3 Signs God is Saying it's Time to Let Them Go (+ Q&A)
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- Опубликовано: 15 апр 2024
- Do you believe it’s your duty to bear under toxic behavior, all in the name of love?
In this LIVEstream, you’ll get the clarity you’re craving as we dive into the 3 signs God wants you to let go of that person.
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Kris, is it biblical or okay in the eyes of God for the wife/woman to be the one to initiate the divorce? Or should she have the husband do it because he's the Head of the Household over her (in God's order of things)? And I'm referring to a marriage where the husband is the true narcissist.
Who ever wants the divorce should file and charge the husband to pay for the attorney if the women gave up her career to take care of his three kids .
A man who disrespects the female children and his wife by posting nude women or half dressed females ..shows great disrespect...he is a fruit cake.?
@@denise0777don’t forget, the Lord said to separate for a time of prayer. He doesn’t say how or where. Doesn’t mean one has to leave a bad marriage via divorce if you’re not willing to go that far. One shouldn’t keep the company of an angry man.
Kris thank you so much. You don’t know what a blessing you have been for me. Giving me the tools to deal with a narcissist boyfriend, which we’ve been married 3 times. I’ve always been so confused about what was going on with him. Now I know that he’s a narc. It has taken 3 divorces, so many time I’ve gone back because of the fact that he says he changed. Lol. Never happened. Thankfully this last time he came back, I wouldn’t marry him again because I know I can’t trust him and I don’t have any respect for him. I am complete in the Lord and understand what’s been happening to me for 18 years. Thanks again! Bless you! I will definitely listen to all your podcasts.
It’s DONE! 🙏🏾 ( anyone who see and cares please pray for me) Thank you in advance! 🌻🌻🌻
God heal you from this bad relationship, I have been there. 🙏
Amen...praying for you...GODS STRENGTH be with you
Keep in Mind Jesus desires the Best for you. The question is do you? Bless you in the Lord! Col 1:10 😄
I thought I should be there because of my kids but it turned out to be a nightmare I could not imagine
Praying for peace
Sometimes Good wants us out of the way so he can deal with them head on.
@lynn-soooo true.!
I have never considered this….any way you can elaborate? Thanks
I will hold on to this as my adult children have been estranged for 4 years.
Brilliant!! Simply brilliant.
@@Kittiesinclair5 I have had to do this with two people in my life that were not trusting God to work things out and were overly dependent on me. I would say they were enmeshed. I pulled away back to create a situation where they had to walk their emotional dependence out with God instead of me. One of the situations turned out to be very successful. The other one caused the overly dependent person to run to another person who enabled the codependency even though this person complain to me about it later.
After 33 years of an unhappy, toxic marriage, I’m finally getting the courage to walk away. I realize I can’t change him, but I can change myself by having enough self respect to leave!
Hola, hello beautiful world God Almighty bless all ❤️Thank u beyond words for these amazing videos thank u for shinning this Light ❤️🌈❤️
So true! The church was the most toxic resource for me. When my husband was emotionally, physically, and financially abusing me, I reached out to the church for help. He has isolated me from friends and family so church and a crisis hotline were my only resources. The church told me to stay and be a “good wife.” So I stayed and endured an additional year of him screaming, throwing things, drunk driving, him risking my life countless times. I did this all to please God (or so I thought). Then one day, I prayed to God begging for forgiveness and I filed for divorce. I ran away from home and hid out because my husband was going to be angry. I’m now free and divorce was finalized. God provided shelter, food, and a job for me. It made me feel like I may have made the right choice after all and He still loves me.❤ I wonder if I had listened to the church if I’d still have my life.
same
We have to be careful where we get advice, even in church. God is omnipotent, omniscient, merciful, loves us and loves justice. God knows us and our situation better than any one and He is our best advisor and advocate. God bless your journey with Him by your side!
I’m glad you left. I hope you left that church too
Amen !!
Always go to God first 🙏 he knows the whole situation and what's in their heart towards you.
WHENEVER SOMEONE BRINGS YOU CHAOS, ANXIETY, AND DESTRUCTION IT IS A VERY CLEAR SIGN FROM GOD THAT THE PERSON WAS SENT BY THE DEVIL AND NOT BY GOD. FOR GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION. THE ONE HE HAS FOR YOU WILL BRING GREAT PEACE, JOY, AND SECURITY.
So true. Unfortunately I found out the hard way. 🙏😭
It's too bad that so many of us wasted so many years being with someone God didn't want us to be with, but didn't/couldn't leave for whatever reason. A waste of years of our lives
No wasted years my friend. Only tested ones. Your messages are miraculous ma’am! Hard to digest- like God’s convicting words-keep listening-receiving, believing-THEN testifying. I’m almost there!!! No turning back!
Dear friend, I was married to what I eventually learned was a covert narcissist… for almost 50 yrs! I continually suffered… but desired to honor & obey God’s Word. I continually thought that if I was loving & gracious, & if we could patiently talk together sharing thoughts, then everything would be good. That never really happed… he didn’t really repent…. I don’t think….. And bigger issues came about. I also didn’t want to bring about destructive issues for my growing & maturing children & then many grandchildren.
Yes, this dear woman is very right about what she’s saying….. Interesting… bearing under abuse….that’s in my past…(& actually present but completely different circumstances).
However, my then spouse eventually became very sick, I cared for him for his last 12 yrs.
Thankfully, the years weren’t wasted… my children are strong but humble Christians with strong but humble spouses & grandchildren, growing in the LORD. Remember… Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God & are called according to His purposes.”
I’ve learned much in my old age… and trust the LORD. I’ve grown enormously spiritually.
so true. I feel that too...but I learned much...sadly the hard way.
Me too! Over 17 years in a legal binding agreement. It wasn't a biblical marriage. There was no oneness. I was used. And a year and a half legal battle, counseling, support groups and healing.
At age 65 & in very poor health, I can say it can waste your WHOLE LIFE!
Do NOT let that happen!!! Time passes & changes occur - like in your health - but situation does NOT get better. You may get used to it, but that isn't good enuff. If you stay anyway, whatever keeps you from being able to leave now, WILL get worse. And the toxic person lies in wait for that...knowing you can't do anything about it now, unleashes the worst in them. Do NOT stay so long that 1 day you wake up to find you CAN'T leave & live on your own!
It's done ✔️ I am peaceful when this man is not around me.
I'm looking for my way out; she dare not think I may be smarter than her.
I'm no longer responsible for changing this person.
@kelly -ecxellent !
And, you never were!
@@ChildoftheLIGHT amen!
I took a deep breath when I read this. It's something I have found needs constant re-inforcement.
Because they will never change.
It is about time someone addresses this topic in the church.
28 yrs of covert/narc/porn/abuse…
I blamed myself over and over, prayed, fasted and counseling… I’m finally done and divorce is final in the next couple of days! The knot in my gut is finally gone and my body is finally feeling normal…I lived with the devil…
Holding you in my heart and prayers.
God’s grace, protection and peace be with you ❤
After 30 years of trying I am finally doing divorce .. I am sad at the fact that is over but also more happier than I have ever been.. no anxiety no walking on eggshells and most importantly not wanting to feel like I want to not live anymore.. I have a purpose to live now
Bless you God is so good pleased your free x x x
Thank you for sharing. For me it was 34 years of marriage. Finally separated, I could not believe how peaceful my house became, the knot in my stomache gone. Blessings to you from God who is faithful and true love always!
I hear you. The devil with in the sanctity of marriage is real.
39years marriage- now separated and healing with God
I have a narc husband of 38 y and a 30 y old son with multiple special needs. Dear God please rescue me now. Amen
I understand exactly how hard it is to,,,,,,I been married to one 40 years and have two sons with mental health problems bipolar and narcissistic tendencies both and they’re adults one is gonna be 40 years and the other is 36 both males living with us and my mom which is a covert narcissist too is living with me for the past 13 years and is now 75 years old and getting worse with her narcissistic tendencies believe me I’m praying 🙏🏼 to God to save them and give me strength and feel me with his spirit because is really really draining me I have fibromyalgia and barely can sleep with all this people draining my energy but because God love and mercy I can live day by day and keep waiting for his coming to go home,,,,and my daughter is a narcissist too that all her live hate me and still keep coming home to visit just to bring more caos to all of us like we don’t have enough so I think knowing my life now you my think you have it a little bit easier than me I be praying for you and Jesus is coming very very soon I mean he is right up here just waiting for his Dad to say ,,,,, NOW amen
You GOT this momma !!! I believe in you !!!
Praying for you 😢
I am in the same situation
While you wait to hear from God, start to envision yourself being set free. Envision yourself living life in peace. Envision yourself enjoying nature. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
God does the work not us. He works on you. Walk away and let Him work on them. Trust Him. Spiritual battles are His not ours.
It’s very heartbreaking when your narc husband (40 years married!) convinces your 3 adult daughters that HE is the victim. So I’m estranged from my daughters and also the 7 grandchildren. He’s divorcing me, telling everyone that he’s tired of my crap. The irony. I’ve gone through some unbelievable emotional suffering and yes, trauma, as a result of all the narcissistic’s classically horrendous behavior. Through counseling, I’m learning to change my mindset from grief and sorrow to thankfulness that he will be gone and I will finally be at peace. I am realizing that God is delivering me from evil. My husband will have to answer for his demonic-influenced choices.
🙏🙏🙏🌷🌷🌷
Keep trusting God will expose the truth trust me he will. Hang in there beautiful friend, I am praying for you . Restoration All the way 🙌🏾
Same to me but divorce is on the and God intervens for me.
It is done
I am sorry for your circumstances. Something like this happened to me. I will pray for you.
It is no coincidence I found you on this evening. I’m going through hell right now, I felt God spoke to me through you, thank you so much. God’s grace and peace be with you ❤ 🌷 🕊️
So many people are suffering these days. You are not alone. Church used to be a refuge from the world and for me, the one I was attending - it became so toxic that I have quit attending regularly-an extreme departure for one who cut her teeth on church pews. I’ve had to really beef up my personal prayer time & etc. But, when church begins to feel like a minefield & gives you PTSD episodes, it’s good to take a step back to get alone with God & heal.
I don’t know what personal hell you have been going through-but I wanted to share a shard of my own, to let you know you are not alone. I will be praying for you.
Stay strong, be brave and don’t give up until you get the help & support you need. Be your own best friend. Persevere. Do what you know is best for you, even if no one around you agrees or understands. Be your own best friend. Be kind & patient with yourself. Don’t allow guilt to keep you from taking care of yourself.
Amen
There is a misconception among Christians that divorce is a sin. When it comes to cyclical abuse, the abuser has abandoned the marriage by violating the word of God to cherish and love. The scriptures are replete about evil doers. Many Christian women and men suffer abuse because of the culture in the church.
Depart from evil for your sanity and ultimately your soul. For many it is their actual life. Many abused Christians have ended up dead with untold stories of abuse. They have developed chronic illness' etc.
God bless every inch of you! 🙌🏻🌺🙏🏻
Don't give up.u can visit churches or go to a community bible study..womens is fun.these good groups will let u feel unjudged and welcome with love of Jesus
I’m no longer responsible for changing this person
You never were.
This is the first time I’ve said it….”it’s done”.
The last time I talked to my adopted Narc mother, I caught myself saying, "I'm done.", "I'm done." She had no idea it was her that I was "done" with... it's been over 5 yrs now. I'm so glad I took leave of her toxicity and so much more!
We live in a toxic very lonely world. We stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone, lonely, & unloved without realizing we are already living in this reality.
this is what my daughter tells me all the time.
It’s so true.
So true. He would only be with me in the public or on trips. Inside our home, he avoided me. I was so lonely. This began one week after we were married and continued for 8 years. I thought it was my fault for 5 years. It almost killed me mentally and emotionally.
true. I am close to God and my only friends, only true friends are furry and four-footed ones.
I never ever want my ex-wife back! No way! She was the worst Narcissist person I ever discovered!
After 23 years I am filing for divorce 1 week from now. Thanks to your channel and help from a therapist who is well acquainted in trauma bonded relationships.
I feel you! I thought I was alone about taking 25 years to remove myself from my toxic abusive husband. May God grant us the strength and courage to go through this journey 🙏🙌🌹
I left my marriage of 16 years 8 months ago and have had a hard time total walking away because we have a 13 year old and He continues to manipulate me I am also about to sign divorce papers but am still very sad and angry about it I put so much into our marriage and now my cup is empty😢
Listening to Kris and therapists helped me get through my pain and anxiety. I’m recently divorced and free from the toxicity. We’re both Christian. He would throw Bible verses at me and shame me for leaving although he knew my health was declining due to stress from his ugly treatment towards me. Listening to Kris helped me to heal..all glory to God.
I take full accountability for my divorce. We have no children together. I drove by myself across the US back to my hometown and blocked all communication from him.
Wow i can relate. I'm 23 years and finally filing for Divorce as well. She just won't change. Got older amd meaner and more toxic. Ungrateful and argumentative for everything. Has no idea I'm finish. Can't see i stop the flow a long time ago. Too arrogant.
35 yr marriage. Cheating and lying the whole time. 3 kids grown and some grand kids. She won't give up control of finances of the business. I feel to old to start over. I'm 57.
I wasted my years with my husband before I even knew what the word narc meant 😢
Same 30 plus years and started investigating it why he repeated actions over and over last November and he's covert narcissist now I'm trying to make a plan to get out
Same 🙏🙏🙏
Same 😮💨🙏🙏🙏
same here🤮
Same
Only God can change these people. It takes beyond fasting and prayer. It takes God Himself
I'm tired of being easily manipulated by selfish people
Pray for more decernmemt I have and thank God , these people come to try to take and destroy you by lies and manipulation trauma drama the list continues, you shall know them by their fruit too , you got to understand that it was. Test too or then in your life for a season of the reason , you don't have to put up with not being treated right or disrespected from anyone
Most often we get in relationships that God never wanted us to enter into, then we ask God to bless and fix a mess we created and He warned us against! So we must always seek discernment in our decisions when seeking partners, friends and jobs! 🙏🏽
I clicked on this video by accident!
Currently fasting and preparing for separation next month.
While fasting, I did feel like God was revealing my partner in more ways! Since the fast started they have been ignoring me and we're in the same house! I have no idea why!
Wow! Again, God has affirmed it!
Go and do not look back!
Same with me going on 3 months of him ignoring me like I don’t exist in the same house. I think this is God giving us a way out. I filed for divorce after 17 years. God will restore our wasted years !❤️
I have mentally let go my spouse. Even though he is in the home. No more praying for his protection, his deliverane. I pray for his humility and brokenness that he may repent and come to Christ. I have freed myself of guiding him so he will " See the light" It was never my position to begin with.
I focus on God, becoming closer to him.
He is left to his sin.
Myself too . Just started
I'm getting there
I’m a slow learner & deceived 30 yr marriage. Adored me used me drained me cheated nonstop & arranged most all assets to keep for himself in his dishonesty… cutting my losses & running. Did I lose the beautiful destiny God had for me??? I’ve been swallowed up in a sink hole of darkness. At 68 do I let go of what he financially stole from me? Yes bc Heaven & being free from his darkness Is a win win. I was scared & thought if I prayed harder for him- yes NO Repentance!!!! Time to RUN!!!!!
Prayers please for clear road lit by God
How can you afford it? I feel stuck.
I did it for 39 years. Grew up Catholic and divorce was a no no. My mother did it all her life. It's sickening I wished that something like this would have been available way back in 1977
He was bad from the beginning but I guess I had no self-esteem from the life I grew up in watching my mom neglected and abused. I went for the very same thing. And I stayed in it for way too long and for too many wrong reasons.. hey cornered me in the marriage with two children when I threatened to leave after a year. And then he let them go and get into so much it was so much heartache pain and suffering over the years and then of course a grandson came along that they were giving away like a dog. I couldn't let that happen so I fought for him and won raise him for 6 years. I was threatened I couldn't come to his graduation or many sporting events. Him he turned my two daughters that he didn't even want against me. I truly believe they tried to put me away and make me have a nervous breakdown. But God himself spoke and said it's time to go my grandson was bigger now and I didn't need to take any more suffering caused by him or them. He just passed away February 6th. And they got all his money. All the money I saved all those years for our retirement. I wished that this all would have happened many many years ago. I've suffered greatly emotionally mentally and in the end physically. The Catholic church and my mom were wrong in stating that you stay to who you are married to. I had no one to help me then and I have no one to help me now only God. But God is the best. He is my best friend my comforter my therapist My healer my everything. And even though it was my whole life I am glad that I found out before I died. That even family that you loved and did everything for will stab you in the back for selfishness and hate. I pray from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I thank God for the goodness he has given me in this totally chaotic craziness. Even I was caught in the web thinking that I was doing the right thing staying. But I was staying for all the wrong reasons. Thought that they loved me. Thought that they could never hurt me or that they never would. It's a sad world when your own family betrays you.God help us all. I only wish I would have known about narcissism and that there would have been programs like this back in the day😢❤
@@user-qs2yx7gm8i I'm sorry for what you went through😢
I am no longer responsible for changing that person. I can only change myself.
I tried my whole life to tolerate my father’s toxicity and to show him the love of God. I DID walk away and I paid the price of leaving all financial benefits and being misunderstood by the family. It took every ounce of courage but no regrets.
Thanks very much for this comment, I'm going through what you went through and you just gave me the courage to walk away.
I have to di this too..but all toxic whole family everyone bezrayed me
Peace is priceless, a gift money cannot buy.
I'd rather deal with the fallout of leaving than continuing to deal with the narc.
Yes… me too, there comes a time when enough’s enough.
I am no longer responsible for changing this person. It’s done.
I packed me and the kids up while he was at work in November. I have had a great peace for 5 months. Not strong enough to file for divorce yet but it’s coming. I’m learning boundaries now but we still have to coparent. Pray for me please. IT IS DONE 😊
It's never good to stay in an abusive relationship. Run away fast and never look back. He used our religion as spiritual abuse. He would use God as an excuse. A horrible person.
God will take care of the rest he always does .
My divorce is finalized three weeks ago and I keep finding out more and more about my now EX husband. I no God protected me I have no doubt that God shielded me. I just can't stop thinking about him and why he came into my life acting so holy and churchy a deacon in church only to dog me cheating stealing Abandoned me .I want to heal stop being mad at him .I took my valves truly! Jesus heal me to move on Iam 😫 tired
I always became afraid of getting out, feeling like I will be the looser for 18 years but I'm still trying.please people pray for me.
There are people who will not respect your boundaries and they keep crossing them, time to leave
I wish you could do a video on how the children are affected and what you can do to help your children. My husband passed away when my son turned 11 yrs old and I have been battling way worse behavior in my son because of what he learned from his dad. Please pray for us.
I am on a separation and am dealing with learned behaviors in my kids. It's awful. Let me know if you found any videos about this topic, please. Prayers for you and your son.
My 50-year-old son is a narcissist of the worst kind and lives with me doesn't have a job, no place to live and it's hard for me to have him evicted. This is absolute hell.
Wonder if his mum overindulged him or was not emotionally available
Goodness that has to be tough. Pray in tongues, that does miracles for me.
Thank you Kris! Your videos are SOOO helpful. I’ve been married to a covert narcissist for 26 long years. I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. I literally would have stayed stuck in hell without your help. I can’t thank you enough! ❤️❤️❤️
I recently removed all responsibility for my wifes quarrelsome, narcissistic, crappy behavior and give her to God to contend with. Three decades is too long to live with someone void of healthy coping akills and incapable of being on fire for the word of God and showing this in her marriage. I pray for her salvation and i pray she gets to know God how i know him but im done as it stands....
It’s so true…believed I had no choice but to stay in toxic relationship to not disobey God.
😢
Conditioning at its finest , to be condemned is not From the Lord Jesus Christ.its in the bible
@theintactsoundspr, You have the wrong belief, if that’s what you believed. I know, because, I use to have that “False” belief also 😢, 16 years in an abusive relationship! I had to finally leave, to literally save my life and my sanity! It has been over a year now, I am a Christian and a believer, have been most of my life. I Gave up my Toxic partner and relationship to God, just laid it down at the cross, and walked away! Had to basically start my life all over again, financially, at the age of 64 yrs old 😮, but, with prayers and my Faithful God 🙏 , along with my loving Family, who took me in, I am so grateful and finally at peace! 😊. I quickly learned, that staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care, and has No Love or Respect for you, is NOT honoring God, and God does Not want us to live like that, Ever! Honor God, and do yourself a great favor, if you haven’t already, LEAVE! GO! Get out and away from this person/environment as quickly as possible ! You’ll Thank God, and you’ll be glad you did! I am praying for You 🙏 and all the other souls, unfortunate enough to have experienced a Narc’s destruction, as we have! And, Thank GOD for this platform and these videos ! 💞
17 years in a legalistic church. I stayed because I wanted to serve God and I felt if I left, I was leaving the church where I thought God wanted me to be. I have enough trauma and disappointment now to last me for years. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am of myself for allowing it
Forgive yourself.. you are already forgiven... We didn't know these demons were using those we loved and they are demons. JEZEBEL is the narcissist demon ...
I just got back from the hospital after I tried to take my life from my toxic narcissistic wife,I've prayed for God's forgiveness, but I wish she would find the way ,miss the person she was .
Going through this rn. I'm praying God shows me what to do & gives me wisdom. We have 2 beautiful babies and it makes it so much harder. Please pray for me.❤
🙏🙏🙏
Please pray for me. I am scared. I am a mother of triplets and have one that is special needs...I have no family or support im an only child and my mother is deceased. His family is extremely toxic and they are all alcoholics and I have no support.I want to literally pack my van and move us away. Please pray for me and my babies 🙏😢
No progress after 20yrs of Narcissistic Abuse,it literally got worst😫😫No contact was so peaceful it was unbelievable,I was so use to disfunction didn’t know peace felt so good.I’m thankful I found your channel and others to help me through this difficult time🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I just booted out my ex user abuser alcoholic narc and I feel great! Sooooo peaceful and relaxing I love it! I'm never looking back!
It’s done I’m no longer responsible for changing that person.
It's not your job
often they are brought into our lives as a blessing. They taught me self love and boundaries...bless your enemies...they change you
Great point.❤
My last relationship I learned alot. It made me better. I never knew how selfish and toxic I was in the relationship until the relationship was over. I saw my faults and never want to repeat them.
Toxic people are like vampires and the bite puts poison in your system that has to be cleansed and healed. It's really not bringing out the worst in you it's exposing you to the worst in them and draining your best. This is great information and I've run into the endure at all costs perspective and in my heart I know that God is love not torture.
Abusers are cunning, insidiously clever, and bold. They abuse over a long period of time. They are skilled at exploiting your virtues, blame shifting and distracting from the real issue (their acts of violation). If you are trauma bonded you are under an evil spell. Be strong. Put your foot down. Love yourself, leave. You were ok before them. You will be ok. 🤍
Right on comment. Thank you. I am going through the final trial of my divorce. Trauma is one word. But there are so many more descriptive words you have shared.
WOW, those are the words Holy Spirit has been saying to me Let them go.
But you have added to my knowledge. Turn them over to their desire so repentance will come. So so good.
HUGE amount of gaslighting!!! But get this...after the extreme onslaught of bullying, shaming, alienation from my sons, I fought tooth and nail to get away from the ex. He had the church, friends, and family calling and coming by to let me know I needed to obey God and stay with him. I was in danger of hell if I didn't. I cut them all off. Most of these people ended up leaving their spouses for others, and divorcing, including the pastor! I will not subject myself to other people's demands anymore, nor do I think that they are special or above me just because they have a function and/or title that would have caused me to listen and do what they told me I should do. They are mere humans just like me.
The church protects these men-pasors,married men and women also.
My mother is a covert narcisst😊
It’s so hard when it’s your adult abusive child.
I have actually been physically sick being with this man who I believe may be possessed.
Is this the reason it has been difficult to walk away.
I really do need to take a step back. I have noticed I am getting critical towards him. This has been after hours of trying to have a conversation and no response.
Yes, he will not ever say anything about being wrong about anything. I have found myself apologizing before almost every conversation.
I have been sad and confused. Please pray for me & needing a release 😥
You can do it , I believe it
Your response should be, " Excuse me, but I'm not apologizing for anything that I haven't done. "
If there has been relentless abuse and betrayals, this will affect your mental and physical health. This can destroy the quality of your life. These health issues can lead to disabilities. Leave before this happens. You have to love yourself first, before you end up six feet under. God wants us to live a life where we thrive. If you are not thriving, go somewhere where you can.
Let God love and correct them accordingly. Eventually they will be treated as they have treated others. They will loose things that are important to them. Some of them will cease to exist.
WOW!! THANK YOU for this. “ there is a difference between troubled souls and toxic influences “. This has been the most difficult subject of my walk with the Lord. We are taught to love and forgive every one yet seldom taught to discern and walk away from toxic people. Jesus stepped away from some. This is so helpful and I thank you for clarifying the differences. We can always keep people in prayer but we don’t have to be around them. Boundaries! To protect your heart!
Strangest feeling is being sad and missing them but underneath all the emotions having peace I did the right thing.
I’m no longer required to change this person. The devil hates us
My mother and all my siblings have continued to try to destroy my self love. Please lord help❤❤❤
Ur not alone ❤️
I can't change my mom and she's impossible to get along with. Always starting strife and discord in the family. Lies like the Devil. I'm walking 🚶♂️
Thank you so much Lord have Kris speaking to me. Thank you removed me out of my 16 years abusive and toxic marriage. Yes I am not responsible for my Covert Nac. Husband's bad behavior. I am done. I am moving on to my new life . Keeping my eyes and Joyce to my Jesus. Please praying God will stopping husband fights with my house.
Thank you so much Kris for your Biblical teaching. God bless you and your teaching.
Nahum chapter 1 verses 11thru 15.Walking papers!was on my knees begging for deliverance.Cold opened my bible and here is my promise,"the wicked shall no more pass through thee;he is uterlly cut off."Thanku Father for your deliverance!Even though I didnt see it happen immediatly ,I chose to believe I had it in my hand already
I wish I had this understanding decades ago. After 55 years of abuse from the family of origin and 25 years of an abusive toxic marriage (the ex filed), I realized it was never my responsibility to change them nor put up with their abuse
I only wish I had someone like this counselor 30 years ago. It could have saved my life of misery with the man I married!!
I took a stand with my sisters, they to me feel very unsafe, they say love you love you and when you walk away, have no problem trash talking you! I do not feel safe being around them and decided to draw back! Nothing changed.. they just keep doing the same, and don’t seem to care! Been here before, but left things slide.. now not sure where to go
I’ve let them go, but they won’t. Now what? Between the torments, stalking, vindictiveness’s and getting an order of protection that was just laughed at, I don’t know where to go. I ask God to help me but nothing changes. I’m exhausted.
God may want you to take some action so that he can support you. 🙏
If he breaks the order, get him arrested and see if he is stiĺ lauguing. Thats what the order is for.
I went through the same thing, including parental alienation. It was miserable. He even had my vehicle stolen from my office and immediately sold it for $10 to my son and his wife. I was left having to walk everywhere. It made it easier for him to stalk me. I had a good friend that helped me, and a deputy that lived below me, and he would go places with me to make sure I wasn't caught out. The guy is a total nut job. We were required by the court to have psych evaluations. The psychiatrist/psychologist, whatever he was, told me that I needed to get away from the ex as soon as possible. He was extremely bad for me. It was rough, but if you can get supportive people to give you a hand, you can do it. I also had an order of protection. Make sure to document everything.
Yes, my narcissistic mother uses the Christian gas lighting all the time. She told me a couple of days ago, “God’s word says to honor your father and mother PERIOD. It doesn’t say but don’t honor them if they’ve abused you.” Then she let me know that my son will be handling her estate. I hit her with a- Okay👍. Thank you ❤️
My brother tried that with me about my abusive mom....I replied "The Bible also says Parents do not exasperate your children"
You can honor them. But once you are an adult, you obey God first. Do you obey your parents once you are an adult? Obey God. You can listen to parents' suggestions if they are godly-- if not, consider God's will for your life. Don't take abuse. It will be devastating.
The Bible also says don’t provoke your children to anger.
Step back has given me back my life. Your video is so timely. I had bad influences because I didn't want to lose the history instead of how drained I was in the present. I let go and embraced my precious time.
God came to me in dream and told me she has to go because she's evil, she's an envious narcissist
I understand, dealing with the same
I can't thank you enough for your platform. This is a God incident . To see this from a biblical prospective is such a gift
Sometimes no contact or a very limited contact is not because of strong emotion, but because you’ve walked the road, stewed and worked out stuff inside of yourself, forgave and let go and moved on, and there is nothing really to say to the other person, nothing really that connect two of you anymore, expectation are gone and interest is gone, and even if that other person is trying to be nice etc - it’s no use, you’ve moved on, I believe from experience - it’s ok. Trust and closeness is not a free gift, sometimes loving and honoring other person is to forgive , not to hold grudge and move on, God doesn’t expect you to force yourself back into relationship anymore if you aren’t feeling anything or still feeling uneasy around that person.
The serenity prayer clearly delineates that I need to accept what I cannot change, i.e., anyone else; that I need courage to change what I can change, i.e. myself; and wisdom for seeing which is which.
You are so right that once we get away we can see more clearly just how bad it was, far worse than we realized. Even if the only thing wrong is that these people are arrogant and self-righteous judging everything in those they don't like when they don't know the details and when the person they judge is not sinning but just different from them. Those who tell the truth of God's Word are hated by those who think they are special and deserve heaven when all the fruit of the Spirit is missing in them. The flesh is aroused to defend ourselves or fight with those who provoke, it is best to learn silence when around them and avoid them whenever possible.
I have two very small children with a narc husband. I am extremely stuck for multiple reasons. And he knows that. I dont know why Heavenly Father has me in this situation. Esp after I was raised by a severe narc and finally got away from the abuse. I cant believe this is my life and the life he has for innocent children. For all of you who are in the same situation- i pray for you and your children every day. I wont ever understand why, but hang in there. Hopefully it all ends soon.
You are so correct about lowering standards when you get older. I did and it is going to take a long time to recover and get out!
It's a healing process and it will get better with time , be blessed
Absolutely, all things are possible with God
Amen 🙏🏼
It is done!
I recently went no contact with two, Christian friends who were narcissists,(one a covert and one a grandiose). They were who I called “the bopsy twins”, who couldn’t be separated. They would triangulate me at times. There were so many things they did, for so many years, that I couldn’t possibly tell them both, all the things that had gone wrong, or how many instances where I felt talked down to, or treated less important than, and taken advantage of. There was no way to list the many ways to them. Yes, things were mounting for years. Both could be bullying, manipulative, lying, condescending. How could I tell them in a kind way, that they were toxic? Was it an emotion for me to walk away? I don’t believe so. These two women elevated and valued their opinions above the relationship. You can Biblically go and tell the women where things went wrong, but the bottom line is, I got healed of codependency and learned to recognize narcissism over the past three years. I just could stay in these two toxic friendships any longer. I don’t think that a “feeling” decision on my part. I’ve been away from both of them for almost six weeks. I have no regret. No missing them. I was codependent.
I so needed to hear this message today, thank you Lord Jesus Christ for loving me. It’s been a tough couple of months but I know with God’s love I will get through! Thank you Kris, God bless you x 🙏🏽✝️🕊
Fantastic message! so often; we as believers, are 'guilted by the world' into ENDURING abuse and manipulation by others... We NEED to HEAR this Godly truth truth! Narcissists are frighteningly adept in their psychological manipulation to cause believers to remain in a clearly abusive relationship (in my case 37 YEARS) GREAT MESSAGE!!💓
You said something that gave me the answer I was looking for. The biggest problem I've had with my covert narcissist, we've been separated most of our 26 year marriage. I know God is used him to work on me. I keep thinking that I'm supposed to get back together with him. But you said there would be no confusion. That I would have complete peace. I know how to be led by piece in every area of my life except him. That was the answer I was looking for there will be no confusion. Because that is all my relationship with him is is confusing!
Oh hallelujah thank you thank you!
I’m forced into moving in with my toxic elderly mother. This is the hardest thing for me. I feel like I’m Cinderella moving back into the wicked step mom house. God has a plan. I need discernment, strong boundaries and strength. My family is toxic. God has me here. It’s been confirmed over and over. I’ve prayed for restoration for years. I’ve gone through counseling. I need to continue it.
I’m in the same situation
I had to do the same thing. She ‘welcomed’ me during covid but the back and forth gaslighting and accusations was almost unbearable. I started to employ a gentle, ‘come along’ type of training, a sort of manipulative tactic of my own. I also stopped reacting. Our neighbor lectured her occasionally on the importance of respecting the daughter who was helping with many things. The situation has improved, but I recognize that rather than being a full fledged evil narcissist, my mom simply has some narc traits and habits. I recognize real narcs cant be changed. Perhaps some aspect can be manipulated and handled.
I'm in a similar situation. Doctor Ramani's videos on RUclips are my daily dose of sanity.
I was in a similar situation, and I realized my mother was trying to split me from my husband and my kids. She wanted them to not exist. This was so different from my mother-in-law who was happy living with her daughter (my sister-in-law), and even with dementia, was so loving. Called my son on his birthday, just months before her death. :( My mother.... has financially manipulated me all my life. She's accused people of stealing, and now that she has dementia, I've learned that she was the one who stole. And even with dementia, she still managed to manipulate me, other family members, and cause all sorts of trouble. Refusing to give anyone a POA, causing herself financial harm by not paying bills, closing my father and her account, and moving money to an account in her name only. Then forgetting that her Social Security and my dad's went to the old account. She also wrote bounced checks..... And refuses to acknowledge that she's having dementia problems. My mother-in-law was NOT like this. It's the long-standing history of lying, stealing, deceit, envy, manipulation, causing people to suffer financially...... I cannot tolerate. She is trying to drain me financially so that I cannot be independent or even take care of my own kids. This kind of selfishness has been present all my life. When I refused to give her control over my bank account, she refused to let me talk to my dying dad. Once he died on January 27, 2024, I went no contact. My kids need me and are innocent of her actions, and as Kris says..... by enabling the toxic person (my mother), I make innocent people suffer -- my children, my husband, and everyone at the job I had to leave to be my mother's unpaid maid. I love my kids, and I will not make them suffer for someone (even a relative) who has no empathy or love for them. Matthew 19:29-30.
You don't have to do something you don't want to do either
Yes, you are quite correct. I have been surviving in a 24-year marriage. Every time, I talk to my Pastor about it he says that I have to just dig my heels in and endure. He tells me to pray to God to strengthen me. He tells me that I have entered into a covenant and I must run my course because God does not take covenants lightly. I just find that the way my husband treats me just keeps me repenting because I have developed such a hardened heart due to everything I have encountered with him, so much so that I do not hear from the Holy Spirit anymore.
I can relate. I've said the same about my pastor, and the more I get emotionally abused, the harder it is to hear comfort from God. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm trusting that God has a plan for my rescue.
I have quit attending church for about 2 years. I felt that the Lord was calling me aside to heal & get alone with Him. It’s not been easy, but now that I am close to the end of the tunnel, it’s been totally worth it to heal. I could write a book about all I have been through. The whole thing in a nutshell is that the church I went to is full of toxic, hurting, imperfect Christians. I have forgiven them & I truly love them and care about them. I pray for them, but keep them at a distance. You don’t keep touching a hot stove and burning your hand because other people say you should.
Follow your heart, get alone with God. He will speak to you. You don’t have to be perfect. He loves you no matter what. Human love cannot compare. Get your time alone with Him and He will lead you. And despite what some folks scream from the pulpit, sometimes God uses meds and therapists to help us.
Every person is different. We all need different things. Don’t let anyone’s judgements determine how you live your life. That should be between you and God.
In other words it is like being told that being treated like that for years is okay , it's not ,
The world religion law conditions everyone to believe they are condmend by Abba God im heaven that is a total lie he convicts the holy Spirit and God so it's in the Bible , and also to be worried about what other people think too its the pharssii spirit and accusation spirit it's cult like so much
It's about having a relationship with Jesus Christ not what church u go to ,
If you ever get a divorce know that it's okay and you are not alone
Wasn't part of the marriage covenant that you were both supposed to love, cherish and honor one another? Your husband already broke the covenant thousands of times over. Go get your divorce. You've earned it.
I am no longer responsible for changing this person. It is done. And yes Amen Lord
I am a pastor and a missionary to Africa, and it’s hard as it is to walk away I’m walking away from my toxic mother that has hurt me, and My children, I found out things that I knew nothing about, and I have to walk away to feel peace in my life even though it’s difficult, I’ve had so many leaders in the church to tell me that I’m doing right by walking away and that’s what I’m doing but at this time I’m just praying for peace be steel over me and my children. Thank you for sharing. This is much needed for me and my family. I’m sharing it with my children. Thank you so very much. God bless you woman of God amen.
Sondra, I too am a missionary. I had to walk away from my mom. And siblings. It was all too much. It was constant hurt and constant agony. I tried for decades, but in the end they did something that broke me. God said, you're done. No contact. You're done. They didn't love me. They only used me as a scapegoat. I had no worth other than that to them. Hard pill to swallow but I did.
The triangulation that occurred has left such a bruise upon my heart and soul that God has blessed me with others and freedom to not tolerate narcissistic people and discern thereof. ( the story is absolutely unbelievable but thanks be to God for his mercies are never ending )
I’m 4 minutes in and am already wowed by how dynamite this is💥
Thank you for helping others understand and hear the truth. A true marriage needs to be 3 strands Christ, him and her. God Bless!!
We have to teach young woman this before they get into dysfunctional relationships! Self-respect, their incredible value and worth, becoming healthy in themselves and not needing another person to make them complete, and how to set boundaries and enforce them!
My mother is a narcissist, I’ve been told this, but did not want to receive, I have sent this video to my daughter, that needs so much prayer from the heart from my mother, her grandmother, Thank you again for sharing. God bless you woman of God. Amen.
I've been listening to you and have found healing for myself and tried so hard to get my daughter, who is just becoming me 2.0, trying to get her to see what we all see! recently he started telling her that "God doesn't want him to be with her", and now we know he's been cheating. selling dope , hanging out with "bad" people. I just keep praying.... begging the Lord at times. and asking him to protect her.
thank you for all you do!!
A lot of churches are under the law and no grace! Care for your soul!
Thank you so much. I have a toxic friend and she is a user with everyone. She think she is privileged and expects everyone to pay for her at restaurants. If you shop with her, she expects others to by things for her. I am pulling away.
It's a lot easier for a friend than family members or spouse
We have to be forgiving, even when we walk away. I totally agree. Amen.
Kris, I believed this for YEARS. And it kept me in a toxic wheel of forgiving and getting abused again. It was so destructive. I hoped against hope and yes, I wanted to be a shining light. They did not change. I finally left 30 years later.
You are exceptional telling gems that need to be heard and internalized.Lobe it I needed this.
For me the relationship I need to let go is With a friend. We used to do everything together, but looking back I was the one who did all the giving, and she was the one who did all the taking. I never used to cuss much until my friendship with her, she has a very dysfunctional relationship with her husband and her kids and her parents and I now realize also with friends. I have invited her to do several things with me in the last few months as she lost one of her sons a little over a year ago, but somehow she always has something else to do or it doesn’t work out.I realize now that God is not allowing it to happen because he wants me to let it go. Thank you so much for this message!
God is a God of peace and restoration!
*"The Gospel ACCORDING TO Matthew", chapter 10, Quote; 34. Think NOT that I am come to send PEACE on earth: I came NOT to send PEACE, but a SWORD... 35. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law... 36. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household... 37. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me... 38. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me... 39. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. End Quote.*
Letting go is so hard and healing too ❤
Praise, God, praise God. I really want to thank you Kris For your loving heart and I really appreciate what you are saying. And bringing such clarity to this difficult situation, God bless you.!!!
Kris Reece, You're so talented! I had to hit the like button!
I needed this today, some people just never stop, you think things are better and they never are.