AITA if I don't want to pay for my husband's law school? Dusty Thunder Reads & Reacts!
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
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AITA if I don't want to pay for my husband's law school?
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She needs to ditch the Peter Pan before he irretrievably ruins her life.
There's no way I would stay with such an irresponsible person!
And not getting pregnant would have been a top priority before I left
@@ktangard 💯
Sounds like he's hitting a mid-life crisis and trying to drag OP with him
I don’t think he has a fear of failure as he has already failed and is comfortable with it. I think he has a fear of success.
Ooooh!
That’s good!
Sounds like. He wants her to do all the succeeding so he can do whatever sounds like he pulled the law school thing out of his ass to make all the responsibility her problem.
Hubby is irresponsible with money and she is not the AH for being rational about the money spending. He needs to understand that money is an issue and he can’t just do whatever he wants.
Divorce him.
He needs to act his age, not his shoe size.
If there were no children on the way, then o.k. but this is not the case.
He has unreasonable and unrealistic expectations.
She has screwed herself over by staying with him.
She has to choose her child or her husband.
Pipe dreamer.
Delusional.
Yeah. Nope. Nope. No.
If he can’t see his financial situation any better than that , it seems doubtful he’d be successful in law school.
That’s a hell no from me, tell him to come up with the money himself. Or run, just run.
By the time he's done with law school, he will be ready for retirement! 😮
Absolutely not. Hubby is so irresponsible.
Absolutely NTA. OP needs to divorce this man. Run and don't look back.
At 28, OP has better head on her shoulders than hubby at 38. NTA
Tell him to pay all the debt and THEN he can go back to achool.
Not so fast with a bankruptcy. It's not unknown for that to affect an application to the bar, should he finish law school. Or, she could run. He's 38 and acting like a toddler.
I have to wonder if he baby trapped her. This could also be a power play, where he envisions himself getting the better job than her. This could also be a play to manipulate her into being a full time housewife.
Baby trapped her? Possibly.
Also a full time house wife needs a full time provider... that doesnt sound much like him rn...
NTA! OP, I'm glad he's been supportive of you, but at 38 years old and about to be a new father, it seems like he still has a great deal of maturing to do. He just got a six-figure paying job and instead of paying off debt and preparing for a child, he wants to quit to go to law school? How far into this mid-life crisis is he? Has he ever heard of NIGHT SCHOOL? While it does take longer to get a degree and it's possible that not all the classes he needs would be available on an evening schedule, he needs to be pragmatic at this point, but truthfully OP, so do you. Given his spending habits and the strain this will put on you and your child, you need to think long and hard about this and what you should do.
I don't disagree with your overall conclusion, but I will say there are very few part-time evening law schools in the United States, which is the program OP's husband will need.
@@kareemamitchell2010 True, but is he even looking for any other options?
@@merlinathrawes746 what do you mean by other options? I mean, there are only 68 part time law programs in the entire country, and many don't have evening programs. Most part time evening programs are at schools in major metropolitan areas, so depending on where these folks live, that may not even be possible without a relocation. Not to mention, it's exceedingly difficult to obtain admission to law school and part time evening programs are just as competitive to get into.
@@kareemamitchell2010 Again, I don't disagree but I have to wonder if he's even looking at part-time classes, delaying going to law school for 2-3 years or even taking a hard look at what this will do to his family.
@@merlinathrawes746 I just don't think he's thinking at all. He's freaking out and being irresponsible in the process.
Didn't OP say he already has $40k in unpaid student loans? Pay off one before incurring more. Seriously consider what your future is going to actually be with this guy! He's acting like he's 10 years younger than you instead of a decade older. If you stay together, you're going to feel like you're raising 2 kids. You may want to talk to someone about divorce, not being liable for his debt, not having to pay him alimony and understanding that you're not likely to get cold support. 🤦🙅🙋 NTA
She’s using her FAFSA to pay for school and bills. So she’s also likely wracking up a lot of school debt. The fact at she worded makes me afraid that she doesn’t realize that she’s also going to be in debt. This whole situation is a no.
Most law firms don’t accept ppl who are in the middle of bankruptcy. As (rightly or wrongly) they r seen a a potential risk of not billing properly or paying out to the firm properly b/c of their financial stress.
I feel like she needs to leave him, he will end up ruining her and make her life so much more difficult.
Reminds me of Harry Potter after he takes the liquid luck. “It seems like the (thing to do)!” 😂
I get why she would feel guilty but I would say let's get through the kid and let me get a good job and then see what we can make happen. He needs to be a father right now. A lot of mom and dad's have to give up dreams for their kids unfortunately but when you have kids sometimes that's how life has to be but if he really wants it he should make it happen.
Make him do the budget of both time and money required for him to do the law degree. Also make him research the starting salary for new grads and figure out the expected pay back period for the cost of this degree. Hopefully that will knock him back into reality from delulu land. And I would not want to be pregnant in MO, just saying.
OP, you're never going to "catch up" with that guy and his irresponsibility mindset. Been there, done that!
NTA. OP needs to have a serious talk with him. This is not the time for this. OP may need to talk to a lawyer to protect herself from his debt
I think that button Candy wants applies here... 'grow the f-up'
He has to take the LSAT and make sure he has sufficient funds to get started and/or ability to get another student loan. He will also have to go part time so that he can work his six figure job during the day. Maybe he doesn’t want to take care of the baby-he won’t have any time to do any of that.
No no no no. Too many major life changes at once. New home, new job, baby on the way? They need to get a year past the baby's birth before they even consider adding another major life change. That's #1.
#2, they need to analyze the ROI on law school. It's expensive, and although everyone expects law school will pay off in the long run, the typical law school student has about 16+ years of expected earning potential on him. Where does he want to study? What's the graduate job placement rate from that law school? Especially within the area unless they're ok with moving again when he graduates. I hear that the market is a bit flooded right now. What can he reasonably expect to earn upon graduating? How much will it cost him to finish law school and how long will it take him to pay off the loans at his expected salary? Considering the loan payments, will this even improve their financial situation in the five years following graduation? 10 years? How much stress will this add to him and his young family in the meantime?
There's a lot of factors to consider in order to determine if it's worth it.
If husband works long enough at his new six figure job, the employer might pay his tuition… but that’s not the issue.
Hella no. Divorce him, get the parents to care for the child, and finish your degree.
Husband is financially irresponsible, clearly makes poor financial decisions repeatedly and doesn't learn from his mistakes, doesn't seem to have a clear understanding of what he's doing to their future as a family racking up so much debt and consequences, seems dependent upon OP to keep them afloat until they move for *her* to accept a 6-figure employment opportunity and seems okay with living with *her* parents until they move. As an aside, he suddenly wants to attend law school at age 38. Average age for a new law student is 25; with no guarantee of job placement after passing the bar (*if* he passes the bar). He's not single anymore, he's going to be a father and he hasn't provided a stable living environment for he and his wife - how is going to provide for 3 of them? He's not in a frat, he's living in his in-laws' home because of his failures in handling his finances. She's gotten an impressive job offer that involves 6-figures and he's already spending her income she hasn't even made yet by wanting to go to law school while she's still bailing him out of his myriad financial screw ups. This man is going to ruin her for years to come: pregnant or not, OP should remove the rose-colored glasses and see this man-child for what he really is before she can't turn back: irresponsible, immature, reckless, unreliable, indifferent to how he's ruined his own credit and most likely hers (or will soon) and living in a fantasy world where, when he's not being a dreamer, he creates problems and she and her parents fix his problems for him.
He got the 6 figure job.
I have seen Law school ruins relationships, simply because of the time commitment and intense focus on studying, and the other partner not being fully on board for all of that sacrifice and self-absorption, not to mention the money. If your marriage/partnership is not rock solid, professional school will not help. If he plans to be a good husband and father, he can wait a few years. Law school will always be there. The oldest person in my graduating class was in her early fifties.
I want to finish my PhD but I don’t have the money so no doctorate for me.
Dude watches a couple seasons of “Suits” and suddenly, in his 40s, wants to be an attorney. Got it. My advice, OP? Run as fast as you can. This man is an anchor around your neck.
Midlife crisis!!
Are we sure he has a job in Missouri??!!
Girlll run 😮😮😮 Hes a absolute mess
They both sound like they're bad with money... She's having a baby why???
Because he convinced her to have one?
Or she's "anti-abortion" and doesn't consider how the baby is going to screw up her life, though, probably less than her 'husband' has thus far.
Reality v. Fiction - I’m a legal practice asst + I’m pretty sure a bankruptcy while attending law school is an ethics problem he’d hv to fix (pay) before he’d be allowed to take the bar and he won’t qualify for bankruptcy if he has a 6 figure job.
So he’s going to pass on that job to go to law school and go bankrupt?? That’s a fantasy. He sounds like he’s lying about something.
I’ve worked with countless ppl who work full time as paralegals, go to law school at NIGHT and get the offer from their current law firm when they graduate. He wants it? Let HIM work for it.
Sounds to me like she married the wrong dude!
Not a lawyer, but I do know a few. Not all lawyers make 6 figures.. So dude here is willing to gamble a 6 figure income with a 5-6 figure debt, and he may not even break even on the school loans vs salary. Seems like he either blew the opportunity for the 6 figure job, or a case of self sabotage.. Like maybe this is the best his life has ever been, but doesn’t feel like he deserves it? Or he’s just that big of an idiot. OP is NTA, in my opinion. Her husband is obviously prone to flights of fancy…
Oh, honey. Why would you stay with this irresponsible man child?
Edit: The law field is also incredibly oversaturated. So he'll be spending God knows how much money on school but the chances of him getting a job offer post-grad are slim.
He's a financial train wreck. Why is OP with this guy?
There's a ten-year age gap, and OP is apparently wife number four; let's be real, no one in this relationship is smart or responsible. ESH.
🤍
NTA. OP needs to tell him that they have to focus on getting out from under the mountain of debt that they are under before any new dreams can be chased.
No. He already put y'all in too much debt. Be honest and remind him you and he will soon be three, y'all need a nest egg to ease some of this burden first.