My only pushback is regarding pulling HR in, especially if the situation is with your boss. HR does NOT work to help you, they work to protect the company's interests. There may be individual HR professionals who do the right thing, but much like cops they can never be truly trusted.
It is almost freaky how well-timed the release of this video is in relation to what I'm currently going through at work. I'm a passiv empath that's having extreme difficulty with setting boundaries with a co-worker of mine that's passive-aggressive, and I've hit my limit. Can't wait to learn more from your boundary boot-camp videos. This video was so helpful!
That is exactly the same as my issue at work.. I'm empathic and the passive-aggressive behavior of a co-worker is terrible. I quit having or enjoying coming to work when she finally returned to work after chosing not to come to work for about a year (a few days a each month) but now back..
I am realizing that I have major issues with men who like to flex and get in my personal space. I have always had these issues because I grew up with mentally abusive men. I immediately and directly set boundaries with people (in particular men) who make me uncomfortable at work. It's as simple as telling them I am busy and unable to deal with their problem.
Thank you. I joined your group and I can't wait to join boundary boot camp. Girl, you know how to keep the psychos in check and you don't take no stuff from nobody and I been on your channel taking notes all weekend. I joined your Facebook group and I can't wait to become the person I'm supposed to be.
Thank you for your videos on boundary setting. I grew up with a codependent parent. I didn’t know how to set boundaries and it led to an unbalanced and somewhat abusive situations. I just learned how to assert a polite no to my friends, my mother and at work in the past week. I feel like I took my life back. Thank you for your work it’s really helped me.
Very helpful and I review this video from time to time. One of my former managers put on my annual performance review that I needed to smile more often. I still can't believe he put that in writing. HR had a small conversation with him but he didn't learn his lesson and years after I moved to another company, he was fired for cause and the company was sued for ignoring sexual harassment.
I really needed this boundary series. I'm just beginning to learn how to set boundaries. I never really learned how to protect myself because I grew up in an abusive household, so I thought people walking all over me was normal and I had no idea how to ask for what I need. Now I have a coworker who's making me uncomfortable with his snide comments at me, I'm almost beginning to feel like I'm being picked on by hi m. I've got to learn how to set strong boundaries!! bingewatching boundary stuff on youtube lol. that part about repeating reality is so true. My mom was a huge bully and then I always had repeating realities of meeting another bully whether in friendships or at workplace. This woke me up to it. I no longer feel like I need to get sucked into that drama and I have options on how I react to the situation...It was transference! I became that scared little girl who used to run to her room and hide because of fear!
It can be very difficult setting a boundary work, particularly when there is lack of diversity in types of person. Apparently, if I am not like them in thought and mind, I am a target and setting a boundary can make things even worse. Mobbing narcissists in the workplace is absolutely horrible. Get a good support network outside the workplace helps when you do have a boundary.
If it's a mob and narcissistic mentality, is that a healthy place for you to be working? Keep in mind you have to do look out for yourself and your health and sometimes that means removing yourself from unhealthy or toxic situations.
Love this video! I am really struggling with a particular coworker. She relates to me and others in a harsh manner (she admitted to knowing she is harsh and says she is not going to change for anyone.) I brought to her attention some things that weren't okay with me and I made a simple request for her to talk and treat me in a kind, more respectful way. Looking back I realize she didn't look like she was on board with what I asked for. Last week, she mocked me by rolling her eyes behind my back but in front of me in a sense when I expressed feeling anxious about a staff meeting we were going to have. I can not stand her because she can be so disrespectful and doesn't see an issue with it. Other staff members have said they are feeling disrespected by her. The manager said she knows the worker is a bully, the coworker even speaks to her like that at times. It is wearing me down. This person reminds me of my best friend/my brother who were emotionally abusive and didn't see an issue with it, and when you speak your truth they disregard and invalidate my feelings. I want to slug her in the face, honestly. What do I do? I confronted her a few times on her behavior and nothing really changes.
I want to applaud you for expressing your boundaries and making a request. You advocated for yourself, and she is choosing to continue to not meet what you've asked for. Is this someone you can limit contact with? What strategies are working for your manager who I assume also has to work with this person?
Tomorrow morning I plan to institute healthy boundaries at work. I know it’s long over due because I am angry and resentful and feel unappreciated and unheard. I will no longer take on more than I can achieve, and I will stop putting others needs ahead of my own.
3 Q..I was thinking about that.. One of my coworkers in the beginning when I was start to work there, was addressing me (talking to me)same as one unknown person from the internet,same line she was using,I have saved that "unknown person"texts.She(coworker) is married and in romantic relationship with our boss..boss is also very dramatic he yells a lot,he is just like previous boss,who yelled a lot too..But neither my father nor mother yelled at me,so I don't find match with past..I don't really like the country I m living in and I was thinking much about leaving but I feel stuck. Political situation is also bad,so job is not easy to find..drawing boundaries is easy part,hard part is living with such ppl and feeling helpless n not able to fulfill my one wishes.
The 3Qs don't always line up with a parent, keep digging to see if there are traits or familiarities with other people from your past. Was there someone else that yelled a lot? Wishing you lots of strength and light with your living situation.
Love your videos... How does one deal with a coworker who approaches you, and talks incessantly and it drains you... not to mention this same coworker distracts you and feels the need to manage you when they are a fellow employee and tells you how to do your job? How do you kindly deal with that where the person will not resent you for speaking up? I would greatly appreciate your feedback...
My only pushback is regarding pulling HR in, especially if the situation is with your boss. HR does NOT work to help you, they work to protect the company's interests. There may be individual HR professionals who do the right thing, but much like cops they can never be truly trusted.
Thank you for sharing. I hear you.
I learned this the hard way.
It is almost freaky how well-timed the release of this video is in relation to what I'm currently going through at work. I'm a passiv empath that's having extreme difficulty with setting boundaries with a co-worker of mine that's passive-aggressive, and I've hit my limit. Can't wait to learn more from your boundary boot-camp videos. This video was so helpful!
That is exactly the same as my issue at work.. I'm empathic and the passive-aggressive behavior of a co-worker is terrible. I quit having or enjoying coming to work when she finally returned to work after chosing not to come to work for about a year (a few days a each month) but now back..
So happy to hear the vids are helping you! Thank you for being here with me ;)
I am realizing that I have major issues with men who like to flex and get in my personal space. I have always had these issues because I grew up with mentally abusive men. I immediately and directly set boundaries with people (in particular men) who make me uncomfortable at work. It's as simple as telling them I am busy and unable to deal with their problem.
Thank you. I joined your group and I can't wait to join boundary boot camp. Girl, you know how to keep the psychos in check and you don't take no stuff from nobody and I been on your channel taking notes all weekend. I joined your Facebook group and I can't wait to become the person I'm supposed to be.
Thank you for your videos on boundary setting. I grew up with a codependent parent. I didn’t know how to set boundaries and it led to an unbalanced and somewhat abusive situations. I just learned how to assert a polite no to my friends, my mother and at work in the past week. I feel like I took my life back. Thank you for your work it’s really helped me.
Love this ❤️ thank you for enlightening me .
I needed this. Thank you again. Love your advice and information.
Very helpful and I review this video from time to time. One of my former managers put on my annual performance review that I needed to smile more often. I still can't believe he put that in writing. HR had a small conversation with him but he didn't learn his lesson and years after I moved to another company, he was fired for cause and the company was sued for ignoring sexual harassment.
"Greatest knowledge is to unlearn" Rumi.
All we need to unlearn subconscious toxic repeating patterns,thanks Terri ❤️
Love that!
The repeating reality is so true My boss always triggers me the same as my dad does
I really needed this boundary series. I'm just beginning to learn how to set boundaries. I never really learned how to protect myself because I grew up in an abusive household, so I thought people walking all over me was normal and I had no idea how to ask for what I need. Now I have a coworker who's making me uncomfortable with his snide comments at me, I'm almost beginning to feel like I'm being picked on by hi m. I've got to learn how to set strong boundaries!! bingewatching boundary stuff on youtube lol. that part about repeating reality is so true. My mom was a huge bully and then I always had repeating realities of meeting another bully whether in friendships or at workplace. This woke me up to it. I no longer feel like I need to get sucked into that drama and I have options on how I react to the situation...It was transference! I became that scared little girl who used to run to her room and hide because of fear!
These are great reflections! I'm witnessing your courageous connections about your past and current realities.
@@terri_cole thank you so much! Your videos actually really helped me to step up and act more mature at work!
Oh, how I needed this today!
It can be very difficult setting a boundary work, particularly when there is lack of diversity in types of person. Apparently, if I am not like them in thought and mind, I am a target and setting a boundary can make things even worse. Mobbing narcissists in the workplace is absolutely horrible. Get a good support network outside the workplace helps when you do have a boundary.
If it's a mob and narcissistic mentality, is that a healthy place for you to be working? Keep in mind you have to do look out for yourself and your health and sometimes that means removing yourself from unhealthy or toxic situations.
The hotel closed down and was made a Care Home, so I never see the colleagues at all now
Love this video! I am really struggling with a particular coworker. She relates to me and others in a harsh manner (she admitted to knowing she is harsh and says she is not going to change for anyone.) I brought to her attention some things that weren't okay with me and I made a simple request for her to talk and treat me in a kind, more respectful way. Looking back I realize she didn't look like she was on board with what I asked for. Last week, she mocked me by rolling her eyes behind my back but in front of me in a sense when I expressed feeling anxious about a staff meeting we were going to have. I can not stand her because she can be so disrespectful and doesn't see an issue with it. Other staff members have said they are feeling disrespected by her. The manager said she knows the worker is a bully, the coworker even speaks to her like that at times. It is wearing me down. This person reminds me of my best friend/my brother who were emotionally abusive and didn't see an issue with it, and when you speak your truth they disregard and invalidate my feelings. I want to slug her in the face, honestly. What do I do? I confronted her a few times on her behavior and nothing really changes.
I want to applaud you for expressing your boundaries and making a request. You advocated for yourself, and she is choosing to continue to not meet what you've asked for. Is this someone you can limit contact with? What strategies are working for your manager who I assume also has to work with this person?
Thanks for this. Just what I needed to hear.
Thank you! Amazing!!!
Wow this is eye opening
Tomorrow morning I plan to institute healthy boundaries at work. I know it’s long over due because I am angry and resentful and feel unappreciated and unheard. I will no longer take on more than I can achieve, and I will stop putting others needs ahead of my own.
Cheering you on mama!! Take care of you!
This is an amazing video. I do appreciate your knowledge, compassion, and they way you express your teachings. Thank you! 🙏🏻
Thank you Terri I can see now
Right on, Yvonne!
🙏❤️
Thank you! :-)
3 Q..I was thinking about that.. One of my coworkers in the beginning when I was start to work there, was addressing me (talking to me)same as one unknown person from the internet,same line she was using,I have saved that "unknown person"texts.She(coworker) is married and in romantic relationship with our boss..boss is also very dramatic he yells a lot,he is just like previous boss,who yelled a lot too..But neither my father nor mother yelled at me,so I don't find match with past..I don't really like the country I m living in and I was thinking much about leaving but I feel stuck. Political situation is also bad,so job is not easy to find..drawing boundaries is easy part,hard part is living with such ppl and feeling helpless n not able to fulfill my one wishes.
The 3Qs don't always line up with a parent, keep digging to see if there are traits or familiarities with other people from your past. Was there someone else that yelled a lot? Wishing you lots of strength and light with your living situation.
@@terri_cole thank you very much for guiding my thoughts. I will think about that more.
THANK YOU !!!!!!!! 👏🏼🌻🍀
Love your videos... How does one deal with a coworker who approaches you, and talks incessantly and it drains you... not to mention this same coworker distracts you and feels the need to manage you when they are a fellow employee and tells you how to do your job? How do you kindly deal with that where the person will not resent you for speaking up? I would greatly appreciate your feedback...
Set boundaries. Tell them you are busy working and you don't have time to talk.
I struggle with all those situations as well!
Very informative! Thank you
You are so welcome, Arleta. Thank you for being here with us!
My bosses are great!
I love that!!
@@terri_cole ♡♡♡♡
Simple coworkers are NOT your friends
It can definitely be good to set boundaries at the office with your coworkers!