Hi Sid! I can relate to invisibility! I came out and disappeared!! Was such a strange experience, like being reborn, but rather than having a parent nurture me whilst I grew and formed my personality and identity, I was thrown into the world floundering on my own!! Its such a scary feeling but its so liberating, to really get to know yourself all over again. My advice would be to surround yourself with people that "see" you and help to confirm your maleness. The rest will come in time :)
Haha!!! yes my gesturing is mental! Ive always done it...but it seems to be getting more elaborate! people duck in my presence! I think your right bro, TS will assist the confidence, and over time as I change pysically and grow more into myself, my new identuty will take place, bits of the old reassembled, mixed in with the new. So glad to be sharing this with you :)
Cheers my friend! its so strange, to on the one hand be so incredibly pleased to be finally seen as the man I am, but on the other to be questioning why and finding it wierd! as you wisely say, my mind will eventually ease into my idebtity and the mental questioning will stop! Good fun this isnt it! Much love to you fella :)
Hello sir!! The internal dialogue is far worse pre T, I feel for you. It really does get sooo much better once on T, the paranoia lessens greatly. It just changes from awkwardness to questioning.....did that person really just see me as a bloke....no questions asked..?! Thanks fella, Im hoping it wont be long before the image in the mirror smiles back all man at me :) drams therapy was interesting! Scary....but interesting!
your vids really do help me, you speak MY mind, in a way I can't seem to articulate that well lately. Thanks for putting things in such a logical and insightful way!
I am in the time machine. I am here. I mean I am literally here. It's driving me nuts, the questioning, the second guessing, the inner dialogue. The great thing is that I see present day you and so I know all will be well and it is part of the journey. Phew :-)
Wow this is one Id forgotten! I think I should do an update on this! Yes my friend, it is indeed part of the journey....remember to enjoy how it unfolds and trust it!
Haha!! You should have heard me talking to myself like that in my crazy days!!! It will indeed get better....lots of mental changes taking places which takes time :) Def up for meeting up!!!
Yes Finn, I found that when I started allowing some of the hair grow out on my face that it assisted me in accepting myself as the male I am. I had the uneasiness, going back and forth and feeling weird too when others when call me sir, Mr. ,etc. This is a part of the transition that some dont talk about. So, as you ease into the new body your mind will too. You answered your own question, lol. Love the raw video once again.
Hey jack, I get where you are coming from. rebuilding an identity is so hard, especially when we are constantly changing. Its going to take time to settle into our new selves and work out who we are and what we want. There is not "trans enough" or "man enough", its all about working out whats "you enough". Youll get there buddy Im sure..:)
Ah thank you so much! *blushes*. It is a wierd thing to negotiate, our inner image is made over years and years...but then was never congruent with what was on the outside anyway....and now that the outer image is finally beginging to look like the inner image...its still hard to trust that we are really being "seen"!!! Its going to take years to properly build the true image and feel comfortable. And yes, finding out how to be me and not get sucked into the macho crap is a work in progress!!
You know what tbh I thought at first that you were a cyst male and I still feel you are bc of the fact that you are an awesome guy and keep on moving forward
Mate thats so bloody true, i actually hadnt realised how much Id been looking for validation from others....but you my wise friend are very right! My bag is emptied :D :D Drama therapy was interesting and Im realy hopefully its going to be very very good for my soul....will keep you updated. Cheeeeeeers my insightful friend!!
Finn, I think because we have had this thought pattern of "am I being read correctly" for so so long (like years) it will take a good while to go away. I think its like a grief in the sense that time will be the healer of our constant "am I passing" worries and that nagging voice will eventually go. This video has really made me sit and think, what will I be like Post-T? when I am getting more and more masculine (I hope) and I know I will be thinking the exact same thoughts as you are now.
Aaaargh... I'm already going through this internal dialogue, and I'm not on T yet. Nightmare. I'm also hoping that it will sort itself out in time. All I can say to you Finn, is that with your new voice, which is seriously male, and your look, which is male, and your face changing so much, it won't be long before you see that guy in the mirror every day. Congrats on getting to the drama group. Very brave. Hope it helps! :-)
Hi Matt! Oh god I relate to that! When I first put on my binder I was super paranoid! Turns out nobody noticed....not even my girlfriend!! haha!!! Its a very awkward experience transition....having to kinda refit ourselves and get to know our bodies all over again. Its a great experience but at the same time I often feel like a very gangly and awkward young boy!!! Fun indeed! Cheers my friend :)
Hi Jay, yes it is just a case of letting the brain rewire and gradually that nagging voice will go. I used to get so paranoid about "was I passing" and now that has gone...only to be replaced with "do they see me as a real man"....so i guess that will be replaced too along the way! Its lots of little steps our journey and patience is the key. Dont know what id do without the help advice and support of the trans community, Id not have a clue whats going on or how to make sense of it all!
I like what tobyr3 said, as I'm a bit older than you are Finn and have thought much about how long I trained my brain to cope and just to get on with life. My wife votes yes on the drama therapy so do give us an update on that one!
Another awesome vlog Finn and I totally can relate what I will say is I'm a few days shy of two years on T and the dialog in my head has 90% disappeared every now and then it will raise its ugly head but it does get easier Mate
Can completely relate to this video, Finn. It's such a weird space for us to navigate! Half of me likes it when I get referred to by other guys as 'fella' and so on, but half of me feels weird, because I can't stand all that macho crap, and as you say - a part of you is kind of anticipating it going wrong. I personally think that I'll feel so much more relaxed when I've had my top surgery! You don't look ambiguous in any way, but I think we all feel that way at some point. So handsome my friend!
As you know I'm pre T so can't actually relate yet, but I can fully see what you're saying and I'd imagine it's to be expected. I'm 100% sure it will clear up over time, it's still early days. It reminds me of how I've felt the last couple of days over my 1st binder. I wore it to work, bearing in mind I'm not out at work, and have been paranoid that every client or their parents would notice my chest has disappeared. It's an odd thing to experience. Funny what transition throws at us :)
Hi mate, yes Toby is very right and I really had forgot about that element. Its going to take a while for my brain to rewire and not be so cautionary and questioning. One day Ill just take it for granted that Im seen as male. the novelty element likely doesnt help matters. Im so nervous about today....will update on thurs! thanks so much my friend :)
I think drama therapy would be marvelous for you, Finn! Let me know how it goes. As you know better than most, our minds are so powerful; they can make us believe anything. You know you're male...and, like all of us...on a spectrum. Don't wait for others to validate you; give all baggage back to whom it belongs. Time and exploration will help you be more comfortable with yourself. Carry a light bag, my brother.
Im glad its not just me that experiences this. crazy isnt it, you want to stop the people talking to you and say "excuse me, but do you see me as a man or do you find my gender ambiguous"...!!! I just want to KNOW how they are seeing me!!! i think you and I are in a similar place, just starting to get out there and properly socialise with males and that'll help us both loads....as will moob removal! Love ya budstar :)
I know it sounds contradictory, but in a way it's comforting to hear that others can relate to what you describe in this video. It means we're not oddballs for having these self image issues. I know the issues don't go away just because someone tells you you come across as completely male, because the reason why the issues are there to begin with is not that we now look male but that we once did NOT look male (our actual gender). And speaking of actually looking male: You DO look every bit as male as cis gendered guys do, and you're a very handsome guy at that! hope that it may help if only in a small way to hear this from me and others. At the end of the day - at the end of EVERY day - make sure to be proud of who you are and how well you have made your true self visible as well as audible to the world. Your future holds great promise, my friend, and you're a strong person, a kind person, an intelligent, brave, and very unique person in what you have overcome and what you have already achieved. ......... P.S. From what I can understand the inward constant checking yourself out is part of the transition process, meaning it WILL go away with time, not all of a sudden but gradually as it becomes more and more the norm for you that others just simply DO see a 'bloke' (or 'dude', 'guy', man...) when they look at you. Also, you yourself will eventually no longer give 'female cues' as your subconscious becomes used to the fact that it is no longer necessary to maintain a habitual mimicking femininity since everybody around you expect you to behave male. But I think it's a process, just not a never ending one.
+Vlad Prodigy hello my friend. This is a very old video now but i am so glad you commented on it because it has reminded me of just how far Ive come! I am now so much more comfortable in myself and in my identity, exactly as you say, its been a process over time and now I rarely check myself in the way I used to, it still does crop up but not as much. Thank you so much for your in credibly kind and thoughtful comments.
Hi Jay, isnt it strange! Here we are, desperately want to be seen for the men we are....yet when it happens we dont trust it!!! As so many others have said, our over cautious minds and going to take time to be rewired and accept we really are being seen as male. A friend just reminded me as well that its only us who are aware of gender variance, most people just take our gender on face value....we look like men....we are men...end of! The questioning will go eventually...Im sure! :) Thanks man:D
Oh man, I love your videos, Finn!! You're a funny bloke! You make complete sense to me. I like how you stuck around the store because you wanted to extend the positive male-reading experience. I totally do that and relish every "he/him/sir/mr." I also find myself really enjoying getting hit on by gay guys and will extend flirting sessions, because of getting properly read by them. And they're direct with their compliments.
I know this is an old video, but it's still helpful. Please keep all of your transition videos available. It would be great if all of your videos were available on dvd that we could buy so we spend less time sifting through you tube, and more time learning in a chronological order about our journey. Just one question Finn, does your or our mind ever shift from the knowledge of being born female? That knowledge for me is still nagging in the back of my head.
Hello my friend. Yes, I decided long ago that keeping these old videos up is important. I was so grateful to trans youtubers I found who had videos going back years, it let me know I was trans enough, and that transition would be successful for me too. So now I pay that forward and keep mine up. Besides, I am proud of my journey of becoming who I am! Re the mind shift, its a really good question, I must make an update video about this, but yes, remembering my origins does get less, especially since completing my lower surgery 2 years ago. It is a natural part of the process of our minds and bodies changing, but we can also help to improve how that knowledge effects us by growing a deeper sense of self acceptance and certainty of ones self, if that makes sense? I have spoken a little biit about this in my gender dysphoria videos playlist ruclips.net/p/PL-xdbMjLqelLppFbRaN3hVk-q5OK9ZStk And yes navigating my videos can be challenging.... do have a LOT of videos. I have organised them into playlists, but I am not against the idea of creating DVD's if they are wanted! I am always looking for new things to add to my Kofi shop to help raise funds to support my work! ko-fi.com/finlaygames/shop Hope that helps!
I'm in the same boat bud, at work I worry that my bosses know and have talked about it and are just going along and at the same time I'm hanging out with my co-workers and they all just see me as the man I am. when I'm with the guy co-workers it's awesome to be talking about stuff that guys talk about but then I start thinking my chest is showing or my voice is going higher and I can't fully enjoy things. I believe top surgery will help majorly
Hello buddy! Im out of the loop with you my dear friend!! Glad it lessens....maybe it is still to do with dysphoria then....and maybe after top it will improve....or maybe we will always feel a bit concious of our difference? I hope it lessens too...I guess its an ongoing journey of making peace with ourselves and getting secure in our identity?
Cheers mate, i think its likely the novelty of finally being read correctly, is making me notice and question way to much, in time it will just be normal and natural I guess.....hope so anyway....thanks for giving me hope!!
Its only natural I would say Broda, Its a new body, new identity and so stands to reason new insecurities. I think also you have remnants of your old identity still, top surgery may give you a lot more confidence. BTW your hand movements are epic, I would out for any low flying planes seeking to land!!
Oh yeah, I totally relate to this. I really relish when I am read male and treated male. But I do do this second guessing and wonder when they'll figure out that I am not quite what they think. Or wondering when I am not gendered at all (I think before I would have been quite happy for those times.) I've also had people say "you look completely male". I never believe this. :)
Ha! cheers fella! it seems impossible for me to be serious...even when Im talking seriously..lol! yeah my store experience was fantastic! I too relish every experience like that, the happiness it gives me is so incredibly sweet. Just need to stop questioning it so much! lol to you enjoying the male attention....Ive had that too....and i like it for the same reasons as you! Why not, your a good looking guy ;) Cheers Kai!
You know what im transgender woman and i totally relate to what your going threw. I know its hard but do the best you can focus on the follow your heart. Let people think what ever the hell they want to say about you. How you see your self is important. What other people think it doesn't matter. I never get called he or she its alway hi dear thank you dear plz dear. And thats okay hahaha.
This was (and still is) a big problem for me. I have people telling me how I look but it took me a long time to look in the mirror and see a dude. The part that hasn't gotten away is the second guessing!! I know what I want for my body but I can't shake the "what if"s. I am excited for top surgery but I'm not totally comfortable with my pronouns and name especially :/ I almost don't feel like I'm man enough or trans enough :/
Yeah I get it in bathrooms too! Now i can use the urinals I feel better....but I sometimes wonder if men look and think ..."wow thats a talented woman" lmao! yes, our paranoia will dissapate soon Im sure as we grow more into ourselves :)
off topic but just an observation...you realise your "testosterone years" will be for the rest of your life, right? So...I'm expecting to see vids when you're 80, bro!!!! hahahaa
Thanks so much mate, and its reassuring to know that the voice does get quieter over time. Cant believe you are almost 2 years old!!!!
Hi Sid! I can relate to invisibility! I came out and disappeared!! Was such a strange experience, like being reborn, but rather than having a parent nurture me whilst I grew and formed my personality and identity, I was thrown into the world floundering on my own!! Its such a scary feeling but its so liberating, to really get to know yourself all over again. My advice would be to surround yourself with people that "see" you and help to confirm your maleness. The rest will come in time :)
Haha!!! yes my gesturing is mental! Ive always done it...but it seems to be getting more elaborate! people duck in my presence! I think your right bro, TS will assist the confidence, and over time as I change pysically and grow more into myself, my new identuty will take place, bits of the old reassembled, mixed in with the new. So glad to be sharing this with you :)
Cheers my friend! its so strange, to on the one hand be so incredibly pleased to be finally seen as the man I am, but on the other to be questioning why and finding it wierd! as you wisely say, my mind will eventually ease into my idebtity and the mental questioning will stop! Good fun this isnt it! Much love to you fella :)
Hello sir!! The internal dialogue is far worse pre T, I feel for you. It really does get sooo much better once on T, the paranoia lessens greatly. It just changes from awkwardness to questioning.....did that person really just see me as a bloke....no questions asked..?! Thanks fella, Im hoping it wont be long before the image in the mirror smiles back all man at me :) drams therapy was interesting! Scary....but interesting!
your vids really do help me, you speak MY mind, in a way I can't seem to articulate that well lately. Thanks for putting things in such a logical and insightful way!
I am in the time machine. I am here. I mean I am literally here. It's driving me nuts, the questioning, the second guessing, the inner dialogue. The great thing is that I see present day you and so I know all will be well and it is part of the journey. Phew :-)
Wow this is one Id forgotten! I think I should do an update on this! Yes my friend, it is indeed part of the journey....remember to enjoy how it unfolds and trust it!
Haha!! You should have heard me talking to myself like that in my crazy days!!! It will indeed get better....lots of mental changes taking places which takes time :) Def up for meeting up!!!
Hi my friend :) Glad to hear its gotten better for you, gives me hope! These things take time I guess?! Thank you so much :)
Hey Trevor, thats exactly my experience! Its frustrating! Im finally being read as a man consistantly and i cant stop questioning it!!!!!
Yes Finn, I found that when I started allowing some of the hair grow out on my face that it assisted me in accepting myself as the male I am. I had the uneasiness, going back and forth and feeling weird too when others when call me sir, Mr. ,etc. This is a part of the transition that some dont talk about. So, as you ease into the new body your mind will too. You answered your own question, lol. Love the raw video once again.
Hey jack, I get where you are coming from. rebuilding an identity is so hard, especially when we are constantly changing. Its going to take time to settle into our new selves and work out who we are and what we want. There is not "trans enough" or "man enough", its all about working out whats "you enough". Youll get there buddy Im sure..:)
Ah thank you so much! *blushes*. It is a wierd thing to negotiate, our inner image is made over years and years...but then was never congruent with what was on the outside anyway....and now that the outer image is finally beginging to look like the inner image...its still hard to trust that we are really being "seen"!!! Its going to take years to properly build the true image and feel comfortable. And yes, finding out how to be me and not get sucked into the macho crap is a work in progress!!
in any case I do think you expressed it brilliantly here. I think it's only natural at this stage to question and enjoy it all at the same time.
You know what tbh I thought at first that you were a cyst male and I still feel you are bc of the fact that you are an awesome guy and keep on moving forward
Mate thats so bloody true, i actually hadnt realised how much Id been looking for validation from others....but you my wise friend are very right! My bag is emptied :D :D Drama therapy was interesting and Im realy hopefully its going to be very very good for my soul....will keep you updated. Cheeeeeeers my insightful friend!!
Finn, I think because we have had this thought pattern of "am I being read correctly" for so so long (like years) it will take a good while to go away. I think its like a grief in the sense that time will be the healer of our constant "am I passing" worries and that nagging voice will eventually go. This video has really made me sit and think, what will I be like Post-T? when I am getting more and more masculine (I hope) and I know I will be thinking the exact same thoughts as you are now.
Aaaargh... I'm already going through this internal dialogue, and I'm not on T yet. Nightmare. I'm also hoping that it will sort itself out in time. All I can say to you Finn, is that with your new voice, which is seriously male, and your look, which is male, and your face changing so much, it won't be long before you see that guy in the mirror every day. Congrats on getting to the drama group. Very brave. Hope it helps! :-)
Thanks so much mate! Im glad they help you....makes my ramblings worthwhile!!
We will get through this and come out stronger men !!! love ya too :)
Can't wait to hear about drama therapy :) :) :)
Hi Matt! Oh god I relate to that! When I first put on my binder I was super paranoid! Turns out nobody noticed....not even my girlfriend!! haha!!! Its a very awkward experience transition....having to kinda refit ourselves and get to know our bodies all over again. Its a great experience but at the same time I often feel like a very gangly and awkward young boy!!! Fun indeed! Cheers my friend :)
Hi Jay, yes it is just a case of letting the brain rewire and gradually that nagging voice will go. I used to get so paranoid about "was I passing" and now that has gone...only to be replaced with "do they see me as a real man"....so i guess that will be replaced too along the way! Its lots of little steps our journey and patience is the key. Dont know what id do without the help advice and support of the trans community, Id not have a clue whats going on or how to make sense of it all!
I like what tobyr3 said, as I'm a bit older than you are Finn and have thought much about how long I trained my brain to cope and just to get on with life. My wife votes yes on the drama therapy so do give us an update on that one!
Another awesome vlog Finn and I totally can relate what I will say is I'm a few days shy of two years on T and the dialog in my head has 90% disappeared every now and then it will raise its ugly head but it does get easier Mate
Can completely relate to this video, Finn. It's such a weird space for us to navigate! Half of me likes it when I get referred to by other guys as 'fella' and so on, but half of me feels weird, because I can't stand all that macho crap, and as you say - a part of you is kind of anticipating it going wrong. I personally think that I'll feel so much more relaxed when I've had my top surgery! You don't look ambiguous in any way, but I think we all feel that way at some point. So handsome my friend!
As you know I'm pre T so can't actually relate yet, but I can fully see what you're saying and I'd imagine it's to be expected. I'm 100% sure it will clear up over time, it's still early days.
It reminds me of how I've felt the last couple of days over my 1st binder. I wore it to work, bearing in mind I'm not out at work, and have been paranoid that every client or their parents would notice my chest has disappeared. It's an odd thing to experience. Funny what transition throws at us :)
Hi mate, yes Toby is very right and I really had forgot about that element. Its going to take a while for my brain to rewire and not be so cautionary and questioning. One day Ill just take it for granted that Im seen as male. the novelty element likely doesnt help matters. Im so nervous about today....will update on thurs! thanks so much my friend :)
I think drama therapy would be marvelous for you, Finn! Let me know how it goes. As you know better than most, our minds are so powerful; they can make us believe anything. You know you're male...and, like all of us...on a spectrum. Don't wait for others to validate you; give all baggage back to whom it belongs. Time and exploration will help you be more comfortable with yourself. Carry a light bag, my brother.
Ha! yes i can relate to that too! My voice does the exact same thing! Its all about wondering if we are truly being "seen" isnt it!
Im glad its not just me that experiences this. crazy isnt it, you want to stop the people talking to you and say "excuse me, but do you see me as a man or do you find my gender ambiguous"...!!! I just want to KNOW how they are seeing me!!! i think you and I are in a similar place, just starting to get out there and properly socialise with males and that'll help us both loads....as will moob removal! Love ya budstar :)
I know it sounds contradictory, but in a way it's comforting to hear that others can relate to what you describe in this video. It means we're not oddballs for having these self image issues.
I know the issues don't go away just because someone tells you you come across as completely male, because the reason why the issues are there to begin with is not that we now look male but that we once did NOT look male (our actual gender). And speaking of actually looking male: You DO look every bit as male as cis gendered guys do, and you're a very handsome guy at that! hope that it may help if only in a small way to hear this from me and others.
At the end of the day - at the end of EVERY day - make sure to be proud of who you are and how well you have made your true self visible as well as audible to the world. Your future holds great promise, my friend, and you're a strong person, a kind person, an intelligent, brave, and very unique person in what you have overcome and what you have already achieved.
.........
P.S. From what I can understand the inward constant checking yourself out is part of the transition process, meaning it WILL go away with time, not all of a sudden but gradually as it becomes more and more the norm for you that others just simply DO see a 'bloke' (or 'dude', 'guy', man...) when they look at you. Also, you yourself will eventually no longer give 'female cues' as your subconscious becomes used to the fact that it is no longer necessary to maintain a habitual mimicking femininity since everybody around you expect you to behave male. But I think it's a process, just not a never ending one.
+Vlad Prodigy hello my friend. This is a very old video now but i am so glad you commented on it because it has reminded me of just how far Ive come! I am now so much more comfortable in myself and in my identity, exactly as you say, its been a process over time and now I rarely check myself in the way I used to, it still does crop up but not as much. Thank you so much for your in credibly kind and thoughtful comments.
Hi Jay, isnt it strange! Here we are, desperately want to be seen for the men we are....yet when it happens we dont trust it!!! As so many others have said, our over cautious minds and going to take time to be rewired and accept we really are being seen as male. A friend just reminded me as well that its only us who are aware of gender variance, most people just take our gender on face value....we look like men....we are men...end of! The questioning will go eventually...Im sure! :) Thanks man:D
Oh man, I love your videos, Finn!! You're a funny bloke! You make complete sense to me. I like how you stuck around the store because you wanted to extend the positive male-reading experience. I totally do that and relish every "he/him/sir/mr." I also find myself really enjoying getting hit on by gay guys and will extend flirting sessions, because of getting properly read by them. And they're direct with their compliments.
I know this is an old video, but it's still helpful. Please keep all of your transition videos available. It would be great if all of your videos were available on dvd that we could buy so we spend less time sifting through you tube, and more time learning in a chronological order about our journey. Just one question Finn, does your or our mind ever shift from the knowledge of being born female? That knowledge for me is still nagging in the back of my head.
Hello my friend. Yes, I decided long ago that keeping these old videos up is important. I was so grateful to trans youtubers I found who had videos going back years, it let me know I was trans enough, and that transition would be successful for me too. So now I pay that forward and keep mine up. Besides, I am proud of my journey of becoming who I am!
Re the mind shift, its a really good question, I must make an update video about this, but yes, remembering my origins does get less, especially since completing my lower surgery 2 years ago. It is a natural part of the process of our minds and bodies changing, but we can also help to improve how that knowledge effects us by growing a deeper sense of self acceptance and certainty of ones self, if that makes sense? I have spoken a little biit about this in my gender dysphoria videos playlist ruclips.net/p/PL-xdbMjLqelLppFbRaN3hVk-q5OK9ZStk
And yes navigating my videos can be challenging.... do have a LOT of videos. I have organised them into playlists, but I am not against the idea of creating DVD's if they are wanted! I am always looking for new things to add to my Kofi shop to help raise funds to support my work! ko-fi.com/finlaygames/shop
Hope that helps!
@@FinnTheInfinncible Thank you Finn. 😊🤗
Oh god I can relate to that!!! I get a lot of "sons" from guys, when actually Im old enough to be their dad!!! crazy isnt it!!
I'm in the same boat bud, at work I worry that my bosses know and have talked about it and are just going along and at the same time I'm hanging out with my co-workers and they all just see me as the man I am. when I'm with the guy co-workers it's awesome to be talking about stuff that guys talk about but then I start thinking my chest is showing or my voice is going higher and I can't fully enjoy things. I believe top surgery will help majorly
Hello buddy! Im out of the loop with you my dear friend!! Glad it lessens....maybe it is still to do with dysphoria then....and maybe after top it will improve....or maybe we will always feel a bit concious of our difference? I hope it lessens too...I guess its an ongoing journey of making peace with ourselves and getting secure in our identity?
Cheers mate, i think its likely the novelty of finally being read correctly, is making me notice and question way to much, in time it will just be normal and natural I guess.....hope so anyway....thanks for giving me hope!!
Its only natural I would say Broda, Its a new body, new identity and so stands to reason new insecurities. I think also you have remnants of your old identity still, top surgery may give you a lot more confidence. BTW your hand movements are epic, I would out for any low flying planes seeking to land!!
Oh yeah, I totally relate to this. I really relish when I am read male and treated male. But I do do this second guessing and wonder when they'll figure out that I am not quite what they think. Or wondering when I am not gendered at all (I think before I would have been quite happy for those times.) I've also had people say "you look completely male". I never believe this. :)
Thanks buddy :) Drama therapy is going great btw!!!
Aw cheers dude!!!
Ha! cheers fella! it seems impossible for me to be serious...even when Im talking seriously..lol! yeah my store experience was fantastic! I too relish every experience like that, the happiness it gives me is so incredibly sweet. Just need to stop questioning it so much! lol to you enjoying the male attention....Ive had that too....and i like it for the same reasons as you! Why not, your a good looking guy ;) Cheers Kai!
You know what im transgender woman and i totally relate to what your going threw. I know its hard but do the best you can focus on the follow your heart. Let people think what ever the hell they want to say about you. How you see your self is important. What other people think it doesn't matter. I never get called he or she its alway hi dear thank you dear plz dear. And thats okay hahaha.
Lol yes!! I have no intention of reverting to oestrogen!!!
This was (and still is) a big problem for me. I have people telling me how I look but it took me a long time to look in the mirror and see a dude. The part that hasn't gotten away is the second guessing!! I know what I want for my body but I can't shake the "what if"s. I am excited for top surgery but I'm not totally comfortable with my pronouns and name especially :/ I almost don't feel like I'm man enough or trans enough :/
Yeah I get it in bathrooms too! Now i can use the urinals I feel better....but I sometimes wonder if men look and think ..."wow thats a talented woman" lmao! yes, our paranoia will dissapate soon Im sure as we grow more into ourselves :)
post T? You mean after you've been on T for a while? There's no post T, I mean it's for life....
the drag is off..LOL..the voice disappears and your forget about it :)..very very soon.
off topic but just an observation...you realise your "testosterone years" will be for the rest of your life, right? So...I'm expecting to see vids when you're 80, bro!!!! hahahaa