CPTSD & HIGH MASKING AUTISM SERIES: 5 SIGNS YOU MAY BE AN UNDIAGNOSED AUTISTIC WOMAN | DR. KIM SAGE
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- This video is the first in a series of videos that will be sharing my education journey around the relationship between CPTSD and High Masking Autism in those assigned female at birth (afab).
**THERE IS A VERY LONG INTRO INTO THE SERIES - IF YOU JUST WANT THE 5 SIGNS- IT STARTS AROUND 15:25:)
As someone who has specialized in CPTSD, I've had a general understanding around the overlap between CPTSD and ASD, but I want to become more of an expert on the ASD side, especially understanding what it might look like for those who are high masking -- given there seems to be more and more women being late diagnosed with Autism (who may also have CPTSD but may also have been misdiagnosed additionally with diagnoses like BPD, NPD, ADHD, etc.)
For all of you who are already further along in understanding ASD, please feel free to share your thoughts and resources, and please be patient with me as I continue to share what I am learning. Feel free to educate and inform, correct and provide compassion as you see fit.
This is a personal, as well as professional journey I am on too - so I truly hope my journey and your experiences and stories, will help all of us understand our brains and lives in more meaningful ways -so we can also receive the most helpful treatments and resources.
In today's video, I list the resources I have been using, and I will continue to post additional resources as I explore them!
xo
*FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:
www.drsagehelp...
**************************
Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):
1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA
(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)
2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"
(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).
3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)
CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**
xo
***Please note! I am so sorry but my practice is full at this time and I cannot accept new patients. If you would like to be added to my waitlist, please email me at drsagehelp@gmail.com and I will email you only when a spot becomes available. I cannot guarantee a spot will open, however, so please know I care very much, but am limited at this time given my case load.
* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents (due to state licensing and insurance requirements f
![DDG & G Herbo - Nosey [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I9Ra0Zc2NlQ/mqdefault.jpg)
1.labeled as sensitive
2.easily overwhelmed by sensory
3. highly affected by the moods of others
4.experience very strong emotions
5.detail oriented
6. difficulty dealing with change
7.love to learn for the sake of learning
8. require a lot of alone time
9. get sick easily and take a long time to heal
10. dislike small talk, but can pretend
11. can hyper focus on tasks they love
it's me
I'm very interested in this topic,and the traits you mentioned yourself having, I see in myself also.
@@80ssounds80Ditto.
Haha me! xxx
Wait, is this autistic or overly sensitive? A lot of these traits are shared by empaths and conscientious people.
Thank you for sharing. I was a very shy, quiet but happy and extremely creative child. My mother was the same. She killed herself in 1988. I was two years old. I nor my family members ever got any help for dealing with the trauma until me and my sisters were adults. My first burnout was when I was in college. I got diagnosed with CPTSD. I had 8 yaers of therapy and tried every drug you can think of. I was a dentist in Finland. Continued to burn out year after year and got treated by many doctors and therapists. A few years ago I got diagnosed with ADHD. I had demanding and borderline personality disorder and continued to burn out. I had to quit my job and got a profession in the laboratory field. I burnt out. A year ago my new doctor brought up autism. Yeah, five weeks I got officially diagnosed with autism. And trauma. Not everything is due to trauma although they do lap. After fifteen years with misdiagnosis, everything makes sense now. I'm trying to drop the masks and trying to figure out the real me. I know I'm very creative and have extreme interests. With ups and downs. I accept that now. I burn out around people and it's not going to change.
I hope your video will help someone. I'm the person you are talking about.
Sorry for my grammar. I'm not very good at English.
PTSD, Anxiety, complex trauma, and depression has been impairing a lot of people around the world and mostly these are affiliated to autism and ADHD, microdosing phsyciedlics or using cbd products like cbd gummies or cbd oil has been of great help to us, I was struggling for years but now I'm more creative and productive. You see psychedelics does a lot more good than harm, it's very good for brain chemistry and I feel there’s more to it we’re yet to discover.
@@isabellabrook8932i have read an article online on how effective microdosing medicinal mushroom can be , I don't have a way to get one around me or an online store . Can you help with that please?
....On instagram. Been using his product on my 5 years old autistic daughter and it's really helping.
Wow my story is quite similar. My mother ended her life in 1987 when I was 2 years old. I still had a good childhood until I was about 10, that's when things started getting just worse and worse. I never understood why nothing worked and why I hated parties/socializing, with a few exeptions. Turns out I have autism level 1.
@@veronikaljungberg7149 Oh wow! I've always felt like I was the only one in the world who's mother has committed suicide.. Thank you for your reply. I think my mother definitely had ASD. Nobody knew that she had any kind of mental issues until she died. I think she couldn't handle the stress with us kids and work. And my dad is totally blind to other peoples emotions and needs. He most likely is also on the spectrum. Do you know what happened to your mother? Would you like to chat about this?
I had absolutely no clue. Zero. None. I never considered that I could be autistic on any level but as you described the symptoms and characteristics of a female with low level autism, there it was in big, bold, red, flashing neon lights.
I'm definitely going to follow you on this journey. 💛 Thank you.
Thank you for showing up here in authenticity… people with letters in front of their names often don’t have the humility to do what you’re doing here in this video. The purity of your heart shines through!
This was just awesome. I was diagnosed with ASD three years ago at 55. I was also diagnosed with PTSD, but I know it's C-PTSD. Likewise, I believed my mother was borderline too because she treated me, particularly, terribly. I am the family scapegoat. My diagnosis was such an eye-opener to me. I believe my mom has ASD too, but also has a personality disorder. I know she suffered horrendous abuse from her stepfather. She will never admit, or take responsibility for anything, so I am now estranged from her. One thing I suffer a lot from as an autistic person is Imposter Syndrome. It doesn't help that I suffered from a lot of invalidation growing up. I really look forward to what you find from your research. I just started following you, and this is perfect for me. Thank you for all your hard work.
I relate to this a lot ❤ you're not alone.
Yes i relate too 💚
Thank you for sharing this 👍 👍 🙏
Are you my twin sister? Lol😂
Sounds like your mother was more like full on NPD - narcissistic personality disorder.
After my adult daughter was diagnosed, I started down this rabbit hole, my thoughts were very much like yours. Happy to to take this trip with someone educated in the field.
I was diagnosed at 46 after both of my boys 23 & 9yrs old were. We are all ASD1, ADHD. I finally felt like my life made sense. I have always known I wasn’t like others around me. It’s incredibly important to get diagnosed early so you can set your life up to accommodate you. I ended up in my mid 40’s with my mental health completely breaking down to the point I couldn’t leave my house or work. I had masked for so long I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I'm so sorry you went through that, thank you so much for sharing, I'm 31 and just at the beginning of getting diagnosed
Being correctly diagnosed for anything is extremely important. For our mental and emotional health we need to understand ourselves. In understanding ourselves helps us take care of ourselves.
I can certainly relate.
I feel like I had an undiagnosed mental breakdown in my middle thirties.
My life was unlivable and I couldn't cope so I checked out emotionally.
If it wasn't for my faith and Gods help I wouldn't have made it.
Coming to accept myself the way I am has helped tremendously.
I had no family help or understanding which didn't help.
But of course I also did not share my most intense inner experiences either and didn't have the internet to help with information.
Having to support children emotionally is especially hard when you have never had that support yourself.
Similar story… It’s amazing how many of us got missed throughout life… Some of us were lucky enough to find someone who could properly diagnose even at this late stage in life.
Who do I have to see?
Wow, I just stumbled on your video. I fit every single category and self diagnosed myself many years ago with CPTSD. I'm 65 and a retired Adolescent Psych RN. My parents were both terribly abusive/neglectful , and divorced when I was 6. I've spent my life trying to figure out why I'm so different and to help others. I've never been able to hold onto friendships. My husband is even a narcissist but due to my illnesses, I've stayed with him for 32 years. Now I'm just hoping to outlive him so I can enjoy a few years alone. Sad, isn't it? It does feel good to know I'm not alone in this. I'll be following you now ❤️
Adding to my previous comment on what a unique psychologist you are, questioning DSM labels, any labels, in a constant quest to find out who you are and helping others question their mental diagnosis. Find out all that might define and explain who they are. I love how freely you share your emotions. That is courage. And your compassion.
I have always hated being labeled as
I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD this year - at age 51!
I also suffered with undiagnosed bipolar disorder until my mid thirties. I'm amazed I lived that long before accessing treatment tbh.
Its been incredible to learn about myself, regards my neurodiversity. Its like I'm getting to know 'me' finally. This, on top of trauma, left me feeling dissociated, different, odd, weird, inadequate and just 'wrong', all leading to intense self-loathing.
Unpicking what's what, symptom-wise, is not easy as there's so much overlap, but it is worth the effort to understand who I actually am, Vs who I've tried to appear to be to seem 'normal'.
That last paragraph struck me. I'm 70, just beginning to learn and understand - about to seek formal diagnosis. But who am I really? Is there any part of me that is real and acceptable?
I have ADHD and bipolar 2 and am 44 and feel these sensory issues and a desire to hole up away from people and geek out alone stronger and stronger. Like I can't pretend anymore. I can't afford an ASD diagnosis. All I know is, I relate to everything so I am just going to stop beating myself up for having meltdowns over smells, sounds, lights, noise and being unwilling to make boring polite conversation at baby showers. I've felt like a big baby/prima donna lately needing to come home and take a shower without the lights on with nothing but silence - or wearing sunglasses indoors and earplugs everywhere. I'm not going to beat myself up anymore. It's so nice to know I'm not alone.
@Susanma52 who am I fits me perfectly at 64? On top of CPTSD… I have a psychiatrist and counselor that I was lucky to get after 5+ years of looking (I moved to a different state) but CPTSD was something I was unaware of. I have known I have PTSD but this childhood stuff is mind boggling but it fits perfectly. Sadly. So now who am …
I have bipolar, ASD, ADHD - Dx Bipolar at 22, ADHD at 26, and ASD at 44. I think ADHD and Bipolar can REALLY mask ASD. I mean hypomania/mania will make you more impulsive and gregarious at times, and ADHD as well can do the same thing. For me, dropping hormones and life expectations made it impossible to ignore the ASD - it all came crumbling down. That - and learning about my dad's childhood ASD Dx and behavior for the first time.
Happy that you're making this connection. I work in autism and yes I am quite sure of significant overlaps and was thinking exactly this when I watched your video on isolation just now. Just after coming off live autism training. I went through all of this stuff by my understanding now is that the war in my parents home was created through undiagnosed autism. And likewise what looks like narcissism in my mom was also her emotional struggles with her own and my dad's autism. Which left us all traumatised.
Every time I listen to your channel, I am always in such awe by your knowledge, compassion, and open-mindedness! I feel like you're telling my life story almost every time, and it's possible I was just as excited listening to this episode as you were making it! The very first time I met my social worker, she suggested that I might be in the spectrum of autism! I am so excited to follow you on this journey! ❤
You’re doing beautiful work for the collective consciousness, thank you for taking your precious time to dive into these dark spaces of human psychology. Weather you know it or not you’re helping all of humanity just by going into these unknown areas in your own mind… sharing your findings is a bonus. Don’t stop ❤️
So glad you posted this! Being an HSP has resonated for 20+ years then came the understanding of childhood trauma and resulting neurodivergence because of both things and then lately I've been questioning whether maybe I'm even on the spectrum because I feel so different and misunderstood...I resonate with many things you described in this video! Thanks for having the courage to post!
Add to these questions what being *profoundly gifted* does to the mix. Highly traumatised, cPTSD, Autistic, neurodivergent, profoundly gifted, highly sensitive, constant positive disintegration, ‘weird’ to everyone I tried to make friends with, multiple illnesses and autoimmune disorders through my life and all my children are Autistic/ND with inter generational trauma patterns. I’ve been living like this since I can first remember and now, at 58, I’m relearning to accept that my loneliness and separation from the rest of the community is permanent and that I need to figure out a life forward that will at least nourish *me* .
I think there is a connection 💯. Trauma is a huge factor to all of this.
I'm relating with you on this video. I was diagnosed with PTSD about 6-7 years ago...but I know that it's far more involved than the original diagnosis.
I appreciate you with the understanding that you are learning as well as teaching on this subject right along with those of us who watch your videos.
I have no one person here who understands...or sees me for what I have lived these 66 years of my life.
I feel that hypervigilance is my curse! Fight or flight...fright or flight...occurs every day of my life. Fibromyalgia keeps me almost to the point of inactivity...
I look forward to your videos and will always be kind to you.
You are absolutely not alone in this. I have always felt very different my entire life, labeled an hsp, basically all the things you mentioned, etc. I used to blame so much of my "weirdness" and "quirks" on the trauma I experienced in my childhood (and there certainly was some). But at 42, I've come to discover that I am actually autistic and it explains SO MUCH about me, my life and how I relate to the world. It's super overwhelming to begin to unpack, but also ultimately incredibly freeing! Sending you love and strength as you explore this ❤
Aside from our physical appearance, watching and listening to you is like observing my reflection.
I love you 🙏❣️🕯️
I think I'm going to binge on your channel. I self-diagnosed with Asperger's at age 50. I'm 61 now. I do have a few autoimmune diseases, IBS, gluten intolerance and some form of connective tissue weakness. Also received my fair share of childhood trauma and narcissistic abuse.
I just want to say thank you for this refreshing and nuanced look at the schemas and the traits and the diagnoses. This video is a breath of fresh air.
I was diagnosed ASD Level 2 last month, and I'm a 49 year old mom of three. I was told most of my life that I was depressed, had cptsd, anxiety, bipolar and bpd. Now, I actually know what the issue is and how to care about myself the way I need. Also,remember that if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Every one of us is at a different place on a spectrum.
Please continue!!! This is changing the the culture for goodness and is going to help us to create healthier relationships , thank you so much for this content
Hello, I have just been diagnosed with Autism. I have extreme anxiety and was told my whom life I'm too sensitive I always felt different and struggled with friendship. Its given freedom to be me. I get social anxiety and triggers. People pleaser and burnout My son was diagnosed at 9 now he is 15. It's been a game changer for me to accept myself and understand myself. I have fibromyalgia. I was scared to get a diagnosis to telling judged by people. I am selective who I share my ASD diagnosis have learnt not everybody is entitled to know your private life and I choose who I share with. There is so much more education know on ASD now and it's an umbrella. Thanks for your information it was very helpful and awareness.
I have speculated that my Mom, who exhibited acute anxiety her whole life, may have been autistic. She struggled with so many aspects of life. She shut herself away from most people, she was prescribed Valium in her early 30's, then she started self medicating with alcohol and often seemed immature and emotionally fragile. I tried so hard to help her. I became her emotional support person from an early age🙏
You are researching all the questions I've been having as I'm learning that I most likely am a high masking woman with autism, PTSD, HSP, fibro, autoimmune...all of it! I have been disabled by my profound sensitivities and chronic fatigue (ME) since 2009. Had to leave my professor position and be taken care of by my family. Watching the video made me stop and think, and led me to take three autism assessments.This video was very helpful in affirming my experience. Thank you!
Hi there!
PsyD here, with an integrative and Geatalt leaning/humanistic background :-)
A couple of pieces of what I think would be extremely helpful in your search for understanding on these endlessly broad topics.
First, Diagnosis: We absolutely have to remember that diagnosis and diagnostic boundaries are 100% imposed structures, completely artificial, and massively oversimplify each individuals unique history and experience. Many of these questions you pose regarding diagnosis, with a prime example being overlap of various personality based constructs, are massively huge endeavors to undertake for any practicing clinician. I have a Gestalt background and as such am wayyy less concerned about what are soo often pathologizing labels, and keep people "boxed in" and sick. It's of paramount importance to remember this and to let go of our ego based need to label everything and have "answers" to these insignificant boundaries in labeling behavior.
Your anxiety (you called it excitement, so zero offense) isn't helping you as the answers don't exist to this loosely specified inquiry into all these various diagnoses, how they interact, overlap, etc.
Remember, these are artificial constructs with absolutely overlapping boundaries, so yes there will always be interplay. As you know, however, many have the same roots in the family of origin and trauma.
I mean zero offense and only help here, of course, and I find focusing on each individual rather than broad philosophical constructs in diagnosis, is extremely grounding. Many of the questions your posing depend on each individual, rather than an answer without a specific case. As we say, it always depends on the individual. We don't need every answer.
What helps our clients without exception is seeking understanding in a space of unconditional positive regard. Research has shown repeatedly that this is what we, as Therapists would seek for ourselves, which says everything.
Blessings in all your wonderful work 🙏
Thank you for this, I would love to see a psychologist but most of us cannot afford it. Thank you for offering this free content to help so many, you are doing so much good at a time when insurance negates so many of us from the help we need. I've been too scared to acknowledge how my brain functions and you are helping so many navigate our brains who would never seek out this help through modern healthcare.
I have three kids, two are autistic. Every single one of those symptoms is what I have been trying to talk to my psych prescriber about! My allergist doesn't understand my problems getting shots and won't help. Trauma in my past, for 55 years. Always called "overly sensitive". I have been in therapy on and off since age 7 for crippling an with and depression. I cannot handle meeting people, or being with more than one person. Depending on the person, I just need to be alone. Sensory sensitive. Colors hurt. Migraines, life-changing allergies, and arthritis. Constant pain. I could go on. Even the ADD and hyperfocus. Art/sewing/crochet are passions. I worked as a phlebotomist, studied to be a psychologist but it was too intense. Used to always have three books going at once. Over-acheiver and perfectionist. Always exhausted, used to hold my hand over my face so people would leave me alone, and moving my feet or rocking, to this very minute! HELP!!!
Thank you so much for posting this. I recently finished Unmasking Autism, at the recommendation of my sister, and I’m seriously thinking about how much it sounds like me. I’m 52 and have struggled all my life. I’ll be following you for more content. I feel less lost with this post. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear about your father or caregiver who chose not to be here. The amount of innwork you’ve done amazes me. As the saying goes, the seeker shall find ❤
Dr Kim Sage I hope you got some of the answers you were looking for since making these videos. I appreciate you sharing your story. Prayers and healing.
You are so authentic. Thank you for helping women like us.
At first, my hypothesis was that I was "Asperger" then I said to myself well, my symptoms correlates highly with CPTSD. (I'm trained in psychology btw but I don't practice mainly because I'm finally trying to figure myself out) One does not negates the other (I'm not implying you said or suggested that, I'm just with my train of thought here) so it could be a little of both and it's always easy to determine if the egg or the chicken came first but of course it is a very interesting discourse. I do not deny that I had eczema from my teenager years and finally had chronic fatigue. The worst part of all of this picture is that I had codependency issues for so many years, it got me a hardened steel brick wall to finally snap out of it. Thank you.
Firstly, thank you. Nerding out and being yourself, was comforting..
I was diagnosed autistic level one, at around 42 (now almost 46). Before that, military diagnosed personality disorder (sensory issues were laughed at). As a teen, wish I could find that counselor, but don't know what she diagnosed me with.. was in family counseling ordered by police dept after physical beating..
Oh and forgot, was diagnosed with cptsd and PTSD, before autism diagnosis also.. suffered all my life with major anxiety, depression and learning issues.. never was good with interpersonal relationships..
I'd love to follow this journey to learn more.. struggling to understand myself.. thanks
O.jo
I feel that you are a very authentic person.
I'm just at the point where I haven't heard what you're about to say, and I already know what you're going to say. You're going to say, what if we all have some degree of autism.
I paused the video so I could comment to it. I have been thinking this for the last year or so and more & more taking a little time to read up on autism and learn more. So I am very happy that I came upon you.
I have subscribed and I'm very interested in what you discover. Thank you. 💜🌺
Wow ! Nailed so many factors I’ve struggled with ! Very interesting and grateful for u sharing 💖
Yep! So, so me, even more since menopause. I'm not going crazy or developping early on set Alzheimer. Thank you so very much for sharing all that you share. I don't feel so alone anymore.
YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF IN MANY WAYS.
I tick every one of these boxes and I have CPTSD. I've often felt out of place and misunderstood. I've been told over and over growing up that I am too sensitive. I have been painting and drawing my entire life which has always come easy to me. All 3 of my grandchildren are on the spectrum and I believe all of my children are too. I love animals almost more than I love people(not including my children and grandchildren of course) which I've learned is typical of autistic girls/women. My life has been a series of struggles due to traumatic events in childhood and adulthood.
I’m with you. I have all those symptoms. I think being on the spectrum (hsp) you’re more susceptible to being easily traumatized. People on the spectrum are more vulnerable to being abused.
It shows up as ME. I am the person you describe in this video. And I am stalled in my cptsd therapy due to the autism. I was diagnosed in 2020-2021 at age 51.
You are a brave and wonderful soul. Thank you for doing so much research for everyone. A lot of it makes a lot of sense.
Please edit this video so I can follow it better. Thanks so much for your wonderful enthusiasm for learning in this fascinating subject. I can’t wait to see what you discover.
Please keep sharing! This really hits home for me. I’m not sure if I have ADHD or AuHD but I definitely have at least one and I’m sure my mom does too.
Thank you for taking us along on your personal inquiry. And letting us know there isn’t very much information about ASD and it’s relationship to Trauma. I look forward to hearing more from you. Ling video, but so important four me to hear and know that I am not alone. I’m 61 with a childhood of alcoholic father. I’m learning about the effects of alcoholism on the family. That created traumatic experiences. But as my 2 adult kids are being diagnosed with autism, and I look at my own possible diagnosis, I keep wondering. Is it autism? Or trauma? And what I’m hearing from you is they are both very similar. Could be both. Looking forward to learning more. I am also grateful to have a therapist with experience with autism and parents of autistics and adults being diagnosed later in life. Live the connection to the physical conditions as well. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and after doing some research decided that mine was caused by stress. And now it aligns with what you are talking about. So much to say on this topic. I expect you will write the first book on this topic. Please!
Wow, I heard this & thought that I could have made a very similar video about how life feels. I had a traumatic childhood & I highly suspect that I also have autism since both of my kids have it.
I'm really looking forward to this series! I tried looking into female autism but there's really not much out there. I've found a couple of helpful RUclips channels but that's it.
I can so relate. It is in my family. Psychiatrist says i am not. But it explains everything..
I resonate with all the symptoms. I have a grandson that's on the spectrum. I'm 50, struggling with academics through high school but recently took a test and I have an IQ of 127
I am very specific on things that I like or want. My kids have to take care of me because I have become more and more handicapped the older I get. And they've taken to calling me a princess with my princess needs. It is very insulting and I keep trying to tell them not to do that. I keep trying to explain that in nursing homes, caretakers should try and cater to the sensitivities that each individual patient has. And cutting them down by calling them a princess was princess needs I don't feel is kind. I thought that everybody had their own set of sensitive needs. Now I'm beginning to wonder. And I really hate that autism is becoming an explanation for everything that I have including all the things that I used to think were traits I should be proud of. And now I'm learning that it's just a trait that I have because I'm mentally ill.
I thought my extreme interest in psychology and being able to figure things out years before psychologists have, was a trait that I have because maybe I'm smarter than the average Joe. Maybe I have a brain that works better. Then I'm watching these videos and finding out that NO. As my kids would call it, I just have a tard card. It's not because I'm smarter, it's because I'm mentally disabled. 🙁
When I draw art I am extremely precise. Such as when a lot of people do art and they draw a person, they use wide strokes and the end result is not exactly like what the person looks like but you can see certain traits in it that say hey yeah it's this person. But I draw each person millimeter by millimeter so that I get every last tiny part of them to perfection. I was very proud of this trait of mine. But I could only copy what I saw. I thought it was just a different area of being artistic. I can only copy exactly what I see but I'm very good at it. Then come to find out that it's autistic people who can only copy what they see. People who aren't autistic can come up with things from their mind and copy what they see. 😐. Oh. So it's not another area of art or being artistic, again I win a tard card award. 😥. This learning about autism is teaching me that the things that I thought were special about me are just because of a mental disability. It's taking away all of my pride. 😥
hey glad you shared. this is important and relevant information for so many and a discussion that needs to be had.
Nails on a chalkboard is the best possible way to describe how I feel
I think that women with ASD (like myself) are high risk for abuse and trauma because we lack the ability to read the social cues that others see so clearly. So that we are unable to recognize a dangerous person who sees us as an easy target or a situation that we have been manipulated into. I wonder if there are others that can identify with this.
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in adolescence. As a result, I didn't experience normal childhood. I was severely sheltered in some ways, but faced managing the illness, pain, and possibly death at the same time. People always thought I was weird because of that. But I also fit the majority of these categories as well...
I'm not formally diagnosed but we are aware that I have severe ADHD mild ASD but from what I've read, I also show symptoms of "girl's Asperger's". Executive function disorder and OCD cptsd being a Huge issue for me. The latter 2 I was diagnosed with as a young teen and then an older teen and then again in my mid 20's as a mum.
Ive had sensory and sleep disorders All of my life. Eczema, food intolerances, panic disorder, severe anxiety...
Also all 4 of my kids are on the spectrum, 3 of them with ADHD/ASD one has PDA too.
One child has high functioning Asperger's with no ADHD.
I was also physically mentally emotionally sexually abused also neglected as a child from toddlerhood mainly from close family member's but also strangers and friends of the family/carers. Then Ive been in numerous relationships with DV.
Both of my brothers are on the spectrum, one with ADHD and the other with both severe ADHD and Asperger's.
In my mid 20's after my first 2 children & I was a single mum, I was accused of neglecting my autistic children because I was "gentle parenting" as opposed to being structured and strict- but also burnt out as I had No support, no one understood me, and my own mother judged me harshly and played a main role in having my kids taken away by DcJs. She was then their foster carer and did not cope, but they gave her plenty of supports- They tried to say I was bi polar and schizophrenic but I knew I wasn't any of that.
Long story short after 5 years of fighting the system to regain custody of my 2 little kids who were deeply traumatized by what these adults around us did when they took them, in order to even be allowed to have access to them, I'd been sent to see 3 psychiatrists and numerous psychologists who All said I was "sane" wrote extensive reports nack to DcJs, that infact the people around me, most especially the "authorities" were assholes and had done the wrong thing! As I'd been the one to reach out to them and ask for help first, which I was denied, then the criticism and judgements began. Those that I'd turned to for help had just caused a world of trauma to my children who were later given a trauma package $$ for having been taken from me, as if this would fix their mental health- my daughter who was only 2 yrs old at that time and still BF, was not allowed to be weened, but abruptly cut off. She then went through horrendous stress response and had physical health issues afterwards, she has cptsd severe anxiety and severe mental health concerns due to internalizing abandonment traumas. She also experienced mental emotional physical and sexual abuse while in foster care. And I am Still traumatized by it all 15 yrs later.
I've since had 2 other children and have had to push back to stop authority from trying to insert themselves.
I'm still a single mum of 4, I homeschool the 3 youngest, I manage all of their mental health with therapists assisting, I'm burnt out All of the time !! I study when I can, I'm highly creative and highly sensitive and gaining more confidence and self awareness in my abilities to take charge, knowing how to put up boundaries against So Many.
After being awarded custody of my 2 eldest children after 5 years jumping through all of their hoops stuck in a cycle of courts etc, I set the precedent for other families in my state to have their children given back to their birth parent's. The state changed their entire structure. The case worker that took my kids was made leave her career role, she later became a therapist.
My mother was severely reprimanded for her behaviour.
These people who work in places of authority have not been adequately trained and have little to no comprehension of the types of trauma they themselves are inflicting upon families (mother's in particular)
I'm disgusted with the way women/mother's are treated, especially the one's that are "different".
I used to be more of a socialite, but I found I was always stressed out from "people pleasing" and masking. Now I isolate and am very picky/selective who and when I socialize with.
Under the Myers Briggs personality test I identify as an INFJa.
Under the Human Design I identify as a Projector spleen 1-3. There are other's eg. enneagram 4-5 etc
I try to figure out who I am via alternative psychology.
I've studied numerous things such as sandplay therapy and Holistic Human development to name a few.
Thank you for being a voice for others through sharing your own wisdom and experience with us.
🌹
I resonate a lot.. I mean a lot with autistic traits.. my daughter got diagnosed at 9. Always knew with the stemminng behaviors.. docs did not take me seriously. Hard part is getting the courge to be diagnosed.
I'm much older, and was given social anti-social/ and ptsd. Many things you've said is my norm. My kid says I so ADHD... very interesting.
Thank you.
I was very sickly as a child: ear infections, tonsillitis, etc., childhood trauma, allergies, and all that.
I love all those: especially science and ceramics. I tried out for a play at my church but I froze; I didn't get the part but as an adult, I'm getting better.
I brought up this topic, and she was like "You dont have that... yada yada" so I was mad, frustrated the whole day because she never wants or wanted to get me help.
I think complex trauma changes the way we sense the world. I think some of the autistic sensitivity l, hyper vigilance is traumatic “like”changes before birth.
Thank you for what you do and who you are!! Please go on!!
Wow, lots to think about there and shockingly familiar! Very interesting…. Thanks for posting this information bless you G
We have many parallels. Thank you, and please, more follow up in ref to this subject.
I have diagnosed ptsd with sub-clinical autistic traits. I have 1 son with diagnosed autism and 1 son with diagnosed aspergers
Just to blow your mind even more - start researching the link between neglect in early childhood and autism diagnosis later in life.
I'm going down a similar path with Autism & ADHD. I have discovered correlations between Autism Burnout and MCS and it all makes sense. If you would like to have a conversation sometime, I would be so happy to exchange knowledge!
this. This. THIS THIS THIS, is...
********EVERYTHING!!!********
😳 on the 5th one...just blew my mind
what really sad is, when your parents didn't know anything about mental disorder because they don't want know about it or didn't believe of mental disorder :)
Omg I made my comment below BEFORE I got to the part of your video in which you mentioned Asperger's! lol And wow - you and I could be the same person.
I started wondering if I'm autistic after coming across some talks by Sarah Hendrickx on RUclips. She's a late diagnosed autistic woman herself and a phenomenal speaker on the topic.
Alot of this describes an INFJ. I'm INFJ-T. I have trauma such as C-PTSD. I have an autistic child. I feel like It's all connected! What am I!?!? I think I'm also autistic but never seeked diagnosis. I would love answers 🥹
Thank you so much. I think you are very brave doing this. ❤
Look up Dori Zener MSW in Toronto. Autism in girls and women expert. Speaks at conferences in NA. Helped me with my daughter.
I have wondered this for so long. I question- “Do I have autistic symptoms because I was traumatized or was I traumatized because I am autistic?” I have done a lot of research and was going to undergo testing but it is very costly, and was afraid of being misdiagnosed. Yes, please do more videos on this.
I believe both things could be true in a way, trauma can make things worse and people with even the lowest of autism symptoms can be taken advantage of by people who can basically sniff it out or react to certain symptoms with abuse or manipulation. It's so very complicated, but really both things can be true, I suggest therapy for the trauma especially and doing what you can for managing your autism until you can find someone who can help you with both or figure out if you really want to be formally diagnosed (not everyone does, but still want resources). Good luck with everything
People are born autistic, it’s genetically inherited. Trauma makes it worse. I don’t know if trauma can make you more autistic, but it’s an interesting question.
TOTALLY..me too
I figured out that I had Asperger’s syndrome.
My mother was a geriatric mother when she gave birth to me. She was 37, getting ready to turn 38.
I’m an only child.
I have had problems connecting with my peers.
I have always been around people that are older than me.
My last three long term relationships, the men have been 10-11 years older than me.
This also explains all of my muscle, joint and back problems.
I just turned 29.
I would love to know what an actual body of that age feels like.
I tried explaining my aches and pains when I was a teenager. I was just told that they were growing pains.
Growing pains should eventually go away right?
“You’re too young to have pain.”
Okay, well I still have it.
Am I too young still?!
I second this comment 👍👍
I stopped trying to fit in long ago but it still hurts that I don't seem to fit in anywhere! I am happiest and most comfortable at home and always feel alien outside of that. This was a bullseye for me, I've never considered hf autism, only instead identified with hsp, anxiety, easily depressed, easily triggered, etc. This might be the start of a deeper understanding and acceptance of my strange self. Thank you 💙
You're not alone! Know that you are not alone! A bunch of us are struggling with this
I really relate to your comment @jrbracy
What you wrote feels like it came from my own mind. This is exactly how I am too. I have been considered different and ‘difficult’ since I was born. I never considered hf autism but I have all 5 traits in abundance. It helps to know I am not alone even though it has taken me over 60 years to find this. Good luck in your journey towards understanding and acceptance
I'm learning more compassion for myself and others.❤
@@brianwicks7015 same with me but better late than never.....people always tried to make me feel BAD about being different ..I can't tell you how much extreme abuse I have endured.....SMH.....not sure how I made it this far......
I've been working with Autistic people professionally for over 25 years without figuring out that I'm Autistic. We give the DSM a lot criticism and rightly so but the change in the way we approach autisim has directly allowed me and many others to access the adult autism community. Welcome to the community! Thank you for your vulnerability, I connect to your journey.
Also I feel like the most female autistic part of the video is the constant apologizing for being excited about a new hyperfixation.
Hello all of you beautiful humans--I am deeply moved and inspired by all of you in this comment section, and what you are sharing here with all of us. I keep reading your stories and honestly, it's been overwhelming. This is by far the scariest video I have ever posted, especially when you consider that before the last 3 years when I started here, I had never posted anything really online about myself or my family...nothing personal.
I love you all so much, I really do -- it makes me quite emotional....thank you for being you, and I am sorry for all the pain and suffering your own lives have held...you are not alone, and it was never your fault. You and I were just wounded children, and then we were often just wounded children inside adult bodies seeking love and healing--- and in some places we received it, and in others we were traumatized again. I look forward to learning and sharing more together...I am reading and researching up a storm, and trying to map out how to share more! ♥🙏❤
I haven't watched a video that made me *think* so much in a long time. I never could endure having a boss (hello HSP), so I became a consultant in my early 20s. I was always good at my work (proposal writing) but finding the focus to do hours and hours of paid work was always a challenge. Being diagnosed with ADHD over a decade ago, in my late 30s, was life changing. Getting access to medication in my 40s led to my life slowly stabilizing to the point where I now, in my early 50s, no longer live in poverty. I'm also now able to pick and choose clients whose work I care about so deeply that getting focused is more natural for me.
A double-diagnosed friend (ADHD/ASD) recently suggested that, given the 60% overlap between ADHD and ASD, I was more likely than not to have ASD. Your video made me think about what I might be masking. For sure I masked my lack of attention span through elementary and secondary school, college, and graduate school. I was labeled gifted; my BPD parents expected me to deliver on that and dismissed my struggles. Being unable to deliver on people's expectations has been a cause of meltdowns, for me. However, ADHD doesn't seem to be the cause of things that make me feel alien, like disassociating at live shows and getting overstimulated in general in busy environments. I also find allosexuality alienating and wonder if my demi-sexuality is simply a part of HSP.
Therapy has taught me to recognize my triggers and acknowledge my feelings while regulating my emotions. The fact that this practice has become a special interest of mine does not escape me, in the context of your video. I also have special interests in conflict resolution and pursuing the mental state of inspiration. I'm highly artistic and a solver of complex problems. I see the blueprint of "solution universes" very clearly in my head (this is why I write proposals).
My therapist has suggested that being hyper-analytical is a coping mechanism of people who are highly emotionally sensitive. There's a link there to hyper-preparedness / following mental contingency threads in the wake of trauma. There is, surely, also a link somewhere between that overfizzing of the left brain and the deep hunger for right brain activity.
The older I get, and the better I get to know myself, the less patience I have with people who do not listen and with the feeling of being unseen/unheard. This has led to having much better and closer friends than when I was younger -- and just as you describe, I arrange to see them almost exclusively one-on-one. I'm living alone for the first time in my life (because my finances finally allow it) and it charges my batteries so hard.
So yes, a lot of what you described in your video resonated with me. I hope to hear more from you about high-masking ASD in women. There are so many insightful comments on this video, too, that it would be interesting to hear your review of them. Looking forward to the next:)
❤ God bless you dear
This and your other video about cptsd/autism touches on how many women get misdiagnosed as bpd. I hope you can research that specifically and make a video. I am both realizing things and getting more confused. I think I have autism and adhd, ( sure I can be wrong but it would explain so much) or had, but after a life of difficulties have developed c-ptsd or bpd. I am so good at masking I cant stop doing it, but it drains me. I have been diagnosed as unspecified personality disorder. They cant say what is what. Im both to good at masking, to good at talking and to broken to get a diagnosis, yet feel the PS diagnosis doesnt help me at all.
Yoú are brave and inspire me. All coming together for me this last month. Cannot tell you how validated and supported by these vids. Sure not getting it anywhere else. Thank you Doc.
💝
Was diagnosed as “high functioning “ autistic at 60 yrs old. A year later, still confused. Sensory triggers get me and always have. Sickly childhood and a Mom that was always afraid I would die. Never fit in anywhere, no one understands and depression sets in. Panic disorder, IBS, Esophageal Dysphasia. My coping is art, my Service Dog, gardening, and I’m a crazy chicken lady. Life is interesting.
it may be more likely you are Aspergers spectrum and nit autistic. they really are different despite the horrible DSM conflation
@@HomeFromFarAway was diagnosed by psychologist that specializes with patients on the Spectrum.
@@HomeFromFarAwayAsperger’s is part of the autism spectrum, the very high functioning part. In the US we suffer because now, psychologists aren’t allowed to diagnose Asperger’s; they must diagnose ASD. Many of us in this situation (I’m 67 and got tested about 4 yrs ago), are being given the diagnosis of NVLD - like comedian Chris Rock - because of this change in the diagnostic criteria. But NVLD is not in the diagnostic manual yet, so we have a developmental disorder but aren’t able to get services w an NVLD dx. It’s a mess. My diagnostician even told me she’d give me the Asperger’s dx, but she can’t at this time. In the US.
Wow. We have so much in common down to the chickens and gardens and dogs (oh my).
I don't know that I am autistic but I seem to like to hang around with people who are like that.
Wouldn't it be nice if you had a group of people who would like to talk about interesting things and share knowledge?
I asked a group of friends how much they would pay to see a documentary and they asked if alcohol was going to be involved. Otherwise, they said they wouldn't be interested.
I don't drink but don't care if you do although I do partake of cannabis but not to where I am completely out of it. 😊
But trying to find like-minded people at 64 is very tough especially, the smarter crowd.
Thank you! I'm a black woman from the UK. I'm 41 and my diagnosis for over 20 years have always been anxiety, OCD and depression. This week my therapist asked me some key questions about my sensitivities as a child. After my answers, she said that it was autism 101! Mindblown!
icykalmc,
We are in this together!
I have seen several psychologist over the years, I'm almost 70.
NOT ONE suggested I might be autistic.
My problems were blamed on past child abuse and depression.
You have my sympathy.
Autism studies in the U.S. are decades behind the U.K. I hope you get some good help.
Me too...about to turn 50 and in the U.S.
How did you get a therapist, NHS or private?
what happens after diagnosis?
@@Little_Sidheuk here. Usually private. NHS is for in patient only and what there is for GP referrals is limited to CBT only , if you can wait. The nhs list can be long depending on where you live. Go to the bacp - British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists ( UK only) for local therapists near to you.
Friend, you are talking about me. I am finally getting diagnoses at nearly 65 years old that are making my entire life make sense. This is incredibly valuable material, and I'm really looking forward to more!
And the list of five things....reads like my list of my medical and psych diagnoses from the time I was little. I have every. Single. One. Incredibly validating!
Same here! So happy to see this. Age 69
I have ALL of these symptoms. I love that you're doing a deep dive into this topic. I can so relate to every single thing you talked about. Thank you so much for all of your work. This is so validating!
Same ... 66. I've been seeing some professional, reading on my own, questioning, wondering, and agonizing over all the mentioned....since I was 18. Thanks for the video.
This is me to - 65, always knew I didn't fit in with my 6 siblings and with growing up. Physical and mental torture all my life I just thought I couldn't cope and I was losing my mind. Good to know I'm not. Here's to our healing. 🥰🤗
This is an amazing conversation. I have always felt different and acted differently from “regular” people. I have a few symptoms from HSP and Autism. I experience a few odd triggers, highly intuitive, able to read others and am affected by it, Difficulty moving to self regulation when upset, high anxiety but I control it and mask in general, difficulty with all relationships, I also have a non verbal leaning disorder. I also have a masters degree and am an LMFT. Also an amateur watercolor artist. No one believes I have a LD as I mask all of my symptoms really well but internalize them and feel terrible about myself. I’m very healthy but don’t sleep well at all. Maybe we here could serve as a study group? Thank you for addressing this issue!!
Oh you sound beauuutiful ✨
That’s a mighty broad claim @4310freeandfabulous. What is your evidence that you are so different from other people? Your feelings are not evidence. I see a million people on here claiming the same thing as you. The SAME thing.
@@elsagrace3893 Why would anyone need evidence when expressing a feeling? Maybe people following dr Sage´s channel, commenting on here, claiming their struggles, actually are different from "other people"? Or at least feel different from other people? Maybe "other people" share the same struggle, then wouldn´t it be nice if we start reflecting on it? If we felt like we fit in, maybe we would watch a movie or have a barbecue with our neighbours instead of spending time on this channel? 🌸💮🏵
@Lorraine Eggson Are you seriously stating someone need present YOU evidence ? On their emotional state of existence? Evidence that they feel different?
Well, you aren't entitled to this so called proof.
Should you ever need evidence of narcassistic behaviors, you have my permission to use my response as evidence. I think YOU are different yet you sound JUST LIKE so many other incompassionate, socially awkward entities who have such a sense of entitlement that us "normal" people are actually embarrassed FOR you.
Your comment is so cringy that I'm going to chalk it up to the great possibility that I am trying to reason with a bot as humans do not require evidence of emotional intelligence.
@@25718 well said
This video is exactly what I was looking for. I’ve just turned 42 and it has been a HARD road to this point. Over the last few years I’ve diagnosed myself with C-PTSD, ADHD, and now I’ve self-referred for ASD. The first two have already been confirmed and I started medication for ADHD earlier this year but there are still questions. It’s so exhausting having to do all this work alone without - and often in spite of medical professionals’ support so being able to access others who are going through the same thing is such a great comfort and help. Thank you for doing this in the way you’re doing it xxx
YES! We basically have to research for ourselves what is going on for us - it's almost as if the medical professionals don't really care about anything except the pharmaceutical profit margin! (extremely sarcastic tone) Well done to you, and all of us that are working it out for ourselves. I tried many times through the years to get help, all of them just said I was anxious or hormonal, I had pre-menstral dysphoria too. One doctor said, after I explained that I get super self conscious around people, 'well it's very egotistical to think it's all about you'. That messed me up for years. I learnt there was no help from them! We know who our people are now x Much love and empathy x
Thankyou so much for your work and openness, I am 52 and became aware of cptsd a few years ago it was a huge relief to read about symptoms that I believed were brought on by myself I have been so overwhelmed for so long and anxious I think I have masked for so long. I am exhausted I find social interactions exhausting. I am constantly hyper vigilant for danger. I feel very alone I dont wish to be alone but I struggle with being with people.
My body has stored so much tension in my back and hips especially its so good to realize that I am not just weird and lazy
Thank You from my heart❤
69 yrs old and diagnosed with ASD. High anxiety. Chronic life abuse. Thank you for addressing these issues!!!
I hear you 🙏🏼 I have been taking CBD oil from my GP and my anxiety is no longer controlling my life ❤️
You are a very sweet person. I’m 50 and I completely relate to HSP, ADD and autism spectrum disorder symptoms. I’m not worried with getting a formal diagnosis. The most important thing for me is to be more aware and to be able to accept myself as I am and stop judging myself so much and trying excessively to fit in. Thank you so much❤
I'm the same - although I'm only 21. I'm not sure whether a diagnosis would help me or not (in a workplace it's usually a "disadvantage" to have a diagnosis, that's why I'm hesitant about getting one), but I'm sure it wouldn't change people's opinion about me, or their behaviour towards me. I'm afraid people wouldn't care about my diagnosis, they still wouldn't understand/accept me - and the ones that already understand and accept me would still love me regardless of a diagnosis.
So I decided not to get a diagnosis, and I try to become more mindful instead. My family is full of social people that like hugs, kisses on the cheeks, to speak loudly, etc. (these things really drain me), and I don't think they would change if I told them that I have a diagnosis and I hate hugs, kisses, babel of voices, phone calls, loud music, and big crowds... It's a great thing that I still have loved ones, but I often feel like I just "tolerate" them instead of truly loving them.😅 I usually feel a lot of shame because hugs and kisses on the cheeks, that's how they show their love. And I just tolerate their love instead of being happy because of it.
As I get older, it also gets harder and harder to understand the behaviour of girls/women. In the past a lot of my friendships with girls ended with a fight (I didn't understand them fully) , so I'm actually quite anxious about making friends with girls/women. Although I like being alone, it's sometimes lonely without friends who actually get me - whether I really have autism, or am just a little weird.
But I figured it's a me problem. So I just try to set boundaries and do a lot of self care in order to not get drained so often. And mindfulness practice to understand myself better.
Sorry for the long comment, I just resonated with yours.😅
Gosh you said what I'm feeling too. It will get better.
@ingridfischer3432 I suggest that you do not choose to live your life without a diagnosis or treatment. Fifty years ago, I was advised not to seek treatment. /end
@@johnjohnson5028 .but what treatment is really an option? And why is the diagnosis that important? Thank you (am asking as I am wondering about a close personal relationships have with someone i suspect is on the spectrum but he is in denial aged 54)
I never even really knew what autism was until my son was diagnosed. When I started my research about autism, I realized how much of it resonated with me and my life. I’m autistic…not diagnosed by a dr but I just know I am…it makes so much sense now.
OMG, I am overjoyed to have found you! I've spent the last three hours on New Year's Day binge watching your videos. Everything you have said here is "me"
-HSP (back in the 50s being "sensitive" was not tolerated at all)
-Significant childhood emotional/sexual abuse
-I was a "cutter" as a child
-Mother was also sexually abused in childhood and was off the rails. Angry, abusive. My Dad was my rock.
-Myers Briggs: INFJ (Heyoka)
-CPTSD diagnosis
-Highly intuitive; I am an alternative intuitive healing practitioner
-EVERY WEIRD SOUND drives me crazy, very strong emotions, and highly attuned to others' energies
-In & out of therapy all through the 70's & 80's. Then I called a halt and learned to start loving and accepting myself. Lifetime endeavor. Now I am Zena Warrior Goddess...
Everything you have shared in all of the videos I've watched today are me. Lots of tears of gratitude. I'm 65 now and what a great gift to start the New Year, knowing that I've discovered and integrated a huge part of myself ! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! ~Myrrh
@MyrrhdeMarmion I 100% relate to so much that you have said here! Thank you! 😊
You are me.
I’m a psychotherapist in Texas. I’ve been sickly my whole life. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease 8 years ago, and I’m pretty sure I’m level 1 autistic.
I was so pleased that you shared about your daily struggles, because most therapists don’t share publicly like that. I don’t! I am afraid that my clients will see me as “broken“ and if they can’t trust me, how can I help them?
The fact is that I have done more healing work than anybody I know. I am stable despite extensive CPTSD and other chaotic life challenges. I have been able to set my life up so I can function with my illness and my personality. I’m very high functioning.
But underneath it all, there are days that I just don’t fucking feel good. (I don’t have any negative self talk anymore… all those neurotic unhealthy behaviors have been healed long ago. I still do personal work every day on communication, self-care, any triggers that might come up… Etc. ) But sometimes I just struggle with my body! Sometimes I struggle with being alone without a partner to help me. I don’t have a safe place to share this.
Does anyone know of any support groups for high functioning, highly self-aware people who had a CPTSD past, highly sensitive, are probably on the autism spectrum, and who struggle with masking?
Any help would be appreciated!
Love, Paige
@@nankarl2512 I’m down!
It’s nice to connect with someone so similar to myself. How do you manage your client schedule? I’ve just taken 2 weeks off for treatment for Lyme disease, and I’m terrified to go back on Monday. These are the things it’s hard to talk about with other folks because no one understands.
Where do you live?
I like @momonthespectrum (Taylor Heaton) on RUclips. She is helpful and directs people to a community where they can share the autistic experience.
I loved this video! I love that you share the real you here. The real you is awesome! ❤
Following this thread. I left Facebook with my last burnout. I am an ex-BCBA with a doctorate who is now medically retired due to many of the autoimmune issues you described and more. My EMDR therapist is always taking notes on my autistic behaviors and challenges while treating my trauma. I'm definitely undiagnosed autistic who was described in this video.
God Bless you for sharing this joe the symptoms you shared sound similar to me I was diagnosed with ADHD. I've done alit of healing as well. Share with your clients that would be very relatable. Also may I ask... I mean how did you come across this!?
Hi! It’s ME 👋 but only after having 3 autistic kids did I realize that not only did I have an incredibly abusive mother, but I had a terrible time trying to please the teachers and make friends all through school…which should have been my safe place.
It sounds like it definitely runs in your family, which is normal for autism. I feel for you. My mothers autistic, I’m autistic and at least two of my children. It’s a hard life.
@SheWho
I can relate so much!🖤
Look at this Kim! 1.7 thousand comments! You followed your intuition making this video and you were absolutely spot on about how much it was needed. Good on you!!! Bravo! I was diagnosed a year ago at the age of 54 with basically Aspergers (although they don’t call it that anymore) and ADHD. And I most certainly also have CPTSD. I did indeed love Elaine Aaron’s work on the highly sensitive person during the 90s. As I sat listening to this video, I just kept thinking oh, how I would love to have coffee with Kim. We would have SO much to talk about! I do hope that you continue to speak on this subject. As you can see, it has been not only well received, but it is much needed. There’s plenty that I could say here, but mostly, I just wanted to thank you for your courage in making this video, to ask you for more of this content and to sing your praises! Thank you for your courage and for listening to your intuition. When more of us do this, we all help one another more than we know! Keep in mind you were born to shine, and be exactly who you are. The world needs you exactly as you are. I am saying this now to all of you reading it. The world may have been cruel to you because you didn’t fit into their cookie cutter mold, but that’s because you are uniquely you and you have so much to share! I am sending so much love to each and everyone of you! 🙏🏻🥰
❤️
We have gifts that normies will never have.
One of them is being our unique selves, because we lack the instinct to submit to social 🤣 "norms"🤣 which are frequently NOT healthy-normal.
We read and hear older adults (I confess!) who say they wish they had been true to themselves instead of submitting to social norms. Most of them were probably Aspies who had masked all of their lives.
Be yourself!
It's the greatest gift you will ever have.
Thank you for your deep dive into this topic. I am a level 1 autistic women 50 yrs old. I did 1 yr psychodynamic therapy with a psychiatrist after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Realising something was deeply wrong, having masked all my life and trying to hide and deal with my childhood complexed trauma.
I have also raised two sons single handed, one has undiagnosed Aspergers, he's 23 doing a masters in philosophy. My youngest son has just received a late dignosis ASD at 16 after having a psychotic episode.
I too experienced the psychosis when l was 18. Thankfully my psychiatrist picked up on this, l was in therapy at the time. I was convinced l was a narcissist. Having put the dots together, l had a light switch moment and realised l have autism. This explained the strange fixations l have with special interests and not much need for social interaction. Feeling strange, not fitting in in work places. Being bullied in the work place masking depression and anxiety for most of my life.
I am mixed race and sons are 3 quarter black. That explained why they slipped through the system going undiagnosed, due to biased education environment.
I live in the UK, and finally felt like l found the missing Jigsaw puzzle. I spent my savings on going private during the lockdown to get an autism diagnosis. Which was mostly conducted online. I should have researched better but was desperate and the lady sounded nice on the phone, my naivety kicked in and l was misdiagnosed.
This plummeted me into a spiritual of depression and feelings of suicide, l couldn't function l felt so burnt out.
In the mean time my youngest was trying to adapt to being a teenager, on antipsychotic meds, thankfully he had an amazing psychiatrist who fast tracked him for his ASD screening.
I had slipped into mild psychosis. Of which l have always experienced throughout my life, although lm able to manage it and get myself regulated.
I haven't been able to go back to work since cancer, lockdown, therapy and the realisation that not only am l on the spectrum but l have raised two sons who also are.
My extended family trauma is huge, l am seeing repeated cycles in my parents grandchildren. The system is very biased, honestly l don't like to think about it, my brains feels like a ball of wool all tangled.
I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, and various life events, l also have ADD, which was removed from the DSM 5, leaving only ADHD!
On a bright note, l have a tonne of special interests, including psychology that keep me regulated and focused. I now understand why my life has been the way its been. I'm better able to support my youngest son.
I am so grateful that you understand and are diving deep. We need research papers articles, and more awareness of ASD in black and minority communities and how this looks when we are born into disfunctional environments, better screening for women in this category.
I would like to go back to work, but currently suffer with avoidance due to trauma in my last work place, l had just started as a palliative nurse, newly qualified!
My pin has now lapsed!! My life feels broken but at the same time l can see the rainbow 🌈 in the sky, o finally know what's wrong with me. I'm a high functioning autistic women who is f*** up in the most beautiful way, lm artistic, sensitive and very gifted in many areas.
If anyone reads this thank you for listening to a little bit of My Story🌈🧞♀️🌹🥰
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Thank you. Maybe this is the reason why I'm so 'weird.' Been misdiagnosed all my life, and I'm 50. I'm Black, too, so I know the struggle in the mental health system. One psychiatrist wrote in my chart that my family history was 'non-contributory', totally dismissing everything I told him about my dysfunction and psychologically damaging environment growing up and into my adulthood. But the truth is, the system want us to remain dysfunctional so that we can't thrive and succeed. That angers me, because had I had access to better care, and interventions, I could've really had a shot at life.
@@swannoir7949 lm so sorry that you have suffered. The system is all that we have and at the same time it's also broken.
@@starqueen5141 Yes, I know. And thank you. What's more broken is my faith, in hope and belief, and wondering why 'God' (I call him The Creator) sends people to help some, and not others.
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I appreciate your honesty and candidness. Most therapists wouldn’t be so direct and so human. I can relate to your new discovery. I found out in my early 50’s !! I’m still not “ formally “ diagnosed, but I’m sure I was a high masker. Most women are so good at masking, they never get diagnosed or are considered borderline.
I certainly identify with all of the HSP traits and was recently diagnosed with CPTSD after years of being misdiagnosed with depression/anxiety due to traumatic childhood. Actually I diagnosed myself first as finally things made sense due to my own research, and then it was later confirmed by a professional. However, recently learning more about autism, I also see the overlaps, as well as many contradictions. One of the things that confuse me the most is the following: autism was long associated with the struggles of decoding other people’s emotions. HSP on the other hand are seen as able not only to recognise, but also feel other people’s emotions, and in Elaine’s research they reported that HSP’s have more mirror neurons amount/activity in the brain compared to non HSP’s. At the same time, it is clear that the more sensitive one is, the more easily traumatised, especially if raised in the abusive/neglectful environment, which then leads to being even more easily overwhelmed , and once that happens - it’s hard to decipher other people’s emotions, as you basically project your trauma on them. So it all becomes a blur, where is trauma, where is sensitivity, where is your own emotions, where is others. I do however think that the above description , regardless of the label, to me signals that it’s not us who are the problem, but it’s the rest of the world who are not sensitive enough. If this phenomenon gives the creative artistic, as well as the intellectually bright people, why is it seen as something problematic? Perhaps it’s what the rest of the humanity should strive towards, not trying to get rid of.
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I would love to shout this from every roof top and mountain! We need answers and to be educated. As a ND person, I understand a lot of the NT ways of thinking, but I know they don't understand my ND way of thinking. Could we at least try to meet in the middle... Please?
I just don't fit in anywhere.... my ND brain is my best friend.. only friend ..
Great points and yes i love how information contradicts other information makingbit easier to dismiss people and saying oh you dont have that and if you do heres an antidepressant. But yes the autism and not being able to read others also confused me as well cause I notice the slightest and even perceived change in someone. Some might have undiagnosed alexithmia which is basically low empathy and the inability to understand one's emotions or what other people are feeling. Adhd is basically a hormone issue and even with taking a stimulant and leveling your dopamine levels to what everyone else has one will lack executive function or struggle with task initiation if they were never taught how to deal with it so if we apply common sense and alexithmia has to do with low empathy a person maybe suffering from hormone defiencies from oxytocin. They have a nasal oxytocin but even taking meds is not gonna give you the skills if you were not trained coached or parented.
I've actually been reading some threads on reddit and there were autistic people commenting on how most of them can actually "read" others emotions, its just not as intuitively as non autistics tend to do it. They may need more guidance on how to do it... cause the way the brain learns it's different. Also, this is my own thinking but most people hide their emotions so its hard to read them correctly because maybe im sensing ur feeling a certain way but your words and global actions say otherwise and then its just so confusing... most neurotypical people do this a whole lot!! 🫠
Also if we are talking about autistic women let's not forget the social pressure to understand others emotions is higher so it is easier to learn all that stuff from a younger age! And then they become high masking. I hope what im saying makes sense 😅
All the things you were sharing about being an HSP, sensory issues, being super interested in psychology at a young age, feeling “high maintenance,” feeling like “an alien,” getting sick easily… it me! I feel a lot less “alien” after watching your video, so thank you so much for sharing your learning journey even though it was scary to do! ❤️
You hit every nail on the head for myself…I felt like you were speaking about me! The smell thing, the connective tissue disorder, being a HSP, having adhd, complex trauma from childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics, narcissistic sibling, siblings with addictions and alcoholism that continued to contribute to my shit show into adulthood further resulting in additional traumas piggybacking one another, living in the constant flight or fight mode (most times fight for protection), I’m a “retired” hair stylist that has had multiple surgeries that has left my creative energies going in many new directions with experimenting with various forms of mediums. It started with my journey seeking out a therapist who practiced Art Therapy in addition to other classic therapies that never seemed to work. This could be a novel but in short I will finish with saying the constant “need to know/understand “ everything in life specifically mine, leads me to the rabbit hole of research dealing with the brain!! Learning firstly the true connection of the mind/body helping me understand the tip of my iceberg. Isolation in the last 5 years to begin healing deep wounds and traumas and cleaning out the toxic relationships over the last years has definitely caused my inward look at trying to put the pieces together because my piece specifically has never fit in anywhere. Talk about MASKING!! When I started therapy I didn’t even know that was a real thing! I did a collage picking different masks and what they were and how they looked to the outside world. When one’s brain chemistry is constantly being altered so to their environment/traumas, abandonment issues, abuse, self medicating, disassociation/numbness, ect there has to be a common thread running thru many if not all of them connecting in a sense a domino effect. That’s my feeling as uneducated as it is but just my life experience. I’m 54 years old and have no idea who I really am or what my life could have been. I try not to let myself get in that head space but it’s a lonely and isolating place to be with all the above mentioned 5!! Thank you for being vulnerable and putting this out! I for one am very invested and interested!
Absolutely everything you said. They diagnosed me with a mood disorder. After years of trying to give me depression pills, that just made me crazy. In
What a great subject. This is me. Panic attacks for 25 years. Living in fight or flight mode. Altered my existence. Feeling ADHD. I look forward to what you come up with. I suspected this over two years ago within myself. I feel my mother has this as well. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder 25 years ago with no letting up. I’m a hermit too. Always described as quirky, different, unusual. Brutally honest. The description section here nails me down big time.
Welcome to our club! 😊
I can’t even begin to describe how I resonate with your videos. I’m over 40 and have just been recently diagnosed with ADHD. The psychiatrist said he also thinks I’m on the spectrum. You are putting in words so many things that are going through my head.
"My life has felt like nails on a chalkboard" - you just verbalized something I've always felt. I have the same difficulties - can't keep friendships, or they are really hard to keep up, autoimmune issues, always sick as a kid, need a LOT of time alone to recharge - just all of it. I cannot do scary movies as my nervous system cannot handle it. I've also studied psychology for decades and the one thing I'm starting to wonder about is, are there really all these different diagnoses at all? Or are they all different manifestations of childhood trauma? Aside from physical pathology and strong DNA abnormalities, I really think that's what it is.
nails on a chalkboard... that's good one
De-stigmatising _diagnoses_ is very important, because it helps to differentiate mental health problems from how individuals with those problems treat other people. Like with my mother, I can totally accept that she has significant struggles (that have caused me trauma). But what isn’t acceptable is how she often treats me and others; particularly, that she always, always tries to justify her hurtful, irrational behaviour, and claim that because of her limitations no-one can ask her to apologise. That’s when it’s not just about mental health.
LOVE LOVE LOVE this discussion!!
I was diagnosed at 36, after going through the assessment process for my children. Previously diagnosed with depression and anxiety and BPD. Eventually realised I had CPTSD, and then BOOM - autism. It finally made so much sense. Knowing that I am the way I am because that’s the way I’m supposed to be, it’s literally been a lifesaver! And I don’t have to keep beating myself up because I don’t fit the box that everyone else seems to fit in, and it’s not because there’s something wrong with me!
I strongly feel that my autism and CPTSD cannot be separated, because growing up as an undiagnosed autistic female IS traumatic. At least it was for me.
I absolutely love that you’re sharing this journey with us and I will be continuing to listen to each and every episode you post! You are so validating ❤❤
I have been exploring this very same issue! I am an educational psychologist specializing in autism and adhd. I also have adhd and my family is rife with adhd diagnosis. My nephew is HFA/ Aspergers with severe ADHD and is cognitively brilliant. My grandfather had psychopathic traits, my uncle narcissistic, and my dad borderline/ vulnerable narcissistic. My father was terribly abused and while he was better than his dad, he passed the trauma on. I work with many kids with autism and started noticing how many mothers presented with borderline traits. So i researched it and found a connection in the literature and was off to the races. I’ve read extensively on autism, CPTSD, and borderline (as well as the other cluster b disorders) and have been fascinated by the overlaps and interplay. I don’t have anyone in my life to talk to about this stuff (though I still try…just ask my friends 😂) so I’m glad to have found this episode. It is fascinating.
Hey-I’d like to talk about this.
Awesome! I am so glad other clinicians are recognizing these connections! I am a clinical social worker and outpatient therapist. I also have been noticing for some time a correlation between autism, adhd, c-ptsd, and bpd in my patients.