Came here after watching Allen Parr’s video on his top youtubers that he recommends and I’m glad he saved y’all as a bonus because i love the content! Keep it up!
My ex of 6 years had the first 3 red flags. She has a distant relationship to her dad ("daddy issues"), she said she always needed her space (avoidant attachment style) and rarely could say sorry. Needless to say, our relationship was a disaster. She cheated, never was wrong with anything, and our relationship had very little intimacy. Its hard to see these things from the beginning, but the relationship to her/his family should be easy to spot from early on. See how often he or she says I am sorry.
You did it again; knocked it out of the park! What's funny is that often times people think they are the exception and the other person won't do that to them - wrong! The inevitable always happens. Thanks Eric for the great advice of red flags to never ignore.
About #5: if you're looking into debt for clues, you can make this point more general, such as: "Consumer/Spending habits". This includes instant gratification, as you say, but also reflects addictions, compensating and coping behaviors, etc. The reason this goes way beyond debt is because you're talking about early signs. You can tell that debt will come if the person has unsustainable consuming habits, even if while dating they have no debt.
Red flag #3 almost knocked me over. Apologies don’t come easy to my spouse. It is very rare. If he tries, it sounds like this “ I’m sorry if you THINK...”. or I’m sorry but You....”. It’s confusing because I can’t tell if he is sorry but can’t admit or he isn’t sorry and just wants to shut me up. Either way, the apology doesn’t come across as sincere. Also, this is a GREAT list of 🚩!
L E That can definitely be tough. You might ask him sometime when things are going well with you two. Ask why it seems to be tough to say sorry. Sorry isn’t necessarily an admission of guilt or wrongdoing but an acknowledgment that someone else felt hurt, let down, disappointed, etc by what happened. Some people have a hard time saying sorry because then that means they were wrong and being wrong feeds an insecurity that they don’t measure up. There can be many reasons for struggling with sorry. Dig and see if you can find his
Wow, that's a good points bro, that's very true, being a Christian we should be set a good example not just to the people outside, but most importantly to the people around us, like to our spouse or to our respective families, God bles u bro as always
@@RelationShots Homeschooling 😅🤦🏽♀️ the struggle is real! I picked up that book you recommended too! "Losing Control and liking it." So far it's a pretty good read!
I question no.s 1 & 2; no 1 isn't necessarily about the answer given at all- this needs to be explored not assumed. Some people have had abusive upbringings and the healthy option is to cut the family of origin out. No.2 private can mean different things, maybe they have an avoidant attachment style, the question is how self aware are they? Are they working on themselves or not?
I agree with you. A red flag simply needs you need to have more conversations around this because it could potentially be problematic depending on what the root driver is
I know I'm not ready to date again. But when is it the right time to date again after a 11 1/2 year marriage. I know that I have issues that I no longer want to keep "private" any more. Working on paying off my debt. When I first separated I was thinking I didn't want to get married again.
I would say work on the areas you know you want to improve like the debt you mentioned. Then maybe do some counseling just to allow someone to poke around at some other areas maybe you weren’t aware of to make sure you feel comfortable and ready to go
With my ex wife we have 2 young girl's 4 and 6 year's. This is one of the area's where I find it hard to date again because their still so young. Also I'm dealing with the area of pornography. Right now I'm overcoming thanks to the grace of God.
Much simpler, two unaware people that lack understanding and are emotionally immature. Get out of your own way & know you are the shoe that drops & screws things up. Take a hard painful honest look at yourself & determine your going to grow up & so why won't you? Its fear & cowards take it out on others. A world of fearful cowards that refuse to look at themselves. So you point at others! Stop being a professional victim. Get in your own face & leard what you've been missing that will complete you. Two F-ed people won't heal together. Each person is to grow up and get emotionally matured, then when stable the two will be able to communicate & decide if you want to be part of each other's life's or not. Remember you are your worst problem! Get to work or stay a coward! Have a nice day 😊
Man you are on 🔥 🔥 🔥!! All of these are on point man! Keep speaking the truth.
THE BEAT by Allen Parr Appreciate the encouragement AP!!! Your touch is a part of every video bro!!
Came here after watching Allen Parr’s video on his top youtubers that he recommends and I’m glad he saved y’all as a bonus because i love the content! Keep it up!
Thanks Mark! Appreciate you stopping by and checking out the channel.
Same here!!
@@karlolsen7656 Awesome! Glad you’re here!
Late to the party but this is solid
(Allen Parr sent me here hahah)
Better late than never!!! haha. Thanks for stopping by and saying hi!!
My ex of 6 years had the first 3 red flags. She has a distant relationship to her dad ("daddy issues"), she said she always needed her space (avoidant attachment style) and rarely could say sorry. Needless to say, our relationship was a disaster. She cheated, never was wrong with anything, and our relationship had very little intimacy. Its hard to see these things from the beginning, but the relationship to her/his family should be easy to spot from early on. See how often he or she says I am sorry.
You did it again; knocked it out of the park! What's funny is that often times people think they are the exception and the other person won't do that to them - wrong! The inevitable always happens. Thanks Eric for the great advice of red flags to never ignore.
LaToya B. People always think they’re the exception. That self-deception sneaks up on us every time!
Because he’s 5’6 that was so outta pocket I laughed😭.
Hahaha 🤷🏻♂️
About #5: if you're looking into debt for clues, you can make this point more general, such as: "Consumer/Spending habits". This includes instant gratification, as you say, but also reflects addictions, compensating and coping behaviors, etc. The reason this goes way beyond debt is because you're talking about early signs. You can tell that debt will come if the person has unsustainable consuming habits, even if while dating they have no debt.
Portubed Good points!
Red flag #3 almost knocked me over. Apologies don’t come easy to my spouse. It is very rare. If he tries, it sounds like this “ I’m sorry if you THINK...”. or I’m sorry but You....”. It’s confusing because I can’t tell if he is sorry but can’t admit or he isn’t sorry and just wants to shut me up. Either way, the apology doesn’t come across as sincere. Also, this is a GREAT list of 🚩!
L E That can definitely be tough. You might ask him sometime when things are going well with you two. Ask why it seems to be tough to say sorry. Sorry isn’t necessarily an admission of guilt or wrongdoing but an acknowledgment that someone else felt hurt, let down, disappointed, etc by what happened. Some people have a hard time saying sorry because then that means they were wrong and being wrong feeds an insecurity that they don’t measure up. There can be many reasons for struggling with sorry. Dig and see if you can find his
RelationShots I love your advice and will try this! Will let you know how this goes.
L E Look forward to hearing how it goes
Wow, spot on. God saved me from a bad relationship.
Got to love it when you dodge a bullet
Wow, that's a good points bro, that's very true, being a Christian we should be set a good example not just to the people outside, but most importantly to the people around us, like to our spouse or to our respective families, God bles u bro as always
Run, Forrest, Ruuuuuun!
Thank for this Pastor E! You the bomb 👊🏼
Bri Henderson Run Bri run!!!! How you surviving quarantine?
@@RelationShots Homeschooling 😅🤦🏽♀️ the struggle is real! I picked up that book you recommended too! "Losing Control and liking it." So far it's a pretty good read!
Great words of wisdom! Every red flag you mentioned is right on. Love these videos!
Kari Shone Thanks Kari. Have the boys watch it next time they try dating some whack job!
@@RelationShots seriously!
Today I realized I'm the problem 😂
Danielle Rice 😳🙈 I guess the good news is that you’re the person in control of you so there’s always hope for change 😁
Haha really? Thats nice to realise
Same 😮
I question no.s 1 & 2; no 1 isn't necessarily about the answer given at all- this needs to be explored not assumed. Some people have had abusive upbringings and the healthy option is to cut the family of origin out. No.2 private can mean different things, maybe they have an avoidant attachment style, the question is how self aware are they? Are they working on themselves or not?
I agree with you. A red flag simply needs you need to have more conversations around this because it could potentially be problematic depending on what the root driver is
@@RelationShots great, thanks for clarifying that. Thanks for your work, I have learned a lot from the videos you post.
@@seeinginthedark4581 Glad you are finding value in the videos and thanks for taking the time to engage
Thank you for sharing these good key points.
tanneatha payton Thanks for the encouragement!
Great advice! Thank you for sharing!
T. A. Essex Hope it was helpful
That is straight up wisdom there. Thank you Eric
Tim Green Thanks Tim!!
Good content as usual!
Great set of tips!
Natasha Jones Thanks Natasha!
Facts! 💯💪🏼 I’m trying to help people avoid some of these things now. Will share this video. Good stuff.
Ahmad Rashad Maybe if they hear it twice they won’t be as likely to ignore it! 😁
I know I'm not ready to date again. But when is it the right time to date again after a 11 1/2 year marriage. I know that I have issues that I no longer want to keep "private" any more. Working on paying off my debt. When I first separated I was thinking I didn't want to get married again.
I would say work on the areas you know you want to improve like the debt you mentioned. Then maybe do some counseling just to allow someone to poke around at some other areas maybe you weren’t aware of to make sure you feel comfortable and ready to go
With my ex wife we have 2 young girl's 4 and 6 year's. This is one of the area's where I find it hard to date again because their still so young. Also I'm dealing with the area of pornography. Right now I'm overcoming thanks to the grace of God.
All such great advice!
Sidney Tornio Thanks Sid!!
Much simpler, two unaware people that lack understanding and are emotionally immature. Get out of your own way & know you are the shoe that drops & screws things up.
Take a hard painful honest look at yourself & determine your going to grow up & so why won't you? Its fear & cowards take it out on others. A world of fearful cowards that refuse to look at themselves. So you point at others! Stop being a professional victim. Get in your own face & leard what you've been missing that will complete you. Two F-ed people won't heal together. Each person is to grow up and get emotionally matured, then when stable the two will be able to communicate & decide if you want to be part of each other's life's or not.
Remember you are your worst problem! Get to work or stay a coward! Have a nice day 😊
Can’t disagree with you! 👍🏼
A man will treat his wife the way he treats his mother. Is number 4
That’s often the case, unless he’s got an absent or highly dysfunctional mother
New car because you're 5'6", lucky I'm 5'4". and car-less
😂
Haven't dated in 25 years. I gave up when the so called Christian men I date were not so Christ like.
Not 5'6" 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Colette Beckley I know, just lost all my 5’6” and under viewers 🤦🏻♂️
💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
💕🌻
This is dead in
Matt Kelderman, REALTOR If the shoe fits?!?!
🚩🚩🚩
Pamela Marie 😳