Are You A ‘Clean Girl’ Or ‘That Girl’ Or Do You Just Have No Personality?
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- #cleangirlaesthetic #thatgirlaesthetic #overconsumption
TikTok’s neverending hamster wheel of aesthetics such as the ‘clean girl,’ ‘that girl,’ ‘mob wife,’ ‘coastal grandmother,’ ‘cottagecore,’ or ‘tomato girl’ may be a symptom of Gen Z’s identity crisis. These aesthetic trends are often rooted in overconsumption, consumerism and commodifying everyday life. In this video, I discuss the social implications of these trends and how it’s shaping identities in problematic ways.
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Sources:
In the name of aesthetics: Problematic romanticized concepts from Lolita to Mob-Wife
www.uatrav.com...
Fashion industry's carbon impact bigger than airline industry's
www.cbsnews.co...
The Most Viral TikTok Fashion Trends to Shop Right Now
www.elle.com/f...
The “Mob Wife Aesthetic” Is Trending - Here’s Why It’s Also Facing Criticism
katiecouric.co...
Instagram: / ashleyaviola
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Patreon: / ashleyaviola
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Keywords for the algo:
TikTok aesthetics, that girl aesthetic, clean girl aesthetic, cottagecore, vanilla girl, girl dinner, mob wife aesthetic, slavic bimbo aesthetic, y2k aesthetic, gen z’s identity crisis, consumerism on TikTok, overconsumption on TikTok, girl dinner, girl math, pink pilates princess, cinnamon girl, E-Girl, Clean Girl, Cottagecore, Dark Academia, Normcore Blueberry milk nails, Coquette,sustainable fashion, TikTok fashion trends, fashion identity crisis, social media influence on fashion
I can’t imagine being an adult (25-30 & up) and being easily influenced to go out, buy “costumes” simply to post on social media as a trend.
This!! When the stanley craze was happening I couldn't understand how everyone is falling for it. Like why do you think having 50 stanley cups is okay and good for your wallet.
This kind of thinking is honestly pretty naive because anyone can be influenced at any age, you don't just wake up at 25 suddenly with ironclad impulse control. There are people whose careers are dedicated to getting people to buy stuff and 25+ is typically the age when people have extra income to spend, acting like anyone past the age of 25 should just suddenly "know better" if they spent every age up to the age of 24 chasing trends is pretty unreasonable. We should be trying to teach everyone no matter what age to follow their own likes rather than trend chasing even if they're kids or teenagers, not just adults.
@@angel1452678well said!!
Most people do this because they're insecure, seeking to fit in or obtain external validation, lack confidence, and just don't have a strong sense of identity of who they are or what they truly like. I know because I've been there, and it took therapy, spending less time online and sitting down and questioning what I truly wanted, liked, etc, and not what the internet was telling me to aspire to. Wouldn't judge them, but I've come to realize that we all have insecurities and issues, and we need to keep working on ourselves all the time and limit social media usage as much as possible.
Honestly, I think this sort of trend has a lot to do with the loneliness a lot of people suffer from in the modern age. When you are lonely and desperate for any sort of human connection, some people will do anything to feel like they have a place to belong. Our society tells people that they can fill that lonely gap in their life with stuff they bought, and that dressing in a certain way, or owning certain things somehow makes you part of a community. But eventually, they realize that they are still lonely even while surrounded by the supposed signifiers of a community, so they try a new trend, hoping that that one will be the fix. Some people are so disconnected from other humans on a personal level that they do not know what real community is, and so they believe capitalism when it says to buy a certain jacket or a certain car to be part of a group. While I also am a person who does not easily get influenced by trends, I think that is because I am lucky enough to have a very strong group of friends and family that I feel secure in being my authentic self. If I didn't have that? Who knows, maybe I would also be pulling on a fur coat and sunglasses and calling myself a mob wife on tiktok.
The crazy thing with these aesthetics is that many of them look so similar to each other and they’re just inventing new names for them. Clean girl, vanilla
Girl, quiet luxury…I can hardly tell them apart and they keep coming up with “new” ones to sell us new crap.
Then some start beef with other aesthetics for being too similar. Look at the tomato girls getting upset with the strawberry girls (and vice versa) when both aesthetics are based on red fruit
ugh preach like yall its the SAME THING with some glamourised name 😭 tf is the difference bwteen tomato girl and strawberry girl? 😭😭😭
imma start the slavic hobo woman aesthetic
@@selfryed I think tomato girl is Mediterranean. 😆
@@ahstiasummers5583fr like coquette is just soft girl with more bows 💀
As a Slav girl, I can say that this aesthetic has nothing to do with the reality of Slavic girls. Firstly, there are more than 15 nationalities of people living in different countries and climates. Secondly, cultural experts call this exoticization. Thirdly, instead of fur coats, most Slavic women living in cold climates wear down jackets. I understand that some Slavic girls also make such TikToks to attract attention and get their moment of popularity, but this is still toxic even in their performance.
The explanation of "Slavic bimbo aesthetic" was hilarious but also sad, because it's really the exoticisation. Nobody gives a shit what the real slavic girls are or about different slavic cultures. They just want an indulgence to wear a fur coat, red lipstick and bold eyeliner, and created weird quirky explanation about "slavic wives trading" and "poor pathetic post-soviet women". Cringe.
I'm now thinking of southern Slavic nations in fur coats - I'm sure they would have soooo much use for that...
Hi, fellow Slavic girlie here. I agree 100% with what you're saying.
it is not just an aesthetic, it is a long held stereotype by westerners that slavic women are beautiful, submissive, materialistic... it's just downright insulting
"commodification of identity" is SUCH A GOOD PHRASE girl I love that. Exactly what it is.
it really is!
and it's such a sad reality, too
Right?!!!
It’s kind of scary
Marxism 🤗 get into it sometimes, dudes point was predominantly about the commodification of the self and the various ways in which consumerism erodes healthy cultural and social identity forming processes. The US has literally villainised a guy that predicted today 130 yrs ago.
100%
As someone who grew up in poverty, the girl math section absolutely floored me! I have no idea how people can live like that and not worry about their purchases coming back to bite them
The way I rolled my eyes so hard during that entire girl math section 🙄
It's supposed to be tongue in cheek lol.
I really love personal finance, buying a house with NO parental/familial help at 26, don't come from money, researched it all myself... but I love girl math, becuase it's hilarious. I will sit here fully knowing my investments are added to each month but if you think I'm not going to be like "girl math!" with my allocated spending money.
Something about SAYING silly stuff like "'m just a girl" when I *know* (and they also know if they know me lol) I can out-earn, out-program, out-climb and outsmart most of the men in my personal social circle just is a dichotamy that brings me so much joy day to day lol.
@@MarlopolyGaming out of curiosity what business did you start or job did you work to save up enough money to buy your first house?
Although a lot of the “girl math” is out there, I do believe on spending money on items that have a better quality because it is a better investment for yourself. Now all the clothes in the closet doesn’t have to be expensive, just some items that a person would wear a lot
@@PurpleStarsaver i agree with you but I wouldnt call it an investment on myself, I'm just buying something of better quality so it lasts longer and I don't have to replace it as soon as a lower quality item. It's not an investment because it doesn't generate any income but it does save me money in the long run as I don't buy replacements.
I'm slavic and hearing about American girls doing a "slavic bimbo" tik-tok aesthetic is cracking me up XDD
Exactly, for them it is ✨quirky✨ for me it is just xenophobic
I'm European and this cracks me up too! They try so hard to be "exotic" (which is problematic in itself), it's a cycle of cultural appropriation, just accept you're a basic white American woman and move on like gworl, enhance your natural beauty and embrace it! Also these people don't realize here in Europe we always looked up to them, looking at the American dream from afar and they want to be foreign, this just goes to show we always want what we can't have!
@makeupdoll7413 truuue! It was always weird to me why Americans seem to be ashamed to be just American? Like they always need to say "I'm italian" or any other ancestry even though it was like their great grandma who was Italian and they can't even speak the language 😆 there is nothing wrong with being just American. Or we Euros should start with some "American redneck" aesthetic or something 😆
the fact that it's called bimbo when it's about sex trafficking pisses me off so much
It’s dumb and offensive smh
The girl math thing cracked me up, especially when she talked about the purse cost per day (until she gets sick of it and buys a new bag.) She has no idea. I bought a $500 leather purse in 2006. I have been carrying it pretty regularly since then, and it still looks new. I bought the bag and specific brand knowing it would last me for 20+ years (and it's classic.) I have a smaller leather purse I carry when I want/need a cross body bag. Those are my two bags, period. I use things until they can't be used anymore. That is what an investment piece is. Same with cars, furniture, shoes, etc...
Having a vintage item from the 00s??? Im jealous af..
Quality costs money usually (not to be confused with spending money on brand names). It's actually more net-expensive to buy cheap items, I think it's the "shoe theory" or something like that? Basically a (high quality) £200 pair of shoes can last decades, whereas a £10 pair needs replacing often, resulting in the same price or in most cases more money spent on shoes in the long run.
@@MarlopolyGaming vimes boot theory
i used a $10 backpack purse from jcpenney (known for their poor quality) and literally carried it exclusively for 10 years.
Capitalism has commodified young women's identities and turned them into a product, so that they can sell more products to give them a sense of identity. It is a beautiful thing to be fluid and undefinable. I wish more people would embrace it, instead of trying to put on a performance that ultimately doesn't last and only leaves them feeling disappointed because no matter what they bought, they couldn't "be" someone else. I have been through it too. When I started BEING whatever I want and not BUYING whatever I want, I found peace within myself.
it's character trait acquisition
*fluid (not “fluent”)
But yes, I agree
@@calisongbird Right on
Some of these things (like the "ick" thing and the "girl math") started off funny, but people with extreme mindsets took them SOOOOO far. I thought the ick was when my crush got a haircut I didn't like (when I was in middle school) and I thought girl math was like "when I pay with my random cash so it was free" as a JOKE. That list was unhinged dude! Oh my goodness!!!
this is always the problem
lol that’s what’s wrong with ppl now. they take one thing, idea or as you said joke and take it WAY too far. Then that thing slowly starts to lose its original meaning 🤦🏾♀️
The aesthetics are so cringe. Just be you! So glad I’m barely on social media. It makes me sick.
I agree but that’s the problem. Many of these young girls are searching for who they are through these aesthetics because social media is seen as such a core part of life for them.
What a strange comment. I am me, and I identify a lot with the cottagecore movement. I really don't care if people think women enjoying things is "cringe" lol.
18:10 “resisting these trends is a radical form of self-love” 🗣️🎤👏🏾
This is WILD, I was studying communications and marketing like 15 years ago and we were talking about this, the want vs need and something called *pseudo-individualism*. This is exactly what it's about. Facebook was BARELY a thing when I was taking these classes and now with the ability to share in real time, it's just mutated into this rat-king of identity crises and capitalism
character trait acquisition
Can you recommend any insightful reads on ‘pseudo individualism’? It sounds like something I’d want to educate myself on but I don’t know where to start. Thank you
I have pretty bad spending guilt around money since I grew up lower income... That girl money logic made me PANIC.
OMG those girlmath clips were SO cringey it gave me a stomach ache
Some of that has to be a joke.
coastal grandmother one cracks me up. i live in a seaside retirement town and the grandmothers are not dressing like that
My aesthetic is literally just whatever the hell I like…. And always will be unique to me because I don’t follow any trends. I go on Pinterest, I save a cute shirt, I go to the store and see cute jeans, buy them. It is based on nothing except for what I love. People forget how to be themselves and it honestly is sad. TikTok profits off of people’s insecurities and false identities
I HATE the clean girl trend. As a Black woman since the 90s, gold hoops, lip gloss, slicked back hair, etc was considered to be “ghetto” and “gaudy.” Insane how white suburban women can rebrand something and make it “trendy.”
🫖🫖🫖
!!!!!
same with the baddie trend, it’s just black girls being black
When hwhite women do the style it is looked upon differently. Big butt, big lips ha ha. White woman does it. it is the rage. hoop earrings. corn rows braids. dreads. nasty and ghetto. white woman does it. wow that is unique and cool. I've always caught on to this. Nothing really can be done about it except calling it out which you did bravo to you
This! Seeing white women wear big gold hoops and not be shamed is infuriating! While I have been demonised for wearing mine!
I'm definitely a victim of these trends. I was going out and buying clothes to fit them, but after a week I couldn't figure out how to match the clothes together or got bored. I was getting rid of and spending so much money. I decided to get away from it and dress how I want and what I like. One day I'll dress clean girl, the next day I'll dress e-girl. That's what makes me happy.
Dress how you want. Don't give a dang what other people think.
this i like a couple aesthic but it depends on my mood
This is me a little bit. For me, I found a few styles I enjoyed, and I rotate between them depending on my mood. The styles reflect me, though.
this was me back in 2021 when everyone started dressing “alternative”, i ended buying a few pieces of clothing to fit that aesthetic before getting tired of it a year later. now, it still sits in my dresser, i plan on donating soon. thank god i finally found a style i genuinely enjoy and would indulge in!
this! Exactly this. Now I put on whatever I feel like, and whatever makes me feel empowered for the day. Life is too short to stick to one aesthetic just for the sake of online branding.
Oh my goodness. The girl math bit was hard to watch. This year, I finally accepted that things are just things. Things don't change who you inherently are. It's been so liberating. Would 100% recommend it.
Yesss
"resisting these trends is a form of radical self love" - beautifully said
The girl math example you showed really made me think “thats not girl math, thats shopping addict math”
I think it ties into the need to feel better than others. I know people who are into “fashion” and I swear they just use it as a reason to judge and belittle the people around them. If you truly were “into fashion” you wouldn’t give a flying fuck what is trendy or what people like you’d just rock whatever clothes you like without the constant comparisons to others and media.
I wanna point out that none of none of these looks are alternative in nature or form. While our looks, and styles have been usurped by corporations who find financial value in our style. You never see these kinds of videos. The most I'll see is goth influencers share what they would wear for the summer but it's always framed like "This is what I'd wear but you can wear whatever" like they are suggesting things rather than instructing us to buy.
Hmmm, I feel like 'looking for a group to tell you who you are and give you a sense of belonging' has ALWAYS been a part of adolescence, for both boys and girls. Being a teen is all about trying out a lot of different identities. It's a young person thing, the only difference now is every adult can watch kids do this online through social media.
individuation
“Girl dinner” is also “I’m too tired to cook”, and that’s ok. Who wants to cook after a long day? 🤷♀️ it’s ok if it’s not your thing; and yes knowing HOW to do it is one thing, but wanting to is another.
The problem is that calling it "girl dinner" is inherently infantilizing and gendered.
Thank you for mentioning that this all doesn't necessarily apply to people who have diabilities who aren't able to easily do so-called domestic activities like cooking.
As someone who has ADHD, the "girl math" and "girl dinner" memes never seemed to me to be glorifying making bad financial descisions or poor nutritional choices.
The "girl math" I always just saw as just pretty tongue-in-cheek. It also made me more self-aware of the little justifications I often make when shopping (ie, "I deserve this after not buying something yesterday" or "If I will really use this purse every day for a year or two it's worth it") while also being able to to laugh about how ridiculous it sounds in retrospect.
The "girl dinner" also just sort of reflected a lot of my struggles trying to keep everything in my life together while also somehow preparing food for me to eat...bascially some days a plate a snacks was the best I could do for myself.
I think there is a fine line between infantlization and relatability when it comes to a lot of this stuff. For sure I have a loooooong way to go and I'm in therapy to learn a lot of skills to help me manage (luckily) but...yeah...
Sometimes the comments under these kind of videos can come off a bit judgemental and self-righteous and I just wanted to write this in case anyone needs to hear it.
I agree. I just wrote a comment very similar to yours. ❤ If ppl are honest with themselves they would see that the Girl Math was actually true (and I think she meant it as a joke)…which is why I thought it was funny and alarming at the same time. We have all thought about some of her points. 😂
Thank you I feel heard ❤
girl dinner actually reminded me of an old therapist tip i read on tumblr, someone said to their therapist 'it's so hard to make a sandwich i don't have the energy' and the therapist said 'you can just eat some turkey coldcuts and sliced cheese and bread separately, you don't have to assemble them. it's the same thing.' and the person said it changed their life bc it helped them get over the mental block of "preparing" a meal. to me girl dinner has that vibe, reminding us dinner can be leftover mashed potatoes and a carton of cherry tomatoes and some yogurt or something. it lets us be free from the pressure to prepare a meal in service of giving our bodies food for energy at low mental cost.
exactly! this is also how I view both girl math and girl dinner. ultimately and especially since it's a pop culture term, I think it kind of lends itself to having different meanings.
I initially thought girl dinner was cute and funny because it reminded me of my own "depression meals" and "chronic pain meals" of frozen food and snacks - which have been a thing as long as semi-independent disabled people have been a thing. Unfortunately, everything girls like ends up being sold back to us and ridiculed. Misogyny and capitalism are the problem, and I think Ashley did a great job of explaining that here
I feel this so much lol. I'm so sick of it and I don't want to sound like a hater but "mocha lips" "blueberry nails" "cold girl makeup" like stfu lmao....
I've always hated trends akin to the aesthetics you touched upon in the video. I consider myself more crude about it by questioning, "Why do these girls want to be like everybody else?" Plus to me, being "trendy" is being basic and lame with repeats over and over to the point which contributes to brain rot...and my mind hurts thanking about it. Evidently, it obviously boils down to a person's own preferences.
the sooner we as a society rediscover the beauty of having a personal style, the better
What aesthetic is black second hand clothing, no makeup, no jewelry, constantly to late and with a bad sleeping schedule?
whatever it is that's my aesthetic too 😄
human
There was a a trend involving dark undereye circles, so that could fit 🙂
Name it yourself, own it. My variation was Natural Goth or Goth-by-default when that was my artistic period. It could be : Eco- Goth, Daytime Adams, or Clockwork Not Included. Cheers ❤
@@MeridaEllaSinnottDBurtram Daytime Adams! 😍
As someone who studied linguistics, I’m also surprised why English speakers always say girl instead of woman. I mean men and boys don’t do it. We once analyzed birth notifications in newspapers and birthday cards for newborns at uni. The ones for girls often used phrases like “our little precious” and “gift”, so you could see a linguistic reification. Whereas the cards for boys often had phrases like “our little man”, already treating them more seriously and like adults. I think stuff like aesthetics and girl-math only strengthen these things and the perception of women. :(
100% fair and true observation. I’ve noticed so as well, as a non native English speaker
I've never even used TikTok, and nor have I ever made an account. So... What type of girl do I fall into? 🙄
Same!
The original girl aestethic lol. But seriously though these trends makes no sense people just want to follow what's popular.
@vogue_paris3106
Waste of money in my opinion. Also, looking to TikTok to get financial advice is beyond stupidity at it's best. Never ever! Take financial advice from TikTok.
My mum had said once when I had my first bank account was, ask yourself,
"Do You Really Need It?" And ever since then, til now it's stuck in my head. So just ms in general 😑 I've just never been interested nor one to be swayed to buy things I don't need but thats not to say I don't spoil myself which I so haha. But feeding into this unhealthy overconsumerisum of products and bad quality fashion is seriously out of even my comfort zone. I don't really follow trends that much as they come and go.
"Like in one ear and out the other." 😁
Luddite girlie aesthetic! Lol I don’t know because I’m also a never tiktoker and very thankful to be in my mid-30s. Social media today is an exhausting hamster wheel.
When you find out let me know 🤣 I cringe when I hear ‘that reminds me of a Tik tok I saw’ or ‘did you see that tik tok’? 🥲
The main problem with these aesthetics is that they are viewed as something more like a lifestyle when they're simply a stylistic choice. You can't call yourself a "mod wife" just because you bought red lipstick and a (faux) leopard fur coat, when you have no idea what living amongst real life mafia members and gangs is like
"Your body is not a commodity... your body is priceless" ❤❤❤
I bought a lot of cottage core clothes and then I realised that summer is more like a day in my country instead of a season 😂😢
As a late 20s person who has watched these trends come and go as somebody in an alternative subculture, I've always just wondered why a lot of these people, women or otherwise, simply don't join a lot of the alt subcultures. A lot of these microtrends come from existing subcultures themselves. My parents were goths and I'm in a different feminist alternative fashion subculture myself. I just wonder why they don't find their people through an actual subculture, it's not like they're closed off. We love new people lol
dressup
Great video! I remember in 2019-2020 when "hot cheeto girl" was a thing, a lot of the time it was used negatively but some people also took pride in it. The things associated with it were big hoop earrings, long nails, big lashes, shiny lips, a certain style of dressing, and various other things found in or generally associated with Black and Latina fashion/culture. It feels like all this is just a repeat of that, except instead of insulting and making fun of how Black and Brown women express themselves, people are now eating it up and trying to force themselves into the style by rebranding it as a pleasant (white) aesthetic. Kind of like everything else in history ever.
my brain almost exploded in pain just trying to understand the reasoning the girl had with her girl math list
I want so badly to believe that clip was satire but I don't think it was ☠️
same. it just makes overconsumption and irresponsible budgeting a cute fad
i’m not a girl (used to be one), but it makes my former gender look stupid
That girl math clip made me livid I’m just hoping it’s satire, if so bravo bitch
@@sardonicprincessyoure still a girl and wont ever stop being one. You are a woman. Genders arent a real tangible thing, but sex is a biological reality. Besides, why does your handle still say "something-princess"? Arent you a prince now?
Americans watched two movies with a Russian antagonist and now think all slavic girls dress and look the same lol
I love your vocabulary and the way you summarize exactly what I feel about TikTok but don’t know how to say 😭
Wow this video was such a breath of fresh air, and the way you articulated it felt like a brain massage. Thank you for putting this out!
Her videos are always well thought out and articulate. She seems very intelligent, both emotionally and mentally.
It has always baffled me seeing girls online portray a certain aesthetic. Like girl if one day I wanna wear my sweatpants to gym other day I wanna wear my kurti to market but there are days when I wanna wear my jeans and pants for a trip to park. Don't these girls get bored on just one aesthetic/style?
I lost brain cells listening to that "Girl Math" nonsense. I hope this is just an act to get views on be on-trend and not the way they actually think, or they are doomed.
“coastal grandmother aesthetic” that is just wasp
I'm glad that I'm at the age where I just don't care about what's popular on social media. So, my advice as an older woman to the younger crowd: Wear what makes you actually feel happy and not what some rando influencer is parading around on TikTok or whatever. Your wallet will be heavier, and you might also develop yourself as your own person.
I found this video so helpful. It's so easy to get swept up in finding these aesthetics as someone in their twenties. To slowly find things we love and fill our closets and homes with stuff we love. Thrift stores, buy and sell, garage sales are great options to reduce over consumption
I needed this video after a weekend of bingeing TikTok, I know it’s not good for me and fuels my shopping addiction/my identity issues, I need to just delete the app all together but it’s so hard when it feels like everyone I know watches it and references it in my daily life…
I sometimes don't cook even though I've been cooking since 12 years old for my family of 7 (growing up). I'm TIRED of cooking after these 20 years. I just want to warm stuff up or order out after working two jobs for 10 years! 😭
The thing for me is, I appreciate the aesthetics and trying on new styles in a sense. I definitely agree with what you’re saying however for a lot of this these days is more about consumerism and copying to stay in “trend” which makes it feel a lot more hollow. Instead of people picking out things that really resonating with them and building a style out of that they jump on to a bandwagon for tik tok likes. This video definitely reminded me to examine my own style choices to remain true to self!
I really wish people would get hobbies…take up knitting, go play pickle ball, tennis or learn a new instrument. If you are bored I promise there are better ways to spend your time than playing dress up. Dress up is for children. You are an adult. Grow up.
This is mean. There's nothing wrong with playing dress up. Is anybody hurting anyone by simply "playing dress up"? Not to post, just doing it for themselves? No. So why are you making it out to be something adults shouldn't do? "Playing dress up" is a big part of fashion and for people who are into it to try new things and get creative. And I do mean for people IN the fashion industry too.
These tiktok aesthetic trends can be harmful. IF they're on tiktok and presented as aspirational/"I'm better than you". Other than that, there's nothing wrong with "playing dress up".
You should stop critizing adults for doing things that aren't harmful just because children do them too. It's rude and mean and sounds like it comes from a miserable adult that let the joy and whimsy leave them as they got older. It's really gross and messed up. People who simply "play dress up" aren't doing anything to you. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean you get to diss it and be mean about it for no reason.
Sounding pressed and bitter lmao
I love the mob wife thing bc actual mob wives are so...*gestures vaguely at the mobtok wives* ...not that.
The irony is that while watching this vid I got an ad basically saying "SOAP AND WATER ISN'T ENOUGH TO CLEAN YOUR BODY!!! BUY OUR PRODUCT!!!"
if you put “girl/girly” behind it, it’s a new aesthetic
I felt my IQ dropping with the “girl-math” explanation
The balance between 'wanting to stand out' and 'wanting to fit in and be accepted' is impossible.
I have no idea what you are talking about because I don't have social media. I'm watching this video as secondary information about what other people are spending their time with. I'm realizing that I can be very happy and thankful living this closed off. Life is a struggle sometimes but it would be a whole lot harder if I compared myself to people of my age, gender etc. I really get to be myself this way.
Try at least to delete Tiktok guys. Noting online is real
‘I don’t have social media’
- person with a RUclips channel
These social media trends have gotten out of control. At this point, I just don't associate myself to those who are easily influenced by these trends anymore. I'm a 28 year old man.
Tomato Girl and Coastal Cow Girl ? What?
People don’t even have a sense of personal style anymore. I grew up in the time before “aesthetics” took over (graduated high school in ‘09).. and seeing teens and young adults today just putting on a costume to fit a certain “branding,” changing it up every single month and buying all new costume pieces, is crazy and sad to me. Clothing and style is so much more expressive and personal. These days it’s just as cheap as the fast fashion they use to get this week’s “look.”
I disagree on the girl dinner points, yes [knowing] how to cook is a skill but a lot of girl dinners seem to either be a comment on how people cook when there is no social pressure (partner away etc) or an act of self care by letting yourself have a night off. When my husband is away I do a 'girl dinner'/adhd dinner where I mix random things on a plate that make me happy - most recently sauerkraut, german salami, raspberries and a cupcake (2 of my fruit and veg, protein, some carbs, some fat, some sugar), but not my husbands thing
Also, let’s not forget that cooking specific types of meals and calling them. Dinners is a very modern thing before that we picked a few berries had a slab of meat.
I love to cook. I have been cooking for 39 years now. I still have girl dinners often, especially in the summer. My husband and I often fend for ourselves. It's cheapers and we can both eat what we want. I made a big salisbury steak with mac and cheese dinner last night that my husband isn't a fan of. I seperated it into meal prep containers, and it's my next 3 lunches or dinners. So, he gets to fend for himself.
Glad I developed a personal style back in high school bc it’s saving me a load of money not following trends and just shopping secondhand if I need anything 💪
The funny thing is that these almost all look the same with very little variation. Same brands, same camera angled to their butt, same gimmick because so many of these girls only dress these ways for videos.
I LOVE this video. Thank you for presenting the "trends" in this realistic way, that encourages critical thinking over mindless engagement.
Thank goodness for being ugly, never fitting anywhere and stopping to care about it.
Now I just have my black closet, full plaster makeup to cover acne and a twinge of cringe while watching the desperation of younger generations to fit somewhere in sns scene by a cosplay of something branded as stupidly as it is.
It's funny sometimes to realise that clothes and make-up are for me means to disappear/not to be seen while for other, large number of ppl these are the way to be seen and feel like they belong...
Same
I was in my early 20s in the tumblr girl era and I was definitely influenced to go and buy outfits so I could look like what I saw in blogs (and I never posted myself!). This has been going on longer than tik tok, it’s just become so much faster - to engage with and to change. Realizing I’m at a point now where I haven’t ever sat down to develop my own sense of style without some trend or website telling me what to do on some level. Big oof.
I did fall down the ‘that girl’ rabbit hole because I did not know what it meant. I thought these trends were open to interpretation. It was just me being stupid. But I did fall for the that girl trend despite having been failed by the media a lot of times when it came to representation of females.
Plus, thanks to all these trends and haul culture which I didn’t know were also related to this commodification of identity thing, I have bought and hoarded things that I can never fully use up.
TikTok especially and other social media apps is really affecting our minds mentally. And teens and adults are so addicted to social media. These folks need to seek therapy asap.
What happened to style😮? The other day I saw at least 10 women that had the same outfit on. Its strange
Thank you for calling out girl math as infantilizing women! And that most trends online are minimizing women just to their physical traits ❤
13:21 watched all movies at 14 and the entire series at 17 and still was anxious af not happy delulu girl math
It's easy to view Sex & the City today in the context of the prevalent girl mathing and lack of financial responsibility, but idealizing these was not the message of the show at the time when it was made (late 90s/early 2000). The show was made during a time where women's role in society was rapidly and massively changing from being home makers to a more independent lifestyle, where women were able to, and allowed to, live and work for themselves. ... where it became more acceptable for women to have casually sex, and be liberated in that way, and spend money on themselves. The show contrasts the different stereotypes of women at the time with each other. It does not portray financial irresponsibility or overconsumption as ideals. I get it that young people who watch it nowadays may take a different message from it, but when discussing such old media, it also pays of to try and understand the social environment they were made in, and how that influenced the show.
It's also interesting for us "older" folks to see how young people nowadays perceive the same media totally differently than we did when they first came out.
I was like that's not what happened. There's even multiple times where Charlotte lectures Carrie about being more financially responsible. When Aiden breaks up with Carrie he gives her the option to buy back the apartment and Carrie begs Charlotte for the money and Charlotte tells her no that she shouldn't have spent all her money on shoes and clothes
These aesthetics have turned from fashion trends or subcultures into costume party themes.
I remember a few years ago the RUclipsr Amber Scholl did a video promoting Hellofresh where she made herself a meal and completely butchered it. And it wasn’t even like she inadvertently messed up the recipe. It was like she purposely screwed up the meal to play into her “I’m just a girl” ditzy schtick. Plus the baby voice that she always used. That was enough for me to stop watching her vids. Really wish women would stop acting like helpless damsels in distress and pick me’s and act like grown women. For
Some reason the baby persona drives engagement online and It’s not cute!!!
I never watched Sex and the city or the other shows or movies you mentioned. And now I know why... 😂
I loved the show. I took it as criticism of all the characters’ bad behaviors. It was very educational.
Well done! It can be so much fun to incorporate a bit of costume-y drama into your wardrobe. But marketing it as an identity, or adopting it without considering the cultural appropriateness, is an obnoxious trend
I’m so glad these trends have missed my side of tik tok.
Another great video and right on point! 💯 I personally don't follow these "trends" but i see a lot of people around me do! I come from Bulgaria - Eastern european country and we don't do that there. It's so strange to me. Maybe it's because we grew up in poverty and don't have that consumerism brain. When i first came into the USA 10 years ago i was blown away by the amount of stuff people buy and acquire. Even food. We usually do grocery shopping every other day or daily in small amounts for the stuff i would need for 1-2 meals, not like a two week supply. I guess it's a cultural thing. :)
I wear scrubs about 90% of the time for my job and don’t have the energy to pick out “aesthetic” outfits when I’m home or on my days off. So, I just wear what makes me feel good at that particular time and it’s usually sweatpants and a t-shirt. I also thought the “girl math” trend was a joke when it first popped up. Personally, I prefer “dog math” lol
U have a really good way of speaking and explaining!
This is for immature and shallow people. Why do we keep having to 'talk about it'. P-aesthetic.
I always love your informational videos! You say things in such a clever way that makes me think deep and open my eyes. Thank you so much for making these videos! I always get happy when you post a new video because I know it’s gonna be good. Peace. ✌️💞
As always, deep analysis and new perspective. Thank you dear Ashley ❤
All I have to say is I’m so glad I’m really not on social media anymore. I realized in 2021 I had a crippling addiction to TikTok and it was effecting my life, so I deleted. I have not used it consistently since. I also deleted instagram cause it had reels and I would doom scroll. To this day, I’m still dealing with the consequences of how social media affected my mental health andhow I perceive myself in the world, but I’m so grateful to be able to say that I don’t feel as affected by things on social media now.
Unpopular Opinion#1: I’m not on TikTok. But I don’t like to cook. And unfortunately some ppl like to shame us women who don’t like to cook or be in the kitchen. I might “glamorize” me not cooking just to prevent ppl judging me “b/c since I’m an adult I should want to cook”. People spend time doing what they like…and for me cooking is not one of them. And I’m a full adult and medical doctor. 🤷🏾♀️
Unpopular Opinion #2: I think the “sale” portion of the Girl Math is what 90% of Americans think at least one point in their lives. I mean that’s why Walmart and Target put these huge (sometimes fake) sale signs so ppl can think they’re saving money. Lol. I actually thought the post was funny and don’t think she was serious. Most of her points (if I’m honest with myself) I have thought to myself but didn’t realize it until she broke it down. lol
there's also a lot of abelism in shaming people who can't or aren't inclined to cook. disabled people (as the video acknowledges), neurodivergents (specifically people with autism and adhd), people dealing with depression, etc, often struggle with it as a task for a variety of reasons. not to mention if you live alone, a lot of recipes are designed to feed multiple people and not everyone likes dealing with leftovers (my neurodivergent self cannot stand 99% of them bc smell and texture) but they also understandably don't want to waste food. obviously it's not great to only eat junk if you have other options, but not every meal that doesn't require the actual task of cooking *is* junk, and if making simple things that requires minimal effort but still feeds you isn't hurting anything, there shouldn't be stigma and shame attached to that.
That girl math section made my head hurt. What ...how does paying...what...how...????
As a person from the potato girl community I personally feel that I have also fallen victim and have had enough of these trends. Enough is enough
Recently I have seen quite a lot of "9 to 5" videos which look all similar. They have same items, asmr, eating, and filming in the office. They are influencing+ full time job??? I want to know your opinion about these girls.
I really like your videos 👍🏻
How about a you-girl. Be you girl. Life is too short to cosplay as a character live your life the way you see fit even of you don't fit in.
So glad I dress how I like. Yes, some trends are cute, but in the end I dress for comfort and what looks good on me. Its worked for me and I'm 41. I have no energy or money to follow the nonsense that goes on.
Your comment about radical self love really made my day :)
Looking at those fur coats makes me want to go out and buy a big ol' can of red paint.
But what's truly frightening is that as long as young women are focused on their aesthetic they won't be working on the important things: Improving their own circumstances for their future, genuine injustices, and fighting for the rights that were hard won but are now being chipped away.
I’m wearing the fur coats of my grandma in the winter. They’re banging chic and super warm and always on trend, unlike polyester jackets that people buy a new one every year and toss away whilst poisoning the water and environment. If you would approach me with any kind of paint because of your short sided consciousness whilst I’m wearing one of my coats it could end deadly 🧐. It’s not like you can reanimate those animals by spreading hate. Be blessed 💫
@@av.benils.ozyurukll.m524 Wearing a coat for warmth is one thing. These women are buying and wearing them in order to get social media clout, and they'll toss them out as soon as they get tired of them.
@@av.benils.ozyurukll.m524 Wearing your grandmother's coats is very different to what these women are doing. They buy clothes for views on social media, then throw those clothes away within a few months, or whenever they decide to change their "aesthetic". It's incredibly wasteful.
@@alyzu4755 Perfect then! Sorry I got so heated 🙏🏻😅😂 Every time I wear those coats someone who pretends to be an animal lover whilst drinking water from a plastic bottle they’ll be tossing away in a few seconds comes up and feels free to lecture me. So this year with Mob Wife ‘in’ that BS stopped which I was personally grateful for.
Peace & Love 😇💝 ruclips.net/video/So8slpz9KNI/видео.htmlsi=zO92N4fw0rw30LtW 🎶💫
I love fashion, design, "aesthetics", and have a college education and a 10 year career in human rights. This idea that women can't like beautiful things and also be smart is so outdated and anti-woman.
Omg the girl math can be crazy. I get the cash thing cause I’m a server and when I just have cash it’s like it doesn’t compute in my mind that it’s actual money which is WHY I DEPOSIT IT. I make a very conscious effort to deposit my cash but I keep general track of it for work when I’m giving people change and knowing when I don’t have small bills or coins.
I think my eyes just rolled out of my head with the description of “girl math”.
Ordering out once in a while is ok, but the vast majority of restaurant food is extremely unhealthy.
I think I'm just too old for this stuff anymore, I have gone through being younger and finding myself. I'm happy with who I am, but also not afraid to try new things. I don't know if it's a gen z thing specifically. All generations have participated in trends, just now it's all online and to your point commodified.
I’m white Latina and the “clean girl” aesthetic has been really popular with all races of Latina women forever now. My mom is native Peruvian and so other than wearing more typical indigenous fashion in earrings and braids she still has “clean girl” aesthetic. So this being a trend has been blowing my mind, but now so is all the black women coming out and saying they were suffering racism for wearing what I thought was a popular and normal look. Like I’m so sorry if anyone has gotten negative comments about it that’s so sad and really bizarre.
Disagree on the Girl Dinner hate. Sometimes a meal is just whatever's ready in your house that hits the spot, and that's okay. That's normal. You don't have to cook for every meal, even if you technically have the skills to do so.
It's kind of frustrating that girls were being genuine about how they sometimes don't cook and people started mocking them for not being able to. God forbid a woman NOT cook every meal.
Why are you taking the position of victim here? The issue is with gendering a phenomenon that is literally experienced by everyone in the world who is not a passionate chef.
This is extended into self infantilisation **by women themselves**
I have an 8 year old granddaughter and I fear the influence of this crap.
All I can do is show her they way while she is young.
Omg the girl math part was hard to watch 😬 i really hope these girls were joking and dont actually believe that stuff.
Hello Ashley! Can you please do a video about the whole toxic academic valedation thing going everyhwere now. Thank you!