You don't fit in, so stop trying to.

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  • Опубликовано: 26 авг 2021
  • Trying to fit in is making you miserable.
    Get exclusive content/1 on 1 sessions: / colehastings
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    #fittingin #stoptryingtofitin #whyyoudontfitin
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    𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩
    Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I try to help people through sharing my experiences and evolution through life.
    why dont i fit in anywhere, stop trying to fit in motivation, why you dont fit in anywhere, fitting in is bad, fitting in is overrated, why you dont fit in and have 0 friends

Комментарии • 777

  • @vladusa
    @vladusa 2 года назад +726

    You either fit in and become miserable because you aren't being yourself, or
    you don't fit in and become miserable because you aren't making friends.

    • @cinnamoroll_118
      @cinnamoroll_118 2 года назад +69

      The second one is me

    • @MrSandManGiveMeADream
      @MrSandManGiveMeADream Год назад +10

      so whats the solution here

    • @vladusa
      @vladusa Год назад +54

      @@MrSandManGiveMeADream Be something you aren't to impress people you don't care about for reasons you connect to your morals.

    • @MrSandManGiveMeADream
      @MrSandManGiveMeADream Год назад +7

      @@vladusa sounds about right. thanks for the answer after one year!

    • @vladusa
      @vladusa Год назад +3

      @@MrSandManGiveMeADream one day*

  • @bendwirantwi4405
    @bendwirantwi4405 2 года назад +1496

    It’s like this guy knows everything that’s going on in my life 😂

  • @JAPHETMB
    @JAPHETMB 2 года назад +1483

    If you don’t fit In you’re born to stand out! Be you and always stay authentic

    • @ryegee9464
      @ryegee9464 2 года назад +53

      What if you don’t like to stand out ?

    • @jithinff8686
      @jithinff8686 2 года назад +18

      @@ryegee9464 lol

    • @ryegee9464
      @ryegee9464 2 года назад +6

      @@jithinff8686 right lol

    • @KonesMorroh
      @KonesMorroh 2 года назад +11

      idk about born to stand out but thanks :>

    • @jRex918
      @jRex918 2 года назад +40

      There will be consequences to being yourself. People will pick on you. People will be mean to you. People will ostracize you. Standing out and being yourself will have consequences

  • @mig2546
    @mig2546 2 года назад +413

    I’m 22 and never could fit in. I’m being myself forever and don’t care if people leave me for it. I’m not a sheep I like being different

    • @summertimetea4594
      @summertimetea4594 2 года назад +32

      I LOVE who I am, just wish others did too

    • @kkKkK.KK87
      @kkKkK.KK87 2 года назад +1

      Are u an introvert too?

    • @SarukiLIAS
      @SarukiLIAS 2 года назад +13

      @@summertimetea4594 what’s the fun in that , when at the end , you already have the only true love that matters , loving yourself

    • @JimmyJaxJellyStax
      @JimmyJaxJellyStax 2 года назад +1

      It helps just to meet a lot of people and choose a very few to be close to

    • @Roky_2000
      @Roky_2000 Год назад +6

      @@kkKkK.KK87 I'm pervert

  • @ColeHastings
    @ColeHastings  2 года назад +509

    I tried doing the opposite by driving in the opposite lane. Now im in the hospital. Thanks Cole.

    • @moritz3168
      @moritz3168 2 года назад +28

      Thanks for the movie recommendation, never knew tears could be this beautiful.

    • @Hamza97
      @Hamza97 2 года назад +27

      which mic were you using for this vid pls

    • @apurva7347
      @apurva7347 2 года назад +7

      @@Hamza97 adonisss

    • @Jordan-ng2uv
      @Jordan-ng2uv 2 года назад

      @@Hamza97 I forget the exact name. but i think he said it's the "fi- fine mic" it's a cheaper chinese mic.
      but it gets the job done.
      if you have a bit more to spend a blue yeti nano does wonders.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  2 года назад +20

      @@Hamza97 FFine K669 *kiss*

  • @Hub71995
    @Hub71995 2 года назад +578

    “There are gems of movies sitting in the dark thanks to some rotten tomatoes score and there’s a gem of yourself sitting in the dark thanks to your unwillingness to break conformity” that’s a gem of a saying right there

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  2 года назад +28

    • @Liv-yr2wk
      @Liv-yr2wk 2 года назад +12

      that's a gem of a comment right here

    • @siddharthchabukswar2
      @siddharthchabukswar2 2 года назад +1

      "Scent of a woman", is one of my favourites

    • @snicksabea
      @snicksabea Год назад +1

      Some of those are the best movies! Grandmas Boy!

  • @nathaliegrammer6209
    @nathaliegrammer6209 2 года назад +321

    I think the common school system is a big part of the problem. Wasting energy for getting better grades in school subjects you're not even interested in..

    • @rail7646
      @rail7646 2 года назад +40

      yep exactly learning stuff that 80% of it doesn't serve you or anyone else something is just an old relict that didn't get touched because it kinda "worked" to seperate willing or not-willing people.

    • @nancy8605
      @nancy8605 2 года назад +1

      SPEAK LOADER

    • @nancy8605
      @nancy8605 2 года назад +2

      SPEAK LOADER

    • @thiago___
      @thiago___ 2 года назад +6

      Nah, people often find joy in things they thought they wouldn't when they have to do then, it is important to study different subjects, so you can learn that you can't have just what you want.

    • @vm4890
      @vm4890 2 года назад

      Many students are taught by teachers required to parrot a curriculum. The curriculum is chosen by people who only have experience in getting elected! The common school system IS a big part of the problem!

  • @meowmy1659
    @meowmy1659 Год назад +42

    I always blame myself for not being ble to fit in. Tried being me, tried being like those who are with me but I always still felt outcasted. At times I tried throwing Jokes no one laughs but if its delivered by a different person, people laugh. Always being there for people but when I am the one who is in need, no one is there...but I still feel blessed at the end of the day because my family loves me..

    • @Terrydon
      @Terrydon Год назад +6

      damn bro i can relate you need to make them respect you or you should find a next friend group

    • @user-rc8xc6yx8h
      @user-rc8xc6yx8h 9 месяцев назад +2

      If you could know how much I relate to it

    • @euclides9777
      @euclides9777 9 месяцев назад +1

      Imo relatable

    • @howtfdoihave115subs7
      @howtfdoihave115subs7 8 месяцев назад +5

      This......
      I am exactly like this, no matter what I do, I can never fit in, people always give me that weird side eye whenever I am with them... And no one takes interest in what I sah, but when someone else says that same thing , its like all laughs and stuff.. there is a girl in my class who has pretty much the same sense of humour as me, And she says the same thing I do, but the way she delivers is makes everyone love her, but when I say that, everyone gives me weird looks

  • @ScalesQT
    @ScalesQT 2 года назад +187

    The problem is people make themselves worse just to "be like the others".

  • @paullopez2021
    @paullopez2021 2 года назад +136

    I've realized very recently that I do NOT fit in my workplace at all. Where I work is very Disney-like. Everyone is expected to be happy and cheerful, and ask customers what I feel to be invasive questions in the name of "homeyness." Non-conformity to this toxic positivity is looked down upon. It all makes me wanna puke -- and I now know for a fact that I'm an entrepreneur at heart. THANK YOU for this video, Cole. :)

    • @corinawhite6457
      @corinawhite6457 2 года назад

      sorry to hear that know how you feel I am a big miss fit because I am transgender and gamer and adult baby side of life because of stressful life events 🤗🍼

    • @melonagirl9444
      @melonagirl9444 Год назад

      I work in a very similar situation but I instead I decided being authentic was the best solution cause I would get customers that don't quite like the intrusive either and that totally worked at least for me. Fact is there are a bunch of people seeking for what they think it's more comfortable. I smile a lot and don't ask questions just let the environment let them say it all.

  • @ryanbarker3978
    @ryanbarker3978 2 года назад +349

    Remember when you are the guy that has nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. That's actually the most powerful position you can be in.

    • @jaedanbellamy66
      @jaedanbellamy66 2 года назад +26

      I feel like I'm bout to collapse but I also feel like I'm destined for greatness so I'm not gonna give up my time is coming

    • @fuzzypanda1684
      @fuzzypanda1684 Год назад +2

      Sure but by definition as soon as you get anything at all you're no longer in that position. Just by having a phone and the internet to write this, you have something to lose.

    • @hbennett5640
      @hbennett5640 10 месяцев назад

      Love this❤

    • @nyxxose
      @nyxxose 7 месяцев назад

      Not if you’re behind bars….
      That’s not strength, that’s cowardice.

  • @Sloan_Alone
    @Sloan_Alone 2 года назад +40

    This reminded me of a comment one of my friends made… “I’d rather people love me or hate me, I just never want to be the ‘meh’ guy”

    • @plantmama7442
      @plantmama7442 2 года назад +6

      Damn love this 💯💯

    • @saras756
      @saras756 Год назад +1

      A swedish author, Hjalmar Söderberg 1869-1941, formulated precisely this ”You want to be loved, in lack thereof admired, in lack thereof feared, in lack thereof hated and dispised. You want to instill a feeling of some kind in people.”(directly translated to the best of my ability). He ends by concluding that, above all, the soul hates the emptiness, and wants contact - to whatever cost.

  • @scribeofsolace
    @scribeofsolace 2 года назад +243

    I think social media is also a huge catalyst to this notion. Especially when seeing a huge demographic leaning towards specific territories whether it’s the in thing or simply giving them a haven to feel safe or comfortable. You sometimes compare yourself to other people and it’s almost impossible not to. You’re a human after all. This in my observation creates inner competition that nulls you to the fact that you’re becoming someone you’ve compared yourself to….not the person you were meant to be via experience of your own timeline. I think the younger generation focuses to much on what other people are doing and not what they could be doing. Pros and Cons to many intervals with this.

    • @mr12aT
      @mr12aT 2 года назад +6

      Comparing ourselves has been happening in the world for social media began. Social media doesn’t even get a start on the conversation, it is just another vehicle to compare ourselves.
      Begin with industrialisation - marketing, advertising. “keeping up with the Joneses” has been part of our consumer capitalist culture for a couple hundred years now.

    • @jadedjimmy
      @jadedjimmy 2 года назад +2

      You raise a lot of good points. I know that lots of people say that social media overall is just bad, and you shouldn’t pour much of yourself into it, but to me that seems almost like too safe of a route to take. I like to be reminded of what my peers are doing so I can have that push to make myself better and more successful than I am. If I just give up on any sort of competition whatsoever, I can’t help but feel that’s just a lazy way of living, to some degree.

    • @theharshtruthoutthere
      @theharshtruthoutthere 5 месяцев назад

      @@jadedjimmy You belong not, simply because:
      John 15:19 (KJV)
      If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
      you are CHOSEN OUT from this world, TO DO THE WLL OF YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER in this world:
      Matthew 7:21 (KJV)
      Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
      the emptiness which we shall feel inside our souls, is GOD`S quiet voice, calling us to SEEK HIM,
      TO
      GET TO KNOW HIM
      TO
      UNDESTAND HIS WAYS
      TO
      ALLOW HIM BACK INTO OUR LIVES.

  • @AJBuddha
    @AJBuddha Год назад +12

    Fitting in is a waste of time
    Just do what makes you happy dude ‼️

  • @FoenyxFeather
    @FoenyxFeather 2 года назад +54

    This is something I knew instinctively growing up Aspergers, and everyone called me crazy for. This video is like water. It feels healing to watch. I'm damn right. I'm not crazy, and I never was.

    • @nathanadnitt
      @nathanadnitt Год назад +3

      That was beautiful man "like water" your on some bruce lee shit mate haha

    • @ShiverRightOnYT
      @ShiverRightOnYT Год назад

      Same

  • @meanwhileinespoo1265
    @meanwhileinespoo1265 2 года назад +30

    There is also an epidemic of people TRYING to be different.. dont mistake that for being you.. try a day without giving yourself demands or rules that make you normal... I have never fitted in anywhere with anyone.. at any time.. I tried and tried.... people will use you... people will hurt you... till they see something they never expected about you....

  • @kingsoltani9307
    @kingsoltani9307 2 года назад +18

    I am 13 and I realized how much of a nerd I was in elementary school in the past year and don't fit in even now. Social media is the biggest reason why I felt nerdy plus all the games that the majority play, the information and interests that the majority have in common but I don't have makes feel like I don't fit in. Thank you, this video made me feel better.

  • @Ocranix
    @Ocranix Год назад +12

    Not only should you not fit in, don't feel like you don't belong. I often think "I don't belong here" whether its in a class or at a church. But you just have to think to yourself "what makes them belong more than I do?" and then you realize it's nothing at all.

  • @voodooo69
    @voodooo69 2 года назад +112

    At the ripe age of 37 I've finally excepted this. I love my isolation now and I'm not lonely.

    • @soyboy5628
      @soyboy5628 2 года назад +2

      What have your past relationships been like? What made you isolated in the first place and how did you become okay with it?

    • @heavensea141
      @heavensea141 2 года назад +17

      You simple more introverted by nature.
      I was entery life, been so annoyed by peoples don't understand I don't get my inner peace of mind if I don't get my solitude exactly when I need it.

    • @desireeadjei9033
      @desireeadjei9033 2 года назад +10

      I guess I am not the only one who finally accepted this at 21

    • @peace606
      @peace606 2 года назад +7

      I dont think its healty to think like that. Im 22. I also thought like that for a while, but then im realized im just ignoring the existence of my social desire and suffering inside.
      Humans are social animals. You have to have a fulfilling social life to be happy.

    • @a.kedits8720
      @a.kedits8720 2 года назад

      You need a physicist my Friend

  • @symesalexander5294
    @symesalexander5294 2 года назад +76

    "Being different is a blessing not a Curse " 😎💯

    • @corinawhite6457
      @corinawhite6457 2 года назад +5

      ty for this I felt like curse at times because I am transgender and gamer and adult baby side of life because of stressful life events and no matter my gender do say or Act I can't win in life and so broken by this world Ty for your tip trying my best in life 🤗🍼

    • @symesalexander5294
      @symesalexander5294 2 года назад

      @@corinawhite6457 💯

    • @upbestsalt1551
      @upbestsalt1551 2 года назад +11

      It kinda is a curse because people will ridicule you for being yourself

    • @symesalexander5294
      @symesalexander5294 2 года назад

      @@upbestsalt1551 Yeah been Ridiculed my entire life

    • @dr.coomer8210
      @dr.coomer8210 Год назад +3

      Its a curse

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 2 года назад +80

    That is pretty damn good general advice - it is the craving for things to be different that makes us suffer. If we _want_ it to be the way it is, there is no discomfort

  • @briannasandner5921
    @briannasandner5921 2 года назад +186

    Cole, this one hit home for me. There was really never a point in my life where I “fit in.” Only recently, within the past year or two in college, have I began to accept that as a positive. I don’t want to be like everyone else, as a matter of fact, that sounds awful to me. I would rather be completely alone and at peace than surrounded by people who make me feel lonely. Love your content so much, it makes me feel finally understood. Keep up the amazing work you do. Much love. ❤️

    • @nadineskye7050
      @nadineskye7050 2 года назад +4

      Same, Brianna! Much love to you too!

    • @asvalias
      @asvalias 2 года назад +5

      I feel you!

    • @en2p187
      @en2p187 2 года назад +9

      Brene brown talks about belonging vs fitting in. We are social creatures after all, the solution isn't always to be alone (though solititude isn't so bad and I like it), just consider there may be more alternatives.

    • @briannasandner5921
      @briannasandner5921 2 года назад +7

      @@en2p187 For sure, I love Brene. :) Personally I am an introvert and a highly sensitive person, so for the longest I thought there was something wrong with me. I always wished I could socialize like other people, but it genuinely drains me. Over time I’ve come to accept that there is nothing wrong with preferring solitude, and I have used that to better myself.

    • @en2p187
      @en2p187 2 года назад +5

      @@briannasandner5921 that's great that you've come to accept that part of yourself! And glad to see another brene fan out in the wild haha 😄

  • @lillywantsheranchovypizza107
    @lillywantsheranchovypizza107 2 года назад +77

    i love this video. the rotten tomatoes thing is true. a lot of my favorite movies have terrible ratings but i love them nonetheless. i hate to think that if as a kid i had access to those ratings, would i have passed up on those movies? you absolutely have to go against the crowd when it feels right to you to. i think that trying hard to fit in will actually keep you from yourself and truest form of happiness after so long. it gets tiring.

  • @maximeg7404
    @maximeg7404 2 года назад +8

    but in the end nothing matters

  • @fapplebees8925
    @fapplebees8925 2 года назад +19

    On another note, Rip Robin Williams. You had so much more to offer man. We miss you.

  • @MarcusChaiT_T
    @MarcusChaiT_T 2 года назад +31

    My high school literature teacher forced all of us to watch Dead Poet's Society in her class. Till today I am very thankful for her actions in the past.

  • @nancy8605
    @nancy8605 2 года назад +4

    I don't fit in and i don't wanna fit in but it feels like poeple around me have different and false assumptions of me.

  • @Cavegeckosol
    @Cavegeckosol 2 года назад +45

    I think that authenticity should encompass more than this platonic idea of self. In reality, our authentic experience includes our pasts, our memories, and our interactions with people. The self is fluid, not a fixed point we all strive for like most self help gurus say. Conformity is part of the authentic self. We do it for a reason. Maybe it is biological or societal, but the urge to conform is part of who we are, even as individuals. If you are aware of this, it allows you to experience things on a deeper level. The choice to conform or diverge is ultimately ours to make, and it is the nature of that choice that is authentic to us.

    • @michaelhampner7672
      @michaelhampner7672 Год назад

      Great comment.

    • @Hubcool367
      @Hubcool367 5 месяцев назад

      Yup. Trying to suppress that deep need for "conformity", that fundamental need to fit in and belong in order to feel more "authentic", is ironically one of the least authentic things you could do. Of course, denying your urge for "authenticity" would also be inauthentic. I'm actually not even sure what the solution is, because there's almost always going to be a deep contradiction inside of yourself, at any moment at least a part of your authentic self that will never be fully expressed. On the other hand, you've never and will never be able to express any more or any less than all of the contradictions that make up your self at any given moment, and while that may feel inauthentic to yourself and/or others, it is as authentic, as fully you in all your complexities as it could possibly be.

  • @priyanshiagarwal1572
    @priyanshiagarwal1572 Год назад +10

    Yesterday, I was feeling so down. I recorded myself and talked to myself (it's something I do when I'm lonely, it makes me feel there's someone else), and I cried two times for this exact reason. I never fit in. Seeing so many people on here saying the same thing is both sad and happy to me.
    Sad because I'm well aware of how hard life is when you have literally no one to talk to. (who understands you) and happy because there's hope. We all could connect with each other?
    All i know is that it's always good knowing you're not alone. This comment section made me feel so. The video was awesome too. I'm gonna watch that movie today.
    I'm hoping when I get to finally go to the UK, I'll fit in. Yes, I know the video said it's okay not to, but you really can't live a life without another. But what I can do, is hold on till I meet someone who understands me, gets me and makes me feel at home.
    xxx

    • @aalulaa2549
      @aalulaa2549 9 месяцев назад

      You will find your people 💙

  • @nickcarterr
    @nickcarterr 2 года назад +84

    You truly deserve more subs and views. These videos are highly intelligent and therapeutic.

  • @HunterGT1
    @HunterGT1 2 года назад +5

    I feel depressed and have anxiety and I’ve been trying to fit in for so long bit I realized that nobody gives a shit about my style or me and I’ve gained some self doubt lost

  • @user-yl4rh8vn8c
    @user-yl4rh8vn8c Год назад +11

    People don’t think it’s “cool” to be tired and depressed; it’s a condition of how we’re forced to live in this society.

    • @mikoaj7956
      @mikoaj7956 Год назад

      Many people do. People "brag" about how they dont have will to do anything, how they did nothing last weekend.
      Just so this way you can relate and be relateable to others.

  • @carpenoctem775
    @carpenoctem775 Год назад +8

    I learned this lesson a long time ago. I always struggled for acceptance and belonging as a boy. Insecurity. Now as a man I embrace my individuality and value my inner peace and headspace regardless of the opinions of others. It’s a journey that was paved on a rough path, but it’s worth it. Never give up on that, no matter how long it takes.

  • @albatross_407
    @albatross_407 2 года назад +39

    I swear Cole, there's this weird universal relationship between the exact moment your videos come out and the goings-on of my life. Your videos come out at exactly the right time when I need them most. That video you made for over-thinkers? It released around the exact time where I was buried in my own thoughts stressing over every single detail up to the point where I second-guessed myself. And then there's that video you made regarding the 6-month rule, which came out exactly when I was planning on changing my life for the better and was thinking long-term objectives. And then this, a video with the central theme of authenticity at a time where I've been questioning who I truly am as a person and what I stand for. At every single pitstop where I felt my life was going nowhere, you came out of the blue and guided me to where I am now, so thank you so much for everything you do. There's definitely a beautiful reason why you were made a part of many people's lives and this relationship I have with you is a testament to that.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  2 года назад +7

      Damn, that's amazing. Thank you for this

    • @klausschwab4019
      @klausschwab4019 2 года назад +1

      Did you know your search history, everything youve watched, every time youve asked google something, your data is fed into a database, then googles AI systems compare you to others that are the same age, with the same problems, who have liked a certain video, and they will suggest you watch that video. So that you click and watch it and generate them money through ad revenue. Maybe thats why the videos seem to magically pop up at the right time in your life.

  • @crankfotton
    @crankfotton Год назад +5

    fit in always fails... dont do it.

  • @isaacu6473
    @isaacu6473 2 года назад +8

    When you said everything you consumed is where you are now. This really reminded me of when I heard Andrew Kirby say, “Every thing in your past has gotten you to where you are now”. It doesn’t define you, and there is no point dwelling on it. All you have is the present moment. Live today as it will be your last. Time is precious.

  • @brigidoconnor-gj8dq
    @brigidoconnor-gj8dq 7 месяцев назад +1

    Hi Cole, I am Brigid from Australia. I only just today found your site on RUclips, and I’ve got to say that I’m very impressed with your work and thoughts!!! I’m going to watch Dead poets society asap! I love listening to and learning about people who are thinkers! You are so very insightful for someone your age! Thank you so very much for this discussion today. Namaste, and thanks again 🙏😊

  • @tylercoleman4235
    @tylercoleman4235 2 года назад +14

    I love what you do so much man, you seriously had such a huge part in me getting over a breakup 6 months ago, you helped out a lot. Your content is so good I felt like I don’t deserve to be watching it for free 😂 so I subbed to your Patreon.

  • @jayshmoney2318
    @jayshmoney2318 2 года назад +1

    Out of the 3 videos (this being the 3rd one) I’m convinced your authentic ideas are very helpful for many of use and you got my subscription

  • @Bogdii
    @Bogdii 2 года назад +31

    I've learned so much from watching you these past few weeks. Congrats on 200k!

  • @marinaSassygUrl88
    @marinaSassygUrl88 2 года назад +5

    Thank you so much for this video. I’ve seen this video long ago, the title and the click bait really spoke to me but I didn’t watch until I felt ready.
    You said so much of the things I always think of; or more specifically, started to think of now.
    What motivated me to get out of my very closed minded, narrow minded view points and thoughts on the world. We have been soooo afraid to even said ONE thing that isn’t the “ norm” because we will get hate mobbed online, I find it ironic because in real life, these same people are the most insecure and cowardly people ever. I know I am judging a lot, but the way these people online think [negative people] really irk me. There’s no one right opinion, and that’s something people seem to be doing a lot. Myself included and I dislike when I do it. They seemed to shut any conversation soooo quickly by “ science said so” and I agree with you, I wholeheartedly support science. These people take decades of their lives to search and study topics I can’t even comprehend, but that doesn’t mean they are always right. What happened to the scientific method? I studied that at school, it was in every science book literally, and it always insinuated how scientists FAIL times and times again till they get something right: there’s no magic. and I remember feeling better about being called an “idiot” sometimes because look, even scientists take ages till they get the experiment to work and get their results! They take time to see what works or not- they are after all- only human. And they can be wrong… I can count so many things the science has done that was “ factually wrong” a long time ago but now isn’t. I do understand some people who are bigoted can use this argument against science, but I am not referring to those people ofc. Just the overall attitude with “ you’re wrong, cause science said so” like it’s a new religion.
    My recent experiences on the whole mob mentality was on reddit, I hate that app with a passion. Everyone there either are little kids who think they are tough or conditioned thinkers adults. I got downvoted to filth for sharing an opposing opinion on a discussion matter, no it wasn’t a rude comment, just a discussion and a matter of opinion. And that was sad, not even people disagreeing with me, which always makes me happy as I see it as an opportunity to learn and it’s a fresh new mental challenge; but just nasty and mean just because they think their opinion matches the crowd. I got downvoted so much, and it’s prone to happen when some folks think you’re wrong because you’re not them. It’s hard to accept difference. Again I don’t hate disagreements, I hate ignorance and hateful energy that is so unnecessary and doesn’t even educate me.
    And the rotten tomatoes thing, I agree, recently I told myself “ I always listen to peoples reviews, well maybe I will like it? “ and I enjoyed that. It was a great movie indeed that people didn’t like.

  • @danielrust5398
    @danielrust5398 2 года назад +16

    Get better Cole and thanks for feeding me wisdom. I believe that we can act like ourselves until we conquer social anxiety. Thanks for the wisdom.

  • @wren5291
    @wren5291 2 года назад +1

    It's so sad, but something of an epiphany just now whilst watching this video. I was rarely ever told 'no' by my mother - she is very open minded and always gently obliged me and gave me space to explore and enquire - and yet the biggest form of disrespect for the only parent I have left has been conforming to society instead of being my authentic genuine self, as reminded me by her throughout my whole life.
    I also find it kind of sad/odd that movies like Dead Poet's Society teach us more about the profundities of life than school/life actually does. However, I'm certainly very grateful that they exist. I learned more from that film - and others - than I ever learned in school. I'm glad that you discovered it and have made mention of it in your videos for others to discover. It should never be forgotten! Excellent video!👍🏼

  • @mikkelrregaard6127
    @mikkelrregaard6127 2 года назад +4

    I love your channel Cole. On my journey to become the best version of myself and your videos are so helpful. Much love from Denmark.

  • @trrillt
    @trrillt 2 года назад

    Wow you helped me so much cole 🥺 thank you for being a part of my journey

  • @krishnadevk3467
    @krishnadevk3467 2 года назад +5

    Cole i've been following you for a while now...and your edits and way of presenting has improved a lot.kudos,brother!
    and again as always....effing relatable content man .

  • @dbern939
    @dbern939 2 года назад +3

    God damn Cole, I'm so glad you're so good a putting your thoughts in words.

  • @mikaeladavid7166
    @mikaeladavid7166 2 года назад +7

    I love that you're speaking on this concept. Only recently did I start to look within myself for answers. In the past, I always looked to other people for advice on how to live MY life. Also when you said that we should all challenge science and "facts".. I LOVE THIS. I started realizing that not every "fact" is the truth for EVERYONE. We may all be the same species but we're really different in a lot of ways (e.g. biological disposition, upbringing, and other factors) so I would be surprised if a "fact" applies to literally every single person on earth. I think you're absolutely right. We need to try things for ourselves instead of being influenced (without question) just because society says so. Again, thank you, this is extremely valuable information that I think should be shared!! :)

  • @Vertgito
    @Vertgito 2 года назад +3

    Congrats on 200K you deserve it and the term "Dare to be different" has always been an understatement, sad to say things like this aren't taught too well in schools or pushed to the public as much as they should... and most people nowadays really don't understand that it's way easier and more fulfilling to be yourself than to try to keep up with the media and in-crowd, keep doing what you do my guy much love 💪🏾

  • @soyboy5628
    @soyboy5628 2 года назад +26

    I’ve already went against the norm for a long time - I’m quiet, expressionless at times, lazy sometimes and a little slow at times too. I’ve been trying to fit in by doing simple things like saying hi to coworkers in the morning. Maybe I’ll even test my rusty smile on people. Lots of my bad habits like I mentioned before have alienated me and I think I have to question them more and try the opposite, like working hard and sharing my thoughts with people jnstead of cosplaying a rock. I guess I have to actually do what I know works for other people because I’ve already been going against the grain in a lame way and I feel ashamed for it - must be a big source of my lack of confidence.

    • @aegisreflector1239
      @aegisreflector1239 2 года назад

      Completely understand. Same for me. Although alot of times people arent even worth the effort.

    • @ascia158
      @ascia158 2 года назад +3

      Well.. I am in this phase you mentioned and I feel so exhausted trying to be someone I am not. I think alot about how to fit in but it's hard 💔

    • @soyboy5628
      @soyboy5628 2 года назад +2

      @@aegisreflector1239 Yeah some people act like jerks and so theres no point trying to be best buddies with them. I just try to respect them as humans and coworkers, and I pat myself on the back for that. However, some people seem genuinely nice and chill and cool, and I wish I could act cooler towards them instead of basically ignoring them (out of irrational fear of saying something stupid or coming off weird). I'd want to be friends with them :)

    • @soyboy5628
      @soyboy5628 2 года назад +1

      @@ascia158 It is hard! I think things like: What do I even say, what if I come off as weird somehow, do I even care about their life enough to talk to them? Anyway I think talking to people makes it needlessly harder f you believe certain things about yourself. If I accepted the fact that I'm a quiet awkward person then it would be harder for me to talk. But nowadays I aim for the mindset that I have no idea who I truly am -- this way I can maybe unlock myself and try new ways of thinking and doing. So maybe you don't have to think of it as in being somebody you're not, maybe you could think of it as simply trying something new and different? Maybe you could think of yourself as a person who tries new and different things, like talking to people. Who knows, you might even find them interesting and connect with them on certain points! (I'm saying all this to myself as much as I'm saying this to you.) It's also interesting because Cole says that trying to fit in is bad, because you make yourself vulnerable to peoples' opinions. Maybe the trick is to care less about what mean people say and try being your genuine self. Maybe you can let people know about your genuine self by talking more. After all, if you or I met a clone of ourselves, and neither of us said a thing, that would be super weird and uncomfortable! I read somewhere that talking breaks the invisible tension between people, which makes senses I guess. And if we speak up and people respond poorly, maybe it just means that we haven't met the right people yet who click with us. Some people I work treat me like an annoying fly and others give me a nice smile and say hi. I think I should try talking more to those nice people and seeing what they think of my thoughts. Don't know if I hit the mark but I hope this reply leaves you feeling better, it did for myself.xD. Anyway when you end up fitting in, let me know how you did it!

    • @rockjockchick
      @rockjockchick 2 года назад +3

      Good self awareness. Trying something new is a great way to test to see if it works for you. Just remember some things take time.

  • @ashley14579
    @ashley14579 2 года назад +2

    I love your timing, whenever I don't know what to do you are posting. Love you

  • @DMaineMusic
    @DMaineMusic 2 года назад

    My guy you hit my life issues as if I’ve told you my problems and then you make a video. 😭 Hits my soul. Thank you for this message. 💎💪🏾

  • @FunkyGalilea
    @FunkyGalilea 2 года назад +8

    Brilliant way of spreading the message using concepts from Jean Baudrillard and Friedrich Nietzsche. Idk if that was intentional, but it was so smooth! Subscribed

  • @tatumtots25
    @tatumtots25 Год назад +3

    this has severely changed my perspective on my life. You just earned yourself a sub, your the goat and keep up the great work

  • @fywbyisaiahfloyd9627
    @fywbyisaiahfloyd9627 2 года назад

    Bro your videos have grown so much. This video is by far my favorite one you ever put out. I really appreciate this video. Keep going bro.

  • @belle_cestlavie
    @belle_cestlavie 2 года назад +2

    gosh! That’s why divine is within all of US. These few years i’ve awaken and i’m struggling to fit in anywhere! I thought i was crazy & i have personality disorder! Then i slowly find out it’s my soul the inner voice that kept pulling me in when i tried to fit in, kept stopping me when i tried to pleasing others…Now finally I got the answer! Thanks ! You explained it very thoroughly !

  • @Carlos-nx7is
    @Carlos-nx7is 2 года назад +4

    Congrats on the 200k Cole!!! + Idk if this happens to anyone else but whenever you make a video of this topics I feel like this strong positive vibe from you it's amazing, never change my guy

  • @adofficialchannel4831
    @adofficialchannel4831 2 года назад +1

    Man! This hits harrrd! Thank you from the bottom of my heart dude!

  • @piyushhk.j7506
    @piyushhk.j7506 2 года назад +7

    Thank you I really needed this I was trying to fit in with the cool guys since school and at college but I eventually landed up with bad habits and low self esteem. I relate to it too much.

  • @highliving-animatedvideos5831
    @highliving-animatedvideos5831 2 года назад +39

    Reminder: *everyday is a great day to be yourself* ..even if it might not feel as such ❤️🚀🌙

    • @1CT1
      @1CT1 2 года назад +1

      Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (share the good news of the gospel around the world!) Have a wonderful day/night, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!,.,,,,,,

    • @coolpfpbut9505
      @coolpfpbut9505 2 года назад +1

      Everyday*

    • @Keedro
      @Keedro 2 года назад +1

      oki

    • @highliving-animatedvideos5831
      @highliving-animatedvideos5831 2 года назад

      @@coolpfpbut9505 that does sound better. Comment edited 😃

    • @highliving-animatedvideos5831
      @highliving-animatedvideos5831 2 года назад

      @@Keedro that’s the spirit 😂👍🏻❤️

  • @fuckyousociety2255
    @fuckyousociety2255 2 года назад +1

    Man !!! You choose very unique and most important topics for videos just love it❤️✌️

  • @Miamidollasign
    @Miamidollasign 2 года назад +1

    I LOVE watching your videos.. I follow a lot of people but can easily watch your video all the way through

  • @Jujulianap
    @Jujulianap 2 года назад +1

    You’re so bright! Thank you for the amazing content! 🌼

  • @luketabidze8175
    @luketabidze8175 2 года назад +1

    Great video man, I've been watching some of your stuff and majority of them have been eye opening, and they've helped me look within myself and to change myself for the better. Thanks so much ♥️

  • @koraysaglik1281
    @koraysaglik1281 2 года назад +1

    Been watching some of your videos for a short while now, and I just wanted to say I love them, you give very good advice which has helped me out a lot, and I am sure it has helped many others! Thank you

  • @kaushikdr
    @kaushikdr 2 года назад +7

    As someone who firmly believes in science; I think that we also need to trust our experience. For example, when people tell me "free will doesn't scientifically exist", I accept that there might not be science to back it up, but I do experience free will and its results on my actions on an every day basis.
    So I believe that science has not found everything that is yet to be found. But if there is good science backing up a claim, like maybe why planets move faster at certain points in their orbit or that liquids move by laminar flow, and you trust it both intellectually and experientially, then I think there is good reason to trust it.

  • @L0RDK3Y
    @L0RDK3Y 2 года назад +2

    As a weird kid, I am honestly not surprised I’m an outcast, I’m introverted, act in odd ways, and have unconventional interests, but I don’t care about fitting in! So what if I stand out from the crowd? Deal with it fool!

  • @mikuko013
    @mikuko013 2 года назад

    What the hell Cole?! This is perfect timing. I was just talking about this very same topic to my family and friends. I've though like this my entire life and this video reinforces it. Good vid!

  • @zahrahyoung8259
    @zahrahyoung8259 Год назад +19

    I only want one friend and that’s it. Me thinking about a friend is making me feel so miserable. I want a friend so bad.

    • @Nottyastro
      @Nottyastro Год назад +11

      Same. I feel like everyone around me thinks I'm a loser. It's so hard to make friends

    • @ShiverRightOnYT
      @ShiverRightOnYT Год назад +1

      "Excellence is lonely" a wise man once said

    • @davidfuentes2862
      @davidfuentes2862 Год назад

      i can be your friend if you want

    • @zahrahyoung8259
      @zahrahyoung8259 Год назад

      That’s cool

  • @illuminatedsoles331
    @illuminatedsoles331 Год назад +4

    Most people - "Do what I say!"
    Individual - "Why?"
    Most People - "Pssh. Just do it. Everyone else does. Can't believe you have the audacity to question things."

  • @ukchris64
    @ukchris64 3 месяца назад

    Just seen this in my feed, and it has earned a subscrition, well done on a good video.

  • @johnjennings9693
    @johnjennings9693 4 месяца назад +1

    It's better to think outside the box, because when you're in the box it's too late, seriously great video thanks for that,

  • @giulix1825
    @giulix1825 2 года назад +2

    I literally love your videos!! They always come at the right time when i need them the most!!! 😫☺️
    PLEASE come to liechtenstein (between austria and switzerland) and we will meditate, journal and read self help books together!!!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️

  • @DemetriPanici
    @DemetriPanici 2 года назад +34

    *I'm a big self-improvement guy. I love productivity apps. I know I'm different and the more that I've accepted that the happier I have become*

    • @ren.8137
      @ren.8137 2 года назад +1

      Try writing funny comments and people will follow u

    • @deutschlernen8697
      @deutschlernen8697 Год назад +1

      @@ren.8137 ???

  • @umitburcugoksel7661
    @umitburcugoksel7661 Год назад

    I am about to cry 🥺 thank you for this amazing video ❤️

  • @bruh438
    @bruh438 2 года назад +4

    I dont fit into humanity, so I should stop trying & move to another planet

  • @rockjockchick
    @rockjockchick 2 года назад

    Omg. Thank you. You are actually thinking for yourself! Wisdom. Listen to this man ppl.

  • @ChibiTalha
    @ChibiTalha 2 года назад +2

    Dang, you never miss, brother

  • @SchuyFit
    @SchuyFit 2 года назад +2

    Cole, your videos are incredible! You're touching on so many important topics that have the ability to change peoples lives.

  • @prworswick
    @prworswick 2 года назад +1

    Cole, your content keeps getting better and better. I can see a big change in you, it won't be long till your channel hits that million mark.

  • @plathrop7737
    @plathrop7737 8 месяцев назад +1

    Awesome analogy using Dead Poet’s Society. I’m an outsider and spiritual too. Thanks for this great video! 👌

  • @redricblue8790
    @redricblue8790 2 года назад +3

    Dude you are so relatable

  • @quiquedelcastillo3568
    @quiquedelcastillo3568 2 года назад +3

    I really like your content bro. Cheers from Spain!!

  • @Jardelsr2010
    @Jardelsr2010 2 года назад

    Thank you, Cole! For being you :)

  • @phillipmaniac2066
    @phillipmaniac2066 7 месяцев назад +2

    It's so depressing not fitting in. I feel like when I try to fit in I'm being so fake. It makes me depressed how do I not crave to have friends or relationships?

  • @karlewen2112
    @karlewen2112 2 года назад

    Personally By far your best video to date!
    Keep going Cole

  • @robo9466
    @robo9466 2 года назад +2

    Remember me? I've been watching u since u had maybe 20k subs, and I just wanted to say I'm super proud to see you with 10 times that sub count. Your content has helped me a lot, especially since we have similar interests like lifting and self-help.

  • @jameshayes6366
    @jameshayes6366 2 года назад +1

    Dead poets society is a life changing movie dude

  • @Gerogiafgs
    @Gerogiafgs 2 года назад +3

    I was always trying to fit in .. always, its like a prison that you put youreself in order to be liked, to not be embarrassed , to have the whole crowd agree with you. It doesn't make sense but its the safety net that i got used it and my goal is to get free from that.

  • @lillotus5003
    @lillotus5003 2 года назад +3

    This is the best self help video I’ve ever watched

  • @airflare7285
    @airflare7285 2 года назад

    brooooooo, i was just feelin this and this vid was recommended to me. thanks dude.

  • @imruimiguel
    @imruimiguel 2 года назад

    Cole Hastings you are amazing my dude. Thanks, the best for you!

  • @ikramikram4524
    @ikramikram4524 2 года назад +1

    I truly needed this rn. Thank you

  • @space_time_everything_else
    @space_time_everything_else 2 года назад +1

    Such a wonderful video Cole!
    I'm sure you have a great future in this content creating field.
    Hope you'll be able to do a Ted talk one day!❤️

  • @sicosismusic
    @sicosismusic 2 года назад

    Great video as always, Thank you , yet again. Hoping you feel better soon bro, as your helping me & many others .I was deep in my mind set, as grew up dealing with neglect & abuse prior to being in the care system & whilst in care. So I was taught a really screwed up belief system. After a nervous break down & years of substance abuse , I now am clean from ALL drugs except weed which for me is a BIG positive. Have been alcohol free 5 years ,Am stable on my methadone programme , starting to eat & eat healthy & keeping away from bullshit n bad ppl. Don't mean to go on , but as said previously the advice & the way of thinking & living that I have begun to learn mainly due to yourself & your chan & select few others. Is LIFE CHANGING. Big Respect to ya !
    Also ,Such a Great movie Dead Poets Society aint thought of that one in a long time. Carpe diem, YES BRO! Thanks man, GET WELL SOON YEAH Peace from the UK.

  • @katiteee
    @katiteee 2 года назад +5

    Back when I was in highschool, I read in my own science book "science cannot be proven" and when you think about it thats true. I thought that went with what you were saying in the video and wanted to bring that up. Love your content and your channel dude!

  • @maxhuppertz1921
    @maxhuppertz1921 2 года назад

    As always a masterpiece at the right time in my life. Thank you

  • @sasha-01
    @sasha-01 2 года назад +1

    You’ve become my favourite channel

  • @marceloamado6223
    @marceloamado6223 2 года назад

    That is a great movie! Thanks for the recomendation brother.

  • @JonahKaylor
    @JonahKaylor 2 года назад +2

    Bro! This is my FAVORITE video you’ve made! Everything you’ve said is so true!