Introverted in a High-Control World: The Struggles of a Jehovah's Witness
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2024
- Inspirational Quote of the episode:
"Screw you guys, I'm going home." - Eric Cartman
In this episode of DiffiCULT Childhood, we dive into the unique challenges faced by introverted Jehovah's Witnesses.
From the overwhelming demands of attending large conventions to the exhausting door-to-door preaching, we explore how the high-control environment makes it difficult for introverts to navigate their faith.
As a side note: if it's God's organization why are they oblivious to the needs of neurodivergent people? Or do they just not care?
Plus, we discuss the pressure to socialize exclusively and excessively within the congregation, form friendships with people who don't naturally align with our personalities, and the all-encompassing control the cult exerts over every aspect of their lives.
Join us as we uncover the emotional toll and personal struggles introverted JWs face, shedding light on a rarely discussed aspect of life within the Jehovah's Witness community.
00:00 Our Favorite Jehovah’s Witness
01:53 The Future is Bright
03:13 Unique to ex-JW and ex-Mormon Podcasts.
06:22 Five things that make being an introvert JW awful.
06:55 #5 - JW’s Must ALWAYS be doing SOMETHING
11:10 #4 - Finding the Secret Quiet Place at the Conventions. Casino Count Room!
17:38 #3 - Deep Friendship in JW Discouraged. Here’s Why.
26:27 #2 - Always Participate.
33:00 Falon Makes Fun of Jason 1987
33:40 #1 - Preaching as kids
37:25 How is being JW different from being in an abusive relationship?
41:35 “Going in the Ministry Brings Me Joy”
46:07 Recharge in the way that works for you.
Jehovah's Witness, Introverted JW, High-control religion conventions, Door-to-door preaching, Introversion in religion JW social pressure, Cult control, Congregation socializing, Emotional toll of high-control religion, Struggles of introverted JWs, Ex-Jehovah's Witness experiences, Cult life challenges, Religion and introverts, High-control cults What did Jehovah Witness refuting Jehovah's Witnesses growing up Jehovah's Witnesses where did Jehovah's Witnesses originate exjw pioneer ministerial servant
![Gunna - one of wun [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/w_JtBYqMgk8/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm very introverted and hated every aspect about being a JW. I don't know how I got caught up in it for 16 years. I faded 18 years ago. Thank you Falon and Jason.
I am shy and introverted. When I was a JW I was called spiritually weak. The so called Elders would tell sisters who asked about me to leave me alone because I wasn’t doing anything with the so called truth. I never gave a comment at a JW meeting. I rarely went out in field service. Perhaps 12 or 13 times in a 20 year period. Finally I stopped attending their meetings and woke up to this scam.
It's great to see more & more former members exposing watchtower.
As a teacher, I saw the struggle of parents with a child with autism or some sort of social anxiety...
Marked as 'spiritually weak', they frequently were depressed...😢
Interesting! I’m 41 and autistic but had a late diagnosis. I was always outcast and bullied by family because of my struggles. 😅
My brother is now 50 and dfed and has assbuggers (autistic) and he’s been dfed twice in his life when I was a kid and now that I’m almost 40 we are both shunned from our family and friends we use to call and it’s very sad that my brother is talking about suicidal thoughts lately and I’m trying to be there for him no matter what happens in life. His daughter is 18 years old and works at our local sobeys and my brother goes shopping there only to see her and she’s living with my parents since last year when she got baptized and it’s so f ing sad!! Thanks all of you for exposing the truths about this life when others on the grid are lying to make more money and more people and destroy family’s if one person doesn’t understand something like me u are still shunned but I’m not dfed cause I told the elders to F off! I asked them if they want to talk to me about me and my family with 6 kids living a good clean life? Well then I can invite them to ask them about there marriage and family as well and I haven’t heard back yet that was 5 years ago lol most conditional love I’ve ever seen!! There is nothing unconditional about jws they say are but only if your in and fully in! At least now men can wear beards lol what a mess by’s honestly. I use to know mark Sanderson personally when I was younger and he seemed like a decent guy but I can see how money and mood and the thought of being on the top pleaded him over his own faith! So so sad for these family’s going through so much in this life because of what a few men say not god or Jesus
I love your show so much.
I was a young person in the late 70's early 80's. I never heard of a person being introverted. I didn't know what was wrong with me and why everything drained me. There were so many days all I could think of was getting home crawling into my closet and hiding just to decompress. I never did that and I thought I was crazy for even having that thought. Now I know being around people just drained me so much. Especially being around crazy.
I have so many stories. One time I was out in service with this extremely zealous brother, he was in his late 30's I was in my late teens. He spent the whole time just berating me because I was not speaking well enough at the doors, I was " killing people" because I was not prepared enough. Well I was working at Wendy's hamburgers at the time part time trying to pioneer. I was so stressed out that day that after a while of him doing that to me, a lady came to the door, and I just spit out Wendy's old-fashioned hamburgers can I help you please.
I thought he was going to have a stroke and I was mortified, I was embarrassed for years after that being so stupid, now I realize I was just very human 😢
In our area and I think it is blanket policy because even the latest assembly has it with the wives always sitting in the back and the men always sit in the front of the car. I hated it. First it was my car, I paid for it before we were married. My husband was an elder and pioneer and worked part-time. Anyway I honestly didn't know that was a huge thing until after we were married. I always had to sit in the middle of the backseat as the sister's were heavier then I was, and they always pointed out it was easier for me to sit in the middle than them. I hated it. I didn't have air conditioning and we always worked in the country long drives with all these people that hated me and I sat in the middle. Oh the good times 😩
Then there were the true mentally ill. Like the brother that heard voices while we were at the door. That was actually scary. Or the brother who refused to bath, I honestly thought I was going to throw up. Not to mention you never knew who was going to open the door and what they were going to say. It never was as smooth as the service meeting portrayed. I hate it the trinity, I could never refute it no matter how much I prepared. I was always slammed and shamed for how horrible I was.
One time a pioneer sister my age asked me in front of all the other pioneers there were 10 of us what good did I do at the door. I just froze like a deer in the headlights and she wouldn't stop, she just kept at me demanding an answer and all the other pioneers just stared at me, no one came to my defense. I finally muttered that I didn't do any good. She said yes and why did I even try then?
Oh the good times. I still shake remembering that day.
Then being a elder and the only elder my husband was gone all the time, we didn't have anniversaries, date nights, anything. All meetings I sat by myself and assemblies conventions whatever they're called I was as always by myself.
I was shamed so much from the way I walked, to the way I talked to who I was as a person.
I just love now knowing I was not alone.
.
Alone no more! Join our odd-ball friend group! We have plenty of room! 😘 -Falon
❤
These never ending stories show me how the talks now make me spew.
In June 1994 An elder physically thumped me on the back of the head with a rolled up Watchtower magazine. He whispered, "Why don't you comment anymore? You need to make comments! Don't you want your mother to find you after her resurrection?" I was 30 years old. My faithful generous JW mother had died the week before. That was the day I was done with Watchtower’s control over me. There had been cumulative small cracks in my JW beliefs, but that damning "thump" broke the dam and I never returned to a kingdom hall as a JW.
BTW my sister, who was a JW left too!
Men can’t stand up to the preached promises when age prevents our participation.
Good for you! - Jason
I just stumbled onto you guys last week and am loving your content. It’s a balanced approach, which I appreciate. I’m just at the very start of my journey and I’m trying to soak up all I can. Thank you 😊
Thanks for your kind words! And congratulations on starting your journey! It’s completely worth it.
If you have any questions or topics you would like us to cover, please let us know! - Jason
It takes away a persons whole childhood.
My grandson is 19 and living with me. He does not know how to make friends and is very lonely. He has gone to several therapists and psychiatrist.
I agree! I love that there can be an atheist and a Christian working together, having differences of opinions, not getting butt hurt about those differences, still present information intelligently and still be actual friends that obviously love each other.
Super balanced. Super fun. Super informative. I love these two.
@@ThatWomanJezebel And we love you!
I remember 5-day district assemblies back in the 1970s
Holy smokes, just put me out of my misery 😳
Keep up the good work exposing this cult for what it is!
I agree I hated service parts the whole thing 😂 Great video ❤
As an asocial introvert, this would feel like Hell to me.
@theconqueringram5295 For many, it sorta was 🫣
Wow....I had no idea that being a JW was that stressful for some people. I'm fairly extroverted so it was very confusing to hear you guys talk about hating the crowds at conventions. Honestly the conventions were my favorite thing about being JW.
Still horribly boring and tedious. But at least I got to be anonymous in a crowd. And I very often got to make new friends for the weekend when I was there.
But even as an extrovert there was nothing fun about preaching or giving talks.
I use 'gatherings' as a place to get out of my home, that's it.Once, somebody tries to talk to me, I tune out.Not to be mean but, it’s the same conversations just different person &/or setting.
Assemblies/conventions just bore me to sleep.And, field service, HATED it, still do.(Coming from a introverted PIMO)
Just found this channel. Makes me so happy to see people wake up!
One day, no questions, repetition, no true friends, stops making sense.
Anyone else have PTSD around Tuesday and Thursday evenings?
Hebrews 1:5-14 NKJV
KJV
NIV
NLT
NKJV
ESV
For to which of the angels did He ever say: “You are My Son, Today I have begotten You”? And again: “I will be to Him a Father, And He shall be to Me a Son”? But when He again brings the firstborn into the world, He says: “Let all the angels of God worship Him.” And of the angels He says: “Who makes His angels spirits And His ministers a flame of fire.” But to the Son He says: “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.” And: “You, LORD, in the beginning laid the foundation of the earth, And the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; And they will all grow old like a garment; Like a cloak You will fold them up, And they will be changed. But You are the same, And Your years will not fail.” But to which of the angels has He ever said: “Sit at My right hand, Till I make Your enemies Your footstool”? Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?
@@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044 WTFu…cult does that have to with Tuesdays & Thursdays?
6:16 this is why I created an anonymous RUclips channel with a ridiculous email, they’re still the risk of being caught, but it’s smaller, I appreciate you acknowledging that because not everyone does
@@Anonymousviewer502 We got you 502! 😉 -Falon
I’ve forgotten about the ding if you went over.
Being on stage pretending to have a Bible study was a lot for me. Thank God we never had to face the audience. Every-time we went out in service, I would pray that no one came to the door when it was mine time to talk.
Family study was a nightmare because my father was so windy. If we’re supposed to study for an hr, why has 2hrs past and we’re still on paragraph 1……
The songs that were song were so humdrum.
8:54 I am really happy to find your channel. Been watching your stuff for the past week! So, I recall this lady in my congregation - she came to all the meetings. Never commented. Never went out in service. Wasn't baptized (This was around 2010. I started waking up in 2011 and by 2012 I was done). The elders had told her she could not comment because they "had studied every book with her and she would not get baptized." My very awake baby brother & I saw her at the grocery store. I told him the situation. He looked at me and said "well maybe that works for her." This was the very beginning of the end for me. A light bulb popped on.
Love your channel and I am now following you on IG. These conversations are so transparent and you are showing everyone how we can just BE. Respect each other. Respect our beliefs. And the REALITY that we don't always agree. The exJW community can get toxic and what you're doing is relevant and necessary. Thank you! 🙏🏽❤️
Thank you so much for those kind words. I'm so happy you got out with a sibling! My brother is also awake & I would be lost without him. Glad you're joining us! 🤩 -Falon
Thank you!
I actually had to gear myself up for meetings and as an elders wife felt I had to be social, came home emotionally exhausted each time. On Friday nights I could hardly sleep with anxiety and was actually sick each Saturday morning heading out, as well as trying to encourage my kids! We to leave the oranisation to protect my mental health, never looked back.
Yes! The Friday night dread was so awful! Glad you made it out, happy those feelings are gone. 😘 -Falon
Si mi prendeva l'ansia il sabato mattina ,per il fratello che mi accompagnava ,tutti professori tutti ti dovevano insegnare qualcosa ,anche se io facevo RICERCHE piu di loro ,
I think you can make your subscriptions private on youtube.
One more experience I just remembered.
There was a very prominent elder who gave a talk at the circuit assembly. He started it by saying have you ever woken up on a Saturday morning and thought I would just like to stay in bed I do not want to go out in service. If you have you're only human.
He got in so much trouble for saying that, that he was banned from giving talks for a couple years.
He's now in his late sixties and as strong as ever in the religion or I like to call it the cult.
I love your experience as a sister who said I hate it. After that brother got in so much trouble I was so afraid to speak my mind. 😢 It's all so very crazy.
That question was a regular feature of any talk or demo where guilting a JW for not wanting to go out in service was the goal. I've never heard of a brother being banned from giving talks for asking it, but it just goes to show that FOG (fear, guilt, obligation) is a standard tactic in WT manipulation of JWs.
I'm a COMPLETE EXTROVERT and I ALWAYS despised the ministry and was born and raised in from the very early 70s!!! Didn't wake up until I was 46. It was because I didn't like trying to push beliefs on others. Plus I didn't ever feel comfortable walking onto personal property without permission from the property owner. So even those of us that didn't have trouble talking with ppl generally speaking, often struggled with the ministry in various ways. My husband and daughter are totally introverted and they said the same thing... meetings and service were just EXHAUSTING. Plus my husband was a MS for years (they kept begging him to become an elder and he said no over and over!) and very used within the congregation and had to deal with many people in the congregation at every meeting. He is such a nice person normally, but was miserable on Saturday service, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday meetings. I only got my happy, REAL husband Monday, Wednesday and Friday. 😣 And assemblies and conventions... 😮💨 He was just unbearable! Poor guy! Great video as always Falon and Jason!
Thanks Deanna! And thank you for sharing your experience. Nothing is quite as reinvigorating as NOT being in the cult. ☺️
@@DiffiCULTChildhood exactly! Such a breath of fresh air stepping away and realizing we can just be ourselves with no agenda!!! 😉💗
Maybe I will never understand how parents could subject their children to this all-inclusive cruelty. Don't they have any effing sense? I mean, what kind of people are they? And you know what? At some point, we need to stop saying "the organization" did this and that. No, the parents forced their children to do all these humiiating, self-destroying, stupid things, and why? Because they read a bunch of tripe that wouldn't pass muster except with people who fanatically wanted to believe it, no matter what it did to their children.
@21:30
Only Watchtower could be mad at children for learning history and studying the Bible 😂. That's the best thing I've heard all week and I love it 🎉
JW days were the worst days of my life
Egad! I joined late! Can you please repeat everything I missed?
🤣 thank goodness for rewind 🤭
Don’t feel bad. I overslept and missed the whole thing. - Jason
I can’t find your email address in the description?? I think you said it was there and I’d like to email you . Really enjoying your videos . I’ve recently left WT
Welcome to freedom buddy! You can contact us at exjwchildhood@gmail.com 😁
@@DiffiCULTChildhoodhey thx for the email . Ive contacted you through instagram 👍🏼
Who has ever as a kid gone in door-to-door ministry as a JW and pretended to knock on the door I have 😏🤣🤣🤣until my father who was a Elder caught on to what we were doing I am so happy I'm no longer a part of this religion and I have the no trespassing signs on my property on purpose I don't miss The Uninvited company and that was one of my mother's rules house always had to be OnPoint and clean because you never know what brother and sister might decide to stop by unannounced my rule as an adult is do not stop by my home without calling end of story!😮
Fake bell ring for the win! 😆
I'm sorry, but your teacher played you perfectly. 😂😂😂
Jeff, this teacher was absolutely horrible! I kept coming home smelling like smoke & finally my mom asked why & I told her the teacher smoked in class. Mom literally FLEW to the school & demanded a meeting with the principal. Teacher was reprimanded, & I got the fallout the rest of the school year 🙄 -Falon
@@DiffiCULTChildhood it sounds like that teacher either had full tenure, or she knew where body was buried.
Given the backwoods location of the little school, probably the later 🙃
Most scholars believe that Jesus was born between 6 and 4 BC, and that Jesus' preaching began around AD 27-29. But It has been claimed that Jehovah was the invention of a Spanish monk (Raymundus Martini) in 1270 by inserting (incorrectly) the consonants (obviously this is an error -- the author probably meant "vowels") for the words often transliterated as "Elohim" and "Adonai" in between the four Hebrew letters representing the tetragrammaton of God's Holy Name in Hebrew, which he, as it has been asserted, "translated into 'Jehova' or 'Jehovah'". Such often claim that "Jehovah is a false name" "made up by a Catholic monk". ( So if Jehovah is a false name so are the one who witness for this false hood ) ( NWT ) Romans 10:13 For “everyone who calls on the name of Jehovah will be saved.” ( So who ever calls on this false name will be saved )
Hebrews 1:5-14 NKJV
KJV
NIV
NLT
NKJV
ESV
For to which of the angels did He ever say: “You are My Son, Today I have begotten You”? And again: “I will be to Him a Father, And He shall be to Me a Son”? But when He again brings the firstborn into the world, He says: “Let all the angels of God worship Him.” And of the angels He says: “Who makes His angels spirits And His ministers a flame of fire.” But to the Son He says: “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.” And: “You, LORD, in the beginning laid the foundation of the earth, And the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; And they will all grow old like a garment; Like a cloak You will fold them up, And they will be changed. But You are the same, And Your years will not fail.” But to which of the angels has He ever said: “Sit at My right hand, Till I make Your enemies Your footstool”? Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?
you should of say yah me too
Really wondering, that people out there still open their doors and listen to all that cult nonsense from strange JW´s people. Never would them allow to steel my time.
Mrs. Crabapple?
Yup. Smoker. Yelled at the kids. Except Bart’s teacher on the Simpsons cared, deep down. And was also fictional. - Jason
Hebrews 1:5-14 NKJV
KJV
NIV
NLT
NKJV
ESV
For to which of the angels did He ever say: “You are My Son, Today I have begotten You”? And again: “I will be to Him a Father, And He shall be to Me a Son”? But when He again brings the firstborn into the world, He says: “Let all the angels of God worship Him.” And of the angels He says: “Who makes His angels spirits And His ministers a flame of fire.” But to the Son He says: “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.” And: “You, LORD, in the beginning laid the foundation of the earth, And the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; And they will all grow old like a garment; Like a cloak You will fold them up, And they will be changed. But You are the same, And Your years will not fail.” But to which of the angels has He ever said: “Sit at My right hand, Till I make Your enemies Your footstool”? Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?
I read "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" and it pretty much kicked my waking up into high gear. There's a chapter narrated by someone introverted who were a part of charismatic church and how they felt all of it being completelly alien... I never read someone describe my life with such precision. WT simply does not acknowledge introverted people and subjects us to daily torture or the nervous system.
Wow, what an interesting way to wake up! I'll check it out for sure! Thanks for joining us 😄 -Falon
Hi! I'm exJW(faded) from Urkaine. Since I quit going to congregation, I lost all my friends and family and suffering from social isolation from society since the beginning of the war. Need some help or advice. If you want contact with me, just leave here you FB.
Hi Archie! Thanks for leaving us a comment, we'd love to chat & hear your experience. Email us @ exjwchildhood@gmail.com 😊
For me, I always had an outgoing personality. When I was a fully-in JW I was always social, and I was sincere in getting to know people. Even the "outcasts" in the congregation, I would take a personal interest in. But as I started questioning and waking up, I could sense myself becoming more and more withdrawn. By the time I fully woke up and stopped going to meetings, I could barely function on a social level. My social battery is incredibly shallow now. After waking up, I feel like I'm shell of who I used to be socially, and I'm constantly aware of it. 🫤
I feel the same. So do you feel it was a benefit for you to be a witness?
@@HerefortheLove good question. I feel when I was fully in, and truly believed what I was being taught at the Kingdom Hall, for me it was beneficial. But, at least for me, there's a lot of nuance in my answer. For me, as far as how I saw Jehovah as a person as a baptized Jehovah's Witness, I truly felt that how we view and treat other people-whether they were JWs or not-had a huge impact on our relationship with him; it mattered to him. For me, everything else, as far as following rules, and so closely following doctrine wasn't as important as how we were to other people. So having that as my guiding principle was beneficial.
Ironically though, having that as a guiding principle was one of the first things that had me start questioning the organization. Because despite the love we'd learn about in the magazines & publications, most of what I saw in practice was superficial and/or hypocritical love.
What I did learn about myself as I was waking up and especially after I fully woke up, was that certain principles I had were *mine*, not necessarily one's "taught to me" at the Kingdom Hall. Ironically I also learned that, although when I was fully in JW, within the group I would've been considered as a non-judgemental person, but outside of the group, I noticed some judgemental tendencies within myself. I think that's because JWs are so skewed toward being judgemental that having a new point of reference also gives me new perspective.
On balance, I do think that being fully in, fully believing, and practicing JW with sincerity can be beneficial. But once someone starts learning the truth about the Org, and starts thinking critically and understanding the culture, those benefits go away. That's why I'm very, very careful about what I tell people who are still in.
Forgive me for the long and meandering response.
@@jeffparnell5805 you are great at explaining your thoughts clearly and in an organized fashion. Thank you for sharing and explaining in depth.
I was definitely a lot less closed off and suspicious of people as a JW, but now that I have seen what I have and learned what I have, I’m closed off to most. I have many walls up and find it diffiCULT to trust anyone. Nothing makes sense and life feels like a lie across the board. One of the last things you mentioned was about how you’re careful about what you say to those still in because of the benefits it still provides and I completely agree with you. I think that is compassionate and loving to care about how one affects their minds because many are still waist deep in and don’t care to know what exJW’s know. They might not be able to handle it and that would weigh on my shoulders. It’s none of my business anymore what they believe. All I can do is pray for them and pray for myself because none of REALLY know what happens in the end. 🥹
@@HerefortheLove waking up was a terrifying experience. I wouldn't wish that terror on anyone.
Also, one thing I learned was to never take someone's hope away. Even if I know their hope is unfounded or flat out false, It isn't for me to take it away from them. It's for each individual to decide to let go of their hope. And that goes for anything in life, jobs, relationships, circumstances, anything.
Regardless of whatever I could sense or see wasn't right with the Org, the paradise hope was real to me. For me, it wasn't even so much a matter of breaking down the doctrine regarding Paradise, it was no longer being able to trust what I discovered to be a dishonest & secretive organization that was teaching me their views about paradise.
@@jeffparnell5805 it definitely is a terrifying experience. My entire family are deep in the organization meaning they’re pioneers, elders, missionaries etc etc so I am the black sheep of the family. That would take a lot of work to wake them up and I’d be labeled crazy anyways, so I choose to let them believe what they want because they’re not hurting anyone. It’s sad indeed. Would love to know what your beliefs are now. Would it be okay to chat more?
I’ll never forget I got assigned a talk about zerubabbel. Setting: informal witnessing. Counsel point: use of visual aids
What????? For real?
That’s about the same time my panic attacks started happening. And my school overseer would tell me “I assign these to you because I know you can handle it and love a challenge”
🫤
Did you get the dreaded "WIG" on your school counsel form for that talk? Work, Improved, Good ? LOL.
Your experience was as bad as the time I foolishly volunteered for a late-cancel talk before checking the subject matter: overcoming m*sterbation. Too bad I wasn't working on gestures or illustrations for that one.
Good times, good times.
@@adamantiumbullet9215 Hahah forgot about "WIG." I did. I did WIG.