Why People Don't Respect You

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  • Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
  • This is how you really gain respect from others.
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    Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I help people build themselves physically/mentally through fitness and self help videos.
    how to gain respect from others, gain respect from everyone, gain respect from girlfriend, how to be respected, how to command respect, why am i not respected, how to get respect from people, how to make people respect you, gaining respect, why people dont respect you, social skills

Комментарии • 690

  • @MJA5
    @MJA5 3 года назад +990

    I'm pretty sure you figured out some things a lot sooner than many others. I spent 20 years in the military, and we all accept that as a system based on merit (meritocracy, at least it used to be) and we had a saying, "respect is earned." But you've come to a core truth: before anyone else respects you, you have to respect yourself. This means that you respect yourself enough to improve yourself, to gain skills that are respectable, to influence others in a positive way, to do better for society. You will even hear clues, like when you were young and you did something for your dad, and he tells you, "son, you did a respectable job..." This is an affirmation and a clue. Have you ever watched someone do something amazing and think, wow, I would love to be able to do that, in essence, you have respect for them. You respect the hours and hours, maybe thousands of hours they have spent honing their craft. It could be cooking, handling weapons, playing an instrument. Any vocation. I was always in awe of people who handled horses well and I tried to emulate them. Respect shown is a positive for society, respectful people don't do wanton harm to others or animals or property, respectful people contribute, and respect is society's feedback for a job well-done. Some earn respect in unusual ways (innovator), some in more traditional ways (sports star), but it is a feedback loop. Most importantly, it is a give and take. Someone who has no respect for others will certainly gain none for themselves. What some think is respect that they garner is actually fear, and fear is the opposite of love. Do no harm, and much respect to you, sir!

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +89

      Love this guy. Thanks for sharing your knowledge

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +95

      I really regret not talking more about contributing to society in a positive way. That's so important

    • @MJA5
      @MJA5 3 года назад +52

      @@ColeHastings you knocked it out of the park, and it's a message many young people need to hear.

    • @rodogarcia8512
      @rodogarcia8512 3 года назад +18

      This post is a video in and of itself. Great post

    • @ducdu4136
      @ducdu4136 3 года назад +13

      Thx for your service and your message!

  • @newwavemusic6501
    @newwavemusic6501 3 года назад +1320

    I also noticed that when I treat people so nice they tend to treat me as rubbish.

    • @dagut7335
      @dagut7335 3 года назад +124

      @Kuba P but most of people think nice and respectful people are the fools

    • @dagut7335
      @dagut7335 3 года назад +120

      @Kuba P i swear dude that’s true, even girls when you treat them well they will think you are weak or weird, treat them like sh** and they will admire you

    • @asimanayak304
      @asimanayak304 3 года назад +68

      @Kuba P I dont think they are weak, they just take you for granted. Being nice is so not a common occurence. When you're acting nice, people feel somethings wrong. In another way people are also constantly chasing. They want to be after those who dont easily give respect. Sort of reverse psychology.

    • @originalprime9798
      @originalprime9798 3 года назад +112

      You are all right.
      The problem is, humans have used their Ego to built the world into hierarchies.
      So whenever you show respect to someone, they see you to be down the ladder and try to take you for granted.
      The world has become a surviving world instead of a heavenly world.
      So people perceive those who want to be kind as stupid.
      The truth is the love and respect you show to others is a reflection of what you are.
      Thank you.

    • @kymgarcia09
      @kymgarcia09 3 года назад +4

      Same

  • @WHOAM1894
    @WHOAM1894 3 года назад +621

    Some people choose not to respect us because of their own insecurities. I know I get respect from the people that deserve to be in my life. Those who know my worth like I do.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +41

      I respect that mindset a lot

    • @slxsarc.entertainment7906
      @slxsarc.entertainment7906 3 года назад +7

      Hmm frfr

    • @nettakay2116
      @nettakay2116 2 года назад +9

      Thank you. People judge you based on how you dress, income, zip code, car house etc. and then determine if you 'deserve' to be respected. No way am I blaming myself for that type of ignorance from people who don't even know me.

    • @WHOAM1894
      @WHOAM1894 2 года назад

      @@nettakay2116 Self-respect is the only way to get respect from others. Without self-respect, we can't understand what we expect respect to be.

    • @nettakay2116
      @nettakay2116 2 года назад +1

      ​@@WHOAM1894 Re-read your first comment where you talked bout people choosing not to respect you based on their own insecurities. That's what I was agreeing with. Your second comment is the total opposite...blaming a lack of self-respect for the insecurities of others.

  • @ICEcoldJT
    @ICEcoldJT 3 года назад +1085

    “Self-respect is the root of discipline. The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” 🙏🏽

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +52

      💯

    • @chris-pk5so
      @chris-pk5so 3 года назад +15

      JT I see you everywhere?!!

    • @trippycog
      @trippycog 3 года назад +9

      @@chris-pk5so its the grind, I believe one day JT its gonna have a big following 🔥

    • @PearlyFostter
      @PearlyFostter 3 года назад +1

      💥💥

    • @chris-pk5so
      @chris-pk5so 3 года назад +1

      @@trippycog fr

  • @oldwiseman5785
    @oldwiseman5785 3 года назад +542

    Never try to switch up for other people, if nobody respects you when you're being yourself, then you're destined to be a lone wolf, don't fake things, then you will make a bunch of friends that you don't actually resonate with.

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад +1

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,•••

    • @slxsarc.entertainment7906
      @slxsarc.entertainment7906 3 года назад +12

      Soo true......

    • @coffintears5821
      @coffintears5821 3 года назад +64

      Society hates nothing more than individualistic personalities that arent common.

    • @laselecta9012
      @laselecta9012 3 года назад +5

      I agree

    • @victory9015
      @victory9015 3 года назад +21

      My family members dont accept me. Because i can be alone, they think im weird and failure.

  • @TheLibraryOfEmotions
    @TheLibraryOfEmotions 3 года назад +295

    “Disrespect invites disrespect.” - Meryl Streep

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +24

      Indeed

    • @gabrielguzman6018
      @gabrielguzman6018 3 года назад

      What do you mean?

    • @heidiharris9227
      @heidiharris9227 3 года назад +10

      This quote brings me to the realization, actually everything he says is true, but in opposite form.....
      We start disrespecting ourselves and our bodies, when we are presented with disrespect, or lack of love rather.

    • @gabrielguzman6018
      @gabrielguzman6018 3 года назад +4

      @@heidiharris9227 I agree 100% I always say sometimes people aren't depressed or hate life until negative or disrespect comes to them even if you have good vibes that can all be demolished

    • @heidiharris9227
      @heidiharris9227 2 года назад +1

      @@gabrielguzman6018 yes it's so true! That's why we must be careful to love at all times! If we can love at the best of our ability!!

  • @kodyduclos5845
    @kodyduclos5845 3 года назад +250

    This entire video in one sentence: “People don’t respect you because you don’t respect yourself.”

    • @whiskeytalks
      @whiskeytalks 3 года назад +5

      Right 💯

    • @joshuabuchanan1141
      @joshuabuchanan1141 Год назад +9

      Nope not 100% true, other people are very shitty as well

    • @The_Lovey_Informer
      @The_Lovey_Informer 5 месяцев назад +4

      You can respect yourself and still be disrespected

    • @Anu-jh1ue
      @Anu-jh1ue 2 месяца назад

      Thanks For saving my time

    • @Hamza_Hesham
      @Hamza_Hesham 2 месяца назад

      @@The_Lovey_Informer if you really respect yourself, you'll stand up for those who disrespect you

  • @parkerrish9024
    @parkerrish9024 3 года назад +400

    Respect is a word that does not exist in our society anymore! How can someone respect you when they don't even know what respect is

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,,•••

    • @Joshdifferent
      @Joshdifferent 3 года назад +7

      Talk that shit

    • @hotstuff1167
      @hotstuff1167 3 года назад

      So what is it

    • @wakingupsad
      @wakingupsad 3 года назад +1

      ​@@Joshdifferent it's a weak as fuck statement mane. i let it hit directly. heart-to-heart man i was hoping for a feeling. i got nothing. this feeling is fake as anyone's bullshit. It's simple. He forgot and so did you bit encouragin that shit add a lil bit haha. Negative energy agitator yeah, I been there too it don't matter.
      I don't think about what others do I'm found. I'm all about me. I didn't let others in for years to SPITE me. I know my truth. Deep down I lock it down now. One last
      Fear is never near the creation of it. Balance & Composure defeats every thing in mind for me

    • @wakingupsad
      @wakingupsad 3 года назад

      @Arthnel Edwards 1-2-3 strikeout I never saw the bat off his shoulder move an inch

  • @tatishortcake3196
    @tatishortcake3196 3 года назад +122

    “Not telling people what they want to hear” That honestly just completely changed the way I looked at thing.

  • @jbela
    @jbela 3 года назад +75

    I had some people that didn't reciprocate, talk over me, ask favors,talk down on me . I pretty much let them know that I'm aware. Some ol them stopped talking to me, but most had started respecting me. It's the name of the game.And some I let go too.

    • @mario125ww
      @mario125ww 3 года назад +10

      Yeah that is lol. I had smiliar situations. Im learning you really can't get people to respect you better rather find people who naturally want to vs who don't and kicked them out.

  • @cdiessner711
    @cdiessner711 3 года назад +92

    That part about letting go of what others think is so important. I think a lot of people trying to gain more respect assume that ALL of their social interactions should be buttery smooth, but even for people with natural charisma, that's rarely ever the case.

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,•••

  • @joel8708
    @joel8708 3 года назад +112

    People tell me that "there are a lot of good people out there" but then when they see you insecure and weak they destroy you completely. Where is this goodness?

    • @SombreroBeanieHat
      @SombreroBeanieHat 3 года назад +17

      I have felt that.

    • @mario125ww
      @mario125ww 3 года назад +23

      There are good people out there still. It's just there in the minority category unfortunately. Being Christian I was always taught to respect people no matter what so it bothers me that people feel like they can disrespect others because they view them as weak. Idk I just hate what the world is coming to

    • @joel8708
      @joel8708 3 года назад +15

      @@mario125ww good people are rare, in fact, there's a high probability that you'll never meet them in your entire life

    • @mario125ww
      @mario125ww 3 года назад +3

      @@joel8708 I agree that the safest options is to be selfish to some degree however I would say christian people I. General are good people. In my life, Christians have the higher probability of being extremely pure if they truly trying to be like Jesus. And I met a few of those

    • @joel8708
      @joel8708 3 года назад

      @@mario125ww Are Christians Good People? but if most of them sow ignorance and homophobia. They are often closed-minded and archaic.

  • @aaronaustrie
    @aaronaustrie 3 года назад +78

    You earn my respect bro. You've earned a new subscriber

  • @KyleGood
    @KyleGood 3 года назад +30

    Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.
    Provide value in whatever ways you can!

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +10

      Agreed. But also take care of yourself as well!

    • @KyleGood
      @KyleGood 3 года назад +4

      @@ColeHastings haha of course my friend, to change the world, you must first BE the change!!!

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +5

      Much love to you

    • @KyleGood
      @KyleGood 3 года назад +4

      @@ColeHastings your a real one Cole, truly!
      I would love to someway somehow make something with you as a smaller creator.
      Just a boy dreaming big haha

    • @joel8708
      @joel8708 3 года назад +1

      It's not true at all

  • @hebaabofakher7602
    @hebaabofakher7602 3 года назад +20

    remember guys do not be nice so much with others
    specially those who just met

  • @KyleGood
    @KyleGood 3 года назад +183

    Happiness doesn't result from what we get, but from what we give.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +10

      Love that

    • @AmbientWanderer
      @AmbientWanderer 3 года назад +11

      I absolutely disagree with that statement.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +3

      @@AmbientWanderer what's your take? Curious to hear

    • @AmbientWanderer
      @AmbientWanderer 3 года назад +13

      @@ColeHastings well, i'm not saying that giving does not provide some sort of benefit/ value or happiness, because it absolutely can do. But just giving while not looking at our own flaws will not reflect so well on those that we are 'giving' to. If more people were to focus on self improvement then 'giving' or sharing our experiences or knowledge to others would be far more valuable to those who need it.
      I think we also need more honesty from people and society in general, with less pampering and more hard honest truths. How often do people say to someone with a bad posture or if they are overweight , say "hey, you need to really fix the way you look because it just does not look good" instead people tend to hear the same old rubbish such as "just be a nice guy, and you'll be fine"or "you look great just the way you are" etc...
      Sorry I know i went a little off topic, but i just wanted to express how i feel.

    • @ducdu4136
      @ducdu4136 3 года назад +4

      @@AmbientWanderer I think it depends where you are in your life. You have some good points. I think we all have improvements to do and we can’t give someone what we don’t have.

  • @ferox7840
    @ferox7840 3 года назад +35

    I'm in process of gaining respect. Sometimes I almost phisically feel this respect from others and it feels good. Cole, you're doing great job with videos, thank u.

  • @lifewithbakari1413
    @lifewithbakari1413 3 года назад +41

    “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones.”

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,,•••

    • @Seth6581
      @Seth6581 3 года назад

      Excellent comment bro 😎

  • @renemartz1520
    @renemartz1520 3 года назад +74

    Trying to not be too nice, or not being a people pleaser is really really hard for me. Especially being an ENFJ personality type. I'm a work in progress I guess lol. Thanks for the advice! ❤😊

    • @coffintears5821
      @coffintears5821 3 года назад +6

      Im an infp i feel your pain

    • @enigma4141
      @enigma4141 2 года назад +1

      ISFJ : Completly agree

    • @notstonkss9417
      @notstonkss9417 Год назад +1

      Oh pls believing in MBTI is like believing in Tarot cards..

    • @thesevenkingswelove9554
      @thesevenkingswelove9554 Год назад +1

      @@notstonkss9417 mbti is somewhat believable than Tarot cards

    • @notstonkss9417
      @notstonkss9417 Год назад +2

      @@thesevenkingswelove9554 it's just a silly way of placing labels on yourself

  • @abundantras6287
    @abundantras6287 3 года назад +38

    “Here is the manliness of manhood, that a man has a good reason for what he does, and has a will in doing it.” -Alexander MacLaren.

  • @TakeBackYourMind997
    @TakeBackYourMind997 3 года назад +32

    Can't wait to watch this til the end! Predictions - stop people pleasing, learn to respect yourself, get validation from yourself not others.

  • @simon3431
    @simon3431 3 года назад +43

    I feel like you're my older brother lmao. thank you so much for the advice. awesome content :D

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +10

      That's what I'm here for brotha

  • @cornbreadpapi
    @cornbreadpapi 3 года назад +134

    Needed this today. I don't feel too respected at my new job and this is probably why.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +17

      much love brother

    • @yoongis.tangerine
      @yoongis.tangerine 3 года назад +14

      i felt this in my first job. still traumatized to this day.

    • @Gaze73
      @Gaze73 3 года назад +6

      Happened to me too but I don't think it was my fault. People decide if they're gonna respect you in 10 seconds, the same way women decide if you're good enough for them. Being 6ft tall works in both cases. It's hard to not respect a guy you literally look up to.

    • @rksilvally
      @rksilvally 3 года назад +3

      @@Gaze73 talking like that is only wasting time you could be bettering yourself. no bitterness, only a drive to improve

    • @Gaze73
      @Gaze73 3 года назад +4

      @@rksilvally Yeah I should work on being 6ft tall.

  • @bradleyspinks7922
    @bradleyspinks7922 3 года назад +24

    This is why the book No More Mr Nice Guy is one of the books every guy should read.

    • @Aaron-fb6mb
      @Aaron-fb6mb 3 года назад

      What that

    • @bradleyspinks7922
      @bradleyspinks7922 3 года назад +4

      @@Aaron-fb6mb A book by Doctor Robert Glover. It explains how to get what you want in life, how to handle confrontation the correct way, not to come off as passive aggressive, relationship goals etc. Honestly it's like the mens bible to greatness. Check it out mate

  • @edgarlnx9119
    @edgarlnx9119 3 года назад +59

    Saying yes to doing everything for everyone? Yes, that is a big mistake! People treat you like crap if you always say yes.

  • @meowme6349
    @meowme6349 9 месяцев назад +3

    Now I understand why people never respected me. I was a people pleaser. I had so much of love to give and they took advantage of it to a point that I never got time for myself and I ended up sacrificing my life for others. And when I was broken and dead inside no one even cared. This time I'm giving my time for myself to respect myself. Thank you. I needed myself now more than ever.

  • @ryanbarker3978
    @ryanbarker3978 3 года назад +50

    I agree about people pleasing and the majority of this video but bad habits can be taught to somebody by a poor environment. A well adjusted person can easily be broken down by a dysfunctional environment.

  • @wamz3072
    @wamz3072 3 года назад +37

    I really love the video. Very insightful and as a teenager viewing most of your content, it does help me develop my character more at a good age, as well as make me realize the rights and the wrongs that I am doing/making , and what I can do to improve. I have been watching your content for a quite a bit now, and I love what you do. Thank you so much for sharing your advice.

    • @halcyon_echo42
      @halcyon_echo42 3 года назад

      Definitely show it to some friends; this stuff takes years to work out for most people, myself included.

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency now !!especiallyBitcoin,do you experience difficulty in tradingWH/APP in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,•••

  • @mika7470
    @mika7470 3 года назад +8

    I'm learning English with RUclips and I'm glad that I found your channel, you raise important issues, best regards!

  • @nthoney4557
    @nthoney4557 3 года назад +9

    I dont need others respect me,cause i am a person having kind heart.i don't care you respect me or not. I do the right thing and treat people nice.love your video.your voice is so charming.

  • @ColeHastings
    @ColeHastings  3 года назад +45

    If you agree, If you disagree, let's talk about it. Would love to know what y'all think. Thanks for watching ❤
    Exclusive content/1 on 1 advice: patreon.com/colehastings

    • @nora-mb9tz
      @nora-mb9tz 3 года назад

      I cannot change myself eventhough i am trying , im so nice to others , but i feel that make them deal arrogantly or disrespect me sometimes , and still i let it slide i cannot be rude to stop it from first time i always give many chances before i blow up hhh , bcz i know that my patience has limits and i have to set up boundaries and speak up for myself , and what happen they bcm chocked and refuse to appologize , that is why i decide to take a distance from the friendship and be far. But this make me sad sometimes especially that i immigrate to foreign country and i need a friends so badly i feel that i cannot enjoy nothing without them and at the same time i cannot be with someone who does not respect me and that think themselves r superior just bcz im modest person and i dont like to show off. I always care a lot abt anybody how he will feel before saying a word and i never want to hurts their feelings , as a result i recieve the opposite in the return.and one thing i do respect everyone and i dont care how they look or what is their religion or their education level.what really matters for me is their personality and values but unfourtuntley they don't.

    • @kylemonkiewicz2803
      @kylemonkiewicz2803 2 года назад +1

      I think it's a great opinion with a lot of truth but I don't understand our culture obsession with looks respect is different in different places. But I ultimately agree that in order to have respect you must respect and love your self first

  • @faizankazi99
    @faizankazi99 3 года назад +13

    Man, you're really making me think differently about life in general bro. Keep up the great content!!!

  • @leanhnguyet71
    @leanhnguyet71 3 года назад +10

    Respecting others means to respect yourselves , it's easy to be seen in your way of speaking out in communication .

  • @MahdiFilms
    @MahdiFilms 3 года назад +43

    I love how to the point this one is. Also I notice some improvements in your editing. Great stuff!
    I’m a fan of this faster passed style. Seems a lot more structured.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +2

      Thanks man! Usually I like storytelling a little more but maybe this is optimal

  • @Yashsharmavlogs20
    @Yashsharmavlogs20 3 года назад +27

    Everytime cole upload a video my mind says how the hell does he know i am facing this thing 😮

  • @grantpack410
    @grantpack410 2 года назад +7

    Great video man! Ive been working on loving myself more and respecting myself more. A few months ago I deleted my social media and boy let me tell you it has helped wonders!

  • @newdaynewlife2832
    @newdaynewlife2832 3 года назад +3

    Today I was thinking why I am so nice with people and your video comes out on time, thank you sir for helping others.

  • @Ines_Ella
    @Ines_Ella 3 года назад +3

    You have no idea how much I needed this
    Thank You 😊

  • @janettejanners7714
    @janettejanners7714 Год назад +1

    I love this video!! This is exactly how I was when I was younger. When I changed the way I thought about myself, other ppl changed too, I don’t go out of my way as much to help ppl anymore, as you just get taken for granted. Respect yourself and others, but don’t take any crap

  • @jasonn_lifts
    @jasonn_lifts 3 года назад +80

    AYO, why is Manz calling me out like that?😡😡😡😭

  • @juangabriel6747
    @juangabriel6747 2 года назад +3

    I am shy. I stand like one. But I love people and I'm not a jerk. Everyone is different.

  • @FruityHachi
    @FruityHachi 3 года назад +50

    I might be probably one of the few who respects people regardless of their body language or physical appearance
    i dress myself casually most of the time and also to doctor’s appointments and i was so disappointed when I found out that even doctors are that superficial that they treat patients better if they look elegant and wear gold jewellery

    • @halcyon_echo42
      @halcyon_echo42 3 года назад +1

      I think it's partially subconscious bias due to the fancy type being in group with them and having weekend adventures they can regail each other with; and then of course the better looking you are the more likely they are to be attentive to your care yeah.

    • @MingusTale
      @MingusTale 3 года назад +1

      You can't change human nature man and it doesn't make you special to. You can dress casually and not buy into certain parts of it but if you look bad, people can tell you don't care, you look underconfident etc, it illicits a natural negative response and I dunno why you would do that to yourself.

    • @FruityHachi
      @FruityHachi 3 года назад +4

      @@MingusTale i didn't say that it makes me special
      but a person who "looks bad" may be because they suffer from depression (skipping grooming as one of the signs of depression), imagine how a person must feel who is depressed and on top of that is being treated like a second-class citizen or like air, like they don't even exist
      or they may have overslept and were in a hurry or they're taking care of someone and cannot find the time to look after themselves (a sick family member or parents who take care of kids often have baggy eyes or just put a coat over their pyjama)
      i don't judge people based on their appearance because i don't know what that person may be going thru, it may be "human nature" to judge people how they look but i don't know why you'd treat a person differently just because they "look bad", sounds like lack of empathy and a superiority complex

    • @MingusTale
      @MingusTale 3 года назад +1

      @@FruityHachi I'm not saying I don't have compassion for people who don't look great. That I just ignore them or sth. I'm saying in society it helps you and there's no point not putting effort into yourself. Unless you're actually depressed like you said, there's no excuse. If someone is depressed, they can't function in many ways that they would prefer to, of course one should have empathy for that. I also don't think we should be obsessed with our appearance to the point of insecurity. It's about having that mindset you should have for everything - take control of what you can reasonably control, and accept what you cannot. You can control your haircut, your clothes, and being vaguely fit. You can't change your face, your entire body type, your race etc. People underestimate the impact of the things that are under their control and are pretty low effort once you get the hang of it.

    • @FruityHachi
      @FruityHachi 3 года назад

      ​@@MingusTale "I'm saying in society it helps you and there's no point not putting effort into yourself. Unless you're actually depressed like you said, there's no excuse."
      some people may just not care what others think of them and don't dress/groom to impress strangers, some people have different priorities may consider it more important to take care of their kids/a sick family member or to hurry somewhere or whatever else
      they may get dressed up for a date night but not when they're grocery shopping
      just because someone doesn't look great is not excuse for others to treat them differently (i'm not saying you do, but others, that "in society it helps")
      of course that you should control what you can (haircut, clothes), but i disagree that it's excusable for others to treat a person differently just because they're not groomed/dressed up

  • @avory7938
    @avory7938 3 года назад +12

    Damn, I always have my hands in my pockets 24/7, it has always felt right to me.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +6

      Indeed, cause it makes you feel less vulnerable subconsciously

  • @vjbele
    @vjbele 3 года назад +7

    Thank you so much for this video dude. Coincidentally I've been trying to work on this recently; I have a good foundation of self-respect for myself now, but I'm trying to have it trickle down into my friends as well. It feels super uncomfortable at first, but the key is just repetition.

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      I•N•V•E•S•T I•N C•R•Y•P•T•O
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P
      +•1•9•0•9•3•7•2•0•8•6•9......

  • @ryanxu8715
    @ryanxu8715 3 года назад +3

    Very nice and inspiring video. I very much agree with your point about saying yes to everyone. I was taught at a young age to please people and be nice to everyone to my fullest capabilities for the reason that "they would appreciate you and reciprocate". However, as time went on, I found out that most people merely saw me as a pushover and had been using me for favors.

  • @damnbeezy7136
    @damnbeezy7136 3 года назад +11

    I initially show everyone respect, but once they think it’s sweet I take my mask off and they get scared

  • @rapidohernandez
    @rapidohernandez Год назад +1

    last message is gold

  • @elmeromogollon
    @elmeromogollon 2 года назад +11

    My friends didn't respect me but I know its not my fault, some people are just assholes and they need to be assholes to feel better about how shit they are, I stopped blaming myself for what people do, I haven't talked with my friends for weeks and I feel way better.

  • @atkscootering
    @atkscootering 3 года назад +3

    Fr though man what your saying makes so much sense! Everytime I wanna smoke weed again I think of how much its impacted my life in a negative way. I almost yell at myself in my head to get my shit together otherwise i'm going to be unhappy in the future. Thanks for all these videos bro you've helped me a lot I have mad RESPECT for you. Sending positive vibes from New Zealand peace and love to you all whanau. (In New Zealand whanau means family

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,,•••

  • @erikstorgaard2778
    @erikstorgaard2778 3 года назад +5

    This is so valuable. You have some very cool insights!

  • @z31Joshyman
    @z31Joshyman 2 года назад +3

    Really loving your channel bud, it's been really helpful.

  • @JayW6
    @JayW6 3 года назад +4

    Hey man i just wanted to say you're videos have been really helping me get out of some rough patches in life recently, thank you

  • @theoofer478
    @theoofer478 3 года назад +23

    I mean to be honest, respect isn't something you just *have*. This applies to the people who don't respect you too. So it may not just be you that is the problem.

    • @jbela
      @jbela 3 года назад

      What comes around goes around

    • @theoofer478
      @theoofer478 3 года назад

      @@jbela Yup.

    • @Cookedfrfrfr
      @Cookedfrfrfr 9 месяцев назад

      @@jbela Karma

  • @aaronaustrie
    @aaronaustrie 3 года назад +5

    And STOP caring what ppl think of you!

  • @josegray666
    @josegray666 2 года назад +3

    It's more exciting when people judge you and disrespect you by your looks.... only to realize later that you're more than that thanks to your work and talents. The greatest minds out there were heavily disrespected until the world saw their talents. Sometimes respecting oneself is not enough to be respected by others... and you'll never feel like you measure up if you are always expecting someone else's validation. Be nice, treat others the way you want to be treated, take care of yourself and go after your interests... if that's not enough to be respected by someone, just move on and find other people who actually do.

  • @CampaignerFilms
    @CampaignerFilms 3 года назад +10

    Lol. An ad interrupted you mid sentence. I heard, "As the stoics used to say, If you're a homeowner concerned about the cost of solar..."

  • @RealityMFiction
    @RealityMFiction 3 года назад +3

    Thinking about it, the way you present yourself (being closed off) is a habit. I have to think about it in order to fix it,

  • @Atrix..
    @Atrix.. 3 года назад +4

    you just literally changed my mindset :p
    love from india keep growing yourself 💖💖💖

  • @MrShpitZer
    @MrShpitZer 3 года назад +6

    Cant thank you enough for these videos bro :)

  • @marinaSassygUrl88
    @marinaSassygUrl88 3 года назад +3

    Thank you, again, this was super needed because I’ve just fought with family, and then wondered why am I so low valued to them. Even some of them that I didn’t even hurt or had bad blood between us, just didn’t respect me and sided against me. Okay sorry, tml but sometimes writing off how you feel can help. Peace 💕✌️

  • @sta_rlight5564
    @sta_rlight5564 3 года назад +10

    One time, my instructor on Zoom gave the whole class to vote for something that gave us two choices on how we will do the quiz and I was the only one who voted for something else while everyone voted for the same thing. Even my instructor interrupted me when I spoke into the mic and then everyone began to talk over me. It was horrible. Sometimes it's scary when no one agrees and talks over you.I don't know what to do.

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,•••

    • @thelegendkillersshittyduff1335
      @thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 3 года назад +5

      Sorry about that

    • @sqkoi
      @sqkoi 2 года назад +1

      thats terrible :( i cant believe your instructor would interrupt u like that

    • @Emmandytour
      @Emmandytour 2 года назад +2

      You just need to be super in believing in yourself that you can do it and don't give damn to anyone's opinion.

    • @kzg_veritas12
      @kzg_veritas12 Месяц назад

      People are slaves to convenience

  • @enviosity499
    @enviosity499 3 года назад +3

    been here since like 30k subs I'm not going anywhere, love from England!!

  • @brookemathis5665
    @brookemathis5665 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you so much Cole Hastings this was very aspiring I appreciate you and your content❤ I love this video. Super helpful :)

  • @MiniBazookka
    @MiniBazookka 3 года назад +2

    I watched some videos about respect, but this one was the best! Thank you!

  • @jeprodigalson792
    @jeprodigalson792 Год назад +3

    Those who know me deeply respect me. Those who dont... cant live with their assumptions as I am not living to live up to their admiration.

  • @markersandacrylics5898
    @markersandacrylics5898 3 года назад +2

    Hey Cole I love your videos!! And I was here before you got a million followers whuup whup🥳 😁

  • @AliArt
    @AliArt 2 года назад +3

    This works if the person is being "kind" because they are trying to please people. You know where the problem is? Being actually kind and considerate, an empath 😅 you will speak the truth, be kind, be respectful, and the person believes you're doing this to please them, then they treat you like trash, but you're the same to everyone, it's your personality. And when they treat you badly, that's when you walk away. I've lost count (basically everyone) of how many people thought I was a people pleaser and tried to do push and pull games. But as soon as they push me I say "Ok, I respect your decision/opinion" and LEAVE for good. That's when you notice the person is trying to cross the line and don't respect you naturally. So I lose consideration towards the person. If someone is pushing and leaves, I actually respect them. But if they push and try to pull when they see you're not running after them. I'm done... the bad thing about this is that people only have one chance to do things right, but as you're being so understanding, kind and caring, they will never think about this and will 99% of times try to cross the line and believe you will accept it... to me, if someone is pushing, without intention to pull back, I respect their decision. If they are pushing to pull back, I'm done because they show not being respectful. So basically everytime someone pushes, I know we are done. (Friendship, relationship, etc) everything else can be debatable. Changing yourself to appear more like a baddie and get respect, feels suffocating and I'd rather be alone and truthful to my personality, feelings and thoughts. Now to people pleasers this videos stands perfect 👌 people won't respect you if you don't respect yourself first. I just add that they will not respect you if you're genuinely kind as well lol I used to have a friend who said everytime "the worst I treat people the more they love me", and she was really popular, so yeah people actually like jerks...

    • @DanielSilva-gc4xz
      @DanielSilva-gc4xz Год назад +1

      Relatable. I respect everyone, not to please. Just because I'm like this and like this I'll be. It's funny how, like you said, people start thinking they can take advantage of that. When I see someone do that it feels like I'm watching a primitive animal thinking they will fulfill their greed somehow.

  • @JimmyJaxJellyStax
    @JimmyJaxJellyStax Год назад +1

    Especially important with coworkers.

  • @cailiebetz2186
    @cailiebetz2186 3 года назад +2

    If I see someone down on themselves I try to lift them up.

  • @YScourgeOfTheStars
    @YScourgeOfTheStars 5 месяцев назад

    I’m actually sick and tired of always busting my ass being nice and saying hello to everyone I know or make eye contact with when I walk near them and always asking how my friends are doing when i see them and literally always always doing my very best to ignore disrespect from other people and do my best to treat them nicely and then get treated like trash by absolutely everyone I know. It’s honestly miserable and if you’ve experienced it you understand how small it makes you feel. I’m truly losing all confidence that I have whenever I enter a social situation in seconds and I’m so so tired of it. Please listen to this man and don’t be treated nastily for so long like I have been. Stand up to yourself and know your worth

  • @thababydaisy
    @thababydaisy 2 года назад +2

    I love your videos, every topic you cover I can totally connect with and I love your take on them , when I get my youtube up and running , you're most def going to be a point of reference! Thank youuuu

  • @daviddulom8258
    @daviddulom8258 3 года назад +1

    Thank you Cole for making this video.

  • @brokepuertoricans6450
    @brokepuertoricans6450 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you cole hastings, I've only watched three videos of yours and alot that you discussed in your topics remind me of the man I once was. Life is ment to be lived and mistakes should be an opportunity to learn from to shape what you want to become. I have family and friends that care and love me, everything that happened, that was said, and that was done. I forgive myself and everyone.

  • @zedebs5044
    @zedebs5044 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you Man for sharing your knowledge. It is High time I build the respect that i want for myself
    I heard once: "Knowledge is useless without acting on it"

  • @preoccuppied
    @preoccuppied 2 года назад +5

    Really needed this.. my friend groups getting toxic asf and they always make fun of me but it’s really all my fault cos I act like a clown. Gonna learn to respect myself more 🙏

    • @brockisbackinaction1234
      @brockisbackinaction1234 2 года назад

      im having the exact same problem. My friend group doesn’t really take me seriously anymore.

    • @preoccuppied
      @preoccuppied 2 года назад

      @@brockisbackinaction1234 read catcher in the rye. i promise, it'll change ur life i also recommend ditching them and just completely ignore them. yes its fucking hard, even 10x harder for me cos the whole school knows im the funny guy and everyone like yo "say sum funny". dont give them attitude tho cos they'll make fun about it. only make 1 joke with them and make them feel close then boom just ignore. its been working and im glad cos i realised those arent my real friends.

  • @markwalker2986
    @markwalker2986 3 года назад +1

    Your so right buddy! I used to be a people pleaser and worry if people didn't like me. But I'm self confident now and don't worry what people think. Although I try to be nice and treat people but if they don't like me then that's cool with me! Great video.

  • @GAGANHEIM
    @GAGANHEIM 3 года назад +1

    Respect. You've done good, kid! Proud of you.

  • @norrrlife
    @norrrlife 3 месяца назад +2

    I have to get in shape.

  • @georgecampbell9190
    @georgecampbell9190 3 года назад +3

    Great video. I've been struggling with this exact issue for a few months now. Lots of helpful info in this video that I will definitely think about.

  • @eddy180
    @eddy180 3 года назад +2

    you're a legend bro keep up this great content

  • @Johnitus69
    @Johnitus69 Год назад

    7:31 This is honestly the one that is most important. People who walk over your words do not value your words. Had to learn this the hard way

  • @avabethmcghee3048
    @avabethmcghee3048 5 месяцев назад

    I was looking for other people who hate it when people respect them. Your video is what came up. I thought you should know that.

  • @MR-hz6jq
    @MR-hz6jq 3 года назад +8

    Currently I am trying to change my body language a bit but I feel so insecure when I'm standing and looking straight, especially fed are harder . Sometimes I just want to run away in some situations instead of changing my body language.

    • @lesliecunningham8770
      @lesliecunningham8770 3 года назад

      Appreciate your review:)Buyinvest and tradeincryptocurrency especiallyBitcoin,do youexperience difficulty in tradingWH/ap in--box
      +1..(9•0•9),..3 7 2.....0.....8....6....9,,•••

    • @dp268
      @dp268 3 года назад +3

      I totally understand you! I have the same feeling insecure when changing my body language and pretending to be confident. anyway you're not alone.

    • @Aaron-fb6mb
      @Aaron-fb6mb 3 года назад

      100% I just feel so Uncomfortable lmao. Only feel comfortable with and crossed

  • @samir6035
    @samir6035 4 месяца назад

    It's not about saying the word no just to seem respectable, it's about loving yourself and making the desicions that suit your best interest

  • @tanaykamath1415
    @tanaykamath1415 2 года назад +6

    The quality of your videos:
    Smooth editing, contextual clips and ofc above all the self-help advice/tips
    An amazing mixture to consume,
    Thanks a lot for such content Cole!, it really helps me especially during low days💛
    Love from 🇮🇳

  • @imissyou6365
    @imissyou6365 3 года назад +27

    I like when people don’t respect me. Because I rather they fine out how successful I am. It’s funny to watch they change up.

    • @georgecampbell9190
      @georgecampbell9190 3 года назад +2

      Okay?

    • @georgecampbell9190
      @georgecampbell9190 3 года назад +5

      @Kuba P No, op just has an inflated ego.

    • @coffintears5821
      @coffintears5821 3 года назад

      Not everyone you meet is going to like you but that's ok. They'll be missing out on alot of things.

  • @youtubeimi6480
    @youtubeimi6480 2 года назад +3

    6:04
    First of all sorry if i mess up my writing, i am not that great at Eng.
    So that's not true at all, sometimes you have to tell your boss NO i am not gonna ....... Because! i have a story to tell you guys.
    So back then around December i fractured my right arm ( Humerus ) and before that, my bosses are like " do this, do that etc etc" and i always did what they ask from me ( even when it was a stupid idea or had no logic behing the idea )
    After i recovered i came back to work ( half recovered but i kinda forced to come back ) with the statement that i don't have to lift heavy weight ( only administrative work), i am allowed to rest as much as i can if i feel pain in my hand etc. then weeks past and every day some more work started happening, like first week is just clean up the place, then the next week i had to carry iron rods, then the next week i had to carry heavy sidewalk bridges, and those things started bein overwhelming after 2-3 mounth. my hand started to hurt real bad.
    So overall, i realized that my work atmosphere ( bosses and co-workers ) are realy manipulative and try to use you everyway they able to, currently i quited the job yesterday, and about to find a new one, because this situation is overgrowth the way, that i am not able to say no anymore bcz i think they just get used to it that i say yes for everything.
    So imo if you want to get respect from your boss, and he/she try to use you (like mine did ) and force you to do things that can harm your body or mental health, just say no and fck it.
    If they don't respect your health and try to use you like a "yes my boss machine" who do everything they want, go find a better place with a better community.

  • @sardor9256
    @sardor9256 2 года назад +3

    Be valuable and not nice to people in order to be respected

    • @Beela2020
      @Beela2020 3 месяца назад

      No if u are not nice I dont want to be around u at all healthy people doesnt stand people who are not nice🎉

  • @InvestigativeTherapist
    @InvestigativeTherapist 9 месяцев назад

    what a brilliant guy and great talk Thankyou so much x

  • @Carl-qk1hx
    @Carl-qk1hx 11 месяцев назад

    Hey dude! I like your video. Thanks for creating such wonderful one. This will really be a big help to other people. You are a blessing. ❤

  • @weliveinaclownworld
    @weliveinaclownworld 3 года назад

    Liked this video i don’t usually do this, but that part when you said being assertive with yourself I really felt that!

  • @eunbidraws3778
    @eunbidraws3778 2 года назад +1

    Thanks for making these videos

  • @grandmasboy3544
    @grandmasboy3544 3 года назад

    Love You Man!!.. One of the Realest on RUclips!!.. Respect Your Work!!.. ✌️

  • @agouzal100
    @agouzal100 3 года назад +1

    I’m the 100000th subscriber 😍 keep it up bro

  • @jgoodygoods512
    @jgoodygoods512 3 года назад

    Cole you’ve got good digital energy man. Respect.

  • @nathannyawaya
    @nathannyawaya 3 года назад +1

    Just found this channel a few days ago.
    I love your content Cole

  • @GOT-TOGO
    @GOT-TOGO 2 месяца назад +1

    I watching this on behalf of other guys who watch this a tip to be respected is to be yourself to much people put to much on it when trying to gain my respect remember your a human you have a lot of different sides from sad to happy just embrace how u feel

  • @wot2eat386
    @wot2eat386 3 месяца назад

    As long as you view yourself highly, nothing else’s matters

  • @rickynunez3109
    @rickynunez3109 Год назад

    saying yes can get you ahead people become reliant on you and depend on you, but saying yes to many times becomes exhausting and over whelming. i would say yes to people because i really just wanted to help them but what i found out by saying yes is that they become needy and dependent on me for everything. it became a lot of pressure to meet there needs and the relationship ended because they crossed boundaries. i consider my self independent i never ask for help i do everything i possibly can by my self.

  • @adeelibrahim5401
    @adeelibrahim5401 3 года назад +2

    Hey Cole, I know there's a slim chance you'll read this. But I wanted to let you know that your content has been a great help to me. I appreciate your work. Thank you.