You don't fit in, so stop trying to.

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  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024
  • Trying to fit in is making you miserable.
    Get exclusive content/1 on 1 sessions: / colehastings
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    #fittingin #stoptryingtofitin #whyyoudontfitin
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    𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩
    Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I try to help people through sharing my experiences and evolution through life.
    why dont i fit in anywhere, stop trying to fit in motivation, why you dont fit in anywhere, fitting in is bad, fitting in is overrated, why you dont fit in and have 0 friends

Комментарии •

  • @bendwirantwi4405
    @bendwirantwi4405 3 года назад +1554

    It’s like this guy knows everything that’s going on in my life 😂

  • @mig2546
    @mig2546 3 года назад +470

    I’m 22 and never could fit in. I’m being myself forever and don’t care if people leave me for it. I’m not a sheep I like being different

    • @summertimetea4594
      @summertimetea4594 2 года назад +35

      I LOVE who I am, just wish others did too

    • @kkKkK.KK87
      @kkKkK.KK87 2 года назад +2

      Are u an introvert too?

    • @SarukiLIAS
      @SarukiLIAS 2 года назад +15

      @@summertimetea4594 what’s the fun in that , when at the end , you already have the only true love that matters , loving yourself

    • @JimmyJaxJellyStax
      @JimmyJaxJellyStax 2 года назад +2

      It helps just to meet a lot of people and choose a very few to be close to

    • @Jack_Hoff_69
      @Jack_Hoff_69 2 года назад +6

      @@kkKkK.KK87 I'm pervert

  • @Hub71995
    @Hub71995 3 года назад +616

    “There are gems of movies sitting in the dark thanks to some rotten tomatoes score and there’s a gem of yourself sitting in the dark thanks to your unwillingness to break conformity” that’s a gem of a saying right there

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +27

    • @Liv-yr2wk
      @Liv-yr2wk 3 года назад +12

      that's a gem of a comment right here

    • @siddharthchabukswar2
      @siddharthchabukswar2 3 года назад +1

      "Scent of a woman", is one of my favourites

    • @snicksabea
      @snicksabea 2 года назад +1

      Some of those are the best movies! Grandmas Boy!

  • @JAPHETMB
    @JAPHETMB 3 года назад +1579

    If you don’t fit In you’re born to stand out! Be you and always stay authentic

    • @ryegee9464
      @ryegee9464 3 года назад +56

      What if you don’t like to stand out ?

    • @jithinff8686
      @jithinff8686 3 года назад +18

      @@ryegee9464 lol

    • @ryegee9464
      @ryegee9464 3 года назад +6

      @@jithinff8686 right lol

    • @KonesMorroh
      @KonesMorroh 3 года назад +11

      idk about born to stand out but thanks :>

    • @jRex918
      @jRex918 2 года назад +46

      There will be consequences to being yourself. People will pick on you. People will be mean to you. People will ostracize you. Standing out and being yourself will have consequences

  • @meowmy1659
    @meowmy1659 Год назад +88

    I always blame myself for not being ble to fit in. Tried being me, tried being like those who are with me but I always still felt outcasted. At times I tried throwing Jokes no one laughs but if its delivered by a different person, people laugh. Always being there for people but when I am the one who is in need, no one is there...but I still feel blessed at the end of the day because my family loves me..

    • @Terrydon
      @Terrydon Год назад +7

      damn bro i can relate you need to make them respect you or you should find a next friend group

    • @АлександърСтойнов-ф2ч
      @АлександърСтойнов-ф2ч Год назад +3

      If you could know how much I relate to it

    • @euclides9777
      @euclides9777 Год назад +2

      Imo relatable

    • @howtfdoihave115subs7
      @howtfdoihave115subs7 Год назад +5

      This......
      I am exactly like this, no matter what I do, I can never fit in, people always give me that weird side eye whenever I am with them... And no one takes interest in what I sah, but when someone else says that same thing , its like all laughs and stuff.. there is a girl in my class who has pretty much the same sense of humour as me, And she says the same thing I do, but the way she delivers is makes everyone love her, but when I say that, everyone gives me weird looks

    • @kitrep93
      @kitrep93 2 месяца назад

      You just like me fr

  • @nathaliegrammer6209
    @nathaliegrammer6209 3 года назад +356

    I think the common school system is a big part of the problem. Wasting energy for getting better grades in school subjects you're not even interested in..

    • @rail7646
      @rail7646 3 года назад +43

      yep exactly learning stuff that 80% of it doesn't serve you or anyone else something is just an old relict that didn't get touched because it kinda "worked" to seperate willing or not-willing people.

    • @nancy8605
      @nancy8605 3 года назад +2

      SPEAK LOADER

    • @nancy8605
      @nancy8605 3 года назад +3

      SPEAK LOADER

    • @thiago___
      @thiago___ 2 года назад +7

      Nah, people often find joy in things they thought they wouldn't when they have to do then, it is important to study different subjects, so you can learn that you can't have just what you want.

    • @vm4890
      @vm4890 2 года назад

      Many students are taught by teachers required to parrot a curriculum. The curriculum is chosen by people who only have experience in getting elected! The common school system IS a big part of the problem!

  • @scribeofsolace
    @scribeofsolace 3 года назад +250

    I think social media is also a huge catalyst to this notion. Especially when seeing a huge demographic leaning towards specific territories whether it’s the in thing or simply giving them a haven to feel safe or comfortable. You sometimes compare yourself to other people and it’s almost impossible not to. You’re a human after all. This in my observation creates inner competition that nulls you to the fact that you’re becoming someone you’ve compared yourself to….not the person you were meant to be via experience of your own timeline. I think the younger generation focuses to much on what other people are doing and not what they could be doing. Pros and Cons to many intervals with this.

    • @mr12aT
      @mr12aT 2 года назад +6

      Comparing ourselves has been happening in the world for social media began. Social media doesn’t even get a start on the conversation, it is just another vehicle to compare ourselves.
      Begin with industrialisation - marketing, advertising. “keeping up with the Joneses” has been part of our consumer capitalist culture for a couple hundred years now.

    • @jadedjimmy
      @jadedjimmy 2 года назад +2

      You raise a lot of good points. I know that lots of people say that social media overall is just bad, and you shouldn’t pour much of yourself into it, but to me that seems almost like too safe of a route to take. I like to be reminded of what my peers are doing so I can have that push to make myself better and more successful than I am. If I just give up on any sort of competition whatsoever, I can’t help but feel that’s just a lazy way of living, to some degree.

    • @theharshtruthoutthere
      @theharshtruthoutthere 9 месяцев назад

      @@jadedjimmy You belong not, simply because:
      John 15:19 (KJV)
      If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
      you are CHOSEN OUT from this world, TO DO THE WLL OF YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER in this world:
      Matthew 7:21 (KJV)
      Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
      the emptiness which we shall feel inside our souls, is GOD`S quiet voice, calling us to SEEK HIM,
      TO
      GET TO KNOW HIM
      TO
      UNDESTAND HIS WAYS
      TO
      ALLOW HIM BACK INTO OUR LIVES.

  • @ScalesQT
    @ScalesQT 3 года назад +203

    The problem is people make themselves worse just to "be like the others".

    • @ShuElegar
      @ShuElegar Месяц назад

      You mean, we worsen our condition on purpose so we could be different when its actually the same like the others? (Ik you wont get what i meant)

  • @ColeHastings
    @ColeHastings  3 года назад +522

    I tried doing the opposite by driving in the opposite lane. Now im in the hospital. Thanks Cole.

    • @moritz3168
      @moritz3168 3 года назад +28

      Thanks for the movie recommendation, never knew tears could be this beautiful.

    • @Hamza97
      @Hamza97 3 года назад +26

      which mic were you using for this vid pls

    • @apurva7347
      @apurva7347 3 года назад +7

      @@Hamza97 adonisss

    • @Jordan-ng2uv
      @Jordan-ng2uv 3 года назад

      @@Hamza97 I forget the exact name. but i think he said it's the "fi- fine mic" it's a cheaper chinese mic.
      but it gets the job done.
      if you have a bit more to spend a blue yeti nano does wonders.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +19

      @@Hamza97 FFine K669 *kiss*

  • @vladusa
    @vladusa 3 года назад +814

    You either fit in and become miserable because you aren't being yourself, or
    you don't fit in and become miserable because you aren't making friends.

    • @cinnamoroll_118
      @cinnamoroll_118 2 года назад +76

      The second one is me

    • @MrSandManBringMeADream
      @MrSandManBringMeADream 2 года назад +15

      so whats the solution here

    • @vladusa
      @vladusa 2 года назад +58

      @@MrSandManBringMeADream Be something you aren't to impress people you don't care about for reasons you connect to your morals.

    • @MrSandManBringMeADream
      @MrSandManBringMeADream 2 года назад +7

      @@vladusa sounds about right. thanks for the answer after one year!

    • @vladusa
      @vladusa 2 года назад +3

      @@MrSandManBringMeADream one day*

  • @briannasandner5921
    @briannasandner5921 3 года назад +188

    Cole, this one hit home for me. There was really never a point in my life where I “fit in.” Only recently, within the past year or two in college, have I began to accept that as a positive. I don’t want to be like everyone else, as a matter of fact, that sounds awful to me. I would rather be completely alone and at peace than surrounded by people who make me feel lonely. Love your content so much, it makes me feel finally understood. Keep up the amazing work you do. Much love. ❤️

    • @nadineskye7050
      @nadineskye7050 3 года назад +4

      Same, Brianna! Much love to you too!

    • @asvalias
      @asvalias 3 года назад +5

      I feel you!

    • @en2p187
      @en2p187 3 года назад +9

      Brene brown talks about belonging vs fitting in. We are social creatures after all, the solution isn't always to be alone (though solititude isn't so bad and I like it), just consider there may be more alternatives.

    • @briannasandner5921
      @briannasandner5921 3 года назад +8

      @@en2p187 For sure, I love Brene. :) Personally I am an introvert and a highly sensitive person, so for the longest I thought there was something wrong with me. I always wished I could socialize like other people, but it genuinely drains me. Over time I’ve come to accept that there is nothing wrong with preferring solitude, and I have used that to better myself.

    • @en2p187
      @en2p187 3 года назад +5

      @@briannasandner5921 that's great that you've come to accept that part of yourself! And glad to see another brene fan out in the wild haha 😄

  • @paullopez2021
    @paullopez2021 3 года назад +145

    I've realized very recently that I do NOT fit in my workplace at all. Where I work is very Disney-like. Everyone is expected to be happy and cheerful, and ask customers what I feel to be invasive questions in the name of "homeyness." Non-conformity to this toxic positivity is looked down upon. It all makes me wanna puke -- and I now know for a fact that I'm an entrepreneur at heart. THANK YOU for this video, Cole. :)

    • @corinawhite6457
      @corinawhite6457 3 года назад +1

      sorry to hear that know how you feel I am a big miss fit because I am transgender and gamer and adult baby side of life because of stressful life events 🤗🍼

    • @melonagbaby
      @melonagbaby Год назад

      I work in a very similar situation but I instead I decided being authentic was the best solution cause I would get customers that don't quite like the intrusive either and that totally worked at least for me. Fact is there are a bunch of people seeking for what they think it's more comfortable. I smile a lot and don't ask questions just let the environment let them say it all.

    • @idrk1507
      @idrk1507 2 месяца назад

      I kindly disagree, to some degree, you shouldn't be yourself at jobs if the job mandates being a particular way you're not fond of. It's part of the customer service job

  • @Sloan_Alone
    @Sloan_Alone 3 года назад +57

    This reminded me of a comment one of my friends made… “I’d rather people love me or hate me, I just never want to be the ‘meh’ guy”

    • @plantmama7442
      @plantmama7442 3 года назад +6

      Damn love this 💯💯

    • @saras756
      @saras756 2 года назад +1

      A swedish author, Hjalmar Söderberg 1869-1941, formulated precisely this ”You want to be loved, in lack thereof admired, in lack thereof feared, in lack thereof hated and dispised. You want to instill a feeling of some kind in people.”(directly translated to the best of my ability). He ends by concluding that, above all, the soul hates the emptiness, and wants contact - to whatever cost.

  • @FoenyxFeather
    @FoenyxFeather 2 года назад +60

    This is something I knew instinctively growing up Aspergers, and everyone called me crazy for. This video is like water. It feels healing to watch. I'm damn right. I'm not crazy, and I never was.

    • @nathanadnitt
      @nathanadnitt 2 года назад +4

      That was beautiful man "like water" your on some bruce lee shit mate haha

    • @ShiverRightOnYT
      @ShiverRightOnYT Год назад

      Same

  • @kingsoltani9307
    @kingsoltani9307 2 года назад +21

    I am 13 and I realized how much of a nerd I was in elementary school in the past year and don't fit in even now. Social media is the biggest reason why I felt nerdy plus all the games that the majority play, the information and interests that the majority have in common but I don't have makes feel like I don't fit in. Thank you, this video made me feel better.

  • @ryanbarker3978
    @ryanbarker3978 3 года назад +359

    Remember when you are the guy that has nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. That's actually the most powerful position you can be in.

    • @jaedanbellamy66
      @jaedanbellamy66 3 года назад +26

      I feel like I'm bout to collapse but I also feel like I'm destined for greatness so I'm not gonna give up my time is coming

    • @fuzzypanda1684
      @fuzzypanda1684 2 года назад +2

      Sure but by definition as soon as you get anything at all you're no longer in that position. Just by having a phone and the internet to write this, you have something to lose.

    • @hbennett5640
      @hbennett5640 Год назад

      Love this❤

    • @nyxxose
      @nyxxose 11 месяцев назад

      Not if you’re behind bars….
      That’s not strength, that’s cowardice.

    • @idrk1507
      @idrk1507 2 месяца назад

      @@fuzzypanda1684
      Exactly, so make use of when you have nothing to lose, because it's a powerful unparalleled position you can't be in when you do have things to lose!
      Having a phone and internet doesn't take away from the quote, that would be taking it too literally

  • @lillywantsheranchovypizza107
    @lillywantsheranchovypizza107 3 года назад +81

    i love this video. the rotten tomatoes thing is true. a lot of my favorite movies have terrible ratings but i love them nonetheless. i hate to think that if as a kid i had access to those ratings, would i have passed up on those movies? you absolutely have to go against the crowd when it feels right to you to. i think that trying hard to fit in will actually keep you from yourself and truest form of happiness after so long. it gets tiring.

  • @voodooo69
    @voodooo69 3 года назад +120

    At the ripe age of 37 I've finally excepted this. I love my isolation now and I'm not lonely.

    • @heavensea141
      @heavensea141 3 года назад +18

      You simple more introverted by nature.
      I was entery life, been so annoyed by peoples don't understand I don't get my inner peace of mind if I don't get my solitude exactly when I need it.

    • @desireeadjei9033
      @desireeadjei9033 3 года назад +11

      I guess I am not the only one who finally accepted this at 21

    • @peace606
      @peace606 3 года назад +7

      I dont think its healty to think like that. Im 22. I also thought like that for a while, but then im realized im just ignoring the existence of my social desire and suffering inside.
      Humans are social animals. You have to have a fulfilling social life to be happy.

    • @a.kedits8720
      @a.kedits8720 3 года назад

      You need a physicist my Friend

    • @a.kedits8720
      @a.kedits8720 3 года назад

      Loneliness is deadly stop telling other that it is cool and ok to be alone
      Be practical my friend and try to live in a real world not a world that is created by you

  • @symesalexander5294
    @symesalexander5294 3 года назад +80

    "Being different is a blessing not a Curse " 😎💯

    • @corinawhite6457
      @corinawhite6457 3 года назад +4

      ty for this I felt like curse at times because I am transgender and gamer and adult baby side of life because of stressful life events and no matter my gender do say or Act I can't win in life and so broken by this world Ty for your tip trying my best in life 🤗🍼

    • @symesalexander5294
      @symesalexander5294 3 года назад

      @@corinawhite6457 💯

    • @upbestsalt1551
      @upbestsalt1551 2 года назад +11

      It kinda is a curse because people will ridicule you for being yourself

    • @symesalexander5294
      @symesalexander5294 2 года назад

      @@upbestsalt1551 Yeah been Ridiculed my entire life

    • @dr.coomer8210
      @dr.coomer8210 Год назад +3

      Its a curse

  • @Cavegeckosol
    @Cavegeckosol 3 года назад +47

    I think that authenticity should encompass more than this platonic idea of self. In reality, our authentic experience includes our pasts, our memories, and our interactions with people. The self is fluid, not a fixed point we all strive for like most self help gurus say. Conformity is part of the authentic self. We do it for a reason. Maybe it is biological or societal, but the urge to conform is part of who we are, even as individuals. If you are aware of this, it allows you to experience things on a deeper level. The choice to conform or diverge is ultimately ours to make, and it is the nature of that choice that is authentic to us.

    • @michaelhampner7672
      @michaelhampner7672 Год назад

      Great comment.

    • @Hubcool367
      @Hubcool367 9 месяцев назад

      Yup. Trying to suppress that deep need for "conformity", that fundamental need to fit in and belong in order to feel more "authentic", is ironically one of the least authentic things you could do. Of course, denying your urge for "authenticity" would also be inauthentic. I'm actually not even sure what the solution is, because there's almost always going to be a deep contradiction inside of yourself, at any moment at least a part of your authentic self that will never be fully expressed. On the other hand, you've never and will never be able to express any more or any less than all of the contradictions that make up your self at any given moment, and while that may feel inauthentic to yourself and/or others, it is as authentic, as fully you in all your complexities as it could possibly be.

  • @meanwhileinespoo1265
    @meanwhileinespoo1265 3 года назад +35

    There is also an epidemic of people TRYING to be different.. dont mistake that for being you.. try a day without giving yourself demands or rules that make you normal... I have never fitted in anywhere with anyone.. at any time.. I tried and tried.... people will use you... people will hurt you... till they see something they never expected about you....

  • @albatross_407
    @albatross_407 3 года назад +39

    I swear Cole, there's this weird universal relationship between the exact moment your videos come out and the goings-on of my life. Your videos come out at exactly the right time when I need them most. That video you made for over-thinkers? It released around the exact time where I was buried in my own thoughts stressing over every single detail up to the point where I second-guessed myself. And then there's that video you made regarding the 6-month rule, which came out exactly when I was planning on changing my life for the better and was thinking long-term objectives. And then this, a video with the central theme of authenticity at a time where I've been questioning who I truly am as a person and what I stand for. At every single pitstop where I felt my life was going nowhere, you came out of the blue and guided me to where I am now, so thank you so much for everything you do. There's definitely a beautiful reason why you were made a part of many people's lives and this relationship I have with you is a testament to that.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +7

      Damn, that's amazing. Thank you for this

    • @klausschwab4019
      @klausschwab4019 2 года назад +1

      Did you know your search history, everything youve watched, every time youve asked google something, your data is fed into a database, then googles AI systems compare you to others that are the same age, with the same problems, who have liked a certain video, and they will suggest you watch that video. So that you click and watch it and generate them money through ad revenue. Maybe thats why the videos seem to magically pop up at the right time in your life.

  • @fapplebees8925
    @fapplebees8925 3 года назад +21

    On another note, Rip Robin Williams. You had so much more to offer man. We miss you.

  • @AJBuddha
    @AJBuddha Год назад +14

    Fitting in is a waste of time
    Just do what makes you happy dude ‼️

  • @carpenoctem775
    @carpenoctem775 Год назад +9

    I learned this lesson a long time ago. I always struggled for acceptance and belonging as a boy. Insecurity. Now as a man I embrace my individuality and value my inner peace and headspace regardless of the opinions of others. It’s a journey that was paved on a rough path, but it’s worth it. Never give up on that, no matter how long it takes.

  • @nickcarterr
    @nickcarterr 3 года назад +87

    You truly deserve more subs and views. These videos are highly intelligent and therapeutic.

  • @Bogdii
    @Bogdii 3 года назад +30

    I've learned so much from watching you these past few weeks. Congrats on 200k!

  • @Ocranix
    @Ocranix Год назад +17

    Not only should you not fit in, don't feel like you don't belong. I often think "I don't belong here" whether its in a class or at a church. But you just have to think to yourself "what makes them belong more than I do?" and then you realize it's nothing at all.

  • @MarcusChaiT_T
    @MarcusChaiT_T 3 года назад +33

    My high school literature teacher forced all of us to watch Dead Poet's Society in her class. Till today I am very thankful for her actions in the past.

  • @priyanshiagarwal1572
    @priyanshiagarwal1572 Год назад +13

    Yesterday, I was feeling so down. I recorded myself and talked to myself (it's something I do when I'm lonely, it makes me feel there's someone else), and I cried two times for this exact reason. I never fit in. Seeing so many people on here saying the same thing is both sad and happy to me.
    Sad because I'm well aware of how hard life is when you have literally no one to talk to. (who understands you) and happy because there's hope. We all could connect with each other?
    All i know is that it's always good knowing you're not alone. This comment section made me feel so. The video was awesome too. I'm gonna watch that movie today.
    I'm hoping when I get to finally go to the UK, I'll fit in. Yes, I know the video said it's okay not to, but you really can't live a life without another. But what I can do, is hold on till I meet someone who understands me, gets me and makes me feel at home.
    xxx

    • @aalulaa2549
      @aalulaa2549 Год назад

      You will find your people 💙

  • @danielrust5398
    @danielrust5398 3 года назад +16

    Get better Cole and thanks for feeding me wisdom. I believe that we can act like ourselves until we conquer social anxiety. Thanks for the wisdom.

  • @isaacu6473
    @isaacu6473 3 года назад +8

    When you said everything you consumed is where you are now. This really reminded me of when I heard Andrew Kirby say, “Every thing in your past has gotten you to where you are now”. It doesn’t define you, and there is no point dwelling on it. All you have is the present moment. Live today as it will be your last. Time is precious.

  • @tylercoleman4235
    @tylercoleman4235 3 года назад +14

    I love what you do so much man, you seriously had such a huge part in me getting over a breakup 6 months ago, you helped out a lot. Your content is so good I felt like I don’t deserve to be watching it for free 😂 so I subbed to your Patreon.

  • @mikaeladavid7166
    @mikaeladavid7166 3 года назад +7

    I love that you're speaking on this concept. Only recently did I start to look within myself for answers. In the past, I always looked to other people for advice on how to live MY life. Also when you said that we should all challenge science and "facts".. I LOVE THIS. I started realizing that not every "fact" is the truth for EVERYONE. We may all be the same species but we're really different in a lot of ways (e.g. biological disposition, upbringing, and other factors) so I would be surprised if a "fact" applies to literally every single person on earth. I think you're absolutely right. We need to try things for ourselves instead of being influenced (without question) just because society says so. Again, thank you, this is extremely valuable information that I think should be shared!! :)

  • @marinaSassygUrl88
    @marinaSassygUrl88 2 года назад +5

    Thank you so much for this video. I’ve seen this video long ago, the title and the click bait really spoke to me but I didn’t watch until I felt ready.
    You said so much of the things I always think of; or more specifically, started to think of now.
    What motivated me to get out of my very closed minded, narrow minded view points and thoughts on the world. We have been soooo afraid to even said ONE thing that isn’t the “ norm” because we will get hate mobbed online, I find it ironic because in real life, these same people are the most insecure and cowardly people ever. I know I am judging a lot, but the way these people online think [negative people] really irk me. There’s no one right opinion, and that’s something people seem to be doing a lot. Myself included and I dislike when I do it. They seemed to shut any conversation soooo quickly by “ science said so” and I agree with you, I wholeheartedly support science. These people take decades of their lives to search and study topics I can’t even comprehend, but that doesn’t mean they are always right. What happened to the scientific method? I studied that at school, it was in every science book literally, and it always insinuated how scientists FAIL times and times again till they get something right: there’s no magic. and I remember feeling better about being called an “idiot” sometimes because look, even scientists take ages till they get the experiment to work and get their results! They take time to see what works or not- they are after all- only human. And they can be wrong… I can count so many things the science has done that was “ factually wrong” a long time ago but now isn’t. I do understand some people who are bigoted can use this argument against science, but I am not referring to those people ofc. Just the overall attitude with “ you’re wrong, cause science said so” like it’s a new religion.
    My recent experiences on the whole mob mentality was on reddit, I hate that app with a passion. Everyone there either are little kids who think they are tough or conditioned thinkers adults. I got downvoted to filth for sharing an opposing opinion on a discussion matter, no it wasn’t a rude comment, just a discussion and a matter of opinion. And that was sad, not even people disagreeing with me, which always makes me happy as I see it as an opportunity to learn and it’s a fresh new mental challenge; but just nasty and mean just because they think their opinion matches the crowd. I got downvoted so much, and it’s prone to happen when some folks think you’re wrong because you’re not them. It’s hard to accept difference. Again I don’t hate disagreements, I hate ignorance and hateful energy that is so unnecessary and doesn’t even educate me.
    And the rotten tomatoes thing, I agree, recently I told myself “ I always listen to peoples reviews, well maybe I will like it? “ and I enjoyed that. It was a great movie indeed that people didn’t like.

  • @piyushhk.j7506
    @piyushhk.j7506 3 года назад +7

    Thank you I really needed this I was trying to fit in with the cool guys since school and at college but I eventually landed up with bad habits and low self esteem. I relate to it too much.

  • @brigidoconnor-gj8dq
    @brigidoconnor-gj8dq 11 месяцев назад +1

    Hi Cole, I am Brigid from Australia. I only just today found your site on RUclips, and I’ve got to say that I’m very impressed with your work and thoughts!!! I’m going to watch Dead poets society asap! I love listening to and learning about people who are thinkers! You are so very insightful for someone your age! Thank you so very much for this discussion today. Namaste, and thanks again 🙏😊

  • @HunterGT1
    @HunterGT1 2 года назад +5

    I feel depressed and have anxiety and I’ve been trying to fit in for so long bit I realized that nobody gives a shit about my style or me and I’ve gained some self doubt lost

  • @FunkyGalilea
    @FunkyGalilea 3 года назад +8

    Brilliant way of spreading the message using concepts from Jean Baudrillard and Friedrich Nietzsche. Idk if that was intentional, but it was so smooth! Subscribed

  • @bellaviebravery
    @bellaviebravery 3 года назад +2

    gosh! That’s why divine is within all of US. These few years i’ve awaken and i’m struggling to fit in anywhere! I thought i was crazy & i have personality disorder! Then i slowly find out it’s my soul the inner voice that kept pulling me in when i tried to fit in, kept stopping me when i tried to pleasing others…Now finally I got the answer! Thanks ! You explained it very thoroughly !

  • @dbern939
    @dbern939 2 года назад +3

    God damn Cole, I'm so glad you're so good a putting your thoughts in words.

  • @tatumtots25
    @tatumtots25 2 года назад +3

    this has severely changed my perspective on my life. You just earned yourself a sub, your the goat and keep up the great work

  • @plathrop7737
    @plathrop7737 Год назад +2

    Awesome analogy using Dead Poet’s Society. I’m an outsider and spiritual too. Thanks for this great video! 👌

  • @highliving-animatedvideos5831
    @highliving-animatedvideos5831 3 года назад +39

    Reminder: *everyday is a great day to be yourself* ..even if it might not feel as such ❤️🚀🌙

    • @1CT1
      @1CT1 3 года назад +1

      Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (share the good news of the gospel around the world!) Have a wonderful day/night, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!,.,,,,,,

    • @coolpfpbut9505
      @coolpfpbut9505 3 года назад +1

      Everyday*

    • @Keedro
      @Keedro 3 года назад +1

      oki

    • @highliving-animatedvideos5831
      @highliving-animatedvideos5831 3 года назад

      @@coolpfpbut9505 that does sound better. Comment edited 😃

    • @highliving-animatedvideos5831
      @highliving-animatedvideos5831 3 года назад

      @@Keedro that’s the spirit 😂👍🏻❤️

  • @mikkelrregaard6127
    @mikkelrregaard6127 3 года назад +4

    I love your channel Cole. On my journey to become the best version of myself and your videos are so helpful. Much love from Denmark.

  • @wren5291
    @wren5291 3 года назад +2

    It's so sad, but something of an epiphany just now whilst watching this video. I was rarely ever told 'no' by my mother - she is very open minded and always gently obliged me and gave me space to explore and enquire - and yet the biggest form of disrespect for the only parent I have left has been conforming to society instead of being my authentic genuine self, as reminded me by her throughout my whole life.
    I also find it kind of sad/odd that movies like Dead Poet's Society teach us more about the profundities of life than school/life actually does. However, I'm certainly very grateful that they exist. I learned more from that film - and others - than I ever learned in school. I'm glad that you discovered it and have made mention of it in your videos for others to discover. It should never be forgotten! Excellent video!👍🏼

  • @krishnadevk3467
    @krishnadevk3467 3 года назад +5

    Cole i've been following you for a while now...and your edits and way of presenting has improved a lot.kudos,brother!
    and again as always....effing relatable content man .

  • @Vertgito
    @Vertgito 3 года назад +3

    Congrats on 200K you deserve it and the term "Dare to be different" has always been an understatement, sad to say things like this aren't taught too well in schools or pushed to the public as much as they should... and most people nowadays really don't understand that it's way easier and more fulfilling to be yourself than to try to keep up with the media and in-crowd, keep doing what you do my guy much love 💪🏾

  • @ashley14579
    @ashley14579 3 года назад +2

    I love your timing, whenever I don't know what to do you are posting. Love you

  • @kaushikdr
    @kaushikdr 3 года назад +8

    As someone who firmly believes in science; I think that we also need to trust our experience. For example, when people tell me "free will doesn't scientifically exist", I accept that there might not be science to back it up, but I do experience free will and its results on my actions on an every day basis.
    So I believe that science has not found everything that is yet to be found. But if there is good science backing up a claim, like maybe why planets move faster at certain points in their orbit or that liquids move by laminar flow, and you trust it both intellectually and experientially, then I think there is good reason to trust it.

  • @jayshmoney2318
    @jayshmoney2318 2 года назад +1

    Out of the 3 videos (this being the 3rd one) I’m convinced your authentic ideas are very helpful for many of use and you got my subscription

  • @DemetriPanici
    @DemetriPanici 3 года назад +34

    *I'm a big self-improvement guy. I love productivity apps. I know I'm different and the more that I've accepted that the happier I have become*

    • @ren.8137
      @ren.8137 3 года назад +1

      Try writing funny comments and people will follow u

    • @deutschlernen8697
      @deutschlernen8697 2 года назад +1

      @@ren.8137 ???

  • @lillotus5003
    @lillotus5003 3 года назад +3

    This is the best self help video I’ve ever watched

  • @katiteee
    @katiteee 2 года назад +5

    Back when I was in highschool, I read in my own science book "science cannot be proven" and when you think about it thats true. I thought that went with what you were saying in the video and wanted to bring that up. Love your content and your channel dude!

  • @Carlos-nx7is
    @Carlos-nx7is 3 года назад +4

    Congrats on the 200k Cole!!! + Idk if this happens to anyone else but whenever you make a video of this topics I feel like this strong positive vibe from you it's amazing, never change my guy

  • @bunsenn5064
    @bunsenn5064 Год назад +2

    I embraced this aspect. I focused on improving myself and I really built up a diverse set of abilities. But no matter how successful I was, there was always a void that never could be filled. It ate at me constantly, and still does. I think that as hard as I try to function on my own, I always find myself suffering from the social isolation.

  • @dalilagarcia7230
    @dalilagarcia7230 Месяц назад +1

    I have always felt like something is wrong with me and for some reason I just don't fit in with society. I was a homeschool kid from grades 7th-12th and it is so easy for people around me or therapists to blame it on that but I can recall being in public elementary school and still not fitting in. I have beaten my head for years trying to figure out what my issue is. Even when I am the nicest I can be or the cliche "be yourself" it never works. If I have friends usually it is because I adjusted myself to their liking. At this point, idk what my issue is. It's almost like feeling like some kind of mutant among normal people. Even at my nicest and most caring I have been ignored, disregarded, and even been given ugly looks by people that just seem annoyed that I am even talking. I am always forgotten or disregarded, never invited to get togethers or baby showers. I just exist to exist, frankly, I feel like I will die alone one day but at that point it won't even matter. I also had a therapist back in college that constantly said that I kept yearning for my pack. Well, nearly 5 years later there is still no fucking pack and don't believe their is one. At this point, I am just trying to accept that some of us just aren't liked by other people and will never be someone to hangout with or even go to lunch with.

  • @petrpernikovec6601
    @petrpernikovec6601 3 года назад +3

    Hey man, i am really sensitive person and i love how you make videos. Your voice and speech is clear and not disturbing, like bad spelling or talking in that "charismatic guru" way. Editing is great as well, because you say something and do it in visual way, like "do the right thing" and the sentence flip to emphasize to do the opposite. Thanks for your videos.

    • @totomare4528
      @totomare4528 3 года назад

      I can connect you with someone who helped me attract my ex back to me after the breakup. 👇👇👇👇👇👇

    • @totomare4528
      @totomare4528 3 года назад

      Message him on WhatsApp

    • @totomare4528
      @totomare4528 3 года назад

      †2349056406417⏯⏯⏮⏮

  • @quiquedelcastillo3568
    @quiquedelcastillo3568 3 года назад +3

    I really like your content bro. Cheers from Spain!!

  • @hibye8445
    @hibye8445 3 года назад +6

    I enjoy watching the full ad when i know it will support someone like you 💙

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +4

      Thank you ❤

    • @panch8270
      @panch8270 3 года назад +2

      wow, what a beautiful thing you said. appreciated bro

    • @panch8270
      @panch8270 3 года назад +2

      we need more people like you. who knows how to contribute,who is doing hardwork.

    • @hibye8445
      @hibye8445 3 года назад +2

      @@panch8270 if we don't help each other noone will , that is the least thing we can do to someone who gets tired and put his time into something with good quality .

  • @Vledimor
    @Vledimor 2 года назад +3

    I was always trying to fit in .. always, its like a prison that you put youreself in order to be liked, to not be embarrassed , to have the whole crowd agree with you. It doesn't make sense but its the safety net that i got used it and my goal is to get free from that.

  • @jameshayes6366
    @jameshayes6366 3 года назад +1

    Dead poets society is a life changing movie dude

  • @alyssajones4368
    @alyssajones4368 2 года назад +8

    Fuck "fitting in" I just do my own thing and keep it moving.

  • @adofficialchannel4831
    @adofficialchannel4831 3 года назад +1

    Man! This hits harrrd! Thank you from the bottom of my heart dude!

  • @Jujulianap
    @Jujulianap 3 года назад +1

    You’re so bright! Thank you for the amazing content! 🌼

  • @ChibiTalha
    @ChibiTalha 3 года назад +2

    Dang, you never miss, brother

  • @ambrishaggarwal9033
    @ambrishaggarwal9033 3 года назад +3

    This is the video I needed , I don't fit in the popular group of my school, all my friends want to be the part of it or are the part of it , but I just don't fit in , it makes me uncomfortable and conscious of myself.

  • @Miamidollasign
    @Miamidollasign 3 года назад +1

    I LOVE watching your videos.. I follow a lot of people but can easily watch your video all the way through

  • @jemalo-cszweitausend
    @jemalo-cszweitausend 3 дня назад

    I grew up in a city (Berlin), where people move towards to be their self and to break conformity, ... in return however, breaking conformity has become a sort of "new conformity". So in Berlin we have diffrent sorts of "conformities", incudling those who are desperate in breaking out of it in oder to find "themselves" by buying "hand-made" and "artsy" things to express their individuality, wich basically makes them materialists, wich is also a form of conformity.
    So whenever I actually meet brilliant people who are actually "themselves" it ends up warming my heart even more so. And it doesn't matter who they are and what they do for a living, as long as they kept that humility inside their work, their being and their indivudality.

  • @sasha-01
    @sasha-01 2 года назад +1

    You’ve become my favourite channel

  • @CareBlair222
    @CareBlair222 2 года назад +3

    I love not fitting in. I look the part but I don't play the part. I am a hot mess goddess!! Be you, do you and screw anyone who is hating!

  • @rickace132
    @rickace132 4 месяца назад +4

    I can't fit in society at all. I just can't, I've tried, but can't. I think because of this, people don't like me. They fear me because I'm not like them, I'm free.

  • @JonahKaylor
    @JonahKaylor 3 года назад +2

    Bro! This is my FAVORITE video you’ve made! Everything you’ve said is so true!

  • @rockjockchick
    @rockjockchick 3 года назад

    Omg. Thank you. You are actually thinking for yourself! Wisdom. Listen to this man ppl.

  • @ikramikram4524
    @ikramikram4524 3 года назад +1

    I truly needed this rn. Thank you

  • @nancy8605
    @nancy8605 3 года назад +4

    I don't fit in and i don't wanna fit in but it feels like poeple around me have different and false assumptions of me.

  • @DMaineMusic
    @DMaineMusic 3 года назад

    My guy you hit my life issues as if I’ve told you my problems and then you make a video. 😭 Hits my soul. Thank you for this message. 💎💪🏾

  • @Cmyztry
    @Cmyztry 3 года назад +2

    Very genuine. I agreed 100%! Carpe diem.
    I also think that's what is wrong with fads. Everyone conforming to the same thing and if they don't they are the outsider. Group Think. I was never one to do what everyone else does. Be unique, and do you!

  • @DTM2K25
    @DTM2K25 3 месяца назад +1

    Rotten tomatoes is a great analogy

  • @giulix1825
    @giulix1825 3 года назад +2

    I literally love your videos!! They always come at the right time when i need them the most!!! 😫☺️
    PLEASE come to liechtenstein (between austria and switzerland) and we will meditate, journal and read self help books together!!!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️

  • @mattlabishak4340
    @mattlabishak4340 3 года назад +10

    I keep a whiteboard in my office where I record statements that made me think. Your 8 minute video gave me two more. The happiest people are the ones who do whatever the hell they want (be yourself) and confront what is instilled in you to be the truth. Thanks for the information. Hope you feel better soon.

  • @robo9466
    @robo9466 3 года назад +2

    Remember me? I've been watching u since u had maybe 20k subs, and I just wanted to say I'm super proud to see you with 10 times that sub count. Your content has helped me a lot, especially since we have similar interests like lifting and self-help.

  • @royramirez7131
    @royramirez7131 3 года назад +3

    Like Phoebe Buffet said in Friends. At one point the greatest minds thought the Earth was flat until someone proved them wrong. I like this saying "It's only impossible until someone does it."

  • @ayafresh
    @ayafresh Год назад +1

    So yes, the way jealousy works, it's actually better NOT to fit in, but when no one will go to lunch with you because of jealous gossip/lies, even though you're really nice, pretty, and smart, it gets old, for as long as you allow it to matter. Just flip the switch, go out there, and chase life (God willing)! Yay!

  • @johnjennings9693
    @johnjennings9693 8 месяцев назад +1

    It's better to think outside the box, because when you're in the box it's too late, seriously great video thanks for that,

  • @troylane8164
    @troylane8164 3 года назад +4

    I’m so glad that you mentioned Dead Poets Society! This film means a lot to me. Find your own voice. Have the courage to live your own life and be yourself. Carpe Diem!

  • @prworswick
    @prworswick 3 года назад +1

    Cole, your content keeps getting better and better. I can see a big change in you, it won't be long till your channel hits that million mark.

  • @SchuyFit
    @SchuyFit 3 года назад +2

    Cole, your videos are incredible! You're touching on so many important topics that have the ability to change peoples lives.

  • @guybored4694
    @guybored4694 2 года назад +1

    There is only one thing to blame for my confusion, questions and insecurities. High school.. and the pricks around it that made me mentally suffer.

  • @raytweets
    @raytweets 3 года назад +1

    Cole, you simply rock man!

  • @laradara7175
    @laradara7175 3 года назад +3

    Hmm I tried to fit in from ages, knowing Dan well I’m forcing it or pretending to be someone I’m not ... but I’m 23 now and I have more self love for myself currently comfortable being my true myself instead of wearing a mask and bring someone else ..

  • @johnvillagomez5676
    @johnvillagomez5676 Год назад +2

    There was a time where I became full of doubt and insecurity because I began to notice how different I was from society. Instead of recognizing my differences as something good, I adapted into a bad habit of seeing it as a curse. You see growing up, I’ve always been and have felt different. I was never into sports or the drinking and partying lifestyle. Because if these things, I was judged and made fun of and was even peer pressured at times. My dating life has not been much of a success and I have been rejected hundreds of times. And because I had these doubts and insecurities, I began to slip into this pattern of constantly trying to analyze the past and how my life could have been different if I would have just lived differently. I went as far as to think that if I would have made stupid decisions, would have partied and got drunk, then perhaps my dating life would have been better but that is such an illusional way of thinking. Long story short, I was only second guessing the outcome of my life just so I could have place to belong with people. I didn’t want people to see the real me and my flaws. So I went around and began asking so many random girls for their numbers just so I could show that I wasn’t afraid to approach them. Hell this got exhausting really quick and it made me feel worse. The bottom line is take my story for example. A lot of the issues that I delt with came from me feeling the need to impress others when the truth is I am who I am for a reason and that is to make a difference in the lives of people like you. So please don’t be afraid to be who you are in front of people because I guarantee you if you do that, you will discover who is truly there for you and who isn’t. Don’t be afraid to have people walk away from you cause in the end it’s their loss and not yours. I hope you all have a blessed night and that God blesses you according to what he has in store for you.

  • @tangerinesarebetterthanora7060
    @tangerinesarebetterthanora7060 2 года назад +2

    Both paths are painful, but I know which one is worth suffering for.

  • @koraysaglik1281
    @koraysaglik1281 3 года назад +1

    Been watching some of your videos for a short while now, and I just wanted to say I love them, you give very good advice which has helped me out a lot, and I am sure it has helped many others! Thank you

  • @trrillt
    @trrillt 3 года назад

    Wow you helped me so much cole 🥺 thank you for being a part of my journey

  • @DenshaOtoko2
    @DenshaOtoko2 5 месяцев назад

    Cole, I got into a philosophy club and philosophy class in my first community college. So I have been a rebel who rocked the boat and was a hipster since I was 20 years old.

  • @fywbyisaiahfloyd9627
    @fywbyisaiahfloyd9627 3 года назад

    Bro your videos have grown so much. This video is by far my favorite one you ever put out. I really appreciate this video. Keep going bro.

  • @Thedevilisaliar23
    @Thedevilisaliar23 2 месяца назад +1

    Not fitting in is a super power - once you realize it try to recruit other misfits ..

  • @phillipmaniac2066
    @phillipmaniac2066 11 месяцев назад +2

    It's so depressing not fitting in. I feel like when I try to fit in I'm being so fake. It makes me depressed how do I not crave to have friends or relationships?

  • @luketabidze8175
    @luketabidze8175 2 года назад +1

    Great video man, I've been watching some of your stuff and majority of them have been eye opening, and they've helped me look within myself and to change myself for the better. Thanks so much ♥️