My best friend is cheating on his wife. Dusty Thunder Reads & Reacts!
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
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My best friend is cheating on his wife.
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i'm glad OP told her. My ex husband cheated while we were trying to start a family, nearly everyone in our lives knew and didn't tell me so I lost everything. I couldn't trust any of them. I feel for the wife, OP and his wife. So sad
“I’m cheating, but I’m not planning on leaving her” NO what you really mean is “I’m cheating, and I have no plans of her finding out so she can leave me” This is so selfish.
It was also terrible that he told OP to Please not ruin their lives. Dude YOU ruined your life already. And you're just gonna make it worse if you don't come clean. Don't put that on somebody else as if it's their fault if they reveal your lies and duplicity.
This is honestly such a sad scenario. I don't know how he is going to fix things after what he has done. I'm glad OP is a good friend to the wife. I'm hoping the husband gets his stuff together, but I don't know how you can claim to love someone and then do something like that.
That situation is so messed up I can see how OP would be torn these are both his friends
What's ironic is that the friends excuse of being "in too deep" to stop the affair could very well be that he's too scared his affair partner will out him if he tries to end things. He'd be keeping the affair going just to keep it secret and the wife already knows.
I would tell her or have the wife tell her. I would hate it* if I found out my good friend knew my partner was cheating and didn’t tell me.
OP, your friend put you squarely in the middle where you and your wife will get hurt if it's discovered you knew and didn't tell your friend's wife. Not to mention, IVF is incredibly expensive and time consuming with no guarantee of success. Mistresses are also expensive and time consuming as well, as is divorce. No one forced your friend to start up an affair, regardless of how innocent it may have begun. The wife deserves the truth.
What an incredible mess. But truthfully, I really don't think the friend has much intention of breaking off his affair if he's turning off apps and lying about where he's at. I can understand (up to a point) sister's motivation in staying with him to get a much desired child, but I'm not sure that's right either.
Honestly, OP is such a good man and a great friend! Bravo 👏🏽👌🏽
I was in Opies situation once and didnt tell her husband.Eventually he fiund out and in a way that hurt him alot . I still regret it.
As a woman with infertility issues I fully understand and agree with sister on going forward with the IFV. When you struggle to have a child for years and years, trying one treatment after another just to have every one of them fail? That last resort is desperate. The situation sucks and I hope the friend realized what he has to lose if he doesn't clean up his shit.
Give your friend a deadline for him to tell her.
Then check with her if he has. Tell her then if he hasn't.
About her moving on, well, at least it was her decision, I'm sad to hear she thinks this is her only chance, but we're only strangers on the internet and we don't know the whole story. But definitely, the friend is a piece of the biggest most disgusting poop.
💜💙
I'm late to the party here, but oof! OP is NTA for twlking his friend's wife - he did the right thing he's irked me, though, with his statement about not wanting the child to be born into a broken home - that the UNCONCIEVED CHILD of this marriage is more motivation to expose his lying, cheating friend than the woman his friend is cheating on deserving to know the truth, and being able to protect herself from further heartache and possible disease - STIs are still a thing, OP. Sorry, but an unborn child shouldn't have been worthy of more consideration than the living, breathing woman married to the cheating POS.
Not sure if this story is real as there is too many cliches. I am always surprised when a person's first thought is that a spouse does not know that their partner is cheating. It is obvious that the "sister" is the one of the pair that is desperate for a child, and will deal with almost anything in order to get one. So if this is real the update is not surprising at all. Also, even if she did not know she would have sooner or later. All she had to do is see his phone, as calling you mistress the pizza place on your contacts is classic (it also shows how little respect he has for the mistress). If he was smart he would have left her marked as a coworker.
OP telling his wife, and allowing her to tell the sister is a loop hole in his promise to his friend that I am surprised OP did not see. Although, I have seen real life conversations like that going ugly, and the spouse being angry at the messenger rather than the adulterer, so if you are in OP's situation be very careful.
1st comment lets goooo 🎉🎉❤
so, she's using her husband.. not that he doesn't have it coming.
As the wronged party she deserves the right to handle it as she sees fit
@@shaneiceoutlaw6837 I agree.. hate to say it, but I hope she delivers a healthy baby then files for divorce w/i days of the delivery. Cheaters deserve NO mercy. So she can stick him not only for child support but all the IVF bills.. if you stray, you pay, sucka
@@shaneiceoutlaw6837 Except that she's a Pickmeisha who will absolutely use her kid to keep the husband in the marriage. She should have terminated, gotten a job, and gone for another dude who'd either adopt or give her stepchildren. She's being selfish, and I don't see this kid having a normal childhood with two stupid, selfish parents.
Why is it always the right thing to do to tell the spouse of an infidelity? Context being, if it was a one-time thing and the cheating spouse has remorse and would never EVER do it again.
Why potentially make a bad situation worse? Ethically, you should always tell the cheated spouse but in all honesty, what is gained from doing so, if it really was a one-time incident and momentary lapse of judgement and discretion?
What is gained is that the cheated-on spouse is allowed to make their own decision about their continuing relationship with all the pertinent information required to do so. To assess for themselves whether or not it really is a "one-time thing", and to _decide_ for themselves whether their partner is worth staying with.
Withholding that information robs them of that agency and makes that decision for them.
@@Vox-Multis I agree wholeheartedly. I just wonder, is there purpose to adding to the pain?
@@erauprcwa You'd be "friends" with someone for years knowing they were cheated on and not saying anything?
How much more pain will they go through when they find out years later? It always comes out! And these "one-time" cheaters... No such thing, baby-doll. Even if they NEVER s€x up anyone else ever again, there is a level of duplicity in that person that they are still not to be trusted and will probably act out in other nefarious ways.
Better to rip the band-aid off now and do a good deed to prevent worse pain and consequences, later, toward the innocent person.
What is gained is knowledge about the situation. About reality as it is, instead of a delusion, a fantasy which is not true. A whole lot of hurt comes from us not recognizing what kind of a situation we're actually in and building a life on false assumptions. And while learning the truth can be painful in and of itself, at least it puts us in an informed position about the reality we are in, and therefore helps us decide for ourselves how to manage it and what the best choices for us are. Living a lie or a fantasy is not an empowered thing to do (for the cheated party) nor an adult thing to do (for the cheater). It's what people who are afraid of facing reality, of responsibility and accountability choose, and spinning a tail of "what is gained from telling the spouse" are the kind of people who prefer to build a life on pretences instead of on truth. I would never recommend anyone to buy into that narrative, which is unfortunately very prevalent in our society.
This was not a one-time thing. He said it was going on for a month. And what is gained is bodily autonomy. Wife gets to make the decision as to whether or not she wants to sleepwith someone who is sleeping with someone else. Cheating is actually not just emotionally devastating, but can be physically devastating as well. It's a violation of both. Can you imagine being monogamous and going to the gynecologist to find out you've got syphilis or gonorrhea? I know someone who experienced this and it shattered her world. The yahoo in this story knew it would hurt his wife and chose to do it anyway. That's why he kept it a secret. And hiding it isnt about sparing her. He just doesn't want to face consequences that his choice (that he knows she won't like) might lead her to make a choice he won't like.
in too deep? cut it off? there's some freudian slips for you
Everyone is the AH. OP for considering covering it up, The cheating friend. And the cheaters abusive wife.
He loves everyone but it was still not his business
OP did the right thing, but I had a suspicion that this was coming. I think the wife knew that the sister would act that way, hence the dramatic way to summon her to their house. However, I 100% disagree with you, Dusty, about the outcome. If she does conceive and bring a kid into the world, he/she is 100% screwed. One or both parents will be resentful, and the kid will eventually find out that the reason why Pickmeisha stayed is because of him or her. And don't think that this woman won't let him or her forget it. Cheating is a form of abuse, and you better believe he'll do it again. A lot of men cheat during the pregnancy and postpartum; this guy will, too. Resentment WILL turn into neglect and emotional abuse of the child. The wife is not doing this because she "can't afford it;" she's doing it out of a desire to control her husband. Both people are incredibly selfish, and I'd distance myself from both of them, if I were the OP.