AIO: Asking my MIL to stop relaying everything I do to my wife when she's visiting?
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- Опубликовано: 11 июл 2024
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AIO: Asking my MIL to stop relaying everything I do to my wife when she's visiting?
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Развлечения
"He was wearing a tiger outfit, and when he came back he wasn't. It was a gorilla." This, I would do this. Leave with some clothes, return with less, or a completely different outfit.
I love it! 😂
The wife says "I don't need to hear about it" and yet... asks him about what the mom is reporting.
"Today he mowed the lawn in an inflatable t-rex costume. Yesterday he was gardening in an inflatable unicorn costume. Am I going insane?"
Lots of Amazon packages with new costumes. 😂
Today for fifteen minutes he sneaked around the house suspiciously humming the mission impossible theme song. He eventually left a furby on the top shelf of the pantry. I tried to reach up for it and it yelled loudly in a pirate voice "AVAST YE OLD SKOW! YE WILL NOT BE GETTING YOUR LANDLUBBER MITTS ON ME BOOTY!" Is this insanity?
It's his glimpse into how she grew up. My mother is like this. For example, I was in my 20s and met a guy on a night out. I made the mistake of telling my mum about it. She basically wanted me to tell her the guy's life history and that of his parents. I told her that when I've known the guy for more than a few hours I'll submit the FBI profile of him. I'm 42 and can't breathe without her commenting on it. Which makes the fact that we have to live together because of the economy all the more harder. She'll never ever stop.
He stood on his head for 30 minutes 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nope, you need to worry that the wife will be like this with the child.
The wife needs to fixed this, I would be pissed too. I get annoyed when someone gives me a play-by-play of their own life, or ask me where I'm going. I'm like I'm grown, I don't need to tell you. The wife needs to be like, "mom he's grown and I don't need a play-by-play of his life". And anytime she starts that's what I would say. I get some people are just nosey, I've had friends like that, they don't mean much about it, they just nosey, they would gladly tell you if you asked, but I don't ask.
I would be annoyed to high heaven...
...
I listened to the bit about doing a handstand several times 😂💀
Not overreacting. That would be annoying as hell. I'd be petty & do the craziest things to scare MIL.
Also, this makes me think, did MIL's husband cheat on her or something & that's why this woman is bat ***king insane now? What you do daily is none of her business.
Lmao diabolical
MIL needs friends. She doesn’t have enough to do.
I’m of an age where if my partner’s family member was keeping track of everything I did, I would go *directly* to the family member and ask them why they felt the need to report it. Be CALMLY confrontational. No anger, no accusations. Just, “Why did you feel the need to tell XYZ [whatever happened]?” And then stay completely silent until they answered. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If I was this couple I'd make a pact that both start singing one really annoying song maybe that kill bill melody or manamana everytime MIL either follows hubby around or brings the news to her daughter. Way more fun especially if she doesn't stop although both told her to stop.
Switch the tables.Track MIL and tell wifey about that.She'll soon get sick of it and pull mummy dearest up
If I were the wife, I would lose my shit on my own mom. It’s not mom’s business what my SO is doing unless he’s being some random person into my home and having an affair.
I don’t like when people basically tattle on what a family member did throughout the day. Especially when it was their normal daily routine stuff.
If you go looking for pain, you will always find it.
OP has a right to be upset. That would totally tick me off too! MIL needs to knock that off. Sounds like wife is using her mom to spy on her husband. Boundaries need to be set here BIG TIME. If MIL won't stop she needs to go PERIOD. i'm a MIL to two great ladies, and I would NEVER do that to either of them.
while the wife is at work you pack a bag and when she gets home you say, "I'm not coming home until she stops reporting on me or leaves." don't give her a chance to respond just get in the car and go. deactivate any method she has for tracking you.
I'm thinking that mil was cheated on/ not treated right by fil and now she sees "sign" everywhere.
It would be really annoying and insulting but I'm guessing that she has gone back into momma bear mode with her daughter being pregnant and vulnerable. Especially since wife goes out to work but husband works from home. The older generations look down on that 🤷♀️. My husband and I have a similar situation and I'm constantly having correct people's assumptions about him because he's on ss and doesn't have a traditional job, BUT he is constantly working really hard with side jobs, helping his parents with the property, running errands and running our parents around. He rarely has a day off but he gets treated like a bum.... it pisses me off.
Start telling MIL about everything you do. Even if you have to wake her up out of a dead sleep, and always keep a smile on your face the entire time.
OR, refuse to answer. Remind MIL that you are an adult and will not be accountable to her, and remind Wife that love is built on trust, and if she doesn't trust you, that's a her problem.
STOP AGGRAVATING MY HUSBAND!!!
If MIL is supposed to be there to 'help' the couple and give them more time alone to relax, give her behind a LONG list of things that need to be done (sorting clothes in the attic, hanging items out on the clothesline, deep clean the nursery, etc.) to keep her nose from getting into their business. Or maybe even going out into town to check many sources for items needed for the baby - some new, hard to find things. Keep her occupied.
I’m losing my shit thinking about this too. I’d definitely be the petty one doing weird, random things so she can document them. Writing down his own journal of activities is a great idea too. *9:15 am used the upstairs bathroom for 15 minutes. It was #2 with some #1 also. Spent 10 minutes on Reddit…. Etc etc.
Obviously not overreacting.
Q: Does MIL give detailed reports about the 2yr old to Wife, that then make it to OP?
Issues:
MIL is a busybody
MIL is reporting to wife
Wife is acting on the "intel"
Wife does not see the lack of boundary respect
Wife knows this bothers OP and still makes comments
Wife knows this bothers OP and will not advocate for him to MIL
Wife cares more about what her mother says than what her husband says
Can OP work out of a hotel for a week - either just be there during "work hours" or sleep there as well? (Letting MIL watch the 2yr old) He'd finally get some privacy before the baby comes. And give him some distance and clarity.
I’m thinking the commenter who said her mom was put there on purpose is right. Otherwise there’s no reason his wife wouldn’t make her stop.
Absolutely. Wife is gaslighting husband.
MIL sounds like a curtain twitcher - She spends her day watching other people so she can discuss all of their comings and goings, and now it's the only kind of interaction/conversation she knows how to have. It's inappropriate in any situation, and it's absolutely unacceptable in OP's home. Wife should be setting a boundary, telling her mother that she needs to stop this or she well be sent home. And OP would be within his rights to set the boundary that is his wife can't support him that he will not live like that.
I agree with the commenter who said that she was planted there. If you’re looking for time together for a date night before the baby comes, it only requires the mil to be there for the time she needs to babysit. Not a whole month!!
Nah, wife would be dumb to put mom there… if OP was being shady and was being questioned then he’d switch it up.
And mil is not only not helping, she’s adding more stress.
Is mom divorced? She’s probably distrustful of SIL and men in general
Wifey is gaslighting Hubby. She invited her mom over and she knows the stress it's causing Hubby. Wifey's doing this either because 1) she wants to keep an eye on Hubby (no clue if she has any actual reasons to be suspicious of him, but it certainly seems like paranoia at this point), or 2) she finds the situation amusing.
Hubby has no particular ties to the MIL, except through Wifey. It's his home and he should be allowed to be comfortable in his own home. It's Wifey's mess and she should clean it up out of love and respect for Hubby. If not, Hubby's issue is with Wifey and he should confront her on it (lovingly and respectfully, of course).
I get that Hubby doesn't WANT to confront Wifey, because he'll catch Hell for it... but pretending Wifey's just an innocent party who isn't actively contributing to the core problem is ignoring the reality.
MIL is likely just marking her territory, showing that her bond with Wifey is stronger than Hubby's. That's also a problem, and again, Wifey is at the center of it. Wifey should set MIL straight... unless MIL is correct, in which case Hubby needs to get out of Dodge.
Just sayin'. YMMV.
🤍
Remove the camera
I was thinking about that camera. We have cameras and we both have apps on our phones to look at the videos. Hopefully mil does not have that app on her phone and when she goes home, she could still spy on OP.
MIL is bored. OP is her entertainment, and it could also be that this is her way of trying to create rapport with her daughter. She could have something like ADHD, and she has to talk about whatever she can. Be happy that she is being positive about what she is saying, once she sees you as an enemy you would want these days back.