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"Should we treat children with autism with therapy, or celebrate them for who they are?" -- A bit of a loaded question. How about giving them the help and tools they need to cope with an environment full of people who don't think or perceive things they way they do, without treating them as though they have a disease?
I mean, we should "celebrate"/appropriately treat autistic people for who they are, but we also need to be taught how to properly socially interact, so yeah, I'd agree. Edited for clarity
It's sad how often people with autism are misunderstood or misjudged. I remember back when I was 8 years old; my teacher told me that I was too dumb to ever go to a ‘normal’ school. The same teacher also took away my encyclopedia, saying that it was ‘too difficult’ for me and never gave it back. I have an above-average IQ... Having autism does NOT mean you're dumb!
I feel ya, years ago when I was in school, my teachers had me placed with "special ED" believing it's the best group for me. Yet, the teachers would always exaggerate about some things like "how I was fragile, so I can't go to PE" or "I can't go to spanish class because my mind can't handle it". I didn't like how they would never give me a chance to attend some classes and learn about the subjects and they would use my autism as a excuse that I cannot. Though the only good side of "Special ED" was that it taught me empathy for those students.
there was a student i went to school with from grades 4-12. he wore all the same colored clothing, didn't speak, never looked at anyone, but he was in the advanced classes like i was so i figured he was smart enough but didn't know what was wrong with him until recently. i got a peek into his intelligence in a creative writing summer class. he was a musical genius who could rewrite music in whole different ways. funny thing, when the teacher showed his work all our heads swiveled towards him in surprise. as he never spoke none of us could get to know him. it was in the 1960s.
I can relate with the special Ed thing. Being in special Ed caused me so much stress that I wanted to drop out of school. I was an A student, but my teachers continued to tell my parents I wasn't making enough progress, or really any at all in their minds. They said going into highschool they would put me in some of the higher classes. They didn't, and my parents were pissed. (I was like in 2 year classes, as a high honors student) So my parents changed my classes. Their last conversation was with probably my least favorite teacher ever. She said I had a 7th grade reading level, in 7th grade I got a certificate saying I had an 11th grade reading level back then. I left the special Ed program that year, and I don't think I ever panicked again at school. I still kinda want to punch that b*tch in the face.
I know the feeling. While never diagnosed my mom who’s a special education teacher always thought I was on the spectrum somewhere and as a kid I was terrified of a diagnosis. It wasn’t that I was prejudiced against the people in the special needs program but I knew the social implications of the association. I was already being bullied at the time and suddenly being part of the program would have made people see me as unintelligent and an easier target. While I can’t disagree with me being an easy target at the time I am not unintelligent but it’s only because of my friend group that I can even start saying that about myself now. My friend who is diagnosed high functioning autistic said it this way “Ethan, I though I was high functioning but you are the highest functioning” If you want IQ test stats I can give them but I really don’t want to appear like I’m gloating.
@@armadilloalien854 Yeah, I can relate. I was placed in a special class too. All I ever got were 8, 9, and 10s; I didn't even study at the time because it was so easy. But the school refused to let me study in a higher class for reasons that varied every time we asked. Eventually, I changed to a different school.
My mother told me that I was hyper focused on things ever since I was aware of my soroundings. In my early childhood I wasn't interested in people so much so that i didn't remember the names of most of my classmates. I didn't even know how to tie my shoues till i was 10. I turned out ok but I still don't understand flirting.
Flirting... is a complicated way of saying "i can't be that honest from first second.. regarding of what i want from you during our relationship, so i'm just gone pull this playing around thru all this painfully game thing called flirting". So... you don't need to fill up ur mind with "normal people" basic sh*t. I called this (flirting..lol) "the game of cowards". You lose nothing but time and energy with it.
I am a high functioning autistic teenager and autism is one of my special interests, I research it for hours at a time, I think that autistic people should be taught how to understand allistic people but not be changed in such a way where they hide their true selves.
@@Sdoddi I had no trouble with language and I was able to speak a bit before I was supposed to, I don’t like talking when I’m overstimulated or when it isn’t necessary
It's so interesting bc a lot of the "stereotypical" signs of Autism are displayed here, but individuals with Autism are soo different! For example, my brother has Autism and he is unable to talk, but he is the most affectionate, kind, funny, outstandingly intelligent individual who loves to be around others and go to family parties - so everyone is very different!
I myself am a mix of high functioning and middle of the spectrum i can be very intelligent but don’t use it for much never straying much from what I know however i am actually skilled at games like destiny 2 cause when it’s something I enjoy and it presents a challenge i an easily able to come up with strategies on the fly and easily adapt to patterns in destiny 2 bosses or encounters but i have a bad speech problem and tend to stutter and get caught up on my words
I am a 20 year old female recently diagnosed with autism (high functioning Asperger's, so as a girl especially, it went unnoticed - only the effects were clear - I'm easily stressed, have social anxiety and experienced repeated bouts of depression/ suicidal thoughts throughout my teenage years). I think what we really need is therapy, to help us cope. Especially people diagnosed as adults would benefit from this, because we lived our whole lives with certain perceptions of ourselves as a result of not realising we have neurodiverse brains. I'm currently at a top university studying a STEM subject, which took no small amount of effort and self-imposed social isolation to achieve. It's difficult to feel like all I can be proud of is my achievements, because I'm a social car crash...
same story as you,it feels like one smashed up life.If a special needs or autistic male had issues they were sheltered ,supported and protected sometimes I´ve been treated like crap because I was also autistic but I was treated as a difficult child ,manipulative and even the R-word,I was screamed at had my arm squeezed and grabbed hard,i´ve had physical punishments been called everything under the sun ,told that I wasn´t making an efford mocked by adults and kids alike,excluded and always told that it was my own fault...because I´m female,i had so many really bad meltdown when i was at nursery that some parents stormed in and demanded that the r-word child was removed because they don´t belong with normal kids like their son.i keep having painful flashbacks that trigger meltdown and shutdowns,i forced myself to eat today as i know that i might not be able to if i get any worse..i also got my diagnosis early this year,and it is a relief to have something make sense and be validated-now i´m a dysfunctional adult with no way of living like an independant adult,and there is no support,i have no choices in life,can´t have a job,education,social life...nothing...i keep facing homelessness and hunger situations because i just don´t have the abilities and skills,i´ve had a lot of birthdays and my intelligence on paper looks fancy ,but irl i´m still just a vulnerable child.
You can’t make an autistic person BE neurotypical with therapy…you can only make them LOOK neurotypical, which is called masking…which is mentally EXHAUSTING. It’s also not a matter of celebrating our differences…just accept them. In fact, we could just accept that even neurotypical people have differences too while we’re at it and just not expect everyone has a neat little spot where they’ll fit into the corporate grinder to be used and abused. People are not commodities, we are individuals, and we should be appreciated as such.
As an autistic person, I’d say both for sure. Overcoming social situations has been tough but I’m far better and more comfortable than I have been in years. Teaching them social cues and maintaining their way of thinking is crucial. Do this without treating them as an idiot please
Once I was diagnosed with Asbergers, I finally became aware of how little emotion I can express or even feel. In part it’s because I just became indifferent to bullying as a kid since it was better than blowing up, but I don’t even cry at funerals for people my family was close to. And it’s funny how I feel more of an emotional connection with fictional characters than actual people. I see every character on the screen or page regardless of their role as an actual person in a different reality so I can empathize with them even deeper, but it’s so weird how I can cry over the death of a drawing but have trouble knowing how to properly express my sympathy in the real world.
I have a husband and son with Aspergers, and another son with Autism (high functioning). The first two frequently butt heads, while the third is trying to keep things quiet. It's an interesting life. Most of the time, it is great. I also have 2 girls, the youngest one with Downs. The other annoys Aspergers brother with her singing. It isn't that she has a bad voice. She is a wonderful singer, but her brother doesn't like a lot of singing. My family don't understand my husband(with the exception of my mother) but I love my growing imperfect family.
I am autistic. I don't express emotion readily, but this is because I often get overwhelmed by my empathy for anyone who is upset or suffering. I haven't cried at funerals of loved ones, because they are just public rituals that have no real connection to my relationship with the deceased person. I cry in private.
some experiences don't translate well. i get that. just because you do one thing in one situation doesn't mean you know how to apply it in another. context is. honestly paramount in such situations. but honestly shit about to get real soon, you best figure out how these neurotypicals operate cause you're stuck with them unfortunately.
Im glad to know im not alone with this. I can even develop emotional crushes or flat out fall in love with chars in a tv show movie vidio game ect but not be attracted at all to a physical person….
@@conorandethan I know people that have gone down bad roads because of bad advice. Therapists are humans and really people should prize being autonomous individuals more.
@@MicahMicahel yes being humans there is the risk of human error, as with any medical intervention. The goal of therapy isn't to be dependent but to become more confident being autonomous, overcome personal challenge and express thoughts and emotions you couldn't otherwise talk about with your regular people around you. Therapy can take different forms but the goal is always to help you be able to help yourself. Take it from someone with a degree in clinical psychology.
@@MicahMicahel i've been misdiagnosed for 25 years, now finally they re-tested me, and the results are just what I've been saying to the professionals for years. My life could have been so much better if the 'professionals' where willing to see beyond their blocked off treatment section (in my case they told me I have ADHD for ~25 years). My life is wasted at this point.
I'm autistic. Yup, going to an event where there were a lot of people talking at one time was torture! Even with my noise reducing headphones I could still hear them shouting.
I remember when I was around 9 to 10 that I went to a big event, and I think that the noise just began to overwhelm me. I just zipped my coat over my head and retreated there to play my DS, if only to distract me. Admittedly, I wasn't in the best of moods that day, but the noise just added to it. I'm not as sensitive to noise now, but that might just be because I don't have to deal with large groups or parties as often as I used to.
As one with aspergers, I avoid going to any large catherings of people. The one time I went to a disco, it caused me a massive migraine to the point of basically having a hangover without alcohol. Plus any event that has a dressing code is something I don't wanna be in at all.
My son has autism. Hyper imbalanced atypical traits across the spectrum. We weren't allowed sleep the 1st 4 years. He was years late with speech. We had to guess then respect every single pattern he created for himself to cope with everything. We've had tons of help that didn't help. Some even said things like "well, I guess you guys'll have to suffer and hope it'll get better". So eventually my wife gave up trying conventional help and let me do my thing, when previously I wasn't allowed and this dualism in how we saw we needed to approach the problem, caused a near break between us, so I relented until this moment where she gave up. What I ended up doing with my son is via meditative listening in the forest near our home, make him stop hearing everything individually but since he couldn't filter out any, make him "see" it as a classical concert (and later jazz as he grew up). Once this mechanism was automated within ... We've been blessed with a good sleeper, a superb learner and a sweet kid able to cope with the world almost as if he was typical. He's still quirky and can make my blood boil but ... that's (as he says it) all part of the concert.
@@sprouts wasn't sure if I should share it, as this is internet after all haha. But if this helps even a single parent, sibling or friend of someone with autism... it's worth it.
I grew up during a time before autism was properly diagnosed, so because i was a quiet lone child at school teachers and my mother would force me to hang around with other children in an attempt to make friends, i hated every minute of it but i did learn to fit in, i might not properly understand every social situation but i can pass by without being recognizably different. Basically what I'm saying is be patient with the autistic but don't walk on egg shells around us, we know when we're being patronized
Some of my favorite moments has been with others forced to adopt this mentality. Sharing a second that lasts an eternity just to express without words, "I see you for who you are and love you all the more for it". Interactions utterly unique for the world around it.
truth. With me (I'm 30) nobody ever said anything, except for relatively recently where a job advisor with ASD suspected me to have it. I just know I was "different". But I always saw autism as this thing either geniuses or extremely limited people had and I am neither. So it didn't really cross my mind.
You hated it, but it worked. Man that's half my childhood, lol. I hated chopping wood for charcoal, but by the time I was in high school my arms were tree trunks. The girls like that :)
I have two autistic siblings and was very surprised when a lot of their behavior and their way of thinking was showcased here. Really helped me understand them better.
it helped me understand myself better, i never looked into it and my family never talked about it with me, it’s crazy that some of these things were spot on with how i have felt and currently feel, i’m the only one out of my family that doesn’t like the beach because of the salt water and feeling of the sand 😂
If you would like to learn more from an autistic adult with two autistic siblings of my own, please let me know! I really enjoy getting to share my experiences, especially if it helps other people. So please feel free to ask me questions! (Same goes for anyone else who sees this and wants to ask things. Reply here or message me!)
We should do both, treat and accept. The autistic mind (itself very diverse) has a great deal to contribute to the world. But at the same time, the reality is to contribute, not to mention be happy, most will need some training and special support. I am on the spectrum mildly enough that I wasn't diagnosed until my 50s. In my childhood there just wasn't any recognition of mild forms. I had a lot of therapy over a lifetime that was aimed at the wrong problem.
I definitely agree. I think therapy to help, particularly children, understand why emotional cues are important and how to recognize/give them will be helpful, particularly if it is only offered as a tool for them to use and not as a thing they have to do. Just like we help people with dyslexia navigate a very text and number heavy world, I think helping people with autism have tools that they might have a really hard time developing on their own is just as good as raising awareness in other people about autism.
@@Meleeman011 treat to find peace of mind for ourselves (I'm autistic), to not be overloaded all the time. It's not about treating yourself for others. It's treating yourself for yourself. I don't care about fitting in and I don't want that - if something that I got as I got older (34 now) is that I'm more and more "me" than ever, without worrying about the neurotypical society. But, I have to do therapy, to help me deal with neurotypical annoyances, for example, forced pointless meetings, call center calls, how to avoid/skip chit chat, etc.
@@Meleeman011 Treat us so that we may not feel as exhausted. Treat us so we can sleep. Treat us so we can avoid side issues like anxiety and depression. Treat us so we can finish school. Treat us so we can work. Treat us so we don't feel like aliens. You say "treat them," so I don't know if you have Autism or not, but a lot of struggle with mental exhaustion and a whole range of problems. I wish I would have been diagnosed with Asperger's as a girl, and that I had gotten treatment. Not to help me fit in, because I fit in just fine, but to help me understand the world, myself and teach me how to discover and solve my mental barriers. My parents would have gotten professional guidance in how to help their little kid handle the world. Like telling them about food taste problems, sensitivity to sounds and smell, and even tricks like turning the pajamas seams outwards so I could sleep better. Teaching them to keep an eye out for obsessive behavior like hand washing so I could avoid skin problems. Maybe I wouldn't have developed anxiety and depression. Who knows? But it would have made my life and the life of my family a whole lot easier.
treat????? are you serious? it has genetic roots and is a difference, not a disease. Woud you treat black people for being black or homosexual for being as they are?
I never thought we would bring a child into the world with challenges we did not understand until her 20s. It is heart breaking to think we could have supported her if this was talked about and understood better. My wife suffers from depression and anxiety, my oldest daughter with anxiety and BPD, but autism, in our youngest's case, is more subtle and we never knew how it was affecting her - her challenges remain huge and something we work to support her with - more information, support and resources are critical. Thank you for your work
@@ultrazappergaming5222 It's not a disease, but for many of us it's a disability. Don't minimize the problem so many of us suffer from. I say that as someone with Autism who dropped out of mandatory school and has never been able to work a day in my 38 years on this planet. It's not a disease, but it is a condition that has caused me an eating disorder, severe anxiety, sleep disorder, and chronic depression. I've been closed to ending my life several times these last 20+ years. This man says that his adult daughter's challenges are huge and that her family accepts her for who she is and are trying to support her, and he got two negative replies that generalize her problems and insinuate that he's treating her poorly. You're not helping, you're hurting.
@@JWildberry brother nvr said that he's treating her poorly it was advice to make her feel human and not disease because there are parent who do that which sad in it own right im fully aware the problems raising a child of autism might feel like but I still believe that we should not be treated as a.... problem child. Thats what I meant to say im sry if comes off differently. Edit: made some grammar fixes to my first comment
Autistic people are advanced thinkers. Celebrate them, don't stigmatize them. All they want is to be accepted how they are and not isolated for who they are.
As a "high-functioning autistic", I feel this is a very good way of quantifying the differences between neurotypicals and neurodivergents without getting caught up in nuances or irrelevant information. I was very pleased with the way autistic minds are represented, while also making sure to acknowledge the inherent diversity within the spectrum.
@hakuna matata Sooo you're telling me that if I just learn to adapt better and think happy thoughts, I will magically NOT have sensory overload and curl up in a ball on the ground clawing at my arms because my brain is getting overwhelmed by too much noise thanks to the structural difference in my brain that prevents me from processing sensory input in a normal way. Makes sense! Thank you for your oh-so-enlightening advice. The only one with "emotional fluff" here is you, my friend. :) Happy thoughts do not make disabilities disappear.
@hakuna matata Really? All I need to do is adapt in order to be in the same physical space as perfume? What, like, think my sensitive nose away? You troll
The neurologist that diagnosed me (I went in because I basically knew I was on the autism spectrum, I’m 15) and he described it as (more or less): “Imagine your brain has to connect 2 city’s, someone that doesn’t have asd would make straight easy roads between, while people with asd would make odd shaped highways from one to another. Sometimes the odd ones are faster than the straight ones, sometimes they are not.” This stuck with me and helps explain it really well.
As a 71 year old on the spectrum I know that I would have benefited greatly from a diagnosis and therapy when young. I don't need to be "cured" but I still have asocial traits, anxiety and a resulting life long depression. I knew I was different. I was treated as though I was "wrong". Finding out that I am on the spectrum was a bit late at age 65.
' Anti - social behavior is a trait of intelligence in a world full of conformists .' ~ Tesla By the way , I myself am diagnosed with Asperger at 49 years old , now 61 and more self conscious than ever before....
As an autistic myself, I can say all of this is very accurate. I'm diagnosed as an high functioning autistic with an IQ at about 130. I have a difficult time socializing with others, reading emotions and social cues. I especially have major difficulty understanding if someone is being sarcastic, lying, or joking. Because of this I never had any friends in school. I actually got so used to this that when ever someone tries to start a conversation with me and try to get to know me, I'm privately very suspicious about what that person wants. I also like to spend a majority of my time by myself and stay in my room, only coming out if called, use the bathroom, or eat. I live in Alabama, a very conservative part of the US so people I interact with have no idea or are not well informed on what autism is, so people just thought I was some weird quiet kid. Things were really bad in middle school because of that and I was bullied constantly to a point that I was suicidal and had to be homeschooled for a year. I was shoved into lockers, harrased, ridiculed, and ostracized. I still remember having to sit alone in the school lunchroom because of my terrible social skills. I had a better time socializing with my pet cat and imaginary characters than an actual human being. I enjoy focusing on the tiniest details and aspects on my favorite topics, which are history and art for me. I like hyperfixating on things such as vexillology, the study of flags, maps, history (mostly WW2 and Civil War history, bit I also enjoy other historical topics), and ect. I usually don't do with others because I'm afraid that I'll be seen as annoying and be further ostracized. Not many people my age are into the things I enjoy. I also tend to see the world in a more logical and reasonable perspective. I appear on the outside as neutral and unemotional, but my mind is very much active and emotional. I just have difficulty showing it. Because of my tendency to see the world in a more logical way, I'm not much of a religious person and identify as an atheist. But I usually keep that to myself considering where I live. Alabama is very conservative and my neighbors, coworkers, and family members tend to look down on that sort of belief. But I also understand why other people are religious and the importance of religion. I'll respect their opinions and beliefs as long as they respect mine. I have no quarrel with people who have different opinions. My mom is the only person I feel comfortable around and feel safe to be myself. She was very patient, caring, and loving. She also raised me to be more and has made me the person I am now. It's thanks to her efforts that I can hold a job, drive a car, currently be in college, and many other things the doctors who diagnosed me said I'd never achieve. My step father also helped me become who I am. He taught me how to ride a bike, introduced me to several things that I now enjoy such as video games, historical reenactments, etc. All I'm trying to say is that autism isn't a disease for a disability, it's a personality and all I and my fellow autistic brothers and sisters want is to be treated like a regular human being. We don't want anyones sympathies or hand outs, we just want to feel included and valued in society. Also, I need to remind everyone that autism is a spectrum disorder, and autism varies from person to person. Not all autistic people are like Sheldon Cooper or Shane Murphy.
Yeah I agree with your opinion, misinformed people often associate autism with a disability... but in most cases its just a different way to be, as showed in the video. im diagnosed with autism aswell and socializing is quite challenging for me, to the point i cannot make any friends. I also get really tired while making eye contact, so i avoid looking at people directly for too much time. Many autism behaviours do not suit me, but that doesnt mean im not on the spectre...
The worst part of ASD in my experience is: -being alone and because of that quite misrable, having a hard time making contact and maintaining those contacts. -getting out of you comfortzone is energy draining, the stress it generates, trying to predict every possible scenario cuz I'm scared of the unknown. i wish i were 'normal'.
My daughter struggles with this, but she has online friends that she associates with in common interests and i think this helps her cope. She started taking college courses and started out with just a few so as not to be overwhelmed. Next we'll add a job, part time if needed. She has also asked for therapy to help equip her with better skills at dealing with her anxiety. Just know you aren't alone and try reaching out for some help. It is difficult to do this but start online by looking up local resources. Also social workers are very good counselors it doesn't need to be a psychologist or psychiatrist and they arent ridiculously expensive. Your state or city will also have community assistance programs who could help refer you to people who could help. Churches are also VERY good places to go for a sense of community. You can go to their services, speak with their ministers, pastors, whatever, ask them if they have a volunteer program where you could fit in, be honest and explain what you need and why, believe me, people DO care, and it will give you a purpose and social interaction with people. Even if you aren't necessarily religious. Which we aren't! Please don't shut down. You are a unique person, there is only one of you. People on the spectrum have such an interesting way of seeing the world, and there is nothing wrong with that. Please love yourself, others will too.
I have autism, and I understand. The trying to predict every scenario got me, especially when trying to drive. I always felt overwhelmed when behind the wheel, as I tried to predict where everyone would be. I felt like I had too much surface area to account for, so I devised an alternate solution: reduce the surface area. So I got a motorcycle, and took a course to learn to ride. I went out on the street and got used to being around other cars, how they acted. It was an awesome new experience. After that, I was able to get a car license as a well as a motorcycle endorsement automatically because I took the course. You know, I used to think I was normal, and everyone else was weird. Normal is overrated. I'd rather stand out, than be another copy. I'm glad you stand out, too.
But that's normal for basically anyone. "Normal" people just haven't known what it's like to feel alone and distanced from society. Ignorant and inexperienced with that part of life they are.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I often wonder how my granddaughter is feeling and this helps me emencely, She is my heart and you are really brave to share, God Bless, from Grandma
@VaderxG yep just like everyone can get anxious but therese people diagnosed with generalized anxiety or other types where they can’t function well as others due to their anxiety so it’s to their own that’s why it’s a SPECTRUM
@@0transcendence971 I guess those people who do like human interaction more then others are also lying to themselves. Autism is not a disease, Diseases CAN have Cures. Autism is not curable and is not a thing that needs fixing
As an ASD person, I wish I had received both a diagnosis and appropriate therapy early in life as that may have spared me much grief and poor life choices.
Same with me. When we found out we realised that so many of the signs were there and it explained a lot about my personality. Knowing how to properly cope with that would have been easier. I hope that you're better now, though, as I am.
You are lucky. I had supposings in early age, but doctor said that i am only shy (i know that only from story from parents, because i was 3 years old). But after failed suicide i was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Sometimes i think it was too late.
@@wk835 suicide attempts are part of my life story as well it was still a significant amount of time after my last one 20-ish years ago that I was finally diagnosed, evidently I masked too well.
Therapy doesn't mean trying to change the kid to fit in 🙄 it's about giving them the tools to work through their difficulties and manage their emotions, communicate better and ultimately experience more happiness. It's definitely visible how happy a kid is when they learn certain skills and work through situations that were once overwhelming.
There are many autism “therapies” or therapy goals that are absolutely about fitting in rather than the wellbeing of the therapy recipient. It’s the whole basis of ABA - to make us “indistinguishable.” Because a suicidal autistic bothers neurotypicals less than an autistic who rocks and makes noises in public.
Whilst I only have ADHD, I did enjoy this video. We should stop forcing everyone to be normal, even when they can't. It's better to help people with these kinds of disabilities *without* treating them as if they are abnormal and plagued.
I have perceived ADHD and autism as a bit of polar opposites. One cherishes order and method, the other seems messy, spontaneous and whatnot. Would you agree with this perception?
@@hansmuller1625 there's actually quite a lot of overlap between ADHD and Autism, to the point that many people who are autistic also have ADHD. I believe ADHD is the most common coexisting disorder for autistic people. So there are a lot of similar experiences shared by people who have either condition
@@nodak81 I'd say there is a give and take. Autistic people need the space to get away from certain stimulus and may require special conditions like any other disability. Also, like any other disability, the ones not suffering should have a baseline understanding of it and make some accommodations. You wouldn't just tell person with a missing leg that it's up to them to learn to walk. Granted they will have to learn to adapt to this missing leg and get around, but people will need to make some changes to help the person out to some extent. People with Autism will not just learn to be normal. They will learn to adapt to an extent and many have, but will be better suited and more productive in their environment when their special needs are met.
@@nodak81 You have got to be kidding?! Which Autistic people do you know that asked to be born with Autism? Autistic people fight EVERY FREAKING DAY of their lives to fit into `our' society. My 8 year old son included. He is constantly in `class' about what is socially acceptable or appropriate. Even when he is just enjoying himself by learning people's birth years so he can tell them how old they are and satisfy his numbers craving, he has to try to remember things like some women might not want to tell their age or it's not numbers time right now because we are doing Grammer or this person was already in a conversation with someone else, none of which he heard because he was focused on numbers. How dare you suggest that it is up to individuals with Autism to learn our rules, when that is something they will have to do their entire lives while people without Autism would only need some brief education to try to understand even just a little. I would hope once people get that brief education, they would care enough to learn a bit further but comments like yours shows me that some people will never even care enough to get the 1st bit of education. I guess that's why we still have bullies.
@@chiheart1980 I understand that this is concerning your son, and to you he means more than anything, but please, turn down the zeal if you can. Understanding will never win out if not. Insulting them feels good in the short term, but that just galvanizes those against us even more. It’s opportunistic.
@@nodak81 I don’t agree with you, on the basis that we’re already being taught how to fit in, and we’ve always been taught this. When we obviously can’t fit in because of our sensitivities aren’t accommodated for and we’re alienated because nobody understands us, society digs its heels in and blames us as individuals for a problem that is systemic. We have been trying to fit in since the dawn of civilization, and regardless of how hard we try, it hasn’t worked. We need a different solution; one that works for all of us, preferably.
@@gliiitched I see what you are saying and I apologize for doing anything that widens the gap between intolerance and understanding. This is a learning experience for my family. My 1st instinct is to jump to the defense when I see or hear inexperienced remarks on Autism or ADHD. I can't speak of personal experience on what the world looks like from my autistic son's eyes. I can only speak of the feelings and experiences that I have watching him navigate day to day life. I can understand what my severely ADHD son is going through though because I see myself as a child, struggling to understand why I was so different than my friends. Mine was untreated and I always felt so different. I would be all over the place, then later burn with shame that I couldn't seem to control that behavior. Because of understanding my middle son so well and remembering my own struggles, I jump to defend my boys because they both work so hard at life in such different ways. It's a Mama Bear thing. My youngest is about to enter the grades where other kids become very mean so it may be some years before I can actually turn that down. I can certainly work on it though.
After working with children having ASD for over 40 years, I must say that this is a very generalized overview of ASD. The spectrum is HUGE and goes from highly functioning "genius-savants" all the way to nonverbal, delayed, self-injurious, totally dependent individuals. It is truly unfair to say simply, accept them the "way they are," without considering those who have severe difficulty coping with life due to the "way they are." Those who need help with communication, socialization, activities of daily living, even simple self-care like brushing teeth and bathrooming, should be tended to, taught and cared for with compassion, and practical training. I've noticed that as ASD has become more recognized in recent years, people tend to think of those mildly or moderately affected with this condition. My sibling who had ASD needed constant care, training and attention without which he would have never had the quality of life he deserved.
Totally agree with this post. My son is at the lower end of functioning with ADLs, speech and cognition and has hyposensitivity, not hypersensitivity. These generalisations minimise the extent of support some people need. My son interacts with adults and climbs all over them, but completely ignores other children. He will eat all sorts of colourful foods with textures. It makes me wonder if these are two different disorders with overlapping symptoms.
The way you describe the autism spectrum is incredibly harmful to us. There are plenty of autistic geniuses who require assistance with day-to-day living, and there are plenty of autistics with learning disabilities who live and work completely independently. I cannot begin to tell you how many of the problems in my life and my son’s life (and our autism presents very differently from each other) can be summed up as, “Non-autistics seeing us as a functioning level and then using that as an excuse to deny us accommodations.”
Heightened senses is a real pain. Tickles are TORTURE. Sound of a crowd talking? Like bubbling grease. Sound of heavy traffic passing by? You can't hear someone talking unless they're right next to you. Something in the corner of your eye you don't expect? Immediately move. I have to dress in clothes a size too big or they feel constraining; like I'm being squeezed. Be in a room with a lot of people? Feel a pressure and paranoia, as if you're under a microscope; because you have no way to be social. Then you feel WORSE because you fake paying attention and just want to go; like in the Deadpool video game - "It's so booorring" My nephew thinks it's like I got a spidey sense from the physical responses I told him about
@@JD-ld9vy I know. It hurts my eyes to. I practically started the umbrella trend in the summer to keep cool and make it bearable to see. God is it WORSE in winter. Its ACTUALLY easier to look at the snow than straight ahead; the bright contrast HURTS.
I'm 22 years old now and in retrospect, I feel like high functioning autism explains my school life and my general discomfort with social interactions. I struggled at a young age to grasp certain subjects well while excelling elsewhere, and when logic was defied I felt compelled to ask the hard questions. This lead to my general discontent with schooling and eventually lost my interest entirely. Other matters in life were only amplified by my sensitive mind and this lead me to be depressed for years, eventually settling into a wonderful level of anxiety. People view me as a bright mind with a great attitude behind it, but I just want to become more reclusive and enjoy the world from afar.
Hey no worries, i think there are many people who just feel like we can't relate to anyone becuase our minds are unique. I guess we just have to respect eachother and continue to live our lives.
from what im reading, exactly me junior high, i was like .08 points behind the valedictorian high school, i failed all but 1 class my senior year, but it was the 1 class I needed to graduate... no one makes sense, try to hang out with people but we're just aimlessly walking in a mall. i guess it's just to wander, but why are we... wandering? why can't we have a goal? hated it, even if I enjoyed the company I was with. should've had a plan. social interactions are a fucking maze, a minefield, and I just want to make a friend, but then I get slapped with "I have a boyfriend" by girls or guys who just don't generally just don't give a shit, and I struggle to relate and interact and have a back and forth unless its a topic I'm explicitly into. and it's frighteningly difficult to talk about anything that isn't in my narrow interests because it seems so mind-numbingly boring if it isn't the handful of things I DO like, but I must talk about them to relate to people, but it's so fucking... almost painful is this just me being weird or is it a spectrum thing because my parents were very devout on the notion that I'm an extremely talented little angel that they're going to do everything in their power to make me miserable and ashamed of myself for not doing all my schoolwork and clearly having issues and not figuring them out on my own as a child. and now I have this mental block ingrained by my parents that makes it a ridiculously painful struggle to try and seek help and diagnosis, even though I've already been diagnosed with depression
This is the stereotypical story of every Asperger's childhood, welcome to the Club...😕 Try to find work that requires fine logical analysis of facts or data. Nobody beats us in those fields.
That's just about the best comment I've read on here. I agree that a huge percentage of NTs have this completely illogical way of thinking, and I mean totally backwards. My guess is they live on pure social behaviour, without regards for what is true or what makes sense. They go with the majority vote, and stick to it even if they can't make sense of it. All that just to "Belong" to a group, which seems to me their holy grail in life. Human social behaviour is extremely overrated in my opinion.
It's true. You can see what look like developmental categories of people when you look at the flow of opinions in society. There are the paranoids, who think everything is a trick and come up with their own ridiculous nonsense (aka folk wisdom); then the tribalists, who don't even care what's true and just side with their team; then the hall monitors, who don't even care which team they're on as long as they get to be horrible to the people they deem "bad"; then the cynical villains, who lie and cheat for their own gain and think that the people who don't are stupid; and then there's the poor saps who try to play the game straight and end up being victimized or taken advantage of by everyone. People suck.
My therapist, who is also an autist, likes to say that, as far as she's concerned, autists are the ones who make sense, and the only reason they seem "crazy" is because society is made up of crazy people. She cites things such as autists tending to be more honest, more empathic, more intelligent (when they don't have serious learning disabilities, at least), more hardworking, etc. However, they live in societies where dishonesty, selfishness, and thriving on social connections and charm rather than intelligence and merit, are the norms.
I'm neurotypical, but I'm a HUGE medical and science dork! I'm taking this as something to keep in mind for any potential future interactions or future children I may have. The last thing I want to do is upset or overwhelm someone unintentionally! Thanks for the insight!
the most challenging part of being on the spectrum for me are the challenges with social interaction. there have been many situations where I try to connect to the people around me and end up saying something that doesn’t connect with anyone at all which results in a awkward silence. no matter how many times this happens to me, it’s always painful and unbearable and makes not want to talk to anyone ever again. despite this, I still have made some very close friends over the years that understand and accept me for who I am and have helped me improve my social skills through time and open and honest dialogue.
I like joking around sometimes but I prefer to talk about deep subjects like psychology and philosophy. I feel like no one likes the deep analysis of these subjects like I do and they end up joking about the subject and not taking it seriously. I get disappointed but just go with the flow and joke back.
@@crossdressingthug3443 I feel you buddy. For me, it's typically the sociopolitical compass and how different rocket engines compare (think like, cost vs isp and thrust type stuff) but everyone is just like "political compass? Haha communism!" Or " rocket engine? Big barbecue!" And it is quite frustrating...
Both, I'd say. Autistic children do need to be taught the tools to deal with a callous world, but I would also say that their gifts can be a blessing to the world. The more tools they are given to deal with the world, while the more tolerant and able to work with such children the world becomes, the greater the benefit such unique focus will give to everybody.
this - it's very difficult to explain to someone whom is on the autism higher functioning & average functioning as the world is not as clear cut as they assume. For example with people whom are emotional and express it openly, to that person they can come across as cold or uncaring along with the unsympathetic views they may seem. ~Trooper
@@trooperthatsall5250 I happen to be on the very high functioning end of the spectrum - or JUST off it. Screenings put me exactly on the line between being and not being an autist. I would claim that many times, people like me see the patterns of how the world works very clearly, while those who keep going on about how there's no black and white at all, and how everything is grey, maaaaybe just need to listen a little more and try to learn those patterns. XD That would lead to a lot less over-sensitivity to frank and honest feedback.
Not to mention how their minds can change the world. Just ask Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Temple Grandin, and many others that were on the spectrum that contributed to the world in many ways.
Myself and my daughter as well. I look at it as having different strengths and weaknesses. She taught herself to read and do math. She needed help learning how to read people and express herself in ways others can understand.
@@borticus101 I absolutely love it because it’s the first in my family. She was the best blessing I could’ve ever asked for. I usually join in on her shenanigans because I enjoy it. Her cheap thrills happen to be mine.
@@killacounty I know my daughter and quite frankly, you don’t know us well enough to judge what she is or isn’t. If you’re gonna say shit, spell lying right. Now, another thing is, you can be on a spectrum if you’re not showing signs of full blown Autism. So quite frankly, I would trust my daughters doctor and specialists than someone who thinks she isn’t. So, keep your bullshit to yourself. ALSO, Autism isn’t a fucking tragedy, every child is different and expresses themselves as who they are individually. Everyone displays the disease differently.
Have 2 siblings both part of the spectrum... Both different but also similar in different ways. As they are my younger siblings, I can't help but have affection for them as they are my blood. But it does feel lonely in not having the more normal experience, especially when hearing what peers would say about their experiences with their siblings. It took a long while to accept both of them, as it would since I was very young when I was told of their condition. As I grew up I realised more and more how dealing with them changed me, I don't think of behaviours outside the norm as weird as it's my own normal to see. I instinctively try to assess everyone's behavioural patterns and classify them so I can deal with them differently to achieve mutually beneficial relationships. My parents were fair in giving attention as they age the amount we needed, but me obviously needing less still meant I got less. It gave a false impression of being less tended to. I used to get mixed feelings about my own achievements as my siblings received similar praise for much less, although they might have had to do more effort for that. It's tough because the full picture is only understood taking their condition into account, and skimming the surface as I'd do with everyone else gives false impressions. Between the both of them, I tend to respond to each as I'm responded to. So I end up being more affectionate with the youngest as she's affectionate herself. The other one is more introverted and speaks less, and doesn't know how to show affection, so there's less warmth and more neutrality in our relationship. It's never not going to be tough with them, and the misconceptions will never end either, but I wouldn't trade then for anyone.
As a man with high functioning autism I'll say that therapy helped me a lot. I had bad anger management issues into my early 20s, it was my default emotion when something didn't go my way. I also have ADHD and needed help with organisational skills and it just helps to talk to someone about your personal problems too. I'm a better person for it and have more patience and less stress now than ever. I've got a full time job, a nice car and am about to buy a house. We can make it in society if we seek the support we need.
I made a shortfilm about autism, since i’m autistic myself and have a strong dislike for the representation in film. I hope you like it! ruclips.net/video/dr4bX8qmed0/видео.html
Theres so many different flavours of autism, this is the most common but there are also outgoing version, kids on the spectrum who talk alot and can make eye contact.
thanks . i have an intense thing for body and eye and intonation movement. I feel like i deeply understand where a mind is coming from.yet i can't relationship.... don't crave company for very long. But sometimes feel like the temple grandon of humans ....lol.
I never had problems with eye contact. Actually, I was the opposite. One of the reasons people thought I was weird is I’d make eye contact for too long
I read your comment and immediately my brain wandered into "I'm going to be literal" mode and I imagined how much effort it would take to lick all the autistic folk, the immense freak out that would result of the unexpected physical stimulous, and I'm still laughing. But yes. What this guy said :D
i cant make eye contact for the life of me, but i can talk 100 miles an hour, but if i was in a room full of new people and told to work with them i’d probably have a meltdown lol
I love the comment of, "Autism is not a disease and can't be cured." Tell that to the doctors I was forced to go and see and the multitude of experimental meds my grandparents signed me into taking.
I agree that we don’t need to change people with autism. I’m fairly sure that most STEM advancements have came from people with autism, more In particularly people with Asperger’s (like me).
“i hope that this will help you learn to act normal when you grow up” my mom daid something like that when i was like 8. shes learned more now i think but i dont think adhd goes away. its kinda there forever
Social interactions are my biggest puzzles. Even with my closest family members and peers, I have this uncontrollable urge to analyze how I interact. I have to ask myself where my eyes are supposed to go, whether looking away is rude, how close or far I should physically be, etc. I once told my coworker that I prepare a detailed mental script of how I would interact with clients (which includes results, possible facial reactions, questions, etc.). I believed she would do the same thing. Apparently not. I just convinced myself that I'm the greatest introvert, but even my introverted friends don't think like that. My social anxiety has never stopped even after all my attempts to be social. I thought performing in and hosting events would change me but my urge to just hole myself in simply worsened. I don't want this to be confirmation bias at work, but I relate to a lot of autistic symptoms. Looking back on my childhood, the "aha" moments just keep coming and getting reinforced. Being in a country and family that disregards mental illnesses as being weak-minded, I'm inclined to doubt myself everyday. Hopefully, I will have myself diagnosed and learn more about myself.
@user-mt8yg3fd1f I think the thing that’ll help you most is to forget autism is a thing and identify the things that worsen the symptoms (stress, lack of sleep and idle thoughts), and learn to manage them (mindfulness/short meditation sessions, dedicating some nights to your own wellbeing by going to bed on time, and listening to music or finding a hobby to keep from procrastination).
A couple of points i want to say as an autistic adult guy: 1) i organize things and i give the analogy of a garage. Some people have a garage with lots of things but people with autism need those things in boxes because otherwise they won’t have a way to park their car. Every time they get new information they have to take that nee clutter out of the way of the car they’re driving and put it into a box. The problems are that that takes time (longer processing) and sometimes the boxes are in other boxes. Additionally we don’t want two boxes out at once or one thing in two boxes. 2) a lot of people as they grow up desire and crave friendships and relationships. We just get so bummed out from trying so hard and seeing it consistently fail for reasons we don’t understand it’s usually better to not even try anymore. 3) Therapy is helpful because it lets me solve some bigger issues and to sort and label boxes. We shouldn’t discourage a lot of asd behaviors but we should still realize there’s a normalcy range and working on some thorns helps a lot. 4) social skills are skills. That means they take practice. Coming out of covid people are out of practice from their social skills and should be given grace and feedback and opportunities to work on things like conversation
THANK YOU for just showing it as something that makes us think different, not a disease or sickness. I hate being seen as someone who is “dumb” or “sick” even though, I actually have pretty good grades, and consider myself pretty artistic, and I don’t think I’d be this was if I didn’t have autism. Autism is not a disease Autism is our brains thinking differently.
Right. I absolutely love my autistic brain. So grateful to be me, and just wish society would try to understand and let me be myself without saying that there's something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me.
Humans are odd people and if something doesn't fit into their view of the world, that means it must be wrong. Or at least, that's probably how most people percieve it.
i like the effort and intention but i dont like tne inacurracy in the presentation. Its not really helping if you go far off the other end. Autism is not a disease by the mere fact diseases can at least theoreticly be cured, and usually evolve over time. However autism can be severly debilitating - if you have Kanners Autism youll likely need constant support from caretakers. If you have early childhood autism you may never be able to speak in your entire life. if you ave Aspergers autism....you may seem awkward but you can live a perfectly normal life. That said as society we make progress, there is companies that have preferential hiring for autistic people BECAUSE the "think different" part can be a major boon to a company. Here in germany we have an IT software developer that only hires autistic programmers as they found that autistic people make way less mistakes, work harder, and are surprisingly creative in problem solving. That said they also hire therapists that help the programmers with aspects of the job that they aint good at and ofc. non autistic people for say communication with clients. Thats quite some extra costs for the company, but they do fine and think its worth it even if they have to hire more people in the end (company is named auticon)
Children can't be changed, and trying to change them just leads them to learning to pretend to be different to please their parents/therapists, while being internally unhappy. What children with autism need is to be taught how to navigate a world that is not made for them. To be taught things, specially about human interaction, which are innate to others but not innate to them. Such as the example given of recognizing facial expressions.
There’s only so much “teaching” one can do to an autistic person, and things will still fall apart for them. Not everything that’s taught will apply to every situation. I’m autistic, and while I wasn’t diagnosed until I was well into adulthood, I’d like to believe I was taught human interaction. It still wasn’t enough. Having to navigate specific situations and getting it wrong most of the time has caused me to develop unhealthy thought patterns that led to depression when I was 12 years old. What autistic children (and autistic adults!) need is for non-autistic people to learn to accommodate autistic people. Autistic people have tried to accommodate non-autistic people all their lives. It’s time for non-autistic people to do the same.
@@ryuusei1907 Well, yes, the expectation isn't, and shouldn't be, that they will live "normal lives", so to speak. Autistic people should avoid, as much as possible, situations that are disadvantageous to their condition. The learning is for the situations where they can't avoid getting out of their comfort zone. I'm the non-social type of autist. I don't have a very hard time interacting with others, I just have an extreme disinterest in forming and maintaining social connections. My therapist, who is also an autist, tells me that I don't ever need to be a gregarious fellow, but I need to maintain at least a few connections for very much basic survival reasons. There is safety in having at least a small social network. I'm not fond of the idea of having to put in effort in maintaining connections, something I have no interest in, but I can't deny her logic. To be honest, I think that's an unrealistic expectation. I mean, more awareness about autism helps, but society at large will never be able to significantly bend in that manner. Neuro-typical people struggle even to accommodate the differences between themselves to begin with, which are relatively small in comparison. Only someone who loves an autist will put in the effort to make the accommodations necessary for them. Expecting that from society at large will likely only lead to disappointment. People love to put out lip service about tolerance, but actual real tolerance is in short supply.
@@ryuusei1907 Unfortunately that is not how nature/life works. You can't tell 95% of the population to accommodate the 5%. Unless the 5% have some sort of evolutionary mechanism to out benefit the majority...they'll always be on the bottom.
I am 57 this year and finally got diagnosed with Asperger's. All my life i was called "Stupid', "faliure" or "Whats wrong with you?"...or.."Why are you like that?" I had NO idea it was a condition. I thought i honestly was just 'weird'. I grew up in the 1970's, 80's ect. And back then, there wasnt much knowledge on this subject, But i have the diagnosis now and im SO relived!! Im NOT 'weird!" Im ME!!
Same at 32, I was used to being the weird creepy guy, didn’t mind I just liked different stuff and kept to myself. Problem I have is dealing with the rumour mill and work due to people gossiping just because you don’t fit in even though I’ll help anybody.
You can't believe how relieved I am to hear that from someone else! I've always been so hard on myself because I had my own mother tell me, "What's wrong with you?" in the same context as this. She doesn't mean it, I know she loves me and she's done so much for me, but I can feel at peace knowing it wasn't an attack on me, but my condition. Thank you.
I wouldn't call it a condition, really Again ASD is more of a different operating system for the brain, most people run "windows" but some people are running linux which has some just generally different ways of doing things. It's not that one is better than the other, but there are advantages for specific activities over others. Windows is great because most people can discuss their issues with it and help you out, you don't really have to think about the core of the system to get access to your documents and apps, it's a more social based system since your understanding of the system (or lack of understanding) doesn't get in the way of you using the apps to connect with other people. Linux is great because you have a better awareness of what's going on, it gives you finer controls to where you don't need to go downloading an app to do things for you but you also spend most of your day working out basic functions, and you have to work out basic navigation around the operating system pretty much on your own. It's a different system and there's a bunch of different distributions that all have a varying degree of difficulty to work past just to do basic things so getting help with your specific distribution can be confusing and lonely. Trying to connect with other people is a chore as the simple ways are difficult for them to figure out, and trying to connect to their apps requires a lot of work for you to get through. Arguably a "linux" brain is a better system to work with in the long run, but if the people that make the windows apps don't go out of their way to make their programs work with your system too then it can be a real burden. It's is a surprisingly good parallel.
One thing I noticed that really helped me was that we are literally no different than other person in terms of pattern recognition. We just do it differently and have different approaches, but the logic is flawed and of fiction. It just seems more realistic because we tend get details better. One thing that really caused a lot of emotional turmoil the constant lectures about how the world does not follow patterns. Which is not true, there's just an amazing amount of data to sift through for a person, whereas machines will eventually make that leap. Especially with people I greatly struggled with people when they said something positive about someone, but meant it in a negative sense. I would tell Person B that Person A said that about them, and caused a fight I really didn't understand of how it would occur. The recognizing of emotional states, and how those states can influence people with different kind of temperaments is crucial and something I feel should be focused in early therapy. It takes a lot of mental stamina, but I think its very important. Even if a child's abilities exceeds that of their peers, in the real world I find that social ability, and maneuvering in positive and effective ways reward more than actual practical skills and abilities. Especially when it comes to leadership, communication and relationship management which I know I will only be barely competent at rather than excel. I think after I have proper diagnosis I can get proper therapy. Edit 1: 1 year later in 2023 turns out I did, no wonder this video explained so much to me and was recommended by a friend.
People hate the thought that they can be predicted, like some biological machine. They can also be programmed like one. Indoctrination, propaganda, brainwashing, etc. They exist and have been perfected for eons.. You will be surprised how many people have the same beliefs, while all simultaneously thinking those were there idea... Despite most of the populace sharing the exact same beliefs.
@@davidevans7477 I absolutely agree. I find that admitting and realizing what controls you actually frees you. Many people do not want to see, and end up being deceived ad controlled instead.b
To your question: autistic people need and will thrive from both - therapy as a safe space to explore who they are and supportive parenthood and social network conducive to embrace their unique light and talents, that would build up their strengths rather than merely compensating for their weaknesses. Such environments can really raise exceptional humans. Highly emotionally sensitive and incredibly talented in a variety of areas (contrary to the narrative that autistic people tend to develop one interest and be obsessed about it. Increased neural sensitivity and activity in the brain allows for more room to learn and understand a domain and sprak similar interest in all the related domains, too.)
From a personal (and opposite) viewpoint I've always thrived in conflict and challenge. Having a safe space as a child would have bored me to tears... and I really didn't like being embraced - too confining. My best friend on the other hand, he needs time to process things and needs validation quite a lot. He would definitely benifit from your methods and outlook. He's a kind, sweet man that cares for animals and is afraid of wasps (or anything with stingy bits). Me? I'm a mean old curmudgeon that is more than happy to defend myself, my friend and anyone else within eyesight or earshot. I loved my dog. She was the dumbest smart dog you ever met (or the smartest dumb dog, not sure which). She knew all the tricks. Roll over, play dead, stay, paw, bang! (which is like play dead, but with extra bits) and there was a whole routine where I'd say all the tricks and she'd get them wrong ("Sit! Noo.. That's play dead.. Okay... try Play Dead! Noo, that's roll over) it was a terrific party trick. Never once did she get a treat for doing a trick or learning a new one. She did the tricks because that was what we expected her to do, and that was that. She got treats at random, whenever we felt like it, just because we loved her. "This is a treat for being who you are". I never let my dog's brain get tired, she knew when it was okay to completely ignore me and when it was time to do as was told. We'd go to the dog park once in a while. Dragon (my dog) wasn't the biggest dog, as she was a rescue, but she could run fast. I'd get to chatting to some of the other dog owners "why is your dog called Dragon? She doesn't look like a dragon..?" "Becaue she's always "Dragon" on the leash!" Well, I had a particular trick for folk that thought they had better dogs than I had. I'd call my dog over - she'd kinda break off a bit and see what the noise was, but then go back to play. Eventually whoever it was would tell me "You 'aint never gunna get that dog to listen to you, it's at a dog park playing with other dogs!" "Too excited" "That dog is very excitable, it just wants to run" I'd tell them they were probably right and we'd chat for a bit more. Eventually It'd be time to leave and I'd say "Dragon." and pull out the leash. There was. Every time. Sitting right where I wanted her, waiting patiently. Now... as well as Aspergers I've got Dyspraxia, so my fingers and my brain don't always communicate all that well. I tie my shoes the day after I buy them and never untie them. It takes a long time for me to clip on the leash. 'Ol Dragon would sit there patiently as the clip would clink against the hook.. clink. clink. "Grumble grumble, stupid leash" clink. clink. So much for not getting my dog to listen. Hmmph. Anyhoo.... People can be like that too. Don't reward them. There's no need. The reward is being part of a team. Treats are just a bonus. I honestly think I found myself an autistic dog. She didn't need a therapist, because even though the other dogs were bigger than her and meaner than her, she knew she was valued for being herself. She didn't need a safe space, because although the world is not safe her Home was. Therapists should be for post trauma. You shouldn't feel trauma for being yourself. Mind you, there was that time she was attacked by a peccary... and the time she was let loose in a field and tried making friends with some meth heads... and the time... Boy was that "smart" dog dumb... Anyhoo. Now you have a rambling story. :D
@@myplaylist2468 nice story of your dog! Glad you found a pal like that :) "Safe space" doesn't mean a boring one, merely that it offers a space to be and explore yourself. It CAN be mentally stimulating - and no it doesn't mean that everyone is just nice to you and take every punch you make. My late father, for example, I suspect, knew of my neurodiversity and he supported a healthy debate, fed my curiosity with huge variety of books and courses. He loved me and offered a safe space for me to be myself - but it didn't mean that he put cushion around every pillar - he knew that bumping into some of them will enable my learning along the way. Not unlike goes for my therapy, too: the amount of times that my therapist and I debate and explore and learn, sometimes with me crying and pushing back on the insights presented - is one of the key features that enabled, what I consider, beautiful personal growth. It is through challenges that we learn: but you don't need to jump off the building in order to understand how gravity works. The narrative of "you need to have been traumatised for therapy" prevents so many people from going into therapy. Many are suffering or simply living "half-lives" where people are stuck in a rut and lack support and audacity to make changes. Besides, a definition of trauma for one person differs from the other. A slight misinterpretation of behaviour can lead to limiting beliefs of our subconscious that reverberate through years of "wasted" life. And you absolutely can have trauma for being yourself, btw - an easy example is bullying in early years of life because other kids thought you're "too weird". Just an example. You said you enjoy a healthy debate - there you have it :)
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 5. Among the things that my parents were told was that if I progress in the way the doctors believed I would, I likely wouldn't be able to read, or even live independently. But they also said it could help for my parents to work with me in being able to do those things and more and here I am, living independently with my wife and soon-to-be 2 sons in a house I bought. My wife has a brother with autism too, and she said something that I really resonated with: that autism is kind of a language all it's own, and learning the ability to casually communicate with other people, reading faces and whatnot is like learning a new language. It was almost as if a light bulb turned on when my wife said this, because I, for the most part, have learned to read faces, situations, and general conversation at this point, when several years ago I was very quiet and not that great at reading people. I essentially learned a new language in being able to do these things. All this is to say to those who are afraid of interacting with people in what's considered standard fashion because it may be considered masking, I say there's no shame in learning how to interact with people in the language they can understand. You don't have to bury the fact that you have autism in the process (in fact I wear it as a badge of honor because of how far I've gotten in life with it.) but I don't think people should be shamed for trying to mingle with and understand people in what's considered "normal" fashion. Of course, on the other side, it is a breath of fresh air when a "normal" person learns to communicate with an autistic person, which is the case with my wife with her brother. I guess the takeaway is that neither end should rear the entire burden of communicating with the other side, but it would be a good idea to do our best to meet in the middle. I realize that this is much easier said than done for quite a few reasons, but, as basic as it sounds, if both sides worked with each other in understanding each other, I don't find hard to believe that autistic people would be in a better position in the social, educational, and general life aspects. Autism isn't something to be cured, just understood. Being an autistic person who can communicate "normally" shouldn't be considered a "masker", just someone who has learned the language that "normal" people understand.
I guess it is the same with ADD. It's people having disorders because or with the surrounding system. It is more about the system norrowing out people that don't fit in. So why trying to make these appropriate for the system than maybe better change the system and open it so people can fit? It often is to change our mindset than people - in either way and for both sides. Acceptance and cherishing each other is the best way to get along with each other. Tearing boundaries down on both sides instead of making them higher.
@@stefaniebunner428 you have some points but what you are afraid of is deeper than "the system". People don't like differences. Diversity is a myth. We all like uniformity. And on top of that, no human likes mysteries.... So when you have someone next to you that is "different" a) she is different than you, b) in a way you can not explain. That result is feeling strange, the least. It is a normal reaction. If it was a system, we could travel, find a different social system and see something else. But there's nothing like that unfortunately. Plus, yes there are times that you will have to adjust and try to "fit", because what you will get worth the effort. Love is the only "medicine". Love is the only motive for someone to show acceptance, patience, tolerance, understanding. Yes, but this someone that will show you that love, lives in the system.... Will you adjust a little bit so you can swim in the same system with him?
During my teenage years I noticed that I was different than the other kids. Everyone around me was wearing makeup (I do not understand the logic in that), going to parties (way too noisy), drinking (3 reasons I don't do that), etc. And here I was in a bedroom filled with Winnie the Pooh stuff, playing with toys, or drawing in a colouring book, being in my own happy little bubble. There was a bit of a struggle because every teenager, generally speaking, wants to be a part of the group. Honestly, if I could go back to highschool with the knowledge I have now, about myself, I would do things very differently. I got diagnosed with ASD about 5 years ago, and that has given me a lot of answers. Plus reading comments like these makes me happy, because it makes me realize: "Hey, you're not alone in this."
make-up feels so icky on my face, I dislike parties aswell however drinking i dont mind, but I'd rather spend my time alone with my earbuds in playing tetris
The thing I don't get about makeup: it's sticky, it's expensive as hell, it takes forever to be done in the morning, and the worst: you put it up in the morning and take it off in the evening, on the same day... what? 🤣
As someone who was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at the age of 4, I'm surprised by how little of this I've been made aware of. All of a sudden I can actually back up many of my "quirks".
I never heard the word autistic associated with me until I was an adult. A friends wife picked up on it not long after meeting me. She didn't tell me though. Reflecting upon all the things I heard about my childhood, as well as my experiences, made me realize I has on the spectrum long before my friends wife picked it up. My girlfriend at the time was offended (that's who my friend's wife told). I was not offended as I had already come to that conclusion. People tend to equate autism with being mentally disabled.
I was diagnosed with autism as a child, I don’t believe there is such thing as high functioning or low functioning autism. Everyone functions in their own way and putting a value to it by standards of how “normal” people function is not fair to us on the spectrum.
I've been around the sun 40 times, was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome on my 37th time around, there has been no choice but to increase my tolerance of pain and define my own world. Imagine growing up thinking you have quirks when it's obvious evolution. There are no more thumbs coming down the pipeline but not only was I born on the spectrum, I was born without wisdom teeth, a very tiny apendix. I developed Disassociation Disorder from social anxiety, you know, we're just expected to put ourselves out there, so I can leave my body at will, it's like blinking, I can purposely do it, I can purposely stop and it happens out of reflex based on situations.
@@theseveredheadofjohnthebap7322 I'm 23 and I'm pretty sure I have aspergers. I've also been dealt a abusive family who constantly screamed and threatened each other so for most of my life i could literally live in my fantasyland ignoring the world. I suffered a mild concussion and had been diagnosed depression after a suicide attempt at 12 my social anxiety is terrible but I've learned to fake communication skills ( guess that means I learned them) but my "battery" is like super short.
I like to quote an autistic friend, whichs motto I live by: "We socialize efficiently. We communicate when it serves a purpose: transfer of practical information. Neurotypicals communicate just for the sake of communication (like small talk). They're creating work for the sake of work. They are the disabled ones, not us." After watching, studying people since the beginning of my life I got a hand of how things are done by neurotypical people. As a woman I was praised for being quiet and still, even tho I was completely overloaded with senses which made me freeze rather than throwing a tantrum. As a child I didn't break down or showed much emotions that turn into an extrem because "that's not how a lady behaves". When I would behave too much out of the norm it ended in violence, extreme isolation or exert confrontation... It was important that once I found things that I find interesting are connected to a social aspect, like horses or being in a fandom of a boyband. I can only explain it by how cis women are raised that we find those obsessions that connects to other people. Because on the opposite you have mostly autistic men that peak out hobbies that are more isolated. But having somewhat social hobbies, help in a way to learn more about how the mind of a neurotypical works. But I spent all this work into understanding everything of a neurotypical and yet not many try to even accept the being of an autistic.. The perception of us does really depend on where one is on the spectrum, how they were raised and their gender.. You could say that we are all different to one another just like neurotypicals.
Or you or your friend is just immersed in your Ego and feel the need to put down "normal" people to feel good about yourself. Small talk is cultural not specific to Autism. In Finland there is no small talk. People find it rude if you start yammering on about nothing. Honestly I find most people now days whether autistic or not ramble on about themselves ad nauseum. And it generally revolves around how special they are rather than actually connecting with the other person and being interested in the other person. Either you want to be alone forever and never learn to truly connect to another or you go on and on about your own subject that only you are interested in. All people can learn to conversate and be respectful of others. Oh and I have Aspergers.
@@rokurota3311 thanks for the reply! Small talk is a conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters. I agree with you partly that small talk is not common or typical in every culture. I'd go so far to say that I, as an autistic person, can listen to people small talking but I simply wouldn't know how to keep it light. Since autistic brains are more complex it does end often to go a bit deeper into topics, which not everyone wants to engage with. Which is fine. But I would claim that there is a difference between small talk (again unimportant and uncontroversial matters) and getting to know someone. I did explain the connecting to others further after the quote, also saying that whether you have autism or not, we are all different to one another.. please read my entire comment before accusing me that I would not try to understand others and "immersed in my Ego".
@@rokurota3311 I really liked the quote she shared - until the last part: ”THEY are the Disabled ones, NOT us”! 🙄 I’d have to side with my fellow autistic RokuRota here on his post above. Awareness & Acceptance are great initiatives that we should all continue to strive for; but grade-school superiority-talk (like, “no, we’re not disabled, you are!”😝) is exactly the kind of thinking we are trying to correct here. I’m not big about “pride” either. This is a personal conviction of mine. I abhor the idea of pride for your autism, pride for your melanin, pride for your gender, pride for the gender that turns you on, or pride for the gender you want people to pretend to acknowledge you as. Just have a humble amount of self-worth (in yourself as a whole) and for those things you ACTUALLY did yourself (e.g. wrote a book, coded a program, overcame adversity, or made a positive impact in someone else’s life), and not pride and laude yourself over your differences with others. I get the sentiment though. I too think cutting out the useless chit-chat is far better, but holding that belief doesn’t make me any better compared to someone else; who just wants to talk for the sake of talking and maintaining a connection to someone through conversation. As far as droning on about our self-interests to my “uninterested victims”, I am guilty of that too. Conversation is (as her friend stated) about sharing information, and we’re all guilty of info-dumping in our conversations the data we feel is exciting and worth sharing. The problem is, we can’t always tell who will be interested, or when we’ve lost their “polite interest” mid-dump! 😅
My 20 y/o son is Autistic and it has been really hard for me to explain that to my younger children. This video is a total God sent. Thanks so much for this! 🙏🏼♥️
As somebody with Aspergers, one thing I noticed is that people don’t look at us on a case-by-case basis. For some, “acceptance” is a massive disservice. We can adapt to the world and become better in the social realm, but we don’t know how without some guidance. Others, no matter how hard they try, just can’t. They need that acceptance to flourish.
My wife is a psychologist who specializes in the diagnosis and early intervention of ASD. They absolutely don’t try to change who the child is. They work on intervention techniques with the child and the parents to ensure the child has the greatest chance at a happy and fulfilling childhood.
my son is 3 and asd level 1. he goes to an ab school because his mother makes him. I'm fine with him not going. sometimes he likes it, but most of the time he'd rather stay home with me. their exact words were " we want to help teach him to correct his social behaviors so that he fits in and can function within society. hopefully be 5 he will be able to pass with normality and fit in because his autism was caught early enough." personally I feel that if he's autistic then so am I. I feel his "autism" is more of a nature thing because of how his mother is with him rather than a nature thing and he was born that way. regardless, I don't treat him any differently than I would if he never were diagnosed with autism.
Here’s a novel idea, Why don’t we just stop it before it happens and quit poisoning our children at birth with random inoculations that don’t actually do anything except load brains up with mercury poisoning.
As someone of 67 with many of these traits, I had to grow up and spend most of my adult life feeling different. I now see these traits as assets and make the most of them. Other things Im not good at, I have learn't to improve and in some case simply avoid.
So they don't try to change their bad social behaviors at all like a sociopath? A sociopath can't be treated either really. They are who they are, but they can learn to be better socially and have a more normal life. It's pretty difficult at times to go through life feeling like everyone doesn't think logically and it's the twilight zone. And handling emotions are very difficult at times.
As someone with Autism I think it would have helped me massively to know from a young age the reason WHY establishing social connections is important, instead of being told that I should want to be around people and have lots of friends because it's 'nice' or 'fun' to hang out with a big group of people. (logic). Socialising in large groups is borderline debilitating at times, because the effort that it takes to mask uses up so much mental energy. I have to think about every single thing before I say it, remind myself constantly to look people in the eye, smile, nod, pretend to be listening and interested, etc. Doing all this while 3 people are talking behind me, there's a group in the corner having another conversation, and my own brain is trying to think about something else it would rather be doing is exhausting. I think that destigmatising the way that autistic people naturally communicate (not making eye contact, fidgeting, talking in narratives or in excited bursts but then being nonverbal when upset) would be great, I know for me it would mean that I could finally exist and interact with the social world without constantly feeling like I have to 'put on a show' or hide who I actually am in order to make everyone else comfortable.
I’m very glad the stress with engaging in multiple people talking at once was addressed, because that is fully true for me. It’s hard to block sounds out when multiple people are talking, and it can get really stressful.
I’m like that at home lol. I want to move my desk because my son and husband have their desks in the same room and they refuse to use headphones. So I have to hear two different things while I’m trying to do what I need to do or listen to my own stuff and they just don’t understand how much it bothers me. I have headphones but they want to blast their stuff and not use headphones. I’m seriously considering moving my desk now thinking about it lol. Additionally, I often have earbuds in because it helps me hear my podcasts better and I can drown out exterior noise but it annoys my husband because I drown out exterior noise aka him. He doesn’t get that I’m just really sensitive to sound. He’s a musician/drummer. He just doesn’t understand.
@@marktwain368 - eh… easier said than done. There are just some situations when you’re networking for work where you really can’t do that. Especially when you’re surrounded by a bunch of people that are extroverted that don’t understand you can’t handle the noise. I just suck it up and go home and pass out due to exhaustion. Sometimes, you just have to deal with being uncomfortable in life to make sure you get the job, get stuff done, etc. It is, what it is.
IQ Buds 2 Max from Nuheara. They're in the process of changing my life. They let me focus on -just- the person in front of me; everything else is reduced to an undifferentiated mutter. I can actually spend time in bars, now!
When someone is trying to talk to me and all I can here is the people talking next to me I just want to explode inside. I can hear every word being said to me and the other conversation but I cannot process any of it.
My son is 9 and was recently confirmed to be on the specturm, this we've known as parents for some time and his teachers as well but it took forever to get a diagnosis because covid caused a massive backlog in the wait for assessments It genuinely amazes me to see how far we have come in our understanding of this because, while I have never been formally assessed I'm 99% sure that I am also on the spectrum however, being a child in the 80s/early 90s, means I was brushed aside as "slow" or "difficult"
Be grateful U learned n childhood @all & not n his 30s cuz “he just can’t get his act together!” So we’ll make it past despite all efforts 2 lie & critique science not even they understand. Anyways most successful divergents find their passions early & their talent shines through. See Michael Burry & other success stories!
Wow, I almost could have wrote this comment. My 8yo just received his medical diagnosis. We are still waiting on the completed paperwork in the mail. He actually got a provisional diagnosis at the age of 4 but was put on a very long waiting list, then covid happened. The provisional diagnosis did lead to his educational diagnosis though, as he was just labeled developmentally delayed in his preschool class. We had known since he was 2 though. When he wasn't meeting his word requirements, we asked his doc to go ahead and set up therapy. He was immediately approved for Speech and OT then PT about 6 months later. After all that we have learned about Autism (which I don't feel like will ever be enough), we are almost positive that my husband is on the spectrum also. He was born in the late 70s and I would say that he was pushed aside, like you mentioned but his mother had a unique approach, I have never heard of. When he failed, she moved his schooling. I think he said he changed schools 4 or more times and was just put into the next grade. It's bizarre sounding. I don't think he had quite the social awkwardness of my son but he insists that up until 3rd grade, he was just like our boy then something just clicked for him. Our son goes into 3rd next year and I can't see the same happening, though he made great strides this year, being his first year in Gen Ed (which idk if yall are experiencing that but if not yet, be aware it is HARD). So sorry about the novel long reply, its feels great to tell someone this stuff that might know what I mean!
My son is 8 and has Autism, he's perfect in my eyes. He received some speech and occupational therapy, but I refuse ABA. We homeschool so that I can help him to learn his way. He doesn't need to change. My only goal for him is to make sure that he has the happiest and easiest life that he can. He's an amazing little guy and I'd never want to "cure" him. We celebrate differences in my home and accommodate to the best of our abilities. I'm super thankful that my little guy loves cuddles though.
@lini I’m not trying to be or do anything special and I’m not asking for pats on the back. But I go above and beyond for my son to make sure he’s happy and fulfilled and living his best life. My kids are my Universe and honestly I think all kids should be treated this way and put first whether they are differently abled or not. From hospital stays, therapy sessions, switching the whole family to a gluten-free diet, singing him to sleep every night, nursing him till he was 4 and a half.. you don’t know my story but I do far beyond the bare minimum for my kids. I simply responded to the video which is my right to do. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone because I know my heart and I know that at the end of the day I do every single thing possible for my babies.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was young, back before the big overdiagnosing boom of the early 2000s that discredited a lot of cases and screwed things up for kids on the spectrum. When I was little, very little information was given out about it to teachers, and even the special ed teachers in my district were really poorly informed. I was mishandled and misjudged by everyone around me, from my parents to my teachers, to the rest of my family aside from my grandparents and a few of my aunts and uncles. As I grew, the narrative around Aspergers was changing, and it had not yet been added to the broader Autism spectrum. It was being decried as a fake diagnosis because of it being over diagnosed and so many false cases cropping up, so I received very little help in my early to mid-teens because i was deemed lazy, unmotivated, stupid. By my last year of high school I denied I had it at all and just accepted that I was dumb. I never went to college. I tried getting good jobs and failing because of extreme anxiety from burnout. It took years of failure till I looked into Aspergers again and caught up with all the development in research on it. I finally started to accept I had an issue that caused me to be easily misunderstood. Everyone in my life is still stuck in that mid 2000s narrative that it's fake. That I can "easily" change who I am, just because I've gotten good at masking. I receive no help. I receive no support. I'm called lazy. Unmotivated. Stupid. I hope one day more people come to understand what this condition is, so kids who grew up like me can receive proper help in getting this world figured out.
Yeah mate idk why u hating on 'overdiagnosing" when women are still 4x less likely to be diagnosed despite there being zero evidence as to the chances of having autism based on genetics
If it makes you feel better I have Asperger’s as well (now called high functioning autism) I’ve struggled a lot in life even if I am still young, with my PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and a few other things. I’m still suffering but the difference is now I’m actually getting help after dealing with this all my whole life (which isn’t long but it still hurts). I go to therapy now and I think it’s helping. So now people are actually getting more help due to a better understanding. People still suffer, yes. People always suffer. But I think it’s getting better.
it’s actually underdiagnosed to this day, as it was back in the 2000s. please don’t take your frustration out on other autistics, or allistic professionals that genuinely want to help us. wider allistic society was, and is, the problem
We live in a time when everything is both over and underdiagnosed at the same time. Everyone seems to be on the spectrum, but if that’s the case why diagnose anyone with anything specific? Just assign numbers to everyone. You are Autistic 8 (mostly functional) and that guy over there can be Autistic 3 (dysfunctional). This isn’t meant to be insulting, more that the reason the general public doesn’t consider these things as much of a problem is because this is how they see it, if everyone seems to be on the spectrum, then the spectrum doesn’t mean as much.
“Teemo, a young boy…” Me, an intellectual: *imagining a cute little yordle with a passive global taunt, a penchant for mushrooms, and a poison-dart blow gun*
Wish that was something we could change but it’s naive to think it CAN change. Yes I given up so I advise to learn to play the game of life even if it’s rigged against us.
autism is mis diagnosed as this fake "spectrum" in order to conceel the absolute tragedy of having a normal child , getting it vaccinated and watching your kid crumble into serious, painfull, debilitating mental illness! stop playng down REAL autism!
I'm 70 years old. Difficulty with personal relationships has always been my biggest challenge. People generally get along so well with one another it still makes me feel rejected even at the age of 70. Isolation seems to be my best option, but loneliness is depressing. For most of my life, there have been people who have tried to help. I could never consider them as friends, however. Rejection for being different was too much. My safe place was holding them off at arms length. A large number of people viewed that as arrogant. Meditation is something I've tried lately. Mindfulness rather than mindlessness as the book I had read on this says, makes a great deal of sense. There you have it. Good luck to all of you.
I feel a similar thing, though it's more to do with sentences. If someone says something, but then hangs on the last word that they're looking for, I try and finish it for them. Rude? Maybe. Helpful? Sometimes. Needed? For me, yes. It just feels...wrong, to leave that sentence hanging there.
@@remnantknight56 I have a friend with autism and I'm realizing as I'm reading your comment that he's been doing this exact same thing with me in conversations. I didn't get why he was doing it, but it didn't bother me (except on bad days where I treat everyone like shit then immediately regret it). I always though it's probably something autism related that I just don't understand yet. Thanks for sharing :)
Not sure if I am autistic (from the light part of the spectrum) but I can absolutely relate to everything that was said as example. Logic everywhere, overwhelming feeling from social interactions, set routine and unwillingness to "shake" your environment hits so strongly. I've overcome many of issues and that felt hard, I can only imagine the hardships with how difficult it might be when the situation is much, more severe.
I can relate to that especially with music. Yet I wouldn't self diagnose myself. I definitely am not a neurotypical person of some form. Especially since working 60hrs a week, I notice more how I could be on the spectrum somehow. Since the high stress environment makes it all more apparent. From the detailed self talk on specific music genres all day long to random outbursts of getting my behavior in order and keeping calm. Yet the deep thoughts of music/making songs all day in my mind makes me feel like I'm not even at work, just my body is. Idk I wouldn't self diagnose but I do feel your comment
4:21 This is the worst of all. Not being able to really connect to other people, not being able to create a real interest for them or what they do. The insane struggle to maintain even one friendship and the patience they need to have.
This video among other things makes me fairly certain I'm undiagnosed high functioning autism. Everyone else thought I was "smart, but a troublemaker" or "smart, but lazy." I would read a book a day in elementary school and obsessively read about certain topics which I memorize with minimal effort. But when it comes to math, I struggle really hard. I also cannot keep organized and would frequently do my homework but forget to bring it into school, which eventually lead to me ceasing homework altogether when teachers didn't believe I had done the work. I was also constantly in trouble even in later grades for not having pencils and other school supplies. I think with the proper support I could have been an A student, but instead I had very high test scores but a low gpa and grades in general. I suffer from the social issues as well. I've been training myself for years to look people in the eye but it just doesn't feel right. I find it difficult to join into conversation. I often wonder why people talk about certain things and how they don't see it as ridiculous. I often feel like I'd rather sit and listen and try to understand each person rather than take part in the conversation myself. Whenever I get to know people really well, this awkwardness goes away though, and I begin to make jokes and act a bit more like them, but it takes a long time to reach that point. As a kid I would get extremely overwhelmed and upset by a lot of group activities that included lots of yelling, laughing, getting excited and rowdy, singing. It all just frightened me and filled me with fear and made me unable to focus, and my response to fear is anger and aggression, or shutting down completely and refusing to speak. I was in boyscouts and was often yelled at for refusing to take part in such activities. When adults were yelling at me when I was already overwhelmed by the environment, all I could do was sit in silence and not respond, which would just anger them further. I was always just a grouch, a bad kid, no one realized I had sensory issues even though there were other children who were diagnosed as autistic around me. It's like because I didn't show obvious learning disabilities, no one recognized the symptoms and thought I was just a problematic child. I still suffer with many of these problems today, but I'm only 20 and I've been working through them on my own relatively well.
I heavily relate, as I, too, have undiagnosed high functioning autism. (Except I do well in math, and constantly remind myself to bring my homework, so straight A’s for me) Also, I can’t express how much socializing is hell, so I heavily relate to u there heavily, too. Also also, how much of your food preferences are based on texture? Even if a dish taste wise is good, texture for me kills my enjoyment of that dish immediately.
Oh gosh yeah. That would be great. Make therapy standardized like public education. Which probably means making it free which usually has some issues, but for this I feel its important enough its worth that compromise.
@@mihabrilj152 Did you receive a public education? If not, then private education can't be much better as you are unable to spell. Just because something is public doesn't make it shit. The design is what is likely at fault, not the fact that it is public.
@@jnightshade5728 I have gon to public education and i didn't take advatage of it a i should have. Thats my problem to deal with and i'll learn from professionals thro internet and as soon as posible in person. Im Slovenian by the way.
Many developed countries still don't get. There is an alarming number of people who still want to believe autism is the cause of vaccines and other such bullshit
Because I'm autistic: 1. I find the world very confusing 2. I think very literally and logically 3. I have trouble with understanding facial expressions 4. I have poor social skills (and I can't just “learn”) 5. I sometimes have trouble expressing my emotions 6. I can get very concerned about “little” things 7. I can't for the life of me take a hint 8. I get agitated easily and get more agitated when pushed 9. I know firearms inside and outside, forward and backwards, and upside down (I can put together a pump action shotgun like Forrest Gump putting together an M14) 10. I have basic common sense in a world that barely has any left
I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism when I was 14. It's been a constant struggle to work in and around my way of perceiving and experiencing the world. Something that was really frustrating about a late diagnosis was that I spent most of my formative years trying to fit as square shape in a round hole of everyday life. Even now I still grapple with a lot of insecurities, uncertainties, and everyday life things that I know my neurotypical associates don't really experience or think about. That said, it's not all bad and I don't mean to startle anyone into thinking that living with autism is terrible, it's not. Like the video said it's just different. I've spent the last few years, with the assistance of therapy, learning to process expressions and emotions. I've always been fascinated by body language ever since I found out about it as a way to communicate (I believe I was 21), so I read every book, and article I could on body language. Obviously, like spoken languages, how someone presents themselves physically is never going to be the same person to person, and even the texts I've read state "don't use this as a basis to compare ALL things. Just because someone doesn't look you in the eye doesn't mean they're necessarily lying. Or crossing arms/legs doesn't mean they're trying to close off." Even now I still struggle with audio input, as I'm typing this I'm focused on the clacking of my keys, the soft hum of my computer, the sound of the television on in another room. I hear it all, and as the video stated, it can be overwhelming. It's why, if I go out with friends, I'd prefer going to a quiet bar, or to see a show, so my mind can focus on one thing and one noise (unless someone has a cough, then I focus on the show and the cough). One of the best things to see in recent years, is how much more inclusive and understood Autism is becoming. I've gone from being afraid to have people know that I have autism, to being comfortable letting my wall down and to tell people "Just so you know, if my eyes wander, it's not that I've lost interest, I'm still listening and I'm still processing, but prolonged eye contact is very unsettling for me. I thank you for understanding" and the amount of understanding has vastly changed from when I was diagnosed 18 years ago. I fully support children/adults with autism seeking therapy to help to better understand and give them the tools to help interact better with other typical and atypical alike. Thank you for making this video.
I've been told that I am on the spectrum my entire life. I have never heard somebody so eloquently describe the experience of every day life for me. This an excellent portrayal of my personal experience.
3:14 This is why a lot of autistic people wear headphones, especially in crowds and loud events. It muffles the heightened noise we are perceiving and it's easier to function.Unfortunately, anything you do for yourself that looks atypical gets a social stigma, and there are people who try to shame you for it because "if other people dont need that, neither do you." Having an invisible disability can be pretty frustrating. I understand why people want to "normalize" things that get a bad reputation, but I think it would be ultimately better if neurotypicals made a bigger effort in being kind when they see something harmless that they dont understand.
I get so much shit from my family for always wearing headphones at the table because chewing and utensil noises drive me crazy. I don't even play anything in them.
My daughter wears her headphones nearly 24/7. It scares me that I won't always be there to protect her from the ignorance and harassment that she will be dealing with
My daughter has never been diagnosed, but she always had sensory issues with noise and smells. She is 20 now and has learned to adjust but it takes all her energy.
A lot of us wear earplugs too, it muffles the disturbing input. PS: The foam ones are crap, the yellow rubber ones with three sizing rings are awesome 👍
@@edwardfletcher7790 I've been thinking about trying those but she is 10 and has tiny earholes. Plus I'm not sure how she would deal with he feeling of it but maybe it'll work better!
High functioning is a myth, it's just a checklist of traits some people have and some don't. I have Aspergers and I find the term "high functioning" offensive as it belittles my struggles.
Yeah, I have "high functioning" Autism, because I have above average intelligence and (semi-decent) social skills, but I can't hold down a job or live independently due to my executive function and sensory difficulties. I think we should get rid of the labels "high functioning" and "low functioning" because every autistic person has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses.
Any suggestions on a different 'name'? My partner is autistic and the best we've heard was 'better at masking', as an alternative to 'high functioning'. This was in reference to so many autistic people needing to mask their true selves just to get through the day, or unfortunately through ABA "therapy". My partner doesn't really mask as he doesn't need to in his daily life, so the term doesn't really fit him, but it seemed to be more appropriate as he said those who are 'high functioning' are often just better at masking vs the 'low function'. We are both glad it is now considered a spectrum. Lol the other 'term' we came up with was just to call the person by their name, avoiding the whole 'high vs low functioning' idea, and view the person individually as someone who is autistic, and these are the things specific to them. Eg: This is John, he likes programing computers, feeling the wind in his hair while riding a bike. He doesn't like textured foods like banana's, and hates scented candles. When meeting John he prefers no handshakes, but might offer a fist bump if he feels like it, please let John initiate the fist bump. Personally I liked our 'just call them by their name' option, but doctors and researchers need terms, so any better terms you think they should use?
@@konysa3641 I believe the current official terminology is Support Levels 1, 2, and 3, for low support needs, moderate support needs, and high support needs. That said, some still aren't quite happy largely because autism isn't a simple 1-dimensional spectrum, but a full multidimensional rainbow where each autistic person has different degrees of each of the various autistic traits, and someone who's severely affected in one area may be almost unaffected in another, while someone else could have those two traits swapped in comparison. Neither is "more autistic" than the other, but the particular traits that are affected could affect how visible the overall condition is.
I remember a time where I wss sorts scared telling everyone that I am autistic in online spaces but as I got used to telling it, it just becomes less of a fright and more of something that you will to tell.
I too have autism and my family also loves me. Tho.... I don't love everyone in it and I can critical of their actions (if situations requires) Also finding friends / someone to trust isn't that simple for me, as I tent to be self centered and stays on the same boat longer than others (like that time when my ex-PS4 friends wanted to play other things than Overwatch and I feld "betrayed", so I bought Rainbow 6 out of spite and later trade it for something else)
One of the challenging things when having a form of autism is that everyone always talks about being tolerant and fair to people with disabilities. So you assume they are, behave normal, and suddenly everyone hates you for no reason. The actual reason is, that people are not tolerant and fair with social disabilities, only with specific, accepted, physical ones. There is also an additional problem here for people with autism: they do something entirely different than what they said they would. Imagine this like a game where you are supposed to reach a goal, but you are only allowed to walk on blue tiles. So you do walk to the goal on blue tiles as required, but then everybody agrees that you have lost. And they tell you it is because you haven't touched the blue tiles, and they are adamant about it. Only later you learn that when they said blue tiles they actually meant the yellow ones. So the next time you play the game you learned and walk on only yellow tiles. But again they tell you that you have lost, because this time the blue tiles are the green tiles. And for some reason that changes every time you play this game, and somehow everyone always magically knows which color is the current 'blue', except for you.
This was a HORRIBLE analogy. I have two boys on the spectrum. They're incredibly different from one another but your analogy fits neither- or perhaps none.
2:23-4:57 explains me so well it's spooky. In my 20s, I learned to emulate normal people and wore what I internally called "masks". I got very good at impersonating people and faking it enough to where I even dated, married, and held jobs. It's extremely tiring and painful to keep up and has probably contributed to my depression in my 40s. Now I found it harder to wear that normal mask, and have become very rude and brash. I no longer have that masking ability, though I sincerely wish I did.
Carl, your brief story is very impressive to me. I cannot imagine how it must be to try and function today in a world through your eyes. I find it amazing what you accomplished in this insane world this long and to make it into your 40's. I must ask, with the masks you trained yourself to wear, do you think it helped you to where you are now, and being unable to don the masks any longer, would you still do it just to continue living the way you did, or is there a freedom inherent in the lost masking ability?
Wow. Are you me? I'm a few years younger I suppose, but I also grew up when autism wasn't as well understood as it is now. My nephew is officially on the spectrum, and my sister says she sees SO MANY things he does that are red flags that I used to do. I always called it "putting on different faces" in different social situations... and my name is Carl too. Weird.
I was fortunate to be bullied heavily by those that didnt know me, but revered by those at did. Opened my young mind to understanding that most people are fickle and sheep. Allowed me to not force myself into a box that wasnt for me, to be myself and if that didnt fit with others, screw them. I ended up with small groups of friends, but as I was honest and never cruel, ended up with hundreds of acquaintances. Sorry you had to take the longer, harsher way around...but youre here now. Be whom you are, let friends, acquaintances and enemies sort themselves out.
Man, this video is almost really cool. As a person with high functioning autism, it feels inaccurate to label heightened senses of sound and touch as a “superpower”, even though the consequences are covered in the video. I believe that everything is a double-edged sword. The perception of high functioning autism of being intelligent can be problematic as well, because with associated labels comes with the expectation of being intelligent. This is why “Aspergers Syndrome” isn’t officially used anymore and not in the DSM-5. Another potentially problematic implication this video presents is that that therapy exists to make people neurotypical, rather than giving them tools to function in a neurotypical world. From my lifelong experiences of therapy (counseling, physical, occupational, & behavioral) it exists to help people improve, not strip people of their individuality or belittle neurodivergent people into falling into line. A lot of this video really hits home, but some important pieces really miss the mark, at least for me.
A major problem, not to sound like an asshole. Is when you are this intelligent. You see the world and how deeply flawed and courupted it really is. It's hard to find inner peace. But it's a journey I have been on lately.
I didn't get the feeling they portrayed it as a "superpower", they focused almost exclusively in the problems it causes. Personally, I have the heightened sense of hearing thing. I don't feel like I'm better at hearing things than others though, instead I just have a very hard time focusing on conversations in social settings, rendering me largely unable to converse in family gatherings and so. I can't just tune out all the rest of the noise to follow one conversation (or even multiple) like other people seem capable of doing. I don't have the tactile over-sensitivity thing, so I can't personally comment on it, but I have never heard an autist describe any sort of advantage from it. Instead it just makes certain aspects of everyday life harder, such as not being able to wear certain clothes because the material makes their skin go mad.
Imo we shouldn't since over celebrating things leads to glorification and then more opposition and hate, we should be just seen as normal people.. because we're just normal people.
Autistic people are just different people. Generally its better if we're all just less judgmental. The problem with "high functioning" autism is the fact that while humanity is generally willing to accommodate somebody with more extreme needs, everybody looks at you (the high functioning autistic) and expects you to conform and "be normal" Since you don't look like you're autistic, your autistic quirks get you ridiculed or fired from work, people are needlessly rude and offensive. I don't think that you should be given special privileges as an autistic. The problem is, and this is the biggest issue, is that nobody wants to hire you with these kinds of problems if they can't get a paycheck from uncle sam in exchange for it. I don't think disability pay is the way of the future for atypical people, it's much better for universality. A level of fairness in that distribution, why would my typical friends who can easily handle a job, be forced to work while I get a disability check and told to stay home because I'm unwanted in the workplace, OR be hired on so the company can pull incentive programs from the government for hiring me, giving me a lighter workload or a looser leash than my co-workers. We're all humans, and we should all be treated with respect by our fellow humans, and unfortunately that's just an autistic ideal, to believe we could ever actually achieve a world where nobody is left behind, even the lazy and the assholes deserve to live their lives.
I'm 57 and was diagnosed with autism in my early forties. I am considered high functioning because I am very independent and can do a lot of things on my own. However, I struggled with academic learning, and I still have some mild developmental disabilities, which requires that I remain in a supportive living environment. I will never be able to hold down a job or live on my own. I have enough trouble retaining information and remembering things, which is pretty shocking considering I can recall things that have happened in the past, and I can develop pretty accurate knowledge of my most favorite celebrities and interests. But as a female, because I tend to mask my autism to fit in to certain social situations, what I wish for more than anything is to be accepted for who I am and properly understood. Just because I am smart and knowledgeable about a lot of things, it doesn't mean I don't have autism, and it doesn't mean I don't struggle and don't have any developmental delays. I struggle every day. It's why I currently live in a supportive living group home. I love my life now. I receive behavirol and occupational therapy, sometimes I do art therapy, plus I swim, bowl, and get out into the community every week. My life is full and meaningful, and most important, I am happy and thriving. I wouldn't trade it in for anything in this world. Also, autism cannot be changed or cured. While therapy can benefit us in many ways, we will not benefit from it if we are not accepted as we are and not taught to embrace our autism and it's upsides. We have a lot to offer and teach the world, but we cannot thrive if we are misunderstood and forced to become something that we are not, and that is to be like everybody else, the so called typical people. ❤
these people who wrote this are heroes, I've struggled my entire life having no way to give and find my outlet and am the described personality of hyperactivity and order, it really turns your world on it's head. Nobody even knows I'm of the Spectrum or some can tell immediately because of how I articulate and handle my mannerism and character generally, therapy AND assurance delving into ans accepting such is BOTH good and needed in many situations I cannot even word how amazing this is finding others who truly understand and broaden the info on the spectrum
There are many of us , we should all get together ! .... oh no we can't because we can't socialise 😐In reality Autistic people in general communicate just fine amongst their own kind , just as NT's do their own . Embrace who you are knowing there are millions of us who when we cross paths get along just great 😊
A lot of people i know are hyperactive, i find myself also sometimes hyperactive. It could be good to use that trait in job or when you need to multitask, or train, or doing chores. More of a problem that i noticed with some people are attention deficiency, or more precisely trouble, disorder to focus at one task in front of you, that can be problematic. I also sometimes can't focus, so i need to physically tire myself to calm down so that i could focus on other important things.
@@milosstojanovic4623 lmao I wish, I can't even go to the store without throwing up or my spit getting thick from anxiety and my heart feeling stabbing pains at least 3 heavy times every week, being so afraid in believing everything in the world is luck and out if my hand that I could be asked by someone ANYONE "I'll get you what you need" "who hurt you ill make it better" you could swear you'd make something better if I gave more information and I cannot even get out a single word lmaoo this world aucks
@@hybrid6692 I'd say that too but I've given so many people so many chances been out there and seen it already just to be backstabbed and now I really am too scared to even put myself out there in general lmao not worth it anyways imo. but I'm proud some people have faith
@@Lu_Bu__ im sorry, you really need to talk to someone close about your problems. I dont have some heavy anxiety or anything similar, but it sometimes happens because of pressure of the world, and life, but control is very important. And if needed seeking professional help.
@phone acc why is being autistic “cool”? I genuinely don’t know what you mean like if you are serious or joking or if you mean something different. I am autistic so I could very well be missing your point. but autism isn’t some trend. I hate how it’s like some people want to be autistic or have anxiety and depression when they just don’t. And I’m not referring to your comment I’m just saying in general I hate when people treat it as a cool new thing as if people who really have it don’t suffer from it everyday. Having an illnesses isn’t “cool”. Sorry mini rant
the part where timo cant generalize things and that can make it difficult to learn because they constantly try to apply logic to it... i felt like my whole life has been answered. ive struggled like this and my mom constantly tells me im smart so i should be able to do this easily but its small things that just confuse me and if exact directions arent given, i panic because i dont know the whole picture. its like a puzzle. you are assembling a puzzle of a boat and the whole boat so far looks yellow. you assume the last piece will be yellow since the rest of the boat is yellow, but what if its not? what if its red? you just dont know. thats why its hard to generalize because i need the exact not just a summary. summaries leave open holes and those holes cause confusion later on.
Learning to let go and trying to do something without knowing the result will help. Part of the issue is that you might be afraid to fail/waste too much time but it’s best to work out those issues by trying and failing with small things when you’re young so that you have the practice for when you’re older. Don’t be afraid to mess it up. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong. It’s a learning process and by failing and doing things wrong, you will learn the process and you will learn how to figure out the process that works for you.
@@umiluv That is exactly what an Authistic Brain CANT do. It can get better at it, but, will never be as good at it as the Average Person. For some, even with MUCH work, it will stay more or less this way.
fucking hell, my adhd diagnosis explained a ton of things about myself but left a few questions unanswered. Now I see those last questions answered as well by ASD. That's a lot to discover abou yourself in one year.
As someone on the spectrum, I say you should do both provide therapy and celebrate who we are. Therapy can help us learn to understand people and ourselves, and celebrating who we are can keep us from feeling like outcasts and unwanted because we are different.
I'm high functioning and it drives me absolutely insane. I can physically feel a mental cloud distorting my reality and understanding. I appear to have in depth understanding and knowledge in subjects I'm interested in but really I still struggle to understand it in a way I can communicate it to others. I often think to myself that this disorder would have been advantageous in primitive and more simplistic times but the world is so complex now that really it's just impossible to ever integrate or have any chance. The western world seems to be moving in the direction of a more feeling orientated society which puts me at even more of a disadvantage. Truthfully I think there's no desire to integrate people like me into society because it's simply too costly to set up programs or provide proper treatment. It's similar to how veterans are treated when they can't cope with civilian life, it's just too big of an investment for governments to bother so they just throw them in the trash and many are homeless or take their lives. 80% of people on the autistic spectrum are unemployed for a reason, I'm one of them.
Hey mate, no hard feelings, but I just want to say: functioning labels are bullshit and they are deeply rooted in eugenics. (agree with the rest of your comment tho) I didn't know this in the beginning too, that's why I annoy everyone with my little lecture: like for example, what even is high functioning? it's not something you can easyly define. like if you would for example say that high functioning is someone who can do laundry - then alot of non autistic pempered man-babies who need their mom to know what clothes to buy would be considered "low functioning" even tho they might or might not have good paying high tier manager jobs... so would you call someone who can't even sew on a button or buy their own food high functioning, if they have a high tier manager job and earn alot of money? it also comes down to how we treat people who are unable to work: in capitalism you are just worth something if you can earn money. if you are burning down the rainforest, doesn't matter because you made millions! the thing is: you don't have to do anything to be valid as a human being. to be a person. also like you said: this world isn't built for us, therefore we don't even get the chance to do a "normal job". the ironic thing is: if capitalism would give a single fuck about us, we could bring alot of "value" to their system 🤷but yeah, we're just never "highly functioning" enough. so in essence "high functioning" and "low functioning" is capitalism dehumanizingly deviding us into the categories of "can do something usefull for society" and being kind of unworthy and a burden (which is bullshit!!!!!! but what capitalism does). You know who coined this kind of thinking? yeah right, the big bad German guy who started ww2. do you know who coined the word "asperger" which is sometimes synonymous with "high functioning"? yeah, right, a n*zi doctor who did take part in some of the warcrimes of the n*zis. hence why I stopped calling myself aspi and started just be like "yeah I am autistic and autism is a spectrum therefore everyone is different" you know back then the difference between "high functioning" and "low functioning" was litteraly the difference between life and death. the n*zi believe that there is worthy and unworthy life autisticandunapologetic.com/2018/04/21/hans-aspergers-crimes/ so idk, learning about all of this, calling someone "high functioning" feels more like them saying "I know you are not a fully worthy human, but you are still good enough to be exploited by capitalism, so I don't think you are so unworthy that you are completely useless". If you still see it differently, after what I explained here: cool, you do you mate. seriously. But I think most people who still call themselves however functioning just don't know about the implications yet.
@@CristalianaIvor and the disclaimer from your very uncredited source: "Thank you for visiting Autistic & Unapologetic. Please note that the views and opinions expressed on this site are from one person (me). I have done my very best to research every point I make (and then I have researched the research just to be extra careful). However, despite this dedicated determination for accuracy, I am only human and sadly that means I can never be 100% certain that what I write is error free. So yeah, make of that what you will, and I hope you enjoy what you see." There is noy a single source or citation in the article you linked to. It simple states a point an expects it to believed at face value. Very disingenuous tactics to use against autistic people.
My son is high functioning & I constantly work to help his social deficits less pronounced. I researched transitioned programs years ago & was so disappointed that there are almost none for males on the spectrum. I’m so sorry. 🙏🏽
Well said! It is a genetic disorder caused by DNA from more than one male being introduced into a female. When I was a kid, autism was 1 out of 1000's today it's almost everyone. The difference? Back then, women made a man use a condom or she got pregnant and usually married to the guy.
I have high-functioning autism, so I thank you for not putting everyone on the autism spectrum in a box. I also thank you for not treating us like vegetables, sociopaths, or robots. It’s nice to see people who understand that we’re human and that we’re all different.
very relatable. The hardest thing about autism is that you actually notice something but you don't know you think differently. Before i was diagnosed i didn't even think i had autism, but i always felt like i left in a world i wasn't belonging to. I also have adhd and sometimes both interfiere together, that's overwhelming. The hardest thing is feeling overwhelmed and not understood, because we love being different
one sentence that always amused me to hear growing up was "you live in your own little world" which was used quite a lot towards me i must admit as i had quite an imagination to say the least lol, but i found it amusing for a different reason and thats because we all perceive the world slightly differently thanks to our differing degrees of senses and how all that data is sifted and sorted once it gets into the ol' noggin, "normal" or "stereotypical" is just a high percentage of people that view things in a very similar fashion, not right nor wrong just similar, autism was something i was aware of without really knowing anything about tbh until i watched a couple of tv drama series called Atypical and The End of the F...ing World which highlights very very different aspects of the very broad spectrum, i really enjoyed this video from Sprouts which is informative without being demeaning or judgemental and hopefully more of these kinds of things will make it into the mainstream mindset and educate people further
This explains a lot of things very well. Just to put in my own two cents, something my mother told me often: "Just because it's obvious to you, doesn't mean it's obvious to everyone else." Something that I didn't understand at the time, but over the 40+ years of my life has become a sort of mantra to help me deal with people who simply don't perceive the world the same way I do.
I need to start doing this. I am getting far too frustrated with those around me being a bit behind the curve. Being behind a monitor and keyboard working from home for 2 years has masked it to the point I don't suppress the response anymore, and now that I'm back to the office... it's been a problem.
@@offensivearch this usually results in being questioned, and then having to explain your reasoning.. and them still not understanding, so having to explain it again, but differently... etc, until they finally by making 5 leaps of logic arrive at the same conclusion you lead with, only they now think it was their idea. I am learning to just let them have the credit, or even just sprinkling them with pieces of the idea until the lightbulb lights up. Leading with the obvious just takes longer in my experience, you need to prepare the ground first.
@@W1ldTangent Letting people have the credit / making them think it was their idea may be one of the best tools of persuasion that exists. I think you are right depending on the situation. In my experience, too often I let something that was obvious to me slip by unsaid because I assumed it was obvious to others. Sometimes it is better to just say it so it is out there. It may not be so obvious to them. But if you have the time, intention, and need to eventually get to what you are saying in a more effective way that can be a good idea sometimes. The worst thing is to let it slip by unsaid though, that is why if it is a choice between not saying it and just being direct I choose being direct.
''What do you think?'' I'm autistic with asperger, always have been, and it's been somewhat nice to finally have had medical and social attention to determine that
@Beatrix In Christ As someone with Autism, I can wholeheartedly say that treatment, while good at first, can actually hinder them. I was on medication when I was younger that destroyed my ability to socialise, destroyed my diet, made my hygiene practically nonexistent and even stifled my growth. I decided one day to pretend to take my tablets and had massive differences just a few weeks later. I also have ADHD, and the tablets affected both my autism and ADHD and essentially led to them both conflicting in the worst way possible. Once I went off the medication (Which my parents stopped prescribing me shortly after due to previously mentioned issues), I pulled a complete 180 and essentially got my life back. I was more social and willing to talk, my diet opened up from exclusively Peanut Butter sandwiches to anything and everything, my self-care (Hygiene and so forth) became more important to me than sitting on my butt doing nothing all day again, and I shot up a dozen shoe sizes and from a small to a large/extra large set of clothes in 2 years.
Therapy should be there to only help the child understand and get over society's fear of "different"... not to change it's personality. He/she is not less than normal. I would work more on that side.. of diseased society of labelling everything that is different from a "health perspective"...
The human animal dislike for things very similar to us but different slightly is a highly beneficial trait for the species. It helps in multiple areas including culling genetic abnormalities, protecting phenotypically recessive genes, improving cohesion within structured groups, and many other areas. Not having the ability to quickly encounter, categorize, and act on entirely new stimuli is a death sentence outside of ultra organized areas that humanity has created. The ability to tolerate and support those who fail to interact and thrive within their social group is a modern luxury. And we should never forget that that is true.
@@ColinTherac117 You mean to tell me... That people suffering from autism should be thankful for the society "helping them"? Thanking to the race that hold at a very high point inventive words as "abnormal", "handicapped", " slave"... Right...
The dude is talking that without our human minds capacity to organize in groups & categorize things, then genetic diseases, malformations & other problems would have destroyed humanity ages ago... We have these problems like racism, sexism & others because our society ecolves faster than our bodies.
@@LauraMarin2709 He was just speaking from a evolutionary viewpoint. For all living things (human beings included), anything that doesn't fit into the norm or exposes it to high mortality rate, would have very little chance to make it to adulthood or to propagate. That undesirable trait would naturally die out or be limited. But human beings, being of higher intelligence and greater self awareness, forms very complex societies and concepts of how we treat each other. In the old days, people who were "wired" differently would just have been treated as "mad", "not right up there", "eccentric", "possessed" - and would have been ostracized. Many might not even have made it to adulthood. There would have been little chance of them forming families and passing on their genes.
Its also important to note that children with autism will not show all of the typical effects of it. For example, I have heightened senses and a desire for logic, but I understand people very well [I'm pretty sure] and don't have OCD whatsoever. And, despite what Hollywood will tell you, I am not an amazing hacker despite being high functioning, but I do have other hobbies, such as writing and psychology. Don't let autism seem like something that will inhibit your ability to experience life and enjoy it. Even with how many people constantly hate on autism and treat it as a terrible thing, it will not end your life. Just alter some aspects of it and make things unique. Chase you dreams no matter what and be proud of who your are.
I’m an adult on the Autism Spectrum and even though certain things still present challenges for me, I feel like I’m doing quite well. I’m learning to tolerate noisy environments, when I’m attending parties or when I’m out with my friends. I live alone, but I’m still near my parents, and my sister and her family sometimes come to visit us and vice versa. I’ve been to college and I’ve done volunteer work. I’ve dated and I had a boyfriend. I became an aunt to a beautiful niece four years ago. I write fan fiction and I have Zoom meetings with friends. There’s so much that you can accomplish, even with a disability.
Autism Speaks is the devil. They have a very big hand in how it's portrayed to the public, and lobby for things like "cures" and abusive treatments, spreading the message that autism is a fate worse than death. For some, it might be. But it's not their right to decide.
Just give them the good ole fuck you! Gotta love yourself first and foremost, to hell with those you can't vibe with. You don't need such worthless company.
If there was a cure I'd take it. Why would I want to be like this? It has just made my life harder. "Superpower" indeed! Let's not mistreat autistic people but let's not glorify and coddle them as well.
We should combine treatment with acceptance. I'm autistic, and as a result, I will never be a very social person. I will never be okay with eye contact. I will never care about others liking me. And because of my autism, I will likely never care that I can't do these things, I'll never want to do them. And that's fine. It's not harming anyone. But I also have limited fine motor control, difficulty communicating emotions on top of very intense emotions, sensory problems and I need a routine, but don't know how to build one. Those symptoms are major obstacles and I should be getting help. Help should be available.
Yeah it's funny how important they say eye contact is. Yet the more i think about it, harder it is to do. So I don't think about it and let things play out naturally. 😁
Never say never. You can train yourself to do anything you want to. Re: eye contact...the eyes are the window to the "soul" in that eye tissue is actually brain tissue. When you're looking at someone's eyes, you're actually looking at their physical brain. Creepy, eh? 👀
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"Should we treat children with autism with therapy, or celebrate them for who they are?" -- A bit of a loaded question. How about giving them the help and tools they need to cope with an environment full of people who don't think or perceive things they way they do, without treating them as though they have a disease?
I mean, we should "celebrate"/appropriately treat autistic people for who they are, but we also need to be taught how to properly socially interact, so yeah, I'd agree.
Edited for clarity
Therapy programs def help, I can tell from experience.
so therapy then?
@@Iamlurking504 no.
We need more awareness
Atleast where I live
It's still treated like taboo in here
It's sad how often people with autism are misunderstood or misjudged. I remember back when I was 8 years old; my teacher told me that I was too dumb to ever go to a ‘normal’ school. The same teacher also took away my encyclopedia, saying that it was ‘too difficult’ for me and never gave it back. I have an above-average IQ... Having autism does NOT mean you're dumb!
I feel ya, years ago when I was in school, my teachers had me placed with "special ED" believing it's the best group for me. Yet, the teachers would always exaggerate about some things like "how I was fragile, so I can't go to PE" or "I can't go to spanish class because my mind can't handle it". I didn't like how they would never give me a chance to attend some classes and learn about the subjects and they would use my autism as a excuse that I cannot. Though the only good side of "Special ED" was that it taught me empathy for those students.
there was a student i went to school with from grades 4-12. he wore all the same colored clothing, didn't speak, never looked at anyone, but he was in the advanced classes like i was so i figured he was smart enough but didn't know what was wrong with him until recently. i got a peek into his intelligence in a creative writing summer class. he was a musical genius who could rewrite music in whole different ways. funny thing, when the teacher showed his work all our heads swiveled towards him in surprise. as he never spoke none of us could get to know him. it was in the 1960s.
I can relate with the special Ed thing. Being in special Ed caused me so much stress that I wanted to drop out of school. I was an A student, but my teachers continued to tell my parents I wasn't making enough progress, or really any at all in their minds. They said going into highschool they would put me in some of the higher classes. They didn't, and my parents were pissed. (I was like in 2 year classes, as a high honors student) So my parents changed my classes. Their last conversation was with probably my least favorite teacher ever. She said I had a 7th grade reading level, in 7th grade I got a certificate saying I had an 11th grade reading level back then. I left the special Ed program that year, and I don't think I ever panicked again at school. I still kinda want to punch that b*tch in the face.
I know the feeling. While never diagnosed my mom who’s a special education teacher always thought I was on the spectrum somewhere and as a kid I was terrified of a diagnosis.
It wasn’t that I was prejudiced against the people in the special needs program but I knew the social implications of the association. I was already being bullied at the time and suddenly being part of the program would have made people see me as unintelligent and an easier target.
While I can’t disagree with me being an easy target at the time I am not unintelligent but it’s only because of my friend group that I can even start saying that about myself now.
My friend who is diagnosed high functioning autistic said it this way “Ethan, I though I was high functioning but you are the highest functioning”
If you want IQ test stats I can give them but I really don’t want to appear like I’m gloating.
@@armadilloalien854 Yeah, I can relate. I was placed in a special class too. All I ever got were 8, 9, and 10s; I didn't even study at the time because it was so easy. But the school refused to let me study in a higher class for reasons that varied every time we asked. Eventually, I changed to a different school.
My mother told me that I was hyper focused on things ever since I was aware of my soroundings. In my early childhood I wasn't interested in people so much so that i didn't remember the names of most of my classmates. I didn't even know how to tie my shoues till i was 10. I turned out ok but I still don't understand flirting.
@@valeriarapp3542 lol true ,its an art to learn and i am not interested in it for now.
I'm not learning to flirting tho🤒
Literally me too lol
lol i'm 13, still have no idea how to tie shoes.
Flirting... is a complicated way of saying "i can't be that honest from first second.. regarding of what i want from you during our relationship, so i'm just gone pull this playing around thru all this painfully game thing called flirting". So... you don't need to fill up ur mind with "normal people" basic sh*t. I called this (flirting..lol) "the game of cowards". You lose nothing but time and energy with it.
I am a high functioning autistic teenager and autism is one of my special interests, I research it for hours at a time, I think that autistic people should be taught how to understand allistic people but not be changed in such a way where they hide their true selves.
Same im a high functioning autistic teen and i agree
At what age you started to talk? Those neurologists told me I had Asperger’s/adhd.
@@Sdoddi I had no trouble with language and I was able to speak a bit before I was supposed to, I don’t like talking when I’m overstimulated or when it isn’t necessary
So do we 😔 we go through so much with our son but still manage to make the best of life with our kids 🙏🏻
It would also be good for non autistic people to make more of an effort when communicating with those who are autistic.
It's so interesting bc a lot of the "stereotypical" signs of Autism are displayed here, but individuals with Autism are soo different! For example, my brother has Autism and he is unable to talk, but he is the most affectionate, kind, funny, outstandingly intelligent individual who loves to be around others and go to family parties - so everyone is very different!
Kennst du das Buch "In mir ist es laut und bunt"? Sehr zu empfehlen!
@Alex Mit
Fact & true
I know! Some people don't even have typical autistic issues but yes, it's a spectrum for a reason.
I myself am a mix of high functioning and middle of the spectrum i can be very intelligent but don’t use it for much never straying much from what I know however i am actually skilled at games like destiny 2 cause when it’s something I enjoy and it presents a challenge i an easily able to come up with strategies on the fly and easily adapt to patterns in destiny 2 bosses or encounters but i have a bad speech problem and tend to stutter and get caught up on my words
Yupp, Autism are different frome person to person
Like finger prints no one are the same
I am a 20 year old female recently diagnosed with autism (high functioning Asperger's, so as a girl especially, it went unnoticed - only the effects were clear - I'm easily stressed, have social anxiety and experienced repeated bouts of depression/ suicidal thoughts throughout my teenage years). I think what we really need is therapy, to help us cope. Especially people diagnosed as adults would benefit from this, because we lived our whole lives with certain perceptions of ourselves as a result of not realising we have neurodiverse brains. I'm currently at a top university studying a STEM subject, which took no small amount of effort and self-imposed social isolation to achieve. It's difficult to feel like all I can be proud of is my achievements, because I'm a social car crash...
Thanks for sharing your perspective 🙏 Good luck 🍀
Umm she said that it was diagnosed Autism? So unless your the therapist that diagnosed her then it would be a great idea to stop assuming things.
@Wild4lon It's okay, if you are not as social. Just leave others think what they want.
same story as you,it feels like one smashed up life.If a special needs or autistic male had issues they were sheltered ,supported and protected sometimes I´ve been treated like crap because I was also autistic but I was treated as a difficult child ,manipulative and even the R-word,I was screamed at had my arm squeezed and grabbed hard,i´ve had physical punishments been called everything under the sun ,told that I wasn´t making an efford mocked by adults and kids alike,excluded and always told that it was my own fault...because I´m female,i had so many really bad meltdown when i was at nursery that some parents stormed in and demanded that the r-word child was removed because they don´t belong with normal kids like their son.i keep having painful flashbacks that trigger meltdown and shutdowns,i forced myself to eat today as i know that i might not be able to if i get any worse..i also got my diagnosis early this year,and it is a relief to have something make sense and be validated-now i´m a dysfunctional adult with no way of living like an independant adult,and there is no support,i have no choices in life,can´t have a job,education,social life...nothing...i keep facing homelessness and hunger situations because i just don´t have the abilities and skills,i´ve had a lot of birthdays and my intelligence on paper looks fancy ,but irl i´m still just a vulnerable child.
I wish i could say something to make you feel better. You are worth it in every way, I am sorry if you have to deal with autism.
You can’t make an autistic person BE neurotypical with therapy…you can only make them LOOK neurotypical, which is called masking…which is mentally EXHAUSTING. It’s also not a matter of celebrating our differences…just accept them. In fact, we could just accept that even neurotypical people have differences too while we’re at it and just not expect everyone has a neat little spot where they’ll fit into the corporate grinder to be used and abused. People are not commodities, we are individuals, and we should be appreciated as such.
As an autistic person, I’d say both for sure. Overcoming social situations has been tough but I’m far better and more comfortable than I have been in years. Teaching them social cues and maintaining their way of thinking is crucial. Do this without treating them as an idiot please
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
how did u learn social skills tho?
What comment section did I fucking stumble upon?
Bot chain
Once I was diagnosed with Asbergers, I finally became aware of how little emotion I can express or even feel. In part it’s because I just became indifferent to bullying as a kid since it was better than blowing up, but I don’t even cry at funerals for people my family was close to. And it’s funny how I feel more of an emotional connection with fictional characters than actual people. I see every character on the screen or page regardless of their role as an actual person in a different reality so I can empathize with them even deeper, but it’s so weird how I can cry over the death of a drawing but have trouble knowing how to properly express my sympathy in the real world.
I have a husband and son with Aspergers, and another son with Autism (high functioning). The first two frequently butt heads, while the third is trying to keep things quiet. It's an interesting life. Most of the time, it is great. I also have 2 girls, the youngest one with Downs. The other annoys Aspergers brother with her singing. It isn't that she has a bad voice. She is a wonderful singer, but her brother doesn't like a lot of singing. My family don't understand my husband(with the exception of my mother) but I love my growing imperfect family.
I am autistic. I don't express emotion readily, but this is because I often get overwhelmed by my empathy for anyone who is upset or suffering. I haven't cried at funerals of loved ones, because they are just public rituals that have no real connection to my relationship with the deceased person. I cry in private.
some experiences don't translate well. i get that. just because you do one thing in one situation doesn't mean you know how to apply it in another. context is. honestly paramount in such situations. but honestly shit about to get real soon, you best figure out how these neurotypicals operate cause you're stuck with them unfortunately.
>Current event: Funeral
>Soicially acceptable behavior: Sadness/Mourning
>Display emotion: Sadness
>Warning: System overload
>Error: Emotions malfunction
>Process failed, cannot reset
Im glad to know im not alone with this. I can even develop emotional crushes or flat out fall in love with chars in a tv show movie vidio game ect but not be attracted at all to a physical person….
The point of therapy should be to give tools for people with ASD to navigate the world better as opposed to changing them
Too many people don't realise this.
Therapy is something that, if the means we're available, everyone should have on a regular basis
@@conorandethan Yes, even neurotypical people, everyone benefits from therapy.
A healthy psyque should be a priority.
@@conorandethan I know people that have gone down bad roads because of bad advice. Therapists are humans and really people should prize being autonomous individuals more.
@@MicahMicahel yes being humans there is the risk of human error, as with any medical intervention.
The goal of therapy isn't to be dependent but to become more confident being autonomous, overcome personal challenge and express thoughts and emotions you couldn't otherwise talk about with your regular people around you.
Therapy can take different forms but the goal is always to help you be able to help yourself.
Take it from someone with a degree in clinical psychology.
@@MicahMicahel i've been misdiagnosed for 25 years, now finally they re-tested me, and the results are just what I've been saying to the professionals for years.
My life could have been so much better if the 'professionals' where willing to see beyond their blocked off treatment section (in my case they told me I have ADHD for ~25 years).
My life is wasted at this point.
I'm autistic. Yup, going to an event where there were a lot of people talking at one time was torture! Even with my noise reducing headphones I could still hear them shouting.
What's your ideal event to attend? Or none at all is best ?
I remember when I was around 9 to 10 that I went to a big event, and I think that the noise just began to overwhelm me. I just zipped my coat over my head and retreated there to play my DS, if only to distract me. Admittedly, I wasn't in the best of moods that day, but the noise just added to it. I'm not as sensitive to noise now, but that might just be because I don't have to deal with large groups or parties as often as I used to.
My ADHD keeps me from experiencing this aspect of autism because I just don't pay attention
As one with aspergers, I avoid going to any large catherings of people. The one time I went to a disco, it caused me a massive migraine to the point of basically having a hangover without alcohol. Plus any event that has a dressing code is something I don't wanna be in at all.
@Max Powers lol
My son has autism. Hyper imbalanced atypical traits across the spectrum. We weren't allowed sleep the 1st 4 years. He was years late with speech. We had to guess then respect every single pattern he created for himself to cope with everything. We've had tons of help that didn't help. Some even said things like "well, I guess you guys'll have to suffer and hope it'll get better". So eventually my wife gave up trying conventional help and let me do my thing, when previously I wasn't allowed and this dualism in how we saw we needed to approach the problem, caused a near break between us, so I relented until this moment where she gave up. What I ended up doing with my son is via meditative listening in the forest near our home, make him stop hearing everything individually but since he couldn't filter out any, make him "see" it as a classical concert (and later jazz as he grew up). Once this mechanism was automated within ... We've been blessed with a good sleeper, a superb learner and a sweet kid able to cope with the world almost as if he was typical. He's still quirky and can make my blood boil but ... that's (as he says it) all part of the concert.
Thanks 🙏 This is so wonderful ❤️
This makes my week!
@@sprouts wasn't sure if I should share it, as this is internet after all haha. But if this helps even a single parent, sibling or friend of someone with autism... it's worth it.
Exactly. That’s why I now also pinned it, even if I loose my pin asking people to check patreon.com/sprouts - your comment is much more important
@@sprouts thank you.
I grew up during a time before autism was properly diagnosed, so because i was a quiet lone child at school teachers and my mother would force me to hang around with other children in an attempt to make friends, i hated every minute of it but i did learn to fit in, i might not properly understand every social situation but i can pass by without being recognizably different.
Basically what I'm saying is be patient with the autistic but don't walk on egg shells around us, we know when we're being patronized
#Facts
Some of my favorite moments has been with others forced to adopt this mentality. Sharing a second that lasts an eternity just to express without words, "I see you for who you are and love you all the more for it". Interactions utterly unique for the world around it.
@@lj516 ur an 😇
truth. With me (I'm 30) nobody ever said anything, except for relatively recently where a job advisor with ASD suspected me to have it. I just know I was "different". But I always saw autism as this thing either geniuses or extremely limited people had and I am neither. So it didn't really cross my mind.
You hated it, but it worked. Man that's half my childhood, lol. I hated chopping wood for charcoal, but by the time I was in high school my arms were tree trunks. The girls like that :)
I have two autistic siblings and was very surprised when a lot of their behavior and their way of thinking was showcased here. Really helped me understand them better.
How old are they and how much do they communicate with you verbally?
good for you! it’s wonderful you took time to learn about your siblings. :)
it helped me understand myself better, i never looked into it and my family never talked about it with me, it’s crazy that some of these things were spot on with how i have felt and currently feel, i’m the only one out of my family that doesn’t like the beach because of the salt water and feeling of the sand 😂
The parents fucked them up with vaxxines.
If you would like to learn more from an autistic adult with two autistic siblings of my own, please let me know! I really enjoy getting to share my experiences, especially if it helps other people. So please feel free to ask me questions!
(Same goes for anyone else who sees this and wants to ask things. Reply here or message me!)
We should do both, treat and accept. The autistic mind (itself very diverse) has a great deal to contribute to the world. But at the same time, the reality is to contribute, not to mention be happy, most will need some training and special support. I am on the spectrum mildly enough that I wasn't diagnosed until my 50s. In my childhood there just wasn't any recognition of mild forms. I had a lot of therapy over a lifetime that was aimed at the wrong problem.
I definitely agree. I think therapy to help, particularly children, understand why emotional cues are important and how to recognize/give them will be helpful, particularly if it is only offered as a tool for them to use and not as a thing they have to do. Just like we help people with dyslexia navigate a very text and number heavy world, I think helping people with autism have tools that they might have a really hard time developing on their own is just as good as raising awareness in other people about autism.
treat them for what exactly? how to not make normies uncomfortable?
@@Meleeman011 treat to find peace of mind for ourselves (I'm autistic), to not be overloaded all the time. It's not about treating yourself for others. It's treating yourself for yourself. I don't care about fitting in and I don't want that - if something that I got as I got older (34 now) is that I'm more and more "me" than ever, without worrying about the neurotypical society. But, I have to do therapy, to help me deal with neurotypical annoyances, for example, forced pointless meetings, call center calls, how to avoid/skip chit chat, etc.
@@Meleeman011 Treat us so that we may not feel as exhausted. Treat us so we can sleep. Treat us so we can avoid side issues like anxiety and depression. Treat us so we can finish school. Treat us so we can work. Treat us so we don't feel like aliens. You say "treat them," so I don't know if you have Autism or not, but a lot of struggle with mental exhaustion and a whole range of problems.
I wish I would have been diagnosed with Asperger's as a girl, and that I had gotten treatment. Not to help me fit in, because I fit in just fine, but to help me understand the world, myself and teach me how to discover and solve my mental barriers. My parents would have gotten professional guidance in how to help their little kid handle the world. Like telling them about food taste problems, sensitivity to sounds and smell, and even tricks like turning the pajamas seams outwards so I could sleep better. Teaching them to keep an eye out for obsessive behavior like hand washing so I could avoid skin problems.
Maybe I wouldn't have developed anxiety and depression. Who knows? But it would have made my life and the life of my family a whole lot easier.
treat????? are you serious? it has genetic roots and is a difference, not a disease. Woud you treat black people for being black or homosexual for being as they are?
“We are different, not less.”
- Temple Grandin
Well said. Thank you.
yeah having different abilities does not mean you are stupider than others
I never thought we would bring a child into the world with challenges we did not understand until her 20s. It is heart breaking to think we could have supported her if this was talked about and understood better. My wife suffers from depression and anxiety, my oldest daughter with anxiety and BPD, but autism, in our youngest's case, is more subtle and we never knew how it was affecting her - her challenges remain huge and something we work to support her with - more information, support and resources are critical. Thank you for your work
Uh you should stop treating this like some disease. It's not
as some with autism pls don't treat it is a disease it only make things worse we just want to be treated as human too that my only advice
@@ultrazappergaming5222 It's not a disease, but for many of us it's a disability. Don't minimize the problem so many of us suffer from. I say that as someone with Autism who dropped out of mandatory school and has never been able to work a day in my 38 years on this planet. It's not a disease, but it is a condition that has caused me an eating disorder, severe anxiety, sleep disorder, and chronic depression. I've been closed to ending my life several times these last 20+ years.
This man says that his adult daughter's challenges are huge and that her family accepts her for who she is and are trying to support her, and he got two negative replies that generalize her problems and insinuate that he's treating her poorly. You're not helping, you're hurting.
@@JWildberry brother nvr said that he's treating her poorly it was advice to make her feel human and not disease because there are parent who do that which sad in it own right im fully aware the problems raising a child of autism might feel like but I still believe that we should not be treated as a.... problem child. Thats what I meant to say im sry if comes off differently.
Edit: made some grammar fixes to my first comment
Autistic people are advanced thinkers. Celebrate them, don't stigmatize them. All they want is to be accepted how they are and not isolated for who they are.
As a "high-functioning autistic", I feel this is a very good way of quantifying the differences between neurotypicals and neurodivergents without getting caught up in nuances or irrelevant information. I was very pleased with the way autistic minds are represented, while also making sure to acknowledge the inherent diversity within the spectrum.
@hakuna matata Sooo you're telling me that if I just learn to adapt better and think happy thoughts, I will magically NOT have sensory overload and curl up in a ball on the ground clawing at my arms because my brain is getting overwhelmed by too much noise thanks to the structural difference in my brain that prevents me from processing sensory input in a normal way. Makes sense! Thank you for your oh-so-enlightening advice. The only one with "emotional fluff" here is you, my friend. :) Happy thoughts do not make disabilities disappear.
@hakuna matata
Really? All I need to do is adapt in order to be in the same physical space as perfume? What, like, think my sensitive nose away?
You troll
@hakuna matata What are you, a postmodernist? have fun disproving categories you don't like i guess
The neurologist that diagnosed me (I went in because I basically knew I was on the autism spectrum, I’m 15) and he described it as (more or less):
“Imagine your brain has to connect 2 city’s, someone that doesn’t have asd would make straight easy roads between, while people with asd would make odd shaped highways from one to another. Sometimes the odd ones are faster than the straight ones, sometimes they are not.”
This stuck with me and helps explain it really well.
Im on the same part of the spectrum but i dont think i autistic personally
As a 71 year old on the spectrum I know that I would have benefited greatly from a diagnosis and therapy when young. I don't need to be "cured" but I still have asocial traits, anxiety and a resulting life long depression. I knew I was different. I was treated as though I was "wrong". Finding out that I am on the spectrum was a bit late at age 65.
Ditto me, at 61.
' Anti - social behavior is a trait of intelligence in a world full of conformists .' ~ Tesla
By the way , I myself am diagnosed with Asperger at 49 years old , now 61 and more self conscious than ever before....
Read John 3:16 🙏
@ Bruce Thistlethwaite: I was 57, Bruce.
Wow, I hope your life gets better honestly!
As an autistic myself, I can say all of this is very accurate. I'm diagnosed as an high functioning autistic with an IQ at about 130.
I have a difficult time socializing with others, reading emotions and social cues. I especially have major difficulty understanding if someone is being sarcastic, lying, or joking. Because of this I never had any friends in school.
I actually got so used to this that when ever someone tries to start a conversation with me and try to get to know me, I'm privately very suspicious about what that person wants. I also like to spend a majority of my time by myself and stay in my room, only coming out if called, use the bathroom, or eat.
I live in Alabama, a very conservative part of the US so people I interact with have no idea or are not well informed on what autism is, so people just thought I was some weird quiet kid. Things were really bad in middle school because of that and I was bullied constantly to a point that I was suicidal and had to be homeschooled for a year. I was shoved into lockers, harrased, ridiculed, and ostracized. I still remember having to sit alone in the school lunchroom because of my terrible social skills. I had a better time socializing with my pet cat and imaginary characters than an actual human being.
I enjoy focusing on the tiniest details and aspects on my favorite topics, which are history and art for me. I like hyperfixating on things such as vexillology, the study of flags, maps, history (mostly WW2 and Civil War history, bit I also enjoy other historical topics), and ect. I usually don't do with others because I'm afraid that I'll be seen as annoying and be further ostracized. Not many people my age are into the things I enjoy.
I also tend to see the world in a more logical and reasonable perspective. I appear on the outside as neutral and unemotional, but my mind is very much active and emotional. I just have difficulty showing it. Because of my tendency to see the world in a more logical way, I'm not much of a religious person and identify as an atheist. But I usually keep that to myself considering where I live. Alabama is very conservative and my neighbors, coworkers, and family members tend to look down on that sort of belief. But I also understand why other people are religious and the importance of religion. I'll respect their opinions and beliefs as long as they respect mine. I have no quarrel with people who have different opinions.
My mom is the only person I feel comfortable around and feel safe to be myself. She was very patient, caring, and loving. She also raised me to be more and has made me the person I am now. It's thanks to her efforts that I can hold a job, drive a car, currently be in college, and many other things the doctors who diagnosed me said I'd never achieve.
My step father also helped me become who I am. He taught me how to ride a bike, introduced me to several things that I now enjoy such as video games, historical reenactments, etc.
All I'm trying to say is that autism isn't a disease for a disability, it's a personality and all I and my fellow autistic brothers and sisters want is to be treated like a regular human being. We don't want anyones sympathies or hand outs, we just want to feel included and valued in society.
Also, I need to remind everyone that autism is a spectrum disorder, and autism varies from person to person. Not all autistic people are like Sheldon Cooper or Shane Murphy.
No better Autism-Coverage then Hbomberguy and Laila Paige. I hope this helps Someone.
Yeah I agree with your opinion, misinformed people often associate autism with a disability... but in most cases its just a different way to be, as showed in the video. im diagnosed with autism aswell and socializing is quite challenging for me, to the point i cannot make any friends. I also get really tired while making eye contact, so i avoid looking at people directly for too much time.
Many autism behaviours do not suit me, but that doesnt mean im not on the spectre...
@@leon_.03 agreed friend
You're not alone friend 😁
This sounds so much the same for me! The thing is that I do have friends (luckily!). It makes me a bit sad when someone doesn’t have friends :/
The worst part of ASD in my experience is:
-being alone and because of that quite misrable, having a hard time making contact and maintaining those contacts.
-getting out of you comfortzone is energy draining, the stress it generates, trying to predict every possible scenario cuz I'm scared of the unknown.
i wish i were 'normal'.
My daughter struggles with this, but she has online friends that she associates with in common interests and i think this helps her cope. She started taking college courses and started out with just a few so as not to be overwhelmed. Next we'll add a job, part time if needed. She has also asked for therapy to help equip her with better skills at dealing with her anxiety. Just know you aren't alone and try reaching out for some help. It is difficult to do this but start online by looking up local resources. Also social workers are very good counselors it doesn't need to be a psychologist or psychiatrist and they arent ridiculously expensive. Your state or city will also have community assistance programs who could help refer you to people who could help. Churches are also VERY good places to go for a sense of community. You can go to their services, speak with their ministers, pastors, whatever, ask them if they have a volunteer program where you could fit in, be honest and explain what you need and why, believe me, people DO care, and it will give you a purpose and social interaction with people. Even if you aren't necessarily religious. Which we aren't! Please don't shut down. You are a unique person, there is only one of you. People on the spectrum have such an interesting way of seeing the world, and there is nothing wrong with that. Please love yourself, others will too.
I have autism, and I understand.
The trying to predict every scenario got me, especially when trying to drive. I always felt overwhelmed when behind the wheel, as I tried to predict where everyone would be. I felt like I had too much surface area to account for, so I devised an alternate solution: reduce the surface area. So I got a motorcycle, and took a course to learn to ride. I went out on the street and got used to being around other cars, how they acted. It was an awesome new experience. After that, I was able to get a car license as a well as a motorcycle endorsement automatically because I took the course.
You know, I used to think I was normal, and everyone else was weird. Normal is overrated. I'd rather stand out, than be another copy. I'm glad you stand out, too.
Normality is subjective.
But that's normal for basically anyone. "Normal" people just haven't known what it's like to feel alone and distanced from society. Ignorant and inexperienced with that part of life they are.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I often wonder how my granddaughter is feeling and this helps me emencely, She is my heart and you are really brave to share, God Bless, from Grandma
Having been diagnosed over 30 years ago and no one then understanding, I found myself very emotional watching this video. Very well done.
Same
Don't lie to yourself, we all don't like human interaction but normal ppl don't act special or hide behind some (disease) to avoid it lol
@VaderxG yep just like everyone can get anxious but therese people diagnosed with generalized anxiety or other types where they can’t function well as others due to their anxiety so it’s to their own that’s why it’s a SPECTRUM
@@0transcendence971 I guess those people who do like human interaction more then others are also lying to themselves.
Autism is not a disease, Diseases CAN have Cures. Autism is not curable and is not a thing that needs fixing
me to...... me to....
As an ASD person, I wish I had received both a diagnosis and appropriate therapy early in life as that may have spared me much grief and poor life choices.
Same with me. When we found out we realised that so many of the signs were there and it explained a lot about my personality. Knowing how to properly cope with that would have been easier. I hope that you're better now, though, as I am.
You are lucky. I had supposings in early age, but doctor said that i am only shy (i know that only from story from parents, because i was 3 years old). But after failed suicide i was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Sometimes i think it was too late.
@@wk835 suicide attempts are part of my life story as well it was still a significant amount of time after my last one 20-ish years ago that I was finally diagnosed, evidently I masked too well.
Therapy doesn't mean trying to change the kid to fit in 🙄 it's about giving them the tools to work through their difficulties and manage their emotions, communicate better and ultimately experience more happiness.
It's definitely visible how happy a kid is when they learn certain skills and work through situations that were once overwhelming.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
There are many autism “therapies” or therapy goals that are absolutely about fitting in rather than the wellbeing of the therapy recipient. It’s the whole basis of ABA - to make us “indistinguishable.” Because a suicidal autistic bothers neurotypicals less than an autistic who rocks and makes noises in public.
Whilst I only have ADHD, I did enjoy this video. We should stop forcing everyone to be normal, even when they can't. It's better to help people with these kinds of disabilities *without* treating them as if they are abnormal and plagued.
I have perceived ADHD and autism as a bit of polar opposites. One cherishes order and method, the other seems messy, spontaneous and whatnot. Would you agree with this perception?
@@hansmuller1625 as with ASD, I can see this.
@@hansmuller1625 i have BOTH adhd and Asperger's syndrome
@@hansmuller1625 there's actually quite a lot of overlap between ADHD and Autism, to the point that many people who are autistic also have ADHD. I believe ADHD is the most common coexisting disorder for autistic people. So there are a lot of similar experiences shared by people who have either condition
We should completely stop vaccinating..
I wish people understood Autism. I think the education system should teach understanding as part of the school curriculum.
@@nodak81 I'd say there is a give and take. Autistic people need the space to get away from certain stimulus and may require special conditions like any other disability. Also, like any other disability, the ones not suffering should have a baseline understanding of it and make some accommodations. You wouldn't just tell person with a missing leg that it's up to them to learn to walk. Granted they will have to learn to adapt to this missing leg and get around, but people will need to make some changes to help the person out to some extent. People with Autism will not just learn to be normal. They will learn to adapt to an extent and many have, but will be better suited and more productive in their environment when their special needs are met.
@@nodak81 You have got to be kidding?! Which Autistic people do you know that asked to be born with Autism? Autistic people fight EVERY FREAKING DAY of their lives to fit into `our' society. My 8 year old son included. He is constantly in `class' about what is socially acceptable or appropriate. Even when he is just enjoying himself by learning people's birth years so he can tell them how old they are and satisfy his numbers craving, he has to try to remember things like some women might not want to tell their age or it's not numbers time right now because we are doing Grammer or this person was already in a conversation with someone else, none of which he heard because he was focused on numbers. How dare you suggest that it is up to individuals with Autism to learn our rules, when that is something they will have to do their entire lives while people without Autism would only need some brief education to try to understand even just a little. I would hope once people get that brief education, they would care enough to learn a bit further but comments like yours shows me that some people will never even care enough to get the 1st bit of education. I guess that's why we still have bullies.
@@chiheart1980 I understand that this is concerning your son, and to you he means more than anything, but please, turn down the zeal if you can. Understanding will never win out if not. Insulting them feels good in the short term, but that just galvanizes those against us even more. It’s opportunistic.
@@nodak81 I don’t agree with you, on the basis that we’re already being taught how to fit in, and we’ve always been taught this. When we obviously can’t fit in because of our sensitivities aren’t accommodated for and we’re alienated because nobody understands us, society digs its heels in and blames us as individuals for a problem that is systemic. We have been trying to fit in since the dawn of civilization, and regardless of how hard we try, it hasn’t worked. We need a different solution; one that works for all of us, preferably.
@@gliiitched I see what you are saying and I apologize for doing anything that widens the gap between intolerance and understanding. This is a learning experience for my family. My 1st instinct is to jump to the defense when I see or hear inexperienced remarks on Autism or ADHD. I can't speak of personal experience on what the world looks like from my autistic son's eyes. I can only speak of the feelings and experiences that I have watching him navigate day to day life. I can understand what my severely ADHD son is going through though because I see myself as a child, struggling to understand why I was so different than my friends. Mine was untreated and I always felt so different. I would be all over the place, then later burn with shame that I couldn't seem to control that behavior. Because of understanding my middle son so well and remembering my own struggles, I jump to defend my boys because they both work so hard at life in such different ways. It's a Mama Bear thing. My youngest is about to enter the grades where other kids become very mean so it may be some years before I can actually turn that down. I can certainly work on it though.
After working with children having ASD for over 40 years, I must say that this is a very generalized overview of ASD. The spectrum is HUGE and goes from highly functioning "genius-savants" all the way to nonverbal, delayed, self-injurious, totally dependent individuals. It is truly unfair to say simply, accept them the "way they are," without considering those who have severe difficulty coping with life due to the "way they are." Those who need help with communication, socialization, activities of daily living, even simple self-care like brushing teeth and bathrooming, should be tended to, taught and cared for with compassion, and practical training. I've noticed that as ASD has become more recognized in recent years, people tend to think of those mildly or moderately affected with this condition. My sibling who had ASD needed constant care, training and attention without which he would have never had the quality of life he deserved.
"Accept and accommodate" should be the general rule for all interactions with people who are neurodivergent, but sadly not everyone thinks so.
Totally agree with this post. My son is at the lower end of functioning with ADLs, speech and cognition and has hyposensitivity, not hypersensitivity. These generalisations minimise the extent of support some people need. My son interacts with adults and climbs all over them, but completely ignores other children. He will eat all sorts of colourful foods with textures. It makes me wonder if these are two different disorders with overlapping symptoms.
"I must say that this is a very generalized overview of ASD"
Of course it is. What else would you expect from a seven minute long video?
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
The way you describe the autism spectrum is incredibly harmful to us. There are plenty of autistic geniuses who require assistance with day-to-day living, and there are plenty of autistics with learning disabilities who live and work completely independently. I cannot begin to tell you how many of the problems in my life and my son’s life (and our autism presents very differently from each other) can be summed up as, “Non-autistics seeing us as a functioning level and then using that as an excuse to deny us accommodations.”
Heightened senses is a real pain. Tickles are TORTURE. Sound of a crowd talking? Like bubbling grease. Sound of heavy traffic passing by? You can't hear someone talking unless they're right next to you. Something in the corner of your eye you don't expect? Immediately move. I have to dress in clothes a size too big or they feel constraining; like I'm being squeezed. Be in a room with a lot of people? Feel a pressure and paranoia, as if you're under a microscope; because you have no way to be social. Then you feel WORSE because you fake paying attention and just want to go; like in the Deadpool video game - "It's so booorring"
My nephew thinks it's like I got a spidey sense from the physical responses I told him about
The worst thing for me is the light. I work at night and I love it. Night people are also nice and will leave me alone when I need it.
@Dead Whale Games my aunt gave me a LOT of trauma as a kid. Always hid from her because of it
@@JD-ld9vy I know. It hurts my eyes to. I practically started the umbrella trend in the summer to keep cool and make it bearable to see. God is it WORSE in winter. Its ACTUALLY easier to look at the snow than straight ahead; the bright contrast HURTS.
Nah gotta disagree, i love having heightened senses
Most of the time, i do agree that it can be a pain in the when theres too many loud sounds
I'm 22 years old now and in retrospect, I feel like high functioning autism explains my school life and my general discomfort with social interactions.
I struggled at a young age to grasp certain subjects well while excelling elsewhere, and when logic was defied I felt compelled to ask the hard questions. This lead to my general discontent with schooling and eventually lost my interest entirely.
Other matters in life were only amplified by my sensitive mind and this lead me to be depressed for years, eventually settling into a wonderful level of anxiety.
People view me as a bright mind with a great attitude behind it, but I just want to become more reclusive and enjoy the world from afar.
Hey no worries, i think there are many people who just feel like we can't relate to anyone becuase our minds are unique. I guess we just have to respect eachother and continue to live our lives.
from what im reading, exactly me
junior high, i was like .08 points behind the valedictorian
high school, i failed all but 1 class my senior year, but it was the 1 class I needed to graduate...
no one makes sense, try to hang out with people but we're just aimlessly walking in a mall. i guess it's just to wander, but why are we... wandering? why can't we have a goal? hated it, even if I enjoyed the company I was with. should've had a plan.
social interactions are a fucking maze, a minefield, and I just want to make a friend, but then I get slapped with "I have a boyfriend" by girls or guys who just don't generally just don't give a shit, and I struggle to relate and interact and have a back and forth unless its a topic I'm explicitly into. and it's frighteningly difficult to talk about anything that isn't in my narrow interests because it seems so mind-numbingly boring if it isn't the handful of things I DO like, but I must talk about them to relate to people, but it's so fucking... almost painful
is this just me being weird or is it a spectrum thing because my parents were very devout on the notion that I'm an extremely talented little angel that they're going to do everything in their power to make me miserable and ashamed of myself for not doing all my schoolwork and clearly having issues and not figuring them out on my own as a child. and now I have this mental block ingrained by my parents that makes it a ridiculously painful struggle to try and seek help and diagnosis, even though I've already been diagnosed with depression
This is the stereotypical story of every Asperger's childhood, welcome to the Club...😕
Try to find work that requires fine logical analysis of facts or data. Nobody beats us in those fields.
My birthday was only a week ago. I turned 22. You took the words out my mouth and it's spooky, but I couldn't word it better.
shit that felt like I was reading about my own life, oddly that makes me feel a tad bit better/less odd
as someone with ASD i suggest the rest of the world gets treatment as it's clearly is lacking in both logic and order.
damn
That's just about the best comment I've read on here. I agree that a huge percentage of NTs have this completely illogical way of thinking, and I mean totally backwards. My guess is they live on pure social behaviour, without regards for what is true or what makes sense. They go with the majority vote, and stick to it even if they can't make sense of it. All that just to "Belong" to a group, which seems to me their holy grail in life. Human social behaviour is extremely overrated in my opinion.
It's true. You can see what look like developmental categories of people when you look at the flow of opinions in society. There are the paranoids, who think everything is a trick and come up with their own ridiculous nonsense (aka folk wisdom); then the tribalists, who don't even care what's true and just side with their team; then the hall monitors, who don't even care which team they're on as long as they get to be horrible to the people they deem "bad"; then the cynical villains, who lie and cheat for their own gain and think that the people who don't are stupid; and then there's the poor saps who try to play the game straight and end up being victimized or taken advantage of by everyone.
People suck.
@@khatharrmalkavian3306 perfect description.
My therapist, who is also an autist, likes to say that, as far as she's concerned, autists are the ones who make sense, and the only reason they seem "crazy" is because society is made up of crazy people.
She cites things such as autists tending to be more honest, more empathic, more intelligent (when they don't have serious learning disabilities, at least), more hardworking, etc. However, they live in societies where dishonesty, selfishness, and thriving on social connections and charm rather than intelligence and merit, are the norms.
I'm neurotypical, but I'm a HUGE medical and science dork! I'm taking this as something to keep in mind for any potential future interactions or future children I may have. The last thing I want to do is upset or overwhelm someone unintentionally! Thanks for the insight!
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
the most challenging part of being on the spectrum for me are the challenges with social interaction. there have been many situations where I try to connect to the people around me and end up saying something that doesn’t connect with anyone at all which results in a awkward silence. no matter how many times this happens to me, it’s always painful and unbearable and makes not want to talk to anyone ever again. despite this, I still have made some very close friends over the years that understand and accept me for who I am and have helped me improve my social skills through time and open and honest dialogue.
Thanks for sharing this 🙏
I like joking around sometimes but I prefer to talk about deep subjects like psychology and philosophy. I feel like no one likes the deep analysis of these subjects like I do and they end up joking about the subject and not taking it seriously. I get disappointed but just go with the flow and joke back.
@@crossdressingthug3443 I feel you buddy. For me, it's typically the sociopolitical compass and how different rocket engines compare (think like, cost vs isp and thrust type stuff) but everyone is just like "political compass? Haha communism!" Or " rocket engine? Big barbecue!" And it is quite frustrating...
I try and die, Try and die again. It's on repeat until now!
Both, I'd say. Autistic children do need to be taught the tools to deal with a callous world, but I would also say that their gifts can be a blessing to the world. The more tools they are given to deal with the world, while the more tolerant and able to work with such children the world becomes, the greater the benefit such unique focus will give to everybody.
this - it's very difficult to explain to someone whom is on the autism higher functioning & average functioning as the world is not as clear cut as they assume. For example with people whom are emotional and express it openly, to that person they can come across as cold or uncaring along with the unsympathetic views they may seem. ~Trooper
@@trooperthatsall5250 I happen to be on the very high functioning end of the spectrum - or JUST off it. Screenings put me exactly on the line between being and not being an autist.
I would claim that many times, people like me see the patterns of how the world works very clearly, while those who keep going on about how there's no black and white at all, and how everything is grey, maaaaybe just need to listen a little more and try to learn those patterns. XD
That would lead to a lot less over-sensitivity to frank and honest feedback.
Not only that, but they keep the advantages of autism and the different neuro perspective that can be extremely useful.
@@DR3ADER1 You need to study up on the spectrum some. Your view on it is awfully small. Look up "Asperger's" to get a better idea.
Not to mention how their minds can change the world. Just ask Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Temple Grandin, and many others that were on the spectrum that contributed to the world in many ways.
My daughter has this and I’ve never been in more awe with a child as I am with her. I don’t always understand her logic and thinking but I love it
Myself and my daughter as well. I look at it as having different strengths and weaknesses. She taught herself to read and do math. She needed help learning how to read people and express herself in ways others can understand.
@@borticus101 I absolutely love it because it’s the first in my family. She was the best blessing I could’ve ever asked for. I usually join in on her shenanigans because I enjoy it. Her cheap thrills happen to be mine.
@@borticus101 thats awesome
your daughter is not autistic your doctors are lieng to you about this bs "spectrum" autism is tragedy 100% of the time!
@@killacounty I know my daughter and quite frankly, you don’t know us well enough to judge what she is or isn’t. If you’re gonna say shit, spell lying right. Now, another thing is, you can be on a spectrum if you’re not showing signs of full blown Autism. So quite frankly, I would trust my daughters doctor and specialists than someone who thinks she isn’t. So, keep your bullshit to yourself. ALSO, Autism isn’t a fucking tragedy, every child is different and expresses themselves as who they are individually. Everyone displays the disease differently.
Have 2 siblings both part of the spectrum... Both different but also similar in different ways. As they are my younger siblings, I can't help but have affection for them as they are my blood. But it does feel lonely in not having the more normal experience, especially when hearing what peers would say about their experiences with their siblings. It took a long while to accept both of them, as it would since I was very young when I was told of their condition. As I grew up I realised more and more how dealing with them changed me, I don't think of behaviours outside the norm as weird as it's my own normal to see. I instinctively try to assess everyone's behavioural patterns and classify them so I can deal with them differently to achieve mutually beneficial relationships. My parents were fair in giving attention as they age the amount we needed, but me obviously needing less still meant I got less. It gave a false impression of being less tended to. I used to get mixed feelings about my own achievements as my siblings received similar praise for much less, although they might have had to do more effort for that. It's tough because the full picture is only understood taking their condition into account, and skimming the surface as I'd do with everyone else gives false impressions. Between the both of them, I tend to respond to each as I'm responded to. So I end up being more affectionate with the youngest as she's affectionate herself. The other one is more introverted and speaks less, and doesn't know how to show affection, so there's less warmth and more neutrality in our relationship.
It's never not going to be tough with them, and the misconceptions will never end either, but I wouldn't trade then for anyone.
Thanks for sharing this 🙏
@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧 Why are you pushing your doc herbs and this Dr Oyalo? This sounds rather suspicious as to what is your agenda here?
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
As a man with high functioning autism I'll say that therapy helped me a lot.
I had bad anger management issues into my early 20s, it was my default emotion when something didn't go my way. I also have ADHD and needed help with organisational skills and it just helps to talk to someone about your personal problems too. I'm a better person for it and have more patience and less stress now than ever. I've got a full time job, a nice car and am about to buy a house. We can make it in society if we seek the support we need.
I made a shortfilm about autism, since i’m autistic myself and have a strong dislike for the representation in film. I hope you like it! ruclips.net/video/dr4bX8qmed0/видео.html
Theres so many different flavours of autism, this is the most common but there are also outgoing version, kids on the spectrum who talk alot and can make eye contact.
thanks . i have an intense thing for body and eye and intonation movement. I feel like i deeply understand where a mind is coming from.yet i can't relationship.... don't crave company for very long. But sometimes feel like the temple grandon of humans ....lol.
I never had problems with eye contact. Actually, I was the opposite. One of the reasons people thought I was weird is I’d make eye contact for too long
Maybe because some of us got told it's rude to stare and shame kicked in?
I read your comment and immediately my brain wandered into "I'm going to be literal" mode and I imagined how much effort it would take to lick all the autistic folk, the immense freak out that would result of the unexpected physical stimulous, and I'm still laughing.
But yes. What this guy said :D
i cant make eye contact for the life of me, but i can talk 100 miles an hour, but if i was in a room full of new people and told to work with them i’d probably have a meltdown lol
I love the comment of, "Autism is not a disease and can't be cured." Tell that to the doctors I was forced to go and see and the multitude of experimental meds my grandparents signed me into taking.
Chris chaaaaaan
I agree that we don’t need to change people with autism. I’m fairly sure that most STEM advancements have came from people with autism, more In particularly people with Asperger’s (like me).
“i hope that this will help you learn to act normal when you grow up” my mom daid something like that when i was like 8. shes learned more now i think but i dont think adhd goes away. its kinda there forever
From the same people that say trans people are normal...
Lol. It definitely can be cured, but the idea is to remove the vacksheen poison not add more
Social interactions are my biggest puzzles. Even with my closest family members and peers, I have this uncontrollable urge to analyze how I interact. I have to ask myself where my eyes are supposed to go, whether looking away is rude, how close or far I should physically be, etc. I once told my coworker that I prepare a detailed mental script of how I would interact with clients (which includes results, possible facial reactions, questions, etc.). I believed she would do the same thing. Apparently not.
I just convinced myself that I'm the greatest introvert, but even my introverted friends don't think like that. My social anxiety has never stopped even after all my attempts to be social. I thought performing in and hosting events would change me but my urge to just hole myself in simply worsened.
I don't want this to be confirmation bias at work, but I relate to a lot of autistic symptoms. Looking back on my childhood, the "aha" moments just keep coming and getting reinforced. Being in a country and family that disregards mental illnesses as being weak-minded, I'm inclined to doubt myself everyday. Hopefully, I will have myself diagnosed and learn more about myself.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
this is so relatable thank you🙏
@@joemoon1943 Stfup bots with your bs products
@user-mt8yg3fd1f I think the thing that’ll help you most is to forget autism is a thing and identify the things that worsen the symptoms (stress, lack of sleep and idle thoughts), and learn to manage them (mindfulness/short meditation sessions, dedicating some nights to your own wellbeing by going to bed on time, and listening to music or finding a hobby to keep from procrastination).
A couple of points i want to say as an autistic adult guy:
1) i organize things and i give the analogy of a garage. Some people have a garage with lots of things but people with autism need those things in boxes because otherwise they won’t have a way to park their car. Every time they get new information they have to take that nee clutter out of the way of the car they’re driving and put it into a box. The problems are that that takes time (longer processing) and sometimes the boxes are in other boxes. Additionally we don’t want two boxes out at once or one thing in two boxes.
2) a lot of people as they grow up desire and crave friendships and relationships. We just get so bummed out from trying so hard and seeing it consistently fail for reasons we don’t understand it’s usually better to not even try anymore.
3) Therapy is helpful because it lets me solve some bigger issues and to sort and label boxes. We shouldn’t discourage a lot of asd behaviors but we should still realize there’s a normalcy range and working on some thorns helps a lot.
4) social skills are skills. That means they take practice. Coming out of covid people are out of practice from their social skills and should be given grace and feedback and opportunities to work on things like conversation
nice text 👍
thanks for letting us know
THANK YOU for just showing it as something that makes us think different, not a disease or sickness.
I hate being seen as someone who is “dumb” or “sick” even though, I actually have pretty good grades, and consider myself pretty artistic, and I don’t think I’d be this was if I didn’t have autism.
Autism is not a disease
Autism is our brains thinking differently.
Right. I absolutely love my autistic brain. So grateful to be me, and just wish society would try to understand and let me be myself without saying that there's something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me.
Humans are odd people and if something doesn't fit into their view of the world, that means it must be wrong. Or at least, that's probably how most people percieve it.
Don't lie to yourself, we all don't like human interaction but normal ppl don't act special or hide behind some (disease) to avoid it lol
i like the effort and intention but i dont like tne inacurracy in the presentation. Its not really helping if you go far off the other end.
Autism is not a disease by the mere fact diseases can at least theoreticly be cured, and usually evolve over time.
However autism can be severly debilitating - if you have Kanners Autism youll likely need constant support from caretakers. If you have early childhood autism you may never be able to speak in your entire life.
if you ave Aspergers autism....you may seem awkward but you can live a perfectly normal life.
That said as society we make progress, there is companies that have preferential hiring for autistic people BECAUSE the "think different" part can be a major boon to a company.
Here in germany we have an IT software developer that only hires autistic programmers as they found that autistic people make way less mistakes, work harder, and are surprisingly creative in problem solving. That said they also hire therapists that help the programmers with aspects of the job that they aint good at and ofc. non autistic people for say communication with clients. Thats quite some extra costs for the company, but they do fine and think its worth it even if they have to hire more people in the end (company is named auticon)
Good grades doesnt mean you’re intelligent. Just means you Can regurgitate information from memory
Children can't be changed, and trying to change them just leads them to learning to pretend to be different to please their parents/therapists, while being internally unhappy.
What children with autism need is to be taught how to navigate a world that is not made for them. To be taught things, specially about human interaction, which are innate to others but not innate to them. Such as the example given of recognizing facial expressions.
There’s only so much “teaching” one can do to an autistic person, and things will still fall apart for them. Not everything that’s taught will apply to every situation.
I’m autistic, and while I wasn’t diagnosed until I was well into adulthood, I’d like to believe I was taught human interaction. It still wasn’t enough. Having to navigate specific situations and getting it wrong most of the time has caused me to develop unhealthy thought patterns that led to depression when I was 12 years old.
What autistic children (and autistic adults!) need is for non-autistic people to learn to accommodate autistic people. Autistic people have tried to accommodate non-autistic people all their lives. It’s time for non-autistic people to do the same.
@@ryuusei1907 Well, yes, the expectation isn't, and shouldn't be, that they will live "normal lives", so to speak. Autistic people should avoid, as much as possible, situations that are disadvantageous to their condition. The learning is for the situations where they can't avoid getting out of their comfort zone.
I'm the non-social type of autist. I don't have a very hard time interacting with others, I just have an extreme disinterest in forming and maintaining social connections. My therapist, who is also an autist, tells me that I don't ever need to be a gregarious fellow, but I need to maintain at least a few connections for very much basic survival reasons. There is safety in having at least a small social network. I'm not fond of the idea of having to put in effort in maintaining connections, something I have no interest in, but I can't deny her logic.
To be honest, I think that's an unrealistic expectation. I mean, more awareness about autism helps, but society at large will never be able to significantly bend in that manner.
Neuro-typical people struggle even to accommodate the differences between themselves to begin with, which are relatively small in comparison. Only someone who loves an autist will put in the effort to make the accommodations necessary for them.
Expecting that from society at large will likely only lead to disappointment. People love to put out lip service about tolerance, but actual real tolerance is in short supply.
@@ryuusei1907 Nah, autistic children should learn typical behaviour.
You need to assimilate if you are going to look after yourself.
"world not made for them"? you mean they are not made for the world. Can't change the world to fit a very minute fraction of the population.
@@ryuusei1907 Unfortunately that is not how nature/life works. You can't tell 95% of the population to accommodate the 5%. Unless the 5% have some sort of evolutionary mechanism to out benefit the majority...they'll always be on the bottom.
I am 57 this year and finally got diagnosed with Asperger's. All my life i was called "Stupid', "faliure" or "Whats wrong with you?"...or.."Why are you like that?" I had NO idea it was a condition. I thought i honestly was just 'weird'. I grew up in the 1970's, 80's ect. And back then, there wasnt much knowledge on this subject, But i have the diagnosis now and im SO relived!! Im NOT 'weird!" Im ME!!
Similar to myself at 65.
Same at 32, I was used to being the weird creepy guy, didn’t mind I just liked different stuff and kept to myself. Problem I have is dealing with the rumour mill and work due to people gossiping just because you don’t fit in even though I’ll help anybody.
You can't believe how relieved I am to hear that from someone else! I've always been so hard on myself because I had my own mother tell me, "What's wrong with you?" in the same context as this. She doesn't mean it, I know she loves me and she's done so much for me, but I can feel at peace knowing it wasn't an attack on me, but my condition. Thank you.
It was finally good to have a diagnosis for what was going on.
I wouldn't call it a condition, really
Again ASD is more of a different operating system for the brain, most people run "windows" but some people are running linux which has some just generally different ways of doing things. It's not that one is better than the other, but there are advantages for specific activities over others. Windows is great because most people can discuss their issues with it and help you out, you don't really have to think about the core of the system to get access to your documents and apps, it's a more social based system since your understanding of the system (or lack of understanding) doesn't get in the way of you using the apps to connect with other people.
Linux is great because you have a better awareness of what's going on, it gives you finer controls to where you don't need to go downloading an app to do things for you but you also spend most of your day working out basic functions, and you have to work out basic navigation around the operating system pretty much on your own. It's a different system and there's a bunch of different distributions that all have a varying degree of difficulty to work past just to do basic things so getting help with your specific distribution can be confusing and lonely. Trying to connect with other people is a chore as the simple ways are difficult for them to figure out, and trying to connect to their apps requires a lot of work for you to get through.
Arguably a "linux" brain is a better system to work with in the long run, but if the people that make the windows apps don't go out of their way to make their programs work with your system too then it can be a real burden.
It's is a surprisingly good parallel.
One thing I noticed that really helped me was that we are literally no different than other person in terms of pattern recognition. We just do it differently and have different approaches, but the logic is flawed and of fiction. It just seems more realistic because we tend get details better. One thing that really caused a lot of emotional turmoil the constant lectures about how the world does not follow patterns. Which is not true, there's just an amazing amount of data to sift through for a person, whereas machines will eventually make that leap.
Especially with people I greatly struggled with people when they said something positive about someone, but meant it in a negative sense. I would tell Person B that Person A said that about them, and caused a fight I really didn't understand of how it would occur.
The recognizing of emotional states, and how those states can influence people with different kind of temperaments is crucial and something I feel should be focused in early therapy. It takes a lot of mental stamina, but I think its very important. Even if a child's abilities exceeds that of their peers, in the real world I find that social ability, and maneuvering in positive and effective ways reward more than actual practical skills and abilities. Especially when it comes to leadership, communication and relationship management which I know I will only be barely competent at rather than excel.
I think after I have proper diagnosis I can get proper therapy.
Edit 1: 1 year later in 2023 turns out I did, no wonder this video explained so much to me and was recommended by a friend.
People hate the thought that they can be predicted, like some biological machine. They can also be programmed like one.
Indoctrination, propaganda, brainwashing, etc. They exist and have been perfected for eons..
You will be surprised how many people have the same beliefs, while all simultaneously thinking those were there idea... Despite most of the populace sharing the exact same beliefs.
@@davidevans7477 I absolutely agree. I find that admitting and realizing what controls you actually frees you. Many people do not want to see, and end up being deceived ad controlled instead.b
To your question: autistic people need and will thrive from both - therapy as a safe space to explore who they are and supportive parenthood and social network conducive to embrace their unique light and talents, that would build up their strengths rather than merely compensating for their weaknesses. Such environments can really raise exceptional humans.
Highly emotionally sensitive and incredibly talented in a variety of areas (contrary to the narrative that autistic people tend to develop one interest and be obsessed about it. Increased neural sensitivity and activity in the brain allows for more room to learn and understand a domain and sprak similar interest in all the related domains, too.)
From a personal (and opposite) viewpoint I've always thrived in conflict and challenge. Having a safe space as a child would have bored me to tears... and I really didn't like being embraced - too confining.
My best friend on the other hand, he needs time to process things and needs validation quite a lot. He would definitely benifit from your methods and outlook. He's a kind, sweet man that cares for animals and is afraid of wasps (or anything with stingy bits). Me? I'm a mean old curmudgeon that is more than happy to defend myself, my friend and anyone else within eyesight or earshot.
I loved my dog. She was the dumbest smart dog you ever met (or the smartest dumb dog, not sure which). She knew all the tricks. Roll over, play dead, stay, paw, bang! (which is like play dead, but with extra bits) and there was a whole routine where I'd say all the tricks and she'd get them wrong ("Sit! Noo.. That's play dead.. Okay... try Play Dead! Noo, that's roll over) it was a terrific party trick. Never once did she get a treat for doing a trick or learning a new one. She did the tricks because that was what we expected her to do, and that was that. She got treats at random, whenever we felt like it, just because we loved her. "This is a treat for being who you are".
I never let my dog's brain get tired, she knew when it was okay to completely ignore me and when it was time to do as was told. We'd go to the dog park once in a while. Dragon (my dog) wasn't the biggest dog, as she was a rescue, but she could run fast. I'd get to chatting to some of the other dog owners "why is your dog called Dragon? She doesn't look like a dragon..?"
"Becaue she's always "Dragon" on the leash!"
Well, I had a particular trick for folk that thought they had better dogs than I had. I'd call my dog over - she'd kinda break off a bit and see what the noise was, but then go back to play. Eventually whoever it was would tell me "You 'aint never gunna get that dog to listen to you, it's at a dog park playing with other dogs!" "Too excited" "That dog is very excitable, it just wants to run" I'd tell them they were probably right and we'd chat for a bit more. Eventually It'd be time to leave and I'd say "Dragon." and pull out the leash. There was. Every time. Sitting right where I wanted her, waiting patiently. Now... as well as Aspergers I've got Dyspraxia, so my fingers and my brain don't always communicate all that well. I tie my shoes the day after I buy them and never untie them. It takes a long time for me to clip on the leash. 'Ol Dragon would sit there patiently as the clip would clink against the hook.. clink. clink. "Grumble grumble, stupid leash" clink. clink. So much for not getting my dog to listen. Hmmph. Anyhoo.... People can be like that too. Don't reward them. There's no need. The reward is being part of a team. Treats are just a bonus.
I honestly think I found myself an autistic dog. She didn't need a therapist, because even though the other dogs were bigger than her and meaner than her, she knew she was valued for being herself. She didn't need a safe space, because although the world is not safe her Home was. Therapists should be for post trauma. You shouldn't feel trauma for being yourself.
Mind you, there was that time she was attacked by a peccary... and the time she was let loose in a field and tried making friends with some meth heads... and the time... Boy was that "smart" dog dumb...
Anyhoo. Now you have a rambling story. :D
@@myplaylist2468 nice story of your dog! Glad you found a pal like that :)
"Safe space" doesn't mean a boring one, merely that it offers a space to be and explore yourself. It CAN be mentally stimulating - and no it doesn't mean that everyone is just nice to you and take every punch you make. My late father, for example, I suspect, knew of my neurodiversity and he supported a healthy debate, fed my curiosity with huge variety of books and courses. He loved me and offered a safe space for me to be myself - but it didn't mean that he put cushion around every pillar - he knew that bumping into some of them will enable my learning along the way.
Not unlike goes for my therapy, too: the amount of times that my therapist and I debate and explore and learn, sometimes with me crying and pushing back on the insights presented - is one of the key features that enabled, what I consider, beautiful personal growth. It is through challenges that we learn: but you don't need to jump off the building in order to understand how gravity works.
The narrative of "you need to have been traumatised for therapy" prevents so many people from going into therapy. Many are suffering or simply living "half-lives" where people are stuck in a rut and lack support and audacity to make changes. Besides, a definition of trauma for one person differs from the other. A slight misinterpretation of behaviour can lead to limiting beliefs of our subconscious that reverberate through years of "wasted" life.
And you absolutely can have trauma for being yourself, btw - an easy example is bullying in early years of life because other kids thought you're "too weird". Just an example. You said you enjoy a healthy debate - there you have it :)
Every neurotypical person needs to watch this. This made me feel so understood. Thank you.
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 5. Among the things that my parents were told was that if I progress in the way the doctors believed I would, I likely wouldn't be able to read, or even live independently. But they also said it could help for my parents to work with me in being able to do those things and more and here I am, living independently with my wife and soon-to-be 2 sons in a house I bought. My wife has a brother with autism too, and she said something that I really resonated with: that autism is kind of a language all it's own, and learning the ability to casually communicate with other people, reading faces and whatnot is like learning a new language. It was almost as if a light bulb turned on when my wife said this, because I, for the most part, have learned to read faces, situations, and general conversation at this point, when several years ago I was very quiet and not that great at reading people. I essentially learned a new language in being able to do these things. All this is to say to those who are afraid of interacting with people in what's considered standard fashion because it may be considered masking, I say there's no shame in learning how to interact with people in the language they can understand. You don't have to bury the fact that you have autism in the process (in fact I wear it as a badge of honor because of how far I've gotten in life with it.) but I don't think people should be shamed for trying to mingle with and understand people in what's considered "normal" fashion. Of course, on the other side, it is a breath of fresh air when a "normal" person learns to communicate with an autistic person, which is the case with my wife with her brother. I guess the takeaway is that neither end should rear the entire burden of communicating with the other side, but it would be a good idea to do our best to meet in the middle. I realize that this is much easier said than done for quite a few reasons, but, as basic as it sounds, if both sides worked with each other in understanding each other, I don't find hard to believe that autistic people would be in a better position in the social, educational, and general life aspects. Autism isn't something to be cured, just understood. Being an autistic person who can communicate "normally" shouldn't be considered a "masker", just someone who has learned the language that "normal" people understand.
I guess it is the same with ADD. It's people having disorders because or with the surrounding system. It is more about the system norrowing out people that don't fit in. So why trying to make these appropriate for the system than maybe better change the system and open it so people can fit? It often is to change our mindset than people - in either way and for both sides. Acceptance and cherishing each other is the best way to get along with each other. Tearing boundaries down on both sides instead of making them higher.
Who axed
And, I was diagnosed with autism as I was 2 years old.
Among
@@stefaniebunner428 you have some points but what you are afraid of is deeper than "the system". People don't like differences. Diversity is a myth. We all like uniformity. And on top of that, no human likes mysteries.... So when you have someone next to you that is "different" a) she is different than you, b) in a way you can not explain. That result is feeling strange, the least. It is a normal reaction.
If it was a system, we could travel, find a different social system and see something else. But there's nothing like that unfortunately.
Plus, yes there are times that you will have to adjust and try to "fit", because what you will get worth the effort.
Love is the only "medicine". Love is the only motive for someone to show acceptance, patience, tolerance, understanding. Yes, but this someone that will show you that love, lives in the system.... Will you adjust a little bit so you can swim in the same system with him?
During my teenage years I noticed that I was different than the other kids. Everyone around me was wearing makeup (I do not understand the logic in that), going to parties (way too noisy), drinking (3 reasons I don't do that), etc.
And here I was in a bedroom filled with Winnie the Pooh stuff, playing with toys, or drawing in a colouring book, being in my own happy little bubble.
There was a bit of a struggle because every teenager, generally speaking, wants to be a part of the group.
Honestly, if I could go back to highschool with the knowledge I have now, about myself, I would do things very differently.
I got diagnosed with ASD about 5 years ago, and that has given me a lot of answers. Plus reading comments like these makes me happy, because it makes me realize:
"Hey, you're not alone in this."
Yikes
I’m not autistic and I’m a guy but I also don’t understand makeup lol
make-up feels so icky on my face, I dislike parties aswell however drinking i dont mind, but I'd rather spend my time alone with my earbuds in playing tetris
@OFFOX yeah all of these things that person listed applies to me, aka being a nerd
The thing I don't get about makeup: it's sticky, it's expensive as hell, it takes forever to be done in the morning, and the worst: you put it up in the morning and take it off in the evening, on the same day... what? 🤣
As someone who was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at the age of 4, I'm surprised by how little of this I've been made aware of. All of a sudden I can actually back up many of my "quirks".
I never heard the word autistic associated with me until I was an adult. A friends wife picked up on it not long after meeting me. She didn't tell me though. Reflecting upon all the things I heard about my childhood, as well as my experiences, made me realize I has on the spectrum long before my friends wife picked it up. My girlfriend at the time was offended (that's who my friend's wife told). I was not offended as I had already come to that conclusion. People tend to equate autism with being mentally disabled.
I was diagnosed with autism as a child, I don’t believe there is such thing as high functioning or low functioning autism. Everyone functions in their own way and putting a value to it by standards of how “normal” people function is not fair to us on the spectrum.
I've been around the sun 40 times, was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome on my 37th time around, there has been no choice but to increase my tolerance of pain and define my own world. Imagine growing up thinking you have quirks when it's obvious evolution. There are no more thumbs coming down the pipeline but not only was I born on the spectrum, I was born without wisdom teeth, a very tiny apendix. I developed Disassociation Disorder from social anxiety, you know, we're just expected to put ourselves out there, so I can leave my body at will, it's like blinking, I can purposely do it, I can purposely stop and it happens out of reflex based on situations.
@@jacobwilson1554 high functioning to neurotypical standards. So being graded per say around neurotypical ideologies.
@@theseveredheadofjohnthebap7322 I'm 23 and I'm pretty sure I have aspergers. I've also been dealt a abusive family who constantly screamed and threatened each other so for most of my life i could literally live in my fantasyland ignoring the world. I suffered a mild concussion and had been diagnosed depression after a suicide attempt at 12 my social anxiety is terrible but I've learned to fake communication skills ( guess that means I learned them) but my "battery" is like super short.
I like to quote an autistic friend, whichs motto I live by: "We socialize efficiently. We communicate when it serves a purpose: transfer of practical information. Neurotypicals communicate just for the sake of communication (like small talk). They're creating work for the sake of work. They are the disabled ones, not us."
After watching, studying people since the beginning of my life I got a hand of how things are done by neurotypical people. As a woman I was praised for being quiet and still, even tho I was completely overloaded with senses which made me freeze rather than throwing a tantrum. As a child I didn't break down or showed much emotions that turn into an extrem because "that's not how a lady behaves". When I would behave too much out of the norm it ended in violence, extreme isolation or exert confrontation... It was important that once I found things that I find interesting are connected to a social aspect, like horses or being in a fandom of a boyband. I can only explain it by how cis women are raised that we find those obsessions that connects to other people. Because on the opposite you have mostly autistic men that peak out hobbies that are more isolated. But having somewhat social hobbies, help in a way to learn more about how the mind of a neurotypical works.
But I spent all this work into understanding everything of a neurotypical and yet not many try to even accept the being of an autistic.. The perception of us does really depend on where one is on the spectrum, how they were raised and their gender.. You could say that we are all different to one another just like neurotypicals.
Love that motto :)
Or you or your friend is just immersed in your Ego and feel the need to put down "normal" people to feel good about yourself.
Small talk is cultural not specific to Autism. In Finland there is no small talk. People find it rude if you start yammering on about nothing.
Honestly I find most people now days whether autistic or not ramble on about themselves ad nauseum. And it generally revolves around how special they are rather than actually connecting with the other person and being interested in the other person.
Either you want to be alone forever and never learn to truly connect to another or you go on and on about your own subject that only you are interested in. All people can learn to conversate and be respectful of others.
Oh and I have Aspergers.
@@rokurota3311 thanks for the reply! Small talk is a conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters. I agree with you partly that small talk is not common or typical in every culture. I'd go so far to say that I, as an autistic person, can listen to people small talking but I simply wouldn't know how to keep it light. Since autistic brains are more complex it does end often to go a bit deeper into topics, which not everyone wants to engage with. Which is fine. But I would claim that there is a difference between small talk (again unimportant and uncontroversial matters) and getting to know someone. I did explain the connecting to others further after the quote, also saying that whether you have autism or not, we are all different to one another.. please read my entire comment before accusing me that I would not try to understand others and "immersed in my Ego".
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
@@rokurota3311 I really liked the quote she shared - until the last part: ”THEY are the Disabled ones, NOT us”! 🙄 I’d have to side with my fellow autistic RokuRota here on his post above.
Awareness & Acceptance are great initiatives that we should all continue to strive for; but grade-school superiority-talk (like, “no, we’re not disabled, you are!”😝) is exactly the kind of thinking we are trying to correct here.
I’m not big about “pride” either. This is a personal conviction of mine. I abhor the idea of pride for your autism, pride for your melanin, pride for your gender, pride for the gender that turns you on, or pride for the gender you want people to pretend to acknowledge you as.
Just have a humble amount of self-worth (in yourself as a whole) and for those things you ACTUALLY did yourself (e.g. wrote a book, coded a program, overcame adversity, or made a positive impact in someone else’s life), and not pride and laude yourself over your differences with others.
I get the sentiment though. I too think cutting out the useless chit-chat is far better, but holding that belief doesn’t make me any better compared to someone else; who just wants to talk for the sake of talking and maintaining a connection to someone through conversation.
As far as droning on about our self-interests to my “uninterested victims”, I am guilty of that too. Conversation is (as her friend stated) about sharing information, and we’re all guilty of info-dumping in our conversations the data we feel is exciting and worth sharing. The problem is, we can’t always tell who will be interested, or when we’ve lost their “polite interest” mid-dump! 😅
My 20 y/o son is Autistic and it has been really hard for me to explain that to my younger children. This video is a total God sent. Thanks so much for this! 🙏🏼♥️
Jesus, did you get knocked up at 13?
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 lol nope I had my child when I was 20 y/o
@@nathalyalvizures7339 You're 40!? You look younger than what you actually are 😂
@@blueflame3531
Who's to say that profile picture is even her?
@@blueflame3531 Photos don't age, and that might not even be her photo. Are you a white letter H on a pink background? Am I an antelope?
As somebody with Aspergers, one thing I noticed is that people don’t look at us on a case-by-case basis. For some, “acceptance” is a massive disservice. We can adapt to the world and become better in the social realm, but we don’t know how without some guidance. Others, no matter how hard they try, just can’t. They need that acceptance to flourish.
I think that's a really good point
Aayyyyy aspergers gang
@@markgallagher1790 YESSS
No one normal has ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world
@@bitbreaker_creator tru dat m8
My wife is a psychologist who specializes in the diagnosis and early intervention of ASD. They absolutely don’t try to change who the child is. They work on intervention techniques with the child and the parents to ensure the child has the greatest chance at a happy and fulfilling childhood.
my son is 3 and asd level 1. he goes to an ab school because his mother makes him. I'm fine with him not going. sometimes he likes it, but most of the time he'd rather stay home with me. their exact words were " we want to help teach him to correct his social behaviors so that he fits in and can function within society. hopefully be 5 he will be able to pass with normality and fit in because his autism was caught early enough." personally I feel that if he's autistic then so am I. I feel his "autism" is more of a nature thing because of how his mother is with him rather than a nature thing and he was born that way. regardless, I don't treat him any differently than I would if he never were diagnosed with autism.
Here’s a novel idea, Why don’t we just stop it before it happens and quit poisoning our children at birth with random inoculations that don’t actually do anything except load brains up with mercury poisoning.
@@h2w25 What are you talking about?
As someone of 67 with many of these traits, I had to grow up and spend most of my adult life feeling different.
I now see these traits as assets and make the most of them. Other things Im not good at, I have learn't to improve and in some case simply avoid.
So they don't try to change their bad social behaviors at all like a sociopath? A sociopath can't be treated either really. They are who they are, but they can learn to be better socially and have a more normal life. It's pretty difficult at times to go through life feeling like everyone doesn't think logically and it's the twilight zone. And handling emotions are very difficult at times.
As someone with Autism I think it would have helped me massively to know from a young age the reason WHY establishing social connections is important, instead of being told that I should want to be around people and have lots of friends because it's 'nice' or 'fun' to hang out with a big group of people. (logic). Socialising in large groups is borderline debilitating at times, because the effort that it takes to mask uses up so much mental energy. I have to think about every single thing before I say it, remind myself constantly to look people in the eye, smile, nod, pretend to be listening and interested, etc. Doing all this while 3 people are talking behind me, there's a group in the corner having another conversation, and my own brain is trying to think about something else it would rather be doing is exhausting. I think that destigmatising the way that autistic people naturally communicate (not making eye contact, fidgeting, talking in narratives or in excited bursts but then being nonverbal when upset) would be great, I know for me it would mean that I could finally exist and interact with the social world without constantly feeling like I have to 'put on a show' or hide who I actually am in order to make everyone else comfortable.
Very insightful. Thanks for sharing!
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
I’m very glad the stress with engaging in multiple people talking at once was addressed, because that is fully true for me. It’s hard to block sounds out when multiple people are talking, and it can get really stressful.
Give yourself permission to exit the situation and restore inner calm.
I’m like that at home lol. I want to move my desk because my son and husband have their desks in the same room and they refuse to use headphones. So I have to hear two different things while I’m trying to do what I need to do or listen to my own stuff and they just don’t understand how much it bothers me. I have headphones but they want to blast their stuff and not use headphones. I’m seriously considering moving my desk now thinking about it lol.
Additionally, I often have earbuds in because it helps me hear my podcasts better and I can drown out exterior noise but it annoys my husband because I drown out exterior noise aka him. He doesn’t get that I’m just really sensitive to sound. He’s a musician/drummer. He just doesn’t understand.
@@marktwain368 - eh… easier said than done. There are just some situations when you’re networking for work where you really can’t do that. Especially when you’re surrounded by a bunch of people that are extroverted that don’t understand you can’t handle the noise. I just suck it up and go home and pass out due to exhaustion. Sometimes, you just have to deal with being uncomfortable in life to make sure you get the job, get stuff done, etc. It is, what it is.
IQ Buds 2 Max from Nuheara. They're in the process of changing my life. They let me focus on -just- the person in front of me; everything else is reduced to an undifferentiated mutter. I can actually spend time in bars, now!
When someone is trying to talk to me and all I can here is the people talking next to me I just want to explode inside. I can hear every word being said to me and the other conversation but I cannot process any of it.
My son is 9 and was recently confirmed to be on the specturm, this we've known as parents for some time and his teachers as well but it took forever to get a diagnosis because covid caused a massive backlog in the wait for assessments
It genuinely amazes me to see how far we have come in our understanding of this because, while I have never been formally assessed I'm 99% sure that I am also on the spectrum however, being a child in the 80s/early 90s, means I was brushed aside as "slow" or "difficult"
Be grateful U learned n childhood @all & not n his 30s cuz “he just can’t get his act together!” So we’ll make it past despite all efforts 2 lie & critique science not even they understand. Anyways most successful divergents find their passions early & their talent shines through. See Michael Burry & other success stories!
Maybe you are just slow or difficult
Wow, I almost could have wrote this comment. My 8yo just received his medical diagnosis. We are still waiting on the completed paperwork in the mail. He actually got a provisional diagnosis at the age of 4 but was put on a very long waiting list, then covid happened. The provisional diagnosis did lead to his educational diagnosis though, as he was just labeled developmentally delayed in his preschool class. We had known since he was 2 though. When he wasn't meeting his word requirements, we asked his doc to go ahead and set up therapy. He was immediately approved for Speech and OT then PT about 6 months later. After all that we have learned about Autism (which I don't feel like will ever be enough), we are almost positive that my husband is on the spectrum also. He was born in the late 70s and I would say that he was pushed aside, like you mentioned but his mother had a unique approach, I have never heard of. When he failed, she moved his schooling. I think he said he changed schools 4 or more times and was just put into the next grade. It's bizarre sounding. I don't think he had quite the social awkwardness of my son but he insists that up until 3rd grade, he was just like our boy then something just clicked for him. Our son goes into 3rd next year and I can't see the same happening, though he made great strides this year, being his first year in Gen Ed (which idk if yall are experiencing that but if not yet, be aware it is HARD). So sorry about the novel long reply, its feels great to tell someone this stuff that might know what I mean!
No better Autism-Coverage then Hbomberguy and Laila Paige. I hope this helps Someone.
Autism is a lie.
My son is 8 and has Autism, he's perfect in my eyes. He received some speech and occupational therapy, but I refuse ABA. We homeschool so that I can help him to learn his way. He doesn't need to change. My only goal for him is to make sure that he has the happiest and easiest life that he can. He's an amazing little guy and I'd never want to "cure" him. We celebrate differences in my home and accommodate to the best of our abilities. I'm super thankful that my little guy loves cuddles though.
That’s a wonderful comment! You son seems amazing 🥰
@@sprouts he sure is, thank you for your videos ❤️
This is very wholesome to read. Thanks for likely being a good parent 😊
Wow I love you, thanks for being a good parent
@lini I’m not trying to be or do anything special and I’m not asking for pats on the back. But I go above and beyond for my son to make sure he’s happy and fulfilled and living his best life. My kids are my Universe and honestly I think all kids should be treated this way and put first whether they are differently abled or not. From hospital stays, therapy sessions, switching the whole family to a gluten-free diet, singing him to sleep every night, nursing him till he was 4 and a half.. you don’t know my story but I do far beyond the bare minimum for my kids. I simply responded to the video which is my right to do. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone because I know my heart and I know that at the end of the day I do every single thing possible for my babies.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was young, back before the big overdiagnosing boom of the early 2000s that discredited a lot of cases and screwed things up for kids on the spectrum. When I was little, very little information was given out about it to teachers, and even the special ed teachers in my district were really poorly informed. I was mishandled and misjudged by everyone around me, from my parents to my teachers, to the rest of my family aside from my grandparents and a few of my aunts and uncles. As I grew, the narrative around Aspergers was changing, and it had not yet been added to the broader Autism spectrum. It was being decried as a fake diagnosis because of it being over diagnosed and so many false cases cropping up, so I received very little help in my early to mid-teens because i was deemed lazy, unmotivated, stupid.
By my last year of high school I denied I had it at all and just accepted that I was dumb. I never went to college. I tried getting good jobs and failing because of extreme anxiety from burnout. It took years of failure till I looked into Aspergers again and caught up with all the development in research on it. I finally started to accept I had an issue that caused me to be easily misunderstood.
Everyone in my life is still stuck in that mid 2000s narrative that it's fake. That I can "easily" change who I am, just because I've gotten good at masking. I receive no help. I receive no support. I'm called lazy. Unmotivated. Stupid.
I hope one day more people come to understand what this condition is, so kids who grew up like me can receive proper help in getting this world figured out.
So you got the og aspburgs? BFD
Yeah mate idk why u hating on 'overdiagnosing" when women are still 4x less likely to be diagnosed despite there being zero evidence as to the chances of having autism based on genetics
If it makes you feel better I have Asperger’s as well (now called high functioning autism)
I’ve struggled a lot in life even if I am still young, with my PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and a few other things.
I’m still suffering but the difference is now I’m actually getting help after dealing with this all my whole life (which isn’t long but it still hurts). I go to therapy now and I think it’s helping.
So now people are actually getting more help due to a better understanding. People still suffer, yes. People always suffer. But I think it’s getting better.
it’s actually underdiagnosed to this day, as it was back in the 2000s. please don’t take your frustration out on other autistics, or allistic professionals that genuinely want to help us. wider allistic society was, and is, the problem
We live in a time when everything is both over and underdiagnosed at the same time. Everyone seems to be on the spectrum, but if that’s the case why diagnose anyone with anything specific? Just assign numbers to everyone. You are Autistic 8 (mostly functional) and that guy over there can be Autistic 3 (dysfunctional).
This isn’t meant to be insulting, more that the reason the general public doesn’t consider these things as much of a problem is because this is how they see it, if everyone seems to be on the spectrum, then the spectrum doesn’t mean as much.
“Teemo, a young boy…”
Me, an intellectual: *imagining a cute little yordle with a passive global taunt, a penchant for mushrooms, and a poison-dart blow gun*
LOL
Who is crazy enough to name their kid Teemo?
Basically, most cancer champion
@@zlegend9628 Better cancer than 7lvl 0/10 Yasuo
I’d expect to see a LOL player under an autism video
YES!! 5:53 --> "maybe it's not their atypical minds, but our stereotypical way of looking at them, that needs correction" 🎯
Totally
Dude.
Wish that was something we could change but it’s naive to think it CAN change. Yes I given up so I advise to learn to play the game of life even if it’s rigged against us.
autism is mis diagnosed as this fake "spectrum" in order to conceel the absolute tragedy of having a normal child , getting it vaccinated and watching your kid crumble into serious, painfull, debilitating mental illness! stop playng down REAL autism!
@@killacounty go catch some sunlight, troll.
I'm 70 years old. Difficulty with personal relationships has always been my biggest challenge. People generally get along so well with one another it still makes me feel rejected even at the age of 70. Isolation seems to be my best option, but loneliness is depressing.
For most of my life, there have been people who have tried to help. I could never consider them as friends, however. Rejection for being different was too much. My safe place was holding them off at arms length. A large number of people viewed that as arrogant.
Meditation is something I've tried lately. Mindfulness rather than mindlessness as the book I had read on this says, makes a great deal of
sense.
There you have it. Good luck to all of you.
I was diagnosed when I was 22, it explained a lot, but I still struggle with accepting myself.
I’m so sorry to hear this, take it day by day. Always try to see the great things in you, because i’m sure there’s a lot of them 😉
4:10
"It freaks him out when someone counts to eight, but doesn't continue to ten."
_I felt that-_
I feel a similar thing, though it's more to do with sentences. If someone says something, but then hangs on the last word that they're looking for, I try and finish it for them. Rude? Maybe. Helpful? Sometimes. Needed? For me, yes. It just feels...wrong, to leave that sentence hanging there.
@@remnantknight56 I have a friend with autism and I'm realizing as I'm reading your comment that he's been doing this exact same thing with me in conversations. I didn't get why he was doing it, but it didn't bother me (except on bad days where I treat everyone like shit then immediately regret it). I always though it's probably something autism related that I just don't understand yet. Thanks for sharing :)
Yeah, me too!
I always have to say Beetlejuice 3 times. I don't know why.
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Not sure if I am autistic (from the light part of the spectrum) but I can absolutely relate to everything that was said as example. Logic everywhere, overwhelming feeling from social interactions, set routine and unwillingness to "shake" your environment hits so strongly. I've overcome many of issues and that felt hard, I can only imagine the hardships with how difficult it might be when the situation is much, more severe.
Yea I could easily relate to this video so much.
I can relate to that especially with music. Yet I wouldn't self diagnose myself. I definitely am not a neurotypical person of some form. Especially since working 60hrs a week, I notice more how I could be on the spectrum somehow. Since the high stress environment makes it all more apparent. From the detailed self talk on specific music genres all day long to random outbursts of getting my behavior in order and keeping calm. Yet the deep thoughts of music/making songs all day in my mind makes me feel like I'm not even at work, just my body is. Idk I wouldn't self diagnose but I do feel your comment
@@aprilmay1700 its a light part and a heavy part, asically describes how hard socialising is.
4:21 This is the worst of all. Not being able to really connect to other people, not being able to create a real interest for them or what they do. The insane struggle to maintain even one friendship and the patience they need to have.
This video among other things makes me fairly certain I'm undiagnosed high functioning autism. Everyone else thought I was "smart, but a troublemaker" or "smart, but lazy." I would read a book a day in elementary school and obsessively read about certain topics which I memorize with minimal effort. But when it comes to math, I struggle really hard. I also cannot keep organized and would frequently do my homework but forget to bring it into school, which eventually lead to me ceasing homework altogether when teachers didn't believe I had done the work. I was also constantly in trouble even in later grades for not having pencils and other school supplies. I think with the proper support I could have been an A student, but instead I had very high test scores but a low gpa and grades in general.
I suffer from the social issues as well. I've been training myself for years to look people in the eye but it just doesn't feel right. I find it difficult to join into conversation. I often wonder why people talk about certain things and how they don't see it as ridiculous. I often feel like I'd rather sit and listen and try to understand each person rather than take part in the conversation myself. Whenever I get to know people really well, this awkwardness goes away though, and I begin to make jokes and act a bit more like them, but it takes a long time to reach that point.
As a kid I would get extremely overwhelmed and upset by a lot of group activities that included lots of yelling, laughing, getting excited and rowdy, singing. It all just frightened me and filled me with fear and made me unable to focus, and my response to fear is anger and aggression, or shutting down completely and refusing to speak. I was in boyscouts and was often yelled at for refusing to take part in such activities. When adults were yelling at me when I was already overwhelmed by the environment, all I could do was sit in silence and not respond, which would just anger them further. I was always just a grouch, a bad kid, no one realized I had sensory issues even though there were other children who were diagnosed as autistic around me. It's like because I didn't show obvious learning disabilities, no one recognized the symptoms and thought I was just a problematic child. I still suffer with many of these problems today, but I'm only 20 and I've been working through them on my own relatively well.
I heavily relate, as I, too, have undiagnosed high functioning autism. (Except I do well in math, and constantly remind myself to bring my homework, so straight A’s for me)
Also, I can’t express how much socializing is hell, so I heavily relate to u there heavily, too.
Also also, how much of your food preferences are based on texture? Even if a dish taste wise is good, texture for me kills my enjoyment of that dish immediately.
You may want to take a glance at ADHD-I as it is often comorbid with ASD.
@@emtheslav2295 No better Autism-Coverage then Hbomberguy and Laila Paige. I hope this helps Someone.
@@emtheslav2295 why don’t you get it diagnosed? How are you so sure you have it?
@@lowkeybear10 in the process already
Third option is to have everyone in therapy.
Oh gosh yeah. That would be great. Make therapy standardized like public education. Which probably means making it free which usually has some issues, but for this I feel its important enough its worth that compromise.
@@Yipper64 and like publick education its gona be shit
@@mihabrilj152 Did you receive a public education? If not, then private education can't be much better as you are unable to spell. Just because something is public doesn't make it shit. The design is what is likely at fault, not the fact that it is public.
@@jnightshade5728 I have gon to public education and i didn't take advatage of it a i should have. Thats my problem to deal with and i'll learn from professionals thro internet and as soon as posible in person.
Im Slovenian by the way.
Psychology should be taught at a young age, in a way that is easy for kids to comprehend..
Developing countries need more awareness for this.
Many developed countries still don't get. There is an alarming number of people who still want to believe autism is the cause of vaccines and other such bullshit
Developing countries need socialism. That is, light socialism. Help the helpless tax the one percent stuff. And also development.
@@Iamlurking504 because socialism has worked soo fine for the third world
Because I'm autistic:
1. I find the world very confusing
2. I think very literally and logically
3. I have trouble with understanding facial expressions
4. I have poor social skills (and I can't just “learn”)
5. I sometimes have trouble expressing my emotions
6. I can get very concerned about “little” things
7. I can't for the life of me take a hint
8. I get agitated easily and get more agitated when pushed
9. I know firearms inside and outside, forward and backwards, and upside down (I can put together a pump action shotgun like Forrest Gump putting together an M14)
10. I have basic common sense in a world that barely has any left
I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism when I was 14. It's been a constant struggle to work in and around my way of perceiving and experiencing the world. Something that was really frustrating about a late diagnosis was that I spent most of my formative years trying to fit as square shape in a round hole of everyday life. Even now I still grapple with a lot of insecurities, uncertainties, and everyday life things that I know my neurotypical associates don't really experience or think about. That said, it's not all bad and I don't mean to startle anyone into thinking that living with autism is terrible, it's not. Like the video said it's just different.
I've spent the last few years, with the assistance of therapy, learning to process expressions and emotions. I've always been fascinated by body language ever since I found out about it as a way to communicate (I believe I was 21), so I read every book, and article I could on body language. Obviously, like spoken languages, how someone presents themselves physically is never going to be the same person to person, and even the texts I've read state "don't use this as a basis to compare ALL things. Just because someone doesn't look you in the eye doesn't mean they're necessarily lying. Or crossing arms/legs doesn't mean they're trying to close off." Even now I still struggle with audio input, as I'm typing this I'm focused on the clacking of my keys, the soft hum of my computer, the sound of the television on in another room. I hear it all, and as the video stated, it can be overwhelming. It's why, if I go out with friends, I'd prefer going to a quiet bar, or to see a show, so my mind can focus on one thing and one noise (unless someone has a cough, then I focus on the show and the cough).
One of the best things to see in recent years, is how much more inclusive and understood Autism is becoming. I've gone from being afraid to have people know that I have autism, to being comfortable letting my wall down and to tell people "Just so you know, if my eyes wander, it's not that I've lost interest, I'm still listening and I'm still processing, but prolonged eye contact is very unsettling for me. I thank you for understanding" and the amount of understanding has vastly changed from when I was diagnosed 18 years ago. I fully support children/adults with autism seeking therapy to help to better understand and give them the tools to help interact better with other typical and atypical alike.
Thank you for making this video.
Yep. What this guy said.
Yep. What this guy said.
I've been told that I am on the spectrum my entire life. I have never heard somebody so eloquently describe the experience of every day life for me. This an excellent portrayal of my personal experience.
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
3:14 This is why a lot of autistic people wear headphones, especially in crowds and loud events. It muffles the heightened noise we are perceiving and it's easier to function.Unfortunately, anything you do for yourself that looks atypical gets a social stigma, and there are people who try to shame you for it because "if other people dont need that, neither do you." Having an invisible disability can be pretty frustrating. I understand why people want to "normalize" things that get a bad reputation, but I think it would be ultimately better if neurotypicals made a bigger effort in being kind when they see something harmless that they dont understand.
I get so much shit from my family for always wearing headphones at the table because chewing and utensil noises drive me crazy. I don't even play anything in them.
My daughter wears her headphones nearly 24/7. It scares me that I won't always be there to protect her from the ignorance and harassment that she will be dealing with
My daughter has never been diagnosed, but she always had sensory issues with noise and smells. She is 20 now and has learned to adjust but it takes all her energy.
A lot of us wear earplugs too, it muffles the disturbing input.
PS: The foam ones are crap, the yellow rubber ones with three sizing rings are awesome 👍
@@edwardfletcher7790 I've been thinking about trying those but she is 10 and has tiny earholes. Plus I'm not sure how she would deal with he feeling of it but maybe it'll work better!
Help us to reach more parents and teachers to learn about autism: patreon.com/sprouts
High functioning is a myth, it's just a checklist of traits some people have and some don't. I have Aspergers and I find the term "high functioning" offensive as it belittles my struggles.
Yeah, I have "high functioning" Autism, because I have above average intelligence and (semi-decent) social skills, but I can't hold down a job or live independently due to my executive function and sensory difficulties. I think we should get rid of the labels "high functioning" and "low functioning" because every autistic person has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses.
Well everyone finds everything offensive
Any suggestions on a different 'name'? My partner is autistic and the best we've heard was 'better at masking', as an alternative to 'high functioning'. This was in reference to so many autistic people needing to mask their true selves just to get through the day, or unfortunately through ABA "therapy". My partner doesn't really mask as he doesn't need to in his daily life, so the term doesn't really fit him, but it seemed to be more appropriate as he said those who are 'high functioning' are often just better at masking vs the 'low function'. We are both glad it is now considered a spectrum. Lol the other 'term' we came up with was just to call the person by their name, avoiding the whole 'high vs low functioning' idea, and view the person individually as someone who is autistic, and these are the things specific to them. Eg: This is John, he likes programing computers, feeling the wind in his hair while riding a bike. He doesn't like textured foods like banana's, and hates scented candles. When meeting John he prefers no handshakes, but might offer a fist bump if he feels like it, please let John initiate the fist bump.
Personally I liked our 'just call them by their name' option, but doctors and researchers need terms, so any better terms you think they should use?
@@konysa3641 I believe the current official terminology is Support Levels 1, 2, and 3, for low support needs, moderate support needs, and high support needs. That said, some still aren't quite happy largely because autism isn't a simple 1-dimensional spectrum, but a full multidimensional rainbow where each autistic person has different degrees of each of the various autistic traits, and someone who's severely affected in one area may be almost unaffected in another, while someone else could have those two traits swapped in comparison. Neither is "more autistic" than the other, but the particular traits that are affected could affect how visible the overall condition is.
It's an indication of how you function in society, not internally.
I have austim but my friends and family love me anyway and I love them back.
I, too, have austim
I'm joking, please don't think I'm teasing you or anything
@@reclusiarchgrimaldus1269 Oh.
I remember a time where I wss sorts scared telling everyone that I am autistic in online spaces but as I got used to telling it, it just becomes less of a fright and more of something that you will to tell.
I too have autism and my family also loves me. Tho.... I don't love everyone in it and I can critical of their actions (if situations requires)
Also finding friends / someone to trust isn't that simple for me, as I tent to be self centered and stays on the same boat longer than others (like that time when my ex-PS4 friends wanted to play other things than Overwatch and I feld "betrayed", so I bought Rainbow 6 out of spite and later trade it for something else)
@@d3nny_s3mpai Oh.
One of the challenging things when having a form of autism is that everyone always talks about being tolerant and fair to people with disabilities. So you assume they are, behave normal, and suddenly everyone hates you for no reason. The actual reason is, that people are not tolerant and fair with social disabilities, only with specific, accepted, physical ones.
There is also an additional problem here for people with autism: they do something entirely different than what they said they would. Imagine this like a game where you are supposed to reach a goal, but you are only allowed to walk on blue tiles. So you do walk to the goal on blue tiles as required, but then everybody agrees that you have lost. And they tell you it is because you haven't touched the blue tiles, and they are adamant about it.
Only later you learn that when they said blue tiles they actually meant the yellow ones. So the next time you play the game you learned and walk on only yellow tiles. But again they tell you that you have lost, because this time the blue tiles are the green tiles. And for some reason that changes every time you play this game, and somehow everyone always magically knows which color is the current 'blue', except for you.
I think you’re colorblind
@@exgg591 🤦♂️ lmao
This was a HORRIBLE analogy. I have two boys on the spectrum. They're incredibly different from one another but your analogy fits neither- or perhaps none.
Nobody hates the mentally ill. When you misbehave, expect to be called on it.
@@Dias_De_Noe everyone is different. Just because you have two boys on the spectrum doesn't mean you can speak for every person on it
i feel like video is actually perfect for people neurodivergent . Less background noisey music so can concentrate. the speed the tone , very well 🤩
2:23-4:57 explains me so well it's spooky. In my 20s, I learned to emulate normal people and wore what I internally called "masks". I got very good at impersonating people and faking it enough to where I even dated, married, and held jobs. It's extremely tiring and painful to keep up and has probably contributed to my depression in my 40s. Now I found it harder to wear that normal mask, and have become very rude and brash. I no longer have that masking ability, though I sincerely wish I did.
Carl, your brief story is very impressive to me. I cannot imagine how it must be to try and function today in a world through your eyes. I find it amazing what you accomplished in this insane world this long and to make it into your 40's. I must ask, with the masks you trained yourself to wear, do you think it helped you to where you are now, and being unable to don the masks any longer, would you still do it just to continue living the way you did, or is there a freedom inherent in the lost masking ability?
Wow. Are you me? I'm a few years younger I suppose, but I also grew up when autism wasn't as well understood as it is now. My nephew is officially on the spectrum, and my sister says she sees SO MANY things he does that are red flags that I used to do. I always called it "putting on different faces" in different social situations... and my name is Carl too.
Weird.
Me too.
I was fortunate to be bullied heavily by those that didnt know me, but revered by those at did. Opened my young mind to understanding that most people are fickle and sheep. Allowed me to not force myself into a box that wasnt for me, to be myself and if that didnt fit with others, screw them. I ended up with small groups of friends, but as I was honest and never cruel, ended up with hundreds of acquaintances. Sorry you had to take the longer, harsher way around...but youre here now. Be whom you are, let friends, acquaintances and enemies sort themselves out.
Man, this video is almost really cool.
As a person with high functioning autism, it feels inaccurate to label heightened senses of sound and touch as a “superpower”, even though the consequences are covered in the video. I believe that everything is a double-edged sword. The perception of high functioning autism of being intelligent can be problematic as well, because with associated labels comes with the expectation of being intelligent. This is why “Aspergers Syndrome” isn’t officially used anymore and not in the DSM-5.
Another potentially problematic implication this video presents is that that therapy exists to make people neurotypical, rather than giving them tools to function in a neurotypical world. From my lifelong experiences of therapy (counseling, physical, occupational, & behavioral) it exists to help people improve, not strip people of their individuality or belittle neurodivergent people into falling into line.
A lot of this video really hits home, but some important pieces really miss the mark, at least for me.
A major problem, not to sound like an asshole. Is when you are this intelligent. You see the world and how deeply flawed and courupted it really is. It's hard to find inner peace. But it's a journey I have been on lately.
@@sirwahthemonke well aren't you a little ray of sunshine.
@@tylerhansen1892 you should strive to be yes
did you also find the music super distracting then? o,o
I didn't get the feeling they portrayed it as a "superpower", they focused almost exclusively in the problems it causes.
Personally, I have the heightened sense of hearing thing. I don't feel like I'm better at hearing things than others though, instead I just have a very hard time focusing on conversations in social settings, rendering me largely unable to converse in family gatherings and so. I can't just tune out all the rest of the noise to follow one conversation (or even multiple) like other people seem capable of doing.
I don't have the tactile over-sensitivity thing, so I can't personally comment on it, but I have never heard an autist describe any sort of advantage from it. Instead it just makes certain aspects of everyday life harder, such as not being able to wear certain clothes because the material makes their skin go mad.
I think that we autistic people should be celebrated for being the unique people that we are.
Imo we shouldn't since over celebrating things leads to glorification and then more opposition and hate, we should be just seen as normal people.. because we're just normal people.
Tru tho
Autistic people are just different people.
Generally its better if we're all just less judgmental.
The problem with "high functioning" autism is the fact that while humanity is generally willing to accommodate somebody with more extreme needs, everybody looks at you (the high functioning autistic) and expects you to conform and "be normal"
Since you don't look like you're autistic, your autistic quirks get you ridiculed or fired from work, people are needlessly rude and offensive. I don't think that you should be given special privileges as an autistic. The problem is, and this is the biggest issue, is that nobody wants to hire you with these kinds of problems if they can't get a paycheck from uncle sam in exchange for it.
I don't think disability pay is the way of the future for atypical people, it's much better for universality. A level of fairness in that distribution, why would my typical friends who can easily handle a job, be forced to work while I get a disability check and told to stay home because I'm unwanted in the workplace, OR be hired on so the company can pull incentive programs from the government for hiring me, giving me a lighter workload or a looser leash than my co-workers.
We're all humans, and we should all be treated with respect by our fellow humans, and unfortunately that's just an autistic ideal, to believe we could ever actually achieve a world where nobody is left behind, even the lazy and the assholes deserve to live their lives.
@@SherrifOfNottingham well said
Everyone wants to be celebrated for being special. Sorry, you're not special. Get over yourself.
I'm 57 and was diagnosed with autism in my early forties. I am considered high functioning because I am very independent and can do a lot of things on my own. However, I struggled with academic learning, and I still have some mild developmental disabilities, which requires that I remain in a supportive living environment. I will never be able to hold down a job or live on my own. I have enough trouble retaining information and remembering things, which is pretty shocking considering I can recall things that have happened in the past, and I can develop pretty accurate knowledge of my most favorite celebrities and interests. But as a female, because I tend to mask my autism to fit in to certain social situations, what I wish for more than anything is to be accepted for who I am and properly understood. Just because I am smart and knowledgeable about a lot of things, it doesn't mean I don't have autism, and it doesn't mean I don't struggle and don't have any developmental delays. I struggle every day. It's why I currently live in a supportive living group home. I love my life now. I receive behavirol and occupational therapy, sometimes I do art therapy, plus I swim, bowl, and get out into the community every week. My life is full and meaningful, and most important, I am happy and thriving. I wouldn't trade it in for anything in this world. Also, autism cannot be changed or cured. While therapy can benefit us in many ways, we will not benefit from it if we are not accepted as we are and not taught to embrace our autism and it's upsides. We have a lot to offer and teach the world, but we cannot thrive if we are misunderstood and forced to become something that we are not, and that is to be like everybody else, the so called typical people. ❤
these people who wrote this are heroes, I've struggled my entire life having no way to give and find my outlet and am the described personality of hyperactivity and order, it really turns your world on it's head. Nobody even knows I'm of the Spectrum or some can tell immediately because of how I articulate and handle my mannerism and character generally, therapy AND assurance delving into ans accepting such is BOTH good and needed in many situations I cannot even word how amazing this is finding others who truly understand and broaden the info on the spectrum
There are many of us , we should all get together ! .... oh no we can't because we can't socialise 😐In reality Autistic people in general communicate just fine amongst their own kind , just as NT's do their own .
Embrace who you are knowing there are millions of us who when we cross paths get along just great 😊
A lot of people i know are hyperactive, i find myself also sometimes hyperactive. It could be good to use that trait in job or when you need to multitask, or train, or doing chores. More of a problem that i noticed with some people are attention deficiency, or more precisely trouble, disorder to focus at one task in front of you, that can be problematic. I also sometimes can't focus, so i need to physically tire myself to calm down so that i could focus on other important things.
@@milosstojanovic4623 lmao I wish, I can't even go to the store without throwing up or my spit getting thick from anxiety and my heart feeling stabbing pains at least 3 heavy times every week, being so afraid in believing everything in the world is luck and out if my hand that I could be asked by someone ANYONE "I'll get you what you need"
"who hurt you ill make it better" you could swear you'd make something better if I gave more information and I cannot even get out a single word lmaoo this world aucks
@@hybrid6692 I'd say that too but I've given so many people so many chances been out there and seen it already just to be backstabbed and now I really am too scared to even put myself out there in general lmao not worth it anyways imo. but I'm proud some people have faith
@@Lu_Bu__ im sorry, you really need to talk to someone close about your problems. I dont have some heavy anxiety or anything similar, but it sometimes happens because of pressure of the world, and life, but control is very important. And if needed seeking professional help.
Very well done video...
(I guess I’m not autistic, I’m just weird)
@phone acc I’m sorry, what?
If you want to be sure, you may take a special test
@phone acc why is being autistic “cool”? I genuinely don’t know what you mean like if you are serious or joking or if you mean something different. I am autistic so I could very well be missing your point. but autism isn’t some trend. I hate how it’s like some people want to be autistic or have anxiety and depression when they just don’t. And I’m not referring to your comment I’m just saying in general I hate when people treat it as a cool new thing as if people who really have it don’t suffer from it everyday. Having an illnesses isn’t “cool”. Sorry mini rant
@phone acc oh okay :)
@@Jaenalana finally someone says it
the part where timo cant generalize things and that can make it difficult to learn because they constantly try to apply logic to it... i felt like my whole life has been answered. ive struggled like this and my mom constantly tells me im smart so i should be able to do this easily but its small things that just confuse me and if exact directions arent given, i panic because i dont know the whole picture. its like a puzzle. you are assembling a puzzle of a boat and the whole boat so far looks yellow. you assume the last piece will be yellow since the rest of the boat is yellow, but what if its not? what if its red? you just dont know. thats why its hard to generalize because i need the exact not just a summary. summaries leave open holes and those holes cause confusion later on.
Thanks for sharing
Learn what a fallacy is.
Learning to let go and trying to do something without knowing the result will help.
Part of the issue is that you might be afraid to fail/waste too much time but it’s best to work out those issues by trying and failing with small things when you’re young so that you have the practice for when you’re older.
Don’t be afraid to mess it up. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong. It’s a learning process and by failing and doing things wrong, you will learn the process and you will learn how to figure out the process that works for you.
@@umiluv That is exactly what an Authistic Brain CANT do. It can get better at it, but, will never be as good at it as the Average Person. For some, even with MUCH work, it will stay more or less this way.
fucking hell, my adhd diagnosis explained a ton of things about myself but left a few questions unanswered. Now I see those last questions answered as well by ASD. That's a lot to discover abou yourself in one year.
As someone on the spectrum, I say you should do both provide therapy and celebrate who we are. Therapy can help us learn to understand people and ourselves, and celebrating who we are can keep us from feeling like outcasts and unwanted because we are different.
Fuck no I'd rather be treated like a normal person ☠️☠️
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.
I'm high functioning and it drives me absolutely insane. I can physically feel a mental cloud distorting my reality and understanding. I appear to have in depth understanding and knowledge in subjects I'm interested in but really I still struggle to understand it in a way I can communicate it to others. I often think to myself that this disorder would have been advantageous in primitive and more simplistic times but the world is so complex now that really it's just impossible to ever integrate or have any chance. The western world seems to be moving in the direction of a more feeling orientated society which puts me at even more of a disadvantage. Truthfully I think there's no desire to integrate people like me into society because it's simply too costly to set up programs or provide proper treatment. It's similar to how veterans are treated when they can't cope with civilian life, it's just too big of an investment for governments to bother so they just throw them in the trash and many are homeless or take their lives. 80% of people on the autistic spectrum are unemployed for a reason, I'm one of them.
I feel you
Hey mate, no hard feelings, but I just want to say: functioning labels are bullshit and they are deeply rooted in eugenics. (agree with the rest of your comment tho)
I didn't know this in the beginning too, that's why I annoy everyone with my little lecture:
like for example, what even is high functioning? it's not something you can easyly define.
like if you would for example say that high functioning is someone who can do laundry - then alot of non autistic pempered man-babies who need their mom to know what clothes to buy would be considered "low functioning" even tho they might or might not have good paying high tier manager jobs...
so would you call someone who can't even sew on a button or buy their own food high functioning, if they have a high tier manager job and earn alot of money?
it also comes down to how we treat people who are unable to work: in capitalism you are just worth something if you can earn money.
if you are burning down the rainforest, doesn't matter because you made millions!
the thing is: you don't have to do anything to be valid as a human being. to be a person.
also like you said: this world isn't built for us, therefore we don't even get the chance to do a "normal job". the ironic thing is: if capitalism would give a single fuck about us, we could bring alot of "value" to their system 🤷but yeah, we're just never "highly functioning" enough.
so in essence "high functioning" and "low functioning" is capitalism dehumanizingly deviding us into the categories of "can do something usefull for society" and being kind of unworthy and a burden (which is bullshit!!!!!! but what capitalism does). You know who coined this kind of thinking? yeah right, the big bad German guy who started ww2.
do you know who coined the word "asperger" which is sometimes synonymous with "high functioning"? yeah, right, a n*zi doctor who did take part in some of the warcrimes of the n*zis. hence why I stopped calling myself aspi and started just be like "yeah I am autistic and autism is a spectrum therefore everyone is different"
you know back then the difference between "high functioning" and "low functioning" was litteraly the difference between life and death. the n*zi believe that there is worthy and unworthy life
autisticandunapologetic.com/2018/04/21/hans-aspergers-crimes/
so idk, learning about all of this, calling someone "high functioning" feels more like them saying "I know you are not a fully worthy human, but you are still good enough to be exploited by capitalism, so I don't think you are so unworthy that you are completely useless". If you still see it differently, after what I explained here: cool, you do you mate. seriously. But I think most people who still call themselves however functioning just don't know about the implications yet.
@@CristalianaIvor that is a fundamentally wrong understanding of what capitalism is.
@@CristalianaIvor and the disclaimer from your very uncredited source:
"Thank you for visiting Autistic & Unapologetic. Please note that the views and opinions expressed on this site are from one person (me).
I have done my very best to research every point I make (and then I have researched the research just to be extra careful).
However, despite this dedicated determination for accuracy, I am only human and sadly that means I can never be 100% certain that what I write is error free.
So yeah, make of that what you will, and I hope you enjoy what you see."
There is noy a single source or citation in the article you linked to.
It simple states a point an expects it to believed at face value.
Very disingenuous tactics to use against autistic people.
My son is high functioning & I constantly work to help his social deficits less pronounced. I researched transitioned programs years ago & was so disappointed that there are almost none for males on the spectrum. I’m so sorry. 🙏🏽
"Autism is not a disease and therefore cannot be cured", thank you so much for saying that. This is something many people have yet to understand.
It's bullsht
You can cure your autism.
Well said! It is a genetic disorder caused by DNA from more than one male being introduced into a female. When I was a kid, autism was 1 out of 1000's today it's almost everyone. The difference? Back then, women made a man use a condom or she got pregnant and usually married to the guy.
@@CB-pi5hc Hah! Yeah, go away troll.
@@CB-pi5hc yeah you can overcome it. Not saying it easy but it's possible.
Why are you giving up? Look into son-rise
I have high-functioning autism, so I thank you for not putting everyone on the autism spectrum in a box. I also thank you for not treating us like vegetables, sociopaths, or robots. It’s nice to see people who understand that we’re human and that we’re all different.
very relatable.
The hardest thing about autism is that you actually notice something but you don't know you think differently.
Before i was diagnosed i didn't even think i had autism, but i always felt like i left in a world i wasn't belonging to.
I also have adhd and sometimes both interfiere together, that's overwhelming.
The hardest thing is feeling overwhelmed and not understood, because we love being different
one sentence that always amused me to hear growing up was "you live in your own little world" which was used quite a lot towards me i must admit as i had quite an imagination to say the least lol, but i found it amusing for a different reason and thats because we all perceive the world slightly differently thanks to our differing degrees of senses and how all that data is sifted and sorted once it gets into the ol' noggin, "normal" or "stereotypical" is just a high percentage of people that view things in a very similar fashion, not right nor wrong just similar, autism was something i was aware of without really knowing anything about tbh until i watched a couple of tv drama series called Atypical and The End of the F...ing World which highlights very very different aspects of the very broad spectrum, i really enjoyed this video from Sprouts which is informative without being demeaning or judgemental and hopefully more of these kinds of things will make it into the mainstream mindset and educate people further
Would you make a video about ADHD.🙏🏼
already did :)
@@sprouts how about SAD(Social anxiety disorder)
or neurotypicals as they are really weird
No longer than :30 though please…
@@sprouts how about untreated adhd?
This explains a lot of things very well. Just to put in my own two cents, something my mother told me often: "Just because it's obvious to you, doesn't mean it's obvious to everyone else." Something that I didn't understand at the time, but over the 40+ years of my life has become a sort of mantra to help me deal with people who simply don't perceive the world the same way I do.
A great habit in life is to start out saying the obvious thing (to you)
I need to start doing this. I am getting far too frustrated with those around me being a bit behind the curve. Being behind a monitor and keyboard working from home for 2 years has masked it to the point I don't suppress the response anymore, and now that I'm back to the office... it's been a problem.
@@offensivearch this usually results in being questioned, and then having to explain your reasoning.. and them still not understanding, so having to explain it again, but differently... etc, until they finally by making 5 leaps of logic arrive at the same conclusion you lead with, only they now think it was their idea. I am learning to just let them have the credit, or even just sprinkling them with pieces of the idea until the lightbulb lights up. Leading with the obvious just takes longer in my experience, you need to prepare the ground first.
@@W1ldTangent Letting people have the credit / making them think it was their idea may be one of the best tools of persuasion that exists.
I think you are right depending on the situation. In my experience, too often I let something that was obvious to me slip by unsaid because I assumed it was obvious to others. Sometimes it is better to just say it so it is out there. It may not be so obvious to them. But if you have the time, intention, and need to eventually get to what you are saying in a more effective way that can be a good idea sometimes. The worst thing is to let it slip by unsaid though, that is why if it is a choice between not saying it and just being direct I choose being direct.
''What do you think?'' I'm autistic with asperger, always have been, and it's been somewhat nice to finally have had medical and social attention to determine that
As someone with autism, this kind of gave me an eye opener, as I was doing a lot of the stuff described in this video WHILE watching it!
@Beatrix In Christ As someone with Autism, I can wholeheartedly say that treatment, while good at first, can actually hinder them. I was on medication when I was younger that destroyed my ability to socialise, destroyed my diet, made my hygiene practically nonexistent and even stifled my growth. I decided one day to pretend to take my tablets and had massive differences just a few weeks later. I also have ADHD, and the tablets affected both my autism and ADHD and essentially led to them both conflicting in the worst way possible. Once I went off the medication (Which my parents stopped prescribing me shortly after due to previously mentioned issues), I pulled a complete 180 and essentially got my life back. I was more social and willing to talk, my diet opened up from exclusively Peanut Butter sandwiches to anything and everything, my self-care (Hygiene and so forth) became more important to me than sitting on my butt doing nothing all day again, and I shot up a dozen shoe sizes and from a small to a large/extra large set of clothes in 2 years.
@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧
Bugger off with this shit.
Therapy should be there to only help the child understand and get over society's fear of "different"... not to change it's personality. He/she is not less than normal. I would work more on that side.. of diseased society of labelling everything that is different from a "health perspective"...
The human animal dislike for things very similar to us but different slightly is a highly beneficial trait for the species. It helps in multiple areas including culling genetic abnormalities, protecting phenotypically recessive genes, improving cohesion within structured groups, and many other areas. Not having the ability to quickly encounter, categorize, and act on entirely new stimuli is a death sentence outside of ultra organized areas that humanity has created. The ability to tolerate and support those who fail to interact and thrive within their social group is a modern luxury. And we should never forget that that is true.
@@ColinTherac117
You mean to tell me... That people suffering from autism should be thankful for the society "helping them"? Thanking to the race that hold at a very high point inventive words as "abnormal", "handicapped", " slave"... Right...
The dude is talking that without our human minds capacity to organize in groups & categorize things, then genetic diseases, malformations & other problems would have destroyed humanity ages ago...
We have these problems like racism, sexism & others because our society ecolves faster than our bodies.
@@LauraMarin2709 He was just speaking from a evolutionary viewpoint. For all living things (human beings included), anything that doesn't fit into the norm or exposes it to high mortality rate, would have very little chance to make it to adulthood or to propagate. That undesirable trait would naturally die out or be limited. But human beings, being of higher intelligence and greater self awareness, forms very complex societies and concepts of how we treat each other. In the old days, people who were "wired" differently would just have been treated as "mad", "not right up there", "eccentric", "possessed" - and would have been ostracized. Many might not even have made it to adulthood. There would have been little chance of them forming families and passing on their genes.
Its also important to note that children with autism will not show all of the typical effects of it. For example, I have heightened senses and a desire for logic, but I understand people very well [I'm pretty sure] and don't have OCD whatsoever. And, despite what Hollywood will tell you, I am not an amazing hacker despite being high functioning, but I do have other hobbies, such as writing and psychology.
Don't let autism seem like something that will inhibit your ability to experience life and enjoy it. Even with how many people constantly hate on autism and treat it as a terrible thing, it will not end your life. Just alter some aspects of it and make things unique. Chase you dreams no matter what and be proud of who your are.
I’m very pleased to be successful with autism and to be their destiny.
I’m an adult on the Autism Spectrum and even though certain things still present challenges for me, I feel like I’m doing quite well. I’m learning to tolerate noisy environments, when I’m attending parties or when I’m out with my friends. I live alone, but I’m still near my parents, and my sister and her family sometimes come to visit us and vice versa. I’ve been to college and I’ve done volunteer work. I’ve dated and I had a boyfriend. I became an aunt to a beautiful niece four years ago. I write fan fiction and I have Zoom meetings with friends. There’s so much that you can accomplish, even with a disability.
Thank you for clarifying that this is not a disease to be "cured." I feel much of the general public does not fully understand this.
Autism Speaks is the devil. They have a very big hand in how it's portrayed to the public, and lobby for things like "cures" and abusive treatments, spreading the message that autism is a fate worse than death. For some, it might be. But it's not their right to decide.
@@elijahford3696 I gotta look into this
Just give them the good ole fuck you!
Gotta love yourself first and foremost, to hell with those you can't vibe with. You don't need such worthless company.
If there was a cure I'd take it. Why would I want to be like this? It has just made my life harder. "Superpower" indeed! Let's not mistreat autistic people but let's not glorify and coddle them as well.
Even if a cure is found I wouldn’t take it. I’m happy being autistic I’ve learn to accept it and learn to accept there’s no cure.
We should combine treatment with acceptance. I'm autistic, and as a result, I will never be a very social person. I will never be okay with eye contact. I will never care about others liking me. And because of my autism, I will likely never care that I can't do these things, I'll never want to do them. And that's fine. It's not harming anyone. But I also have limited fine motor control, difficulty communicating emotions on top of very intense emotions, sensory problems and I need a routine, but don't know how to build one. Those symptoms are major obstacles and I should be getting help. Help should be available.
Yeah it's funny how important they say eye contact is. Yet the more i think about it, harder it is to do.
So I don't think about it and let things play out naturally. 😁
Never say never. You can train yourself to do anything you want to.
Re: eye contact...the eyes are the window to the "soul" in that eye tissue is actually brain tissue. When you're looking at someone's eyes, you're actually looking at their physical brain. Creepy, eh? 👀
@@JeffCaplan313
Physically, no. I Physically can't do those things.
@@night_hunter4752
I just look at people's noses