Words do not describe how I feel after watching this. It was difficult to hear because everything you said Is EXACTLY what I’m going through with my fiancé. On the other hand, I feel such a sense of relief because it gave me a more clear outline of what I need to do in order my relationship with the woman I love. Whatever happens, this video helped more than I can say so I genuinely thank you and look forward to learning more from your other videos!
He’s not taking responsibility for his actions and get mad cuz now I’m taking care of myself .. he’s a controlling person I’m trying to get him out. He’s so good at words and makes me feel like he’s the victim. I’m tired of him telling me I’m fake and not being myself. I hope he exits with my boundaries cuz he needs help from his 3 relationships that were with cheating partners
I’m currently in a toxic relationship and everything you described about walking on eggshells is so spot on. It’s so hard for me to walk away because I love her so much
Walking away might be tough, but so is a long term relationship that’s toxic. I would look to address the toxic aspects of it and if there is no or little change you may need to make the difficult decision
“Put your security, identity, significance, your purpose in your relationship with Christ, not into a relationship with anybody else.” Boom. Drop that wisdom, Friend! Listening. Open eared, minded, and hearted to turn myself around. Thank you!
Hi, first of all, thank you for this content. 99% of the content online basically says to shoot toxic people/narcissists/ gaslighters etc. Which I can understand, as someone who has a huge trauma from my childhood, I hurt my spouse a lot. I don’t think I’m a bad person, but things happened. And I lost her, and I guess I lost her forever. This being said, this experience helped me to identify my patterns, my negativity, my fears and all the things I said and I started a therapy. And it’s awesome to see that some toxic relationships are able to go through this and help each other. Amazing stuff, and I’m really happy for anyone who was able to save him-herself and able to build a stronger relationship
Good for you to recognize patterns that weren’t healthy and be willing to do the work personally to get healthy. I commend you. Many aren’t willing to do it and would rather just blame others
So insightful and helpful! Thank you. Being in a toxic relationship is so hard especially with a child that you share. More so when it wasn't like this before our child was born. So sad. I want my child to grow up with parents under one roof but feels like that's quickly becoming impossible. This is a great start. Hopefully God can heal us. 🙏
Sorry to hear the relationship is toxic and even more difficult when kids are impacted. With some intentionality and prayer God can definitely turn things around. Have you guys seen a counselor, or taken any classes or courses to work on things?
@@RelationShots thank you very much. I'm a Christian (walked away but have come back to my relationship with God) and praying God changes this. I keep asking my fiance to do counseling but he refuses though acknowledges the need to change and work on the toxicity. The only thing he will agree to is watching church with me. I however am in the works to start counseling on my own though scared all I will hear is to leave the relationship rather than to see for sure if it can be worked through which I know is not always possible. Your video gave good insight on a conversation I will have with him! Especially since he doesn't want to go to counseling.
@@kaleighcook2057 At least he’s willing to watch church which is good. God can speak some things through that avenue. Maybe he’d be open to watching relationship videos as well since he isn’t interested in counseling. Find an 30 minutes one evening per week and watch a Relationshot video or some other RUclips video on relationships. If he’s up for that you could maybe look at our membership which has longer videos with my wife and I talking about different relationship topics. Slowly move him towards counseling one day. Glad to hear you are at least going to counseling for yourself to learn some tools for managing the relationship better!
Very good information. Thanks for covering difficult topics, but always providing practical ways that anyone can implement today to plant seeds of change in their relationship.
My bf and I are struggling. It is extremely toxic but I feel like it’s due to past trauma from both sides. I want to work on it but it’s difficult to get him to understand what needs to be done. He doesn’t believe in therapy and says he should be able to talk to me and that be enough but I k ow I’m not equipped or have the emotional capacity to be objective.
You definitely need therapy to work through past trauma, especially when it negatively impacts a relationship. If he isn’t willing to do it then I suggest you seek individual therapy for yourself. As you get healthier it will either help you to make the relationship more healthy or cause you to realize you don’t need to stay in a toxic relationship
I and my entire family will be forever greatful to *Dr Ase coven* for the spiritual help he render to me with his power, my toxic marriage was restored back.....
I really love the information. I have send it to my daughter and son. I.hope this will prepare them for marriage when the time comes. I have made grave mistakes in my marriage and l was toxic in the relationship because of what happened in the beginning of our marriage. I asked my husband for forgiveness but he refused reconciliation. I'm really struggling to start another relationship although lm open to one but lm scared of uncertainty. I'm a very strong Christian and strongly uphold my Christian, values, morals and integrity. I learnt a lot from RUclips and would be a better person in a relationship but lm too scared to be let down. I really don't know what to do. People say l have raised my guards too high. Pls someone help me.
Fear and past hurt will definitely cause us to keep our guards high and standards even higher. Once you’ve done the work to heal from past relational pain it’s just a matter of having the right conversations, avoiding unhealthy behaviors and clearly communicating expectations in the next relationship.
@@bethahadzizi370 Author Lysa Terkeurst has a number of good books on healing and personal growth. Sheila Walsh is another author and singer who has written books on healing
Last year I terminated a toxic relationship with my ex wife. Most people speak badly of their toxic exes but actually they fail to understand the circumstances that led both us (a victim) and a toxic perpetrator to such behaviour. I don't like to see myself as a victim. I made a mistake when I met my ex wife and we had a child too early in our relationship. I did not used discernment. She was (and she is) a good person, but she had issues (such as her relationship with her father and having an avoidant attachment style). I need regular communication and intimacy (as I have an anxious attachment style). I was unaware of that. These issues grew into a lot of frustrations and I reacted with anger and she also became emotionally manipulative. I don't blame her or myself. We both grew apart and into an unhealthy dynamic. I tried my best but she refused therapy. I was clinging to the relationship because we have a child together. |I decided to let go of her, she is free to date someone else (which is what she wanted), I am free to not be stuck to an inauthentic relationship and be abused. It was toxic for at least 2 years! If there is will from both sides, its possible to turn an unhealthy relationship into an healthy one, but ideally one should do that quite early on. I was unable to do that, but at least I can sort myself now.
Makes sense. Both of your personal areas of woundedness seemed to exasperate one another keeping you stuck in that unhealthy cycle. It’s definitely important to know your partner’s wounds going into a relationship
I think with children you have to decide where you are willing to set boundaries with them on what types of behavior you will or will not allow. Once they are grown and you’re not liable for their actions anymore, you get to decide what type of relationship you want with them based on what you expect and what they are willing to do.
What does your shirt say after “Stay Married It’s…” ? The camera cuts off anything after “It’s” and I’m ADHD so it’s gonna bug me trying to read it your whole great video. Dho!
I loved him and I pity on him but everything a bullshit man can do his doing…drugs / online fucking / porn videos / he booked lady online his a big liar / gambling everytime he used me I got discharged or vigina infection I’m in pain thinking why his like that I really don’t know what I need to do with him pls help and advice me🙏
We love each other sm it’s just we need to get our minds right and I’m willing to do whatever is needed for us to be happy together.
If you’re both committed to the relationship but it’s unhealthy then you’ll likely need some outside help or counseling to assist you in the process
When I saw the title I thought it's clickbait, but the content is actually immensely useful.
Glad you found some value in the content.
Leaving was the best sense of peace in spite of extreme loss of family and friends. They turn others against you. They are totally sick.
You can certainly feel like you’re going crazy with someone who is toxic
Words do not describe how I feel after watching this. It was difficult to hear because everything you said Is EXACTLY what I’m going through with my fiancé. On the other hand, I feel such a sense of relief because it gave me a more clear outline of what I need to do in order my relationship with the woman I love. Whatever happens, this video helped more than I can say so I genuinely thank you and look forward to learning more from your other videos!
So glad you found some value in the video!!
He’s not taking responsibility for his actions and get mad cuz now I’m taking care of myself .. he’s a controlling person I’m trying to get him out. He’s so good at words and makes me feel like he’s the victim. I’m tired of him telling me I’m fake and not being myself. I hope he exits with my boundaries cuz he needs help from his 3 relationships that were with cheating partners
I’m currently in a toxic relationship and everything you described about walking on eggshells is so spot on. It’s so hard for me to walk away because I love her so much
Walking away might be tough, but so is a long term relationship that’s toxic. I would look to address the toxic aspects of it and if there is no or little change you may need to make the difficult decision
@@RelationShots I finally walked away!
“It’s gonna speed up the inevitable.” Ok. Let’s try this. Self control is step #1. Can do.
“Put your security, identity, significance, your purpose in your relationship with Christ, not into a relationship with anybody else.”
Boom. Drop that wisdom, Friend!
Listening. Open eared, minded, and hearted to turn myself around.
Thank you!
Hi, first of all, thank you for this content. 99% of the content online basically says to shoot toxic people/narcissists/ gaslighters etc. Which I can understand, as someone who has a huge trauma from my childhood, I hurt my spouse a lot.
I don’t think I’m a bad person, but things happened. And I lost her, and I guess I lost her forever.
This being said, this experience helped me to identify my patterns, my negativity, my fears and all the things I said and I started a therapy. And it’s awesome to see that some toxic relationships are able to go through this and help each other. Amazing stuff, and I’m really happy for anyone who was able to save him-herself and able to build a stronger relationship
Good for you to recognize patterns that weren’t healthy and be willing to do the work personally to get healthy. I commend you. Many aren’t willing to do it and would rather just blame others
So insightful and helpful! Thank you. Being in a toxic relationship is so hard especially with a child that you share. More so when it wasn't like this before our child was born. So sad. I want my child to grow up with parents under one roof but feels like that's quickly becoming impossible. This is a great start. Hopefully God can heal us. 🙏
Sorry to hear the relationship is toxic and even more difficult when kids are impacted. With some intentionality and prayer God can definitely turn things around. Have you guys seen a counselor, or taken any classes or courses to work on things?
@@RelationShots thank you very much. I'm a Christian (walked away but have come back to my relationship with God) and praying God changes this. I keep asking my fiance to do counseling but he refuses though acknowledges the need to change and work on the toxicity. The only thing he will agree to is watching church with me. I however am in the works to start counseling on my own though scared all I will hear is to leave the relationship rather than to see for sure if it can be worked through which I know is not always possible. Your video gave good insight on a conversation I will have with him! Especially since he doesn't want to go to counseling.
@@kaleighcook2057 At least he’s willing to watch church which is good. God can speak some things through that avenue. Maybe he’d be open to watching relationship videos as well since he isn’t interested in counseling. Find an 30 minutes one evening per week and watch a Relationshot video or some other RUclips video on relationships. If he’s up for that you could maybe look at our membership which has longer videos with my wife and I talking about different relationship topics. Slowly move him towards counseling one day. Glad to hear you are at least going to counseling for yourself to learn some tools for managing the relationship better!
@@RelationShots thanks great ideas!
Thank you so much *Dr Ase coven* I’m so greatful for what you have done by bringing my wife back. Thank you sir
*YOU ARE TRULY WHAT PEOPLE SAY YOU ARE... DR ASE COVEN KEEP IT UP. SHE CAME BACK THIS MORNING* *I found him on his face book page*
Very good information. Thanks for covering difficult topics, but always providing practical ways that anyone can implement today to plant seeds of change in their relationship.
Thanks James. Appreciate the encouragement!!
My bf and I are struggling. It is extremely toxic but I feel like it’s due to past trauma from both sides. I want to work on it but it’s difficult to get him to understand what needs to be done. He doesn’t believe in therapy and says he should be able to talk to me and that be enough but I k ow I’m not equipped or have the emotional capacity to be objective.
You definitely need therapy to work through past trauma, especially when it negatively impacts a relationship. If he isn’t willing to do it then I suggest you seek individual therapy for yourself. As you get healthier it will either help you to make the relationship more healthy or cause you to realize you don’t need to stay in a toxic relationship
I and my entire family will be forever greatful to *Dr Ase coven* for the spiritual help he render to me with his power, my toxic marriage was restored back.....
Can’t happen if you can’t even communicate freely to even set your boundaries
Lol Eric, Satan and his trolls really don't like this video, flooding the comments with nonsense. Keep up the great work!
Hahaha. Thanks Paul. I don’t even see most of those 🤷🏻♂️🤣
What ur saying is just right
Very helpful thank you so much
Glad you found it useful
This video is amazing❤
Glad you enjoyed!
This was very good.
Glad it resonated!
You are awesome... Thank you
Not really that awesome but glad you enjoyed
Thank you
Glad you enjoyed it!
YOU ARE TRULY WHAT PEOPLE SAY YOU ARE *DR JAJA JAWARA THE GREAT SPELL CASTER* KEEP IT UP HE CAME BACK THIS MORNING.
I really love the information. I have send it to my daughter and son. I.hope this will prepare them for marriage when the time comes. I have made grave mistakes in my marriage and l was toxic in the relationship because of what happened in the beginning of our marriage. I asked my husband for forgiveness but he refused reconciliation. I'm really struggling to start another relationship although lm open to one but lm scared of uncertainty. I'm a very strong Christian and strongly uphold my Christian, values, morals and integrity. I learnt a lot from RUclips and would be a better person in a relationship but lm too scared to be let down. I really don't know what to do. People say l have raised my guards too high. Pls someone help me.
Fear and past hurt will definitely cause us to keep our guards high and standards even higher. Once you’ve done the work to heal from past relational pain it’s just a matter of having the right conversations, avoiding unhealthy behaviors and clearly communicating expectations in the next relationship.
@@RelationShots Do u have further help ie, further courses or training l can purchase.
@@bethahadzizi370 what information are you most interested in? Personal healing, dating, etc
@@RelationShots 1st, Personal healing and then dating. I have so much insecurities.
@@bethahadzizi370 Author Lysa Terkeurst has a number of good books on healing and personal growth. Sheila Walsh is another author and singer who has written books on healing
Your pretty good.
Last year I terminated a toxic relationship with my ex wife. Most people speak badly of their toxic exes but actually they fail to understand the circumstances that led both us (a victim) and a toxic perpetrator to such behaviour. I don't like to see myself as a victim. I made a mistake when I met my ex wife and we had a child too early in our relationship. I did not used discernment. She was (and she is) a good person, but she had issues (such as her relationship with her father and having an avoidant attachment style). I need regular communication and intimacy (as I have an anxious attachment style). I was unaware of that. These issues grew into a lot of frustrations and I reacted with anger and she also became emotionally manipulative. I don't blame her or myself. We both grew apart and into an unhealthy dynamic. I tried my best but she refused therapy. I was clinging to the relationship because we have a child together. |I decided to let go of her, she is free to date someone else (which is what she wanted), I am free to not be stuck to an inauthentic relationship and be abused. It was toxic for at least 2 years! If there is will from both sides, its possible to turn an unhealthy relationship into an healthy one, but ideally one should do that quite early on. I was unable to do that, but at least I can sort myself now.
Makes sense. Both of your personal areas of woundedness seemed to exasperate one another keeping you stuck in that unhealthy cycle. It’s definitely important to know your partner’s wounds going into a relationship
This is good
Glad you found some value in it. Thanks for dropping a comment!!
What if the toxic relationship is with your son?
My grown son. He’s not a child.
I think with children you have to decide where you are willing to set boundaries with them on what types of behavior you will or will not allow. Once they are grown and you’re not liable for their actions anymore, you get to decide what type of relationship you want with them based on what you expect and what they are willing to do.
What does your shirt say after “Stay Married It’s…” ? The camera cuts off anything after “It’s” and I’m ADHD so it’s gonna bug me trying to read it your whole great video. Dho!
Stay Married It’s Gangsta
I loved him and I pity on him but everything a bullshit man can do his doing…drugs / online fucking / porn videos / he booked lady online his a big liar / gambling everytime he used me I got discharged or vigina infection I’m in pain thinking why his like that I really don’t know what I need to do with him pls help and advice me🙏
Seems pretty obvious…walk away. That person doesn’t love himself or you enough to act right
😂