How to Rebuild Trust After Lying in a Relationship
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- How to Rebuild Trust After Lying in a Relationship. Is it possible to trust someone again after you have discovered they lied to you? Is there a difference between someone who lies occasionally and someone who has a pattern of lying? What are the reasons people lie and does it matter, or is lying just lying regardless of why a person does it? If you have broken trust through dishonesty we'll cover how to rebuild trust again. We'll tackle all that and more in this video.
DOWNLOAD A FREE GUIDE TO INTIMACY
www.altaredmarriage.com/
RELATIONSHOTS BOOK
www.amazon.com/Relationshots-...
RELATIONSHIP BLUEPRINT COURSE
go.altaredmarriage.com/relati...
ALTARED MARRIAGE MEMBERSHIP:
www.altaredmarriage.com/membe...
MARRIAGE EXPERIENCE: 4-day retreat
www.altaredmarriage.com/marri...
SINGLES EXPERIENCE: 4-day retreat
www.altaredmarriage.com/singl...
DATING DETOX CLASS:
go.altaredmarriage.com/dating...
ONLINE COURSE: "Closing the Communication Gap" - 70% OFF NOW!!
go.altaredmarriage.com/commun...
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Instagram | / altaredmarriage
Facebook | / altaredmarriage
Twitter | / marriagealtared
Website | altaredmarriage.com
MAGNETIC MARRIAGE BOOK
www.amazon.com/Magnetic-Marri...
SPEAKER REQUESTS
Want to have Eric speak at your conference, retreat, event, or date night?
www.altaredmarriage.com/connect/
SUPPORT THE MINISTRY
www.altaredmarriage.com/support/
MERCHANDISE
teespring.com/stores/altaredm...
Keys to rebuilding trust:
1. Take full responsibility.
Don't blame anyone else. Don't make excuses. Take ownership of your lie.
2. Evaluate yourself.
Self-evaluate why you lied. What was your motive? Conflict avoiding? Fear of rejection? Bragging? Deal with the underlying reason/issues so you can prevent doing it again.
3. Commit to unwavering honesty.
Overcommunication at all costs. Omit no details.
4. Be patient.
Rebuilding trust takes time. The other person may question and doubt things for a while. They may assume the worst when there are any gaps in time or story.
5. Be consistent.
Be true to your word. Show up consistently. Fulfill your promises consistently. Consistently finish what you say you're going to do. Be consistent in your new patterns and behaviors.
I’ve lied on three separate occasions to my partner to avoid conflict. He doesn’t think he can let go of what I did. We are broken up & taking some time apart. Im using this time to really self reflect & to try & break those negative habits/tendencies Ive had. I WANT so desperately to rebuild trust, I just dont know if it’s possible at this point after what I’ve done to him. No infidelity whatsoever. Just lying.
Hi, how are you doing with that? I'm in a similar situation, trying to address my reflexive lying and hiding things as a method of conflict avoidance, I may have ruined a 13 year relationship but same, no infidelity, just lies
Im on the other end of this same situation... Being lied to and trying to rebuild trust after some months apart.
From my side, accountability and consciousness are both what I find to be critical for resolving the issue and also what i'm struggling with the most. It's important to be serious and realistic about the many times long lasting effects your actions will have on your partner's life and then taking responsibility for fixing it
He has every right not to let go of what you did liars don't deserve anything from loyal men.
Thank you for sharing!
'Just lying' is the issue from a self aware liar
Great video. You’re so right…broken trust cannot be “fixed.” It must be “healed” through consistency over time.
Having been accused of doing something I didn’t do is hard to rebuild trust from. When she believes completely in her head a failure of me, only in her head and not having anyway to disprove the allegations makes even starting to rebuild a huge question of where let along how. I’m trying to be show my deliberately honest life in anyway I can, without it looking fake. Very hard and very stressed. Thanks for the video.
Yeah, that can be hard to rebuild if the other person already has decided something in advance or without objective proof
you hit it on the head. Am ready to start the road to restoration of trust. thx Eric
HOW! I believe in rebuilding trust back to what it was before it was broken. Thank you for explaining it so well to help us communicate it and work on it.
Some great insights here as usual. Thanks, Eric
Glad you enjoyed!
THANK YOU THIS HELPED YOUR THE MAN!
thank you for making this video i just lost the trust of a person i really love
Sorry to hear that. Hope it can help your process.
Definitely one of the best videos on approaching this issue! Others are absolutely terrible and make it sound like the victim needs to do all the work. There ARE things the victim can do... like not continually guilt trip and help communicate ways to rebuild.
I would agree. Part of the forgiveness is a decision to not use the offense as a weapon whenever they want.
Thank you I needed this. God bless you 🙏 💜💯
Glad you enjoyed it!!
This guy is 100 right on
I am one of those that have an ongoing pattern . Of lying from childhood. I’ve come a long way in less than a year. I want my family back, we’re stronger together and my ex being a single mom with our child is destroying me
Good for you for acknowledging and working on it! Consistency over time is the key to rebuilding trust
Excellent thank you.
Glad you enjoyed
i messed up my relanship with my girlfriend and i have been looking all night to heal us i feel so bad to the youtube comment section i will never lie to her again and at all cost i will be honest
Thank you so much sir
Glad you enjoyed
Great video sir. You also mentioned a video about when taking full responsibility is not acknowledged. Will you please send me the link?
It’s so hard after all the lies I’ve told her and broken promises with no action.
Now that she is not treating the relationship like she used when we first started, with constant and quick communication via text. Is driving me nuts, because I know she isn’t doing anything wrong.
It’s just knowing that I’m being ignored as a lesson and her needing space and time to process and see my actions. It just drives me crazy and I have to keep telling myself. That I caused this, not her. Yet it still enrages me, but I know I must tread lightly or wind up ruining it for good this time around.
Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
I think you said it right, you r got to give her time and space when needed to process and heal. I would want some clear expectations she has of you regarding what she wants to see from you consistently to be able to start trusting again.
. OMG …..I hope you will have a school for boys where they can become real MEN . You are AMAZING!
Please for me. Staying consistent and being patient are extremely hard. I get so angry sometimes. But I have to leave the room and pray.
how’s it going now, 9 months later?
@@qmjrq divorced.
@@Anonymous-uv7xd Sorry to hear that.. God bless you.
But can time and space brings an permanent gap and separation after sometime???
The man I've been with for a year and a half is an alcoholic. He said to me and everyone that he had been sober 37 years. I found out last night from him that he's been drinking for the last 8 years or so. Now I'm hearing stories of infidelity not from him but from someone else. He lied because he's an alcoholic. If what I'm hearing is true he did that because he's an alcoholic. I've been sober 12 years. I'm completely crazy about this guy and I don't want to let go. Anyway thanks for letting me vent.
As crazy as you are about him, you would be crazy to ignore what he's clearly showing you. 1. He lies, apparently for the last 8 years to others and a year and a half to you, about his drinking. 2. His drinking is his first love since he is willing to prioritize it over honesty in his relationships. People will always sacrifice a lesser love for their greatest love. 3. If the infidelity stories are true, he lacks character and is unfaithful. Focus on the patterns of behavior over verbal apologies or promises. You will need to see a track record (of at least a year or more) of different behavior to have objective hope that the future will be any different. Be wise and don't neglect your head on behalf of your heart.
My relationship is really going the way that seems hard for me ,I lied because I was scared not lose her .. but tried to open up several times but I didn't and now I did but really hard for me and her because both are so emotional people. Please I.need your advice..I will be grateful for that
I would just encourage you to follow the steps in the video. Consistency over time is key to rebuilding trust
Hmmmm.
Your Relationshots are most enlightening!
Would you consider
33 years of deceit in an effort to continue an extamarital, emotional affair a pattern or a one-time event?
Also, what would be a reasonable amount of time to consider rebuilding trust after this?
If he started from DDay onward being faithful... for as long as he was unfaithful..plus one day...I would be 105 years old. Is that a reasonable goal?
Please advise...
There is no way to "repay" broken trust back by the amount of time someone was deceitful or unfaithful. So, if it was 30 years then no it shouldn't take 30 years to earn trust back anymore than someone who had a one night stand affair should just profess fidelity for one day and be fully trusted again on day two. The key to rebuilding trust is: does the person take ownership and express remorse/repentance for how they have hurt the other person? Are they willing to turn away from the other relationship? Are they willing to do the things requested to rebuild trust and prioritize the relationship by the partner who has been betrayed? If so, then trust begins to build over time as the betrayed spouse makes the decision to forgive and begins to give trust again based on their spouse's consistency in behaviors and trustworthiness.
my man says he doesn't want me to be his "parole officer"
That sounds like code for “I don’t want accountability” or boundaries or restrictions or….unless you are just over the top jealous and controlling, then that’s a different discussion
Heyyyy I really need your advice....I lied to him several times but now i want to resolve everything i want to gain his trust back...but he tell that this is not possible...but I don't want to lose him... please help me..what should I do now ??? 🥺
@@_the_rawcanvas not much you can do if he’s not interested in allowing you the chance to rebuild trust. If he is then you’ve got to be transparent and consistent in your honesty
YOU CAN'T REGAIN TRUST, IMPOSSIBLE, UNLESS YOU GULLIBLE.
That stance is going to make any relationship difficult or impossible. We will all let each other down at times and negatively impact trust
should i send her this video lol?
Haha. Worth a shot. Hey, you know what would really help me trust again…here you go! 😁
@@RelationShots okay thanks!
I mean what is there to rebuild when I told the truth to my old lover. We are not rebuilding nothing, just forgive and move on. People make mistakes so just forgive and move on from anybody not just a past lover but friends old neighbors
When you say move on , do you mean leaving the person?
@@jiokenna please stop stalking me and harassing me i know who you are I am not playing your mind games. You done wrong by me and my kids.
@@jiokenna you are really annoying and I am filing charges against everyone involved I had enough of this.
@@jiokenna I mean what I said don't keep coming on here harassing me I am not forgiving nobody people think they can be evil and harass people and stalk people online. It not going to be funny when you in prison.
My bad but I'm not whoever you think it is. Just someone from west Africa facing relationship challenges with the love of his life. Bye