responsibility for their own actions, thoughts and feelings.
trying to navigate parenting is so hard because I didn't grow up with any discipline nor love. As a mum, it's hard to know the proper way to discipline without being too harsh
@@juleswifey6003 The best parenting advice I've gotten is to try your best to be consistent. Set reasonable boundaries and expectations that your kids know and consistently enforce them.
The main issue is when parents let their kids do something over and over again and then snap and lose their tempers and yell at them instead of dealing with it the first time.
So for example, you tell a kid to stop jumping on the furniture and they keep doing it. You tell them in a serious/firm voice that this is your warning and if you jump on the furniture one more time you get X consequence. And if they do it again you immediately follow through. They will test you at first, but over time they learn real quick that you are consistent and they start obeying right away.
That way there is no need for the yelling and harshness. You told them to obey you. They chose to disobey, so they earned a consequence. You were clear with the rules and expectations and they made a poor choice.
When parents are constantly yelling at their kids it means their kids have not learned to respect their parents authority. Yelling is a sign that as a parent you are not in control. The kids are. But it is never too late to right the ship and turn over a new leaf to be more consistent.
And on the other side, I highly recommend learning each child's love language and make sure to keep their love tank full in the way that they feel loved.
So if their love language is quality time make sure to plan activities or time to spend just the two of you. If it's words of affirmation, make sure to praise them and use lots of encouraging words. And so on. And it's good to show your kids love with all of the languages, but my mom primarily showed love through acts of service, but my love language is quality time. I would have loved to have had more one on one time with her. And now I know that my poor mom probably felt less loved because her love language was acts of service and I just tried to hang out with her 😂.
I hope this helps 💕
Thank you Bindi foe speaking the truth of what rhe Holy Spirit alone can do. I hear a ton of people who are our age in 30s and 40s expres online in certain comment forums particularly pertaining to religion their experiences of hurt and "enforced" religion (some of which is solely perspective based) nevertheless. What you said is an important thing for parents to know because those children now as adults scoff and mock those well meaning attempts of their own parents and produces and has produced at large a generation who doesn't teach those biblical laws and boundaries and so is it any wonder becauee of our failure to teach and share about the power of Jesus and love of His and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit...of having an active, effective, consistent, powerful prayer life...is it any wonder to us that so many young people are seeking out a "safe place" elsewhere because they haven't been demonstrated the safety of the Rock?
Excellent explanations! This is one of your best VLOGS! You said so many solid things here. I will be listening to this one more than once! ❤️❤️❤️
This book completely changed my approach to parenting - I found it in our church library one day and devoured it. Hoping this video helps it reach a broader audience!
Thanks for this incredible clarification. Very logival and grpunding. It is the difference between being an authoritative (not autjoritarian) and a permissive parent.
I love that you said that parents cannot do what the Holy spirit is meant to do and also parents used their kids as slave. I was used as my mom's slave. Cooking, cleaning and doing everything for her. Children are not meant to be a parent's free maid. This is sooooo good.
Children should be cleaning up after themselves though, that is something I wish my mom instilled in me. Any mess they make should be on them. They should also learn how to cook just in case. A lot of parents go from one extreme to the other. Because some parents treat their children like cinderella before she met the fairy god mother, now you have other parents who do EVERYTHING for their kids. Like no, if that child made a mess, they need to clean it up. Competant children who are given space to be children is the gold standard in my eyes. You're doing a disservice to them not teaching them important skills and not giving them daily responsibilites from a young age.
@ezzy2195 You're correct, but when a mother uses her kids as a slave and does not work alongside that child, what do you call that? For example, I was never given an opportunity to read, watch a movie, and study for my exams. I was always cooking and cleaning. For example, on my final exams in college, I had to go make groceries for the family before rushing to go and write my exams. I wake up early every day to prepare breakfast for the family of 9 while my mother is still sleeping. What do you call that? If that is not an abuse of power, I don't know what that is. I am still healing from childhood trauma that my mother has caused me. My kids can do almost everything, but I always teach and monitor and not make them an extension of myself. They have a life. I was never given an opportunity to be a child. I don't have any memory of childhood, and that still hurts.
@@Parentingwiththefutureinmind I'm so sorry ❤️ I definitely did not mean that. I certainly don't believe in babying a child. They should 100% have their free time to do what they want.
Hello, thank you for being a vessel. I am a new mom and been saved for over 5 yrs. My husband is a believer like me. This video helped me to reflect on our parenting as believers but also hardto find sorces for me as i parent my husband's kids before our kid. Its definitely different and also could be difficult for me, when my instinct is sooo natural with our son, but struggle to have the same kind of approach with the other kids. We talking around 2-3 yrs olds. I do feel like my transition and acceptance towards our family being extended has now got better but i do think that theres alot of unsaid things that sometimes hard to navigate even sometimes biblically. For example: i know i do this disciplining to my own child, which is easy and no brainer, and when sometimes i had to discipline or teach the other kids i sometimes may overthink, doubt, question, compare that and the effects to the kids. For me even when the bible say it very simple, i do tend to still kind of ask questions like, "how do i do or approach then?" Etc.
Anyways thank you for your videos, they are very helpful, encouragung, and accountsble. God bless. 😊
You hit it right on the nose again Bindi!!! 🙌🏿💕
Your content is always aligned with what I need thank you!
Thank you.
Thanks for sharing this word.
Thankyou for speaking the truth of the word!
When having this discussion we have to ensure we clearly distinct when there is an over-discipline which leads to over-obedience (people pleasing) which can also be detriment to the child in the outside world. Over-obedience can lead to people-pleasing trait in the child, which people in the real world could also show no compassion for. People in the real world can take advantage of someone they believe has been brought up in the right way and take advantage of they kindness. We ought to teach our children discipline but with extra lesson in excersing discernment.
Thank you Bindi 🙏 wise words x
There is a difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting in my experience Jesus parented me in a gentle parenting manner firm but gentle
Woo! Such an important teaching. Definitely needed this. Thank you!
Wow so powerful! Im reminded beautifully, God bless you richliy for this work you are doing!
Wise teaching!
Solid discussion.
Thankful for a black women speaking on these things. We need more representation in the Christian community to talk about these things . It's like taboo to take responsibility and accountability in our community and it's only hurting us and our futures !
So thankful for God changing the hearts of men and women and this saving some of the future generations
Wow!!!!!! Your hair is beautiful!
I needed to hear this ❤. Thank ioi
Just bought the book 📕 ❤
AMEN!
This is important to know. I pray the Holy Spirit brings it always to rememberance.
I got kick out from my parents house at 18 for not going to college
Is that book shepherding a child’s heart? Excellent book. I want to read through it again.
Hmm. I've been reflecting this past week especially with snls disgraceful portrayal of accountability when it comes to murderous speech okayed by major universities and having interacted also this past week on a debate of women having the gift of teaching from the Holy Spirit and the Bible hammer unhealed men respond with to not encourage but discourage the sisters out there that have the gift from God and aren't just claiming they are a prophetess like jezebel...I think of our generational evolution here of how we have both biblically and even in the general or secular realm gotten to this place of not listening and not having just a heart of stone turned to a heart of flesh but also the need to pray for ourselves and for others to have a willing heart to learn from The Lord. And from one another. Becauee you're correct. Our license of grace so many have been administering is hurting other believer s and it is hurting even non believers and not even on a spiritual level necessarily. I see more and more teachers posting those I love to teach and they went to school and invested and the parents are paying these teachers to teach but then make the teachers lives miserable and impossible to actually do their jobs and they steal others joy and that's wrong.
Personal preference, but I would have loved for the video to be without the background music, especially when the topic is this good. It steals some of my concentration at least. Otherwise great video👍
This is very good discussion but the reason I clicked into the video was to learn about the two styles in comparison, as shown by the title. You didn’t really go into the “vs gentle parenting” part. As far as I am aware, gentle parenting does not negate the importance of boundaries and appropriate consequences…
Some people have a lot of kids to take care of their kids.
Seria tão bom se colocassem a legenda em português
Watching from Botswana 🇧🇼 Thank you for this installment.What’s the name of the book ?
It's in the description box dear
14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family
Thank you 🙏
Most parents don't parent. Most children are a consequence of recreational sex. As many marriages are the same. I wonder why anyone outside the home would know any private personal business of your child. People wonder why there are these problems in the world. Children are human beings not something to do or control or manage. Careful on defining sin or right and wrong. Sometimes it is preferences and your dreams or desires or vision and there is no sin but rather choices. A parent in the Bahamas spending their child support and vacationing while the kids are home alone frustrated and confused and then told to the whole family..."those children are just disobedient" then the correction rod to these children is: "the word"" honor your mother and father" LOL.
Dear Bindi. I'd just like to know your views on autistic people. Are we demon possessed as one man in church told me or just discriminated against in the church. I have endured a life full of punishment and exclusion because of people needing to be "strict". This upbringing caused me severe CPTSD. Yet, I feel I am spiritual, have good discernment, have high morals. Does one have to obey even if parents and other authorities don't understand? These problems have distanced me from the church.🙏💕😢
I just seen this comment and had to answer although I'm not Mrs Bindi. I'd like to shed some light on your situation because your comment honestly broke my heart. In the Bible it states thou shall not judge. Meaning anyone especially members of the church the only one who has the ability to judge us is God himself. being autistic has nothing to do with you as a person. What rounds you as a good idol. In God's eyes is your ability to follow God's path and God's rules if you can maintain good behaviors being kind to people not stealing lying ex ex. You're heading in the right direction. God does not condone a disability as a sin or as being demonically possessed you are God's child. And I'm so sorry if others in your life have made you feel otherwise. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers to heal you from such misunderstanding that they have led you to believe is right.
Hello Bindi I do agree with teaching the law however you mentioned that if a child loses their job or homeless etc it is parents fault and child not obeying the law is not always the case it can be outside our control like mental illness layoffs and someone can still fall despite keeping the law it is not black and white and not realistic to saying that nothing will happen bad if parents teach kids the law.
She didn’t say that.
You can't judge people and say because they ended up being homeless or pregnant outside of marriage is because they disobey the law be careful because God says not to judge without knowing the situation they are in one can still have negative things happen your children could be dissolution and not ready for the real world can still have a marriage fall or spouse cheat or leave despite being a good wife or lose job even though they are working deligently
You are wildly wrong on so many things here, and your confidence towards the subject matter, especially given your large following, is concerning. Flourishing Homes and Families, as well as other Christian parenting creators/authors go into a lot of depth on the things you talk about here, if you're interested in checking them out. But, they aren't necessary to see the flaws in what you're saying or to fact check what you're saying. People don't end up in prison with all the issues you described because "they never learned that their actions have consequences". What an idiotic and distorted view of criminals, most of which have actually been abused and neglected, not deeply loved by their parents. I'm not sure how you were raised or the reasons you view the world the way you do, but there is more to people's poor decision making than how much they were "lovingly" hurt as children like you promote.
Kind words please🙏. You have a point but you could have gone about it more pleasantly.