Exactly! It is far better to be completely alone than to have others around you that would harm you or take advantage of you in you moments of weakness. It happened to me back in 2000. To keep anything similar from happening to me again, I deleted everyone from my life and never bothered to replace anybody. I iwll allows no possibility of the events of 30 December 1998 to 8 August 2000 from ever happening again. Thus, I have had no friends, a girlfriend, nor acqaintences, since 2000. It is far better to have nobody in your life than to have abusive or bad people in your life. This is written from experience. Being alone is nti the worse thing that could happen to anybody. It is far from it. For me, it has actually proven extremely beneficial to have nobody in my life. Nobody is going to die because they have no social existence. I am proof of this.
@@chartman194 I quit wasting my time with human companionship. Almost all of them are toxic. I just do what I must to live and succeed without having anything to do with humans. I interact with humans in a manner that a client would interact with a service provider or merchant. No interpersonal exchanges are ever made. I am done with what is regarded as friendship and amorous relationships. They have become nothing but opportunistic relationships and sex. I need none of that just to be abused later because I met my purpose for the opportunist. I will never be social again.
Thank you. So often Christian women(pastor's wives in my life) say that there is not enough reason to leave unless the kids or I are getting physically abused. Here is my thing...so much happens leading up to physical abuse. It doesn't just happen. And why does someone have to be bleeding before we leave? Really people? How can it be God's will for us to put up with emotional abuse either?
Thank you, I’m going to start singing that too. Already I say, “Your peace Lord, your peace” - that’s helps a lot. When he’s in a rage I just concentrate on our Saviour; his love and his peace. But I’m going to add yours, it’s truth.
All these Christian’s making their partners the enemy and claiming God is telling them they are toxic. Listing off traits that just about every human being has in one form or another. Here’s a verse for you, we wrestle not with flesh and with blood. Your partner is not forming a weapon against you, your partner likely suffered from abuse and trauma and hasn’t gotten the help they need. That doesn’t make them the enemy, the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy. Imagine claiming to know God and love God and believing your partner is evil and an enemy of God. Yet you forget that God lives that person the same as he loves you. This is just typical of this modern age wheee relationships or disposable, people are disposable. If you are not married than what difference does it make, leave. You are living in sin anyway and talking about what God wants for you. Hypocrisy is abounding.
1. Lack of love and respect. 2. Manipulative and Controlling 3. Constant conflict and strife. 4. Unforgiveness 5. Dishonesty and deceit. 6. Lack of boundaries and personal freedom. 7. Selfishness 8. Abusive 9. Lack of Trust and insecurity.
I just went through all of that,i was really dumb founded by the whole deal,very sad. Gone now never to see her again. A covert Christian narcissist is really scary, the neglectful attitude was very disturbing,but a total stranger she had all kinds of time for them.i will never get it.
Going through this with my ID twin sister and planning to leave. We roommate together. She's a covert narcissist and a raging alcoholic. So abusive and evil
I went through all of this in my 5 year situationship they I finally walked away from. This person created a story in there head and kept it going , until he got literally caught in the act. I’ll never submit to a man that has not submitted to God first. I’ll never be again, a girlfriend working with wifely duties and is not a wife.
18 years ago my abuser beat me on the head with a baseball bat. The Christian counselor said to forgive. Took me 13 years till I divorced him. I now am living with him trying to cohabitate and it's not working. The verbal abuse is too much to handle. I feel crazy. I finally have a way to leave now and I am carefully planning my escape. Thank you for your videos I just found you today and needed this extra push.❤
Am thankful that this channel is honest about what to expect from those that don't use God's principles in their life. Not only are they not using those things but want to create harm on others, physically and emotionally. She is amazing in her breaking down of biblical characteristics to live by..
What do you consider boundaries? Your statement means nothing. Stonewalling is not boundaries. The silent treatment is not a boundary.having different perspective or opinion is not a boundary. Toxic is just a phrase that people use to describe a behavior that is damaging. There isn’t a person in the planet who is not toxic in some way or another. RUclips is chocked full of people claiming God said this and God said that. Full of people deciding for themselves that their partner is a narcissist because they do some of the things a RUclips therapist told you makes them a narcissist. No counselor worth a damn would diagnose someone without meeting with them in person. Anyone who watches a bunch of RUclips videos and decides that someone is something is a fool. Anyone who believes God is revealing their partner is toxic is even more of a fool. You may very well be in a toxic relationship, he or she may very well be a narcissist, but narcissism is a very specific disorder. Everyone does half the things in the list. Bottom line, if the person refuses to put in the required effort to make it work, and you are not married, move on. Therapy creates victims. These people literally find ways to show you that you are a victim. If someone is a victim then someone must be an abuser. If therapy doesn’t work, as many have said here, then why are you taking advice from a therapist?
No toxic people just hate boundaries, tell a person who thinks they run the world and are entitled to everything no and watch the chaos thay ensues. The blaming name calling, lieing about your character to others. Simple rules to have for your home they don't respect but expect others to respect theirs. Toxic people exist. Theres toxic traits and straight up toxic people, who thrive for this lifestlye of victim mindset versus someone who actually is a victim of their narc games. This doesnt make us victims but keeps us from staying one with support of the word.@user-ty3fe8gq1f
I was watching some videos yesterday, right here on RUclips, of American Women who live and Work in Brothels, and let me say that this is Not the first time that I hear that a LOT of Married Men go there to have S*X ON THEIR WAY to work, or On their Way from Work. It made me realize that Sometimes, being SINGLE is A BLESSING.
I did the same thing for years, emotionally, physically and mentally checked out, deeply hungry for peace. It’s your coping mechanism for survival. My heart goes out to you. Praying for your path towards freedom.
I truly feel for you😢 l was married to pastor for 27 years and eventually l was strong enough to get out. I had been hoodwinked into believing that l was wrong, HE was the pastor so had yo be right! Now, almost 37 yrs later, l'm still checked out at a deep level. On the surface l'm fine, but closed down inside and didn't know how to switch on again. Hearing teaching on the narcissist, l'm FINALLY seeing that l wasn't the problem, what a release. I had finally let go of feeling l had to defend myself and let God be my vindicator, and He's brought this teaching to me!! Hang in there, the Lord will show what to do and how to get free, but we do need help from someone who understands this behaviour we've submitted to. Bless you, l pray you find your help soon. ❤ xx
I had a covert religious Narcissist in my life once, and later realized my body was warning me of her toxicity, and I should've listened to God's warning concerning her. I emailed her my written testimony, and she called me. When I saw her name on Caller ID I picked up the receiver expecting to hear encouraging words, but instead heard cutting, hurtful words. And my body jerked back on my chair while my heart sank within me. My body was recoiling from her yet I didn't listen to it -- I made excuses for her, telling myself she was having a bad day. She continued exploiting and manipulating me for years, when I finally went no contact. I literally changed my phone number, and learned "When someone shows me who they are, I need to believe them."
My sister is a Bible 'swinging and throwing' 'Christian'. She always says the Devil made her do it and everything is the Devil's fault. She judges harshly and has a demonic tongue. 💖 💖
Depending on the situation and on the narcissist, it is probably best to not engage. If you know they are lying or trying to fight, just stop talking. Don't get emotional and don't raise your voice. It is very difficult for a person to fight with themselves.
That is so true. I leave the narcissistic other to themselves. Keep my poker face on, and don't engage. The need me to fill up the silence,which I refuse to do. I am quite happy with me,myself and I.
Same, going through this currently, my husband told me I’m guilty of all his issues, total projection, my responsibility is for myself , I’m gone for 6 months ish and he couldn’t care less, except when he calls me drunk and late to fake cry and mess with my heart some more
One thing is certain. Never depend on a human for help, support, nor companionship. They will not add to your strength. The will suck, destroy, your strength. it is horrible that it has become this way. Keep your enemies far and your, "friends," further. In fact, keep the entire species away from you.
Had a case of total abuse with someone I counseled with, that ended so well. The husband's life was totally changed by Christ, and he started treating her so well and has never gone back to being abusive. That was over 10 years now
When i recognize that I am having t to do a dance or worry about the outcome of every single interaction I have with someone, I know the relationship isn’t healthy. It’s just not worth it with toxic people. I give them to God and move on. I’ve had to walk away from toxic family and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I wouldn’t exchange the peace I’ve gained in healing for anything. God doesn’t want us to be used and abused.
It's difficult enough to live in this world today and with all these mind games with people one can totally go out of their mind. Remember this is god's creation and the environment you are placed in is done by god
Your comment makes me wonder. The man I've been with for one year has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster; where he initially seemed to take joy in lifting me up, celebrating my successes, now, since I've had a promotion, he's insulting me publicly and makes my stomach churn. I'm walking on egg shells in every conversation. It's happened almost overnight and I'm so confused. Please 🙏
You just described 90% of humanity. With that high level of negative people, I have opted to forego all interpersonal, social, interactions, associations, and bonds. The only way to interact with humans is in a manner that is similar to the manner that a client would interact with a service provider or merchant. After the business exchange, conclude the meeting and never readdress the human, if at all possible. If necessary to address the human again, make it identical to the first transaction style with the human. This level of aloofness, detachment, and standoffish behavior, will maximise the odds of not establishing any sort of familiarity. The goal is not to establish any sort of connection with the person outside of the business at hand. Today, a friend is nothing but a low level enemy in disguise. A love interest is nothing but an opportunist ready to take all they can. Make no connections and make no conflict. Delete the social aspect of your life. You will not regret it.
Let’s all pray 🙏 to be saved from toxic. My siblings and mother is poisining my soul, I thank God for protection and reading the Bible and listening to preachings so that I and my daughter will not get lost in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏
I remember the day the Lord spoke to me about severing the relationship with my corrosive daughters. The quest" What does light have to do with darkness?" Popped into my heart and mind at the same time. My answer to him was "nothing".. The next thing that popped into my mind was " Walk away and put them in my hands". Best decision ever. Got peace now and it taught me to identify toxic people in my life and walk away too. Got new friends that are not toxic. Also it opened up doors for me to see many of my own toxic behaviors and become lovable. Took a long time, but now I get to teach the Bible to inmates in our local jail. Learned an awful lot and have joy in my heart. God is really good and He's really smart too! 🙏
I’m blown away I’ve been praying for clarity and understanding for my situation especially as a Christian. I’m literally crying 😭
10 месяцев назад+8
I went to 18 years of Catholic School. Narcissism and the different types of narcissist were NEVER taught to me in those 18 years. My question, WHY NOT?
I completely understand how you feel. I’m a Christian also and didn’t know what I was getting into until it was too late, after we got married. I’m so glad that God used this media outlet for people like us. We think we’re the crazy ones but it’s really the narcissist patner that makes us feel crazy. Praise God we have a Godly lady who is helping us.
Part one: learn about them. Part two: learn why they’re so attracted to us! We’re”too too” too loving, too forgiving, too agreeable, too understanding. That only works in a healthy relationship- not ever w a narcissist! We learned early in childhood- “our place” in life! They did too! Perfect matches! Everyone except a narcissist deserves more respect n better treatment than they are capable of giving! It will never make sense to a healthy person. Trying to explain is like talking to the wall! Run and be glad you got out!!!
Every single sign....ive been so stubborn thinking that eventually God will change him. Instead God opened my eyes to see what he was. Also realize i was raised by a narc and have dated them every single time. But the Lord is so good. He has given me His strength. I would be lost without Him. My healing didn't happen the way I imagined. It was so painful but it's a relief to see. Thank you Lord. I know you will make a way. Keep me safe. In Jesus name i pray.
@@kaitlincox9714 Yes, I wasted 39 years waiting for him to change. Then God let me find these videos. I no longer consider him capable of change because he won't. I'm living separately from him and though I'm still financially dependent I'm away from his abuse.
@@楊宜強 I'm glad your away from the abuse. I also left 2 months ago and took my kids to a domestic violence shelter. God is providing everything we need!
#1...toxic mom my whole life, I'm 55, she throws unpredictable attacks on me demonstrating no love or respect! I'm learning my identity in Christ and now she can't hurt me❤thank you Kris for helping me!
I understand your sitution.i have that kind of toxic mother..I am turning 50 tomorrow...we just have to keep growing in Christ and set our boundaries whether they like it or not. Obey Gods word and pray for our mothers...
@rollerbug21 Amen! It's sad we have these moms, but I was able to let that hurt go when I learned my identity is only in Jesus, that's it! ..and how my mom views me just doesn't matter anymore... Sending hugs, Lisa❤️
Another clear-cut sign that someone has no respect for your emotional health, is when they don't take any responsibility for their part in things, they don't apologize and they just continue weaponizing everything that you're emotionally dealing with against you. I recently had someone who I was trying to form a friendship with do this. It has led me to come to the conclusion that if I have to tell an adult how to apologize or that they should apologize then I'm not in the right age bracket. If I wanted to continue having kindergarten relationships I suppose I would stay in the relationship to see if we could form a friendship down the line. However, I've grown up and I'm getting off the monkey bars now.
How dare you say no? Don't you know you only exist to please him? To do everything that's asked of you without question or rebuttal? You have to sacrifice yourself and place all his needs before yours; before your health; before your comfort. 🤦🏾♂️
My husband displays every single trait listed, in some form, as a covert narcissist. I’m in trouble 😟 But I do not fear as I know God will see me through 🙏
Remember God has called you to peace. If you tell him if he doesn't want to be married to a Christian then he is welcome to leave (say this with gentleness and love) if he does want to stay with you then let him stay and keep sacrificing for him, pray and fast for him and win him without a word. Doing this he will either leave or change and stay ❤
My hurt healed in 11 months. I surrendered to God. Lots of tears, cried more than I have in my life sometimes daily. Connected with prayer partners and a community that understands
Discernment IS key. The confusion is the most difficult part. Thats exactly how I felt the entire relationship, what he said kind of made sense but didn’t resonate and I was gaslight and manipulated so much I just believed what he said, past trauma, especially unhealed past trauma, really makes it difficult to have healthy relationships. Seek Jesus and heal FIRST!
Satan is the author of confusion so how do you take the signs you see at times then the effort being put in another times and decide whether you are actually being lied to and not able to prove it or if they are actually telling the truth and the signs you are seeing are from the trauma of lies they told you in the past?
I feel so confused. In the middle of a divorce now, my 3rd. First was an alcoholic and abusive, 2nd was caught molesting children he coached and now this is my 3rd. I’m mortified and embarrassed for myself but mostly for my children. I feel like it MUST be me! I want to fix whatever it is. I believe this time, there are multiple issues, Asperger’s/narcissism/ADHD and possibly sociopath. (Our marriage counselor stated all of those for him) But I also know I am not perfect and wondering if I cause people to react the way they do. I am loud. I’m always loud. I’m loud when I’m happy, I’m loud when I’m sad, I’m loud when I’m upset. I don’t know how to be different. And should I change? Is this the way God made me? I don’t know. All I know is I am TIRED. I want to fix myself, whatever is mine. And I am constantly asking myself if it’s always all my fault. He would never go to counseling. He felt it was all my fault. You can’t help but believe it after so long.
Truly. Who wants to spend hours & hours & hours trying to figure out one single bizarre interaction? Let alone multiple such interactions! What a waste of time!
My friendship of five years I have known since day one that it's toxic. It slowly started making me toxic and has turned me cold to love from others in my life. No more. I'm a single mother and this man has ruined my heart.
Be wary of relationships in which you are always the “crazy”, “unbalanced” or “villain” in the relationship. I currently experience this with my family. It took me a while to realize that my sister convinced everyone that I was mentally unreliable so that my opinions were disregarded, and only her interests were considered in the issues we faced at home. Each time her reprehensible attitudes were questioned by me, she used my supposed “madness” to derail my arguments. Fortunately, with the help of friends, I realized what was happening and stopped questioning my sanity and judgment. I no longer allow her to do this, and I am already distancing myself physically and emotionally from her, because she is a selfish, unscrupulous person.
Thank you! You put into words what is happening to me! Not by a husband but another authority figure. It’s sad when you realize people close to this abuser suddenly look at you with distant and ignore you when once you were good friends with you too. I’m copying this down for future help!
thirty plus years. to realize it wasn’t just me i’ve moved out of the house living next door unable to leave.no driver’s license. nine months to go i’ve given it to the lord to show me the way.praying for us all.
Be careful especially if she is one of the elder siblings. My two eldest siblings hated me for being born. They feel I took from them. Just my existence bothers them and when my parents passed away they manipulated my mom to trust them as executor and Healthcare proxy. They put her in a nursing home and when she passed away of neglect they took everything everything. They actually packed a garbage bag with garbage and broken items from my parents basement and they gave that to me as my inheritance. Let this be a warning to anyone that reads this.. these people are born evil selfish and greedy and they stay that way until the end.
Father help us... it's difficult in this world. It truly is a strange land out there. People seem to have no souls or hearts. There is no one home inside. 😥
I made exactly the same mistakes! I sensed that there was something not healthy, but I gave it my all and tried so hard as a Christian to make a marriage work that I should never have entered into. Now my boundaries are strong. Now I see clearly. So many lessons learned. I divorced him and now I live alone and experience so much peace.
My husband of 48 years has had10 affair that I’m aware ok. The last one was the last straw. Children are grown, have children of their own and are financially independent. When I discovered last affair, I thought’” I’m FREE!!” Praying for him. We have been together since I was 16. Married at 20 and 21. I guess he’s “in love”, again. Has happened a couple of times before. Signed up for online counseling for next Thursday. I want to get thru my pain. But also pray that he will have true repentance and accept Christ. He was baptized before we were married. Silly me, I fell for it. Lol Even if we never get back together, he needs to turn to a better life. He will be 70 next year prayers for us both please
@@findingdori442 I’m gone. Living on my own in my own home since June. Still occasionally feel devastated NO WAY I could ever go back!! Just feel so bad for our children and grandchildren that he’s been such an ass and that things have turned out like this.
I recently went through a tough breakup. My 7 year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been really hard for me. I still love my ex so much and can't stop thinking about him. I've tried everything to win him back, but nothing has worked. It's frustrating, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I've been trying to move on, but I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I know it might sound strange to share this here, but I miss him a lot and just can't stop thinking about him.
I understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar situation when my 12 year relationship ended. I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to win him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, and their guidance ultimately helped me to bring him back into my life.
My mother uses church, scriptures, and religion to hide and cover up her manipulations and control. She projects shame and guilt on me as she gaslights her gossip and slander. My whole life I've been so confused because my mom is "sprinting" to heaven. She goes to church every Sunday. At church we learn that we are children of God and about feeling the "love of Jesus" but the confusion has been my mother's projection of shame and family scapegoating as she is "holier than thou". My entire life I have never had the opportunity to communicate my experiences and feelings when there has been conflict. I have always been blamed and shamed with no opportunity to speak or communicate. I've been shoved in a corner and stomped on as the family doormat. I have finally stepped away and removed myself from the toxic family dynamic. 😊
Thank you so much for this. I am 34yr old and never had a girlfriend, just a long string of toxic people going through my life, beginning with narcissistic relatives. The last few years, I have mostly recovered from codependency and anxiety, and God has healed mostly all the hurt. Now, I am looking to finish healing and to more wisely approach situations going forward. I want to be prepared to step into God’s call on my life and to meet and marry a Godly woman.
I'm leaving a domestic violent narcissistic marriage. I became reactive abusive, and that was the last straw He does NOT forgive and uses it against me Blame shifts, victim blames, along with Control and manipulative NO conflict resolution or compromise Thank you Blessings
#2 I’ve lived with this but now I’m free and alone it’s going to stay that way because I’m not interested in turning myself inside out to please another human ever again. I’m happy being alone and being free to be myself
I have embraced my singleness…I am not lonely, nor depressed and enjoy living my life alone….. No more drama, or emotional roller coaster…. The only one I am accountable to is God…
My ex is guilty of all....so far...I'm lucky to be alive....thank God....the neighbor down the street had a "thing" for him....and he left me for her......God IS good....Thanks Kris!
Karen , This is also my story . But God .....I thank him for making a way out for me even though some people people don't truly believe that he was like that (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual abusive. I so understand why they would think that way . He was sooooooo loving sooooooooo understanding sooooooooo protective of me......... there wasn't anything he or I wouldn't do for each other. ..... we've known each other 16 years before we got together . I never knew he had this other side . (Woman, Woman, Woman) everywhere we went....his phone never left his side. He loved his job because of being around the woman ( he works for a lawn care company) it gives him the opportunity to show himself to others and to see them in many settings. Certain times of the year he would have to work all night and early mornings plowing snow or throwing salt down and he was able to get his eyes full of some people getting ready for bed, getting up in the morning and or watching people make love to each other.....this is no joke. At least not in my eyes. I also knew he and the next-door neighbor had something going on ..... pay attention to where they take you, who they introduce you to, and sooo on . They are ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THEIR NEXT PRY . I was put in the hospital twice. Finally, I was able to escape the nightmare . I now have a place of my own. I owe it all to my lord and savior Jesus Christ for supplying all the means of getting away from him. No one can do us like Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN.
@@michellethomas4928 Try leaving him emotionally...make your full time job.... working on yourself, nurturing yourself, loving yourself.... try new activities...slowly... try eating better, working out, reading nurturing, insightful books.....and ask God.....or your Higher Power to help you with this....meditate and pray. ❤️🙏
I'm glad I found another who has understanding of this, I hope the Lord will give you deliverance from this abuse and you get help from people who understand and have empathy, Peace , love and respect to you 😃🦄💗💙💚❤💛💜👽✌🌹🌌🕊🦁😃
@@cazb4421 if he's the one pushing for it, then go. If not, he'll say later on that it's because of you the marriage failed and the universe is turning inside out.
@JW-po9mb I'm going through that already. He blames me for everything and doesn't own anything cause he's embarrassed. If I go to therapy, I will embarrass him. He has cheated and had emotional relationships with other women. He goes away for48 hours, and I don't know where he is or who his with. I have 2 children who are watching his behaviour. I don't want to fix it. He plays too many games, hurts me and thinks it's funny. I have 20 years left on this earth. I want peace, happiness for me and my children. Being with him will destroy us all.
@@cazb4421 I'm in the same exact boat you're on. Please find a good therapist who can help you deal with all that you've been going through. We all know that dealing with them is huge task and destroys us in ways we could never have imagined. No one should have to go through life suffering under the hands of another. A therapist will help you to get your self esteem and self worth back. Please get help.
So true. He didn't care about my pain. I struggled with that. He didn't struggle with ANY part of the relationship. Just an addition to this.. toxic people will ghost you to make you desperate to keep you from asking them for anything.
He won't take the step of regaining my trust.Ive asked him to walk with me.But he continues to hide and lie and then they come up with compassionate responses to me. So I am the problem.
This is my mother and my ex. I finally realized at 60 that I had married my mother and how that all fits together. I wish people could learn this earlier in life.
Kris Reece, your videos are helping me tremendously to stop giving the toxic narcissists in my life the attention they so crave from me. Thank you for sharing your godly wisdom.
1. Control 2. Manipulation 5. Dishonest but tries to hide it as just joking 6. Personal freedom- I have limitations on when I go out (I’m a caregiver) and it’s my responsibility to make sure my schedule revolves around when he can get free help 7. He very little thinks about how his actions effect me or make me feel 8. Abuse- very verbally abusive at times and blames it on his disability 9. Lack of trust- constantly accuses me of lying or says I don’t know what I’m talking about
In spite of childhood and extensive adulthood narcissism, the deep knowledge owing that Truth will set us free. My middle name is FAITH. Hope is just a passing thought.
#1 Lack of Love & Respect - For the first couple of years, I was loved and respected. But the last 4 were extremely disrespectful and love was expressed, but not shown. #2 I experienced excessive gaslighting #3 Conflict, He never let me bring up struggles. He would always say "that's the past" (even if he just said something 5 minutes ago). #4 Lack of forgiveness and holding grudges. I had a unique experience with this. He was quick to forgive, but would bring it up later when it suited his point. He was never willing to talk to me about relationship problems. #5 Dishonesty & Deceit - Honesty was rarely given to me, but he always claimed he could not lie. #6 Lack of Boundaries & Personal Freedom - He harped on our future being ONLY the two of us. I shouldn't include family or friends. This was what killed the piece of the relationship we had left. He moved on to a mutually toxic person who would agree with everything he said of did (including cheating). #7 Selfishness - Givers attract Takers. One of my biggest mistakes in this Toxic Relationship was not setting boundaries to begin with. In the 6th year, when I tried to set boundaries, he started looking for, and found, a more compatible person. #8 Abusive - Physically, Verbally or Emotionally - He became verbally & emotionally abusive. If someone hurt or upset him, he would do the same to me. #9 Lack of Trust and Insecurity - I would give him trust, but he would always break it. I am talking about every single time. He would always say how much he trusted me, but never did when it counted. This made me very insecure in the relationship (which was very founded in the end). My takeaway from this toxic relationship is that the toxic person will either make the effort and work required to make the relationship better, or they will find a kindred soul who will live life their way. I am 72 and starting over again, after devoting 6 years of my life to this toxic relationship. I pray that God will help me learn from this and use it to help others.
I am 68 years old and starting over after he stole all my money. I have nothing. He kicked me out and after 7 months away from him, he is love bombing me daily. In 8 years, we went on vacations twice and both times he got angry and drove me back home 5 states away back home and left me and drove himself back to vacation alone. All the while I am asking what did I do? No response and never spoke of it again, like it never happened.
Do not watch Your son being destroyed. He is not a sacrifice. The abuser is not worth giving up your son’s health for. Or you will have two damage people. Get your son and get away from abuse.
I feel the pain. Same here. It's sad when the in-laws have turned your children and grandchildren against you. And triangulating spouse who has his own narcissistic traits. Very lonely for me since I am being dismissed (my communication is shut down) and causing much duress and self reflection. Almost think it would be easier to be a hermit.
Amen about the discernment. My marriage is toxic. He is a covert narc. The Lord is showing me and teaching me. Itsvbeen awful but im learning and healing and working on seperation...careful seperation. Constant conflict,also. I love how you point to scriptures for all topics. Thx and blessings🙏
@@theresasutherly871the one I just booted had zero respect for my property,feelings opinion nothing all about how she was smarter than anyone, it floored me when she told me no one was smarter then her. The most toxic experience I had ever been thru.
#1, #2(gaslighting), #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, I ask God every day for the strength to remove me from this relationship. I’m a giver by nature and this man only knows how to take.😢
I had this , I walked away completely after 5 years. He tried to tear me down, but uplift in another breath. I chose to follow Gods way and began to remove myself from the situationship. He began to say how he understood what I was doing and wanted to walk as well. That didn’t go so well of course, because it was all a lie because he needed something from me. No more
@crystalholscher5465 they are so damaged. I don't even know how to help. All I know is I need to heal, in order to help them, there's things that they think are normal that are not because they came from such a dysfunctional household, but I have no idea what to do. it unbelievably breaks my heart! they struggle every single day!
Toxic NPD mother who has all of these traits. Thank you Lord for saving me!! I'm free but still dealing with smear campaigns, and family members who want me to continue in abusive relationship because they think that's honoring her. I pray for continued strength for anyone dealing with this.
We don't even need to have a family of our own to not want to spend Christmas with our family - a lack of desire is enough; if it was / is a loving environment, we'd want to spend that time...pressuring, guilting, or forcing someone to spend time with you is not love to begin with.
My reward for going through all I’ve been through with my inmates in this prison that masquerade as family is once I leave this place I never have to see them again. Ever.
Thank you so much. I am learning A LOT about myself and how I can be the toxic partner. It's so easy to point the finger at your spouse and say it's ALL him. But the LORD is showing me that I have some character defaults that I need to work on. I have trauma that needs to be addressed. The LORD is so patient and so loving ❤️
Kris, you were an answer to my prayers. The relationship has been over for months, but I was struggling with letting go. Because of this toxic relationship (along with the death of my adult daughter 8 years ago), I have decided to be a grief coach. There are so many kinds of grief and this is one of them. Grieving for a lost relationship is a real thing.
1. Lack of Respect 2. Manipulation and Control 3. Conflict and strife 4. Unforgiveness ( both of us) 5. Dishonestly and deceit ( both of us) 6. Lack of boundaries
You should not try to control others exactly right & do not allow others to control you. This is what she is saying. Allow there to be peace in the relationship
I woke up before 5am. Prayed then began to work in kitchen. the minute he got up I began feeling like the presence of Evil was around me. Soon, he was fighting against me using the kids. I felt so horrible. I decided to rebuke the spirit of depression that made me feel bad. Thanks Kris for this post where we can see that we are not alone. I feel encouraged by all these encouraging fighters like myself. I pray God gives us strength to be more than conquerors everyday.
Me too I feel the same as you!! I am accepting and putting theses problems in Gods hands, and he is helping me a bit every day. I am becoming an even better Christian because of my misfortune. Jesus is leading me now!! 🙏❤️🙏
3rd time for me…talk about mad at yourself!! A friend told me the other day when I asked her what is wrong with me, she said, “how about instead of asking yourself THAT, you ask yourself why are you settling for people who aren’t worthy of your love.”
I was married first time for 16 years to a narcissist. Then single for 16 years. Moved half way around the world, and I have found another one, but not as extreme. I’m also realizing that as a young girl my dad left when I was 5. I thought I must not be lovable. My mom married an abusive man. When I was single for the 16 years, I thought I had done my work, yes I came a long way, but I see now I still have unresolved issues. I’ve been learning to set my boundaries, learn to quiet my mouth. I need to do my part and put my heart in it’s proper place and now I silently pray to the Lord when the moments pop up and he fixes the situation. God 😊is so good and merciful to me a sinner!
It's amazing how well you understand the abuse it's brutal. As a Christian I prayed and endured thinking things would change but after 40 years of working and holding the business together. They make you out to be the problem and the idiot.
Thank you for being so transparent! It is also important that people accept that whether a person claims to be a Christian or not, they have individual rights to refuse to have relationships with anyone they don’t want a relationship with. Manipulative, controlling people often have a problem accepting that they don’t have “authority” over anyone but themselves, and often don’t accept the other person’s “NO” regardless of how many times that person absolutely refuses to have a relationship with them. It’s so sad to experience that and observe other people do it to our friends. One thing we can do is continue to pray for those manipulative, troubled people that they will find other relationships to fill their emotional voids with. God expects people to maintain their individual sovereignty and boundaries regardless of who refuses to accept that! People will continue to leave the “church” when the “church” continues to deny the Holy Spirit indwelling of each person and uses relationships as authoritative weapons to whip people into submission of their coercive control. Thank you for all you do! You are very appreciated!
@dianesimon5937- I am not sure I understand what you mean, but I respect your viewpoint. May we all find ways to live independently, peaceably and with self-discipline, while not allowing others with ego imbalances abuse or manipulate us. May God bless you in this new year in your journey, and may God bless Mrs. Kris as she ministers!
@@dianesimon5937please ask God to restore my job and life back in Him not this Antichrist system I regret leaving or looking back to TV and Immorality. This was wrong and I regret this and want back i would have loved a family and church church. I hate this. Waste ...
Exactly, I was gobsmacked when I was the wicked one for wanting to name the things that happened... shut down and I am the villain.. will you forgive me for everything leaving the truth out. Yes I forgive her, and the family of flying monkeys who enabled and now I am so Free. I'm trying to learn how to love with discernment.
I'm so ready to leave but financially I am so messed up. It kills me that the only thing stopping me is money. I just keep praying for God to show me the way. It's so hard to heal in a situation like this.
In your same shoes. I finally told my soon to be ex that I want out but I’m trapped. He let me know he didn’t want me to feel trapped and that he would help me financially. Things have gotten really bad now and me and my 3 daughters are living in our RV bcs I couldn’t take it anymore. God will make a way. I was so sick for months before I finally left and guess what, poof, after being gone a week, no more sickness.
Sometimes “abuse” isn’t there but toxicity is still present in the dynamic Abuse is voluntary or deliberately done action that is bringing forth destruction Toxicity is non deliberated action that is destructive Both at some level are skill issue but former one is at spiritual level and latter one at intellectual level
#4. I’ve forgiven but there is no way that I will allow this particular person back into my life to do it again even though they ask for another chance. This person is a narcissist and once they are identified to me by their behaviour they are banished from my life. I prefer solitude to confusion, chaos, manipulation, and being used as a stepping stone to get what they want with no regard for what they’ve done to me
Why?? Why are you putting up with it… leave him, don’t waste any more of your life. I put up with my narc ex husband for 37 years.. been no contact now for seven months, no, it’s not easy but I have no more feelings of fear… I feel lost at times, lonely at times but I have peace of mind now, no more arguments, gaslighting, silent treatment, no more being scared to voice my opinion… I’m slowly finding who I am again, will take time but hopefully I’ll get there. I’ve been asking God to help me and to give me the strength to get through the no contact phase🙏
I was in a relationship with this guy from my church. During our relationship as he got to know me more he realized that I wasn't his ideal of a perfect christian woman. He would often make comments about how he thought that I wasn't trying hard enough following God or to fit his type. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough when I really was trying. He would often say "what if it's god's will" but it often felt like it was because he wanted to and not actually god's will.
I wish I had not listened to Christian friends, pastors and left the relationship 28 yrs ago. I wish I also had seen your video 28 yrs ago as well. Glad it’s out there for other people.
What do you mean I wish I had not listened to Christian friends, pastors? You mean their advise to you is wrong? Or they just want to try to fix your marriage? Don't blame them. It's your life, they may advise, but the final decision is yours.
Your information is very accurate. I have experienced this stuff in family and marriage. I frequently question myself as well & weather I have been behaving the same way in self defense because I am so burned out from swimming upstream from the abuse! I am a peace keeper at my core and the constant conflict and anger thrown at me is exhausting! I have responded with anger I have to own as well now!
I am not making excuses for us losing it but I told my ex, you can’t back someone in a corner over and over and poke them and expect us not to react and then you say, “see, see what I have to deal with!?” I’m sorry but that’s gaslighting and manipulation!
That they don't care, I remember when my husband will go MIA for months. But it doesn't hurt anymore when I remember that. I just continually praying for both of us, if he wants to be set free then I will be happy for him. Thinking that there is someone out there that will have to treat him right. I will just be continually following the Lord and be a woman of God which I really desired to be and my personal goal. I just can't say those words to him, I don't want to be labeled as being dramatic or too emotional again. But I want and always praying for our healing. In the end I hope I have to see myself with him walking towards the Lord someday.
I have my own room on the other side of the house and I'M OK :) Struggled for years with my husband's lying, deceit, manipulation, and betrayal. I was on the covert abuse hampster wheel. I cried my eyes out until i became physically ill. I had to separate myself.
Needed this word to help me with toxin friends and mentors. Givers attract takers... Thank you for giving out what the Lord poured into you to help me...., and others.
IT IS NEVER GOD'S WILL FOR ANYONE TO BE ABUSED. PERIOD!!!!
Exactly! It is far better to be completely alone than to have others around you that would harm you or take advantage of you in you moments of weakness. It happened to me back in 2000. To keep anything similar from happening to me again, I deleted everyone from my life and never bothered to replace anybody. I iwll allows no possibility of the events of 30 December 1998 to 8 August 2000 from ever happening again. Thus, I have had no friends, a girlfriend, nor acqaintences, since 2000. It is far better to have nobody in your life than to have abusive or bad people in your life. This is written from experience. Being alone is nti the worse thing that could happen to anybody. It is far from it. For me, it has actually proven extremely beneficial to have nobody in my life. Nobody is going to die because they have no social existence. I am proof of this.
Get out of toxic don’t waste your years with toxic. God never wants us to be abused. Trust God to show you the way out for a productive life.
@@chartman194 I quit wasting my time with human companionship. Almost all of them are toxic. I just do what I must to live and succeed without having anything to do with humans. I interact with humans in a manner that a client would interact with a service provider or merchant. No interpersonal exchanges are ever made. I am done with what is regarded as friendship and amorous relationships. They have become nothing but opportunistic relationships and sex. I need none of that just to be abused later because I met my purpose for the opportunist. I will never be social again.
That’s what the narcissist says you do. They say you never forgive. Forgiveness does not mean to keep taking it!
Thank you. So often Christian women(pastor's wives in my life) say that there is not enough reason to leave unless the kids or I are getting physically abused. Here is my thing...so much happens leading up to physical abuse. It doesn't just happen. And why does someone have to be bleeding before we leave? Really people? How can it be God's will for us to put up with emotional abuse either?
I find myself singing “no weapon formed against me shall prosper “ find so much comfort in that. I feel so much at peace.
Amen 💕 🙏🏻 💕
Thank you, I’m going to start singing that too. Already I say, “Your peace Lord, your peace” - that’s helps a lot. When he’s in a rage I just concentrate on our Saviour; his love and his peace. But I’m going to add yours, it’s truth.
All these Christian’s making their partners the enemy and claiming God is telling them they are toxic.
Listing off traits that just about every human being has in one form or another.
Here’s a verse for you, we wrestle not with flesh and with blood.
Your partner is not forming a weapon against you, your partner likely suffered from abuse and trauma and hasn’t gotten the help they need. That doesn’t make them the enemy, the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy. Imagine claiming to know God and love God and believing your partner is evil and an enemy of God. Yet you forget that God lives that person the same as he loves you. This is just typical of this modern age wheee relationships or disposable, people are disposable. If you are not married than what difference does it make, leave. You are living in sin anyway and talking about what God wants for you. Hypocrisy is abounding.
Thank you for that!!!!! God bless you, Sister! 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
I think I'll adopt that song for my healing anthem. TY
1. Lack of love and respect.
2. Manipulative and Controlling
3. Constant conflict and strife.
4. Unforgiveness
5. Dishonesty and deceit.
6. Lack of boundaries and personal freedom.
7. Selfishness
8. Abusive
9. Lack of Trust and insecurity.
I just went through all of that,i was really dumb founded by the whole deal,very sad. Gone now never to see her again. A covert Christian narcissist is really scary, the neglectful attitude was very disturbing,but a total stranger she had all kinds of time for them.i will never get it.
Amen
Going through this with my ID twin sister and planning to leave. We roommate together. She's a covert narcissist and a raging alcoholic. So abusive and evil
I went through all of this in my 5 year situationship they I finally walked away from. This person created a story in there head and kept it going , until he got literally caught in the act. I’ll never submit to a man that has not submitted to God first. I’ll never be again, a girlfriend working with wifely duties and is not a wife.
all items you referenced were in my relationship with my Husband (Narcissist)
18 years ago my abuser beat me on the head with a baseball bat. The Christian counselor said to forgive. Took me 13 years till I divorced him. I now am living with him trying to cohabitate and it's not working. The verbal abuse is too much to handle. I feel crazy. I finally have a way to leave now and I am carefully planning my escape. Thank you for your videos I just found you today and needed this extra push.❤
I pray for you and your safety 🙏 ❤️
@loriraemorris4142 yes forgive but leave to allow both of you a better life.
Grab the bat
Call 911 and get them out
Churches andcso-called "christian" counselors are a huge problem. They should all take these courses. Praying for you.
Am thankful that this channel is honest about what to expect from those that don't use God's principles in their life. Not only are they not using those things but want to create harm on others, physically and emotionally. She is amazing in her breaking down of biblical characteristics to live by..
Toxic people hate BOUNDARIES.
What do you consider boundaries? Your statement means nothing. Stonewalling is not boundaries. The silent treatment is not a boundary.having different perspective or opinion is not a boundary. Toxic is just a phrase that people use to describe a behavior that is damaging. There isn’t a person in the planet who is not toxic in some way or another. RUclips is chocked full of people claiming God said this and God said that. Full of people deciding for themselves that their partner is a narcissist because they do some of the things a RUclips therapist told you makes them a narcissist. No counselor worth a damn would diagnose someone without meeting with them in person. Anyone who watches a bunch of RUclips videos and decides that someone is something is a fool. Anyone who believes God is revealing their partner is toxic is even more of a fool. You may very well be in a toxic relationship, he or she may very well be a narcissist, but narcissism is a very specific disorder. Everyone does half the things in the list. Bottom line, if the person refuses to put in the required effort to make it work, and you are not married, move on. Therapy creates victims. These people literally find ways to show you that you are a victim. If someone is a victim then someone must be an abuser. If therapy doesn’t work, as many have said here, then why are you taking advice from a therapist?
No toxic people just hate boundaries, tell a person who thinks they run the world and are entitled to everything no and watch the chaos thay ensues. The blaming name calling, lieing about your character to others. Simple rules to have for your home they don't respect but expect others to respect theirs. Toxic people exist. Theres toxic traits and straight up toxic people, who thrive for this lifestlye of victim mindset versus someone who actually is a victim of their narc games. This doesnt make us victims but keeps us from staying one with support of the word.@user-ty3fe8gq1f
@@Bobjones-g6c wow.
@@Bobjones-g6cAny fool knows what a boundary is. You must be something way beneath and beyond a fool.
@@janberger4057 they don’t respect them that’s for sure
I've emotionally, physically, and mentally checked out. It's the only way I can survive this. My peace is my priority now.
I was watching some videos yesterday, right here on RUclips, of American Women who live and Work in Brothels, and let me say that this is Not the first time that I hear that a LOT of Married Men go there to have S*X ON THEIR WAY to work, or On their Way from Work. It made me realize that Sometimes, being SINGLE is A BLESSING.
I did the same thing for years, emotionally, physically and mentally checked out, deeply hungry for peace. It’s your coping mechanism for survival. My heart goes out to you. Praying for your path towards freedom.
I truly feel for you😢 l was married to pastor for 27 years and eventually l was strong enough to get out. I had been hoodwinked into believing that l was wrong, HE was the pastor so had yo be right! Now, almost 37 yrs later, l'm still checked out at a deep level. On the surface l'm fine, but closed down inside and didn't know how to switch on again. Hearing teaching on the narcissist, l'm FINALLY seeing that l wasn't the problem, what a release. I had finally let go of feeling l had to defend myself and let God be my vindicator, and He's brought this teaching to me!! Hang in there, the Lord will show what to do and how to get free, but we do need help from someone who understands this behaviour we've submitted to. Bless you, l pray you find your help soon. ❤ xx
Same here! I’m checked out.
I had a covert religious Narcissist in my life once, and later realized my body was warning me of her toxicity, and I should've listened to God's warning concerning her. I emailed her my written testimony, and she called me. When I saw her name on Caller ID I picked up the receiver expecting to hear encouraging words, but instead heard cutting, hurtful words. And my body jerked back on my chair while my heart sank within me. My body was recoiling from her yet I didn't listen to it -- I made excuses for her, telling myself she was having a bad day. She continued exploiting and manipulating me for years, when I finally went no contact. I literally changed my phone number, and learned "When someone shows me who they are, I need to believe them."
My sister is a Bible 'swinging and throwing' 'Christian'. She always says the Devil made her do it and everything is the Devil's fault. She judges harshly and has a demonic tongue. 💖 💖
Hope its going well bro
Religious narcs are the worst….i was married to one and the lord took me out of it via his adultery
That’s the tricky part. No one wants to believe it
Covert religious narcissist or intimacy anorexia or what ever you want to call it, hurts us so badly but we stay. It is abuse.
Depending on the situation and on the narcissist, it is probably best to not engage. If you know they are lying or trying to fight, just stop talking. Don't get emotional and don't raise your voice. It is very difficult for a person to fight with themselves.
That is so true. I leave the narcissistic other to themselves. Keep my poker face on, and don't engage. The need me to fill up the silence,which I refuse to do. I am quite happy with me,myself and I.
The Lord told me I can’t do this on my own strength but to trust Him for his strength
Same, going through this currently, my husband told me I’m guilty of all his issues, total projection, my responsibility is for myself , I’m gone for 6 months ish and he couldn’t care less, except when he calls me drunk and late to fake cry and mess with my heart some more
One thing is certain. Never depend on a human for help, support, nor companionship. They will not add to your strength. The will suck, destroy, your strength. it is horrible that it has become this way. Keep your enemies far and your, "friends," further. In fact, keep the entire species away from you.
Amen
Had a case of total abuse with someone I counseled with, that ended so well. The husband's life was totally changed by Christ, and he started treating her so well and has never gone back to being abusive. That was over 10 years now
@@indridcold8433 I now know this. It's a pitty.
God, please. Please heal the narcissistic personalities of the world.
Yes ahmein
When i recognize that I am having t to do a dance or worry about the outcome of every single interaction I have with someone, I know the relationship isn’t healthy. It’s just not worth it with toxic people. I give them to God and move on. I’ve had to walk away from toxic family and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I wouldn’t exchange the peace I’ve gained in healing for anything. God doesn’t want us to be used and abused.
It's difficult enough to live in this world today and with all these mind games with people one can totally go out of their mind. Remember this is god's creation and the environment you are placed in is done by god
The inner peace is boundless when I cleared out trapped emotions I had. I did meditations by Aaron Doughty and feel so much joy now. ❤❤❤
Very well stated.
@manjulasingh2362 Not all gods work. The devil is also hard at work on this planet.. stop using God as a excuse for the work of the devil
Your comment makes me wonder. The man I've been with for one year has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster; where he initially seemed to take joy in lifting me up, celebrating my successes, now, since I've had a promotion, he's insulting me publicly and makes my stomach churn. I'm walking on egg shells in every conversation. It's happened almost overnight and I'm so confused. Please 🙏
5:01 "Lack of love and respect: a clear sign of toxicity."
You just described 90% of humanity. With that high level of negative people, I have opted to forego all interpersonal, social, interactions, associations, and bonds. The only way to interact with humans is in a manner that is similar to the manner that a client would interact with a service provider or merchant. After the business exchange, conclude the meeting and never readdress the human, if at all possible. If necessary to address the human again, make it identical to the first transaction style with the human. This level of aloofness, detachment, and standoffish behavior, will maximise the odds of not establishing any sort of familiarity. The goal is not to establish any sort of connection with the person outside of the business at hand. Today, a friend is nothing but a low level enemy in disguise. A love interest is nothing but an opportunist ready to take all they can. Make no connections and make no conflict. Delete the social aspect of your life. You will not regret it.
@@indridcold8433 sounds like it works, but sad to live it out.
Let’s all pray 🙏 to be saved from toxic. My siblings and mother is poisining my soul, I thank God for protection and reading the Bible and listening to preachings so that I and my daughter will not get lost in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏
Amen 🙏🏻 ❤️
We can trust God. As long as we follow Holy Spirit, we can trust.
Mother and child are both hard
Amen
Amen in Jesus Christ's name 🙏🏻 💕 ✨️ 🕊
I remember the day the Lord spoke to me about severing the relationship with my corrosive daughters. The quest" What does light have to do with darkness?" Popped into my heart and mind at the same time. My answer to him was "nothing".. The next thing that popped into my mind was " Walk away and put them in my hands". Best decision ever. Got peace now and it taught me to identify toxic people in my life and walk away too. Got new friends that are not toxic. Also it opened up doors for me to see many of my own toxic behaviors and become lovable. Took a long time, but now I get to teach the Bible to inmates in our local jail. Learned an awful lot and have joy in my heart. God is really good and He's really smart too! 🙏
I’m blown away I’ve been praying for clarity and understanding for my situation especially as a Christian. I’m literally crying 😭
I went to 18 years of Catholic School. Narcissism and the different types of narcissist were NEVER taught to me in those 18 years.
My question, WHY NOT?
Praying for you!
Crying here too oh
I completely understand how you feel. I’m a Christian also and didn’t know what I was getting into until it was too late, after we got married. I’m so glad that God used this media outlet for people like us. We think we’re the crazy ones but it’s really the narcissist patner that makes us feel crazy. Praise God we have a Godly lady who is helping us.
Part one: learn about them. Part two: learn why they’re so attracted to us! We’re”too too” too loving, too forgiving, too agreeable, too understanding. That only works in a healthy relationship- not ever w a narcissist! We learned early in childhood- “our place” in life! They did too! Perfect matches! Everyone except a narcissist deserves more respect n better treatment than they are capable of giving! It will never make sense to a healthy person. Trying to explain is like talking to the wall! Run and be glad you got out!!!
Every single sign....ive been so stubborn thinking that eventually God will change him. Instead God opened my eyes to see what he was. Also realize i was raised by a narc and have dated them every single time. But the Lord is so good. He has given me His strength. I would be lost without Him. My healing didn't happen the way I imagined. It was so painful but it's a relief to see. Thank you Lord. I know you will make a way. Keep me safe. In Jesus name i pray.
Amen sis.
@@kaitlincox9714 Yes, I wasted 39 years waiting for him to change. Then God let me find these videos. I no longer consider him capable of change because he won't. I'm living separately from him and though I'm still financially dependent I'm away from his abuse.
@@楊宜強 I'm glad your away from the abuse. I also left 2 months ago and took my kids to a domestic violence shelter. God is providing everything we need!
#1...toxic mom my whole life, I'm 55, she throws unpredictable attacks on me demonstrating no love or respect! I'm learning my identity in Christ and now she can't hurt me❤thank you Kris for helping me!
THIS!!
I understand your sitution.i have that kind of toxic mother..I am turning 50 tomorrow...we just have to keep growing in Christ and set our boundaries whether they like it or not. Obey Gods word and pray for our mothers...
@rollerbug21 Amen! It's sad we have these moms, but I was able to let that hurt go when I learned my identity is only in Jesus, that's it! ..and how my mom views me just doesn't matter anymore...
Sending hugs, Lisa❤️
DITTO!
I can relate
Another clear-cut sign that someone has no respect for your emotional health, is when they don't take any responsibility for their part in things, they don't apologize and they just continue weaponizing everything that you're emotionally dealing with against you.
I recently had someone who I was trying to form a friendship with do this. It has led me to come to the conclusion that if I have to tell an adult how to apologize or that they should apologize then I'm not in the right age bracket. If I wanted to continue having kindergarten relationships I suppose I would stay in the relationship to see if we could form a friendship down the line. However, I've grown up and I'm getting off the monkey bars now.
I speak this over my problems. In Zechariah 4:6, The statement “Not by might nor by power but by my spirit” His grace is sufficient. Amen
Today I was yelled at called selfish, thrown bible verses at me and also told “all the things I have done for you…” just for saying a firm No!
Jezebel loves the Bible’s scriptures. Jezebel is strong within narcs. Control and manipulation
How dare you say no? Don't you know you only exist to please him? To do everything that's asked of you without question or rebuttal? You have to sacrifice yourself and place all his needs before yours; before your health; before your comfort. 🤦🏾♂️
Toxic people HATE other people's boundaries.
Preach 🙌
I have heard the way to see if someone is a narcissist... tell them no. The reaction to 'no' will give you the answer.
My husband displays every single trait listed, in some form, as a covert narcissist. I’m in trouble 😟 But I do not fear as I know God will see me through 🙏
praying 🙏
fast and pray
Praying 🙏 for you. Learn her other lessons on HOW to protect your heart and not be sucked into the toxic ❤
Remember God has called you to peace. If you tell him if he doesn't want to be married to a Christian then he is welcome to leave (say this with gentleness and love) if he does want to stay with you then let him stay and keep sacrificing for him, pray and fast for him and win him without a word. Doing this he will either leave or change and stay ❤
You’ll have to Leave because I have a covert Narc father….. and met many in my life… they lie aim is to Destroy you.
1. Lack of apology and RENPENTANCE
2. Lack of respect
3. Lack of partnership or teamwork
4. Controlling & Manipulative
5. Isolating
I grew up in this nightmare and didn’t even realize. I knew something was wrong but not exactly what.
That's exactly what I experienced too.
@@HarrySwords me too!
My hurt healed in 11 months. I surrendered to God. Lots of tears, cried more than I have in my life sometimes daily. Connected with prayer partners and a community that understands
Discernment IS key. The confusion is the most difficult part. Thats exactly how I felt the entire relationship, what he said kind of made sense but didn’t resonate and I was gaslight and manipulated so much I just believed what he said, past trauma, especially unhealed past trauma, really makes it difficult to have healthy relationships. Seek Jesus and heal FIRST!
Dishonest and deceit. Are the worst
Runs deep in blacks 😢
Satan is the author of confusion so how do you take the signs you see at times then the effort being put in another times and decide whether you are actually being lied to and not able to prove it or if they are actually telling the truth and the signs you are seeing are from the trauma of lies they told you in the past?
Feeling confused is key. Its a very very strong indicator your in the wrong relationship and in fact with a toxic person.
I feel so confused. In the middle of a divorce now, my 3rd. First was an alcoholic and abusive, 2nd was caught molesting children he coached and now this is my 3rd. I’m mortified and embarrassed for myself but mostly for my children. I feel like it MUST be me! I want to fix whatever it is. I believe this time, there are multiple issues, Asperger’s/narcissism/ADHD and possibly sociopath. (Our marriage counselor stated all of those for him) But I also know I am not perfect and wondering if I cause people to react the way they do. I am loud. I’m always loud. I’m loud when I’m happy, I’m loud when I’m sad, I’m loud when I’m upset. I don’t know how to be different. And should I change? Is this the way God made me? I don’t know. All I know is I am TIRED. I want to fix myself, whatever is mine. And I am constantly asking myself if it’s always all my fault. He would never go to counseling. He felt it was all my fault. You can’t help but believe it after so long.
Truly. Who wants to spend hours & hours & hours trying to figure out one single bizarre interaction? Let alone multiple such interactions! What a waste of time!
My friendship of five years I have known since day one that it's toxic. It slowly started making me toxic and has turned me cold to love from others in my life. No more. I'm a single mother and this man has ruined my heart.
Be wary of relationships in which you are always the “crazy”, “unbalanced” or “villain” in the relationship. I currently experience this with my family. It took me a while to realize that my sister convinced everyone that I was mentally unreliable so that my opinions were disregarded, and only her interests were considered in the issues we faced at home. Each time her reprehensible attitudes were questioned by me, she used my supposed “madness” to derail my arguments. Fortunately, with the help of friends, I realized what was happening and stopped questioning my sanity and judgment. I no longer allow her to do this, and I am already distancing myself physically and emotionally from her, because she is a selfish, unscrupulous person.
Thank you! You put into words what is happening to me! Not by a husband but another authority figure. It’s sad when you realize people close to this abuser suddenly look at you with distant and ignore you when once you were good friends with you too. I’m copying this down for future help!
thirty plus years. to realize it wasn’t just me i’ve moved out of the house living next door unable to leave.no driver’s license. nine months to go i’ve given it to the lord to show me the way.praying for us all.
Thank you so much... I find this a complete blessing!!!!!!! I'm learning to assert boundaries. I have been up so many nights to discern it all out.
I'm doing this for the family my kids can't be subjected to this anymore
Be careful especially if she is one of the elder siblings. My two eldest siblings hated me for being born. They feel I took from them. Just my existence bothers them and when my parents passed away they manipulated my mom to trust them as executor and Healthcare proxy. They put her in a nursing home and when she passed away of neglect they took everything everything. They actually packed a garbage bag with garbage and broken items from my parents basement and they gave that to me as my inheritance. Let this be a warning to anyone that reads this.. these people are born evil selfish and greedy and they stay that way until the end.
Father help us... it's difficult in this world. It truly is a strange land out there. People seem to have no souls or hearts. There is no one home inside. 😥
I used to tell lies out of fear due to trauma imposed on me by my narcissistic mother, but I am working on it with God's grace.
The signs were revealed by God, yet at the time I gave it my all and tried to make the marriage work. A marriage I should have never entered.
I made exactly the same mistakes!
I sensed that there was something not healthy, but I gave it my all and tried so hard as a Christian to make a marriage work that I should never have entered into.
Now my boundaries are strong.
Now I see clearly.
So many lessons learned.
I divorced him and now I live alone and experience so much peace.
My husband of 48 years has had10 affair that I’m aware ok. The last one was the last straw. Children are grown, have children of their own and are financially independent.
When I discovered last affair, I thought’” I’m FREE!!”
Praying for him. We have been together since I was 16. Married at 20 and 21.
I guess he’s “in love”, again. Has happened a couple of times before.
Signed up for online counseling for next Thursday. I want to get thru my pain.
But also pray that he will have true repentance and accept Christ.
He was baptized before we were married. Silly me, I fell for it. Lol
Even if we never get back together, he needs to turn to a better life.
He will be 70 next year prayers for us both please
I just prayed for you. ❤
Who would have thought you still have it going on at 70😱
Please start with baby steps of taking care of you. Get your belongings in order (your savings) & eventually leave 💛
@@findingdori442 I’m gone.
Living on my own in my own home since June. Still occasionally feel devastated
NO WAY I could ever go back!!
Just feel so bad for our children and grandchildren that he’s been such an ass and that things have turned out like this.
I just learned all this at age 75!!!!! Now everything makes sense!
I recently went through a tough breakup. My 7 year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been really hard for me. I still love my ex so much and can't stop thinking about him. I've tried everything to win him back, but nothing has worked. It's frustrating, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I've been trying to move on, but I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I know it might sound strange to share this here, but I miss him a lot and just can't stop thinking about him.
I understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar situation when my 12 year relationship ended. I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to win him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, and their guidance ultimately helped me to bring him back into my life.
Amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact them?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help restore your relationship with your ex.
Thanks for sharing this valuable information. I just looked him up online and I'm impressed.
@@AntjeMoenchSeriuosly?!?!? You’re promoting a WITCH DOCTOR on a Christian channel?!?!? May the Lord rebuke you!
My mother uses church, scriptures, and religion to hide and cover up her manipulations and control. She projects shame and guilt on me as she gaslights her gossip and slander. My whole life I've been so confused because my mom is "sprinting" to heaven. She goes to church every Sunday. At church we learn that we are children of God and about feeling the "love of Jesus" but the confusion has been my mother's projection of shame and family scapegoating as she is "holier than thou". My entire life I have never had the opportunity to communicate my experiences and feelings when there has been conflict. I have always been blamed and shamed with no opportunity to speak or communicate. I've been shoved in a corner and stomped on as the family doormat. I have finally stepped away and removed myself from the toxic family dynamic. 😊
Good girl
Thank you so much for this. I am 34yr old and never had a girlfriend, just a long string of toxic people going through my life, beginning with narcissistic relatives. The last few years, I have mostly recovered from codependency and anxiety, and God has healed mostly all the hurt. Now, I am looking to finish healing and to more wisely approach situations going forward. I want to be prepared to step into God’s call on my life and to meet and marry a Godly woman.
Some people are controlling in many areas and they are always RIGHT! Always right even if they are wrong.
Yup hi blue,I could not deal with it.
@@dennyfie peace of mind is more important, for sure.
I'm leaving a domestic violent narcissistic marriage.
I became reactive abusive, and that was the last straw
He does NOT forgive and uses it against me
Blame shifts, victim blames,
along with Control and manipulative
NO conflict resolution or compromise
Thank you
Blessings
I can relate 😢
#2 I’ve lived with this but now I’m free and alone it’s going to stay that way because I’m not interested in turning myself inside out to please another human ever again. I’m happy being alone and being free to be myself
I was like that for a long time, then my teenage lover showed up and screwed me over big time. Glad she is gone,I will never let that happen again.
I have embraced my singleness…I am not lonely, nor depressed and enjoy living my life alone…..
No more drama, or emotional roller coaster….
The only one I am accountable to is God…
I'm in the throes of self doubt and emotional ❤, God placed this in my earbuds as I walked this morning.
My ex is guilty of all....so far...I'm lucky to be alive....thank God....the neighbor down the street had a "thing" for him....and he left me for her......God IS good....Thanks Kris!
Karen , This is also my story . But God .....I thank him for making a way out for me even though some people people don't truly believe that he was like that (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual abusive. I so understand why they would think that way . He was sooooooo loving sooooooooo understanding sooooooooo protective of me......... there wasn't anything he or I wouldn't do for each other. ..... we've known each other 16 years before we got together . I never knew he had this other side . (Woman, Woman, Woman) everywhere we went....his phone never left his side. He loved his job because of being around the woman ( he works for a lawn care company) it gives him the opportunity to show himself to others and to see them in many settings. Certain times of the year he would have to work all night and early mornings plowing snow or throwing salt down and he was able to get his eyes full of some people getting ready for bed, getting up in the morning and or watching people make love to each other.....this is no joke. At least not in my eyes. I also knew he and the next-door neighbor had something going on ..... pay attention to where they take you, who they introduce you to, and sooo on . They are ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THEIR NEXT PRY . I was put in the hospital twice. Finally, I was able to escape the nightmare . I now have a place of my own. I owe it all to my lord and savior Jesus Christ for supplying all the means of getting away from him. No one can do us like Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN.
I'm glad you lost that weight and also lm glad you understand. I pray the Heavenly Father releases me from my marriage. I'm happy for you tho😊
I wish mine would leave for someone else. I feel trapped.
@@michellethomas4928 Try leaving him emotionally...make your full time job.... working on yourself, nurturing yourself, loving yourself.... try new activities...slowly... try eating better, working out, reading nurturing, insightful books.....and ask God.....or your Higher Power to help you with this....meditate and pray. ❤️🙏
I'm glad I found another who has understanding of this, I hope the Lord will give you deliverance from this abuse and you get help from people who understand and have empathy, Peace , love and respect to you 😃🦄💗💙💚❤💛💜👽✌🌹🌌🕊🦁😃
Going to counseling with a narcissist is a waste of time and money.
Is it?? My keeps pushing me and I keep saying No. I've been in therapy since 18yrs old. I'm now 44yrs old. He has never gone.
@@cazb4421 if he's the one pushing for it, then go. If not, he'll say later on that it's because of you the marriage failed and the universe is turning inside out.
@JW-po9mb I'm going through that already. He blames me for everything and doesn't own anything cause he's embarrassed. If I go to therapy, I will embarrass him. He has cheated and had emotional relationships with other women. He goes away for48 hours, and I don't know where he is or who his with. I have 2 children who are watching his behaviour. I don't want to fix it. He plays too many games, hurts me and thinks it's funny. I have 20 years left on this earth. I want peace, happiness for me and my children. Being with him will destroy us all.
@@cazb4421 I'm in the same exact boat you're on. Please find a good therapist who can help you deal with all that you've been going through. We all know that dealing with them is huge task and destroys us in ways we could never have imagined. No one should have to go through life suffering under the hands of another. A therapist will help you to get your self esteem and self worth back. Please get help.
JW; Yes, mine said, he wanted to learn HOW to better control people. Not the point of therapy. I left.
So true. He didn't care about my pain. I struggled with that. He didn't struggle with ANY part of the relationship.
Just an addition to this.. toxic people will ghost you to make you desperate to keep you from asking them for anything.
He was upset that I was in pain. Now he says I shouldn't be making myself miserable.
He won't take the step of regaining my trust.Ive asked him to walk with me.But he continues to hide and lie and then they come up with compassionate responses to me. So I am the problem.
This is my mother and my ex. I finally realized at 60 that I had married my mother and how that all fits together. I wish people could learn this earlier in life.
Me too, I'm just coming up to 60 & same scenario... praying for wisdom & discernment. 🙏
Kris Reece, your videos are helping me tremendously to stop giving the toxic narcissists in my life the attention they so crave from me. Thank you for sharing your godly wisdom.
1. Control
2. Manipulation
5. Dishonest but tries to hide it as just joking
6. Personal freedom- I have limitations on when I go out (I’m a caregiver) and it’s my responsibility to make sure my schedule revolves around when he can get free help
7. He very little thinks about how his actions effect me or make me feel
8. Abuse- very verbally abusive at times and blames it on his disability
9. Lack of trust- constantly accuses me of lying or says I don’t know what I’m talking about
Yes, they are dishonest, and please don’t think to compete. The Lord will come to a people ready for Him.
Amen and Amen for the prayer, Kris.
In spite of childhood and extensive adulthood narcissism, the deep knowledge owing that Truth will set us free. My middle name is FAITH. Hope is just a passing thought.
Yes, Get away from abuse. They get worse not better. Evil n sick. Leave. Get out. Listen to what Kris is saying.
#1 Lack of Love & Respect - For the first couple of years, I was loved and respected. But the last 4 were extremely disrespectful and love was expressed, but not shown. #2 I experienced excessive gaslighting #3 Conflict, He never let me bring up struggles. He would always say "that's the past" (even if he just said something 5 minutes ago). #4 Lack of forgiveness and holding grudges. I had a unique experience with this. He was quick to forgive, but would bring it up later when it suited his point. He was never willing to talk to me about relationship problems. #5 Dishonesty & Deceit - Honesty was rarely given to me, but he always claimed he could not lie. #6 Lack of Boundaries & Personal Freedom - He harped on our future being ONLY the two of us. I shouldn't include family or friends. This was what killed the piece of the relationship we had left. He moved on to a mutually toxic person who would agree with everything he said of did (including cheating). #7 Selfishness - Givers attract Takers. One of my biggest mistakes in this Toxic Relationship was not setting boundaries to begin with. In the 6th year, when I tried to set boundaries, he started looking for, and found, a more compatible person. #8 Abusive - Physically, Verbally or Emotionally - He became verbally & emotionally abusive. If someone hurt or upset him, he would do the same to me. #9 Lack of Trust and Insecurity - I would give him trust, but he would always break it. I am talking about every single time. He would always say how much he trusted me, but never did when it counted. This made me very insecure in the relationship (which was very founded in the end).
My takeaway from this toxic relationship is that the toxic person will either make the effort and work required to make the relationship better, or they will find a kindred soul who will live life their way. I am 72 and starting over again, after devoting 6 years of my life to this toxic relationship. I pray that God will help me learn from this and use it to help others.
I am 68 years old and starting over after he stole all my money. I have nothing. He kicked me out and after 7 months away from him, he is love bombing me daily. In 8 years, we went on vacations twice and both times he got angry and drove me back home 5 states away back home and left me and drove himself back to vacation alone. All the while I am asking what did I do? No response and never spoke of it again, like it never happened.
I can detect toxic relationships and cut ties with them immediately but at the same time, I think I might be very intolerant of people’s nonsense!😂😂
It’s so unreal to watch someone destroy your son and entire family with lies and isolation.
Your family too. My brothers wife did the same.
@@gal2727 I’m sorry! No one should go through this.
Do not watch
Your son being
destroyed. He is not a sacrifice. The abuser is
not worth giving
up your son’s
health for. Or
you will have
two damage
people. Get your son and
get away from
abuse.
I feel the pain. Same here. It's sad when the in-laws have turned your children and grandchildren against you. And triangulating spouse who has his own narcissistic traits. Very lonely for me since I am being dismissed (my communication is shut down) and causing much duress and self reflection. Almost think it would be easier to be a hermit.
Getting out is just not that easy when they're abusive
Accusing me of WHAT HE IS DOING... YES. YES…YES THATS him
God will bless you untold don't leave your narcissists heal them with the power of God. He isn't down with quitting
Amen about the discernment. My marriage is toxic. He is a covert narc. The Lord is showing me and teaching me. Itsvbeen awful but im learning and healing and working on seperation...careful seperation. Constant conflict,also. I love how you point to scriptures for all topics. Thx and blessings🙏
Yes. Careful separation is key, unless we want to end up on the streets. Because a narc will take everything from you if they can.
I want that free gift
Lack of Boundaries
@@theresasutherly871the one I just booted had zero respect for my property,feelings opinion nothing all about how she was smarter than anyone, it floored me when she told me no one was smarter then her. The most toxic experience I had ever been thru.
I am the
Co-dependant Queen falling off her throne 👸👑
1lack of respect and love,2manupilatin and control,3 constant conflict.they don't want to learn or accept anything gaslighting
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR MESSAGE❤
#1, #2(gaslighting), #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, I ask God every day for the strength to remove me from this relationship. I’m a giver by nature and this man only knows how to take.😢
I had this , I walked away completely after 5 years. He tried to tear me down, but uplift in another breath. I chose to follow Gods way and began to remove myself from the situationship. He began to say how he understood what I was doing and wanted to walk as well. That didn’t go so well of course, because it was all a lie because he needed something from me.
No more
You will know when you’re done. And when you’re done, you’ll be done.
Not my job to change him! I could have used this teaching decades ago. I learned this the hard way, just me and God with lots of pain.
What I learned from my situation is if you are losing yourself, get out!
I don't remember the scripture
but it says to know how you are.
You HAVE to get out!
Jesus loves YOU!
What about the children?
@crystalholscher5465 they are so damaged. I don't even know how to help.
All I know is I need to heal, in order to help them, there's things that they think are normal that are not because they came from such a dysfunctional household, but I have no idea what to do.
it unbelievably breaks my heart!
they struggle every single day!
@@kathrynwilliams5509 I’m sorry hang in there ❤️I wish I had better advice but im also still here and scared to make that decision..
Toxic NPD mother who has all of these traits. Thank you Lord for saving me!! I'm free but still dealing with smear campaigns, and family members who want me to continue in abusive relationship because they think that's honoring her. I pray for continued strength for anyone dealing with this.
We don't even need to have a family of our own to not want to spend Christmas with our family - a lack of desire is enough; if it was / is a loving environment, we'd want to spend that time...pressuring, guilting, or forcing someone to spend time with you is not love to begin with.
My reward for going through all I’ve been through with my inmates in this prison that masquerade as family is once I leave this place I never have to see them again. Ever.
Hopefully you've made your escape.
I escaped 3 months ago.
God is good!
Definitely the lack of respect and confusion. I didn't get it at first because he said he loved me
Thank you for this video! It's a huge help for me!
Thank you so much. I am learning A LOT about myself and how I can be the toxic partner. It's so easy to point the finger at your spouse and say it's ALL him. But the LORD is showing me that I have some character defaults that I need to work on. I have trauma that needs to be addressed. The LORD is so patient and so loving ❤️
Some people are brilliant at manipulation and you never know what has come at you.
Kris, you were an answer to my prayers. The relationship has been over for months, but I was struggling with letting go. Because of this toxic relationship (along with the death of my adult daughter 8 years ago), I have decided to be a grief coach. There are so many kinds of grief and this is one of them. Grieving for a lost relationship is a real thing.
1. Lack of Respect
2. Manipulation and Control
3. Conflict and strife
4. Unforgiveness ( both of us)
5. Dishonestly and deceit ( both of us)
6. Lack of boundaries
Amen to your prayer. Prayer truly is the key to dealing with life in general. Proverbs 3:5-6
Holy Spirit, lead me to discernment!
You should not try to control others exactly right & do not allow others to control you. This is what she is saying.
Allow there to be peace in the relationship
Simple, he's gone. I regained my peace & life.
My husband has all of the traits you described in a toxic relationship.I need wisdom from God how to deal with this.🙏🙏🙏
I woke up before 5am. Prayed then began to work in kitchen. the minute he got up I began feeling like the presence of Evil was around me. Soon, he was fighting against me using the kids. I felt so horrible.
I decided to rebuke the spirit of depression that made me feel bad.
Thanks Kris for this post where we can see that we are not alone. I feel encouraged by all these encouraging fighters like myself. I pray God gives us strength to be more than conquerors everyday.
I am beyond crushed can’t believe I am here again so angry at myself!
Me too I feel the same as you!!
I am accepting and putting theses problems in Gods hands, and he is helping me a bit every day. I am becoming an even better Christian because of my misfortune. Jesus is leading me now!! 🙏❤️🙏
3rd time for me…talk about mad at yourself!! A friend told me the other day when I asked her what is wrong with me, she said, “how about instead of asking yourself THAT, you ask yourself why are you settling for people who aren’t worthy of your love.”
I was married first time for 16 years to a narcissist. Then single for 16 years. Moved half way around the world, and I have found another one, but not as extreme. I’m also realizing that as a young girl my dad left when I was 5. I thought I must not be lovable. My mom married an abusive man. When I was single for the 16 years, I thought I had done my work, yes I came a long way, but I see now I still have unresolved issues. I’ve been learning to set my boundaries, learn to quiet my mouth. I need to do my part and put my heart in it’s proper place and now I silently pray to the Lord when the moments pop up and he fixes the situation. God 😊is so good and merciful to me a sinner!
It's amazing how well you understand the abuse it's brutal. As a Christian I prayed and endured thinking things would change but after 40 years of working and holding the business together. They make you out to be the problem and the idiot.
Thank you for being so transparent! It is also important that people accept that whether a person claims to be a Christian or not, they have individual rights to refuse to have relationships with anyone they don’t want a relationship with. Manipulative, controlling people often have a problem accepting that they don’t have “authority” over anyone but themselves, and often don’t accept the other person’s “NO” regardless of how many times that person absolutely refuses to have a relationship with them. It’s so sad to experience that and observe other people do it to our friends. One thing we can do is continue to pray for those manipulative, troubled people that they will find other relationships to fill their emotional voids with. God expects people to maintain their individual sovereignty and boundaries regardless of who refuses to accept that! People will continue to leave the “church” when the “church” continues to deny the Holy Spirit indwelling of each person and uses relationships as authoritative weapons to whip people into submission of their coercive control.
Thank you for all you do! You are very appreciated!
Have you noticed that some people who don’t want authority over them don’t let God in their hearts because they want to do whatever they want to do?
@dianesimon5937- I am not sure I understand what you mean, but I respect your viewpoint. May we all find ways to live independently, peaceably and with self-discipline, while not allowing others with ego imbalances abuse or manipulate us. May God bless you in this new year in your journey, and may God bless Mrs. Kris as she ministers!
@@RoB-dp1cm May God Bless you in this New Year, as well!!
@@dianesimon5937please ask God to restore my job and life back in Him not this Antichrist system I regret leaving or looking back to TV and Immorality. This was wrong and I regret this and want back i would have loved a family and church church. I hate this. Waste ...
Exactly, I was gobsmacked when I was the wicked one for wanting to name the things that happened... shut down and I am the villain.. will you forgive me for everything leaving the truth out. Yes I forgive her, and the family of flying monkeys who enabled and now I am so Free. I'm trying to learn how to love with discernment.
I'm so ready to leave but financially I am so messed up. It kills me that the only thing stopping me is money. I just keep praying for God to show me the way. It's so hard to heal in a situation like this.
In your same shoes. I finally told my soon to be ex that I want out but I’m trapped. He let me know he didn’t want me to feel trapped and that he would help me financially. Things have gotten really bad now and me and my 3 daughters are living in our RV bcs I couldn’t take it anymore. God will make a way. I was so sick for months before I finally left and guess what, poof, after being gone a week, no more sickness.
Sometimes “abuse” isn’t there but toxicity is still present in the dynamic
Abuse is voluntary or deliberately done action that is bringing forth destruction
Toxicity is non deliberated action that is destructive
Both at some level are skill issue but former one is at spiritual level and latter one at intellectual level
Dealing with at least 5 of the 7 in my marriage. Thank you for your teaching
God. Bliis. You more.❤❤❤
I’m number 1 through 9! and I’m struggling to get out.😭🙏🏾 I’m now starting my walk with God and it’s hurting them more than me
#4. I’ve forgiven but there is no way that I will allow this particular person back into my life to do it again even though they ask for another chance. This person is a narcissist and once they are identified to me by their behaviour they are banished from my life.
I prefer solitude to confusion, chaos, manipulation, and being used as a stepping stone to get what they want with no regard for what they’ve done to me
The deepest understanding of narcisisstic evil so far
Over 30 years of marraige experiencing all of this
Why?? Why are you putting up with it… leave him, don’t waste any more of your life. I put up with my narc ex husband for 37 years.. been no contact now for seven months, no, it’s not easy but I have no more feelings of fear… I feel lost at times, lonely at times but I have peace of mind now, no more arguments, gaslighting, silent treatment, no more being scared to voice my opinion… I’m slowly finding who I am again, will take time but hopefully I’ll get there. I’ve been asking God to help me and to give me the strength to get through the no contact phase🙏
I was in a relationship with this guy from my church. During our relationship as he got to know me more he realized that I wasn't his ideal of a perfect christian woman. He would often make comments about how he thought that I wasn't trying hard enough following God or to fit his type. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough when I really was trying. He would often say "what if it's god's will" but it often felt like it was because he wanted to and not actually god's will.
I just walked away from the guy I was dating for the last year and half everything you said is what he said and did
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom in Christ and for your prayer. I am so grateful! God bless!!!!!
Pure confusion with my husband, at all times.
I wish I had not listened to Christian friends, pastors and left the relationship 28 yrs ago. I wish I also had seen your video 28 yrs ago as well. Glad it’s out there for other people.
What do you mean I wish I had not listened to Christian friends, pastors? You mean their advise to you is wrong? Or they just want to try to fix your marriage? Don't blame them. It's your life, they may advise, but the final decision is yours.
Your information is very accurate. I have experienced this stuff in family and marriage. I frequently question myself as well & weather I have been behaving the same way in self defense because I am so burned out from swimming upstream from the abuse! I am a peace keeper at my core and the constant conflict and anger thrown at me is exhausting! I have responded with anger I have to own as well now!
I am not making excuses for us losing it but I told my ex, you can’t back someone in a corner over and over and poke them and expect us not to react and then you say, “see, see what I have to deal with!?” I’m sorry but that’s gaslighting and manipulation!
Nobody needs to tell me about the faults of other people. I can see them every time I take my eyes off my own.
That they don't care, I remember when my husband will go MIA for months. But it doesn't hurt anymore when I remember that. I just continually praying for both of us, if he wants to be set free then I will be happy for him. Thinking that there is someone out there that will have to treat him right. I will just be continually following the Lord and be a woman of God which I really desired to be and my personal goal. I just can't say those words to him, I don't want to be labeled as being dramatic or too emotional again. But I want and always praying for our healing. In the end I hope I have to see myself with him walking towards the Lord someday.
I have my own room on the other side of the house and I'M OK :)
Struggled for years with my husband's lying, deceit, manipulation, and betrayal. I was on the covert abuse hampster wheel. I cried my eyes out until i became physically ill. I had to separate myself.
Thank you for saying this! Love and respect are a must in a relationship! ❤
Needed this word to help me with toxin friends and mentors. Givers attract takers... Thank you for giving out what the Lord poured into you to help me...., and others.