Being single is wonderful. I have not had a relationship with a man in 8 years. I enjoy being by myself. I don't feel like I have to have a man in my life to be happy.
This is crucial. Even if they're abusive.. taking responsibility and not being a victim is key. Why did I choose this? Why did I stay? What part did I play in the perpetual dysfunction of the union.
"Two whole people make a great relationship, not two half people." Wondering talk, thank you SO much. You're making a positive contribution in the lives of others, please keep it up
I walked into this feeling very insecure about my self-care and self loving relatioship but seriously feel far more comfortable after watching this thank you Ashley I really needed this to start my journey after a extremely toxic BPD abusive relatioship.
You are very welcome December, I AM glad I can help, let me know of anything you'd like me to talk about in an upcoming radio show or video. Thank you for your comment.
Just split up with a Borderline after 6 years. She moved out and although I am glad it's over, It's difficult to find myself because of years of being torn down. I suppose I'll figure it out.
I never lived with the one I was with and after 9 years of BS I've decided to stop the insanity. Last time I saw him he put me down 3x, then beaurated me, followed by question and answer session, ended it by calling me a lier. I did not. I moved a pile of fire wood, he accused me of having a man here, because I couldn't have done that, then he left, I was shook... That's how he always talked to me. I had been sick with pnemonia and he had disappeared, that's what he always did when I got sick, there was 5 weeks of distance. I saw more clearly what he is.... Journal, follow your progress... Good luck...
Congratulations on quitting smoking!!!! I'll be 8 years free in November. Yep, one day at a time. A great ethos to apply just about to so much- like breaking up!
This video was awesome! After weeks of researching trying to figure out Closure with being in a toxic relationship YOU nailed it.. I've been going crazy within myself because she blamed me for the breakup, verbal abuse, and physical abuse WE DID TO EACH OTHER! I ACCEPTED my faults amd wrong doing in it, i also ACCEPTED the breakup already. The closure part was why she moved on within a few weeks already in another relationship and I'm home sick to my stomach! I feel I'm learning abiut myself and growing as a man. I want my next relationship to be my last and understand what I NEED TO CHANGE to love and be loved correctly.. I'm trying so hard to put it all togethore.. Thanks for this great post!
The narcissist I was with is a cheater, it was the 3 days silent treatment he was interviewing my replacement, I caught him in affairs, when I walked away from him it wasn't even a week and he was with the new one, I peaked at his fb page and he had been grooming her for 7 months. Along with other woman. There was no trust left, yet he is still stalking me..... He lets no one go...
A very interesting video. I love the advice you gave and how you focused on self-care as part of the healing process. Thank you for producing such content!
Thank you Ashley, great points. I like your personal observations as well I just broke off a relationship with a sociopath her boyfriend who I knew nothing about Decided to post a picture from Their hotel room and tag her in it. It showed up on my Facebook as well as another picture of her with him in a non flattering pose . It was an extremely painful ending. I have found the hard thing To do when walking away from such a person is to not beat on yourself. It’s so easy to punish yourself by thinking how could I let myself get involved with someone like that Yet they are very charming but at the same time I could sense that something wasn’t right. It’s hard to walk away from someone you loved it’s hard to be in solitude and alone thank you for Sharing your insight
Ok. I just subscribed. Great delivery. Wow. Just divorced a borderline. In an apartment on my own at 57. I have been supporting myself since 17 untill I choose to marry at 21 to a narcissist. Then 4 years on my own a borderline sweeps me off my feet. Ty for helping me on this new chapter. Kinda scary, but I am doing it, with help from great content like you give. Ty again.
Thank you for reaching out and thank you for subscribing Patricia! I am proud of you and your new chapter in life! It's scary but so worth it, let me know how you are doing.
Patricia Maunder wow, mine was 21 to 57 too. He is moving out in 2 days. I am smashed right now but I know there could be so many good things happen if I climb out this. Here’s to a future with out walking in a fog ! Cheers!,
You can't have companionship unless you find self. I'm learning about my self and what is my power. I can't lean into someone to much. Enmeshment. Narcs are a different story and make you face yourself.
As you have discussed before, normal caring but non workable relationships are one thing, but oh the borderline or narcopath is something else. You have gave words of wisdom on those too. Thanks. The personal integrity compromised still lingers yet inching toward a wholeness never quite experienced before. The plus side which takes a lot of work to get to, is an awakening, an awareness that wasn't seen necessary in midst of a long term relationship. If you were happy why comptemplate why you wouldnt be. A whole different set of worries, hopes was what occupied your focus. Now thats loss, the hope is to survive a post narcissistic encounter. Just like a death, the trees, the smells, sounds, light, darkness is all seen differently never to be the same. But I know contentment is possible by being what we desire. Sry, that's a mad ramble, very much appreciate your wise words.
YESS, I was in relationship but it was opposite of what I wanted on the core level. He said he wanted the same things but we clashed on an energetic level, my intuition clashed with his words and we butted heads as I wouldn't simply comply, go along happily but would call him on his inconsistencies, which angered him. We were constantly stepping into the accusatory vs denial ring, yet when one of us was ready to call it quits the other one wasn't. What I came to learn was that he was a super stealth covert who wasn't interested in me personally but liked the IMAGE of the committee relationship, he liked the COVER, relationship camo. By the time I clued in I was already emotionally overly invested, cognitive dissonance and trauma bonded, hard for me to breakfree of in small doses as I would fall back. NC was the best for me, quitting cold turkey. Not EZ but necessary for me to break the addiction. Living in a small town provides few options so it's easier to settle than to uproot and head into the unknown. For me, nothing is ever easy it seems, I have to learn the hard way, lol.
Thanks, well put. Part of this I have realized, that part I view with more confidence. Other parts I am realizing through watching helpful videos like this. One finds through life people who present themselves in a way that is easy to understand, which I believe is unique to oneself, this is why I like this video; that's not to say I don't watch videos that I don't understand as much of, but watching ones that I do understand helps with the understanding of the ones that I don't.
Dating yourself is hard. There's no instruction manual. There were about ten books that put me back together, over time. After I'd read Lundy Bancroft, Meredith Miller, I read A Woman in Your Own Right by Anne Dickson which was very helpful to me, far more helpful than any dating book (and some were v good!). I recognised times when I had said ungracious things to more successful or happier people due to my own feelings of inadequacy. Then I read The Heroine's Journey which was so comforting, to know that life on a path is part of the human condition! I put the phone down for a while and read books about psychology, Jung, Carole S Pearson phd, her books helped me a lot! It's all about mindset but it's not easy. I needed to do the exercises to activate my inner warrior and soothe my inner orphan. I love James Hollis phd as well. His books are great, for men and for women. At the moment, I'm enjoying dabbling in philosophy. Also, The Courage to be Disliked. EXCELLENT Book. REALLY cannot recommend it highly enough. By two Japanese authors but based on Adlerian psychology, it's written in the format of a philosophical dialogue. I loved Alain de Botton's ''The consolations of Philosophy'' - fantastic book. I'm reading Aristotle's way by Edith Wall now. I am just naturally interested in emotionally more healthy people. I went to a few things on my own over the last few years. ''Dating myself''. I wouldn't say I enjoyed them that much as I felt awkward, and the only person there alone, BUT it gave me the sense that I wouldn't lose out on anything important from a lack of bravery. That was valuable to me. PS, edited to say, as single women we're always encouraged to go to places where there's a good chance of meeting men, but I'd done that for years and it only made me unhappy. So I joined a night class to use sewing machine which I'd always wanted to do. I make clay sculptures in my kitchen listening to great podcasts from wiser women and I feel that it's all going to be ok, single or not single.
You have really interesting videos, I can relate to many situations you describe, thanks a lot! :) If possible I would love to hear you talk about relationship dynamics between someone suffering ad(h)d and someone with bpd, I think they otren atract each other... and also you might want to talk about how one being adhd can recover from a relationship with a borderliner? :)
Thank you Wencke, yes I will do videos about this, great idea. I know a lot about ADHD and the draw to BPD and I also know a lot about the challenges of getting over the relationship when dealing with ADHD. I'm writing these down and will do my best to work on those in the next couple of weeks!
You are the best at explaining this stuff you say it so well that we relive it great stuff you should teach some of this at high schools good stuff Ashley
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and-in spite of True Romance magazines-we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely-at least, not all the time-but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” -Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967
Random thing .. but I found it impossible to read a book in peace that Ive been meaning to read for a while .. with a toxic borderline around all the interruptions and give me attention! Amongst million of other shitty behaviours!!! No way can you live in peace with personality disordered men. Leave .....one life live it well. Your Worth it, I know!
I am a Hard.Core Loner. Ohh the 1990's really rocked my boat. Between very long work hours and allowing a.BI POLAR to live with me ( so poor me would have someone to come home too) EREEERRR bad idea. It got me fired twice and damn near cos t me a very good job . Got incarserated twice on DV Charges and all the costly probation and anger management classes...Now im alone..for the sake of CONTROL. I must have in my life.
I know of a man who can attract back your ex within 48 hours hours....He was the one who brought back my ex within 48 hours, ever since I got back with my ex I have been enjoying my reunion with him.
I’m married to a bpd and this is my second marriage- I have an 8 year old daughter and the biggest problem is he keeps comparing himself to her- and expects her to understand that I have remarried- every night specially when he is drinking is a manic night and the stuff I have to hear is vile - I want out but he has financially cut of everything I had going for myself when I met him- and for that reason I don’t leave/ need help
Please get out! This man is trying to sabotage and triangulate your relationships with your daughter. You have to put your daughter first in your life. Not you or your husband. Imagine what your daughter is going through with someone who is unstable and directing his feelings onto your daughter. Get out and put your daughter first. She does not deserve the abuse and neither do you. If you don't make your daughter your top priority and in the end you will be sorry when she refuses to have anything to do with you.
To every problem there is a solution.. I want to recommend you to someone that helped me restore my broken relationship in less than 7 days he's very powerful...
Honestly, my situation with my ex , He was nice and I wasn’t at all attracted to his looks at all. So I thought because he is so nice and such a gentleman, I would give him a chance . Because that’s all I went out with are very attracted men. So I thought , wow! Finally a gentleman! And it led into a committed relationship which turned out to be very subtle abuse, I did things different, I was in therapy already and I knew the signs. I was ready for a loving relationship and I believe I was healthy. I had no idea that it was abusive, until I was worn out. Yes, of course I played a part but I can’t blame myself for any of it , because I spoke up and said what I needed and spoke up with the truth of my feelings. I just believed in time it won’t be so overwhelming. And then cycle’s began breaking up to going back to breaking up again. So I have to say that I knew how to stand up for myself. My ex boyfriend was a doormat and let everyone walk all over him.Time went on and his step father died, unexpectedly, who was his mother’s husband, then his 24 year old nephew died, and because he can’t stand up for himself, he took on all the funeral arrangements and go to the scene to identify the body of each of them. Within 2 weeks he pulled away, and I was supporting him through all of his grieving. But THEN HIS SICK ADDICTED MOTHER TOOK OVER , MOVED IN WITH HER TO BE BASICALLY MARRIED TO HER AND I WAS THROWN AWAY LIKE TRASH, THE OTHER WOMAN WAS HIS MOTHER. HE IS 59 yrs old and bowed down to a 90 pound waif. Yet every night complain how abusive she was to him. Well after 4 years and about 4months , I ended it because he couldn’t make me equal to his mother or family, so I said it’s time for you to go..I had to block him so I wouldn’t get sucked back in. I still love him deeply but the devaluing and neglect made me sick. All the intimacy was gone since that two year mark so our relationship was basically friends but he led me on to believe we were going to make this work. So is this my fault ? Absolutely not.!
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
my recent ex started dating someone less than 2 weeks after we ended our relationship. We dated for over 2 years and for both of us was our first love / serious relationship. I don't have the emotional capacity to even attempt to date another person right now and she had even told me 2 months after we broke up and they were dating that it felt to soon and she wishes he was me sometimes and I told her to take time for herself maybe but fast forward almost 5 months now and she is still dating this guy. I'm hoping she's happy but deep down I know she is running away from herself and her true feelings and not dealing with her true emotions and heartbreak and that breaks my heart because there's nothing I can do to help her at this point and her happiness is not my responsibility. Trust this video you guys take the time for yourself. It's not fair to you or to the other person to rush right in to a relationship when you are all messed up from your last. It gets easier and at the end of the day the only person that can always show up for you is yourself.
I was mentally and emotionally abused by my father when I was a little kid up until the age I am which is 62 he died 2 months ago.What is now happening in my life and I've had since a little kid is low self esteem no confidence abandonment issues,deep depression,anxiety disorders,I hate myself and I'm full of fear and don't enjoy or get any pleasure with my life and have no motivation or desire to do anything.Ive had one failed relationship after another and gave no friends and I'm extremely lonely and I isolate and only go out to get a few things at the grocery store or go to appointments which I try to avoid making them cuz it takes everything I've got to go to them.I am in a relationship with a negative mean mentally and emotionally abusive woman who puts me down and doesn't validate anything I say or feel.She also has no empathy or compassion or respect for me.Everytime I want to tell her how I feel or I try to tell her how bad she's treating me or does things that hurt me she get angry defensive insulting and shuts me down.However cuz of my abandonment issues and my codependency issues I can't bring myself to walk away cuz it scares me that I will blame myself beat myself up and be alone without anybody or gf to make me feel a little whole.Because of my childhood abuse I'm insecure clingy and needy.All the things that a woman hates.I can't date myself and develop love for myself cuz at 62 yrs old I can't change my way of thinking now.I have a bad liver bad kidneys weak heart chronic back pain with severe arthritis in it and my ankle that was a compound fracture.Im overweight have shortness of breath and am going bald.I have nothing to live for but I don't want to die which I think isn't to far away.So tell me how can I accomplish any of the things said in this video I've been to psychologists psychiatrists counselors drug and alcohol treatment centers.and I just had my appendix rupture and went to the emergency where I waited 10 hours to see a doctor and then rushed to the operating room the next day I got an infection and because of the operation my bowels shut down and my stomach filled up with fluid till it was rock hard and bloated.I waited 5 hours in the emergency again and had to get tube stuck up my nose and down my throat for five days.So how can I find the strength and positivity to get over a break up.Can anyone tell me.Ive prayed and asked God,went to church and studied the Bible all in an attempt to get God to help me.I take drugs everyday to numb the pain and try to cope with my life I've done everything available to change my life and find a good relationship and nothing has worked.Please somebody help!
How do you handle a break up when everything was absolutely great, myself and my little lady were not looking for a relationship in the beginning we just hit it off going out once as friends as we both went to watch a film at the cinema then we hit it off... 7 months later she ended it when they had to deal with a not well elderly parent through coronavirus but never had the virus ?????
Hello lovely, Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
You are soooo right... I date myself every night . Just about ready to marry myself...lol ... In No hurry for anyone....super like myself, don't go to someone for money... make your own money...I'm completely happy, find out who YOU are...❤👑❤ ..
Hi I was alone for 3 years and I was at a good place at such peace. Met a guy and dated him for 3 months I seen all the red flags but chose to get involved with him anyway. Now he stopped talking to me or texting me. So what do I do about it?
This is over a friend ship break up over a 30+ year friendship.this person was basically family to me and gave me the silent treatment very suddenly, I see it's my fault but I m still after almost a year how to deal with this
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Being single is wonderful. I have not had a relationship with a man in 8 years. I enjoy being by myself. I don't feel like I have to have a man in my life to be happy.
And I feel the same. I don't need her anymore. Others have said; hey, you look so calm and happy. (Yes it shows and i didn't realize it). :)
Truly- even in the face of loneliness- You have to be your own best friend.
This is crucial. Even if they're abusive.. taking responsibility and not being a victim is key. Why did I choose this? Why did I stay? What part did I play in the perpetual dysfunction of the union.
I think the most valuable thing we can learn as women is that we don't need to be attached to a man to be significant or validated
"Two whole people make a great relationship, not two half people." Wondering talk, thank you SO much. You're making a positive contribution in the lives of others, please keep it up
I walked into this feeling very insecure about my self-care and self loving relatioship but seriously feel far more comfortable after watching this thank you Ashley I really needed this to start my journey after a extremely toxic BPD abusive relatioship.
You are very welcome December, I AM glad I can help, let me know of anything you'd like me to talk about in an upcoming radio show or video. Thank you for your comment.
Loved this video. Now I'm going to "date" myself. I'm finding out I'm pretty good company. If only I could just quit " settling".
Just split up with a Borderline after 6 years. She moved out and although I am glad it's over, It's difficult to find myself because of years of being torn down. I suppose I'll figure it out.
How are you doing now?
Darrell Bush you deserve a medal 🎖well done .. be happy for U now.
Same situation for me now aswell. 2 years almost
You can’t allow others judgements over you. That’s domination. Don’t be dominated. People operate on mechanisms. This video is good
I never lived with the one I was with and after 9 years of BS I've decided to stop the insanity. Last time I saw him he put me down 3x, then beaurated me, followed by question and answer session, ended it by calling me a lier. I did not. I moved a pile of fire wood, he accused me of having a man here, because I couldn't have done that, then he left, I was shook... That's how he always talked to me. I had been sick with pnemonia and he had disappeared, that's what he always did when I got sick, there was 5 weeks of distance. I saw more clearly what he is.... Journal, follow your progress... Good luck...
Congratulations on quitting smoking!!!!
I'll be 8 years free in November. Yep, one day at a time. A great ethos to apply just about to so much- like breaking up!
This video was awesome! After weeks of researching trying to figure out Closure with being in a toxic relationship YOU nailed it.. I've been going crazy within myself because she blamed me for the breakup, verbal abuse, and physical abuse WE DID TO EACH OTHER! I ACCEPTED my faults amd wrong doing in it, i also ACCEPTED the breakup already. The closure part was why she moved on within a few weeks already in another relationship and I'm home sick to my stomach! I feel I'm learning abiut myself and growing as a man. I want my next relationship to be my last and understand what I NEED TO CHANGE to love and be loved correctly.. I'm trying so hard to put it all togethore..
Thanks for this great post!
The narcissist I was with is a cheater, it was the 3 days silent treatment he was interviewing my replacement, I caught him in affairs, when I walked away from him it wasn't even a week and he was with the new one, I peaked at his fb page and he had been grooming her for 7 months. Along with other woman. There was no trust left, yet he is still stalking me..... He lets no one go...
A very interesting video. I love the advice you gave and how you focused on self-care as part of the healing process. Thank you for producing such content!
Thank you Ashley, great points. I like your personal observations as well I just broke off a relationship with a sociopath her boyfriend who I knew nothing about Decided to post a picture from Their hotel room and tag her in it. It showed up on my Facebook as well as another picture of her with him in a non flattering pose . It was an extremely painful ending. I have found the hard thing To do when walking away from such a person is to not beat on yourself. It’s so easy to punish yourself by thinking how could I let myself get involved with someone like that Yet they are very charming but at the same time I could sense that something wasn’t right. It’s hard to walk away from someone you loved it’s hard to be in solitude and alone thank you for Sharing your insight
Ok. I just subscribed. Great delivery. Wow. Just divorced a borderline. In an apartment on my own at 57. I have been supporting myself since 17 untill I choose to marry at 21 to a narcissist. Then 4 years on my own a borderline sweeps me off my feet. Ty for helping me on this new chapter. Kinda scary, but I am doing it, with help from great content like you give. Ty again.
Thank you for reaching out and thank you for subscribing Patricia! I am proud of you and your new chapter in life! It's scary but so worth it, let me know how you are doing.
Patricia Maunder wow, mine was 21 to 57 too. He is moving out in 2 days. I am smashed right now but I know there could be so many good things happen if I climb out this. Here’s to a future with out walking in a fog ! Cheers!,
You can't have companionship unless you find self. I'm learning about my self and what is my power. I can't lean into someone to much. Enmeshment. Narcs are a different story and make you face yourself.
As you have discussed before, normal caring but non workable relationships are one thing, but oh the borderline or narcopath is something else. You have gave words of wisdom on those too. Thanks. The personal integrity compromised still lingers yet inching toward a wholeness never quite experienced before. The plus side which takes a lot of work to get to, is an awakening, an awareness that wasn't seen necessary in midst of a long term relationship. If you were happy why comptemplate why you wouldnt be. A whole different set of worries, hopes was what occupied your focus. Now thats loss, the hope is to survive a post narcissistic encounter. Just like a death, the trees, the smells, sounds, light, darkness is all seen differently never to be the same. But I know contentment is possible by being what we desire.
Sry, that's a mad ramble, very much appreciate your wise words.
Thank you Brad, eloquently stated and so true. I appreciate your wise words!
YESS,
I was in relationship but it was opposite of what I wanted on the core level. He said he wanted the same things but we clashed on an energetic level, my intuition clashed with his words and we butted heads as I wouldn't simply comply, go along happily but would call him on his inconsistencies, which angered him. We were constantly stepping into the accusatory vs denial ring, yet when one of us was ready to call it quits the other one wasn't. What I came to learn was that he was a super stealth covert who wasn't interested in me personally but liked the IMAGE of the committee relationship, he liked the COVER, relationship camo. By the time I clued in I was already emotionally overly invested, cognitive dissonance and trauma bonded, hard for me to breakfree of in small doses as I would fall back. NC was the best for me, quitting cold turkey. Not EZ but necessary for me to break the addiction. Living in a small town provides few options so it's easier to settle than to uproot and head into the unknown. For me, nothing is ever easy it seems, I have to learn the hard way, lol.
Thanks, well put. Part of this I have realized, that part I view with more confidence. Other parts I am realizing through watching helpful videos like this. One finds through life people who present themselves in a way that is easy to understand, which I believe is unique to oneself, this is why I like this video; that's not to say I don't watch videos that I don't understand as much of, but watching ones that I do understand helps with the understanding of the ones that I don't.
Dating yourself is hard. There's no instruction manual. There were about ten books that put me back together, over time. After I'd read Lundy Bancroft, Meredith Miller, I read A Woman in Your Own Right by Anne Dickson which was very helpful to me, far more helpful than any dating book (and some were v good!). I recognised times when I had said ungracious things to more successful or happier people due to my own feelings of inadequacy. Then I read The Heroine's Journey which was so comforting, to know that life on a path is part of the human condition! I put the phone down for a while and read books about psychology, Jung, Carole S Pearson phd, her books helped me a lot! It's all about mindset but it's not easy. I needed to do the exercises to activate my inner warrior and soothe my inner orphan. I love James Hollis phd as well. His books are great, for men and for women. At the moment, I'm enjoying dabbling in philosophy. Also, The Courage to be Disliked. EXCELLENT Book. REALLY cannot recommend it highly enough. By two Japanese authors but based on Adlerian psychology, it's written in the format of a philosophical dialogue. I loved Alain de Botton's ''The consolations of Philosophy'' - fantastic book. I'm reading Aristotle's way by Edith Wall now. I am just naturally interested in emotionally more healthy people. I went to a few things on my own over the last few years. ''Dating myself''. I wouldn't say I enjoyed them that much as I felt awkward, and the only person there alone, BUT it gave me the sense that I wouldn't lose out on anything important from a lack of bravery. That was valuable to me. PS, edited to say, as single women we're always encouraged to go to places where there's a good chance of meeting men, but I'd done that for years and it only made me unhappy. So I joined a night class to use sewing machine which I'd always wanted to do. I make clay sculptures in my kitchen listening to great podcasts from wiser women and I feel that it's all going to be ok, single or not single.
Great, straight talking powerful advice.
You have really interesting videos, I can relate to many situations you describe, thanks a lot! :) If possible I would love to hear you talk about relationship dynamics between someone suffering ad(h)d and someone with bpd, I think they otren atract each other... and also you might want to talk about how one being adhd can recover from a relationship with a borderliner? :)
Thank you Wencke, yes I will do videos about this, great idea. I know a lot about ADHD and the draw to BPD and I also know a lot about the challenges of getting over the relationship when dealing with ADHD. I'm writing these down and will do my best to work on those in the next couple of weeks!
You are the best at explaining this stuff you say it so well that we relive it great stuff you should teach some of this at high schools good stuff Ashley
This is so helpful! Thank you! I’m excited to spend time with myself.
Thank you for reaching out Liz. Getting to know ourselves/spending mindful time is the most rewarding thing we can do!
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and-in spite of True Romance magazines-we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely-at least, not all the time-but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
-Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967
Random thing .. but I found it impossible to read a book in peace that Ive been meaning to read for a while .. with a toxic borderline around all the interruptions and give me attention! Amongst million of other shitty behaviours!!! No way can you live in peace with personality disordered men. Leave .....one life live it well. Your Worth it, I know!
Wow am subscribed !!! this is great stuff ! Thanks Ashley
I am a Hard.Core Loner. Ohh the 1990's really rocked my boat. Between very long work hours and allowing a.BI POLAR to live with me ( so poor me would have someone to come home too) EREEERRR bad idea. It got me fired twice and damn near cos t me a very good job . Got incarserated twice on DV Charges and all the costly probation and anger management classes...Now im alone..for the sake of CONTROL. I must have in my life.
Amazing thoughtful content- Thank you!
Glad it was helpful, how are you doing Nathan!
@@LifecoachAshleyBerges doing much much better and clearer, since I found your stuff :). Finally, an approach to heal and grow from relationships.
Ashley dear your voice is so attractive .
@Reginald Dove she smoked that makes it raspy
Ah that is so good to hear. All well put and that's exactly what I'm doing at the moment. Thanks👍
I know of a man who can attract back your ex within 48 hours hours....He was the one who brought back my ex within 48 hours, ever since I got back with my ex I have been enjoying my reunion with him.
+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
What sApp him
This is GOLD!
Thank you Mark. You're golden!
This was the best advise thank you !!!!
I’m married to a bpd and this is my second marriage- I have an 8 year old daughter and the biggest problem is he keeps comparing himself to her- and expects her to understand that I have remarried- every night specially when he is drinking is a manic night and the stuff I have to hear is vile - I want out but he has financially cut of everything I had going for myself when I met him- and for that reason I don’t leave/ need help
Amna Kardar leave bpd ‘s are dangerous ppl it will only get worse im surprised hes not cheating !
Please get out! This man is trying to sabotage and triangulate your relationships with your daughter. You have to put your daughter first in your life. Not you or your husband. Imagine what your daughter is going through with someone who is unstable and directing his feelings onto your daughter. Get out and put your daughter first. She does not deserve the abuse and neither do you. If you don't make your daughter your top priority and in the end you will be sorry when she refuses to have anything to do with you.
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Love this girl! Lol.
Honestly, my situation with my ex , He was nice and I wasn’t at all attracted to his looks at all. So I thought because he is so nice and such a gentleman, I would give him a chance . Because that’s all I went out with are very attracted men. So I thought , wow! Finally a gentleman! And it led into a committed relationship which turned out to be very subtle abuse, I did things different, I was in therapy already and I knew the signs. I was ready for a loving relationship and I believe I was healthy. I had no idea that it was abusive, until I was worn out. Yes, of course I played a part but I can’t blame myself for any of it , because I spoke up and said what I needed and spoke up with the truth of my feelings. I just believed in time it won’t be so overwhelming.
And then cycle’s began breaking up to going back to breaking up again.
So I have to say that I knew how to stand up for myself. My ex boyfriend was a doormat and let everyone walk all over him.Time went on and his step father died, unexpectedly, who was his mother’s husband, then his 24 year old nephew died, and because he can’t stand up for himself, he took on all the funeral arrangements and go to the scene to identify the body of each of them. Within 2 weeks he pulled away, and I was supporting him through all of his grieving. But THEN HIS SICK ADDICTED MOTHER TOOK OVER , MOVED IN WITH HER TO BE BASICALLY MARRIED TO HER AND I WAS THROWN AWAY LIKE TRASH, THE OTHER WOMAN WAS HIS MOTHER. HE IS 59 yrs old and bowed down to a 90 pound waif. Yet every night complain how abusive she was to him. Well after 4 years and about 4months , I ended it because he couldn’t make me equal to his mother or family, so I said it’s time for you to go..I had to block him so I wouldn’t get sucked back in. I still love him deeply but the devaluing and neglect made me sick. All the intimacy was gone since that two year mark so our relationship was basically friends but he led me on to believe we were going to make this work.
So is this my fault ? Absolutely not.!
Thank you so much I really enjoy your content
Thank u for uploading this
I'm so glad I'm hearing her
This resonates 1000%
Wish i talked to you 10 years ago
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
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my recent ex started dating someone less than 2 weeks after we ended our relationship. We dated for over 2 years and for both of us was our first love / serious relationship. I don't have the emotional capacity to even attempt to date another person right now and she had even told me 2 months after we broke up and they were dating that it felt to soon and she wishes he was me sometimes and I told her to take time for herself maybe but fast forward almost 5 months now and she is still dating this guy. I'm hoping she's happy but deep down I know she is running away from herself and her true feelings and not dealing with her true emotions and heartbreak and that breaks my heart because there's nothing I can do to help her at this point and her happiness is not my responsibility. Trust this video you guys take the time for yourself. It's not fair to you or to the other person to rush right in to a relationship when you are all messed up from your last. It gets easier and at the end of the day the only person that can always show up for you is yourself.
Love this video but I think it should be titled: "What to do (and not to do) after a breakup."
I was mentally and emotionally abused by my father when I was a little kid up until the age I am which is 62 he died 2 months ago.What is now happening in my life and I've had since a little kid is low self esteem no confidence abandonment issues,deep depression,anxiety disorders,I hate myself and I'm full of fear and don't enjoy or get any pleasure with my life and have no motivation or desire to do anything.Ive had one failed relationship after another and gave no friends and I'm extremely lonely and I isolate and only go out to get a few things at the grocery store or go to appointments which I try to avoid making them cuz it takes everything I've got to go to them.I am in a relationship with a negative mean mentally and emotionally abusive woman who puts me down and doesn't validate anything I say or feel.She also has no empathy or compassion or respect for me.Everytime I want to tell her how I feel or I try to tell her how bad she's treating me or does things that hurt me she get angry defensive insulting and shuts me down.However cuz of my abandonment issues and my codependency issues I can't bring myself to walk away cuz it scares me that I will blame myself beat myself up and be alone without anybody or gf to make me feel a little whole.Because of my childhood abuse I'm insecure clingy and needy.All the things that a woman hates.I can't date myself and develop love for myself cuz at 62 yrs old I can't change my way of thinking now.I have a bad liver bad kidneys weak heart chronic back pain with severe arthritis in it and my ankle that was a compound fracture.Im overweight have shortness of breath and am going bald.I have nothing to live for but I don't want to die which I think isn't to far away.So tell me how can I accomplish any of the things said in this video I've been to psychologists psychiatrists counselors drug and alcohol treatment centers.and I just had my appendix rupture and went to the emergency where I waited 10 hours to see a doctor and then rushed to the operating room the next day I got an infection and because of the operation my bowels shut down and my stomach filled up with fluid till it was rock hard and bloated.I waited 5 hours in the emergency again and had to get tube stuck up my nose and down my throat for five days.So how can I find the strength and positivity to get over a break up.Can anyone tell me.Ive prayed and asked God,went to church and studied the Bible all in an attempt to get God to help me.I take drugs everyday to numb the pain and try to cope with my life I've done everything available to change my life and find a good relationship and nothing has worked.Please somebody help!
How do you handle a break up when everything was absolutely great, myself and my little lady were not looking for a relationship in the beginning we just hit it off going out once as friends as we both went to watch a film at the cinema then we hit it off... 7 months later she ended it when they had to deal with a not well elderly parent through coronavirus but never had the virus ?????
"I know what I was feeling....but what was I thinking."
Your videos are eye opening
Thank you for being here
"Two whole people make a great relationship and not two half people"
I wish I found your channel a year ago... :( I’m learning now though.... The hard way... Thanks for your insights
Hello lovely, Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Send him a text message on Whatsapp 💓
+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
You are soooo right... I date myself every night
. Just about ready to marry myself...lol
... In No hurry for anyone....super like myself, don't go to someone for money... make your own money...I'm completely happy, find out who YOU are...❤👑❤
..
Amen!
Thank you John!
Thank you John!
Is there anyway that u do Skype calls since I’m in Pakistan and not a lot of info on bpd
Hi I was alone for 3 years and I was at a good place at such peace. Met a guy and dated him for 3 months I seen all the red flags but chose to get involved with him anyway. Now he stopped talking to me or texting me. So what do I do about it?
This is over a friend ship break up over a 30+ year friendship.this person was basically family to me and gave me the silent treatment very suddenly, I see it's my fault but I m still after almost a year how to deal with this
Hey bro. How you feeling now?
👍
horrit