Husband Is Not On Board - Says He Works Too Hard To Be On A Budget
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- Опубликовано: 13 авг 2016
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Someone needs to tell him that he works too hard to NOT be on a budget!
Bingo! Works too hard to be broke all of his life!
Exactly
I think until you’ve been on a budget some people have a real negative view towards it, every time I make my monthly budget I’m comforted In knowing I’m not going to be surprised by each expense and they I’m not going to be out of money by the end of the month
my thoughts exactly
My ex was never on board. "Worked" too hard to be bothered with retirement planning and savings. Now, it's all me and life is great! Money in savings, retirement, 50% equity in my home. It's great to make financial plans!
Good on you
That's great. It's better to be single than someone's mom or dad because they are too incompetent to grow up and work with you.
Aren't you just awesome?! Great job! I'm still holding out hope that my husband will hear this and that it'll finally click to him...wish me luck!
+nrsimmons178 I tried to get him on board for 28 years! I finally had to be honest with myself. There was no convincing him. He accused me of "fuzzy math skills" and paying bills wrong! With a sad and heavy heart, I had to file for divorce.Good luck to you.
+Mental Circus Podcast Thank you!
My ex used to do that, which ment he had no responsibility for anything but he retained veto power if things went wrong! I got wise to that pretty fast!
Addicted to Ramsey!
Same here!
Same.
Mr Barnz I secretly love his grumpy days!
lol I agree with 99% of what Dave says and I also binge watch mostly its interesting to hear others situations and if nothing else its a reminder no matter how bad it gets someone else has it worse and someone else has it better...You make your own financial situation...
Same here!!
I do agree with that last point. There's a certain kind of spouse/ partner/ team member who doesn't contribute to the decision-making process, and after the decision is made holds the other person accountable. They often say "See?" "I told you so," "would have," "could have," and "should have." They think they are being supportive by saying, "do/ choose/ plan whatever you want," but they are actually pressuring others to meet their unspoken expectations and absolving themselves of responsibility.
I don't have an EX...YET! I'm hoping maybe you or someone can help...my hubby is like this also and I've put up with it for 30 years, only lately (last few years) he's used our son, now 15, as a crutch. He gives him money, buys lots of "boy toys" for him, puts a lot of money toward my sons FREE pickup and "says" he'll be getting a job to pay it back....YEAH RIGHT, I don't believe it. No 15 year old is going to take money that he's earned and payback his parents.
I'm afraid this isn't looking to good and need some good advice.
Valerie, it sounds like you have become bitter in your attitude toward your husband. I hope you can tell him directly but kindly how his actions make you feel.
Yep.
"You're a real boy now, Pinocchio." 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂🤣Waaaaaah call the waaaambulance!!! Lol
Im 21 years old live in my parents basement and plan on staying another three years. I work 50 hours a week and save as much as I can. My goal is a 50% down payment on a house. Maybe im a wuse, but I dont care.
thosethickstrings keep it going.....good for you!
I'm only 24 but I think that's awesome. It's not like youre living with them with nothing to show.
You're not a wuss if you've got a plan and it seems like you do 👍🏾 stick to it
Your situation is not what he is referring to. The wussification situation that the baby boomers are referring to is the growing population of our generation that are not working or going to school that just play video games and troll people on the Internet. Not people living at home that are working and saving or paying off debt.
Hope you at least pay your folks a little rent money!
I see so many elderly struggling to make ends meet due to not having a plan. I never want to be like that😢❤️❤️ plan now!
Waaaaaaa---call the wambulance,too funny
Best comment, wehhhhhhh 😂
Most people make money, waste their money without a budget, and then wonder why they're broke. Funny cause most people continue to do this and see no problem with it. LOL. Oh well.
Hmm.. I'm 24 years old and live with my divorced mom. I pay rent, electric bill, cable & internet bill, my cell phone, my car insurance, and for college. I don't see anything wrong with that but I know for sure I won't be living with her for the rest of my life.... Sorry mom lol
well if you are paying rent, technically she is living with you.
Nothing wrong with living with your parents. Sponging off your parents is the problem. You contribute to the household (if you're still there), so you aren't a sponge.
@@sydney45 -agreed, i live with my mom and im a woman at 30. I have been working corporate since I graduated college and the recession let up. Im able to help her age gracefully after my dad passed away, and we save money together. But now, im the one that takes care of the home. Of course I pay my own bills, car and make sure we have what we need if she needs help. So there is nothing wrong with it at all. A lot of smart people stay at home if they can.
Men are children until about age 50.
I do the budget in our house. My husband just takes his fun money and lets me deal with the rest. It works for us because he has too much to worry about with his work and I still get a budget. Win win.
Same here.
we tried that, but my husband had no sense of responsibility. so I would say we have $X that's it, he would without fail spend over. so I started making him budget with me, let him feel the stress, let him see where the family money was going etc. and wow did I see a turn around. he shared the stress with me, which actually made the stress go away because there was a clear cut understanding. we are doing great now and working on our debt snowball!
I love it whenever Dave calls the wambulance!
So it's been three years. Wonder how many times he's cheated on her.
How true is this?!! VERY TRUE. I, as my generation did could not wait until we were 18 so we could get out!!! These new "men" have very few life skills.
I make the money and the budget and hand it all to my wife. She saves me from spending all of it and implements the budget. We are both happy with the arrangement. Plus anything extra I make goes towards my spending on firearms or hunting gear.
That's what marriage should be, compromise. Utilizing each other's strengths instead of resenting the other for it. Bravo!
That's awesome! Being in a marriage/couple is team work including money.
my friend live at home till he was 30 but he work 50 k hours a week and saved over 300 K, so when he got married he just brought the house outright,
What’s wrong with being on a budget... just put as much as you want into “entertainment” ... it just shows WHERE your money is going and allows you decide exactly how you want to spend your money.
You didn’t give her advice. You told her exactly what she had already said to her husband.
I tried calling my hubby on his manhood. That knife hurts lol and I think sometimes it causes more issues. I’ve decided that approaching it with “we can still have our fun we just need to plan for it” phrase.
It took me a long while to get my husband to sit down with me and agree on a budget. I eased him into it. We set a loose budget and then I would constantly crunch numbers and let him know what we could have in the bank long term if we really cracked down. "By December 2017, we could have X amount of dollars in our savings account if we did x,y, and Z".We are actually doing a challenge this month where we don't spend any EXTRA money. It has really opened both of our eyes. It's actually kind of fun!
PurdyTime thank you for this. My husband is not interested in doing a budget and I'm trying to figure out how to help him understand the reason it would be best.
I think showing helped more than explaining. Good luck!
PurdyTime sounds like both of you aren't really married to men. no offense
Gabe Gordon doesn't sound like you are much of a man. Talking smack to two women via social media. Bravo!
PurdyTime whose talking smack. A male that needs a woman to teach him how to be a man and make proper adult decisions that is best for his family. isn't really a man. just that simple. but you made your bad decision. good luck to you training him to be able to do other adult things.
It would be nice if Dave would offer some real, good, advise for this lady's question. Instead he mocks and then goes off on a tangent. It offered no help to those of us dealing with the same problem.
He did give her great advice. He told her exactly what to do... tell her husband she needs a man as a husband. He's acting like a child.
Amen to the rant at the end!
I’m 23, I still live at home but I also work two jobs, and go to school full time. Within graduating, I want to move out within a year.
Dave is spot on, I know so many little boys & princess like that. 😂
He works too hard to NOT budget... With no plan the money will be frittered away. Also, as a sailor he may be at sea a good bit so he has to trust his wife. The no-debt part is good, though.
I like flexibility in the budget; we do need a bit of freedom.
In our house, Ruth writes the checks because that's how she understands money; I keep the books on Quicken software because that's how I understand money. And both records are available to either of us at every moment.
--Take this for whatever it's worth to you.
Husband probably resents her because she doesn't work and he spends 8 months at a time at sea and when he gets home wife complains about him spending his money
Tell him being his mom is NOT sexy!
Ramsey is going with the "Superman Look" today
Adam Bottjen I
"What are you, in Congress? I love that line! lol
I work to hard to just nickel and dime my money away. Getting on a budget as been one of the best decisions I've made. I didn't realize how much I unnecessarily spent. I was able to free up a couple hundred dollars, which I put towards my debt, and now I'm out from under the debt boulder. I still have some spots to work on. However I'm in a much better financial position, and my spending habits are much better. Not perfect but a definite improvement.
Last 4 mins of this video is on point!!
OMG! PREACH!!!
Sounds like Senator Ben Sasse's "The Vanishing American Adult"!
When the husband says the wife isn’t on board he says we need to change our approach. But when the husbands not on board they are stupid smh. Still team Dave Ramsey but let’s be fair here
often this happens when all your priorities are budgeted out and few or none of his are, and he obviously does not want to be on that budget.
I would just do the budget myself and stick with it on the things I buy. So groceries, household items, clothes, etc. Let him know your doing it and let him know how much you are saving. Maybe set s goal, “once we save x we can do this fun thing”. And then keep plugging away. Obviously try to get in the same page... maybe thing of fun ways you can save money where he won’t even realize it! Plan at home date nights rather than going out etc. I do that for my husband because I don’t want to “feel” like we’re on a budget but he’s on the same page and appreciates it..
It's funny how Dave always changes his advice based on the gender of the caller. Several videos where a husband calls about his wife not wanting to budget, it's always the husband's fault. When the wife calls, it's the husband's fault.
Undisputed I thought I was the only one who noticed that. I would dump the chick.
He goes by biblical standards and the husband is the head of the household thus hold more liable.
@@Kiki-fe2le That's exactly why religion has become poison to some people. That style of thinking has dramatically decreased people's interest in Christianity.
It's not that he is changing the advice or catering it to one gender or another. He is going by scriptural teachings regarding the husband being head of the household with the responsibility of providing for the family.
Alot of people notice from what I've seen. I notice it to and it's sickening.
The only thing that works is CONSEQUENCES. You have to do something or take something away from him if he refuses to get on board. It's JUST like disciplining a child, unfortunately. All adult humans, ESPECIALLY spouses, justify about 100% of everything that they do. NO ONE really ever thinks they are WRONG about anything ever! If he's the ONLY income earner, I honestly don't think you have enough clout to get him to do this. If not, see if he'll agree to separating your finances so he sees how well you save and how he blows EVERYTHING he makes. After a year or so, he'll be begging you for some of your savings or he'll get on board with the budgeting! NO consequences, NO CHANGE!
I have been thinking of this idea myself but not sure it will work. I've even thought of hiding $ but my gut doesn't feel right about it. I can't control, nor do I want to control my hubby of 30 yrs, I just want him to be on board with me. I KNOW for a fact we can be out of debt, I've done it. ME, only me worked a budget, played the "I'm your mommy card" and got us out of debt...then life happened and we're in the hole again, so that didn't work. This time around I want both of us to get out of debt together but can't get him to budget with me. He works to hard, blah, blah, blah & wants my son (15) to have every thing, blah, blah, blah... Grrr! I'm almost ready to give up!
If that doesn't make you throw up...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good points though
Watched this video after taking a break from Mario Kart 8 :'(
Did anyone notice how she said she tell him that they are sticking to the budget.
"You are a real boy now Pinocchio" hahaah
Like a sinking ship with one person dumping water out of the boat and an idiot putting water back in the ship. Scary when your kids are on board the ship. Future? Sorry kids... Daddy sunk it
This was my husband Anti-Budget befor he watched this video...thanks Dave
Dave where are your glasses
unbuttoned shirt too!
He's saving money!
“Call the wambulance” 😂
Nice shirt, Dave.
Wife don't want dept card on phone, for every dollar
I finally lived on my own at the age of 28.
^5 time to take ownership of our finances, and face the music!
😆 Go Dave!! Hey fellow Navy man get real and plan your future!! Dude! You wife is already on board to get it done!
Ueeeee, Ueeeee, Ueeeeee....LOL hahahahaahahhaa
If they're in their late 20s they're probably more likely to have xbox or playstation skills than nintendo skills.
Kudos, just what I was thinking
Except for the switch
I think you are right Dave, it does seem to go how you were raised in your family. I've always felt as the husband/father, it's my job to have a strong lead in making money and managing the families money That is how my dad was and in my wife's family, it seems more that the woman doesn't have much of a say in what's happening (but only he worked in that family). We try to be on the same page all the time and don't make any big decisions on our own. I'm also trying to get my wife more involved with the budgeting and understanding to pay certain bills and how money works. But as I said, I'm just LEADING. I don't want to be the dictator over here. :p
My wife says the same thing.
She feels like his mother. Lol. Mother of a 30-year old? Kick him out of the house if he wants to be a boy and act like a child instead of being a man and acting like a real husband. Blah blah blah, he works hard, blah blah blah, you work hard too, but you're going on a budget.
I handle writing everything down and finalizing it, and my wife lets me know what she wants to do. Our conversations have gone from "maybe if we get a good paycheck" to "if we can fit it in the budget." It's a much different mindset, and it feels good. Beforehand, it felt like the amount of money we had leftover after initial expenses was random. Now we know exactly what it is, and we stick to it, and sometimes, we end up with more leftover money at the end of the week/month than we thought we would have.
That logic makes no sense. You can still have very nice things and be on a budget. I don’t get myself everything I want. But if there is something I really want. I sit whatever I can aside for that item every week until I can go get it... and besides you would be suprised how often I tell myself I really want something, save for a few weeks and realize I really don’t really want the item anyway
There is a huge difference between living at home not working and/or going to school and/or paying off debt and living at home in order to party longer and not trying to get at job. Two different things. Both of them have to want to become debt free in order to be debt free. It's that simple. His manhood has nothing to do with it. Many Americans don't want to be debt free. Just because we do, not everyone believes in the Dave Ramsey method.
Beeing in the navy is not hard work!
More people living at home is more to do with people not having as many readily available jobs. Now you need an extra 4 years min. to get to the same pay you'd get some 60 years ago.
Marriage? Nope!
I don’t have enough patience for sophomoric stupidity,
whether or not I’m ever guilty of it myself.
Where are Dave's glasses?
It’s because I work hard that I ensure the money I earn is mine and not some bank’s
I don't trust anyone to do my budget except me.
I'll bet if his commander found out about his attitude.. From the branch of the military that bounces a coin off a newly tucked sheet .
When I was a new CPA fifty years ago I knew a guy who lived at home. He was moving up in the firm. Then he married. The new couple bought a house, a rather expensive one for the time. They paid cash. Sometimes living with one's parents makes sense.
as much as I am hurt with that I live in a culture where we can stay at home with our parents even when we are adults; in our household we support our parents and pay all the expenses for living there... I plan to move out in two years though but here you'll be labeled an ingrate if you don't support your parents... we don't have student loan programs so our parents pay for our college
Ron P. Yup that’s true, it seems like a burden but we have to provide for our parents.
People will always find a way to justify their bad behaviors no matter what you say Dave. You can see that in some of the comments below. "I save more money when I live with my parents", "I help my mom pay the house bills so it's fine" bla bla bla...
Dave Ramsey is awwesome I love his show cuz hes very smart and honest and knowledgeable
I think Ramsey could have done this without shaming him.
The Marines wouldn’t call this guy in the Navy a ‘man’!! 😆😆
Big DR fan, but he’d never go this far with a female if the roles were reversed. Sure he’d say she is at fault, but not like this.
Really wish he’d be completely objective regardless of gender.
He LITERALLY goes into if a woman is "daddy's little princess" during the wrap up of the call. Did you watch it until the end?
Darshani Wilson no if u see video of wife spending it the man fault an I’m women he is way nicer to us women then men
Its fine without a budget, i dont have a budget myself but i always have a surplus every month
In her case, since her husband is in the navy, just give him a nunber for each month, and tell him doesnt matter how he can make it happen but make it happen, like he gets instruction from his captain... lol... just saying
“And his only skill set is Nintendo”, hahaha that killed me
His only skillset is Nintendo :-D - sad but true...
So he is saying that he works harder than all the people in the world who stick to a budget? Somehow I doubt that.
Hmm should I move out then?
Dave is a hypocrite on this one, I remember on the video titled "wife is buying stupid stuff" you told the the caller to stop complaining, because they had no debt, it's the same case here with just the genders swapped, should the husband be saving some of his money, sure. But at the end of the day it's his money he can do whatever he wants with it as long as he doesn't get in debt.
29% of males living with their parents is also what happens when you don’t have parents who set you up for success and to be responsible then expect you to have the know-how of making it in a city like Los Angeles where cost of living is too expensive for them to afford
Nobody in the military works hard. Must be his first "job."
You either never served or you are a Nonner of some sort.
Im too sore to go to the gym today :(
Waaaaaaa---call the wambulance
Did Dave switch to contacts?
Same problem with my husband!!! I work to hard to not have anything to spend, even if I gave him some money for personal stuff.
Sounds like she already knew what was going on and just needed some affirmation.
Spent too much time trying to figure out why Dave looked older today. I finally realized that he wasn't wearing his glasses.
29% of males under 30??? does that included 0-18
Does she work , if I work hard getting shot at an my spouse not helping I think I should be able to buy something ( nothing crazy )
Lol! Wehhhhh.. call the whambulance! Soo funny! 😅😂
If the roles were reversed he wouldn't have said any of that lol
I usually agree with Dave but I can't here...I think his perspective is pretty narrow and focuses on a relatively privileged group. I mean, in many cultures, it's pretty common to live with your parents, especially if you are lower income, and as they age. I mean, I'm not saying he's talking about the same group of kids who shoot up schools when they're mad but...he might be talking about the same group.
But.... What if he's more stubborn than you???? I'm NOT THE MATH person. Yet stuck with this weight I cannot carry!!
I got my husband to agree to an amount of blow money per month. Making him say a solid number out loud made him realize how much he was taking. So when he gets paid bi-weekley, he gets half his blow money and the rest goes into the remainder of the budget.
Waiieeee waiieeee...😂😂😂😂
"Call him out on his manhood"...ouff...not sure I can agree with that one Dave...
His manhood should be called out. If you do not have vision for the future you are an adult child.
29% of males that are under 30yo are still living with their parents. Okay? Do you mean over 30?
The second question Dave should be asking here, after "How much does your husband earn?", should be "How much do you earn?" So many wives calling up complaining about their husbands spending, when they themselves aren't contributing financially to the household in any way. This is not the 1950's anymore, the days of a single provider household are over, both partners should be working. So many stay-at-home mums with huge student loan debt doing nothing with their lives, what a waste.
Doing nothing? Correction! I took care of our 3 children!! Packed him a healthy lunch every day but one year out of 42 years! And THAT was when I had an infant and full time job!! When the baby turned one he informed me I could pack his lunch again!! And I was still working full time! LoL The first time he ever carried a child to the doctor was when our youngest was a senior in High School and I had went back to work part time. When the school called I called him and told him he could deal with this emergency!! He traveled all over the world and we had no family to help us. So please not every stay at home “parent “ watches soaps all day! Plus are you aware of the cost of daycare in 2020??
@@theayegerlehner7793 It sounds like you have a fairly useless husband, he should absolutely be sharing the household load equally with you while you work
@@daneburton7953 He makes a very nice income.
Agree with u Dave..wussy dudes,thinking there cute taking defies...need to sack the eff up.
My husband and I are frugal but never sat down and wrote a budget. I handled the finances because I enjoyed it. We discussed major purchases. We retired as millionaires.
Get a job and start saving money.