Why I Left - Elder's Wife & Pioneer
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- Опубликовано: 3 янв 2022
- As a pioneer and elder's wife, I saw some weird stuff in the Watchtower organization. Though I couldn't possibly share it all in a single Ex JW video, I do include a few things here, most notably how the elders contributed to my waking up.
It was a long road, but in the end, they were the ones to push me over when I was still somewhat on the fence.
Waking up is one of the most traumatic things that can happen to us...and it can even be a point of convergence for multiple traumas.
But now that that I've had a few years to move on, I feel like I can come at it from a different angle.
That said...it isn't easy talking in front of a camera about all this.
But that's okay...I just hope that someone can find comfort in knowing that they are not alone.
My husband woke up just after being diagnosed with cancer when his doctor asked about blood factors he was shocked. He Googled for the first time wanting to research he stumbled across the ARC he was wide awake at the very time he needed his faith. Of cause I was a good witness and refused to listen. He told me he may not be alive to see me wake up but he was sure he would be the one to wake me. I found a letter from him, he wrote if I loved him I would watch the ARC. I don't know why maybe wanting to be close to him I allowed myself to watch it. I couldn't believe I choose the Governing Body over him I hope he forgave me. He was so right he was the one to open my eye's. So now I find myself alone after giving 65yrs to the organization. I'm so glad you have each other as you now have the opportunity to live the life you have been given
If I would have been escorted out the door because of my child crying, I would have said, take a good look at my face because you are never going to see me in this place ever again.
I too had experienced the same gossiping, my wife being labeled as a spiritually weak person, as well as, being accused of causing divisions within the congregation. The whole trip of being a Jehovah’s Witness was exhausting both physically and mentally because you can never do enough for them. Enjoy your freedom.
I was a young adult “study” for nearly 10 years off and on. I tried to do the right thing (I thought) by bringing my toddler son to Sunday meetings. One Sunday an elder asked me to take my son to the back to a study room due to noise. So I did. And then the elder came back again to tell me “they can still hear him”. I said “Okay”. I packed up, left the hall and NEVER returned. The systematic hypocrisy and bullying by the elders had become very clear.
I was a pioneer for years. The gossiping was terrible and it was one of the things that began turning me off until I quit.
I was verbally abused by a ministerial servant for years...I got out fast when i found out about the 1925 false prophecy...
Isn't that the truth makes you free? Congratulations on leaving as a family in one single piece.
Since June of 2021 I was planning on getting reinstated after being df'd for seven years. I lost my dad in April of '21, so that made me want to come back. So I tried, letter after letter, turning my life upside to do what the elders wanted. 19 months of waiting in, I randomly searched for some kingdom songs on RUclips and found the ARC trial. Initially that was the first nudge to wake up and it was a big one. After that I dug DEEP into the research, discovering the ugly truth about the "truth". Two weeks ago I sent an email to my elders, telling them I'm no longer interested in being reinstated and that I'm not controlled by them anymore. It was so freeing and now I'm fully awake and out. I feel like I can breathe again and live my life.
I have been associated with the organisation for almost 15 years. My husband and I got baptised is 2013 so a decade ago and thankfully we are the only ones in our families who are JWs. We’ve recently left and my daughters young enough at 5 for us to re-educate her so she doesn’t ostracise herself from the world. I was young and easily brainwashed due to suffering trauma I was experiencing so I was a great target. I don’t regret my journey because it led me to have some very good morals and standards for myself but now I’m learning to remove the toxic judgements we make of others.
My husband and I both left after being "in" all our lives and I'll never forget hearing mothers spanking tiny babies/children to keep them from making noise. Once I was standing in the back with one of my babies and an elder's wife came up to me and berated me for not keeping him quiet. I never spanked my kids, it turned my stomach how casually physical abuse was carried out in public.
The strong ones' leave. Then we help the others become strong & they leave. Rinse & repeat. Then, we can warm our hands with the embers from the fire of this cult burning to the ground.
Your story was incredible! Thank you for sharing it. My husband, 2 sons and I have been out 7 years now. My cracks started when our youngest son was born-he’s now a teen. Our other 2 children were in fact young adults-my oldest son being an elder. As a baby our youngest was always soooo loud during meetings-trying to do his baby talk over the people on stage lol. I asked our pediatrician when he was a toddler, how long they should be expected to sit. Her response set the stage for me! Either my son and I would just stay home from the meetings and would listen in on the line or if we went, we’d walk around outside the Kingdom Hall or sit in our car and listen. Of course, it meant I wasn’t in the ‘spiritual crowd,’ esp with the mothers whose kids were being beaten and made to sit through the entire meetings! Then years later when our youngest son started school, our oldest son who was an elder got disfellowshipped! The bottom fell out for me. He lived in another city so I didn’t even get to at least look at him. The ‘friends’ immediately began to treat us as tho we had been df’d too. Talk about kicking you when you’re down! We needed their support, esp as we were grieving the loss of our son! The other moms stopped allowing their kids to come over to play w our youngest. Still we believed it was the truth. 18 months into shunning our oldest, I couldn’t do it anymore. I actually reached out and called our son, shocking him! We spoke for 4 hrs that first time! So emotional! Long story short-he told us he was never going bk to the jws and how he had been researching! He could have said he was from the planet Mars, I was so open and ready, I would have believed him lol! No way was I losing him again! We listened-SHOCKED. We researched as he said and knew we were done. We told our jw daughter about contacting her brother and what we had learned. Her response was to turn us into the elders, who were relentless in stalking us! We disassociated. That was 7 yrs ago-daughter and her husband have been shunning us ever since-ZERO contact yet they live literally 4 minutes away from us! We learned through others that they have a child now-our 1st grandchild. Of course we’ve never met the child and will never be allowed to do so unless of course we ‘return to jehovah.’ Hostage holding. So we gained our son back, only to lose our daughter.
Congratulations on beating the cult brainwashing! You are not alone! There are thousands who are leaving/have left. Not me I just like seeing people get out. The watchtower is nasty and, in my opinion, evil. Cults are bad. Telltale showed me how creepy this cult is and everyone who gets out is a victory.
“Your mouth is taped shut” in the organization, especially women and children. So true … and their loss.
I've heard someone who works in a pharmacy express concern at how so many JWs are on antidepressants. I can see why, and your observations confirm. I know a couple of exJWs who now follow Christ (outside of institutional religion), and their stories are similar to yours. It's so good you didn't let them destroy your marriage. Thanks for sharing.
Free at last! Free at last! Your strength is transposable across many aspects. Don’t be shy to share your story to many people who can relate to you on a totally different level, but still on the same exact feeling!
These kind of experiences happen in all congregations of JWs,its such an unspoken toxicity that the deep ins think is normal,im so glad ive been properly awake for maybe 5 years,but i stopped going in 2012, so it took me far too many years to break out of the mind mold,your videos are much appreciated,love & regards
I will never forget my child only a few years old looking at my book of bible stories and seeing the horrifying picture of Jesus on the stake with nails in his hand. It greatly effected her in such a negative way. I too found it very hard to explain away the pictures the graphic pictures expose children to. All the while thinking this feels wrong.
Hello Katie, What woke me up ? Going to a 78 yr old pioneer sister,s funeral and the elders telling Nicole my wife and I not to talk to the 50 year old daughter of the Pioneer sister. I ignored their advice and got roused on buy a elder. I dissociated in Sept 6th 2018 aged 57 , Nicole my wife is still pimi but hates getting invited to jw get togethers without her apostate husband. We have a loving relationship . I don't want Nicole to leave the watch tower because she'll lose her family and friends . I do want to show Nicole . Born again atheists auxiliary apostate can have good morals and for Nicole to tell all the single sisters find yourself a apostate they make the best husbands. Love you videos. Justin porter ex jw
Big reason I left was seemed like half the kh were on meds, a higher up worked for a big pharm factory, and when I was feeling over stressed and tired, etc, they suggested I see a doctor. That was it for me.