That laid back attitude is what pulls ya in. I have also noticed he is a man of few words. No cracking jokes, no extra fluffy words. Every thing he says is on point. Only Talking when its necessary is a great way to put more weight on your words!
@@invictus4807 everyone else is either agreeing or adding to OP's comment, you're the one who's being insecure, if that's called being beta. Sounds like self projecting, buddy.
These are some incredibly effective ways to instantly command respect from people: - Be vocal about your flaws - Compliment people around you - Hold your ground - Keep your word - Improve your body language
Except be vocal about your flaws. Instead know your "flaws and limitations" and keep them hidden well. Never be vocal of such things for people to possibly use as power over you.
Tommy had something most people don't. He had no fear of death as he had faced it many times during the war. He, basically, had nothing to lose as he felt he was living on borrowed time anyway. Combine that lack of fear with an analytical mind and you have a very strong personality indeed.
@Samson 92 do you think you are edgy now for stating that you dont fear of death and claiming you have depression? the real guys out there that have real depression wont go around in yt vid comments and "flexing" with their mental problems, because they are actually ashamed of it, because they actually have that and they really dont want to have it, they try to chage for good, and especially, because of their lack of desire for life, they wont even probably have the energy to turn on their phone or computer, not like you who running around flexing with a serious mental problem. you probably just plain miserable, father went away ur mom prob cant do any motivation and u stuck at ur screen with waay too much time in ur miserable life, go out touch some grass, and stop falsely claiming a serious mental problem, cause within some time no ones gonna believe to an even chronically depressed guy because idots like you set this attention seeking a trend. ppl like you legit make me wanna throw up
@@tomystark5606 Fear of death is irrational, because you will never experiance it, you will never experiance anything other than being alive, you won't know you're dead. You can fear the process of dying, that can involve pain and suffering, you can fear being forgotten or forgetting everything, you can fear the expanse of eternity. Personally I actually fear at some point during that eternity, becoming aware of it, and having to experiance eternity. I would prefer if the end was truly the end, which is why I'm not religious. But death itself is nothing to fear, for it is nothing itself.
There's a book called Casanova Optimization of Attraction, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts. it's the real deal...
As an introverted person, I’ve learned that the very first point he made about having slow movements is true. Before, I used to rush to do things, making it clear that I was always in a hurry. I started to be meticulous about everything, and people who I later befriended said I seemed confident. It works lol
It can go both ways Having no hesitation and quick movement makes you seem devoted Having slow movement makes you seem methodical I'll try to do the slow movement thing more and see what happens I think it's important for energy preservation, introspection, and presence
@@enricoleon_3302 Oh I didn't explicitly test anything too much since my social calendar isn't the fullest right now. I've been in a more introspective period recently When I walk slowly it forces me to be more patient and reflect more often and I don't really notice any social change, I think it comes across as intimidating sometimes though, at least that's what someone told me last year (i move slowly naturally, this was before i was aware of it and tried to move slower intentionally). I am also unsure how much people respect me since that is not really something you can gauge unless you ask, but I don't often feel disrespected so maybe it plays a part in that, but I often let people talk over me since I don't like interrupting them so maybe that's a form of disrespect if you think about it? I don't like being in people's faces and trying too hard to gain their attention Also my philosophy watching these is probably different to most, I don't put too much importance on changing myself to attract other people because that is a bit inauthentic to me and defeats the point of low effort attraction. If you have to try and act a certain way to attract people is it really attraction? I think trying to please everybody socially and have a strong presence is a great way to disappoint and burn yourself out, not that social status doesn't matter and that you shouldn't try to improve, it's just that there is always someone who will ignore you simply because they are attracted to different traits or are preoccupied with their own lives. How much attention you get from others doesn't determine your value So yeah I don't really have a clear answer for you since I don't take it that seriously and prioritize other things, I acknowledge that might be disappointing. I just watch these for some passive learning, it's fun to learn about people :) Being too concerned with how you come across is a recipe for anxiety so I try to accept my natural traits first, even if they are unconventional or weird and then use more covert methods like these if I need to. Example: If you have naturally dreamy eyes and look around when you think or reply to someone, there's no need to force yourself to make strong eye contact with someone unless it's important or are listening to them. Forcing yourself to do something unnatural to you can sometimes spur growth, but it can also be needlessly tiring
@@Jaxan-dq2jy What you described, came as stoicism. Slow movements, proving for yourself not others, and focusing on your nature. It is not for everyone I concur.
@@caynereed8988 Yeah I guess so, I'm passively studying it in my spare time right now Things like : Intrinsic motivation over social status Desensitization of negative emotions to increase positive ones and mitigate negative ones I don't consider myself a "stoic" but I try to extract the insights that work for me while not obeying its rules too strongly. Every ideology has flaws and I think I'm better off borrowing pieces from others to create my own, although still flawed one At least for me philosophical pursuits are more valuable then conventional self improvement, since it helps you discover what you actually care about, who you are, and strategies to deal with life instead of some guru telling you what you need to do in order to be happy and get everything you want That just feeds hedontic adaptation (we get used to the things and experiences we have so things and experiences that make us happy wear off) and neglects individuality
Body language goes a long way. Things like: standing tall, taking up more space, not crossing your arms tightly, and making good eye contact. It's the difference between "he looks so awkward" and "he's the strong silent type."
These are known male traits. Just watch a man sit and a woman sit. A man sits to take up space, women cross things to appear smaller. Men: Spread legs, elbows out, more gesticulation Women: Crossed legs, crossed arms or wrists, angled away, often a more whispery voice. That’s why Marilyn Monroe did all those things.
@@Beatboxskill blackpill always collects. i started loling when he says at the end "being confident is easier than it seems" then shows a bunch of chad celebrities "standing tall" and looking "confident", then tries selling his program. standing tall only works if you are actually tall
@@jellebag YES! And at that i have seen so many tall people get respect by not even standing tall - they tower over us even when they are hunched over or stooping a bit ... it has a very strong psychological effect. Our parents are taller than us - we grew up on that ... it's worse than Pavlov's dogs.
The key, in my opinion, is not having fear. I don't mean having zero fear like the peaky blinders character, but however trying to overcome social fears, like the stress we feel when speaking to a random person on the street. We have to repeat a thousand times there's no danger. Once we have assumed we're not in danger, fear disappears
in psychopathology and one of its intervention to help many patients with phobia is "exposure therapy" and the concept is similar to what you said here, so it is based off of actual cognition research
Maybe he trained as an actor and learned various techniques to “act” that way. E.g. He acted, like a coward in Dunkirk. He's not a good actor because he”a a coward.
- Slow And Relax Men Movement - Strong Eye Contact - Not Reactive To Hostility - Be As Big As Your Audience - Show Conviction With Your Words - Show Conviction With Your Tone - Speak Slowly And Use Pauses - Use Carrot/Stick Motivation
I think the key is not to let emotion control your actions. He may seem quiet and unhurried, but you can tell his brain is going 250 mph. Being unemotional and confident is not just something you start doing one day. It takes a long time to get to that point.
Word my friend. I've been told multiple times that I'm quiet and calm, while my brain is not at all. I'm always shocked by people's perspective of me. If we could all be a part of some reality show, i guess we could see ourselves go and learn. But otherwise, idk what's going on lol
Exactly! Its the practice and time that turns you into a person such a Thomas. I honestly think majority of these channels tips are cool, but won't apply for your average person. Sure, you can maneuver and talk like Thomas all you want and it might even work, but the reason why he is the way he is, is because of the war. He went through some pretty intense stuff that no one will ever go through in their lives in the 21st century, unless exposed to it willingly. He is stone cold and moves the way he does because he experienced way worse during the war and he truly does not care anymore. I think a better advice for the viewers of this channel would be to actually go through tough situations like Shelby which will chisel your personality and develop your self esteem. You can only fake and emulate a character/model to a certain extent. Its way more efficient to emulate the tribulations these character go through even if it is to a lesser extent.
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
There's also a thing called Amazon...and it's not even there ! ( ..or any known site for that matter......) Stop promoting yourself...your friends..or obscure websites.
Thomas shelby was a world war 1 veteran in the series. He was a tunneler, a job which requires you to operate in the worst possible conditions. He was a gypsy who lived his childhood in poverty. And all of this hardships coupled with horrors of the war made tommy who he was. Merely imitating his reactions to certain situations won't make you a tough guy. You have live your life out of your comfort zone to transform your persona into that of someone like thomas shelby.
You don't need to experience horrible things to learn from someone who has, or from their actions and beliefs. This video isn't invalidated from this information, because it doesn't rely on this information heavily or directly. There's a bigger focus on the ends than the means.
These are things you do naturally when youre confident, these body language videos dont work because youre just imitating confidence. You cant lie to yourself about how you actually feel, people see straight through it
True af you either got it or you dont, not that it cant be developed eventually but its something that will happen naturally with the right combination of people place and time. Like Jim Carrey said, if you wear a mask around people expect to wear that mask to the grave.
@@whorem0anss personality, personal etc...from Greek persona= mAsk...I've eliminated this word from my vocabulary...just a previous comment, saying "strong personality "... not knowing what he's actually talking about...
I'm someone who is quiet but not unconfident. I clicked on this video and sure enough, these are all things I do or have picked up as I became an adult (almost scary how accurate). The thing is to really try to understand where each point is coming from and really "feel" it rather than just copying the motions. For me personally, some of these points like holding eye contact, are things I almost see as a challenge to myself- but that is only after I first saw the value in it.
This guy is an actor. He's not a ww1 vet in real life. He's imitating confidence, to the point people act like it's a real person. How is this obvious point being missed by so many people in these comments. Fake confidence long enough and well enough and it becomes the real thing.
There is a LOT of truth to the statement, "Fake it till you make it.". When I was a little kid, I was bullied relentlessly. Every day in school was hell. My mom, who used to be a military police officer, told me it was because I looked and acted like a victim. She told me basic things like walking with my head up, my shoulders back, walk slower, etc. Even though I had ZERO confidence, I did those things. Eventually I learned how to fight. I literally became more confident by faking having confidence. Eventually, other aspects of confidence evolved naturally. These are ALL great tips! The shoulders back and head up is, imo, the best place to start.
You forgot to mention that Tommy has breakdowns after some of these scenes, releasing great amounts of stress he felt during periods where he shows himself as being "calm". And he drinks a lot & smokes a lot until the last season.
I had a lot of problems holding eye contact with people. What really helped me was the "choosing an eye" thing. It also automatically made me feel more confident because I knew my eyes were completely locked on the person. It was a whole different energy.
just a tip, naturally people's eyes switch over to look at the other one from time to time, so instead of looking at one switch it up, it'll make you seem like you're not staring/uncomfortable
Whilst studying at college I had a part time job in a store where the manager ruled by intimidation. Everyone was afraid of him - including my naïve immature self. During the time I was there I developed a stutter and the inability to look people in the eye. After I left it took me a few years of maturing to shake that experience off. Thanks Gerald. I learned a valuable life lesson though - respect others, and if you see someone who appears to be nervous around you give them a warming smile and engage with them in nice brief conversation if you can (added humor is a big plus!). You'll be surprised how much of a positive effect this has on a person's confidence.
I found while making eye contact...alternately blinking each eye has a striking effect...don't exactly kno what...but who your doing it too smiles, and gets all tough tied...ahaha.
With the eye contact thing, I found it a bit intense to stare into both eyes, so I would focus on the "opponent's" one eye, then, a few seconds later, shift the focus on the other eye. It sounds weird, but it seems to be very disquieting, in my favour fortunately 😂
"The nearer man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength. " - Marcus Aurelius. Confidence comes from within the person. All these body movements just naturally comes when you are in that mode
Can't agree more. I am someone with Social Anxiety but Sometimes(very rarely) I feel fuckin calm mentally in social situations That's when I feel I'm the most Confident among the people around me.
The thing is, it's not about behaviours, it;s about what is behind those behaviours. When you feel confident, the eye contact, the slow movement comes naturally, it is not something you plan or remember to do, you just feel that way. Feeling confident and calm is much more complex than looking someone in the eyes
Facts, as a quiet, introverted, somewhat shy but now very confident and self assured person, I now naturally do this. But I've put myself out there enough and tolerated disrespect enough to demand respect from others and nothing less. I don't tolerate any disrespect. And so when I carry myself, that natural translates through. People ALWAYS think I'm an extrovert when it comes to the conversation about personality types even though I speak the least in a group.
You know it's bad when you try to make eye contact but can't do it for a long time not because of lacking confident, but because of eye soring and tears coming out automatically 😭
Good video, but there's nothing specific here. I recommend everyone to find the forbidden book Mareska Manipulation; you'll be shocked by the attraction techniques it contain about manipulation.
As an introvert person who lacks lot of confidence and always feel in a rush againt time available, I have great respect for those kind of personalities and that is also what I would like to build more as a person. That is very insightful, thanks.
Being introvert doesn't exclude you from being confident. I'm an introvert myself and just the realisation that a lot of extraverts deal with the same problems and feelings I do but express themself differently helped me a lot. It was liberating that with the years I learned to just don't give a F what people think of me and that helped me express my opinions or defend my borders even though I knew some would not like me for it. The fact I don't care what the majority of people think of me gives me confidence because I don't have to pull punches if I need to stand up for myself, my beliefs, my well being, my interests or the people I care about.
I've tried the first tips (move slowly and relaxed) and "unintentionally" did it in front of my mother. She told me to do dishes when I was just arrived from gas station. I slowly stop at the terrace, gaze straight to her eyes. Then nodding Her reaction was: "Please don't do that again. Some people may feel intimidated and beat you later." Conclusion, the tips was definitely legit.
Your insights provide a roadmap for introverts and those who prefer a quieter demeanor to navigate social situations with grace and authenticity. I appreciate the wisdom you've shared and believe it will empower many to embrace their unique strengths. Well done
My mom is an introvert and my late Dad was an extrovert. I'm an introvert that also learned how to be an extrovert when the need arises but prefer my introverted nature
There's something else that is important that was ommitted. Whenever somebody does interrupt Tommy with a question, whether he's speaking or giving a proposal, he simply ignores it and continues onward with what he was saying. That speaks volumes without actually having to say anything extra.
One way to instantly command/get back respect is by always telling the truth, even if it hurts. But then learning to say it in a way that doesn't offend or make the other person feel more bad than they need to. You can start by writing a list of things you have been lying about to yourself and others.
I feel like a lot of people have the misconception that telling the truth necessarily has to hurt/offend the other person, when that just doesn't have to be the case.
@@WanderTheNomad People often think that honesty means letting loose of emotions and being savage for savagery's sake. One classic example is how politicians and dictators who speak obvious lies and stupidities are considered by many as 'straight-forward' and brutally honest.
Agreed, it's uncomfortable at first, but also being able to develop calm is the key. I used to have a boss who always left uncomfortable silences. I just sat there waiting for her to fill them. She soon realised I wasn't ready to play her games and that my time was best used at doing my job and not in a personal development review.
This video is exactly what I needed to start my day on a positive note. It's a reminder that success comes to those who work hard and never give up. Thank you for this motivation!
In summary for the average clumsy introvert: 1. Make reasonably long eye contact. Give a little nod if you wanna be not rude. Smile on command if you know how. 2. Move slowly and orderly. Erratic movement, confused hands and excessive head turning will ruin the Shelby vibe. 3. Think before you speak so you can choose the right words and CUT OUT unnecessary things. Talk slowly too.
My personal experience with being able to speak in front of an audience is to be prepared and to have confidence in what it is you will be communicating. I found that I would almost zone out as I was lecturing as if everything else sort of vanished and I was in my own dimension delivering the message I had prepared ahead of time.
I hate speaking in front of an audience. One strategy that sort of helps and I need to keep reminding myself is I have information the audience wants. If not they wouldn't be there. I know more, I can supply the details and the audience is there to receive that info. It's still not 2nd nature. I gotta pump myself up. still hate it
For point 2, if there's a threat of violence, don't look to the side! Looking downward toward the body, if done purposefully instead of evasively is both tactically and psychologically sound. It's easier to keep a cool head, and by looking for their actions instead of words, it's unnerving for them to continue talking. People think of what they see other people looking at, so instead of reflecting back their own emotion through eyes, they start thinking of the vulnerability of their own body. "You're prepared to hurt my body. Do I really want to go there?" instead of "You feel that way about me! How do I feel about you?" I never did it for psychology, just how I learned to fight. But it's had good de-escalatory effect the times I've done it, which made me think.
@@fondawilliam8371 I love The Art of Self-defense, where they ride up on the motorcycle and ask the potential victim if they have a gun before using karate to mug him. It's seems ridiculous, but on the other hand, most people don't know how to respond when put on the spot like that. Most people carrying a weapon of any kind would impulsively move their eyes or hand in that direction. Most people not carrying would give it away. Either way, it improves the odds of singling out a helpless victim.
Don't make me laugh. I suppose u r some lame black belt karate 🤓. Don't talk to me till you've actually shot someone, or disarmed somebody with a gun who is bigger than u.
As an introvert but calm person, this is perfect. I’m looking forward to what effect I’ll have around people once I start using these tricks for now on. Just wanna show the world my confidence.
Most important lesson of all: Do it for yourself, never do it for being cool to be with!!! It sounds weird, but when you only do it to impress others, you will give them the power over you. You are doing it for them, therefore they are the ones indirectly controlling you, as your main goal is to impress them. Why is that a problem? If you give them all the power, then the power you show using these tips will be «fake», because it will only be something you do to get respect from the ones in power. So you fake being the boss to impress everyone else, and that makes you the weakest, because you must bend to whatever they want from you. You will be more nervous when you give everyone else this power over you. So do it for yourself. That will give you all the power.
Be done _before_ you're tired. Work smart, not hard. Or hire someone else to do the work for you. See how your well-intentioned 'advice' is just a platitude? Common, be better than a hallmark card.
@@BlaBla-jj6sh just like ‘work smart not hard’ is a platitude. none of it is this deep, and your advice is so general it borders on meaningless. very ironic that you mocked the other commenter for being unoriginal by responding with clichés
heh, I took psych in HighSchool. My teacher was great, one of my favorites, Mr. Murphy. Great understanding man. heres a good one. ~ when asking for something, give yourself time. Days if possible. When talking to your "target" one on one, try shifting your wieght. Maybe lean on a wall. Or lean back. If the person mimics your movement, they are in agreement with you. It is at this time you ask your question. If the person does not, go ahead and wait for another chance. I've used this to get dates, promotions and general life.
While i think Tommy Shelby is an fascinating and cool character, i also think it is important to differentiate fiction from reality. In Peaky Blinders he knows his place and does things that somehow work wonders and miracles. This character has a fictional history and his nature is more than likely purely based on what the creators of the show wanted it to be, so it can be captivating. Who in his right mind would behave like him and get away with it? Everything is pre determined in the show. You're NEVER gonna be either one. You is the only real thing. Not the character Cillian Murphy portrays. Realistically, If you were put under the pressure Tommy has faced, you'd be dead before you realized it. It's like doing an analysis on Scarface. Sure it's fun, interesting and fascinating but not close to the reality of OUR world. This is just my humble opinion. Don't compare yourself to none other than you. However, is this a cool analysis of Thomas? Absolutely.
This comment quite true. I almost imitated thomas shelby behaviour into mine. But instantly I regret, because in the show, they do as script wants to or what the shows want to. What we need is just to know what we weak of, then cover it with what we strong of or even built it.
@@iulianbendrea9010 I don't mind drawing inspiration from fictional characters, as long as you are still you... However pretending to be them or act like them is another thing. Trying to act like something you aren't is not the authentic or real you. Unless you're a professional actor.
@@syahrizaindrautomo44 Creating good and healthy habits is one step in the right direction. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday and improve upon it, just don't take it too far. Like everything else; practice moderation, healthy and good habits.
Main thing that lifts you up is acting and feeling on top of the people you talk to even tho ur obviously not. It might seem a bit toxic but people will start to respect you more
I Met Mrs Cathie Wood last 2021 for the first time at a conference meeting, where she greeted a friend of mine also a member, and fortunately for me, we exchanged contact and got along. What God cannot do, doesn't exist" I truly believe this word 100 percent❤❤❤
People fixate on 'confidence-confidence-confidence'. It is the eventual outcome of good traits aggregating. Form and keep your inner peace. That is the first step. The other is discipline. Confidence is cross product of the two, nothing more. It's like trying to make pancakes without having any idea what are heat, grease, flour, milk and eggs for.
Self accountability (Accepting who you are, flawed, owning it and in spite of that, be responsible for yourself), is self validation, a precursor to confidence. Everything falls in place after that; Your walk, your talk and how you react, because you pander to nobody. If you can't hold yourself accountable, you are either a liar or a coward, or both.
I'm a woman who is more introverted/ quiet and have done some of these when I was more confident in myself. However, I didn't know it was a strength and a way to command respect. It really does help to not let your emotions control you, to only speak when necessary, and to have good posture/body language. This was very informative 😊
i think the most important thing is not the way we act, but more to the way we think, knowing our way in and out in variety of situation, got every everything mapped out that drives our motoric system to perform the coolness of tommy shelby.
David Wright from Survivor would be a great example of someone who had the worst confidence and by the end of his season was one of the most confident people in the room. I hope you guys can cover him because he would be a great example of someone who built that internal confidence by taking risks and understanding the world around him was less scary than he thought. Keep up the good work!
Whenever I’ve had a job interview, internal review, presentation or anything that requires me to be more than me; I imagine I’m talking to my sister. I’m fully aware that the person/people isn’t my sister, so I need to keep professional, but as the only person I’ve every felt 100% confident of just being my self is when I’m around my lil sis; this technique has helped me immensely. People are nuanced. We are flawed. We are insecure. We are all beautifully different. We just need to find and remember that one person that we can be comfortable around, and use that feeling to remember that we don’t have to be something special; you just need to be YOU. These “self-help” or whatever they call these videos are generalised and full of tropes. I mean, if it was this easy then every one would be confident… right? Lol
I know Conan has been a topic before, but can you guys commit a full video just to his personality? I feel like he's so charismatic and lovable he just stands out like crazy, I'd love to hear your guys' take
Often, you can identify the dominant person in a group by the fact their movements are less, slower and more deliberate and they can be the ones with the least to say or prove.
copying someone behaviour will never last long the most important thing in life is to be yourself and not depend on what people think of you, people don't respect themselves
Problem with showing conviction like this is that most people can't back it up, causing you to lose credibility. One of my study mates is SO certain of EVERYTHING, yet he's wrong 80% of the time. I'm uncertain of everything, because I'm aware that anyone can make mistakes and have misunderstood something, yet I'm right 90% of the time. But being right most of the time, doesn't change the fact that I can still be wrong and even being wrong 10% of the time with absolute conviction would be worse than being right 90% of the time while not coming across as 100% sure. Because I'm not, no one is. Note: My study mate's conviction and confidence definitely helps him come across as smart with people that doesn't know him, and even helps him in exams, yet anyone that actually knows him take everything he says with a HUGE grain of salt, because he says things with such a certainty even when he's not sure at all. Maybe he thinks he is, but he shouldn't be.
@@k01dsv if we were unsure/not confident about everything, nothing would get done due to undeciveness, fear, etc..Mistakes will happen. Failure comes before success
Key part in the section about pausing in the middle of a sentence, he doesn't use filler words. He's incredibly quick witted and either already knows what he's going to say or uses the pauses to give the impression he does while planning his next move/point of speech
Interesting breakdown as always! I have a hard time talking slow and pausing at certain points in conversation because I've gotten used to being interrupted and cut off.
Wow, how honest !! I have a Sister, she's a school teacher. Family get together,,,me, I would talk about something and half way through,,"eh I tend to disagree" whither she's right or wrong. THEN, everybody has to shut up while SHE speaks and whoa betide anyone that interrupts her!!! So i know exactly where your coming from !!😊
as confident as i am, i have a tendency to speak fast as well which sometimes results in people being distracted and interrupt me. it feels like good advice to speak slightly slower and a more confident tone and see what happens. how has it worked out for you in the past 8 months?
@@Bonbloc I haven't really noticed being cut off in conversation, but I have yet to break my bad habit of speaking too quickly or paraphrasing while telling a joke or funny story because I'm worried someone will cut me off and break my rhythm, or just switch topics so I don't get to finish
When you're cut off, hang your last word, stop talking, look them in the eye for 1 second longer than necessary, and 90% of the time, a person will apologize for cutting you off, and go out of their way to not do it again. You're showing them that you don't approve of them speaking over you, but you give respect by stopping what you're saying. It's true that to get respect, you must give it. When you give respect, and are disrespected in the same situation, people feel the need to either apologize, or make it up to that person.
@@crazierthorn10 that only works with 1 on 1 conversations. but in group convo's they just look at something/someone else so you cant maintain eyecontact
I tried training myself a different body language for I while but I stopped because it stressed me out. I'm not a loud speaker and I hate groups where the loudest and most dominant people get to talk the most. I know that I have a lot smart stuff to speak about, but if people prefer nonsense blabla it's their bad. If I don't feel respected and heard I am quiet and that's alright. Gladly there a people who are different and know the basics of respectful and calm conversation with whom I open up and can also talk and talk. Slowly movements, keeping eye contact, that costs so much energy.
I think this video is really effective, although I think it’s important to break down why we do the things we already do (body language). We can’t do without knowing why we feel the need to do.
скорее всего, это заложено природой, когда были инстинкты, чтоб нравиться противоположному полу и показывать другим так сказать "сородичам", что мы испытываем
I learned a similar thing from teaching children. They lack long attention spans, so making use of pause, speech speed and rhythm really pulled them in and maintained a longer attention span. This showed me that the way to not only garner respect, but to be compelling in speech is by controlling nonverbal additions to communication to add layers to your "credibility". "An expert guitar player can transform a boring piece of music by altering expression, tempo, dynamics and style. He plays with non values". Find the "non values", master them.
Showing conviction with your tone. You should only do that if you are sure about what you want. AND you should only do that if you are ready to stand for and argue what you want, if someone else has a different opinion or want something else. It’s not like ending your sentences with that low tone, that everybody will agree with you instantly. It creates conflict most of the time. You should definitely end your sentences in a high pitched tone, like you do with a question, when you are „okay“ with other opinions, to show that other people can freely add their input and you will listen. Sounding unsure isn’t bad all the time, If someone makes a worse proposal, you can still argue that yours is better afterwards. In my opinion you should only sound sure about your words if you are 100% sure that you are right and you are ready to fight everyone else. Otherwise you will fall flat on your face. That happens. You can not tell people that everyone should behave like a boss. Because if everyone is a boss, there will be no one left working for the boss. And if you have no one working for you, who’s boss are you really? Yes make your opinion clear, but don’t do it in a way that others thing theirs is worthless. The world need great followers more then great bosses.
I would love a more in-depth guide on eye contact. Maybe it’ll only be 3 minutes long, but something that includes: how long to hold eye contact depending on interaction, casual, talking with a boss/teacher, when meeting someone for the first time, and when just walking past someone. Where to look away and if you should quickly look back into their eyes and hoe long to look away etc.
Honestly me personally I’m terrible at eye contact when I don’t really have much to say, simply uninterested or uncomfortable but going out more socializing helps a lot. I work in SoHo in a clothing store and honestly I’ve improved so much on eye contact and interacting w people and getting out that nervous habit. I also noticed when I get high my eye contact and social skills are terrible
You cannot and should not determine eye contact based on some random metric. It's all situational. You have to develop the quality to be able to understand and feel it out Comes with awareness practice. Never comes without it.
Everything they try to teach you in this is already in you. I learned the hard way but what I realized was that. Everything you need is already in you here's my 3 things that will help you immensely.1deal with. Childhood trauma's it's hard and uncomfortable but necessary, 2 be aware that you only get one family, learn to live in gratitude and finally stop caring what others think otherwise your living your life for others...xxxx
I agree with you on almost everything, but it also depends on the appearance. He has this special calm, but also charismatic mysterious look when he looks you in the eye which not all people have., which is one of the reasons why he behaves calmly and composed in an almost escalating situation. It depends on how you look on the outside without wanting to offend anyone, it has to be a good looking man like he is, and not to forget, the voice needs to be that deep like his voice, and that is interesting to listen to. All of these aspects together bring the effect that you are describing here very good.
Yes, he shows examples where he's staring at someone and that person is staring right back, but Tommy appears more intense and confident than the other person doing the same thing. Why? Because it's not the action itself.
having eye contact does not mean escalation, it may avoid the same. The person in front may want to assault you and is just looking for a moment when you is off guard to go for it. But looking right back at your aggressor would mean the person in front can't catch you off guard.
Personally eye contact is awkward and pointless to me, the only person that would have my eye contact, would be for example my wife. Eye contact is pretty intimate if you ask me, guys looking into another guys eyes, seems like a waste, if one can listen and continue engaging in work or recriational activity simultaneously. You would stop and give your spouse all of your attention so much so you look into their eyes and focus, stopping anything else that's currently happening. I hope this perspective helps.
@@Notyourhandle777 You look into someone's eyes to share and receive information. I look into the eye of a man I am about to tangle with, to see what he will do.
But tbf i think Tommys absence of fearing death adds on to his confidence and ability to appear calm in serious situations as the reality of things, Tommy is very incapable of controlling his life (well ig someone who hasn't watched the show would be able to understand your perspective better)but besides the point, his charisma is undoubtedly impressive
This right here, this is the real reason of his behaviour, since the beggining of the show this is his philosophy of life, he died in the war with his team, now everything after that it's extra, you can never lose from that viewpoint.
@@whiskyghost Yeah, Tommy after the war is arguably "testing the game of life", and only lives to see how big his empire can really become, after all he's already welcomed death into his realm and isn't afraid to die.
A personal tip for introverts: Talk and act like if you were so tired, kinda angry, angsty and done with life. I bet even "powerful" people of your environment will respect you, and trust in you. Walk fast, talk loud but slow, work hard and stay humble👑🔥
I never watched this show, i would say you can’t hide who you are, you can change things around you, but if you’re truly a great person don’t change, it a matter of time those things will eventually came back, when you meet someone unfortunately like my self i can see those in a blink of a eye, my dad was just like this guy on this carácter I wish i was lying, i never wanted to be like him, but at the end i admire everything he was, because he was a piece of me, and that piece is what’s left of what I always should i been from the beginning.
Basically all of these points originate from a source of confidence, and confidence is absolutely essential to attaining a charismatic and respected stance. Even if you're not actually confident, just act so and people will respect you. E.g. If you awkwardly make eye contact with a stranger, don't break away because you feel you're being weird, maintain it briefly, not for long, but long enough that they know that you're not afraid to show that you're comfortable in social situations and when making eye contact.
3:55 On the thing with upwards inflections, it's really important to point out that certain accents, especially accents found in the UK, quite often use upwards inflections at the end of sentences, e.g. the Liverpudlian accent or the Glaswegian accent, and actually, even the West Midlands/"Black Country" accent that Tommy is supposed to have has upwards inflections at the end of sentences, but these accents don't imply that the speaker is unsure at all. I can imagine a lot of Americans being confused by this lol although I think the "Vally Girl" accent found in LA is similar, think the Kardashians lol.
And The Valley girl accent doesn’t make you appear very confident and competent, does it? Just because the accent is like this, doesn’t mean it loses its inherent effect on people. Especially those who are not used to it. In Germany most accents make you appear less competent than standard high German. Even though it may sound normal to those who are used to the accent.
@@SmokingBirds I'm not sure if you're agreeing or not but yes, that's what I was saying. It would be a mistake to read into certain accents in this way.
LIMEY REDCOAT. I WANT TO SEE U BLEED. STOP WITH THE SUPERFICIAL NONSENSE. THAT HAS NO TRUTH TO IT AT ALL. AS SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ENGLISH WELSH STEPFATHER WHO IVE KNOWN SINCE 1996, I CAN VEHEMENTLY SAY IT IS STRICTLY A PERSONALITY TRAIT AND THE WORLD ROUND TALKING IN A HIGH -PITCHED VOICE IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS OR VULNERABILITY. ONCE AGAIN DO U WANT 2 BELIEVE SOME SO- CALLED EXPERT, OR SOMEONE WITH EXPERIENCE?
Absolutely agree! Tommy Shelby's character in *Peaky Blinders* really exemplifies a unique blend of charisma and calmness. His slow, relaxed movements and steady eye contact, especially in tense situations, really do command attention and respect. I’ve noticed that practicing these habits can significantly change how people perceive you. For instance, I started focusing on my tone and using pauses, which helped me convey confidence and conviction in conversations. Plus, incorporating humor into those pauses, as I learned in the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x, made my interactions more engaging. It’s all about finding that balance! Keep honing these skills; they can truly transform your presence!
The way Hidden Time Wealth dives into the concept of productivity is mind-blowing. Hidden Time Wealth tips are pure gold, and I wish more people knew about them.
There's definitely something to be said about a confident stare. A couple years ago, I was walking into the drugstore and this man comes up right behind me. He's walking right behind me, right on my heels, with his body kind of 'spooning' me like trying to separate me from the rest of the store, and he tells me he's following me, compliments me on my looks, asks if I have a boyfriend, if my boyfriend will beat him up if he talks to me, that kind of jazz. I continue to make my way to my coveted TP, humoring him to a few 'hmm!..' and 'you don't say!..' along the way. I make it to TP island, and by then I've about had enough of his smothering, so I don't know what his question is in that moment, but I just turn my head to him, stare for a second, exhale loudly...... And I think I was going to tell him something along the lines of 'look, good sir, can a gal collect her monthly supply of TP without becoming a target to a pimp?..' The thing is, instead what happened is I blinked at that point, and between me closing my eyes and re-opening them, the dude had gone from standing right next to me to being a few yards away making a quick exit to the back door. I was left almost disappointed of having been robbed of my snarky remark...
A lot of things comes into play regarding your situation ofcourse I am glad you made it out and yup confidence triggered him to fled away, i mean intially he might have thought that he's the one who's following you but after that glare i mean after travelling quite a distance to the place where you gave that glare , he might have thought that you are the one who's leading to your turf and touch me if you can vibe in my turf kinda thing
@@RAJUBHAI-ww7em Sorry for my late reply. I think the bottom line is that a would-be predator stops being one the second the 'victim' refuses to play that role... It takes 2 to tango, as the saying goes... ;)
I'm just going to put this out there, because I really like the advice given here and have discovered a lot of it on my own working with people, in sales, legal hearings, business dealings, and other tough situations. The carrot stick example for the raise is going to work because you're basically not negotiating. You are asking somebody how much they want in return for something they give you and then you're just doing it. That's like telling somebody to go up to a house that's for sale, asking them how much money they want to sell it, and then give that much money to them. Of course it's going to work, the real problem is when you are simply being underpaid. You want more money in return for doing exactly what you're already doing because what you're doing is worth more than what you are being compensated, or you simply need more money to live. THATS tough. "Hey boss, what do I need to do to earn $20,000/year more?" "Ruin your life. Change this job into something different than it is now, where you do 60% more work for 20% more money." "GIMME THREE MONTHS FAM"
I would say, that just the stick part is very effective(finding a different opportunity and going with it to the current employer). It's a WIN/WIN. Either they keep you your position with a raise, and get a knowledge that your current job cares about you as a valuable worker, or get the info that they don't and go for a better offer.
This one video helped me in more ways than I can express. Helped my confidence, family dynamics, social anxiety, view of myself, my world, and my relationships. These videos should always be taken with a grain of salt, but thank you. Thank you!
I think having a square jaw, awesome cheekbones and piercing blue eyes helps the "confidence without speaking" thing immensely. If Michael Cera made the same face, no one would care.
in real life even a Michael Sera kind of guy could come up as charismatic and confident. The actor is good looking, like almost every actor. But most people on earth are Michael Seras. So don´t compare yourself to model type of person. You could never live up to that, neither do I and neither does other people.
Let's not forget he is a Professional Actor, you're either high or drunk, and you just watched an ad trying to get you to buy into something you can do on your own.
Confidence doesn't come at the push of a button it takes time and plenty of patience. Its trial by error you will learn and grow with yourself being comfortable in your own shoes not someone else's. No need to have to pay for charisma and confidence. Experience it yourself over time. It must be your own choice as well naturally.
exactly, it comes with putting yourself in difficult situations and getting that experience. Its impossible to have confidence with no experience in my opinion, that's just arrogance.
i had to build that up from the very bottom and it was so hard , especially when people would take advantage of your kindness & golden heart and shattering to pieces and setting it ablaze without even looking back . now i'm slowly learning to not let people walk all over me like a doormat, to net let people take advantage of me , to not let anyone ever hurt me like that again or anything . i will command respect and be silent and give it in return to those who give it in return and to those who deserve .
Bottom line, Tommy was calm in those situations because he secretly thought he deserved to die and the thought of death brought with it a release from everything he carried and was therefore not to be feared but welcomed. I think that character was well accustomed to waking up thinking, this day - this moment - could be my last on earth, so I'll focus on what I must do before my time is up. That might be the best lesson we learn from Thomas Shelby.
not true. i do not have a good background, nor have i really explained to anyone. i was just a normal person, but after many things that happened that could have easily killed me, i became a lot more calm in scenarios people usually wouldnt. i know im going to die one day, and i most likely do not know that day, so why spend it unwisely.
@@justsomeguymustache there is lots of sigma males in the world bro if there you need to prove yourself bro The people's always respect a gangster instead of solo person
@@Godhimself-d3x its not necessary LOL, and by the way, i never said i was anything but a normal person, who doesnt talk a lot, but gets respect from those around me. you talk like a child.
I feel like these tricks really work coz once in my class my teacher was asking everyone if they have done their notes my sir was only willing to check some students if they have done their homework but ask the question to everyone so I did what I had to do I was sitting there looking at my teacher with a confidential eye like I'm willing to stand and show my homework as soon as my teacher call my name even though I didn't even do my homework that day and you know what's the best part my sir never asked me if I have finished my homework or not.
One of my favourite scenes in PB (and one missing from this video) was where the horse he's walking with rears up at some loud noise coming from a factory nearby. He calms the horse and whispers in its ear "It's only noise, it's only noise". And with that insight you look around at most of what people say as noise, nothing to be troubled by, most of it nonsense. Stay calm and think.
2:40 honestly there is something calming from having a gun pressed against your head, I don't know if it is the finality of it, the certainty that there is no "if only I had done this!" moment later on or what, but I have never being as calm as for the brief moment I had a 9mm pointed, point blank, against my forehead, and I'm usually an anxious person.
Hidden Time Wealth is so unique. I can’t believe I hadn’t heard about it sooner. It’s amazing how life-changing this can be for anyone battling procrastination.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
That laid back attitude is what pulls ya in.
I have also noticed he is a man of few words. No cracking jokes, no extra fluffy words. Every thing he says is on point.
Only Talking when its necessary is a great way to put more weight on your words!
Law of power 4: Always say less than necessary
@@noureldin0077 48 law of power 🤟🤟😎
A fish with it's mouth open always gets caught.
Truth man
@@invictus4807 everyone else is either agreeing or adding to OP's comment, you're the one who's being insecure, if that's called being beta. Sounds like self projecting, buddy.
These are some incredibly effective ways to instantly command respect from people:
- Be vocal about your flaws
- Compliment people around you
- Hold your ground
- Keep your word
- Improve your body language
@Introverted Alpha - Dating Support for Men You're welcome!
vocalizing your flaws is a very good way in being confident because it shows that you are comfortable with the flaws you have. good list btw :)
@Introverted Alpha - Dating Support for Men No B
Thank you for the advice!
Except be vocal about your flaws.
Instead know your "flaws and limitations" and keep them hidden well. Never be vocal of such things for people to possibly use as power over you.
Tommy had something most people don't. He had no fear of death as he had faced it many times during the war. He, basically, had nothing to lose as he felt he was living on borrowed time anyway. Combine that lack of fear with an analytical mind and you have a very strong personality indeed.
Everyone is afraid of death.
@Samson 92 in some way every being is. So dont lie.
@Samson 92 do you think you are edgy now for stating that you dont fear of death and claiming you have depression? the real guys out there that have real depression wont go around in yt vid comments and "flexing" with their mental problems, because they are actually ashamed of it, because they actually have that and they really dont want to have it, they try to chage for good, and especially, because of their lack of desire for life, they wont even probably have the energy to turn on their phone or computer, not like you who running around flexing with a serious mental problem. you probably just plain miserable, father went away ur mom prob cant do any motivation and u stuck at ur screen with waay too much time in ur miserable life, go out touch some grass, and stop falsely claiming a serious mental problem, cause within some time no ones gonna believe to an even chronically depressed guy because idots like you set this attention seeking a trend. ppl like you legit make me wanna throw up
@@tomystark5606 Fear of death is irrational, because you will never experiance it, you will never experiance anything other than being alive, you won't know you're dead.
You can fear the process of dying, that can involve pain and suffering, you can fear being forgotten or forgetting everything, you can fear the expanse of eternity.
Personally I actually fear at some point during that eternity, becoming aware of it, and having to experiance eternity. I would prefer if the end was truly the end, which is why I'm not religious.
But death itself is nothing to fear, for it is nothing itself.
guy said it himself, only tommy shelby can kill tommy shelby
There's a book called Casanova Optimization of Attraction, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts. it's the real deal...
❤❤
As an introverted person, I’ve learned that the very first point he made about having slow movements is true. Before, I used to rush to do things, making it clear that I was always in a hurry. I started to be meticulous about everything, and people who I later befriended said I seemed confident. It works lol
It can go both ways
Having no hesitation and quick movement makes you seem devoted
Having slow movement makes you seem methodical
I'll try to do the slow movement thing more and see what happens
I think it's important for energy preservation, introspection, and presence
@@Jaxan-dq2jy how did it go man?
@@enricoleon_3302 Oh I didn't explicitly test anything too much since my social calendar isn't the fullest right now. I've been in a more introspective period recently
When I walk slowly it forces me to be more patient and reflect more often and I don't really notice any social change, I think it comes across as intimidating sometimes though, at least that's what someone told me last year (i move slowly naturally, this was before i was aware of it and tried to move slower intentionally). I am also unsure how much people respect me since that is not really something you can gauge unless you ask, but I don't often feel disrespected so maybe it plays a part in that, but I often let people talk over me since I don't like interrupting them so maybe that's a form of disrespect if you think about it? I don't like being in people's faces and trying too hard to gain their attention
Also my philosophy watching these is probably different to most, I don't put too much importance on changing myself to attract other people because that is a bit inauthentic to me and defeats the point of low effort attraction. If you have to try and act a certain way to attract people is it really attraction? I think trying to please everybody socially and have a strong presence is a great way to disappoint and burn yourself out, not that social status doesn't matter and that you shouldn't try to improve, it's just that there is always someone who will ignore you simply because they are attracted to different traits or are preoccupied with their own lives. How much attention you get from others doesn't determine your value
So yeah I don't really have a clear answer for you since I don't take it that seriously and prioritize other things, I acknowledge that might be disappointing. I just watch these for some passive learning, it's fun to learn about people :) Being too concerned with how you come across is a recipe for anxiety so I try to accept my natural traits first, even if they are unconventional or weird and then use more covert methods like these if I need to. Example: If you have naturally dreamy eyes and look around when you think or reply to someone, there's no need to force yourself to make strong eye contact with someone unless it's important or are listening to them. Forcing yourself to do something unnatural to you can sometimes spur growth, but it can also be needlessly tiring
@@Jaxan-dq2jy What you described, came as stoicism. Slow movements, proving for yourself not others, and focusing on your nature. It is not for everyone I concur.
@@caynereed8988 Yeah I guess so, I'm passively studying it in my spare time right now
Things like :
Intrinsic motivation over social status
Desensitization of negative emotions to increase positive ones and mitigate negative ones
I don't consider myself a "stoic" but I try to extract the insights that work for me while not obeying its rules too strongly. Every ideology has flaws and I think I'm better off borrowing pieces from others to create my own, although still flawed one
At least for me philosophical pursuits are more valuable then conventional self improvement, since it helps you discover what you actually care about, who you are, and strategies to deal with life instead of some guru telling you what you need to do in order to be happy and get everything you want
That just feeds hedontic adaptation (we get used to the things and experiences we have so things and experiences that make us happy wear off) and neglects individuality
Body language goes a long way. Things like: standing tall, taking up more space, not crossing your arms tightly, and making good eye contact. It's the difference between "he looks so awkward" and "he's the strong silent type."
Being attractive and having status is the difference
These are known male traits.
Just watch a man sit and a woman sit.
A man sits to take up space, women cross things to appear smaller.
Men:
Spread legs, elbows out, more gesticulation
Women:
Crossed legs, crossed arms or wrists, angled away, often a more whispery voice.
That’s why Marilyn Monroe did all those things.
@@Beatboxskill blackpill always collects. i started loling when he says at the end "being confident is easier than it seems" then shows a bunch of chad celebrities "standing tall" and looking "confident", then tries selling his program. standing tall only works if you are actually tall
Attractiveness looks different for different people.
@@jellebag YES! And at that i have seen so many tall people get respect by not even standing tall - they tower over us even when they are hunched over or stooping a bit ... it has a very strong psychological effect. Our parents are taller than us - we grew up on that ... it's worse than Pavlov's dogs.
The key, in my opinion, is not having fear. I don't mean having zero fear like the peaky blinders character, but however trying to overcome social fears, like the stress we feel when speaking to a random person on the street. We have to repeat a thousand times there's no danger. Once we have assumed we're not in danger, fear disappears
Yea, until you cross paths with the wrong person and knocked out, then you'll fear, for the rest of your life, d!psh*t
Still recovering from the stab in the dark alley, but I think this guy has a point.
True, but try to say it positive, a sentence without „no“ is stronger. Like “I’m brave and strong“
in psychopathology and one of its intervention to help many patients with phobia is "exposure therapy" and the concept is similar to what you said here, so it is based off of actual cognition research
Movie name?
The techniques I learned from shirlest about hidden money manifestation really pushed me to take action.
thanks
best ebook for sure
thank you
it helped me change my life also
thank you
Yeah, Cillian Murphy is always charismatic, because he’s a great actor.
Scarecrow
He's a good actor, because he's charismatic.
@@dmytoe5679 goes hand in hand 👌
Maybe he trained as an actor and learned various techniques to “act” that way. E.g. He acted, like a coward in Dunkirk. He's not a good actor because he”a a coward.
That’s your excuse huh?
Dude absolutely played his character to perfection. Exactly like someone who’s been through a lot
yes, they chose the right actors
couldn't agree more
It will forever be his masterpiece, the show show had the best casting I've seen in a show.
- Slow And Relax Men Movement
- Strong Eye Contact
- Not Reactive To Hostility
- Be As Big As Your Audience
- Show Conviction With Your Words
- Show Conviction With Your Tone
- Speak Slowly And Use Pauses
- Use Carrot/Stick Motivation
Basically just acting like the quite kid
autism
I have some of them already should improve in others
@@Akash-jn6fp do you realize people arent 'good' at these because they practiced it its because they lived life and got traumatized
@@mrjacko2972 I don't think of it as having strong eye contact. I think of it as not having weak eye contact.
I think the key is not to let emotion control your actions. He may seem quiet and unhurried, but you can tell his brain is going 250 mph. Being unemotional and confident is not just something you start doing one day. It takes a long time to get to that point.
Exactly.....take this to 5000 Comment asap😂😊
Word my friend. I've been told multiple times that I'm quiet and calm, while my brain is not at all. I'm always shocked by people's perspective of me. If we could all be a part of some reality show, i guess we could see ourselves go and learn. But otherwise, idk what's going on lol
Exactly! Its the practice and time that turns you into a person such a Thomas. I honestly think majority of these channels tips are cool, but won't apply for your average person. Sure, you can maneuver and talk like Thomas all you want and it might even work, but the reason why he is the way he is, is because of the war. He went through some pretty intense stuff that no one will ever go through in their lives in the 21st century, unless exposed to it willingly.
He is stone cold and moves the way he does because he experienced way worse during the war and he truly does not care anymore. I think a better advice for the viewers of this channel would be to actually go through tough situations like Shelby which will chisel your personality and develop your self esteem. You can only fake and emulate a character/model to a certain extent. Its way more efficient to emulate the tribulations these character go through even if it is to a lesser extent.
A long time or a long time being abused.
Is he calm because he is unreactive or is he unreactive because he's calm
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
There's also a thing called Amazon...and it's not even there ! ( ..or any known site for that matter......)
Stop promoting yourself...your friends..or obscure websites.
Are u Gabriel Zucman?
Please correct the name of book.. There is no book by that name.
I'hv to read that book
@@Nopemkbits a bot, the book he is refering is irelevant and very hard to find
Thomas shelby was a world war 1 veteran in the series. He was a tunneler, a job which requires you to operate in the worst possible conditions. He was a gypsy who lived his childhood in poverty. And all of this hardships coupled with horrors of the war made tommy who he was. Merely imitating his reactions to certain situations won't make you a tough guy. You have live your life out of your comfort zone to transform your persona into that of someone like thomas shelby.
thats what I thought too this video is going to get people into problems
Yep, it's pretty much acting like someone you're not.
They should pin this
The simple fact of the situation. He used to laugh a lot, then he turned into what we know him as
You don't need to experience horrible things to learn from someone who has, or from their actions and beliefs. This video isn't invalidated from this information, because it doesn't rely on this information heavily or directly. There's a bigger focus on the ends than the means.
These are things you do naturally when youre confident, these body language videos dont work because youre just imitating confidence. You cant lie to yourself about how you actually feel, people see straight through it
True af you either got it or you dont, not that it cant be developed eventually but its something that will happen naturally with the right combination of people place and time. Like Jim Carrey said, if you wear a mask around people expect to wear that mask to the grave.
@@whorem0anss personality, personal etc...from Greek persona= mAsk...I've eliminated this word from my vocabulary...just a previous comment, saying "strong personality "... not knowing what he's actually talking about...
I'm someone who is quiet but not unconfident. I clicked on this video and sure enough, these are all things I do or have picked up as I became an adult (almost scary how accurate). The thing is to really try to understand where each point is coming from and really "feel" it rather than just copying the motions. For me personally, some of these points like holding eye contact, are things I almost see as a challenge to myself- but that is only after I first saw the value in it.
This guy is an actor. He's not a ww1 vet in real life. He's imitating confidence, to the point people act like it's a real person. How is this obvious point being missed by so many people in these comments. Fake confidence long enough and well enough and it becomes the real thing.
nah bro, im gonna be tommy one day
There is a LOT of truth to the statement, "Fake it till you make it.". When I was a little kid, I was bullied relentlessly. Every day in school was hell. My mom, who used to be a military police officer, told me it was because I looked and acted like a victim. She told me basic things like walking with my head up, my shoulders back, walk slower, etc. Even though I had ZERO confidence, I did those things. Eventually I learned how to fight. I literally became more confident by faking having confidence. Eventually, other aspects of confidence evolved naturally. These are ALL great tips! The shoulders back and head up is, imo, the best place to start.
thanks for sharing this it helps alot, much love brother
where was your dad?
@@bigmre113 Oh, he was around, but he was never particularly tough. He is more of the passive type. My mom has always been the tough one.
You forgot to mention that Tommy has breakdowns after some of these scenes, releasing great amounts of stress he felt during periods where he shows himself as being "calm". And he drinks a lot & smokes a lot until the last season.
Nothing is free. I can be the calm dude in situations where everyone is running for their lives. Sometimes stress hits you after
He probably didn't mention this as it can a does spoil character behavior
A should consider another career if this causes breakdowns and drinking. It’s just acting.
@@lottnio8207 Bruh he's a gangster, wtf you mean "consider another career"? You mean stay broke like.. most of you?
@@lottnio8207 He wanted great power and lots of money. He knows the price. Even if it's just "a movie".
I had a lot of problems holding eye contact with people. What really helped me was the "choosing an eye" thing. It also automatically made me feel more confident because I knew my eyes were completely locked on the person. It was a whole different energy.
Kind of like Michael from the Godfather who almost always maintains eye contact with the people he’s talking to.
just a tip, naturally people's eyes switch over to look at the other one from time to time, so instead of looking at one switch it up, it'll make you seem like you're not staring/uncomfortable
Whilst studying at college I had a part time job in a store where the manager ruled by intimidation. Everyone was afraid of him - including my naïve immature self. During the time I was there I developed a stutter and the inability to look people in the eye. After I left it took me a few years of maturing to shake that experience off.
Thanks Gerald.
I learned a valuable life lesson though - respect others, and if you see someone who appears to be nervous around you give them a warming smile and engage with them in nice brief conversation if you can (added humor is a big plus!). You'll be surprised how much of a positive effect this has on a person's confidence.
I found while making eye contact...alternately blinking each eye has a striking effect...don't exactly kno what...but who your doing it too smiles, and gets all tough tied...ahaha.
With the eye contact thing, I found it a bit intense to stare into both eyes, so I would focus on the "opponent's" one eye, then, a few seconds later, shift the focus on the other eye. It sounds weird, but it seems to be very disquieting, in my favour fortunately 😂
"The nearer man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength. " - Marcus Aurelius.
Confidence comes from within the person. All these body movements just naturally comes when you are in that mode
*Aurelion Sol
I'd say it works both ways when you practice. When you intentionally practice slower movements, it can help the mind to slow down too.
ultra instinct?
Meditation also does wonders, helping to regulate your emotions to be calm and not reactive, and being mindful of your surroundings goes a long way.
Can't agree more.
I am someone with Social Anxiety but Sometimes(very rarely) I feel fuckin calm mentally in social situations That's when I feel I'm the most Confident among the people around me.
The thing is, it's not about behaviours, it;s about what is behind those behaviours. When you feel confident, the eye contact, the slow movement comes naturally, it is not something you plan or remember to do, you just feel that way. Feeling confident and calm is much more complex than looking someone in the eyes
Facts, as a quiet, introverted, somewhat shy but now very confident and self assured person, I now naturally do this. But I've put myself out there enough and tolerated disrespect enough to demand respect from others and nothing less. I don't tolerate any disrespect. And so when I carry myself, that natural translates through. People ALWAYS think I'm an extrovert when it comes to the conversation about personality types even though I speak the least in a group.
Exactly. It all started in the mind. When your mind is right, your body will naturally follow.
@@TheProtagonist37I like focusing on the body eventually my mind catches up
You know it's bad when you try to make eye contact but can't do it for a long time not because of lacking confident, but because of eye soring and tears coming out automatically 😭
@@adolf_alija🗿
Good video, but there's nothing specific here. I recommend everyone to find the forbidden book Mareska Manipulation; you'll be shocked by the attraction techniques it contain about manipulation.
As an introvert person who lacks lot of confidence and always feel in a rush againt time available, I have great respect for those kind of personalities and that is also what I would like to build more as a person. That is very insightful, thanks.
Being introvert doesn't exclude you from being confident. I'm an introvert myself and just the realisation that a lot of extraverts deal with the same problems and feelings I do but express themself differently helped me a lot. It was liberating that with the years I learned to just don't give a F what people think of me and that helped me express my opinions or defend my borders even though I knew some would not like me for it. The fact I don't care what the majority of people think of me gives me confidence because I don't have to pull punches if I need to stand up for myself, my beliefs, my well being, my interests or the people I care about.
@@Carrinthesometimes it does
@@kay6692 True. But my point is, it doesn't have to be.
I've tried the first tips (move slowly and relaxed) and "unintentionally" did it in front of my mother. She told me to do dishes when I was just arrived from gas station. I slowly stop at the terrace, gaze straight to her eyes. Then nodding
Her reaction was: "Please don't do that again. Some people may feel intimidated and beat you later."
Conclusion, the tips was definitely legit.
lol
😂
Lmao 😂
Lmfaaoo 😂😂
Underated comment🤣🤣🤣
Your insights provide a roadmap for introverts and those who prefer a quieter demeanor to navigate social situations with grace and authenticity. I appreciate the wisdom you've shared and believe it will empower many to embrace their unique strengths. Well done
My mom is an introvert and my late Dad was an extrovert. I'm an introvert that also learned how to be an extrovert when the need arises but prefer my introverted nature
There's something else that is important that was ommitted. Whenever somebody does interrupt Tommy with a question, whether he's speaking or giving a proposal, he simply ignores it and continues onward with what he was saying. That speaks volumes without actually having to say anything extra.
One way to instantly command/get back respect is by always telling the truth, even if it hurts. But then learning to say it in a way that doesn't offend or make the other person feel more bad than they need to. You can start by writing a list of things you have been lying about to yourself and others.
I feel like a lot of people have the misconception that telling the truth necessarily has to hurt/offend the other person, when that just doesn't have to be the case.
@@WanderTheNomad People often think that honesty means letting loose of emotions and being savage for savagery's sake. One classic example is how politicians and dictators who speak obvious lies and stupidities are considered by many as 'straight-forward' and brutally honest.
Agreed, it's uncomfortable at first, but also being able to develop calm is the key.
I used to have a boss who always left uncomfortable silences. I just sat there waiting for her to fill them. She soon realised I wasn't ready to play her games and that my time was best used at doing my job and not in a personal development review.
Not true - sometimes you don’t need to say the truth - in some circumstances you don’t have to say anything etc
Not true at all, sometimes people are aholes to you BECAUSE you are truthful
Great breakdown on Thomas Shelby!
This video is exactly what I needed to start my day on a positive note. It's a reminder that success comes to those who work hard and never give up. Thank you for this motivation!
In summary for the average clumsy introvert:
1. Make reasonably long eye contact. Give a little nod if you wanna be not rude. Smile on command if you know how.
2. Move slowly and orderly. Erratic movement, confused hands and excessive head turning will ruin the Shelby vibe.
3. Think before you speak so you can choose the right words and CUT OUT unnecessary things. Talk slowly too.
As Chase Hughes says, move like you're under water.
so ... be that sloth front desk clerk/secretary at the police station from Zootopia, Gotcha :P
@@agnidas5816 Omg.. having reread my writing, you're absolutely right lol.
@@MarcusConstantine_Cavalida21 Better to be like the Red Fox.
@@agnidas5816 deplete their patience, and win
My personal experience with being able to speak in front of an audience is to be prepared and to have confidence in what it is you will be communicating. I found that I would almost zone out as I was lecturing as if everything else sort of vanished and I was in my own dimension delivering the message I had prepared ahead of time.
I hate speaking in front of an audience. One strategy that sort of helps and I need to keep reminding myself is I have information the audience wants. If not they wouldn't be there. I know more, I can supply the details and the audience is there to receive that info. It's still not 2nd nature. I gotta pump myself up. still hate it
For point 2, if there's a threat of violence, don't look to the side! Looking downward toward the body, if done purposefully instead of evasively is both tactically and psychologically sound. It's easier to keep a cool head, and by looking for their actions instead of words, it's unnerving for them to continue talking.
People think of what they see other people looking at, so instead of reflecting back their own emotion through eyes, they start thinking of the vulnerability of their own body. "You're prepared to hurt my body. Do I really want to go there?" instead of "You feel that way about me! How do I feel about you?"
I never did it for psychology, just how I learned to fight. But it's had good de-escalatory effect the times I've done it, which made me think.
He said "glance downwards if you want to de escalate." Interesting story, though.
FIRST PLACE I LOOK AT EVERYONE IS ALWAYS TO THEIR SIDE, NOT MINE, BECAUSE THAT'S THE MOST LIKELY PLACE TO CARRY A GUN.
@@fondawilliam8371 I love The Art of Self-defense, where they ride up on the motorcycle and ask the potential victim if they have a gun before using karate to mug him. It's seems ridiculous, but on the other hand, most people don't know how to respond when put on the spot like that. Most people carrying a weapon of any kind would impulsively move their eyes or hand in that direction. Most people not carrying would give it away. Either way, it improves the odds of singling out a helpless victim.
Don't make me laugh. I suppose u r some lame black belt karate 🤓. Don't talk to me till you've actually shot someone, or disarmed somebody with a gun who is bigger than u.
@lame azz Kevin.
As an introvert but calm person, this is perfect. I’m looking forward to what effect I’ll have around people once I start using these tricks for now on. Just wanna show the world my confidence.
I've recently began holding eye contact with people I work with and its changed the way I get treated even by my superiors it's great!
@@nickgarner-uc7jqnah
Most important lesson of all: Do it for yourself, never do it for being cool to be with!!! It sounds weird, but when you only do it to impress others, you will give them the power over you. You are doing it for them, therefore they are the ones indirectly controlling you, as your main goal is to impress them. Why is that a problem? If you give them all the power, then the power you show using these tips will be «fake», because it will only be something you do to get respect from the ones in power. So you fake being the boss to impress everyone else, and that makes you the weakest, because you must bend to whatever they want from you. You will be more nervous when you give everyone else this power over you. So do it for yourself. That will give you all the power.
oh wow so .. complete narcissism ... lmfao ... boy you may be an undiagnosed sociopath
Well put👏.
For me is basic stand up to the person the way they stand up to you
Sounds great, thanks for this info man
Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.
Be done _before_ you're tired. Work smart, not hard. Or hire someone else to do the work for you. See how your well-intentioned 'advice' is just a platitude? Common, be better than a hallmark card.
@@BlaBla-jj6sh just like ‘work smart not hard’ is a platitude. none of it is this deep, and your advice is so general it borders on meaningless. very ironic that you mocked the other commenter for being unoriginal by responding with clichés
Especially if you are a trucker or a pilot :^)
you gotta feel this way to truly act this way. fearlessness usually comes from facing extreme hardship
heh, I took psych in HighSchool. My teacher was great, one of my favorites, Mr. Murphy.
Great understanding man.
heres a good one.
~ when asking for something, give yourself time. Days if possible. When talking to your "target" one on one, try shifting your wieght. Maybe lean on a wall. Or lean back.
If the person mimics your movement, they are in agreement with you. It is at this time you ask your question.
If the person does not, go ahead and wait for another chance.
I've used this to get dates, promotions and general life.
While i think Tommy Shelby is an fascinating and cool character, i also think it is important to differentiate fiction from reality.
In Peaky Blinders he knows his place and does things that somehow work wonders and miracles.
This character has a fictional history and his nature is more than likely purely based on what the creators of the show wanted it to be, so it can be captivating. Who in his right mind would behave like him and get away with it? Everything is pre determined in the show. You're NEVER gonna be either one. You is the only real thing. Not the character Cillian Murphy portrays. Realistically, If you were put under the pressure Tommy has faced, you'd be dead before you realized it. It's like doing an analysis on Scarface. Sure it's fun, interesting and fascinating but not close to the reality of OUR world. This is just my humble opinion. Don't compare yourself to none other than you.
However, is this a cool analysis of Thomas? Absolutely.
Spot on. And very underrated comment.
Too many fiction based characters displayed as role models, indeed.
This comment quite true. I almost imitated thomas shelby behaviour into mine. But instantly I regret, because in the show, they do as script wants to or what the shows want to.
What we need is just to know what we weak of, then cover it with what we strong of or even built it.
@@iulianbendrea9010 I don't mind drawing inspiration from fictional characters, as long as you are still you... However pretending to be them or act like them is another thing. Trying to act like something you aren't is not the authentic or real you. Unless you're a professional actor.
@@syahrizaindrautomo44 Creating good and healthy habits is one step in the right direction. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday and improve upon it, just don't take it too far. Like everything else; practice moderation, healthy and good habits.
True!!!!
Main thing that lifts you up is acting and feeling on top of the people you talk to even tho ur obviously not. It might seem a bit toxic but people will start to respect you more
*Every family has a person who breaks the chian of poverty in their house I pray you become that one and be a successful in life 🙏*
Sure, the investment-advisor that guides me is..
Cathie Wood
I Met Mrs Cathie Wood last 2021 for the first time at a conference meeting, where she greeted a friend of mine also a member, and fortunately for me, we exchanged contact and got along. What God cannot do, doesn't exist" I truly believe this word 100 percent❤❤❤
Her services is the best, I got a brand new Lambo last week and paid off my mortgage loan thanks to her wonderful services!🥰
Wow wow please is there any way to reach there services, I work 3 jobs and trying to pay off my students loan for a while now!! Please help me
Great video!
You are great ❤️
People fixate on 'confidence-confidence-confidence'. It is the eventual outcome of good traits aggregating. Form and keep your inner peace. That is the first step. The other is discipline. Confidence is cross product of the two, nothing more. It's like trying to make pancakes without having any idea what are heat, grease, flour, milk and eggs for.
Couldn't agree more on first two statements
Love the pancake analogy 🥞
Self accountability (Accepting who you are, flawed, owning it and in spite of that, be responsible for yourself), is self validation, a precursor to confidence. Everything falls in place after that; Your walk, your talk and how you react, because you pander to nobody. If you can't hold yourself accountable, you are either a liar or a coward, or both.
I'm a woman who is more introverted/ quiet and have done some of these when I was more confident in myself. However, I didn't know it was a strength and a way to command respect. It really does help to not let your emotions control you, to only speak when necessary, and to have good posture/body language. This was very informative 😊
i think the most important thing is not the way we act, but more to the way we think, knowing our way in and out in variety of situation, got every everything mapped out that drives our motoric system to perform the coolness of tommy shelby.
Look good and be intimidating in a confident and charming way.
David Wright from Survivor would be a great example of someone who had the worst confidence and by the end of his season was one of the most confident people in the room. I hope you guys can cover him because he would be a great example of someone who built that internal confidence by taking risks and understanding the world around him was less scary than he thought. Keep up the good work!
agreed cover him^^
Whenever I’ve had a job interview, internal review, presentation or anything that requires me to be more than me; I imagine I’m talking to my sister. I’m fully aware that the person/people isn’t my sister, so I need to keep professional, but as the only person I’ve every felt 100% confident of just being my self is when I’m around my lil sis; this technique has helped me immensely. People are nuanced. We are flawed. We are insecure. We are all beautifully different. We just need to find and remember that one person that we can be comfortable around, and use that feeling to remember that we don’t have to be something special; you just need to be YOU.
These “self-help” or whatever they call these videos are generalised and full of tropes. I mean, if it was this easy then every one would be confident… right? Lol
I know Conan has been a topic before, but can you guys commit a full video just to his personality? I feel like he's so charismatic and lovable he just stands out like crazy, I'd love to hear your guys' take
This channel has changed my life to the better! Thanks!
Same
Often, you can identify the dominant person in a group by the fact their movements are less, slower and more deliberate and they can be the ones with the least to say or prove.
copying someone behaviour will never last long the most important thing in life is to be yourself and not depend on what people think of you, people don't respect themselves
Problem with showing conviction like this is that most people can't back it up, causing you to lose credibility. One of my study mates is SO certain of EVERYTHING, yet he's wrong 80% of the time. I'm uncertain of everything, because I'm aware that anyone can make mistakes and have misunderstood something, yet I'm right 90% of the time. But being right most of the time, doesn't change the fact that I can still be wrong and even being wrong 10% of the time with absolute conviction would be worse than being right 90% of the time while not coming across as 100% sure. Because I'm not, no one is.
Note: My study mate's conviction and confidence definitely helps him come across as smart with people that doesn't know him, and even helps him in exams, yet anyone that actually knows him take everything he says with a HUGE grain of salt, because he says things with such a certainty even when he's not sure at all. Maybe he thinks he is, but he shouldn't be.
perfect duo!
now, about you, i think you could benefit from taking more risk. you will fail more, but learn more.
Lol true. It’s baffling to me how people seem so sure of themselves when they have to realize how often they are wrong
@@spankey88 It's frustrating to me honestly. Especially when it works for them with people that don't know that they're full of it =P
@@k01dsv if we were unsure/not confident about everything, nothing would get done due to undeciveness, fear, etc..Mistakes will happen.
Failure comes before success
There is a difference in faking confidence and then knowing who/what you are.
Whoever the person given this kind of body language to the tommy charecter is GENIUS
Key part in the section about pausing in the middle of a sentence, he doesn't use filler words. He's incredibly quick witted and either already knows what he's going to say or uses the pauses to give the impression he does while planning his next move/point of speech
Talking slowly, allowing ur mind to not fault with speaking and words
I love this one tbh
Interesting breakdown as always! I have a hard time talking slow and pausing at certain points in conversation because I've gotten used to being interrupted and cut off.
Wow, how honest !! I have a Sister, she's a school teacher. Family get together,,,me, I would talk about something and half way through,,"eh I tend to disagree" whither she's right or wrong. THEN, everybody has to shut up while SHE speaks and whoa betide anyone that interrupts her!!! So i know exactly where your coming from !!😊
as confident as i am, i have a tendency to speak fast as well which sometimes results in people being distracted and interrupt me. it feels like good advice to speak slightly slower and a more confident tone and see what happens. how has it worked out for you in the past 8 months?
@@Bonbloc I haven't really noticed being cut off in conversation, but I have yet to break my bad habit of speaking too quickly or paraphrasing while telling a joke or funny story because I'm worried someone will cut me off and break my rhythm, or just switch topics so I don't get to finish
When you're cut off, hang your last word, stop talking, look them in the eye for 1 second longer than necessary, and 90% of the time, a person will apologize for cutting you off, and go out of their way to not do it again. You're showing them that you don't approve of them speaking over you, but you give respect by stopping what you're saying. It's true that to get respect, you must give it. When you give respect, and are disrespected in the same situation, people feel the need to either apologize, or make it up to that person.
@@crazierthorn10 that only works with 1 on 1 conversations. but in group convo's they just look at something/someone else so you cant maintain eyecontact
I tried training myself a different body language for I while but I stopped because it stressed me out. I'm not a loud speaker and I hate groups where the loudest and most dominant people get to talk the most. I know that I have a lot smart stuff to speak about, but if people prefer nonsense blabla it's their bad. If I don't feel respected and heard I am quiet and that's alright. Gladly there a people who are different and know the basics of respectful and calm conversation with whom I open up and can also talk and talk. Slowly movements, keeping eye contact, that costs so much energy.
It’s called practice….repetition. Of course it will take a lot of energy it’s something out of your comfort zone
I stumbled upon shirlest by accident, and I’m so grateful. The insights on manifesting wealth are next level.
His presence Command's attention, his energy can be felt by everyone in the room.
His aura hits different
I think this video is really effective, although I think it’s important to break down why we do the things we already do (body language). We can’t do without knowing why we feel the need to do.
скорее всего, это заложено природой, когда были инстинкты, чтоб нравиться противоположному полу и показывать другим так сказать "сородичам", что мы испытываем
This guys rizz control is insane, he radiates rizz man, his chakra control is insane bro he could kill me any day.
Madara can beat him
I learned a similar thing from teaching children. They lack long attention spans, so making use of pause, speech speed and rhythm really pulled them in and maintained a longer attention span. This showed me that the way to not only garner respect, but to be compelling in speech is by controlling nonverbal additions to communication to add layers to your "credibility".
"An expert guitar player can transform a boring piece of music by altering expression, tempo, dynamics and style. He plays with non values".
Find the "non values", master them.
From one teacher to another, I love your advice! ThankYou!❤
Showing conviction with your tone. You should only do that if you are sure about what you want. AND you should only do that if you are ready to stand for and argue what you want, if someone else has a different opinion or want something else. It’s not like ending your sentences with that low tone, that everybody will agree with you instantly. It creates conflict most of the time. You should definitely end your sentences in a high pitched tone, like you do with a question, when you are „okay“ with other opinions, to show that other people can freely add their input and you will listen. Sounding unsure isn’t bad all the time, If someone makes a worse proposal, you can still argue that yours is better afterwards. In my opinion you should only sound sure about your words if you are 100% sure that you are right and you are ready to fight everyone else. Otherwise you will fall flat on your face. That happens.
You can not tell people that everyone should behave like a boss. Because if everyone is a boss, there will be no one left working for the boss. And if you have no one working for you, who’s boss are you really? Yes make your opinion clear, but don’t do it in a way that others thing theirs is worthless. The world need great followers more then great bosses.
I would love a more in-depth guide on eye contact. Maybe it’ll only be 3 minutes long, but something that includes: how long to hold eye contact depending on interaction, casual, talking with a boss/teacher, when meeting someone for the first time, and when just walking past someone. Where to look away and if you should quickly look back into their eyes and hoe long to look away etc.
Honestly me personally I’m terrible at eye contact when I don’t really have much to say, simply uninterested or uncomfortable but going out more socializing helps a lot. I work in SoHo in a clothing store and honestly I’ve improved so much on eye contact and interacting w people and getting out that nervous habit. I also noticed when I get high my eye contact and social skills are terrible
You cannot and should not determine eye contact based on some random metric.
It's all situational. You have to develop the quality to be able to understand and feel it out
Comes with awareness practice. Never comes without it.
It was in the video we just watched. Exactly answering those questions.
yes , lucifer morningstar, make eye contact while you're giving me head.
Probably the greatest, well written casted and acted, character and show ever in a series
How many series have you watched in your life?
Everything they try to teach you in this is already in you. I learned the hard way but what I realized was that. Everything you need is already in you here's my 3 things that will help you immensely.1deal with. Childhood trauma's it's hard and uncomfortable but necessary, 2 be aware that you only get one family, learn to live in gratitude and finally stop caring what others think otherwise your living your life for others...xxxx
I agree with you on almost everything, but it also depends on the appearance. He has this special calm, but also charismatic mysterious look when he looks you in the eye which not all people have., which is one of the reasons why he behaves calmly and composed in an almost escalating situation. It depends on how you look on the outside without wanting to offend anyone, it has to be a good looking man like he is, and not to forget, the voice needs to be that deep like his voice, and that is interesting to listen to. All of these aspects together bring the effect that you are describing here very good.
ya that probably good even if your not life experienced person u do look like with this behavior
Yes, he shows examples where he's staring at someone and that person is staring right back, but Tommy appears more intense and confident than the other person doing the same thing. Why? Because it's not the action itself.
having eye contact does not mean escalation, it may avoid the same. The person in front may want to assault you and is just looking for a moment when you is off guard to go for it. But looking right back at your aggressor would mean the person in front can't catch you off guard.
Personally eye contact is awkward and pointless to me, the only person that would have my eye contact, would be for example my wife. Eye contact is pretty intimate if you ask me, guys looking into another guys eyes, seems like a waste, if one can listen and continue engaging in work or recriational activity simultaneously. You would stop and give your spouse all of your attention so much so you look into their eyes and focus, stopping anything else that's currently happening. I hope this perspective helps.
@@Notyourhandle777 You look into someone's eyes to share and receive information. I look into the eye of a man I am about to tangle with, to see what he will do.
But tbf i think Tommys absence of fearing death adds on to his confidence and ability to appear calm in serious situations as the reality of things, Tommy is very incapable of controlling his life (well ig someone who hasn't watched the show would be able to understand your perspective better)but besides the point, his charisma is undoubtedly impressive
This right here, this is the real reason of his behaviour, since the beggining of the show this is his philosophy of life, he died in the war with his team, now everything after that it's extra, you can never lose from that viewpoint.
@@whiskyghost Yeah, Tommy after the war is arguably "testing the game of life", and only lives to see how big his empire can really become, after all he's already welcomed death into his realm and isn't afraid to die.
Aki Kaurismäki uses these tricks in his films. I learned them from him. Brilliant man, yet so modest.
I've been doing the Carrot / stick strategy my whole life without even knowing that it was actually a thing. It's very powerful psychologically.
A personal tip for introverts:
Talk and act like if you were so tired, kinda angry, angsty and done with life. I bet even "powerful" people of your environment will respect you, and trust in you. Walk fast, talk loud but slow, work hard and stay humble👑🔥
I think the most real life example of Shelby's character would be Keanu Reeves or/and Henry Cavill; quiet and introverted yet charismatic.
I never watched this show, i would say you can’t hide who you are, you can change things around you, but if you’re truly a great person don’t change, it a matter of time those things will eventually came back, when you meet someone unfortunately like my self i can see those in a blink of a eye, my dad was just like this guy on this carácter I wish i was lying, i never wanted to be like him, but at the end i admire everything he was, because he was a piece of me, and that piece is what’s left of what I always should i been from the beginning.
Basically all of these points originate from a source of confidence, and confidence is absolutely essential to attaining a charismatic and respected stance. Even if you're not actually confident, just act so and people will respect you.
E.g. If you awkwardly make eye contact with a stranger, don't break away because you feel you're being weird, maintain it briefly, not for long, but long enough that they know that you're not afraid to show that you're comfortable in social situations and when making eye contact.
Competence gives you confidence. No acting required.
@@brostophelese-9389 Very true 👍
3:55 On the thing with upwards inflections, it's really important to point out that certain accents, especially accents found in the UK, quite often use upwards inflections at the end of sentences, e.g. the Liverpudlian accent or the Glaswegian accent, and actually, even the West Midlands/"Black Country" accent that Tommy is supposed to have has upwards inflections at the end of sentences, but these accents don't imply that the speaker is unsure at all. I can imagine a lot of Americans being confused by this lol although I think the "Vally Girl" accent found in LA is similar, think the Kardashians lol.
And The Valley girl accent doesn’t make you appear very confident and competent, does it?
Just because the accent is like this, doesn’t mean it loses its inherent effect on people. Especially those who are not used to it. In Germany most accents make you appear less competent than standard high German. Even though it may sound normal to those who are used to the accent.
@@SmokingBirds I'm not sure if you're agreeing or not but yes, that's what I was saying. It would be a mistake to read into certain accents in this way.
LIMEY REDCOAT. I WANT TO SEE U BLEED. STOP WITH THE SUPERFICIAL NONSENSE. THAT HAS NO TRUTH TO IT AT ALL. AS SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ENGLISH WELSH STEPFATHER WHO IVE KNOWN SINCE 1996, I CAN VEHEMENTLY SAY IT IS STRICTLY A PERSONALITY TRAIT AND THE WORLD ROUND TALKING IN A HIGH -PITCHED VOICE IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS OR VULNERABILITY. ONCE AGAIN DO U WANT 2 BELIEVE SOME SO- CALLED EXPERT, OR SOMEONE WITH EXPERIENCE?
Tommy Shelby, one of the best characters ever. of course there's other great but man Cillian killed it.
Absolutely agree! Tommy Shelby's character in *Peaky Blinders* really exemplifies a unique blend of charisma and calmness. His slow, relaxed movements and steady eye contact, especially in tense situations, really do command attention and respect.
I’ve noticed that practicing these habits can significantly change how people perceive you. For instance, I started focusing on my tone and using pauses, which helped me convey confidence and conviction in conversations. Plus, incorporating humor into those pauses, as I learned in the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x, made my interactions more engaging. It’s all about finding that balance! Keep honing these skills; they can truly transform your presence!
Crazy how I do this naturally. Although it could be my subconscious picking up these traits from movies/shows I've watched since I was little.
Ive always been this way, This video just explained my entire personality, So I guess I see why people respected me without me realizing why.
I do a few of them and am somewhat well respected
This isn’t about you.
@@yamalblijd7798 it is because its my personality to the bone.. Take it as you wish.
LOOOL, if Tommy was real he would be a nobody.
Honestly having a gun pointed at you is an extremely eye opening moment....it shows you who you are, you forget everything else.
The way Hidden Time Wealth dives into the concept of productivity is mind-blowing. Hidden Time Wealth tips are pure gold, and I wish more people knew about them.
We all thank you for your amazing movies, cheers from Scottish hills! Anyone interested in Scotland is welcomed
Thank you so much man, me and my girlfriend will sure visit Scotland this summer! Cheers man !
I have Scottish terriers
@@HeidiAndScots haha at lead one Scottish thing you have!
There's definitely something to be said about a confident stare.
A couple years ago, I was walking into the drugstore and this man comes up right behind me. He's walking right behind me, right on my heels, with his body kind of 'spooning' me like trying to separate me from the rest of the store, and he tells me he's following me, compliments me on my looks, asks if I have a boyfriend, if my boyfriend will beat him up if he talks to me, that kind of jazz. I continue to make my way to my coveted TP, humoring him to a few 'hmm!..' and 'you don't say!..' along the way.
I make it to TP island, and by then I've about had enough of his smothering, so I don't know what his question is in that moment, but I just turn my head to him, stare for a second, exhale loudly...... And I think I was going to tell him something along the lines of 'look, good sir, can a gal collect her monthly supply of TP without becoming a target to a pimp?..'
The thing is, instead what happened is I blinked at that point, and between me closing my eyes and re-opening them, the dude had gone from standing right next to me to being a few yards away making a quick exit to the back door.
I was left almost disappointed of having been robbed of my snarky remark...
A lot of things comes into play regarding your situation ofcourse I am glad you made it out and yup confidence triggered him to fled away, i mean intially he might have thought that he's the one who's following you but after that glare i mean after travelling quite a distance to the place where you gave that glare , he might have thought that you are the one who's leading to your turf and touch me if you can vibe in my turf kinda thing
What's TP?
@@RAJUBHAI-ww7em Sorry for my late reply. I think the bottom line is that a would-be predator stops being one the second the 'victim' refuses to play that role... It takes 2 to tango, as the saying goes... ;)
I'm just going to put this out there, because I really like the advice given here and have discovered a lot of it on my own working with people, in sales, legal hearings, business dealings, and other tough situations.
The carrot stick example for the raise is going to work because you're basically not negotiating. You are asking somebody how much they want in return for something they give you and then you're just doing it. That's like telling somebody to go up to a house that's for sale, asking them how much money they want to sell it, and then give that much money to them. Of course it's going to work, the real problem is when you are simply being underpaid. You want more money in return for doing exactly what you're already doing because what you're doing is worth more than what you are being compensated, or you simply need more money to live. THATS tough.
"Hey boss, what do I need to do to earn $20,000/year more?"
"Ruin your life. Change this job into something different than it is now, where you do 60% more work for 20% more money."
"GIMME THREE MONTHS FAM"
I would say, that just the stick part is very effective(finding a different opportunity and going with it to the current employer). It's a WIN/WIN. Either they keep you your position with a raise, and get a knowledge that your current job cares about you as a valuable worker, or get the info that they don't and go for a better offer.
This one video helped me in more ways than I can express. Helped my confidence, family dynamics, social anxiety, view of myself, my world, and my relationships. These videos should always be taken with a grain of salt, but thank you. Thank you!
I think having a square jaw, awesome cheekbones and piercing blue eyes helps the "confidence without speaking" thing immensely. If Michael Cera made the same face, no one would care.
Crushing aside, little to do with the topic. Pretty sure it is not about the actor. I may be wrong. Just saying. 💚
in real life even a Michael Sera kind of guy could come up as charismatic and confident. The actor is good looking, like almost every actor. But most people on earth are Michael Seras. So don´t compare yourself to model type of person. You could never live up to that, neither do I and neither does other people.
Let's not forget he is a Professional Actor, you're either high or drunk, and you just watched an ad trying to get you to buy into something you can do on your own.
Confidence doesn't come at the push of a button it takes time and plenty of patience. Its trial by error you will learn and grow with yourself being comfortable in your own shoes not someone else's. No need to have to pay for charisma and confidence. Experience it yourself over time. It must be your own choice as well naturally.
Solid advice
exactly, it comes with putting yourself in difficult situations and getting that experience. Its impossible to have confidence with no experience in my opinion, that's just arrogance.
i had to build that up from the very bottom and it was so hard , especially when people would take advantage of your kindness & golden heart and shattering to pieces and setting it ablaze without even looking back . now i'm slowly learning to not let people walk all over me like a doormat, to net let people take advantage of me , to not let anyone ever hurt me like that again or anything . i will command respect and be silent and give it in return to those who give it in return and to those who deserve .
Only attractive guys is confident, looks only what matters
Hidden Time Wealth blew my mind. I’ve shared it with friends, and they’re all amazed at how much more productive they've become.
Bottom line, Tommy was calm in those situations because he secretly thought he deserved to die and the thought of death brought with it a release from everything he carried and was therefore not to be feared but welcomed. I think that character was well accustomed to waking up thinking, this day - this moment - could be my last on earth, so I'll focus on what I must do before my time is up. That might be the best lesson we learn from Thomas Shelby.
For all of this habits you need a strong background
not necessarily true.
not true. i do not have a good background, nor have i really explained to anyone. i was just a normal person, but after many things that happened that could have easily killed me, i became a lot more calm in scenarios people usually wouldnt. i know im going to die one day, and i most likely do not know that day, so why spend it unwisely.
@@justsomeguymustache there is lots of sigma males in the world bro if there you need to prove yourself bro
The people's always respect a gangster instead of solo person
@@Godhimself-d3x its not necessary LOL, and by the way, i never said i was anything but a normal person, who doesnt talk a lot, but gets respect from those around me. you talk like a child.
@@Godhimself-d3x English please
I feel like these tricks really work coz once in my class my teacher was asking everyone if they have done their notes my sir was only willing to check some students if they have done their homework but ask the question to everyone so I did what I had to do I was sitting there looking at my teacher with a confidential eye like I'm willing to stand and show my homework as soon as my teacher call my name even though I didn't even do my homework that day and you know what's the best part my sir never asked me if I have finished my homework or not.
One of my favourite scenes in PB (and one missing from this video) was where the horse he's walking with rears up at some loud noise coming from a factory nearby. He calms the horse and whispers in its ear "It's only noise, it's only noise". And with that insight you look around at most of what people say as noise, nothing to be troubled by, most of it nonsense. Stay calm and think.
2:40 honestly there is something calming from having a gun pressed against your head, I don't know if it is the finality of it, the certainty that there is no "if only I had done this!" moment later on or what, but I have never being as calm as for the brief moment I had a 9mm pointed, point blank, against my forehead, and I'm usually an anxious person.
Yeah I agree something about being a step from death that calms me and quites the voices in my head
Great content. I wish I could see more of women in senior position with the kind of power and confidence that Thomas Shelby has.
Fake it till you make it, always an amazing tip for me
Hidden Time Wealth is so unique. I can’t believe I hadn’t heard about it sooner. It’s amazing how life-changing this can be for anyone battling procrastination.